ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
Kids: AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
AYE AYE, CAPTAIN!
* OH...
* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *
* ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE *
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *
* IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH *
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *
* THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH *
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *
* READY? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! *
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *
* SPONGEBOB... SQUAREPANTS!
( Captain laughs )
( plays flute tune )
[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
MERMAIDMAN.
FLEET AND FORCEFUL.
WITH ABILITY TO ASSEMBLE AND CHARGE
THE CREATURES OF THE DEEP.
BY THE POWER OF NEPTUNE.
MERMAIDMAN, WITH HIS YOUNG ASSOCIATE BARNACLEBOY
FIGHTS FOR ALL CREATURES THAT LIVE IN THE SEA.
AGAINST THE FORCES OF EVIL.
OH, NO!
THE RAGING WHIRLPOOL.
MERMAIDMAN-- CHAMPION OF THE DEEP.
Together: YEAH!
Spongebob: CHAMPION OF THE DEEP.
Together: YIPPEE!
COME ON, BARNACLEBOY, THERE'S EVIL AFOOT.
LEEPIN' LAMPREYS, MERMAIDMAN.
I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
Spongebob: MERMAIDMAN AND BARNACLEBOY SPOT THEIR ARCH ENEMY--
REFLECTO, UP TO NO GOOD.
SPONGEBOB.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.
DOUGHNUTS.
OOH.
BY THE POWER OF NEPTUNE.
Together: MERMAIDMAN AND BARNACLEBOY, UNITE!
CREATURES OF THE DEEP ASSEMBLE.
( both grunting )
HARDER, BARNACLEBOY.
HERE THEY COME.
( buzzing )
BLAST!
REFLECTO HAS BECOME TOO POWERFUL.
WHAT THE...
OH!
IF REFLECTO IS CUT OFF FROM SUNLIGHT,
HE BECOMES WEAK.
JUMPIN' JELLYFISH, MERMAIDMAN.
HE'S DESTROYING THE SHIELD!
( muttering )
OH!
QUICK, BARNACLEBOY.
BACK TO THE SEACAVE.
RIGHT, MERMAIDMAN.
SPONGEBOB!
SPONGEBOB, OPEN IT UP.
REFLECTO HAS FOUND OUR SECRET LAB.
WHAT WOULD THE REAL MERMAIDMAN DO?
WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM YOURSELF.
ELABORATE, YOU VILE FIEND.
HE AND BARNACLEBOY LIVE IN THE RETIREMENT HOME
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN.
HMM.
THEY MUST BE WORKING UNDERCOVER.
YEAH, NOW PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.
Together: MERMAIDMAN AND BARNACLEBOY, REUNITE!
EXCUSE ME.
I KNOW MERMAIDMAN
IS WORKING UNDERCOVER ON AN IMPORTANT CASE
BUT DO YOU THINK WE COULD SEE HIM?
UNDERCOVER?
YEAH, WELL I'LL SEE
IF THEY CAN TAKE TIME FROM THEIR BUSY SCHEDULE
TO SEE YOU.
( laughing excitedly )
HERE THEY ARE.
RIGHT OVER THERE.
( happily gasping )
TRY NOT TO SURPRISE THEM.
PATRICK, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
MERMAIDMAN AND BARNACLEBOY IN THE FLESH.
HEY, WHO ARE THOSE GUYS?
ARE THEY HERE TO FIX THE T.V.?
( nervous chattering )
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
ARE YOU MERMAIDMAN AND BARNACLEBOY?
WELL, WE USED TO BE, BUT NOW WE'RE RETIRED.
( gasping together )
BUT YOU CAN'T RETIRE.
THERE'S EVIL AFOOT.
WHAT EVIL!
EVIL!
OOH!
BARNACLEBOY! DON'T FORGET THERE'S EVIL.
ALL I SAID IS THERE'S EVIL AFOOT.
EVIL!
EEE... EEE...
WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT.
EVIL.
