1
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,967
[Sudha] Previously,
on The Pradeeps of Pittsburgh...

2
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:09,719
Thanks for getting me that investor.

3
00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:11,137
He invited us bow hunting.

4
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:13,222
-Scary berries!
-Jimbo, don't shoot him!

5
00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:14,223
Ooh!

6
00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:16,225
[screaming]

7
00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:19,854
This wouldn't have happened if
your weird boy wasn't afraid of berries.

8
00:00:19,937 --> 00:00:22,398
You know what?
You are not a good neighbor.

9
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:23,399
[gasps]

10
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,860
Did your moron son
give this to my daughter?

11
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,571
The girl needs guidance.
She isn't getting it at home.

12
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,489
-Excuse me?!
-Oh, shit.

13
00:00:30,573 --> 00:00:32,366
Let me live my life, okay?

14
00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:35,578
You make bad decisions.
You always have.

15
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,455
Maybe it is time to change.

16
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,664
Dunk me.

17
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,168
[bubbling]

18
00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:49,258
[Dark Suit]
Halloween... birthday... incest.

19
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,259
[Light Suit]
Wow!

20
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:53,596
Wow! If what Janice said
is even close to the truth,

21
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,348
the Pradeeps are capable of
unspeakable depravity.

22
00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,559
-[typewriter clacking]
-Uh-huh.

23
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:01,687
Burning down the Mills' house
almost pales in comparison.

24
00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:02,813
Mm-hmm.

25
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,899
Oh! There you two are.

26
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:08,235
Ma'am, this is our private office,
not the interrogation room.

27
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,197
Sorry. I just forgot to mention
that Mahesh and Sudha

28
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,492
also tried to kill everyone
at my Halloween party. Monsters.

29
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,452
-What?
-Okay, bye!

30
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:23,042
Kill everyone?
Should we have asked more about that?

31
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,252
Free lesson, rook. When you
hear something sensational,

32
00:01:25,336 --> 00:01:27,838
you have to get
the other side of the story.

33
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:29,256
Let's talk to the Pradeeps.

34
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:32,259
How do we even begin to talk about...
this?

35
00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:34,970
Ease into it. You talk to the kids
about "Halloween. "

36
00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:39,225
I'll talk to the parents about "Birthday. "
Maybe one of us will get to the big "I. "

37
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:41,393
This got NC-17 real quick.

38
00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:43,479
Let's make this interesting.

39
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:46,607
First one to get there... wins.

40
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,108
All right.

41
00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:49,819
[theme music]

42
00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,673
[Light Suit]
So, Sudha, a little bird told me

43
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:13,676
your first birthday in America
was hard for you.

44
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:17,513
That's because in India,
October 31st is my birthday.

45
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:18,973
Here, it's Halloween.

46
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,558
Obesity's birthday.

47
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:23,894
So, your birthday has always
been a big deal to you.

48
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,897
I would say medium deal
because I'm a grown adult.

49
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,107
Mm.

50
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:31,235
But America had already
taken so much from me.

51
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:36,156
My career, my connection with my daughter,
then, it came for my birthday.

52
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,701
My neighborhood was decorated
like a horror film.

53
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:42,288
I wanted to throw myself
into one of those fake graves.

54
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:46,125
Really, Minerva?
You're going to Janice's too?

55
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:49,962
Well, tell me when your birthday is
so I can cancel two hours before,

56
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:53,173
but after you bought
a 64-ounce tub of guacamole.

57
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,509
Nobody's coming.

58
00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:57,720
They're all going
to the Mills' Halloween party,

59
00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,806
which I swear Janice is throwing
just to ruin my birthday.

60
00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:04,143
-Cheer up, I made you chai.
-Oh, so nice.

61
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,145
If only America was full of Maheshes.

62
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:09,690
Instead, I'm forced to share my day
with this grotesque celebration

63
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:13,777
that demeans honorable vocations.
[scoffs] Sexy nurse?

64
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:17,573
I can assure you, there's nothing sexy
about wiping a paraplegic's bottom.

65
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,828
Kamal, put away your therapy clay.

66
00:03:22,912 --> 00:03:24,663
Your mother is very upset.

67
00:03:24,747 --> 00:03:25,831
That's new.

68
00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:28,500
So, we're going to celebrate her birthday
all day long.

69
00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:32,004
What about trick-or-treating?
This is our first Halloween.

70
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:35,049
The closest thing in India we had
was that weird old guy

71
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,384
giving out free lollies
at the train station.

72
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:40,763
You were supposed to give a donation,
you doba, he was blind.

73
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,681
-Oh.
-Mommy needs us.

74
00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:44,016
We're all she has.

75
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:47,603
But Mo and Willa need me.
We're going as rock, paper, scissors.

76
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:48,854
I'm paper.

77
00:03:48,938 --> 00:03:49,897
Ah.

