- DAD?
- HI, GIRLS.
- MR. PFEFFERMAN.
MORT. [chuckles]
JESUS.
YOU LOOK AWESOME.
- THANK YOU, TAMMY.
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
- YES.
HOW'S--HOW'S MOM AND DAD?
- THEY'RE GOOD. THEY'RE GOOD, YEAH.
THEY--THEY STILL-- IN PHOENIX.
- OH, IT'S A WONDERFUL TOWN, PHOENIX.
- DAD, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
- SO I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
- UM, OH, OKAY. SO DO YOU GUYS--
YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE? - YES, PLEASE.
- NO, AT LEAST--
- YOU CAN STAY, THAT'S FINE. - PLEASE STAY.
- OH, YEAH, YEAH. SURE.
- SO...
YES, SO...
SO...
[exhales deeply] WHEN I WAS A KID...
EVER SINCE I WAS-- I WAS FIVE,
I--I FELT THAT SOMETHING WAS--
WAS NOT RIGHT.
AND, UH, I COULDN'T TELL ANYBODY
ABOUT MY FEMININE SIDE.
IT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME, YOU KNOW.
VERY DIFFERENT TIME.
AND, UH, PRETTY GIRL...
UH, I JUST, UM, I HAD TO KEEP ALL--
ALL OF THOSE FEELINGS TO MYSELF, AND--
- LOOK, DAD-- - NO, NO, LET ME DO THIS.
JUST PLEASE, GOD, LET ME DO THIS.
PEOPLE LED SECRET LIVES.
AND PEOPLE LED...
VERY LONELY LIVES.
AND, UH-- [chuckles]
THEN, OF COURSE, THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED--
- THE INTERNET. CAN'T HATE ON THAT INTERNET.
IT'S MAGIC.
- I'M SORRY, I-- I'M SORRY, DAD, I'M SORRY.
I'M JUST TRYING-- CAN YOU JUST HELP ME OUT HERE?
[chuckles]
- ARE--ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO START
DRESSING UP LIKE A LADY ALL THE TIME?
- [chuckles] NO, HONEY, ALL MY LIFE--
MY WHOLE LIFE I'VE BEEN DRESSING UP
LIKE A MAN.
THIS IS ME.
[piano music]
♪ ♪
- HEY, PROFESSOR. - HELLO.
[locks door]
[knocking] - PROFESSOR PFEFFERMAN?
IS IT TOO LATE?
PROFESSOR PFEFFERMAN?
- both: [chuckling]
- THAT WAS, UH-- THAT WAS REALLY--
THAT WAS BRAVE OF HER, YOU KNOW?
IT WAS, IT'S HARD. - [laughing]
- COME ON, COME ON.
- HER? - YEAH.
JUST, I MEAN, RIGHT?
- YEAH. - YEAH.
YEAH. [phone beeps]
- OH, GOOD, LEN GOT THE KIDS.
- OH, THAT'S GOOD. I'M STILL WAITING TO HEAR
FROM BARB, ACTUALLY. [phone beeps]
- JESUS. - WHAT?
- BARB AND YOUR DAUGHTER ARE AT MY HOUSE.
[chuckles]
- FUCK.
- GOD.
- P TO THE I TO THE Z-Z-ZA.
- OH, YEAH.
GIMME THAT SHIT, LEMME SEE IT. - COME ON.
COME AND GET IT, CHICKIES.
SO, UH, I NEED TO KNOW,
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE SCHED?
YOU WERE ABLE TO MOVE THAT THING AROUND?
- NO.
- RYAN IS DOING US A HUGE SOLID
BY EVEN JUST, LIKE, CARVING OUT AN HOUR
TO BE IN THE STUDIO WITH US.
HE'S LEAVING FOR BONNAROO TOMORROW.
- I CAN'T RESCHEDULE MY THING.
- KIDS, WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN RECORDING WITH RYAN?
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HER? WHAT'S UP?
