[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
[PANTS]
The end is nigh!
[SCREAMING] I repeat, the end is nigh!
Everyone just keep calm,
and run for your lives!
[GRUNTING]
[GROWLING]
[PANTING]
LI: Now!
[GRUNTING]
Let them go.
Are you certain, my liege?
They'll never get out of the chunnel alive.
[SCREAMING]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
Hmm.
[GROWLING]
[GRUNTING]
[GROANING]
[PANTING]
[GRUNTING]
[GROWLING]
[GRUNTING]
[SCREAMING]
[GROANS]
[GROWLS SOFTLY]
[WHISPERING] Empress.
[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMING]
I can feel my insides baking!
You think this is bad?
Try having hot flashes for the past 50 years, then we'll talk.
I know I say this a lot, but we need a plan!
Master Po?
Uh, I was kinda hoping
you were gonna take the lead on this one. [CHUCKLING]
Hmm.
I'm gonna go with stop the lava?
Stop the lava?
Ah, what a novel idea!
You heard her, gang. Let's do this.
Huh?
[GRUNTING]
Okay, kids. On the count of three,
get ready to blast like you've never blasted before.
Never mind! There's no time to count!
Blast now! Blast now!
[ALL STRAINING]
Oh, yeah!
[PO CHUCKLES] Oh, yeah!
[CHEERING]
[LAUGHING]
[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]
Uh, sorry.
Sometimes I have difficulty reading social cues, okay.
Ya think?
Uh, guys.
[SING SONG] Little bit of a problemo.
FAN TONG: Where are we?
LI: I think we're under the ocean.
Then how's we breathin'?
Maybe we's mermaids.
Shut it!
[CREAKING]
Be very careful.
Slow and steady.
[WHIMPERING]
[ALL GASPING]
[ALL WHIMPERING]
Huh?
Yep, it's ocean water.
Don't drink it because...
[RETCHING]
[BURPS]
MR. PING: Don't judge me.
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
Hot! Hot! Ow!
[ALL WINCING]
Now would maybe a good time to bust out that chi-shield, Bao!
You got it, Master P.
[GRUNTING]
I, uh...
I got nothing.
Oh, boy.
We must've depleted our chi supplies when we stopped the lava flow.
Maybe we should just climb the scaffolding, right there.
NU HAI: [GASPING] Okay, nobody panic.
Nobody panic?
We just lost half our crew,
including my son!
The Dragon Master.
Wong, you were the love of my life.
ROOSTER: There, there, Wing.
Natural selection works in mysterious ways.
Oh, for crying out loud, they're not dead!
[SOFTLY] Most likely.
Jing's right.
Master Po and my sometimes-not- totally-useless brother were with them,
assuming they survived, they definitely need our help.
Mistress Long, with the chunnel sealed
how are we going to get the rest of the weapons
and the Terra Cotta Soldiers to the Forbidden City?
Now that Po and his disciples are out of the way,
the odds just swung in our favor.
The Iron Goddess is finished.
Load the pieces onto the dirigible quickly.
I have important business to attend to.
[GRUNTS] You can get off of me now, Xiao.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. So sorry, Jade Tusk.
Oh, thank goodness you are here.
Shi Long is bad.
Like B-A-D bad.
And the Imperial Guards are totally in on it.
It is so messed up.
You missed our meeting.
I was very concerned for your safety.
I know. Yes.
Okay, so I was kicking General Fang's butt,
showing him that I no longer needed training,
when he and his corrupt guards
knocked me out and locked me in my room.
Turns out my trusty advisor, Shi Long,
is not-so-trusty after all.
And to think of all that I've done for her.
Like telling her when she has something in her teeth,
or toilet paper stuck to her tail.
The palace is no longer safe.
We need to get you out of here.
I will need my Deer Monks to ensure we can get you past the Palace Guards.
Tomorrow morning, I will return with them to rescue you.
Until then, keep a low profile,
and take care, Empress.
[SIGHS]
You are so my ride or die.
I don't know what that means,
but thanks.
[SNARLING]
NU HAI: [YELLING] Hello?
Is anyone down there?
Master Po?
Bao?
Look for any movement, besides bubbles.
Oh, we should've just stayed back
and washed Grandma's dirty underwear!
To be honest, that could've been just as deadly.
Why must my life be so full of tumult and hardships?
[SOBBING]
Snap out of it. This isn't about you.
[CONTINUES SOBBING]
It's okay, Master Po's dad.
I'm sure they survived.
Your son is the Dragon Master.
Yeah. He certainly is.
Thanks, Fan Tong. I needed that.
You know, you remind me of myself when I was young.
[SHRIEKING] Why would you say that?
Can everybody please zip it?
I think I heard something.
[MR. PING GROANING]
[GASPING]
[MR. PING HONKING]
Ugh! I'd know that annoying goose anywhere.
