?Are you ready, kids
:Kids !Aye, aye, Captain
.I can't hear you
:[louder ] !Aye, aye, Captain
♪ ...Oh
♪ Who lives in a pineapple ?under the sea ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ Absorbent and yellow .and porous is he ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ If nautical nonsense be ...something you wish ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ Then drop on the deck .and flop like a fish ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪
♪ ?Ready !SpongeBob SquarePants ♪
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants
[laughs heartily ]
Captioning sponsored by THE] [U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION[ plays airy tune
[and NICKELODEON
:SANDY ...You know, SpongeBob
sometimes it's nice to hang up my hang glider
and just watch the clouds .roll by
.Yep. And just relax
...Yeah
.relax
!Ooh! Ooh! Ooh You know what that ?cloud looks like
?What
.A flower
,They all look like flowers .SpongeBob... all the time
.They sure do
You know, normally I'd offer to race you
to the top of Coral Cliffs
but I don't want to miss out
on a second of this .beautiful beauty
.Me either
Who wants to get ?all dirty anyway
.Yeah... and sweaty
Besides, I think we know .who'd get to the top first
.Yeah
[both laugh ]
:BOTH .Me
.That's funny, Sandy
It sounded like you said
you could beat me .in a climbing contest
!'Course I can
!I'm a squirrel
!See
I thought that meant .you were nuts
Nope. It means I'm !a natural born climber
I'm from the surface world
and nothing prepares you for climbing
like growing up .on good old dry land
[laughs ]
!Land-shmand
It's all about .finger strength, baby
And if there's anything we've got plenty of down here
.it's finger strength
[grunting ]
,What do you say to that ?Miss Mittens
I say I'm already !halfway there
!Aah
[panting ]
[grunting ]
!No fair, Sandy
!You got a head start
!Sorry, SpongeBob
That's the way !the coral crumbles
!Hey
!Ohh
!You did that on purpose
.Yeah, but this is a accident
!Aah
Too bad you forgot .your umbrella
♪ !...I didn't
[laughing ]
Well, it's about time .you showed up
...But you were ...I saw you... I
!I want a rematch
First one to the Krusty Krab .is the winner
Ain't no way a sea critter
can run faster !than a land critter
.I can underwater
...I'm
!hydrodynamically designed
Think you can win a fair race
in that clunky ?tin tube
Why don't you ask ?my be-hind
...That is .if you can catch it
,What do you say to that ?Hydropants
I say, I'm already ...halfway there
...halfway there
!Hey
[laughing ]
!Thanks for the face lift
[laughing ]
You see, I told you ...you didn't have a
!There you are
Ain't that just like a land creature
...to keep a sea creature
!waiting...
[laughing ]
I thought y'all !wanted a rematch
I did! And I took !a head start like you did
I was just funnin' !with ya that time
But I guess all y'all underwater !don't have to play fair
,I guess we don't !air breather
!Water sucker
!Tree climber
.Gulf streamer
!Kite flier
!Chum chewer
[gasps ]
...Take that back, you .not... wet... person
Aha! You can't even come up !with another name
!That proves it
?Proves what
That land critters are .better than sea critters
?Better at what
,Oh, durn near everything .I guess
Cattle ropin and pie eatin' and wood choppin'
.and flyin'
What's she ?blabbering about
She says land creatures .are best
Only 'cause .it's true
We're best at horseridin' .and fur stylin' and rowin'
Y'all got us licked in swimmin'
but we got corn shuckin'
and hay bailin' and barn raisin'
!and... fishin'
[all gasp ]
And name callin' .fer sure
!And drowning !Don't forget drowning
[laughs ]
!Good one, Squidward !Whoo
,Not on your life .sport
.I'll admit
You've got some pretty .good moves, for a squirrel
[...all laughing ]
[laughter stops ]
But you're still .just a land creature