- I THINK YOU SHOULD TELL HIM.
- TELL ME WHAT?
- OKAY, WHATEVER, FINE. FUCK YOU.
YOU'RE MAKING ME TELL YOU, BUT I'M SCHEDULED
TO GET AN ABORTION.
- 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, - FUCK, YEAH.
- OH, YEAH.
- 11, 10, - [grunts]
- 9, 8, 7, 6, - I CAN'T, I CAN'T.
- 5, 4, 3, 2. - [heavy breathing]
OOH! AAAHHH!
[blender running]
- WE GOT TO COME UP WITH A NEW NAME FOR OUR IDEA
BECAUSE SEXERCISE.COM WAS TAKEN.
FUCK YOU, GODADDY.
- MMM. ASSHOLES. - OKAY, AEROBICS.
ASS-ROBICS. WORK OUT, WORK OUT.
WORK--TWERK OUT. TWERKOUT.COM.
THAT'S OUR THING. TWERKOUT.COM
- DO YOU KNOW HOW TO TWERK?
- YOU THINK I CAN'T TWERK?
- I WANT TO SEE YOU TWERK. - SHIT, THEY INVENTED TWERKING.
- HEY, MIKE'S HOME. - HELLO.
- HEY, WHAT'S UP?
YOU WANT ONE OF THESE JUICES?
- YEAH, YEAH. - YOU MUST BE STEPHANIE.
- SO NOT STEPHANIE. - ALI.
- EVEN BETTER.
- I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN STEPHANIE.
[scoffs]
- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. A LOT OF PEOPLE DO THIS.
- YEAH. - THEY'LL SQUEEZE OUT THE JUICE.
- HEY, HI, GUYS. - REALLY?
- SORRY, SO LATE. - HEY, NO PROBLEM.
- HEY, BARB. - SARAH.
- HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU. - LIKEWISE.
- HEY, HON, HOW ARE YOU DOING? - HEY, SWEETIE.
- HEY, HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GOOD, THIS IS TAMMY...
- HEY. - HI, GOOD TO MEET YOU.
- FROM COLLEGE. - THE FAMOUS TAMMY CASHMAN.
- OH, MY GOD, SURE. - WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE
THE COVERS OFF OF THIS? IT LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS.
- WELL, BECAUSE WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT THIS WAS HAPPENING.
- I KNOW, BUT IT TAKES JUST A SECOND.
- TAMMY, COLD BEER FOR YOU.
- SHE DOESN'T DRINK. - WATER FOR ME, JUST WATER.
- HOW WAS SHOPPING? HOW DID THAT GO?
- PRETTY HELLISH, ACTUALLY. I WAS GOING TO TAKE HER
TO FIND SOME TILES AT ANN SACKS--
- RIGHT, AND THEN WE HAD TO GO ALL THE WAY
TO THE OTHER--AND WE DIDN'T EVEN END UP GETTING THEM.
HI, HI. [chuckles]
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- MY NAME'S GRACE. - HI, GRACE. I'M SARAH.
IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU.
OH, MY GOD. - THAT'S GRACIE.
- HI, MOMMY. - HI, LOVEY.
- HI, MOMMY. - HI, HONEYBUN.
THAT'S ELLA, ZACK, AND-- - COLBY?
- SO, SARAH, I WAS TELLING BARB ABOUT KENNY'S PLACE ON OAHU.
- HEY, BABE. - YEAH?
- I'M HAVING TROUBLE PULLING UP THE FAMILY CALENDAR.
- YEAH. - YEAH, DO YOU KNOW
THE NEW SPRING BREAK DATES? - OKAY, YEP.
- BARB'S A SCRATCH GOLFER, AND I WAS THINKING
IT WOULD BE FUN TO-- - NOW YOU'RE EXAGGERATING.
I DIDN'T SAY THAT. - SHE SAID "SCRATCH GOLFER."
HOW MUCH FUN WOULD IT BE TO TRAVEL WITH SOMEONE ELSE
THAT PLAYS GOLF? - YEAH.
