[phone ringing, vibrating]
[Marcus narrating] Yeah, looking back now, for as long as I can remember, like,
I don't think I ever really truly loved myself.
Not really anyway, like, not the way you're supposed to.
I was never taught how.
Instead, I learnt to love the money and all the shiny things it brought.
The cars, the watches, the jewellery, the fancy clothes.
All of the things that made me feel like I was someone special.
You know, that made me look like I was actually worth something,
when in reality, the truth was underneath all of the fancy shit...
I felt worthless, man, like I was insecure.
And the money, well...
Well, the money just helped cover it all up.
[door opens]
But like everything else in this world, nothing lasts forever.
And when that money goes, well...
Well, see, there's something about when a man is stripped bare.
Naked of everything, all his possessions, all his shiny things.
His money and wealth included.
When that happens, there's something that forces that man
to take a good look at himself.
And, like, see what really defines him,
see what makes him tick.
And see, often, when that happens, when that situation occurs,
and we're forced to take a good look in that mirror,
we end up not liking the person we see staring straight back at us.
Sometimes, in fact, we actually end up hating them
and by them, I mean hating ourselves.
So that's how it goes.
The guy stopped opposite you at the traffic lights, like,
that person you walk past on your way to the corner store.
We dislike them, these total strangers,
for no other reason than we recognise a part of ourselves in them.
They're a reflection of our own hate towards ourselves.
So there lies the problem.
As corny as it might sound,
we'll only really learn to love ourselves, our real selves,
when we finally learn to stop hating each other
and that's the truth.
[motorbike engine roars]
[indistinct chatter]
The hate we have for each other stops us from loving ourselves, like,
stops us from growing as a people, from uniting.
I'm the reason you make money.
It sounds strange, but...
Because, like, think of a house of cards, right?
Like, by themselves each card is just like a regular card,
but when you put each card together, like, you start to build something,
something bigger, better even.
We need to be like that, man.
Like a house of cards, every one of us working together.
Supporting each other, little by little, piece by piece.
I mean, love, like, love is a strong word,
we don't have to love each other straight away, that'll come in time
but the hate has to stop, man.
It has to stop now.
Cos it's killing us, man, more and more each day.
So, yeah.
Yeah, we need to be like a house of cards.
Fucking house of cards, man.
Cos if one falls, then they all fall.
We all fall down.
Oi, you little dickhead, what you doing out here?
Why you not at school?
We just came back from lunch. I was gonna get my bike.
What you mean "we"? You think it's some kind of game or suttin'?
These man don't even go to fucking school.
Do you wanna be like these man, yeah? Wastemen.
Listen, get your bike and get your skinny arse back to school.
Don't let me ever catch you out here again, yeah?
Cos I'll embarrass you.
[kisses teeth]
Fool.
[kisses teeth] Ay, your brother's a wasteman.
[dog barking]
[machinery whirring]
[indistinct chatter on loudspeaker]
Marcus.
Wagwan.
Been hiding under any cars lately?
[laughter]
Allow it, man. You left me.
What you talking about? Man didn't leave you.
Man had to circle the block twice, come back and you was gone, fam.
I used it.
What?
What do you mean you used it, blud?
Used it on who and where?
-When you left me. -What you talking about?
Yesterday, I got spotted.
They ducked man down again.
You man left me out there by myself.
I was out there in the trenches on my own, bro.
How could you do that to me?
You didn't call me, bro.
You didn't call me, you didn't circle back.
Almost lost my life, bro. Again!
What do you mean "again"? Furthermore, wait.
So, who did you hit?
You bust my dawg, you use my khan, like khan's cheap.
Who did you hit, fam?
I was on my one's, bro, lacking, bro, you weren't there.
Who did you hit, blud?
-I had to do suttin', man. -Who did you hit?
[gang member] Brudda, did you not hear what he said?
He said, "Who did you hit?"
They was ducking me, bro, what'd you mean?
I had to let it off in the sky.
[laughter]
[gang member] Man is a jokeman!
Hold on, hold on, wait. So you come in here, yeah,
all pumped up, breathing heavy, gassed and that,
acting like you done the mad ting.
When really you let it off in the sky, fam?
[laughter]
You probably hit a bird or suttin', blud.
You weren't there, bro.
You didn't even call me, bro, all you had to do was call me.
Oi, you think man give a shit about what you're talking about, blud? Huh?