EVIL, EVIL, EVIL, EVIL.
OH!
DISGRACE!
( door slams shut )
WOW!
MERMAIDMAN AND BARNACLEBOY.
IT'S TOO BAD THEIR OLD.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, PATRICK.
OLD PEOPLE ARE THE GREATEST.
THEY'RE FULL OF WISDOM AND EXPERIENCE.
( ting )
THE WORLD NEEDS MERMAIDMAN AND BARNACLEBOY.
SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE IS IN TROUBLE
AND I WON'T REST
UNTIL MERMAIDMAN AND BARNACLEBOY
ARE OUT OF RETIREMENT.
( fireworks )
OOH, PRETTY LIGHTS.
TO THE MEATLOAF.
TO THE BROCCOLI.
MAKE SURE YOU GIVE EXTRA BROCCOLI TO MY YOUNG WARD.
THE BOY NEEDS HIS VITAMINS.
HERE YOU GO, SON. ( snickering )
TO THE TABLE-- AWAY!
CAREFUL, DON'T RUN.
HEY, MERMAIDMAN.
HEY, HERE COMES THE T.V. REPAIRMAN.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?
HOLD ON.
JUST LET ME LOOK AT YOU.
STAY ALERT, BARNACLEBOY.
HE'S, HE'S UP TO SOMETHING.
WOULD YOU STOP CALLING ME BOY?
DO YOU REMEMBER THE TIME THE FOOD SUPPLY IN ATLANTIS
WAS RUNNING LOW?
SO YOU INVENTED A RAY GUN
THAT MADE THINGS GROW SIX TIMES THEIR SIZE
TO SHOOT AT THE KELP GARDENS.
BUT THEN, THE EVIL MAN RAY SWOOPS DOWN
AND SWIPES THE GUN AWAY
AND SHOOTS ALL THE ALGAE.
( imitating ray gun )
AND HE GLOMS ONTO THE UNDERSEA DOME
AND HE STARTS SUCKING ON THE GLASS.
WHAT'S YOUR POINT, KID?
YOU GUYS ARE THE GREATEST HEROES OF ALL TIME.
AND I THINK YOU SHOULD COME OUT OF RETIREMENT.
LISTEN UP.
I WANT TO EAT MY MEATLOAF.
IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF HERE
THEN BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE.
WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?
YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.
( Wedding March playing )
DID YOU REUNITE OUR HEROES?
NO, BUT I'M MARRIED.
UP, UP AND AWAY.
( Southern accent: ) OH, MY.
THIS PURSE IS SO BIG AND HEAVY.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MA'AM.
I'LL BE TAKING THAT.
OH!
HELP! HELP! HELP!
IT'S WORKING.
WHY ARE YOU HERE TO RESCUE LITTLE OLD ME?
PIPE DOWN!
YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE MERMAIDMAN
AND HE'S AWRY WHEN HIS NAP S DISTURBED.
EVER ALERT
MERMAIDMAN TRAINED HIMSELF TO SLEEP WITH HIS EYE OPEN.
GET AWAY FROM HIM.
STOP SHOUTING!
I'M NAPPING.
IT'S NOT ME, YOU OLD COOT.
YES, THAT'S ME.
I'M OVER HERE.
( bickering )
EXCUSE ME.
MERMAIDMAN.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
THIS WILL CHEER YOU UP.
WE'RE ALMOST DONE PAINTING YOUR INVISIBLE BOAT MOBILE.
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE INVISIBLE!
THAT'S IT!
WE GOT TO END OUR LIFE OF LEISURE.
IT'S TIME TO COME OUT OF RETIREMENT.
THERE'S EVIL AFOOT!
EVIL!
WHERE IS IT?
THERE IT IS.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEAN?
DOUGHNUTS.
OH, BROTHER.
( music starts and fades out )
SAY THE OATH.
MERMAIDMAN AND BARNACLEBOY, UNITE!