- THEN WE COULD ALL GO. - YOU'RE IN MAPS RIGHT NOW.
- OH, THIS IS MAPS? - YOU'RE IN MAPS.
- OH, MY GOD.
OF COURSE IT'S YOURS, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- OKAY. - THAT IS SO RUDE.
- OKAY, OKAY, OKAY - [groans]
- I WOULD NOT HAVE JUDGED YOU
IF YOU HAD SLEPT WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
WE NEVER HAD THE TALK. - OH, THE TALK, THE TALK,
THE TALK, THE TALK. UGH.
GIRLS DON'T NEED THE TALK.
ONLY GUYS NEED THE TALK.
- I GET WHY YOU'RE BEING SO FUSSY LATELY.
I-- - I HAVE BEEN FUSSY
BECAUSE I HAVE AN INTERLOPER IN MY BODY.
- YEAH.
LOOK, I'M GOING TO DRIVE YOU HOME.
WE'RE GOING TO PICK UP COLD STONE.
I'LL RUB YOUR FEET.
I'M GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU, OKAY?
- [snoring]
[footsteps approaching]
- YOU FUCKING CRAZY BITCH.
- I'M SORRY. - IT'S OKAY,
I COULDN'T SLEEP EITHER.
[panting and moaning]
- FEELS SO GOOD. - I'M GOING TO KEEP KISSING YOU
AND SEE IF WE CAN MAKE THIS VAN LEVITATE.
JUST HANG THERE IN THE SKY.
I'LL MAKE TIME STOP.
- OH, MY GOD, WE NEED SO MUCH FUCKING TIME.
- I NEED TO FUCK YOU EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE.
- OH, I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
I FUCKING LOVE YOU, TAMMY.
[heavy breathing]
[screaming]
- WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?
- I MADE YOU COME.
- THAT WASN'T DONE.
THAT WAS SOMETHING ELSE.
HOLY FUCK.
FEEL LIKE I'M LYING IN A POOL OF WATER.
LEN AND I DON'T-- - HAVE SEX LIKE THAT?
- HAVE SEX.
- YEAH, ME AND BARB EITHER.
- SO I SAID: "OKAY, NOW, NOW, NOW."
AND I LOOKED DOWN AT MY HAND AND I WAS--
MY HAND WAS SHAKING AND I JUST SAID IT.
AND SO, UM--AND I'M SO SORRY I SURPRISED HER.
IT WAS--IT WAS...
SO TRAGICALLY IMPROMPTU, BUT THERE YOU HAVE IT.
I MEAN, IT'S--IT--IT'S DONE, AND, UM,
WE HAVE ONE DOWN, AND WE HAVE TWO TO GO.
AND THEN, OF COURSE,
THE REST OF NORTH AMERICA.
- THANKS FOR SHARING, MAURA. YOU DID IT.
THAT'S ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR TODAY.
REMEMBER TO TRY THOSE MINDFULLNESS EXERCISES,
AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK.
- LET'S GET A DRINK. COME ON, LET'S CELEBRATE.
- I'VE GOT AA AFTER THIS.
- YOU HAVE WHAT? - AA, GIRL.
- OH, OH. - I'M SOBER ALSO.
- YOU WANT A DRINK?
- OH, I'M--I'M SOBER, HON, SORRY.
- THAT'S A LOT OF US.
- NO TAKERS, HUH? - NO, UM, WELL, YOU SEE,
I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO BACK
TO THE CRAPPY OLD PALISADES JUST NOW.
I'M FEELING... [chuckles]
SO CELEBRATORY, AND I WAS HOPING
I COULD FIND A NEARBY PLACE TO
I DON'T KNOW, HAVE A...
JUST A...
YOU KNOW, FESTIVE COCKTAIL.
CAN I PERSUADE YOU TO JOIN ME IN A FESTIVE COCKTAIL?
