- WA-CHA! HIYAH!
male announcer: AND NOW
DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.
- [grunts] [gong rings]
* HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *
[scatting]
* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *
* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *
* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *
* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *
OOH! AHH! YAH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *
* AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *
* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE
* PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHING, SOMETHING *
* SOMETHING, SOMETHING ALIVE *
OOH! AHH! UH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS
SWEET!
[chanting]
- OOF!
- UGH!
- AH!
- UGH.
- OOH!
- [roars]
[audience boos]
- WHICH ONE OF YOU LOSERS IS NEXT?
- YOU'RE NEW HERE SO I'LL REMIND YOU.
OUR FIRST RULE IS THAT WE TREAT EACH OTHER WITH RESPECT.
- LOOK, GIRLIE, SO FAR THIS KUNG FU CLUB OF YOURS IS PATHETIC.
NOW BRING ME SOMEONE I CAN CRUSH.
- HOW ABOUT ME, LOUDMOUTH?
- [laughs]
WHAT'S WITH THE CORNY MASK?
AM I SUPPOSED TO BE SCARE--OOF!
- YAH!
TAKE THIS, OLD ENEMY.
HEEYAH!
UGH!
[groans] SURE.
HIT A GUY WHEN HE'S NOT LOOKING.
- PO?
SORRY TO DISTURB YOUR TRAINING,
BUT SOMETHING SERIOUS HAS JUST COME UP.
- OH, MY GOSH! WE'RE OUT OF STICKY BUNS?
- I WISH.
- YOU WISH WE WERE OUT OF STICK BUNS?
WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE-- - JUST LOOK AT THIS.
- "KUNG FU CLUB.
"MARTIAL ARTS FOR THE AVERAGE GUY.
"PERSONAL COMBAT NIGHTLY.
TELL NO ONE."
A SECRET KUNG FU FIGHT CLUB?
THIS IS SERIOUS.
SERIOUSLY AWESOME!
YEAH!
UGH! - IT IS NOT AWESOME.
IT'S DANGEROUS.
THE UNSKILLED COULD BE SERIOUSLY HURT.
THAT'S WHY TRAINING IS ONLY PERMITTED
AT SANCTIONED PALACES, LIKE OURS.
- STILL, CHECK OUT THAT LOGO.
IT'S ALL "POW, WHAM, FIGHT ME!"
- PO, THIS IS NOT KUNG FU.
THIS IS HOOLIGANISM.
I WANT YOU TO FIND THE CLUB AND SHUT IT DOWN.
- WILL DO, MASTER SHIFU.
NOTHING ESCAPES MY PENETRATING GAZE.
AGH!
SO, WHO LOOKS LIKE THEY BELONG
TO A SECRET UNDERGROUND FIGHTING CLUB?
- [screams]
- [snores]
[burps]
- IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME WAY TO TELL--HUH?
'SUP? - [groaning]
- [whistles]
[quietly] - BLOOD AND HONOR.
- SECRETIVE GATHERING AT THE OLD MILL.
COOL. [giggles]
- PASSWORD?
- [clears throat]
UH...
SMASHAPALOOZA!
DARN.
[gasps]
[groans]
OOH!
[crowd cheering]
SWEET.
[fighting noises]
[cheering, shouting continues]
OOH! REVERSE JACKAL PUNCH.
NICE!
EXPLODING WEASEL KICK! SNEAKY.
[both grunting] SHAKE IT OFF.
[bell dings]
YES!
BRING THE BODACITY!
- GOOD EFFORT.
NEXT TIME, KEEP YOUR LEFT UP AND YOU'LL DO FINE.
SO I SEE SOME NEW FACES TONIGHT.
AND WE ALL KNOW THE THIRD RULE OF KUNG FU CLUB.
all: NO MATTER HEIGHT, WEIGHT, OR MIGHT,
ALL MEMBERS FIGHT.
- SOUNDS REASONAB--HEY!
- WHAT'S YOUR NAME, NEW GUY?
- PO--ONG!
UH, PO-ONG, THE WOOL-GATHERER.
- R...IGHT.
MONGO, YOU'RE UP.
- HA!
- UH, MAYBE WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THIS.
- IT'S OKAY, NEW GUY.
JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
- [yelps]
BUT, UH, I DON'T WANNA HURT THIS POOR LITTLE GUY.
IT'S--IT'S NOT FAIR.
crowd: OOH!
- OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!
- IT'S THE DRAGON WARRIOR.
- THE JIG IS UP.
RUN! [all scream]
- ATTENTION, EVERYONE. I'M REALLY SORRY.
YOUR CLUB IS AWESOME,
BUT ON BEHALF OF THE JADE PALACE,
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SHUT YOU DOWN.
- WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
- RIGHT.
OKAY, SWEET MASK, BUT I'M NOT HERE TO FIGHT.
UGH!
- IT'S ON!
- [groans]
WELL, I GUESS I COULD FIGHT A LITTLE BIT.
[crowd whistles and applauds]
all: OOH!
- HEY, YOU'RE NOT BAD.
- THANKS.
[crowd cheers]
- OKAY.
NO MORE MR. NICE PANDA.
UGH!
GOOD FIGHT.
BUT I STILL GOTTA SHUT YOU DOWN, WHOEVER YOU ARE.
PENG?
- [growls]
- YAH!
- COME ON, PO.
PO!
- YAH! FURRY TREACHERY!
[yelps]
- WHOA, HEY, TAKE IT EASY, PO.
YOU'VE BEEN OUT FOR A WHILE.
SORRY ABOUT THE KICK.
SOMETIMES I GET CARRIED AWAY.
- YA THINK?
- PENG, YOU'RE BEHIND THIS?
BUT I THOUGHT YOU QUIT KUNG FU
BECAUSE OF YOUR, YOU KNOW, BEING RELATED TO TAI LUNG
AND OTHER SUNDRY...ISSUES.
- I DID, BUT I REALIZED THAT THE PROBLEM WASN'T WITH ME.
IT WAS THE SO-CALLED CHAMPIONS OF KUNG FU.
SURE, THE MASTERS OF THE GREAT PALACES ARE HEROES,
BUT THEY KEEP THE SECRETS OF KUNG FU TO THEMSELVES.
BUT THE MASTERS CAN'T BE EVERYWHERE.
AND WITHOUT THOSE SKILLS, THE COMMON FOLK ARE HELPLESS.
- LIAN AND I DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
THE CLUB STARTED TO GROW.
WE WORKED HARD, BUT IT WAS GREAT.
AND FOR FUN, WHOEVER WAS THE TOP FIGHTER
GOT TO WEAR THE MASK OF TRIUMPH.
I HAD A NEW SENSE OF PURPOSE, PO.
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I WAS HAPPY.
- BUT NOW THAT'S OVER BECAUSE YOU WANNA SHUT US DOWN.
- SAVE YOUR BREATH, LIAN.
PO'S ONE OF THE HIGH AND MIGHTY MASTERS.
IT'S HIS JOB TO KEEP THE POWER
OUT OF THE HANDS OF THE COMMON FOLK.
- THAT'S NOT FAIR, PENG.
I'M HONOR-BOUND TO UPHOLD ANCIENT TRADITION.
AND THAT'S WHY...
I TOTALLY WANNA JOIN YOUR CLUB BECAUSE IT'S SO AWESOME!
- REALLY?
- YES!
IT'S JUST WHAT THIS TOWN NEEDS.
KUNG FU FOR THE AVERAGE GUY.
IT'S GENIUS.
- A REAL MASTER IN OUR CLUB WOULD BE AMAZING.
HE COULD HELP TRAIN NEW MEMBERS.
- [gasps] EXACTLY.
THEY'LL BE ALL "OH, WE'RE JUST SIMPLE VILLAGERS."
THEN I'LL BE ALL "FEAR THE PANDA!"
AND THEY'LL BE ALL "POW, WHAM, ZA!"
- ARE YOU SURE, PO?
- THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT.
I KNOW YOU, PENG.
YOU HAVE A GOOD HEART.
IF YOU BELIEVE IN THIS CLUB,
THEN I DO TOO.
- YEAH! - YES!
- YOU CAN EVEN WEAR THE MASK IF YOU WANT.
- DO YOU EVER WASH THIS THING?
- NOT A ONCE.
- [inhales deeply]
AWESOME.
[sighs]
WAIT. WHAT AM I GONNA TELL SHIFU?
- DID YOU FIND OUT ANYTHING?
- GOOD TALK.
- WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE,
TO THE NEW AND IMPROVED KUNG FU CLUB.
YOU ALL KNOW OUR NEWEST MEMBER.
- 'SUP, GUYS?
I HOPE YOU'RE READY TO SHAKE THINGS UP
JADE PALACE STYLE!
- BUT PO, WE'RE JUST REGULAR GUYS.
WE COULD NEVER LEARN TO FIGHT LIKE YOU.
- NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE.
LOOK. ANYONE CAN DO KUNG FU.
AND I'LL PROVE IT.
APPLE CART DUCK?
WHEN I'M READY, I WANT YOU TO HIT ME AS HARD AS YOU--AGH!
NOT QUITE READY, BUT NICE JOB.
[coughs] SEE?