If he's the only survivor, I say we move on.
[STRAINING]
[YELLING] We're down here!
[CHEERING]
NU HAI: Hang tight! We'll figure something out!
I hope.
Let's think. What supplies do we have to work with?
I've got some hard candy I've been carrying around for the last 30 years or so.
Not too much lint on it,
and a little spit will get off all the hair.
Ugh! Anyone else?
Great. Okay, let's try thinking outside the box.
We're in a box? I thought we's was in a chunnel?
[GRUNTS]
Thank you.
I now see my semantical mistake.
If only we had a rope or something.
But preferably a rope.
That's it. We can form a chain.
A chain? [GRUNTS] With what, pray tell?
Ourselves? [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
[YELLING] Are you out of your freakin' mind?
Back off, cock-a-doodle-ding-dong.
She's with me.
[FARTING]
I've been saving that one for a special occasion.
I didn't think roosters laid eggs.
They don't. [CLUCKING]
Ugh!
Okay, so we wait until the others reach the top of the scaffolding.
Then we have them make a chain too.
ROOSTER: Let me guess, with themselves?
JING: Can I just shut this guy up already?
NU HAI: Then we, as a chain,
swing across and link up with them.
And once we have secured our connection,
we release from this side's cliff
and use that momentum to get everyone to the other side.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Easy peasy.
So, all we need is for someone to be the anchor.
Why do I have to be the anchor?
Because you're the strongest.
Physically. Mentally? Not so much.
I'd be more offended if that wasn't so true.
[WHIMPERING]
Not happening.
I have clammy hands and I'm gonna need more to hold on to
than your wing and Li's prayers.
Please don't let us die, holy Jade Emperor.
Or is it Guanyin?
The Eight Immortals?
Well, whichever god and or gods are listening, if you can hear me...
[YELLING] save us all!
Hard to get. I see you, Grams.
Two can play that game.
Seems to me that two can play most games.
Solitaire?
And that's why you're the boss.
[STRAINING]
And then we all swing to the other side.
Got it?
Uh, yeah.
I totally trust your plan, Nu Hai!
That makes one of us.
No. No. [CHUCKLES] We're, fine.
This is a good plan.
And... And we're fine.
[WHIMPERING]
Uh, anyone else feel a raindrop?
[GASPING, SCREAMING]
Oh, come on!
[GASPING]
It's just me, Empress.
Oh, hey, Shi Long. Welcome home.
Is everything okay?
You seem a bit frazzled.
Oh, no, no. Everything's fine.
[COUGHING]
I'm just feeling a bit under the weather is all.
[COUGHING]
In fact, you know,
I think I'll just rest the remainder of the day.
[FEEBLY] You can never be too careful.
I mean, look at Father, healthy as a mountain goat,
and then, poof!
Gone. [SIGHS]
Empress, before you get too comfortable,
I have something I want to show you.
Oh, Shi Long, can't it wait until tomorrow?
No, it cannot. [COUGHING]
It's a bit of a surprise, not to be a spoiler,
related to the enthronement. [GASPS]
I promise it will be worth it.
Trust me.
Before you undertake whatever little plan you're working on, Xiao,
know that your actions have consequences.
Shi Long, I have no idea what you are...[FOOTSTEPS THUDDING]
[GASPING]
[LOW GROWLING]
[GASPING]
Are those the...
You said the soldiers were to protect Father in the afterlife.
I did, didn't I?
[GASPS]
I want you to abdicate the throne.
To me.
What? You? No!
You should say "yes."
And why would I do that?
To save this village, of course.
[GASPING]
[WHIMPERING]
You can't... Who will stop me?
These citizens are innocent.
Yes, they are, aren't they?
And you can save them.
Abdicate the throne, and no one will get hurt.
[WHIMPERING]
Fine.
I'll abdicate.
You've made the smart decision.
[GASPING]
[SCREAMING]
No!
What are you doing? I agreed to abdicate. [GRUNTS]
Yes, but I still owe you a proper punishment
for betraying me with your little escape plan.
Now, see what you've done.
I'd hate for you to miss this.
[SCREAMING]
[GRUNTING]
[RUMBLING]
[GASPING]
Hey, gang? I think we better do the swinging thing
before the ceiling collapses!
I think we might have made this chain prematurely.
How long do I have to hold on for?
As long as it takes.
Just find a happy place or something.
Find a happy place.
Find a happy...
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
[LAUGHING]
[WHOOPING]
I love you, Fan Tong.
Aw, gee, thanks, Qilin.
More dumplings, please.
[LAUGHING]
It's working! It's working!
Oh, I'm still here.
It's not working anymore!
Dig deep, son. Into the depths of your soul.
I don't mean to be a buzzkill,
but how exactly are we getting the momentum to swing across?