- OKAY. WELL, I CAN KNOCK OFF
A LITTLE BIT EARLY, BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
WHY DON'T WE WALK TO MY PLACE
'CAUSE I'VE GOT SOME CRACKERS I NEED TO GET RID OF.
- WALK? [chuckles]
- IT'S UTTERLY PARISIAN, I'D LOVE TO.
- YOU'RE DAVINA, RIGHT?
- THAT'S RIGHT. - I LOVE YOUR NAME.
- WELL, THANK YOU. - YEAH.
- YOU ARE?
- I'M MAURA.
- MAURA.
- CRACKERS. - MM-HMM, LET'S DO IT.
- IS THIS EVERY WEDNESDAY? - EVERY WEDNESDAY.
- I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH AT ALL.
- WHY ARE THE CAR SEATS DOWN?
- OH, I-I MOVED THEM WHEN
TAMMY AND I WENT TO THE TILE PLACE.
NO, NO. THAT ONE GOES OVER THERE.
- IT DOESN'T MATTER.
- YES, IT DOES.
OH, MY GOD, IT GOES ON THE OTHER SIDE.
THEY LIKE TO SIT--HERE, JUST... - FINE.
- SWITCH THEM. - FINE, FINE, FINE.
HERE YOU GO, TAKE THIS. - NO, EXCUSE ME, CAN I PASS?
- JUST TAKE THE SEAT. - JUST LET ME PASS
AND I'LL PUT IT ON THE OTHER SIDE.
- NOW WE'RE GOING TO BE SUPER LATE.
I ALREADY LOOKED AT THE TIME.
- YOU KNOW WHAT, LEN? THAT WAS THE TONE THING
THAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT, OKAY?
SERIOUSLY, DO YOU WANT TO START A FIGHT NOW,
OR SHOULD WE WAIT AFTER WE DROP THE KIDS OFF
AT MY MOM'S? - HEY.
- DATE NIGHT TURNS YOU INTO A MONSTER.
- REALLY? WHY IS THIS SOAKED?
DID A CAPRI-SUN EXPLODE BACK HERE?
- ZACKY, ELLA! - MY TONE?
YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT TONE?
I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO YOUR TONE WHEN YOU TALK TO ME.
I'LL GET A TAPE RECORDER, AND I'LL PLAY IT BACK FOR YOU.
- YEAH, GO GET A TAPE RECORDER. - YOU CAN FUCKING HEAR IT.
I WILL, I'LL FIND A STORE.
- GOOD LUCK. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
- IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
- WELL, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? DID SHE TELL YOU
SHE WAS ON BIRTH CONTROL?
WAS THIS AN ACCIDENTAL ON PURPOSE KIND OF THING?
DO YOU HAVE ANY TOFU SCHMEAR?
- I THINK SO. - THANK YOU.
- TOFU SCHMEAR? WHAT THE FUCK?
- I AM SEEING A TRAINER, AND HE SAYS DAIRY IS BASICALLY
SLUDGE IN YOUR INTESTINES, AND I'VE BEEN WALKING AROUND
FARTING ALL THE TIME, AND IT'S PROBABLY THE DAIRY.
- GOT IT.
- IS SHE GOING TO HAVE AN ABORTION?
- OF COURSE.
- HERE, TRY THIS, SWEETIE.
- THANK YOU.
HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN ANYBODY PREGNANT BEFORE?
- THAT CHICK, CARLY. - OH, SHE WAS SAD.
CAN WE HAVE A QUARTER POUND OF THIS, PLEASE?
- MOM IS GOING TO FREAK IF YOU CHANGE THE STANDING ORDER.
- I'M NOT CHANGING IT, I'M ADDING TO IT.
IT'S AN ADDITION.
DON'T YOU ALWAYS THINK ABOUT THIS GUY IN HIS APARTMENT?
LIKE EATING DINNER IN A FOLDING CHAIR
THAT HE COOKED ON A HOT PLATE,
JUST IN HIS BOXERS AND SHORTS.