You think man care about all this bullshit.
You coming in here crying like some little baby.
What, have me and you got a problem, fam?
Have we?
Yo, cos if we do, ya know,
you can't come back round here, you understand?
You hear me?
Not you, your crackhead mum, none of that.
This is my ends, I run round here, you feel me?
Can get you got at any time, bro.
All I got to do is say the word.
You know what? Furthermore, yeah,
I might even make your little brother do it for me, fam.
[gang member] That's a good idea.
Leave my little brother out of it, man.
Man, shut up, man.
Your little brother's working with the gang now, you feel me.
Leave him, man. He's only a little kid.
Blud, he ain't no kid, he's on more than you.
Feel me?
He's got nuttin' to do with it, man.
It's between me and you.
Blud, are you stupid?
I've just told you, your little brother's part of the team now.
He's gang, innit.
Do you know what?
Furthermore, I'm out.
You're damn right you're out, bro.
You're fired. [laughs]
Cos I said so.
Little pussy, blud.
Dickhead.
[gang member] Fam, you niggas get no chicks anyway.
How about that for a fucking conversation, blud?
Ay, shut up, bro. This guy's always talking 'bout gettin' tings.
What tings do you even get?
What? You ain't see me with that muddled bitch from last week?
[sighs] Bro, I can't even lie to you, she was not feeling your ting.
You know, fuck you anyway.
If bitches was to come through here anyway, I know we can't get shit
cos you is looking dusty as fuck and fucking up my shit!
Look at this little nigga's fucking bike as well!
What type of fucking '79 Caprice looking,
World Cup losing arse 1986 fucking bike is this shit?
What the fuck is this, blud?
Hey, you know what? Fuck that.
Keep doing all the good work you do,
and I'mma put you on. I'ma get you the Benz of bikes, yeah?
Nah, man. Stacks is a pussy, fam.
I ain't even rolling with them man no more anyway, man, like. [kisses teeth]
Man ain't into it no more still, like, them man don't care 'bout me.
You ever seen a stack like this, G? Yeah?
You ever seen your parents with some shit like this? You know who this is?
[Danial] Nah.
This is the richest man that the world ever seen, G.
Black man. African man.
-Musa Mensa. -Bro! Shut up, bro!
Musa Mensa didn't sell no fucking GD to get all that money, did he?
Every nigga starts from somewhere, G.
[he laughs]
Yeah, man, like...
Man needs to do better, man, you get me, like?
This time I actually want to try it, like.
Ay, boss, stop the car! Stop the car! Stop the car!
And for me, it's just that GD.
[tense music]
Fuck is this little nigga going anyway?
Who's this nigga?
Where's he fucking gone?
I said where's he fucking gone, huh?
I don't know my nigga. We're just chilling.
I said where the fuck is he,
'fore I slap all you man up, now! You lot dumb? Huh?
-I don't know, fam, we were just chillin'. -What'd you mean chillin'?
What'd you mean chillin', bro?
Are you mad? That's my little brother!
I don't want to see none of you man anywhere near him, yeah?
Not on the block! Not in school! Nowhere!
Make sure you man walk on when you see him! Ignore him, yeah?
Fucking dickheads, blud! Stay the fuck away from him!
Hey, yo, watch!
I'mma tell Stacks you gripped me up, you little fuck nigga, man!
Predator looking motherfucker!
Hey, bro. How'd you let a man grips you up like that?
Oh, fam, it is what it is, you get me?
Man can't be a gangster in all situations.
I'll get him back.
[door opens, closes]
Yo, Mum.
[Vivian] Marcus, baby, is that you? You alright?
Yeah, it's me. I'm good.
Have you heard Dan come in yet?
Yeah.
No... no, I don't think so.
Ah... do you know, I actually can't remember.
I've just been sleeping all day.
Baby, I'm not feeling too good, you know?
My head's hurting and I'm feeling kind of weak.
Erm, Marcus, baby, do you think that you could, erm--
Look. Look, Mum.
I've gotta go, man.
It's Danial, he...
[kisses teeth] Ah, forget it.
-[train rattling] -[dog barks]
[footsteps]
Mum, do you love us?
Like, do you actually really love us?
I don't think you do.
I don't think you ever did, you know?
And... like, I get it.
It's not even about me no more.
I've gone through it. I swear.
Like, I'm OK with it now, you know?
I've dealt with it. You not loving me.