( music starts again and tune finishes )
THROW A WATER BALL AT HIM.
Together: WATER BALLS! WATER BALLS!
YEAH!
( laughing )
MUMBLING, MORAYS
IT'S NOT WORKING, MERMAIDMAN.
HE'S ABSORBING IT LIKE SOME KIND OF EVIL SPONGE.
Together: DOG PADDLE AWAY!
IT'S THE RAGING WHIRLPOOL!
( Spongebob and Patrick cheering )
YOU FIENDS.
THEY'RE ACTUALLY ENJOYING IT!
( screaming in delight )
Together: DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!
NOW WHAT, MERMAIDMAN.
WE NEED HELP.
Together: SEA CREATURES, UNITE.
HUH! WHAT!
( all mumbling and chattering )
HMM, THE CREATURES OF THE DEEP
SEEMED TO HAVE LOST SOME OF THEIR LUSTER.
SEA CREATURES, ATTACK!
PINCH ME.
I MUST BE DREAMING.
( all mumbling and chattering )
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, PATRICK.
YEAH, WE DID IT.
I DID IT.
I FEEL FIVE YEARS YOUNGER.
OH, IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK.
WE DID IT, YOU OLD COOT.
WHO ARE YOU?
The new adventures of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.
We join our heroes in a battle of wits.
IT'S THE AQUA PHONE.
WHAT IS IT, CHIEF.
HELLO, HELLO.
THAT PHONE IS STILL BROKEN.
REMIND ME TO GET THAT FIXED.
REMIND YOU WHAT?
REMIND ME OF WHAT?
WILL OUR HEROES EVER GET THEIR PHONE FIXED?
Tune in next week and find out.
WOW, THAT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN THE OLD SHOW.
IT'S ALL THANKS TO YOU!
WELCOME TO THE KRUSTY KRAB.
MY NAME IS SQUIDWARD.
CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
HMM, OH, I'LL HAVE A...
NO.
OH, MAYBE...
NO.
HMM, I'LL HAVE...
NO.
WELL MAYBE--
ARE YOU PLANNING ON ORDERING TODAY, SIR?
I'LL HAVE A KRABBY PATTIE.
HOW ORIGINAL.
AND WITH EXTRA ONIONS.
DARING TODAY, AREN'T WE.
ONE KRABBY PATTIE, EXTRA ONIONS.
ONE CRYING JOHNNY COMING UP.
FIRST BUN, THEN PATTIE, FOLLOWED BY KETCHUP, MUSTARD
PICKLES, EXTRA ONIONS, LETTUCE, CHEESE, TOMATOES AND BUN
IN THAT ORDER.
ONE CRYING JOHNNY UP!
WHATEVER.
12 KRABBY PATTIES ON WHEAT BUNS.
( Spongebob repeating quickly: ) BUN, KRABBY PATTIE, BUN.
ONE DOZEN CRYING COWS ON THE FARM.
UP!
THANKS, FARMER BROWN.
IT'S BEEN A THRILL SERVING YOU.
CAN I GET SOME EXTRA SALT?
WE'RE ALL OUT.
COULD YOU CHECK?
NO.
LET ME GUESS, TINY
A SMALL SALAD?
I TAKE A DOUBLE TRIPLE BARFY DELUXE ON A RAFT.
FOUR-BY-FOUR, ANIMAL STYLE.
EXTRA SHINGLES WITH A SHIMMY AND A SQUEEZE.
LIGHT AXLE GREASE, MAKE IT CRY.
BURN IT AND LET IT SWIM.
WE SERVE FOOD HERE.
I GOT IT ALREADY, SQUIDWARD.
( gasping: ) BUBBLE BATH.
SQUAREPANTS.
I HEAR TALK YOU MAKE A MEAN KRABBY PATTIE.
YEP!
I HEAR TALK YOU'RE KIND OF PICKY.
YEP!
WELL, THEN, HERE YOU GO!
