[kooky music]
*
- [snoring]
[alarm rings]
[ringing stops]
- IT'S QUITTING TIME, SPONGEBOB.
GO HOME.
- HMM.
- QUIT-TING TIME!
- [sniffs]
- GO HOME!
[watch beeps]
- OH, MY. IT'S TIME TO GO HOME.
SQUIDWARD, WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?
- [frustrated scream]
- WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU?
I CAN'T THROW YOU AWAY.
[giggles]
[horn honks]
BLEH!
[flies buzzing]
BUT I DO HAVE TO THROW AWAY THE TRASH.
[loud breathing]
WHAT'S THIS?
SOMEONE THREW AWAY A BOOK.
YOU SHOULDN'T THROW AWAY BOOKS.
- [growling]
- [screams]
- [growls]
- [teeth chattering]
[grunts]
OH, SANDY? YOU'RE A TRASH MONSTER?
- HECK, NO.
I WAS BREAKING A RECORD
FOR ROOTING AROUND IN A TRASH BIN.
IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE
IN THE GUINNESS O'RIPLEY ENORMOUS BOOK
OF CURIOSITIES, ODDITIES, AND WORLD RECORDS.
LOOKEE HERE, SPONGEBOB.
"STARING RECORD: FIVE DAYS."
"MOST FRIES UP NOSE,
HOLDING YOUR BREATH."
- WOW. - YES, SIREE.
I SWEAR BY THE POWER OF TEXAS,
I'M GOING TO BREAK ALL THE RECORDS IN THIS HERE BOOK!
WHAT'S THE NEXT CHALLENGE?
- LET ME SEE. OOH.
"WORLD'S LONGEST TONGUE."
- WELL, THAT'S EASY.
[stretching sounds]
106, 107...
- HOLD TIGHT, SANDY. [grunts]
- 108, 109, 110.
- THAT'S IT, SANDY. YOU DID IT.
- YEEHAW!
[thud]
- LET'S SEE--YIKES!
SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL.
- IS IT DANGEROUS?
- YEAH, YOU COULD SAY THAT.
YOU HAVE TO EAT AS MUCH CHUM AS YOU CAN.
- CHUM, HUH? THAT'S NOT TOO BAD.
- RAW.
- RAW? [gulps]
- YOU WANT WHAT?
- ONE ORDER OF CHUM PLEASE. - RAW.
- LOOK, I KNOW I'M AN EVIL, HEARTLESS MASTERMIND,
BUT NO ONE CAN INGEST RAW CHUM AND SURVIVE.
- OH, YEAH?
WELL, CHARLIE MACKEREL, THE CURRENT RECORD HOLDER DID.
- REALLY?
- FOR 30 SECONDS.
- WELL, IT'S YOUR FUNERAL.
[wheels squeaking]
- OKAY, SANDY. EAT UP.
[chum wheezes]
- UH, SPONGEBOB, I'VE CHANGED MY--
[groans]
[gulps]
[screams]
[panting]
[monstrous grunting]
WORLD! RECORD!
[beeping]
- SANDY, YOU DID IT. YOU SURVIVED.
- AH!
- UH-OH. HOLD ON, SANDY.
I KNOW JUST WHAT YOU NEED.
[inhales]
A KRABBY PATTY.
[bell dings]
[rooster crows] - [coughs, gasps]
I DID IT! I'M ALIVE.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW THEM EXPERTS
THE PICTURES OF MY RECORD-BREAKING FEATS.
- OH, NO. I FORGOT MY CAMERA.
- WHAT? SPONGEBOB!
I NEED PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF OF MY AMAZING DEEDS.
- I'LL GO GET THE CAMERA.
- WELL, HURRY UP. I'VE GOT RECORD-BREAKING TO DO.
- OH, MY.
[robots beeping]
- GOT YOUR CAMERA?
- YOU BETCHA.
- GREAT.
TAKE A PICTURE OF ME CHUCKING THIS LAST WOODCHUCK
TO BREAK THE WOODCHUCK CHUCKING WORLD RECORD.
READY, COUSIN EARL?
- LET HER RIP, DARLIN'!
- [grunts]
- [robotic voice] 100 WOODCHUCKS CHUCKED.
RECORD BROKEN.
- THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP, COUSINS.
[chattering]
- ANYTIME. - SEE YOU ALL NEXT CHRISTMAS.
BYE.
- WOW, SANDY. WHAT IS ALL THIS?
- I'VE DECIDED TO GO ABOUT THIS SCIENTIFICALLY.
I FEEL WITH CAREFUL PLANNING AND PRECISE DELEGATION
OF APPROPRIATE TASKS,
I CAN MANAGE THE SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION
OF THE MAXIMUM NUMBER OF RECORDS BROKEN
IN THE LEAST AMOUNT OF TIME.
BOOK.
PICTURE.
- HERE YOU GO.
- THANK YOU.
[giggles]
SO WHAT'S NEXT?
OH, YEAH. "LONGEST TOOTH."
HOW'S THE CALCIUM INFUSION GOING?
IT IS READY, MS. CHEEKS.
- OUTSTANDING.
HERE. HOLD THIS.