- NO, I DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT, EVER.
WHY WOULD YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
- I CAN'T HELP IT.
- CAN I PAY UP NOW, PLEASE?
- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE.
I'LL JUST SWING BACK AROUND,
AND PICK UP HIS SOCCER STUFF,
AND DROP IT OFF LATER.
GOD, YOU CAN HEAR THEM FROM HERE.
- THAT'S 25 MINUTES OUT OF YOUR WAY.
- YEAH, HAPPY SUNDAY. - YEAH.
- LET'S GET THE KIDS OUT, SAVE THE FUTURE.
- AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT
IF YOU'D THOUGHT TO PACK IT.
- WELL, IF YOU'D SEEN IT IN THE FOYER,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DIDN'T JUST PUT IT
INTO THE CAR. - BECAUSE I DON'T DO THINGS
IF I'M NOT BEING ASKED TO DO THEM
'CAUSE I DON'T LIKE GETTING IN TROUBLE.
- ANYBODY ELSE? - BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE A CHILD.
- CAN WE TAKE THE KIDS OUT SO YOU GUYS CAN CONTINUE
WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU'RE DOING?
- CAN YOU TAKE THAT? DO YOU MIND?
- I'LL TAKE IT. - YOU TAKE IT THEN, YOU TAKE IT.
YOU TAKE IT.
- OH, MAN.
ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS?
THE FORECAST CALLS FOR TEARS?
ARE YOU NOT HAVING ANY FUN TODAY?
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE ONE OUNCE OF FUN?
- ELLA FORGOT HER DREAM LIGHT.
- I GOT A DREAM LIGHT FOR YOU.
ONE DREAM LIGHT.
- THANK YOU.
- FREE.
ARE YOU GOING TO BE LIKE THIS ALL DAY?
- SO THE OTHER-- THE OTHER DAY
WHEN TAMMY AND I WERE LATE,
WE WERE AT MY DAD'S PLACE,
YOU KNOW, WE WERE, LIKE, LOOKING AT THE HOUSE,
AND HE WALKED IN, AND--AND HE WAS...
[chuckles]
HE WAS DRESSED AS A WOMAN.
- WAIT, WHAT?
- I'M COMING. I'M COMING.
HELLO-OH, ZACKY, MY [kissing]
- SARAH AND LEN WILL BE IN IN A MINUTE.
- OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, MY BABY, GORGEOUS, EVER.
OH, AND YOU. - HI.
- HELLO. GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.
WHA--WHAT? WHO CHANGED THE STANDING ORDER?
- ALI GOT TOFU SCHMEAR.
- WHY'D ALI GET TOFU SCHMEAR?
WHAT ABOUT THE LOX SPREAD? WHAT ABOUT THE VEGGIE?
- NOTHING WAS REPLACED. IT WAS AN "ADDITION TO."
I'M DAIRY FREE. - [gasps]
THAT'S GOOD. I'M DAIRY FREE TOO.
- SINCE WHEN? - RIGHT NOW.
I'VE BEEN MEANING TO CUT IT OUT;
MAKES ME VERY GASSY.
- YEAH, THAT'S PROBABLY WHERE YOU GET IT FROM.
- HOW'S ED?
- ALL HE DOES IS STARE.
- WHAT DOES THE DOCTOR SAY?
- THE DOCTOR, THE DOCTOR.
WHAT DOES THE DOCTOR SAY? WHAT DOES THE DOCTOR SAY?
AH, I SHOULD WRITE A SONG.
♪ WHAT DOES THE DOCTOR SAY ♪
COULD BE LIKE THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
I COULD DIE, AND BE ROTTING IN MY CASKET
BEFORE ANYONE NOTICES.
- WELL, YOU SHOULD GET HELP.
- WHY CAN'T YOU HELP? HMM?
DID YOU GET A JOB YET?
HMM?
