- WA-CHA! HI-YA!
- AND NOW, DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA:
LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.
[gong rings]
- * HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *
[scatting]
* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *
* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *
* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *
* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *
OOH! AHH! YAH!
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *
* AND MASTER THE SKILLS
* OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME
* KUNG FU PANDA
[scatting]
* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *
* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE
* PROTECT THE VALLEY SOMETHING SOMETHING *
* SOMETHING SOMETHING ALIVE *
* KUNG FU PANDA
* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS
SWEET!
- COME ON, YOU GUYS, WE GOTTA HURRY!
EVERYBODY PACKED AND READY? GOOD.
LET'S GET A MOVE ON.
[grunts]
- OOF!
- OOPS. SORRY, TIGRESS.
- [growls]
- EASY, TIGRESS. PO'S JUST EXCITED.
- LET'S GO.
WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR THE LEVITATION KUNG FU DEMO.
YOU CAN BEAT ME UP LATER, TIGRESS.
MAKE AN APPOINTMENT.
- OH, IT'S GOING IN THE BOOK.
- THIS LEVITATION KUNG FU DEMONSTRATION
IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME!
- OOH, SOMEONE WHO CAN DO KUNG FU AND FLY?
AMAZING!
- NOW, REMEMBER, IF THIS GUY LEVITATES AND I PASS OUT,
WAKE ME UP!
- PO!
I NEED YOUR HELP.
- AW, BUT DAD,
I'M ABOUT TO GO SEE A FLYING KUNG FU MASTER WHO CAN FLY!
- IT'S URGENT.
- URGENT? REALLY? OH...
OKAY, OKAY, BUT QUICK.
LET'S GO. I'LL, UH-- I'LL CATCH UP TO YOU GUYS.
SAVE SOME AWESOME FOR ME!
- THE FURIOUS FIVE ARE LEAVING.
HA! THIS MAKES MY TASK VERY EASY.
I WILL TAKE OUT SHIFU.
THEN I WILL FINALLY GET MY HOOVES
ON THE HELMET OF THE INVINCIBLE THUNDERKICK!
[thunder crashes]
[laughs maniacally]
all: HOO! HOO! HOO! HOO!
- [grunting]
THE DRAGON WARRIOR HIS HERE, READY FOR ACTION!
SO WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY?
- IT'S MAHJONG.
- I DON'T GET IT. MAHJONG?
- WE NEED A FOURTH.
- THAT'S THE EMERGENCY?
I WAS GONNA SEE FLYING MIXED WITH PUNCHING!
THAT'S LIKE THE COOLEST COMBINATION OF THINGS POSSIBLE,
EXCEPT FOR MAYBE COOKIES AND PUDDING!
- MAYBE YOU DID NOT HEAR ME.
THIS IS MAHJONG, SON.
MAHJONG!
- EH?
- AND REALLY, REALLY OLD PEOPLE.
- YOU KNOW, EVEN IF YOU WHISPER IT,
IT'S STILL DISRESPECTFUL.
AND SURELY THIS IS NOT TOO BIG A FAVOR
FOR YOUR LONELY, OLD FATHER
WHO WORKED TRIPLE SHIFTS TO PUT YOU THROUGH SCHOOL.
- BUT I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL.
- ANOTHER DISAPPOINTMENT.
- UGH, FINE. BUT A QUICK GAME.
THEN I CAN STILL SEE THE FLYING FU GUY.
I'LL GO FIRST.
[sighs] ALL RIGHT. YOUR TURN, MRS. GOW.
- NO, NOT THAT ONE.
- MM...
AH... AH...
- NOT THAT ONE.
- UGH...
UH...
- I DON'T KNOW.
- [groans]
- YES! THIS ONE.
NO.
THIS IS IT.
WAIT...
OKAY, DONE.
- GREAT. YOUR TURN.
- [groans]
[snoring]
- OH!
[grunts] JUST LITTLE HELP HERE.
JUST GOTTA GET THIS PIECE DOWN...
[grunting]
FINGERS OFF. JUST LET GO. FINGER OFF...
[grunting]
- WHERE'S THE TOILET?
- AH, AT LAST,
THE HELMET OF THE INVINCIBLE THUNDERKICK WILL BE MINE.
I WILL HAVE THE MOST POWERFUL KICK ON EARTH!