Squirrels can do !anything they want to
I bet you can't eat a Krabby .Double Deluxe in one bite
[gulps ]
...Ah
!Give me that
They don't call me Cheeks .for nothin'
[all laugh ]
.Well, that's just one thing
?Can you do this
Everyone in my family !can do that
...Uh... uh
?How about this, huh
?Can you reproduce by budding
?Can ya
!No
Most importantly
?can you do this
[gasping ]
Well, what would I want to do
any of that dumb stuff ?for anyway
--Admit it, Sandy
you can't do anything !us sea creatures can do
In fact, if it wasn't for that suit
you couldn't even !live down here
[laughing ]
...Well, you don't
[laughing ]
...I don't need to
[laughing ]
...Grr
!I'll show y'all
!I don't need this suit
!Yah
[all gasp ]
And I don't need !this helmet neither
!Neptune preserve her
How long can she ?stay like that
.I don't know
?Sandy's a girl
.Wow, Sandy
.You sure proved us wrong
I guess land creatures .are better
At least, until they need ...to breathe
[all chuckle ]
.Yep, won't be long now
[groans ]
?Feeling lightheaded yet
:[groans ] .Uh-uh
?Remember this
[breathing deeply ]
:KRABS !It's free
[breathing deeply ]
[...groaning ]
[gasps, gurgles ]
[gasping ]
[others laughing ]
!Stop laughin' at me
!I knew it
There was no way "some "airhead
was going to win anything !against a water breather
...Airhead
[laughs ]
?Huh
:ALL !...Sea creatures rule
!Water! Water! Water
,All right .all right
You had your .little laugh
But now !it's my turn
Y'all think you're ?such hot stuff, don't ya
Swimmin' around with !your fancy gills 'n such
But none of you wet heads .would last a minute on my turf
!Dry land
Do we have to wear ?pickle jars
[all laugh ]
Nope, nothin' but the clothes !on your backs
?One minute !No problem... landy
[all laugh ]
[continue laughing ]
?Well, so are you going or not
:ALL ...Uh... well... we... uh
...Actually... uh ...you know... uh
...We can't... uh ...because
We're... late ...for... um
!Our fitting
Oh, you mean ?for your chicken costumes
[gulps ]
!Hey... we are not chicken
!gasps] My popcorn ]
,Yeah, we're not chicken .we'll do it
!There! Mission accomplished
Look, unless you can stay above water for one measly minute
you forfeit the contest
and prove that land creatures !are better than sea creatures
.No way, San-day
We can take on .your challenge
:OTHERS !Yeah
We're not afraid of .your dumb old land
:OTHERS !Yeah
!We're sea creatures
:ALL !Yeah
.Okay
.Well, this is it
!Wait, boy
.Make it last
[gulping ]
.Thanks, Mr. Krabs
...Okay
[gulps ]
!Here I go
[gasping ]
[breathing more easily ]
!Hey... this isn't so bad
!We can do this
!Hey, Patrick, come on up
!The air is fine
I'm gonna do it quick .and get it over with
!...Cannonball
!Hey, I lost my trunks
!Hi, SpongeBob
!All right, Pat !You made it
!Mr. Krabs
,Come on up !Mr. Krabs
,All ashore that's goin' ashore !Mr. Squidward
!Land... ho
,Lookin' good !Mr. Krabs
!Yeah, whoo-hoo
,Come on !Squidward
You're missing .all the dry
,Come on !Squidward
:ALL !Squidward! Squidward
...Well, I'll do it .but I won't like it
...Squidward! Squidward! Squid
?What
!Well, here we are
:SQUIDWARD !This is pretty easy
:PATRICK I may keep a second rock !up here
:KRABS ,Once you get your land legs !it's not so bad
We're the masters
!of land and sea
!Hey, it's a local. Hi
!We're from underwater
?Do you know Sandy Cheeks
...Three, two, one
!Well, tan my fur
!They made it
!Better go congratulate them
?SpongeBob
?Patrick
Hmm, where did those ?critters get to
[all screaming ]
!Holy Guacamole
,You can't eat my friends !you rats with wings
!Hi-yah
[grunting and karate-yelling ]
[splash ]
Uh, thanks for .saving us, Sandy
You know everyone's .best at something
But no one's best .at everything
Sorry I made you take off .your helmet, Sandy
Sorry I made you go up .on dry land, SpongeBob
Three cheers for feeling !sorry for ourselves
...Hip-hip