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
- both: ♪ WHAT DOES THE DOCTOR SAY? ♪
♪ WHAT DOES THE DOCTOR SAY? ♪
- all: ♪ WHAT DOES THE DOCTOR SAY? ♪
♪ WHAT DOES THE DOCTOR SAY? ♪
- I GREW UP IN LOS ANGELES.
I DID, UH, I DON'T KNOW, THE WHOLE JEWISH THING.
IT'S LIKE MUSICAL CHAIRS.
YOU HIT 25, AND YOU JUST CHOOSE THE--THE ONE
WHO'S STANDING CLOSEST TO YOU,
AND SO WE HAD THREE KIDS,
AND WE LIVED IN TWO HOUSES,
WE HAD SO MANY PETS,
AND THEN, FINITA LA COMMEDIA.
- TELL ME ABOUT YOUR KIDS. - MM-HMM, YEAH.
SARAH, SHE'S MY OLDEST.
I TOLD HER,
AND SHE TOOK IT-- SHE ACTUALLY TOOK IT--
OH, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
SHE TOOK IT VERY WELL.
MAYBE TOO WELL, YOU KNOW.
I THINK SHE'S INTERNALIZING THE WHOLE THING,
AND NEXT THING, YOU KNOW, SHE'S GOING TO HAVE SHINGLES.
THERE'S JOSHIE.
HE'S MY VERY SUCCESSFUL SON.
HE'S IN THE MUSIC BUSINESS.
HE IS A VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY,
IMAGE-CONSCIOUS, YOU KNOW, HE'S ALWAYS THE--
THE NOW THING, AND THE NOW RESTAURANT,
AND THE NOW, YOU KNOW, JACKET,
AND THE NOW SUNGLASSES, AND THE NOW GIRLFRIEND,
AND THE NOW...DUNGAREES.
- [chuckles]
- AND THEN THERE'S ALI, SHE'S MY BABY.
THAT GIRL DOES NOT SEEM TO LEARN, VERY SMART.
99TH PERCENTILE ON HER S.A.T.S.
- WOW.
- OUT-OF-THE-BOX SMART.
SHE JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO...
TO LAND.
CAN I GO INTO YOUR ROOM?
- SURE. - IT'S SO PRETTY.
MM.
I'M GOING TO SIT AT YOUR VANITY.
- YOU KNOW, SWEETIE,
THIS IS A REALLY BIG JOURNEY THAT WE'RE ON,
AND YOU'VE JUST STARTED ON IT,
SO YOU'VE GOT TO LEARN TO LET GO
OF EVERYTHING ANYBODY THINKS OF YOU.
A REALLY, REALLY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE
SAID THIS TO ME WHEN I FIRST TRANSITIONED.
SHE SAID, "YOU KNOW, IN FIVE YEARS
"YOU'RE GOING TO LOOK UP,
"AND NOT ONE OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS
"IS STILL GOING TO BE THERE.
NOT ONE."
- WAS YOUR FRIEND RIGHT?
- YEP.
- THAT'S SO SAD.
[police sirens]
- WHO IS IT? - WHO'S THAT?
- HURRY! [indistinct] [sirens grow louder]
- MOM NEEDS THE AEROBED PUMP. DO YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS?
- NO, WHY WOULD I KNOW WHERE IT IS?
MOM'S LEG IS BLEEDING.
- MOM'S LEG IS BLEEDING?
- YEAH, I CAUGHT MY LEG ON THAT SLATTY THING OUT THERE.
- I'LL GET IT. - NO, NO, NO.
DON'T--DON'T DO ANYTHING. - I GOT IT FOR YOU.
- WHEN YOU GET TO MY AGE, YOUR SKIN IS LIKE KLEENEX.
- THE LEGEND OF TANTE GITTEL'S RING.
- WILL YOU COME BLOW THIS THING UP, PLEASE?
- WHAT'S THE STORY WITH THIS THING AGAIN?
WHO IS TANTE GITTEL? IS THAT GRANDMA ROSE'S SISTER
WHO WAS IN TREBLINKA?