78
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:53,609
-I bought a costume. I was hoping...
-Do not say the Mills' party.

79
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:56,362
It would kill your mother.
After she's killed you.

80
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,239
Bhanu, let's cut to the chase.

81
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:02,826
I know you and Stu had
some weird stuff planned for Halloween.

82
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,036
There was nothing weird.

83
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,248
Oh, that.

84
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:12,461
What can I say? We were young, dumb,
and full of completely kinky ideas.

85
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,547
[panting, moaning]

86
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,054
Wait.

87
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,809
This is our first time,
and my very first time.

88
00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:29,895
I want it to be special.

89
00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,814
Taking you to the place where they

90
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:34,900
found a severed foot in a sneaker
isn't that special, huh?

91
00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,902
I've been thinking about this
for awhile.

92
00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:40,781
I did a Survey Monkey at school asking
other girls about their first times,

93
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,158
and their responses ranged
from "unremarkable"

94
00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:45,077
to "he never stopped eating Doritos. "

95
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:49,498
I want this to be special, too.
Do you want to do it in a bed?

96
00:04:49,581 --> 00:04:52,418
I'm thinking bigger.
Phantom of the Opera.

97
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,504
-Thought you were gonna say waterbed.
-It's so good!

98
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:57,339
I wasn't allowed to see it,

99
00:04:57,423 --> 00:05:01,093
so I had to watch this bootlegged
copy I stole from my Auntie's house.

100
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:04,304
It is like the most passionate love story
of all time.

101
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:08,684
Damn! We should watch it then.
On a waterbed!

102
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:12,438
Better-- we are going to live it.

103
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:15,733
The masks, the forbidden love,
the danger.

104
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,609
The music of the night.

105
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:21,947
Hot! That sounds like us.
I can't wait to be your Phantom.

106
00:05:22,031 --> 00:05:23,490
-No.
-Hmm?

107
00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:27,411
I'm gonna be the Phantom.
I want to feel the power of rescuing you.

108
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,456
-Then, who am I?
-Christine.

109
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:33,834
Baranski? She is The Good Fight.

110
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,628
-Christine from Phantom.
-You want me to play a chick?

111
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:38,297
-Is that too weird?
-No.

112
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:42,384
No, you got baptized for me,
I'll be your Christine.

113
00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:45,679
-Okay.
-So, when are we hitting the opera?

114
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,389
Halloween night.

115
00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:49,558
Perfect. My parents throw a rager.

116
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,102
I was gonna offload a bunch of Ohio merch.

117
00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,396
My mom's book club alone
will clean us out.

118
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,148
Those bitches love to get high.

119
00:05:56,231 --> 00:06:00,277
Okay. First, we score,
and then, we score.

120
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,446
[Dark Suit]
We all have secrets.

121
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,782
Your sister had secret plans with Stu.

122
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,576
-Boring, baby.
-All right, baby, how 'bout this?

123
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:10,579
What secret are you guys keeping
from Halloween?

124
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:13,332
Maybe a naughty secret from your parents?

125
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,375
-What's your secret?
-I don't have secrets.

126
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,044
You said we all have secrets.

127
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,629
-I'm in charge here.
-Are you?

128
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,297
[stammers]

129
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:23,717
Okay, look, our parents weren't even home
for most of Halloween.

130
00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:27,179
If they were, they could've saved us
from the horrors that happened.

131
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,222
Horrors?

132
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,348
Horrors.

133
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,600
-[doorbell rings]
-Our first trick-or-treaters!

134
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,143
Candy's the heart of Halloween.

135
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,145
I like that.

136
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,524
Happy Halloween! Ah!

137
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,025
[laughs evilly]

138
00:06:40,109 --> 00:06:41,443
Ah! Oh!

139
00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:47,199
Trick-or-treat, dot-heads! [laughs]
Eat me!

140
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:49,034
[bike revs]

141
00:06:49,118 --> 00:06:51,370
Out of my way, you stupid kids!

142
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:52,371
That your bully?

143
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:54,832
You should get revenge.
This is a hate crime.

144
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,252
Involving biological weapons.
Raw eggs are salmonella grenades!

145
00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,796
I've tried to get through to him
with pacifism,

146
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:04,049
but even Gandhi would agree
that boy's a caca-faced punk!

147
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:08,345
While your kids were being terrorized,
what were you off doing

148
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,555
that was so important?

149
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:11,974
Wandering aimlessly
in a spiral of despair.

150
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:14,059
She got in a lot of steps that day.

151
00:07:14,143 --> 00:07:17,396
[Sudha] Until I came across a killer
of my soul!

152
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,732
Oh, look, it's the birthday girl!

153
00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:24,820
[laughs] You know, Minerva just told me
what her costume is for my party.

154
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:30,826
Wanna know? She's dressing up as someone
not going to your party. [laughs]

155
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,203
Oh, you. Okay, bye!