( stomping )
( sniffing )
MMM.
WELL, BUBBLE BATH, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THIS IS PRETTY GOOD.
ONLY ONE THING--
YOU FORGOT THE PICKLES!
( all gasping )
NO!
THE BEST THERE IS?
I DON'T THINK SO.
YOU LOSE.
BUT THE PICKLES SHOULD BE RIGHT WHERE THEY ALWAYS ARE.
I KNOW I PUT THEM ON.
WHERE ARE THOSE PICKLES?
PICKLES, PICKLES, PICKLES.
AH!
I BELIEVE YOU OWE ME TWO BUCKS.
TWO BUCKS!
YOUR GUARANTEE.
OH, THAT, WELL, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?
NO.
HOW ABOUT A DISCOUNT ON RESTROOM TOKENS?
FREE.
HOW ABOUT A FREE GLASS OF WATER?
A DOZEN FREE GLASSES OF WATER!
I'LL EVEN PUT ICE IN IT.
NO, COME BACK.
TWO DOLLARS, TWO DOLLARS.
NO, NO.
MR. KRABS, I KNOW I PUT PICKLES ON THAT KRABBY PATTIE.
THAT TWO BUCKS IS COMING OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK.
WAIT.
WAIT!
GET BACK TO WORK.
WE GOT ORDERS WAITING.
I NEED A KRABBY PATTIE.
OKAY, I AM NOT GOING TO BLOW IT THIS TIME.
LET'S SEE.
BUN DOWN, THEN KETCHUP, THEN MUSTARD, THEN PICKLES--
NO, THAT'S NOT RIGHT!
BUN DOWN, MUSTARD, THEN KETCHUP, LETTUCE, THEN THE PICKLES--
NO.
MUSTARD DOWN, BUN, OH, WHERE DOES THE PATTIE GO.
PICKLES, KETCHUP
THINK, THINK, I'M LOSING IT.
BUN DOWN, SHOE, MUSTARD, PAN, OH, NO.
MR. KRABS, I AM SO CONFUSED.
I CAN'T REMEMBER HOW TO DO ANYTHING.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE REST OF THE DAY OFF.
OH, NO, MR. KRABS.
WHO WILL MAKE THE KRABBY PATTIES?
OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
WE GOT SQUIDWARD.
HUH?
MR. KRABS IS RIGHT.
I NEED TO GET MY HEAD STRAIGHT.
NOW IS IT BUN, PATTIE, KETCHUP.
AH!
THE DOOR, THE DOOR.
MR. KRABS, THE FRONT DOOR IS MISSING!
OH.
HA, HA, SORRY ABOUT THAT.
THIS PICKLE THING HAS GOT MY HEAD ALL MESSED UP.
I BETTER GET ON HOME AND REST MY BRAIN.
WHICH WAY DO I LIVE?
OF COURSE.
HA! HA!
NO, NO, WAS IT BUN, PATTIE, BUN?
TOMATO, PICKLE, BUN?
NO.
BUN, NO.
NO SHOE.
OH, I AM SO CONFUSED.
MAYBE A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP WILL HELP ME GET MY HEAD ON STRAIGHT.
OH, WAS IT MATTRESS, MATTRESS, SHEETS, PILLOW, THEN SPONGEBOB.
OH, THINK SPONGE.
OH, YEAH, IT WAS MATTRESS, SPONGEBOB, MATTRESS
THEN SHEETS, PILLOW.
GOODNIGHT, GARY.
MEOW.
NO, THIS ISN'T RIGHT.
GOODNIGHT, GARY.
MEOW.
WAIT, THIS ISN'T RIGHT, EITHER.
NOPE.
NEGATIVE.
COME ON, COME ON, GET IT RIGHT.
WRONG, WRONG.
WRONG!
NOPE.
NAW!
NEGATORY.
( rooster crowing )
( horn blowing )
OH, I ALMOST HAD IT.
( horn continues to blow )
COME ON, CLOCK.