- DID WE REALLY HAVE SOMEBODY IN TREBLINKA?
- WASN'T IT SHE WAS, LIKE, WAITING IN LINE,
GOING TO HER DEATH, AND HANDED IT TO SOMEBODY
RIGHT BEFORE SHE WALKED INTO THE GAS CHAMBER?
- PUT THAT THING AWAY. YOUR FATHER TRIED TO PROPOSE
TO ME WITH THAT FAKAKTA THING.
AND I SAYS--I SAYS, "NO WAY, SIR,"
AND I MADE HIM GET ME ANOTHER.
YOU SEE THEM OUT THERE?
ARGUING LIKE THAT FOR A HALF AN HOUR.
I SHOULD PUT THE LOX AWAY.
I DON'T WANT IT TO DRY OUT.
[air pump running]
[birds squawking]
- WELL, SO THE FUCK WHAT?
YOU KNOW, YOUR DAD'S ALWAYS BEEN CREEPY.
- CREEPY?
THIS IS NOT ABOUT BEING CREEPY.
THIS IS LIKE--THIS IS ABOUT BEING IN THE WRONG BODY.
I MEAN, JUST--CAN YOU HAVE A LITTLE EMPATHY?
IT'S LIKE--IT'S LIKE--
IT'S LIKE HE'S BEEN--
IT'S LIKE HE'S HIDING.
IT'S LIKE HE'S BEEN HIDING HIS WHOLE LIFE.
OH, FUCK. DON'T TELL ALI, OKAY?
'CAUSE MY DAD'S NOT TALKED TO HER YET.
- WHAT?
- MA'AM, MA'AM. [geese honking]
I GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU
TO USE CAUTION WHEN PASSING THROUGH THIS AREA
WITH OUR GOOSE POPULATION.
- OKAY, OFFICER. I'M--I'M JUST GOING OVER HERE,
USING CAUTION.
- YOU GUYS HAVE TO COME IN AT SOME POINT.
- ARE THE KIDS OKAY?
JUST PUT A MOVIE ON, THEY LIKE FROZEN.
- THEY'RE FINE. - WE'LL BE IN IN A MINUTE.
- OH, MY GOD. WHAT IS THIS?
- IT'S TOFU SCHMEAR. - IT'S DISGUSTING.
I DON'T WANT THIS.
- I'M KEEPING MINE. THIS IS TIP-TOP.
- THANK YOU. - REPULSIVE.
- FUCKING CAPERS. - PLEASE HURRY.
[geese honking] - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. ALI, ALI.
- HELLO. - ALI, DROP YOUR PLATE.
- [yells] - ALI.
- MA'AM, WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT
IS A POSTURING GOOSE.
- HELLO. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
- HE WILL RIP YOUR ARM OFF OR WORSE,
FOR WHATEVER YOU GOT ON THAT PLATE.
- DROP IT! DROP IT!
TO THE LEFT! - GO AROUND THE BENCH.
- ALI, DROP THE PLATE! - [screams]
- HIDE THE FOOD!
THAT BIRD CAN BITE PEOPLE.
- JUST DROP THE PLATE!
- STEP BACK, STEP BACK.
- OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
[goose honking]
- MY DREAM LIGHT ONLY WORKS
IF YOU CLOSE ALL THE BLINDS FIRST.
- BLINDS CLOSED.
THIS LIGHT? - YEAH.
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE UNDER WATER, UNCLE JOSHIE.
- AND YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE UNDER WATER.
WE'RE BOTH UNDER WATER.
- YEAH.
- THIS WHOLE HOUSE IS UNDER THE OCEAN.
- YEAH.
- ♪ I GOT TO BET THAT YOUR OLD MAN... ♪
- AND THAT'S GOOD NIGHT TO MURRAY.
- OH, MY GOODNESS.
♪ ♪
- HE WAS A SWEET OLD QUEEN.