156
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:36,456
[Sudha]
I decided to give myself a birthday gift.

157
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,750
Oopsie.

158
00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,919
But that wasn't the only gift I got.

159
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:43,213
[Mahesh, Bhanu, Kamal, Vinod]
Surprise!

160
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,090
-[gasps]
-Should we jump to the cake?

161
00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:48,218
Wait, wait, wait. Let me savor this.

162
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:51,305
My beautiful family.
Out there's a hellscape,

163
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:55,309
but in here, you've reminded me
of everything I still have.

164
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,186
Well put. Let's cut this baby.

165
00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:01,273
Aside from Vinod, who for some reason
is dressed like a dirty napkin,

166
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:04,151
I'm touched by how much you all love me.

167
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,945
Especially Kamal,
who clearly made this cake.

168
00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:08,363
[Kamal]
I'm your good boy.

169
00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:11,533
It's okay. I knew you couldn't fit
the rest of our names.

170
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:14,870
I could, but I didn't.
Happy birthday, Mummy.

171
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:17,706
Jai Shri Krishna, my heart is full.

172
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:20,751
Our house was a blessed place
brimming with love.

173
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,378
Meanwhile, the Mills' house
was a cursed place,

174
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:26,632
brimming with tacky decorations
and tackier people.

175
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:30,802
Ladies and gentlemen, guys and ghouls,
please, welcome your hosts,

176
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:36,099
straight outta Congress,
The Social Justice Warriors!

177
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,602
-[cheers]
-Woo! [laughs]

178
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,146
Thank you all for coming
to our annual ghoula.

179
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:43,982
There's nothing scarier than socialism,
right?

180
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:45,567
AOC can suck it!

181
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:48,862
[laughs] I call these truth bombs.

182
00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:50,489
Take that, Medicare For All.

183
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:51,990
Woo-hoo!

184
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,701
Wait. Why are we against healthcare again?

185
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,287
Oh, don't overthink it.
Just get me a drink.

186
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:01,166
[mysterious music]

187
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:05,504
Oh, my sweet Jesus who sits upon
a velvet throne in Heaven.

188
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,172
Are you wearing my wedding dress?!

189
00:09:07,256 --> 00:09:10,550
Before you say anything,
this is just a costume, not every day.

190
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:13,303
Stu, just let me say one thing.

191
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:16,807
I always wanted a daughter to wear this.
I never had her.

192
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,893
But, luckily, I have a son
who wears it even better.

193
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:22,688
It does make my pecs pop, huh?

194
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:26,775
I'll be damned. You look
just like your mom on our wedding day.

195
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:29,403
If you said, "Stop looking
at my sister's boobs!"

196
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,947
I swear, I'd be right back at that altar.

197
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,157
[chuckles] Aunt Betsy is stacked, huh.

198
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,325
-Mm.
-Mm-hmm.

199
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:36,410
[music skips]

200
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,287
Hey, DJ, what's going on?

201
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:42,791
Go fix the music.
I'm gonna go dance with sexy nurse.

202
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,084
[chuckles]

203
00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:49,214
Just sold a bunch to DJ.
Where's my Phantom?

204
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:52,509
[Bhanu] Nice. I'll be there ASAP.
I mean, ASS-AP.

205
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:56,513
Oh, sweet. Here's a little candy
for your eyes.

206
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,348
[shutter clicks]

207
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,100
[Mahesh]
Ready, everyone?

208
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:03,729
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

209
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,940
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

210
00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:09,443
♪ Happy birthday, dear... ♪

211
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,320
[loud music playing]

212
00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,487
Mummy...

213
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:14,323
[loud music stops]

214
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,491
Okay, one more time.

215
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:19,328
[plays chords on organ]

216
00:10:19,411 --> 00:10:22,831
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

217
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:26,585
-[loud music playing]
-♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

218
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:29,046
-♪ Hap... ♪
-[loud music skipping]

219
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,631
It sounds like they're having
technical difficulties over there.

220
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:34,926
Technical shmechnical.
They're trying to sabotage my birthday.

221
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:37,763
I'll go talk to them.
It's my gift to you.

222
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,182
-I might be awhile.
-You're not seeing Stu.

223
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:44,478
I'll take care of it.
The Mills have ruined our lives enough.

224
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:48,106
That's my hero.
You go get them, Mahesh.

225
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:51,193
So, this was the first time
you talked to Jimbo

226
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:53,111
since your ill-fated hunting trip.

227
00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:57,657
Yes. I tried to avoid him
but I had to save my wife's birthday.

228
00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:00,160
I love my wife more than anything.

229
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:03,288
Love makes you do crazy things,
doesn't it, Mahesh?

230
00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:07,793
It was just supposed to be a conversation.
I didn't think it'd turn out like that!

231
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:10,837
Mahesh, what happened that night
had to happen.