But Danial.
He loves you and he needs you.
He fucking misses you,
but he'll never admit it.
I promise you he does.
It's about time you started acting like a fucking mum!
You need to be better, man!
You need to do better! You need to be better!
He's only fucking eight years old, man!
-He needs his mum! -Fuck off!
It's always about you fucking guys, yeah?
Huh? Do you think I'm happy like this?
I'm in pain, man.
Can't you understand that, like, can't you just see it, like?
I'm in... pain.
Nah, you're fucking selfish.
That's what you are. And you know what I see?
All I see is a fucking dead woman.
You're fucking dead to me.
Ah, you what, you're fucking-- fuckin' Mr High and Mighty,
what you think you're better than me, innit?
No, you ain't no better than me, you know?
[manic laugh]
You're not better than me.
You're a loser.
You're a fucking loser.
You ain't nothing, you're absolutely nothing, yeah?
I fucking wish you were gone, man!
I fucking wish you were dead, man!
Then I wouldn't have to fucking see your fucking...
-Fucking face a--! -[door slams]
[sobbing]
[Marcus] So now that's off my chest,
I guess I just want to say thank you.
Lickle man, wagwan, my G.
What you saying? You good, yeah?
Gonna get all the girls at school and that, you get me?
Even though school's a fool's game.
Yo, Dan, come out! Come out the car, bruv!
What this eediyat doing, blud? Is he alright?
Yo, I'm being serious, man. Come out the fucking car, bro.
D'you think I'm playing with you? You're getting me mad!
You're alright, man. Just chill out.
Come out the car, Danial, bruv!
[sombre music]
[phone beeps]
[voicemail] You have one new message.
First new message.
[Marcus] So you're probably thinking to yourself,
when is this boy gonna stop messaging me?
[chuckles] Good question.
Well, you'll be glad to know that this is probably gonna be my last message to you,
unless you actually choose to message me back this time,
and, well, if you do message me back
then I guess I'll message you back too, innit, and then...
Listen I just wanted to get some things off my chest real quick, yeah?
You don't even have to listen to this to be fair, but I wanted to say it.
[sighs] So, here goes.
Danial, come out the fucking car, bro!
Listen, I ain't got time for this shit, bro. I didn't ask for this.
I'm tired, man!
-[Stacks laughing] -Huh? I'm like a dad to you, bruv!
I didn't ask for this shit. I got my own life to sort out.
I'm not your dad. I'm not your mum.
I'm me, bro, Marcus!
And you got me running around looking after you every day,
bringing you to school, making your bed.
Bro, who's looking after me, bro? No one!
Do you know how it feels to not have anyone, huh?
Shit fucking hurts, man.
Look, bro,
I know the setup we have ain't easy, man.
Me and you, like, what we have to go through with Mum and that, like.
I know it was tough,
I've made some big mistakes along the way, man.
I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did, bro.
And do you know what?
I know it's easy to blame Mum for everything, bro,
what we've been through and that but...
In life you can't keep blaming your mistakes
on other people and circumstances.
I've done that for as long as I can remember now
and it hasn't got me anywhere. Like, I'm tired of it, man.
[kisses teeth] I used to have this feeling inside me,
it was like a frustration and anger.
It killed all the dreams and passions that I ever had, you know?
And I felt like, like fuck it,
I'm hurt so I want everyone else to hurt too.
I just felt so angry inside, man.
I was always angry, always so angry and...
We can't keep being angry, bro. We can't be angry no more.
Not at Mum, not at each other,
not at anything, I swear.
Listen, this ain't life.
We're gonna look back at this situation in ten years and we're gonna realise, bro.
I know it's hard to understand now but, I promise you, man.
You've just gotta believe it.
You see guys like... see guys like that, bro,
they'll never tell you this, fam, yeah?
They'll never admit it, bro.
Cos they don't know their own fucking selves, man.
They're lost boys, and they turn into lost men.
Don't listen to him, man.
The cycle just goes on and on and on and on and it will never stop.
It will just keep going.
I want better for you, bro.
More than you can ever imagine.
I've been thinking like that for the past weeks still,
and at first it made me upset, I'm not even gonna lie.
I've kind of grown used to us talking and stuff,
but today I've been thinking more.
And do you know what?
I'm OK with it now. I'm OK.
Do you know I remember reading something once.
I can't remember where I read it, but it went something like this.