IF HE CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU.
[all cheer]
* KUNG FU FIGHT CLUB
* POW WHAM ZONK CRUNCH
* KUNG FU FIGHT CLUB
* FATOK SPROING
* IT'S A FIGHT CLUB
* WITH A KUNG FU THEME
* POW WHAM ZONK BASH
* KUNG FU FIGHT CLUB
DOODLE DOODLE DO DO KA POW!
- PO, THE LAST FEW WEEKS HAVE BEEN AMAZING.
- YEAH, THOSE GUYS ARE REALLY LEARNING
HOW TO HANDLE THEMSELVES.
- I KNOW.
THAT'S WHY I THINK IT'S TIME
TO TAKE THINGS TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- WE HAVE ONE BIG NIGHT
WHERE WE INVITE THE ENTIRE VALLEY OF PEACE.
WHEN THE VALLEY GETS A LOAD OF HOW AWESOME YOU GUYS ARE,
KUNG FU CLUBS WILL START SPRINGING UP EVERYWHERE.
- HEY.
DON'T YOU KNOW THIS ROAD IS DANGEROUS?
- YEAH.
GIVE US YOUR MONEY.
WE'LL PROTECT IT FOR YA.
- TAKE THAT, LOSERS!
I LEARNED THAT MOVE FROM THE DRAGON WARRIOR HIMSELF!
all: SHAKABOOEY!
- THEY PUSHED US DOWN.
AND THEY SAID HURTFUL THINGS.
AND THEN THEY BEAT US UP. [sobs]
- OH, SHUT UP!
MY BEST THUGS HAVE BEEN GETTING CREAMED ALL MONTH
BY A BUNCH OF SCHLEPS!
AND NOW I KNOW WHY.
THE DRAGON WARRIOR IS THEIR LEADER.
BUT HE WON'T BE...FOR LONG.
- IMAGINE...
KUNG FU CLUBS EVERYWHERE.
- IT'S AMAZING.
WE'RE REALLY MAKING A DIFFERENCE.
- THIS IS WHAT WE'RE MEANT TO DO, LIAN.
THIS IS WHERE WE BELONG.
- I KNOW.
WE'VE GOT OUR WHOLE LIVES AHEAD OF US.
- THAT MAY BE A SHORTER TIME FRAME THAN YOU HAD HOPED.
- [gasps]
- [groans]
- * KUNG FU FIGHT CLUB
BIG NIGHT TONIGHT.
EVERYONE'S GONNA BE THERE.
EVERYONE?
UH, MASTER SHIFU. - UGH.
- I JUST SAW MASTER YAO IN THE FOREST.
HE WANTS TO SEE YOU RIGHT AWAY.
- MASTER YA--OW!
MASTER YAO?
WHAT WAS HE WEARING?
I MEAN, WHAT WAS HE DOING IN THE FOREST?
- YOU KNOW, MYSTICAL FORESTY STUFF.
HE SAID YOU SHOULD COME RIGHT AWAY
AND GO NOWHERE NEAR THE VILLAGE TONIGHT.
WEIRD, HUH?
- BUT-- - LOVE TO COME,
BUT HE SAID YOU SHOULD GO ALONE.
ANYWAY, GOTTA RUN.
ANOTHER GOOD TALK. - HMM.
- SO, PENG, OLD BUDDY,
YOU AND THE PANDA HAVE BEEN GIVING FOLKS THE IDEA
THAT THEY CAN STAND UP TO MY THUGS.
- THAT'S THE POINT.
- IT WAS.
'CAUSE TONIGHT, YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME
ELIMINATE THE DRAGON WARRIOR FOR GOOD.
WITH THIS.
ONE PRICK WITH THIS POISON LITTLE BEAUTY
AND YOUR CHUBBY PAL IS HISTORY.
- YOU'RE CRAZY. WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
- 'CAUSE OTHERWISE YOUR GIRLFRIEND
MEETS AN UNTIMELY, NOT TO MENTION UNTIDY END.
- LEAVE HER ALONE!
- SORRY, CHUM.
CUNNING BEATS KUNG FU EVERY TIME.
- I-I CAN'T.
PO'S MY FRIEND.
- YEAH, I KNOW IT'S A TOUGH CHOICE,
BUT YOU'RE TAI LUNG'S BAD BOY NEPHEW.
WE BOTH KNOW YOU GOT IT IN YOU.
EMBRACE YOUR DARK SIDE, KID.
IT'S YOUR FATE.
YOU WERE MEANT TO BE A VILLAIN.
[overlapping murmuring]
- [growls]
- CHECK OUT THIS CROWD.
HEY, WHERE'S PENG AND LIAN?