232
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:13,090
It all happened so fast.

233
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,966
[intense scary music]

234
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,183
[possessed voice]
This ends now.

235
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,939
[wolves howling]

236
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,109
Here. Some miscreant
kicked over your scarecrow.

237
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,152
I've been trying to reach you, bud.

238
00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:37,072
I hate how we left things
after that hunting trip.

239
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:39,533
Did you get that dancing hamster GIF
I sent?

240
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,536
I wouldn't know. I put your contact
on Do Not Disturb.

241
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:45,539
Didn't block me, though, huh?
There's still hope.

242
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:48,625
No hope. I'm here to ask you
to turn down the music.

243
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,127
Well, that's the thing.

244
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:54,965
Here's your problem.
The entire system is overloaded.

245
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,884
The DJ blew it out.
I think he's on drugs.

246
00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,636
I can't feel my fingers!

247
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:00,971
Can you fix it?

248
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,391
Of course, I'm an engineer.
But I'm not doing this for you.

249
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,643
I'm doing this to save Sudha's birthday.

250
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,396
Tell her happy birthday from me.
What'd you get her?

251
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,273
A plaque that says "co-president. "

252
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:13,775
Sounds like your rocket business
is coming along.

253
00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:16,528
Mm, no, I'm about to lose
my Space-X contract

254
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,280
because I can't make the delivery.

255
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,907
Bummer. Anything I can do?

256
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:25,328
Yes. Get me pliers, a ladder
and a root beer, no ice.

257
00:12:26,329 --> 00:12:29,958
[Stu] WTF, your dad is here.
Where are you?

258
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:34,129
[Bhanu] I know, sucks.
I'm still coming. XO Phantom.

259
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,840
[Stu]
Hot. XO Christine. [chuckles]

260
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,133
Ah!

261
00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:41,470
Help me get revenge on my nemesis.

262
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,139
Sorry, I'm too busy
not wanting to do that.

263
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,807
You swore a blood oath.

264
00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:46,766
Says who?

265
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,312
A red string, red string!

266
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:51,605
[scoffs]

267
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,440
A string? What am I missing?

268
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:57,277
It's called a rakhi, and sister's
tie it onto their brother's wrists

269
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,321
-as a promise of protection.
-Oh.

270
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:00,906
What a lovely tradition.

271
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,658
Not really. It started out
as a patriarchal thing,

272
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,869
where sisters pretended
to bless their brothers,

273
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,788
but really, they begged
to be allowed back in the village

274
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,040
when they became widows.

275
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,042
So, you're mourning your dead husband

276
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,878
and your brother won't let you
back in the village?

277
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,588
Why protect that jerk?

278
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:20,133
Because he was 11 and he needed help
against a caca-faced punk.

279
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:21,468
Okay!

280
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:25,555
[Sudha] Meanwhile, I was dealing
with my own caca-faced punk.

281
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:28,058
Shh! What's your father still doing
over there?

282
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,351
The Monster Mahesh?

283
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,560
[Kamal]
Good one, Mummy.

284
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:33,188
I'm going over to yank out
all the circuit breakers.

285
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,273
Didn't Mrs. Mills banish you
from their property?

286
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:38,193
Oh, you're right.
If she sees me, she'll call the police.

287
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:41,363
It hurts my heart knowing
my two favorite ladies don't get along.

288
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:42,822
It's not my fault, beta.

289
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:49,454
♪ My two favorite ladies
They don't get along ♪

290
00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:50,455
It's good.

291
00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:53,542
[Sudha] It was not good.
But my idea was brilliant.

292
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:56,711
I snuck into the Mills' party
dressed as the Phantom.

293
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:59,506
Oh, hi! Great costume.

294
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:03,176
[Sudha] I almost got caught by Janice,
but I didn't because she's an idiot.

295
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:07,222
Hold on. You're telling me
Sudha broke into the Mills' house

296
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,516
in disguise, just to save her birthday?

297
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:14,729
Maybe it wasn't about her birthday.
Maybe it was about this.

298
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:18,149
Dear Lord, the big "I. "
I feel like I'm gonna lose this bet.

299
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:22,904
Oh. Oh, you're definitely gonna lose.
Tick-tock, rookie.

300
00:14:22,988 --> 00:14:24,781
I gotta think more like her.

301
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:27,492
Boom! Uh-huh.

302
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,035
Where are Kamal and Bhanu?

303
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:32,664
I didn't want them seeing their
little brother dragged off in handcuffs.

304
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,124
Why would they see that?

305
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,209
Because you're not telling me everything,
Vinod.

306
00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:38,837
Give me something good. Or else.

307
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,381
My sister stole a car
to help fight my bully.

308
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:42,507
Ooh, felony!

309
00:14:42,591 --> 00:14:44,259
It was just my parents' car.

310
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,095
Family car, family affair.
Sounds risqué.