Sometimes God brings someone into your life for a period of time,
a period of time that's just right.
You may want that person to stay in your life for longer
but that's not what they're there for.
That's not their purpose. They have a job, to help fix you.
I was broken.
I didn't even know it myself, but I was, you know.
You saw that and you helped fix me.
I'm better now. I'm better than I was.
And if that's the only outcome of you and me, I mean, like,
all that's ever been written for us, then that's enough.
So now that's off my chest,
I guess I just wanted say thank you.
Please, please, please, please, please.
Answer your phone, Marcus, answer your phone!
We've been through a lot.
Look at where we are, bro. Look how far we've come.
We're still here, we're still fighting.
Shit! Marcus!
Fuck!
[phone ringing]
-I'm proud of you. -[phone ringing]
I'm proud of us.
I love you, man.
[laughter]
[phone ringing]
[voicemail] Please leave your message after the...
[phone ringing]
[tense swell]
[voicemail] Please leave your message after the tone.
Press any key to end.
-[tone dial] -Marcus! They're coming for you!
Run!
[tense music]
[tyres screech]
[gunfire]
[bullet whistles]
[tyres screech]
[screaming]
[car alarm]
[woman] No! No! No!
[loud banging]
[sobbing]
...My door like that.
Danial, if you've forgotten your fucking key, I swear!
What the fuck is going on!
Viv, quick! Marcus has been shot. He's down near mine. Come quick.
What? Marcus! Marcus!
-[Vivian] Did you call an ambulance? -[screaming, crying]
[sombre music]
[screaming and shouting]
[siren wails]
God! Oh, God! Please, Marcus, OK, OK.
-[Vivian] Stay with me. -[indistinct crying]
Who did this to you?
[crying, mumbling]
[crying, people clamouring]
[Vivian] Baby! Oh, baby, please, please!
[Vivian sobbing]
[Vivian] No, don't, don't, don't!
Don't!
Oh, my God!
No! No, no, no, no!
Marcus, please!
Oh, Marcus!
[sombre music]
[no audible dialogue]
Marcus!
Yo, what's good?
I heard about your brother, man. Keep your head up.
[door shuts]
[foreboding swell]
[door creaks]
Mum! Mum!
Please, I'm sorry.
Mum!
I'm sorry! Just get up!
Are you hungry, Mum?
I'll get you some food, but you need to wake up!
You need to get up!
I'm sorry!
Wake up. Mum, I'm sorry!
Get up!
I'm so sorry.
[phone ringing]
[indistinct chatter]
[man] Hey, Danial. I want you to meet Mrs Palmer.
OK, she's going to be looking after you and taking care of everything,
so you don't have to worry about a thing, OK?
Now I want you to be a brave, strong boy for me,
and any problems, you let Mrs Palmer know, OK?
We'll get through this and I'll see you soon, alright?
I'll call you, yeah?
[Mrs Palmer] How are you feeling, my love?
Still not up for talking much?
It's OK, sometimes I don't feel like talking either.
But listen up, we have a date to go check out your brand new home today, OK?
Shall we go?
You're a really lucky boy, Danial.
I didn't know my dad growing up.
He died before I was born.
Your dad sounds super excited to have you.
I bet you'll have absolutely loads to talk about.
[Slim] Shit then, you've grown a lot, innit?
[Slim ] Nah, nah, don't worry, man, he's cool.
He's a big boy now.
[door shuts]
-[Willow] Still gonna go link my man? -[Slim] Yeah, yeah.
I just gotta sort out this first, man.
Do you want me to go?
Nah, nah, nah. I'll deal with it.
Follow me if you want though.
Alright cool. I'm gonna wait outside.
-Alright, cool. -Nice one.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[Slim] So look, basically, you're living with me now, yeah?
So, I'm gonna run some rules and regulations past you,
just so we don't bump heads.
First thing,
no smoking in this yard, only I do that shit.
Second, no girls in this house.
Only I do that shit, you hear me?
And if I catch you doing any type of shit,
and I mean any type of shit that I don't like,
you're in big trouble, you hear me?
Alright, good.
Good.
Look, man, I heard what happened to your bro.
Some sad shit, man, and I feel it for you still.
But he knew what he was getting himself into.
It's just the roads.
Just the way it is, man.
But in this house, we keep it respectful,
and we stick by the rules. Understand?
Look, man, I know we don't really know each other that much, man.