- HAVEN'T SEEN 'EM.
- HOW COULD THEY MISS THIS?
WELL, THE CROWD'S GETTING ANTSY.
LET'S GET STARTED.
HELLO, VALLEY OF PEACE.
WELCOME TO KUNG FU CLUB!
[all cheer]
- I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
HOW COULD PO DISOBEY ME FOR THIS?
- OKAY, KID.
GO OUT THERE AND BE WHO YOU WERE MEANT TO BE.
BUT REMEMBER, NO FUNNY STUFF, OR YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS HISTORY.
- [groans]
SO, WHO'S UP FOR FIRST FIGHT?
- I AM.
[crowd oohs]
- PENG TOO?
DISGRACEFUL.
- GOOD IDEA, BUDDY.
START THE NIGHT OFF WITH A BANG.
SO WHO YOU GONNA--AGH!
[crowd oohs]
HEY, WHAT GIVES?
I WASN'T READ--OW!
- [cheers]
- [growls]
- [groans]
- OH!
- OKAY, THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE.
- PENG, TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH!
- I'M SORRY, PO.
EVERY TIME I TRY TO DO SOMETHING GOOD,
IT ALL GOES HORRIBLY WRONG.
- KNOCK HIS BLOCK OFF.
- IT'S TONG FO. HE'S GOT LIAN.
- TONG FO?
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- I'M SORRY, PO. THIS IS MY PATH.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE HER.
YOU WERE WRONG TO BELIEVE IN ME.
[growls]
- [gasps]
[crowd cheers]
- [grunts]
[crowd gasps]
PENG, NO!
I WASN'T WRONG, PENG.
YOU'RE A HERO, AND YOU'RE MY FRIEND.
AND THAT'S NEVER GONNA CHANGE.
- GET ON WITH IT!
WE CAME TO SEE A FIGHT, NOT A DANCE.
- FINISH HIM ALREADY.
- PENG, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE GOTTA DO.
- YES, I DO.
- [screams]
- [chuckles]
- AT LONG LAST, I HAVE FINALLY DEFEATED THE DRAGON WARRIOR.
NOW THAT IT'S ALL OVER, ALL I CAN SAY IS...
NOW!
- IT'S A DOUBLE CROSS! GET UP!
[all groan]
- [roars]
- OOH!
- NO!
[grunts]
- RELEASE LIAN NOW!
- TONG FO.
- WE HAD A DEAL, CHUM.
YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS TOAST.
- NO!
- GOT ANY LAST WORDS?
- I DO.
FREE FIGHT! [echoing] Fight...fight.
[excited murmurs]
all: SHAKABOOEY!
- UGH!
- YEAH!
- YAH!
- WHOA.
- [groans]
YAH!
- HIYA!
- [kiss sound]
- OOH.
EH.
[pants]
WHOA.
- THANK YOU, MRS. YOON.
- WA-TA!
- OOH!
- GOING SOMEWHERE?
- GAH!
- OOH! OW! OH!
- I'VE HAD ENOUGH FIGHTING FOR ONE NIGHT.
- NOT QUITE.
THERE'S STILL THE MATTER OF YOU THREATENING MY GIRLFRIEND.
- [yelps]
[pained groans]
- LOOKS LIKE OUR BOYS HAVE THINGS UNDER CONTROL.
[fighting cries]
- PO. - YEAH?
MASTER SHIFU?
- PANDA, YOU EXPRESSLY DISOBEYED YOUR MASTER'S WISHES.
ALL FOR THIS...KUNG FU CLUB.
- YEAH.
I DID.
- GREAT JOB!
YOU WERE RIGHT, PENG.
KUNG FU SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE.
AND THUS, I'M GOING TO FORMALLY PROPOSE
THAT THE BAN ON AMATEUR KUNG FU BE LIFTED.
- [gasps] THAT--THAT WOULD BE AMAZING!
- WA-TA! - UGH!
- WELL, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER.
FIRST I HAVE TO...
WAH! HWA! - [pained groans]
- UM, I KNOW I KEEP ASKING,
BUT, UH, THERE'S ROOM AT THE JADE PALACE IF YOU EVER--
- SORRY, PO. WE HAVE OTHER PLANS.
- WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOUR ADVICE AND TRAVEL ALL OVER CHINA
SETTING UP MORE KUNG FU CLUBS.
- SWEET!
STILL, GONNA MISS YOU GUYS.
- YOU NEVER GAVE UP ON ME, PO.
YOU ALWAYS BELIEVED IN ME.
EVEN WHEN NO ONE ELSE DID.
INCLUDING ME.
- BE HAPPY, FRIEND.