:ALL !Hooray
...Hip-hip
:ALL !Hooray
...Hip-hip
:BOTH ...Hooray
:NARRATOR Ah... the Bikini Bottom Zoo .is having its annual free day
...Free balloons
...free drinks
?free light bulbs
!Aha
!Top 'o the mornin', boys
[laughs nervously ]
.Whew! Next stop.. gift shop
--There it is .Oyster Stadium
Not only do they have
the largest oyster held in captivity
.it also does tricks
:[dramatic voice ] He spits a giant pearl
100 feet in the air
!like a cannon ball
Why are we hanging around !?watching a cheap imitation
!Let's get over there
:BOTH This is the greatest day !of our lives
[...snoring and gurgling ]
This is the greatest ?day of our lives
.Boring
,You're right, Patrick ...we came to see
!pearls 100 feet in the air ?Right
.I'll try my oyster call
[...gibbering and trilling ]
.Well, I'm outta here
,Thanks for nothin' .SpongeBob
[snoring and gurgling ]
,Come on, come on !wake up already
[grunts ]
[gurgling ]
!I think it's working
[gurgling ]
[grunting anxiously ]
!Hey, Patrick, it's waking up
?Oh boy, did I miss it
No, the show's ...about to begin
[whimpering ]
[...wailing loudly ]
What's wrong ?with Clamu
[...wailing ]
,Easy, girl, it's me ?Joe, remember
[snarling ]
[screaming ]
!Now, this is a show
:[.MAN [ on p.a .Attention, zoo patrons
Clamu The Giant Oyster !is on an emotional rampage
Please scream and .run around in circles
[all scream ]
.Thanks for coming
[...snarling and wailing ]
You boys better get !out of this area, pronto
There's nothing more dangerous
than an emotionally .disturbed oyster
You didn't do anything
that might have caused ?this tragedy, did you
...Uh
No way! Only a jerk .would upset a gentle giant
?Right, SpongeBob
.Right
[...wailing ]
:PATRICK Man, if I ever see the guy who upset Clamu
I'd have a few choice words ...for him, like
..."you"... and... "are" "!and... "a jerk
Are you sure you didn't see ?anything suspicious
,I already said I didn't !Patrick, sheesh
Hey, lets investigate this crime
and catch the lowlife .who's responsible
!Give it a rest, Patrick
There's no crime to investigate
!Now go home
...Stupid Patrick !I didn't do anything wrong
Aw, what am I getting ?so worked up about
I'm sure that by tomorrow
this whole ugly mess will be a funny memory [chuckles ]
Our top story :tonight
giant oyster has !its feelings hurt
The only clue that could be found
!was this lone peanut
,And as you can hear the oyster continues
to emit its horrible cry
A cry so powerful, it can be heard around the world
A cry that not only breaks the sound barrier
it breaks the hearts !of our citizens
,What kind of cruel careless, evil person
would deliberately upset one of ?Neptune's most gentle creatures
[meows ]
!Aah
No, Gary! How would I know ?anything about the oyster
[meows ]
Defensive? I'm not !being defensive
,Barnacles! What is this ?20 questions or something
[...Clamu wailing ]
This is getting .a little out of hand
.All I did was throw a peanut
I didn't mean !to make the oyster cry
I just wanted to see it !perform spectacular stunts
!Aw, everyone's going to hate me
.I, I need some advice
...Now, let's see now
who could never hate me ?no matter what I do
!Squidward
!Squidward! Oh Squidward
SpongeBob! Do you have ?to knock so loudly
!Sorry, neighbor
Oh... that overgrown clam
is giving me !a headache
I can't even take my afternoon !beauty nap
[laughs nervously ]
Funny thing you should mention that old oyster
...Because I... uh ...was kind wondering, um
Let's say I know this guy
who may have something .to do with the oyster
!?You know the guy who did it
[gulps ]
!Oh, this is great
You and I can go !turn him in
,And then I'll get so much sleep !I'll be gorgeous
...Um, actually, I .I'm just talking hypothetically
You don't ?know who did it
!Well, um, I, uh, no
?Squidward
!Gotcha
!Aah
Where were you ?on the day of today
Don't play games !with me, mister