311
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,264
The drive was very risqué.

312
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:52,559
Hurry up, let's go.
We need more eggs for the bully.

313
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:53,768
Let's rock!

314
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,021
Punch it, Bhanu.

315
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,231
[tires squeal]

316
00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:01,318
Boom! I know you stole a car.
Tell me everything!

317
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,319
Or else.

318
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,408
You got any games on your phone?

319
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:12,287
Boom! I know your sister stole a car.
Tell me everything! Or else.

320
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:16,374
That was all Bhanu and Vinod. But
it wasn't the only naughty thing they did.

321
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:20,170
What did they do? You can tell me.
This is their shame, not yours.

322
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,047
Vinod even got his friends involved.

323
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,716
Wow. So many children.

324
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:29,012
Now, I don't know if I want to win
that five dollars.

325
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,764
Incest, or no incest.

326
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,141
[Kamal]
Bhanu led us down a dark path.

327
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,143
Grand theft eggs.

328
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,647
We are going to destroy that bully!

329
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:40,732
What are you doing?

330
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:42,984
Forgot my wallet, we have to steal it.

331
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:44,110
[Mo]
Vinod?

332
00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:47,447
Ah, Mo and Willa. What a pleasure.

333
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:51,660
Hey, paper! College-ruled
looks good on you.

334
00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:52,786
Yeah.

335
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,579
What happened to you?

336
00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:56,289
I got egged.

337
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,833
Poor, sweet boy. By who?

338
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:02,128
A bully. Want to come get revenge?

339
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,129
Hell, yeah.

340
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,674
Hey, you kids! Not so fast, paper!

341
00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,801
What've you got stuffed
under that costume?

342
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,969
-Just a very charming boy.
-Mm.

343
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,014
Shoplifting is a crime.

344
00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:16,434
Right. We know that's a costume.
You're too hot to be a cop.

345
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:18,645
Thank you! But I am a cop.

346
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,231
And even if I weren't,
you'd still be stealing.

347
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:25,735
Excuse me. Has anyone ever told you
you look like a young Rani Mukherjee

348
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:29,406
with eyes you can get lost in for days?

349
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,075
No, not until right this second, handsome.

350
00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:37,330
Here, you're free to go.
And you know what, here's my badge number.

351
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:40,709
-[chuckles] Call me.
-[kisses]

352
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,377
Oh!

353
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,380
Kamal! Kamal! Kamal!

354
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:47,674
Kamal told you that? He's not that smooth.

355
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,301
He puked on her shoes
and she let us go.

356
00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:53,555
But the real horror story
was happening at the Mills' house.

357
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:56,725
I feel bad that your business
is struggling.

358
00:16:56,808 --> 00:17:00,645
I know I'm the last person
you want advice from, but hear me out.

359
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:04,190
What if you could build your rockets
for a whole lot cheaper?

360
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:08,403
When I rebuilt the Hemi on my truck,
I ordered bootleg parts online.

361
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,988
Pennies on the dollar.

362
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:13,241
Are you suggesting I buy
bootleg rocket parts on the Internet?

363
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:15,493
Pennies. On. The dollar.

364
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,037
Let me tell you how that email would go.

365
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:21,082
"Dear Unnamed Vendor
I Found On the Dark Web,

366
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:24,586
I have an urgent need to purchase
components for innocent space travel

367
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,629
that could easily be mistaken
as components

368
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:30,175
for weapons of mass destruction.
Please, accept my payment in Bitcoin,

369
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,719
and mail all parts
directly to my home address

370
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:35,638
where I will be awaiting my arrest
and execution.

371
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:40,226
Yours most sincerely,
Mahesh Pradeep, Brown Man in America. "

372
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:44,439
When you put it like that,
it makes me feel like you don't like it.

373
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:48,568
[Sudha] While Mahesh was fixing the party,
I was looking to destroy it.

374
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:51,488
Circuit breaker, circuit breaker...

375
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:55,617
Bingo.

376
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:01,414
A/C, dishwasher, heater...

377
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,583
[breakers clicking]

378
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:06,252
Where is the switch
to turn off the party?

379
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:07,378
Damn it!

380
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:08,713
[intense music]

381
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:11,925
[Stu]
Hello, Phantom.

382
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:12,926
Ooh!

383
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,677
[Stu]
Here comes Christine.

384
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,850
[Sudha] It was my birthday and
I was stuck in a basement

385
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:24,229
with a redneck in a wedding dress.
It couldn't get any worse.

386
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:27,398
S'up, sexy mama?
Come and give me some love.

387
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,484
[Sudha]
I was wrong, it got worse.

388
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:30,693
Come here.

389
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,028
[Sudha]
So much worse.

390
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,989
Oh, I get it. You're
making Christine work for it.

391
00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:37,575
What gives, Bhanu?