I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO CRUSH
THAT STUPID PANDA WHO HUMILIATED ME!
[crashes]
[crashing]
[door breaks]
RAT!
TELL ME WHERE THE HELMET OF THE INVINCIBLE THUNDERKICK IS!
- THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
- [growls]
[growls] GET HIM. BUT KEEP HIM ALIVE!
[grunting, smacking]
[bell tone]
- OW, OW, OW, OW, OW!
- A CHI-JAN BELL TRAP!
[metal clangs]
NO!
- SHIFU, TELL ME WHERE YOU'VE HIDDEN THE HELMET,
AND I'LL GO EASY ON YOU!
YOU CAN FIGHT SOLDIERS, BUT YOU CAN'T FIGHT IRON!
[heavy thud]
[metallic clanging]
[laughs]
[clanging]
[playing scratchy notes on erhu]
*
- [humming]
*
- MR. YEUNG, IT'S YOUR TURN.
*
OKAY--
*
UH, SAVE SOME FOR LATER.
[chuckles] YOU'RE SPOILING ME. REALLY, I--
OKAY, LET'S PICK UP THE PACE, PEOPLE.
I GOT SOME AIRBORNE ANNIHILATING I GOTTA SEE.
IT'S CALLED "MAHJONG," NOT "MAH-LONG TIME TO..."
UH... LET'S GO!
COME ON, IT'S YOUR TURN, DAD.
DAD?
- WHOO!
THIS GAME IS HEATING UP SOMETHING FIERCE.
THIS AIN'T FOR NO SUNDAY PLAYERS.
- UGH...
- CANDY, PO?
- OOH, ALWAYS.
[gags, coughs]
- HMM?
- [gags]
[spits]
AH, FORGET IT, WE'RE WASTING TIME.
[grunting]
OH, GREAT! NICE JOB. YOU WIN!
OKAY, GOTTA GO.
- NO, NO, NO, NO, THAT'S NOT RIGHT.
MAHJONG IS NO FUN WITHOUT FOUR.
- I PROMISE I'LL PLAY AGAIN, WHEN I'M 80.
RIGHT NOW I GOT SOME COOL, NEW STUFF TO DO.
- JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS NEW DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!
- I THINK IT DOES!
[distant metal clanging]
HUH?
WHA--?
THAT'S WEIRD.
IT'S COMING FROM THE JADE PALACE.
[breathing heavily]
- SHIFU, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLERY.
- TEMUTAI.
- WHERE IS THE HELMET HIDDEN?
- [grunts]
LET SHIFU GO, OR YOU'LL BE PULLING PANDA FUR
OUT OF PLACES YOU NEVER KNEW YOU HAD!
- IT'S THE DRAGON WARRIOR! STOP HIM!
- [growling]
- WAAH!
[crashing, smashing] OW! OOH! UGH!
OOH!
[groans]
- WELL, WELL, WELL.
LOOK WHO'S COME CRAWLING BACK. FLY BOY, THAT'S WHO!
I KNEW YOU WOULD BE BACK.
MAHJONG IS IN YOUR BLOOD NOW.
- NO. JADE PALACE.
SHIFU. TROUBLE.
- OH, SON. ARE YOU OKAY?
- AAH, GOTTA THINK. I'M IN A MESS, HERE.
I CAN'T FIGHT THAT ARMY ALL BY MYSELF.
I NEED THE FURIOUS FIVE.
THEY WON'T BE BACK FOR DAYS.
I NEED A PLAN.
- MAYBE WE CAN HELP.
- IT'S NOT A MAHJONG TOURNAMENT, DAD.
TEMUTAI IS GONNA DESTROY SHIFU IF I CAN'T FREE HIM!
THIS IS BIG TIME. KUNG FU MASTER TIME!
- I CAN GET KUNG FU MASTERS.
- YOU CAN? HOW? WHO? WHERE?
- GOW OF THE HUNDRED STARS, AND YEUNG THE MUSICAL ARCHER.
- MASTER GOW AND MASTER YEUNG?
THOSE GUYS WERE AWESOME LIKE A MILLION YEARS AGO.
THEY FOUGHT A BATTLE AGAINST 2,000 SCORPIONS.
- ACTUALLY, YOU'RE FORGETTING ABOUT THE GUYS
CLUSTERED ALONG THE TREES.