[squirts]
[groans]
[thud]
HOW DID I DO?
- PLEASE HOLD THIS END.
35 FEET.
RECORD BROKEN.
[thud]
- OUCH.
[thud]
- TAKE A PICTURE.
- SAY, "CHEESE."
- CHEESE.
[camera shutter clicks]
PICTURE. - HERE YOU GO.
- THANK YOU.
NEXT, "SPICIEST CHILI GARGLE."
[chili bubbling]
[gulping]
[gargling]
[gulps] - GOT IT.
YOU OKAY?
[stomach rumbling]
[shouts]
- [sniffs]
DO YOU SMELL SOUP?
- WHAT'S NEXT?
- "LARGEST RUBBER BAND BALL."
[camera shutter clicks]
[rubber band snaps]
- WHOO-HOO! WHAT'S NEXT?
- "MOST COBRAS MILKED."
- [giggles] SAY, "CHEESE."
- CHEESE.
- [gasps] NICE SNAKES.
[choking]
- NEXT?
- "MOST WALNUTS IN MOUTH."
- JUST ONE MORE.
OH, NO.
[shouts]
NEXT!
- "MOST CHAIN SAWS JUGGLED."
[chain saws buzzing]
- OKAY, SHOOT.
- GOT IT. SO, UH, HOW DO YOU STOP?
- WHAT? - I SAID, "HOW DO YOU STOP?"
- WHAT? - HOW DO YOU STOP?
- WHY, THAT'S EASY. I JUST...
[grunts] STOP.
THEN RUN LIKE HECK.
NOT THAT WAY.
COME ON, SPONGEBOB. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.
WE'VE STILL GOT A TON OF RECORDS TO BREAK.
OH, YEAH. YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS ONE.
- I DON'T KNOW, SANDY.
THIS IS GETTING KIND OF DANGEROUS.
- COME ON, YOU DON'T NEED YOUR HELMET.
THIS ONE'S OUTSIDE. FOLLOW ME.
- OH, MY. - THERE IT IS.
THE WORLD'S LARGEST HOUSE OF CARDS.
- THAT'S AMAZING.
GET IN FRONT SO I CAN TAKE A PICTURE.
- NAH. LET'S GET A SHOT FROM THE TOP.
[elevator bell dings]
- WHAT THE--?
OH, HEY.
IT'S SOLITAIRE.
I LOVE THIS GAME! [laughs]
HEY, I KICK A TOUCHDOWN!
[cards jingling]
[both screaming]
- WHAT'S NEXT?
- UM, I THINK I SMELL GARY'S SANDBOX.
GOT TO GO CLEAN IT.
NOW.
I THINK YOU BROKE A RECORD TODAY, GARY.
WORLD'S STINKIEST LITTER BOX. EWW.
OOH.
I'M WORRIED ABOUT SANDY.
SHE'S GOT RECORD-BREAKING FEVER.
[Gary meows]
YOU'RE RIGHT. SHE DOES NEED MY HELP.
I MUST STOP THIS MADNESS!
IT'S ALL THAT BOOK'S FAULT.
THE BOOK IS EVIL.
THE BOOK MUST BE DESTROYED!
[electricity crackles]
[robot beeping]
[robotic voice] WHY DON'T YOU TAKE FIVE?
I WILL HOLD THE BOOK.
- THANK NEPTUNE'S GEARS.
MY WHEELS ARE KILLING ME.
- HEY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
GET BACK IN LINE.
I NEED EVERY AVAILABLE ROBOT FOR THIS ONE.
MOST ROBOTS BUILT AND DESTROYED IN A DAY.
[crushing sounds]
- 656.
[crushing sounds] 657.
OH, THE ARTIFICIAL HUMANITY.
- OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
- [screams]
[bell dings]
- 679. RECORD BROKEN. - [squealing]
[bell dings]
OKAY. SHUT HER DOWN.
- OH, MY-- - WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
- MY STOMACH FEELS FUNNY. - WELL, LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
SPONGEBOB? - OH, HI, SANDY.
- [groans]
- SPONGEBOB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M HERE TO SAVE YOU FROM--FROM THIS BOOK.
I'M GOING TO DESTROY IT BEFORE SOMEONE GETS KILLED.
I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU, SANDY.
[crying] I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU!
- OH, DON'T BE SILLY, SPONGEBOB. I'M DONE WITH THAT BOOK.
I BEAT EVERY RECORD IN HERE.
IN FACT, I'VE INVITED THE AUTHOR TO VERIFY
MY EMINENCE.
- THANK YOU. HMM.
YES. OH, MY.
I SEE. WELL, THEN.
I'M AFRAID YOU'VE BROKEN NO RECORDS.
both: HUH? - THIS BOOK IS 30 YEARS OLD.
THESE RECORDS WERE BROKEN AGES AGO.
YOU, HOWEVER, HAVE SET A BRAND-NEW RECORD.
MOST INJURIES SUSTAINED WHILE HELPING A FRIEND.
- GOOD FOR YOU, SPONGEBOB.
[shatters]
- UM, HOORAY.
- SAY, "CHEESE." [camera shutter clicks]