392
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:41,788
[Sudha] My nightmare
was about to become his nightmare.

393
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:44,874
Oh, I get it. You're the Phantom,
the Phantom's in charge.

394
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,000
[Sudha]
Mm-hmm.

395
00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:50,213
I'm Christine. I'm an innocent virgin
who's down to pound.

396
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:52,340
Take me, Phantom, take me now.

397
00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:53,967
[Sudha]
Mm-mm.

398
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:57,053
You kidding me?
I shaved my pits for this.

399
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,181
I thought you finally wanted
to make sweet, sweet love.

400
00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,058
[Sudha gags]

401
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,685
Why'd you even get baptized?

402
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:08,064
To discover Stu made your daughter
get baptized,

403
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,359
just to have sex
on your birthday, of all days,

404
00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:14,821
must've made you want to kill Stu
right then and there.

405
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,323
Why kill the fish
when you can poison the lake?

406
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,158
Is that an Indian proverb?

407
00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:20,243
No.

408
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,328
I call that a Sudha-ism.

409
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,455
-Can I use it?
-No.

410
00:19:24,539 --> 00:19:28,626
But with Stu, I didn't need Sudha-isms.
He did all the work, himself.

411
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,420
Do you even like me anymore?

412
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,589
[Sudha]
This was getting better and better.

413
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,717
-You breaking up with me?
-It was too good to be true.

414
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,845
-There's someone else, isn't there?
-[Sudha] He was such a moron.

415
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,346
Could I be a Ninja?

416
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:42,682
He couldn't stay on topic
to save his life.

417
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:44,392
Can I get my flannels back?

418
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:47,145
You know what, I don't care.
Keep my flannels.

419
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:50,064
I got hotties lined up
around the block for me.

420
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:53,735
Today, at the Waffle House,
the waitress gave me extra syrup. So.

421
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,450
Phantom!

422
00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:02,869
["Dragula" by Rob Zombie]

423
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,705
[Vinod] The Pradeep kids
were out in force that night.

424
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:08,666
with vengeance in our eyes
and eggs in our hands.

425
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:10,668
We were gonna get that bully good.

426
00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:12,086
Let's do this!

427
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:16,758
♪ Dead I am the one
Exterminating son ♪

428
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:20,929
♪ Slipping through the trees
Strangling the breeze ♪

429
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:22,430
That was really mean!

430
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:24,474
[laughs]

431
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,894
You've taught me a lesson.
I'm gonna rethink my life.

432
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,063
[door closes]

433
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,023
[laughs]

434
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:36,819
Bhanu, my loyal sister, thank you
for honoring the sacred oath of the rakhi.

435
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:41,741
And Kamal, my peculiar brother, thank you
for risking salmonella to help me.

436
00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:43,910
Group hug?

437
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,664
Kamal, you need to
take more showers.

438
00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:51,042
Boom! I won the big "I. "

439
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,794
You think a hug is incest?

440
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:55,630
I know it's desperate,
I just really need the win.

441
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:58,549
I'll give you something better. Incest.

442
00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:01,928
Mahesh had no idea
Sudha had gone to the party.

443
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:06,432
Sudha, high off her victory over Stu
wanted to celebrate with a little S&M,

444
00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,976
Sudha and Mahesh.

445
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:09,978
[Sudha]
Ooh! [laughs]

446
00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:11,646
I'm sorry, madam, I'm taken.

447
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:12,855
So am I.

448
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:17,443
Sudha! Is that you?
What are you doing here?

449
00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:19,320
Just shut up and kiss me.

450
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,739
[dramatic music]

451
00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:25,535
-[Stu] Holy hell!
-[record scratches as music stops]

452
00:21:27,078 --> 00:21:28,871
Bhanu, are you banging your dad?!

453
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:29,956
[guests gasp]

454
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:34,711
Bhanu? What's he talking about?

455
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:38,464
And he was worried about going to jail
for online rocket parts.

456
00:21:38,548 --> 00:21:40,550
Honestly, I wish I was more shocked.

457
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,386
This is what happens
when your Jesus is a cow.

458
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:44,846
[electrical popping]

459
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:47,015
-Oh, God. It's surging.
-[guests exclaiming]

460
00:21:47,098 --> 00:21:50,143
Don't touch any wires.
It's very dangerous.

461
00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:52,687
Jimbo, they're ruining my party.

462
00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:54,105
[electrical zapping]

463
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,025
It's the Phantom's fault!

464
00:21:57,108 --> 00:21:59,277
-[Sudha laughs evilly]
-[electrical zapping]

465
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:00,903
[Janice]
They vanished!

466
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:04,282
-[Sudha] What a rush!
-Why did you drag me out of there?

467
00:22:04,365 --> 00:22:06,492
Now everyone thinks
I'm an incestuous pervert

468
00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:08,369
who also does shoddy electrical work.