Uh, I guess we all push off the wall at the same time?
You guess?
I don't know! Okay?
This is one of those figure-it-out-as-we-go type situations.
On the count of three.
One, two, three.
[SCREAMING]
[SIGHING]
And that's why you never skip leg day.
Can we please move this along?
You all weigh a lot, but you carry it well.
PO: Yeah, guys, we're kinda in a time crunch here!
One, two, three!
[YELPING]
[GRUNTING]
[ALL SCREAMING]
[GROANS]
Hold on a sec.
This is one of those moments where it's kinda life or death,
and we need to give it everything we got.
A hundred and ten percent. We get it.
Spoken like someone who truly doesn't understand percentages.
And guys, this time when we swing back towards the wall,
let's relaunch with our legs again to get the maximum momentum.
You know what they say, eighth time's the charm.
One, two, three!
[WHIMPERING] Are we dead?
I certainly hope not,
because I do not want to do eternity with you.
You say that, but I know you don't mean it.
Is it over yet?
I have to go to the bathroom and the rushing water isn't helping.
[STRAINING] Everyone, hold still.
We need a stronger connection.
[STRAINING]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
LI: Ping, don't look!
Oh, no! Not Cart!
That's definitely's gonna leave a mark.
[MR. PING SCREAMS]
Ah. That was a close one.
Looks like she's gonna be all...
No!
Hmm.
[WHISPERING] Empress.
[PANTING]
Empress!
SHI LONG: Oh, how I like the sound of that.
[SNARLING] [SWORDS UNSHEATHING]
[GROWLING]
[GENERAL FANG LAUGHING]
[GROWLING]
[GRUNTING]
Take me to the Empress, immediately.
MR. PING: Cart!
[CRYING] Why?
I'm sorry, Dad. He was a good cart.
Oh, the best.
Oh, Cart, we shared so many beautiful memories together.
So, I said to Po...
[BONES CRACKING] [SCREAMING]
Pain! I am in pain!
[SHUSHING]
What? Two Carts?
Oh, you're making me blush.
I hate to rush you through your emotions, Dad,
but the citizens of China are in danger,
and in serious need of our help.
There will always be another Cart.
Ha! How dare you, now...
Wait a minute now.
Now, that I think about it,
there was a cart before this cart.
I guess it's true what they say,
there are plenty more carts in the sea.
Pfft! Nobody says that.
Can we please get this show on the road
before we're all boiled in a giant wok of magma?
[STRAINING] Jing's right, it's now or never.
I've always wanted to say that.
Cart Two will not die in vain.
Let's do this.
NU HAI: Okay, everyone, hold on tight.
Because when Fan Tong lets go,
we are all going to swing to the other side of the tracks, so he can grab...
What? That's the plan?
I was only half paying attention!
[ALL SCREAMING]
[WHIMPERING]
[GRUNTS]
Phew!
Uh...
[ALL SCREAMING]
[LAUGHING]
[GIGGLING]
[CHUCKLING]
[SIGHING]
[STRAINING]
We did it!
Oh, now we're hugging?
Thank goodness.
I can't believe that worked. Well done.
Hey, nice going, chief.
Maybe you're stronger than I thought.
Thanks, Jing.
That means a lot coming from you.
Hey, don't get a...
bigger head about it.
[CHUCKLES] Full disclosure?
I wasn't positive that would work,
but it totally did, and you're really crushing it, Nu Hai.
Major props, O fearless leader.
Thanks, Master Po.
[SIGHS]
This is no way to treat your future Empress.
You will never be Empress.
Never say never.
Release her.
XIAO: No.
JADE TUSK: Empress, I... I don't understand.
If I don't cooperate and abdicate the throne,
citizens will suffer.
She can't destroy anything right now.
[LAUGHING]
You simple fool.
Everything is already in motion.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING, DISTANT CHATTER]
Empress, if you just come with me, we can...
I've seen firsthand what this monster is capable of.
[DISTANT CHATTER CONTINUES]
Over here.
[CLAMORING]
[CHATTER GROWING LOUDER]
Okay, gang, first thing's first, we've gotta find the Empress.
But, if we happen to pass a kitchen or a pantry stock room along the way,
so be it.
Oh, if Cart was still here, we could be enjoying my sawdust trail mix right now.
This is where the Empress took us on the tour of the palace.
Remember the Terra Cotta Warriors?
Yeah, we remember.
That reminds me.
We found the blueprints for a massive one.
Looks like the party is just getting started.
When you say "massive," do you mean...
Ginormous.
[SNARLING] [SHRIEKS, GASPS]
[BREATHING SHARPLY]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
[BOTH GRUNT]
Jade Tusk? What are you doing here?
The Empress...
Is Xiao okay?
No.
It's worse than you could've ever imagined.
[ALL GASPING]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]