HOW DO I TURN THIS THING OFF?
THINK! THINK! THINK!
MEOW.
GARY.
( horn continues )
( choking )
( bell rings )
PATTIES ARE DONE.
HEY, HE BURNT MY KRABBY PATTIE.
HE BURNT BY FRIES.
( slurping )
HE BURNT MY SHAKE.
( muttering angrily )
NO, COME BACK.
NO, NO.
I GOT TO GET SPONGEBOB BACK.
SPONGEBOB?
SPONGEBOB!
MR. KRABS, HELLO.
DO YOU HOW DO?
WHY ARE YOU TALKING FUNNY, MAN?
I ANYTHING CAN'T DO RIGHT SINCE BECAUSE PICKLES.
NONSENSE.
YOU'LL BE BACK MAKING KRABBY PATTIES
LIKE YOUR OLD SELF IN NO TIME.
I THINK DON'T READY BACK
TO GO TO WORK, MR. KRABS.
WELL, YOU'RE FINE, ME BOY.
( crash )
OOH, WELL, MAYBE NOT.
ALL WE NEED TO DO IS GET YOUR CONFIDENCE BACK
SO YOU CAN MAKE ME MORE MONEY.
I MEAN, PATTIES.
I HOW DO THAT?
IT'S LIKE RIDING A BIKE.
YOU NEVER FORGET.
UH, I'M GOING TO HELP YOU.
YOU LEARN TO MAKE YOUR KRABBY PATTIE AGAIN
YOU'LL LIFE WILL BE BACK IN ORDER.
MR. KRABS, I DON'T KNOW...
TAKE YOUR TIME.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
HMM...
( snoring )
I GOT IT.
I GOT IT!
IT'S ALL VERY CLEAR TO ME NOW, MR. KRABS.
IT IS?
YES, I FINALLY REALIZE THAT I CAN'T DO IT.
I CAN'T DO IT, MR. KRABS.
I'M A FAILURE.
DON'T TALK LIKE THAT!
DON'T YOU GET IS, YOU CRUSTACEOUS CHEAPSKATE--
I CAN'T MAKE A DOUBLE CRABBY PATTIE WITH THE WORKS.
I CAN'T PUT A PATTIE ON A BUN WITH LETTUCE, CHEESE, ONIONS
TOMATOES, KETCHUP, MUSTARD, PICKLES, AND TOP BUN
TOGETHER IN THAT ORDER!
IT'S TIME.
HEY, SPONGEBOB'S BACK.
All: SPONGEBOB!
I HEAR SQUAREPANTS IS BACK.
I'M RIGHT HERE, BUBBLE BATH.
I THOUGHT I RAN YOU OUT OF TOWN.
THIS IS WHERE I BELONG.
( growls )
RIGHT.
( gasps )
GIVE ME THE REGULAR.
AND THIS TIME, DON'T FORGET THE PICKLES.
I DIDN'T.
MMM...
STILL NO PICKLES!
SEE.
All: YUCK.
YOU FAILED AGAIN, SPONGEBOB-LOSER-PANTS.
( diabolical laugh )
WAIT A MINUTE.
LOOK.
HE'S BEEN HIDING THE PICKLES
UNDER HIS TONGUE THE WHOLE TIME.
AND THERE'S THE PICKLE FROM LAST TIME, TOO.
AND THERE'S MY CAR KEYS.
AND THERE'S MY RIDE.
THREE CHEERS FOR THE RETURN OF OUR MR. FRY COOK, SPONGEBOB.
HIP-HIP--
All: HOORAY!
HIP-HIP--
All: HOORAY!
AND THREE CHEERS FOR THE FRY COOK
WHO TOOK MY PLACE WHILE I WAS GONE--
SQUIDWARD.
HIP-HIP.
( unenthusiastic response )
HIP-HIP.
( unenthusiastic response )
HIP-HIP.
BOO!
YOU STINK!