469
00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:10,413
Which one are you more upset by?

470
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:14,542
I don't know. I've been an engineer
longer than I've been a father.

471
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:17,837
Bhanu and Stu are through,
thanks to me!

472
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,131
Sudha, you've gone way too far.

473
00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:21,883
This is the best birthday gift.

474
00:22:21,966 --> 00:22:24,594
I was so wrong. I love Halloween.

475
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:25,845
[Mahesh]
This is madness.

476
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:28,556
Bhanu's gonna clear it up
the second she sees Stu.

477
00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:32,018
It doesn't matter. Every time
he even thinks of touching her,

478
00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:35,897
he's gonna picture her kissing you!
How disgusting is that?

479
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:40,777
I've haunted him, Mahesh.
I've haunted him forever.

480
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,571
That's crazy, even for you.

481
00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:44,739
[sighs]

482
00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:49,744
I was desperate.
I tried everything to protect Bhanu.

483
00:22:49,827 --> 00:22:51,704
Even [indistinct].

484
00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:56,042
Maybe it is crazy, but I don't want her
to get hurt by Stu.

485
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,794
What if he doesn't hurt her?

486
00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:00,797
What if he does?
I could never forgive myself.

487
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:05,009
I love how much you want to protect her,
and I do, too.

488
00:23:05,093 --> 00:23:07,929
But we have to let Bhanu
make her own mistakes.

489
00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:12,225
Let her touch the stove
to learn that it's hot.

490
00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:19,315
And that's the tale of incest.

491
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:24,028
Well, I guess the Pradeep parents weren't
the monsters Janice painted 'em out to be.

492
00:23:24,112 --> 00:23:27,240
The kids, however,
are much bigger monsters than we thought.

493
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,991
You said the hug was nothing.

494
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:31,786
The hug never happened. They lied to you.

495
00:23:31,869 --> 00:23:34,705
But I found some interesting Ring footage
from that night.

496
00:23:34,789 --> 00:23:36,541
[Dark Suit]
Ring footage? From where?

497
00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:38,334
From that bully's house.

498
00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:41,003
Whoa! Creepy.

499
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:43,840
Is that... Greg the garbage man?

500
00:23:43,923 --> 00:23:46,217
[Light Suit]
Yep! And Greg's dropping a load.

501
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:47,969
[crashing]

502
00:23:50,972 --> 00:23:53,224
Hey, Greg. Thanks for helping me.

503
00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:58,062
Glad to. You know, these people suck.

504
00:23:58,146 --> 00:23:59,522
They don't separate their recycling

505
00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:02,191
and they throw out
an alarming number of dead pets.

506
00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:05,820
Oh, no. I thought you'd be dressed
as someone from Star Trek.

507
00:24:05,903 --> 00:24:09,240
Oh, I am. A little Trek trivia for you...

508
00:24:09,323 --> 00:24:10,449
Mm-hmm.

509
00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:13,703
The Michael Myers mask
is William Shatner.

510
00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:14,912
-Oh.
-Yep.

511
00:24:14,996 --> 00:24:16,539
Mr. Shat, himself.

512
00:24:16,622 --> 00:24:17,790
[laugh]

513
00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:19,292
Happy Halloween, little V.

514
00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,794
Aye-aye, thanks, Greg.
Get ready, everyone!

515
00:24:21,878 --> 00:24:23,296
[Willa]
We're in position.

516
00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:24,714
[doorbell rings]

517
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:26,674
Move those sweet chocolatey treats, Vinod!

518
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:28,968
Here he comes! Here he comes!

519
00:24:29,051 --> 00:24:31,596
What... What's with all this garbage?

520
00:24:31,679 --> 00:24:33,723
-Rock, paper, scissors...
-Shoot!

521
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:37,935
[laughs] You missed!

522
00:24:38,019 --> 00:24:40,938
Now, I'm gonna end you.

523
00:24:41,022 --> 00:24:42,815
-[Bhanu] Guess again!
-[Bully] Oh, crap!

524
00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:47,403
Mommy! Stop! Stop!
Okay, I'm allergic to egg whites!

525
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:49,238
It's why I've never been vaccinated!

526
00:24:49,322 --> 00:24:50,990
That's for calling us names!

527
00:24:51,073 --> 00:24:53,618
-Like cane boy!
-And three-peat!

528
00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:54,702
And dot-heads!

529
00:24:54,785 --> 00:24:57,330
Here's a lesson. It's called karma.

530
00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:59,081
That's dot-head for "fuck you!"

531
00:24:59,165 --> 00:25:00,082
Ohh!

532
00:25:00,166 --> 00:25:02,919
Look at them.
They're like Children of the Corn.

533
00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:07,215
That was hard to watch.
Fish-eye lenses make me woozy.

534
00:25:07,298 --> 00:25:09,592
Those Pradeep kids
really have each other's backs.