- YES, INDEED. MUST BE CLOSER TO 3,000.
- [laughs] IT HARDLY SEEMS FAIR.
- GOW HAD, LIKE, 100 STARS!
AND YEUNG WAS A MUSICAL ARCHER!
WHOA.
WHERE ARE THEY?
ARE THEY BEHIND THE PATHETIC OLD PEOPLE, OR...?
- DO NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER, PO.
- BUT--BUT THAT'S THEM?
THESE GUYS ARE THOSE GUYS?
[both wheezing]
OH, MRS. GOW, YOU WERE LIKE A STAR-THROWING MACHINE.
MR. YEUNG, I HEARD YOU COULD CONTROL ARROWS WITH YOUR MIND.
- AND I CAN BEND NOODLES TO MY WILL.
I WILL COME TOO.
- NO, DAD, IT'S TOO DANGEROUS.
- WHY? WHY, BECAUSE THEY'RE OLD?
THEY CAN'T HACK IT?
THEY STILL GOT THE GOODS, SON.
MRS. GOW, SHOW 'EM YOUR THROWING STARS.
- I HAVE THEM RIGHT HERE IN MY THROWING STAR BAG.
- SO IT'S TEETH. SO WHAT?
MR. YEUNG HERE CAN STILL HIT A GNAT'S EYE
FROM 100 YARDS WITH THAT BOW OF HIS.
- LUCKILY, I ALWAYS HAVE IT WITH ME.
[string snaps]
- UH, OKAY.
I KNOW THIS IS GONNA SOUND BAD,
BUT I MEAN, YOU GUYS WERE AWESOME.
THEN MANY, MANY YEARS WENT BY, AND WELL,
DON'T GET ME WRONG, YOU'RE STILL AWESOME,
BUT YOU'RE-- YOU'RE GONNA GET HURT.
OR WORSE.
- NO. - DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
- THAT'S CRAZY TALK.
- BUT MRS. GOW, YOU WERE BORN THE YEAR THEY INVENTED ROPE!
AND MR. YEUNG IS OLDER THAN YOU!
- [gasps] PO, THAT WAS RUDE.
I TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THAT.
- BOY'S GOT A MOUTH ON HIM.
- I'M THE DRAGON WARRIOR.
I'LL HANDLE THIS ON MY OWN.
- AAH!
- [grunts]
- YAH!
- SHIFU! ARE YOU OKAY?
- FORGET ABOUT ME.
GET THE THUNDERKICK HELMET BEFORE TEMUTAI.
- NO! I'VE GOTTA GET YOU OUT.
THE ROOF IS GONNA CAVE IN!
- YOU'VE GOTTA GET THE HELMET BEFORE HE DOES.
IF TEMUTAI HAS IT,
THERE IS NO FORCE IN THE VALLEY THAT WILL STOP HIM.
- YES!
I'M CLOSE! I CAN FEEL IT! [laughs maniacally]
- HURRY. THE HELMET IS DOWNSTAIRS.
FOUR DOORS PAST THE DUNGEON.
- RIGHT!
WE HAVE A DUNGEON?
- GET GOING!
- THE PANDA.
[growls]
ATTACK!
- OKAY, WE'RE DONE WITH THE HIDING.
I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO MOVE ON TO THE KICKING BUTT PORTION.
- YAH!
- UH, UH...
OH, I GUESS WE'RE DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE ODDS THING NOW.
GOOD CHOICE.
- YAH!
- [grunting]
HEH, YOU'RE MAKING A COLOSSAL MISTAKE.
'CAUSE ANY MOMENT NOW,
I WILL BE JOINED BY THE RETURN OF THE FURIOUS FIVE.
- WHERE'S THE TOILET?
[scratchy erhu note]
[coughs]
- OR THEM.
- GUYS, GO BACK. UGH... YOU'LL GET HURT.
- DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
I'VE STILL GOT-- [coughs]
OH, I'M GOING TO PASS OUT.
- [growls]
- OH! WHEW!
HI, SEN YEUNG. YOU'RE PING'S KID, RIGHT?
- UH...
- SO, WHAT'RE YOU GONNA FIGHT ME WITH?
[laughs]
OH, DON'T HURT ME WITH YOUR TEETH.
[laughs]
WATCH OUT. SHE MIGHT KNIT ME A SWEATER.