- ♪ TURNED YOU LOOSE, YOUR MAMA TOO ♪
♪ THERE WASN'T A THING THAT YOU COULD DO ♪
♪ BUT I GOT FAITH IN YOU, IT'S A RAZOR LOVE ♪
♪ THAT CUTS CLEAN THROUGH ♪
- COME ON. COME ON IN, HONEY. IT'S FINE.
WE ALL CHECK ON EACH OTHER'S MAIL,
WATER EACH OTHER'S PLANTS.
- ♪ IT'S A RAZOR LOVE ♪
- MM. - ♪ THAT CUTS CLEAN THROUGH ♪
- I FEEL IT'S A LITTLE UNTOWARD
LOOKY-LOOING THROUGH HIS PLACE.
- IT'S OKAY. MURRAY WOULDN'T MIND, REALLY.
IT'S FINE.
♪ ♪
THE LAST VACANCY HERE WENT FOR TWO GRAND.
- HONESTLY, 2,000 IS--IS CHEAP.
- ♪ LOOKING THROUGH THE WINDOW AT A SILHOUETTE ♪
♪ TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING I CAN'T FIND YET ♪
♪ IMAGINATION IS MY BEST FRIEND ♪
♪ GOT TO LOOK OUT FOR THE GREEDY HAND, GREEDY HAND ♪
♪ MAKE A LIVING LIKE A ROLLING STONE ♪
♪ ON THE ROAD THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME ♪
♪ SILHOUETTES ON THE WINDOW ♪
♪ ♪
♪ WHO WAS IT MADE YOUR EYES FLICKER LIKE THAT... ♪
- OKAY, JUST THINK.
IF WE DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,
IN LIKE EIGHT MONTHS, A PERSON WOULD BE HERE.
A NEW PERSON WHO IS HALF OF YOU
AND HALF OF ME. - BUT WHAT ABOUT GLITTERISH?
WHAT ABOUT MY MUSIC CAREER?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE REPRESENTING ME.
- I KNOW, BUT THINK ABOUT
ALL THE POSSIBILITIES.
LIKE WE COULD GO TO TOPANGA,
WE COULD GO TO NORTHERN CALIFORNIA.
WE COULD GET A CABIN.
WE COULD HAVE A BABY.
WE COULD RECORD THERE.
WE COULD GO TO THE WOODS,
AND YOU COULD JUST, LIKE, GET FAT, AND, LIKE,
A RIPE PEACH.
- I DON'T WANT TO BE A PEACH.
- OKAY, LOOK, COME HERE.
COME ON, COME ON.
PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT.
UM, OKAY.
WE SHOULD GET MARRIED.
- WHAT IS THAT?
- IT'S MY TANTE GITTEL'S RING.
I'M PRETTY SURE SHE DIED IN THE HOLOCAUST.
- EW.
- "EW"?
"EW" TO WHAT?
- THE HOLOCAUST.
- "EW" TO THE HOLOCAUST?
- I MEAN NO GIRL WANTS TO GET PROPOSED TO
WITH A RING THAT CAME FROM THE HOLOCAUST.
- HELLO? HELLO?
I JUST WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT.
- ♪ GOT TO LOOK OUT FOR THE GREEDY HAND, GREEDY HAND ♪
♪ MAKE A LIVING LIKE A ROLLING STONE ♪
♪ ON THE ROAD THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME ♪
♪ SILHOUETTES ON THE WINDOW ♪
♪ ♪
♪ AND ALL I GOT FOR YOU IS THE KIND OF LOVE ♪
♪ THAT CUTS CLEAN THROUGH ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ALL I GOT FOR YOU IS A RAZOR LOVE ♪
♪ IT CUTS CLEAN THROUGH ♪
♪ ♪
♪ YOU REALLY MAKE MY DAY ♪
♪ WITH THE LITTLE THINGS YOU SAY ♪
♪ ♪
[harmonica plays]
♪ ♪ ca plays]