535
00:25:09,675 --> 00:25:12,678
You have no idea.
They're bound together by a magic string.

536
00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:14,347
-Magic string?
-Yeah.

537
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:17,391
You need something to eat.
Get yourself a Snickers.

538
00:25:17,475 --> 00:25:20,770
I'm just saying there's nothing
they wouldn't do to protect each other.

539
00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:24,982
Wait a minute. Maybe egging the bully
was just a dry run for something bigger.

540
00:25:25,066 --> 00:25:27,235
Like burning down the Mills' house.

541
00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:31,697
Gosh, after getting to know the Pradeeps,
I really hope they're not guilty.

542
00:25:31,781 --> 00:25:34,367
It'd be a shame to deport 'em.
Especially Vinod.

543
00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:36,369
I found this drawing under his chair.

544
00:25:36,452 --> 00:25:38,704
Look how much
that guy loves it here.

545
00:25:38,788 --> 00:25:41,749
Cute. But don't let that
cloud your judgment.

546
00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:44,126
A lot of psychopaths doodle.

547
00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:46,921
Hitler. John Wayne Gacy. My ex.

548
00:25:47,004 --> 00:25:52,009
Plus, I think Vinod is Linda Hunt
posing as an Indian boy.

549
00:25:52,093 --> 00:25:53,427
Nothing else makes sense.

550
00:25:54,804 --> 00:25:56,847
[soft guitar music]

551
00:25:56,931 --> 00:26:00,726
This is the best birthday
I could wish for.

552
00:26:00,810 --> 00:26:02,520
And it's about to get better.

553
00:26:04,313 --> 00:26:07,441
[gasps] Sudha Pradeep,
co-president?

554
00:26:07,525 --> 00:26:09,193
It's perfect!

555
00:26:09,277 --> 00:26:13,406
Uh, hello? Why is my Phantom mask
on the floor?

556
00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:18,244
Uh, because I... because it, um...
Help out your co-president.

557
00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:21,330
Because I know you want to go out,
and you can.

558
00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:24,041
-After cake.
-[Bhanu] Really?

559
00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:26,294
But, uh, Mahesh, no.

560
00:26:26,377 --> 00:26:29,255
Let her touch the stove.
It's how she'll learn.

561
00:26:31,674 --> 00:26:32,883
Happy Halloween!

562
00:26:32,967 --> 00:26:34,051
[Bhanu]
Yes!

563
00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:39,098
Finally free. It's on! Heart, peach.

564
00:26:39,181 --> 00:26:42,184
[Stu]
Sloppy daddy seconds? [gags] Pass.

565
00:26:42,268 --> 00:26:43,352
[Bhanu]
What??

566
00:26:43,436 --> 00:26:45,980
[Stu]
Don't text me again. You're blocked.

567
00:26:47,023 --> 00:26:50,151
-[Mahesh] Try some cake, my love.
-[Sudha] Oh, Mahesh.

568
00:26:50,234 --> 00:26:53,195
[intense music]

569
00:26:53,279 --> 00:26:55,281
What have they done?

570
00:26:57,408 --> 00:26:59,118
What have they done?

571
00:27:01,704 --> 00:27:04,540
[Kamal]
♪ My two favorite ladies ♪

572
00:27:04,623 --> 00:27:06,751
♪ I love them very much ♪

573
00:27:06,834 --> 00:27:10,338
♪ But my mother is my mother ♪

574
00:27:10,421 --> 00:27:15,384
♪ And she feeds me
'Cause she's my mother ♪

575
00:27:15,468 --> 00:27:17,011
[Sudha]
Kamal, go to bed!

576
00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:18,888
[Vinod]
But take a shower first!

577
00:27:20,890 --> 00:27:21,891
END CREDITS

578
00:28:21,951 --> 00:28:23,911
[Kamal]
Next, on The Pradeeps of Pittsburgh...

579
00:28:23,994 --> 00:28:27,039
I hear Janice Mills
tried to flunk you out of school.

580
00:28:27,123 --> 00:28:29,250
Looks like he's getting a... C.

581
00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:30,501
The Indian F.

582
00:28:30,584 --> 00:28:32,962
I had Mrs. Mills,
she never graded this hard.

583
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:35,256
It's almost like she has
a personal vendetta.

584
00:28:35,339 --> 00:28:37,883
I didn't know he was
an Internet celebrity.

585
00:28:37,967 --> 00:28:39,927
Press that "like" button. Stu's out!

586
00:28:40,010 --> 00:28:41,178
What a [indistinct].

587
00:28:41,262 --> 00:28:42,388
Stu! Stu! Stu!

588
00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:45,141
If you want to date Stu Mills,
date Stu Mills.

589
00:28:45,224 --> 00:28:46,934
-[zips]
-Aah!

590
00:28:47,017 --> 00:28:48,352
Ew, his nuts!