[laughs]
[groans]
- WHAT?
- YA! YA! YA! YA! YA!
[all grunting]
- WHOA. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A THING!
- DON'T SMILE AT HIM, YOU'RE OLD.
OLD PEOPLE CAN'T SMILE, RIGHT, PO?
WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING. HMM.
- DAD, CAN WE DISCUSS THIS LATER?
WE GOT COMPANY.
I NEED TO GET IN THERE AND STOP TEMUTAI.
CAN YOU GUYS COVER ME?
both: UH-HUH.
- YA!
[twanging notes]
[all grunting]
- HA!
- YOU DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, PO.
WE'LL TIDY UP HERE.
- PANDA... - I'M WORKING ON IT.
OOF!
- TOO LATE, PANDA!
AT LAST, IT IS I WHO WILL HUMILIATE YOU!
THE HELMET SHALL BE MINE!
- WOW, YOU'RE SO DRAMATIC.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT EVERYTHING.
- I SHALL DEFEAT YOU!
- SERIOUSLY, CAN YOU NOT TALK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?
- [growls]
WHA--?
SO MANY HELMETS. WHICH ONE?
[grunts]
THAT MUST BE IT. THE FANCIEST ONE!
WITH THIS HELMET, I WILL HAVE THE POWER
OF THE INVINCIBLE THUNDERKICK!
[clucks like chicken, chatters like monkey]
NO!
THAT'S THE MONKEY CHICKEN DANCE HELMET!
- I MIGHT HAVE TO TAKE THAT ONE HOME.
- ARGH! - [giggles]
HA HA!
[grunting]
THAT MUST'VE BEEN THE "YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY" HELMET!
- [speaks gibberish]
- UH...
- THAT WASN'T ME.
THAT HELMET HAS TO BE HERE!
GOOD-BYE, PANDA.
[electricity zapping]
OOH.
- [grunting]
- WAAH!
- [snoring]
[crackling]
- [grumbles in tiny voice]
- WAAH! WHOO! WHUH!
- [heaving breaths]
[both laughing]
- EH?
[high-pitched scream]
- [chattering]
- [grumbling]
WAIT A MINUTE.
DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.
- HA!
IT'S THUNDERKICK TIME!
[electricity buzzing]
[thunder crashes]
[growls]
[electricity crackles]
HOLD STILL!
[growls]
- WHOA!
[metal creaks]
[electricity sizzling]
- HUH?
[grunting]
[straining]
- [growls]
- HUH? AH...
- EH, WHAT HELMET IS THIS?
- THAT'S THE "YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY" HELMET.
BYE-BYE.
[thunderclap]
- SHIFU!
[right foot pounding]
SHIFU! OOF! STAND BACK!
- WAIT.
- WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
- PUTTING MY ROBE BACK ON. IT'S HOT IN HERE.
OKAY.
[crashes, electricity sizzles]
THANK YOU, PO.
YOU'VE SAVED THE VALLEY.
YOU COULDN'T HAVE CARRIED THE HELMET IN,
AND THEN PUT IT ON?
- HEY, GUYS.
- [groans]
- YEAH, LOOK, I KINDA OWE YOU AN APOLOGY
ABOUT THAT STUFF I SAID ABOUT YOU BEING OLD.
- OLD AS ROPE, IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY.
YOU KNOW, ROPE.
THAT THING THAT IS VERY USEFUL AND HELPFUL.
- YES. AND ROPE GOT HIS FEELINGS HURT WHEN YOU SAID THAT.
- UH, WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
- I AM THE ROPE.
- YEAH, I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT.
THAT WAS WRONG OF ME.
- BUT WE NEED A FOURTH.
- MAHJONG, ANYONE?
- IT'S MY TURN.
- TAKE YOUR TIME, MRS. GOW. NO RUSH.
- HEY, YOU GOTTA TRY OUT THIS LEVITATION KUNG FU, PO!
- GET OVER YOURSELVES.
- PO, DON'T YOU WANNA GO LEARN HOW TO FLY WITH YOUR FRIENDS?
- I'M RIGHT WHERE I WANT TO BE, DAD.
THIS IS MAHJONG. MAHJONG!
HA! DEAL WITH THAT.
HEY, NO CHEATING, MRS. GOW.