,Hey, Patrick ?what are you doing
!Oh hi, SpongeBob
I'm just continuing my investigation
!of the great Clamu Caper
Um... have you found out ?anything
!Yes
.No, wait... um... no
But this grain of sand looks pretty suspicious
!and so does this rock
And I've got a few questions !for this little piece of grass
,Don't worry, SpongeBob !Patrick's on the case
The truth will be !revealed
,I'd better go see Sandy !she'll know what to do
!Clamu wailing...]Ohh, I can't stand it anymore ]
,That poor !poor critter
What kind of inconsiderate person
would upset ?such a gentle creature
Uh, that's kind of what I ...wanted to talk to you about
Why, when I find out who caused that oyster so much pain
!No more jiggery pokery
[grunting ]
Now, what was it you wanted ?to talk about, SpongeBob
[gibbering ]
Hey, SpongeBob, how come ?you're all twitchy like that
?Twitchy? Twitchy ?Who's twitchy
!I'm not twitchy
,Sorry, Sandy ...I have to um, um
.go get my hair cut
...SpongeBob doesn't have hair
?or does he
[panting and whimpering ]
!Hey, SpongeBob
!This is it
All of the clues !are coming together
I followed these footprints right to this exact spot
and then, right ...where you're standing
I found this bag !of peanuts! Ha
Oh, I'm so close to solving this crime
!I can almost taste it
...Mmm
Boy, crime-fighting sure makes me hungry
and this yellow popsicle !hits the spot
Okay, uh, good luck with all that, Patrick
...and, uh !I'll see you later
[chattering and whimpering ]
:MAN !Open up !This is the police
!Uh, uh, just a second
?Are you SpongeBob SquarePants
?Y-y-yes
Put those eyeballs .back in your head, son
We've got a few .questions for you
Were you at the zoo
on the day of the ?oyster incident
!Um, um, um, yes
Did you, or did you not take part
in various activities ?of zoo-time merriment
...Yes
...And are you familiar with ?this peanut
!Yes
...Just one more question
Is it true that you were at the oyster's lair
?with a Mr. Patrick Star
:[crying ] !Yes! Yes! It's true
!It's all true
,The merriment ...the peanut
!the Patrick
!That's all we need to know, son
!Let's book him
!Wow, you guys are good
I'm the last person I would have suspected
but I was looking for me !all the time
!It's the perfect crime
Yeah, yeah, tell it !to the judge, pinky
Oh no! Patrick's too sensitive !for the big house
[siren wailing ]
!Wait, stop
!I'm the one you want
!I am the criminal
[...crowd yelling and booing ]
Hey, everybody, let's throw peanuts at him
!and see how he likes it
[crowd yelling ]
!I get what I deserve
[gulping ]
!Ouch
[crowd booing ]
!Wait
!Hold your peanuts
!Patrick Star is innocent
I have come here !to reveal the truth
They say that truth and honesty
will be rewarded !with trust and forgiveness
humming ] [...dramatic theme
I'm here to lay my cards on the table
to trim the branches of deception from the tree of life
to shave away the unkempt sideburns from the face ...of truth! I
Hey! Just get on !with it
I am the one .who threw the peanut
I know now that what ...I have done is wrong
,and so I say, I am sorry !giant performing oyster
.I am sorry, Patrick
,I am sorry citizens of Bikini Bottom
[Patrick stops humming ]
Hey! Let's throw peanuts !at both of 'em
[crowd yelling ]
.Wait! Here's the real criminal
?Uh... top of the morning
!Mr. Krabs
[crowd gasps ]
!I knew it
Mr. Krabs stole a very important item
!from the oyster
...Behold
[crowd groans in disgust ]
...Wait a minute
!Behold
!The oyster's pearl
[crowd gasps ]
.Here you go, girl
[sniffing ]
[crowd cheering ]
[crowd gasps ]
:[gurgling ] !Mama! Mama
!Mother of pearl
!The oyster's a mother
.And that pearl's no pearl
!It's an egg
:[gurgling ] !Mama! Mama
[gurgling ]
[both gurgling happily ]
:ALL ...Aw
!But it's... free day
[crowd yelling ]
and NICKELODEON
Captioned byThe Caption Center [WGBH Educational Foundation