It's kinda my fault still,
and your mum's, to be fair.
But... I'm your dad,
and we can't change that.
But look, the room you're gonna be staying in,
up the hallway on the left,
not the one on the right.
And don't ever let me catch you going in there, you hear me?
And before you say anything, it's kind of mad in there still.
But we'll pattern it up.
Paint it blue or buy you some toys,
or whatever type of shit you kids like.
But we'll work it.
[sighs]
[zipping]
Look, I gotta hit the road for a bit,
sort out some politics.
Fix yourself some food, man, or watch some telly or suttin'.
But we good from earlier, you understood the conversation, yeah?
Alright, cool.
There's some food in the fridge,
but don't touch the smoked salmon and the pineapple juice!
That's my shit.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[door opens]
[ethereal music]
[sighs]
[shower dripping]
-[floorboards creak] -[door closes]
[Slim] Yo. Yo, get up, man!
It's late, you know, you know what time it is?
I've been gone for like two hours and you're still sleeping.
No lazy ting in this yard, you know, G?
[kisses teeth]
Furthermore, go shop.
Get some pineapple juice and some milk,
and whatever else you wanna eat for dinner.
Make sure you bring back my change, man.
Sleeping at this time, you've lost your mind.
[door opens, closes]
[foreboding music]
[Marcus narrating] It was never meant to be like this, you know.
It was never the intention anyway.
Despite what they might tell you.
[angelic choir]
I mean, we were all kids once, right? Like, every one of us.
Kids with ambitions and wild dreams and imaginations.
We never wanted to be dropouts or drug dealers
and prostitutes and murderers, gang members, addicts.
Failures.
[sombre music]
We never chose that life,
not intentionally anyway.
It kinda chose us.
We just stood by and let it happen, that's all.
Didn't do anything to change it.
And so here we are.
Like wolves, we live by instinct, day to day.
Yet like sheep, we follow the same pattern, day to day.
My heart's heavy, man. I'm feeling tired.
[Slim chatting indistinctly]
[Slim] Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Yo! Leave the change on the table!
[Slim talking indistinctly]
[doorbell rings]
[Slim] Fifteen minutes, they said.
Twenty fucking minutes, to like an hour, now.
[door opens]
[car horn in the distance]
[choral music]
[door closes]
♪ Side by side by side ♪
[Marcus] Who can we blame,
when all the opps are dead or in jail,
or when all our so-called brothers have moved on,
who are now just some distant strangers?
Who do we point the finger at then,
when there's no one else left for us to still hate,
but yet there's still so much hate left in us?
What excuse will we have then?
Maybe that's the only time we'll be forced to see the truth,
that it was us.
Me and you.
We were really hating ourselves all along.
It's always been us.
Breathe.
[tyres squeal]
[gunfire, banging on the door]
[Slim's muffled voice] Yo, get the door!
Tell them I ain't giving them no more money, man.
[Slim's voice gets clearer] Dead pizza's cold anyway, again.
Taking the piss, man.
[Marcus] And you know the maddest thing?
Most people don't even know, like, they haven't got a clue...
about what it took.
The things you've had to overcome,
the strength it's taken just to be where you are right now.
[loud banging]
Battered, yeah, bruised, maybe, but still in the fight.
Still breathing.
I said breathe.
We only see the here and now, like,
a snapshot at a given point in your life, but...
Nah, they don't get the full picture.
Not at all.
[loud banging]
[speaking indistinctly] ...real tight. Look.
[Marcus] They have no true idea where you've been,
what you've been through or where you're heading even,
but still they judge, comment and just write you off.
They can't see past the strange appearance,
the aggression, the revealing clothes,
the destructive behaviour, the hoodies, the drug addiction.
Where's your dad?
And why?
Did they ask themselves why, like why all these things?
Does it occur to them that maybe you're just not OK right now,
like, you're damaged, you've been broken and you want to get better
but it's taken every single ounce of your determination,
every single bit of your strength,
your courage, just to try and be OK,
just to function as normal, hold it all together in one piece, just to breathe.
[gunshot]
[slumping, glass shattering]
[gunshots]
[broken glass crunches underfoot]
[sombre music]
[Marcus] Nah. Probably not, right?
And why should it?
Like I said, most people don't even know, like, they haven't got a clue.
It's right there, right in front of them, but...
they just can't see it.
And how could they?
See, it's not their eyes that are blind at all.
No.
No, it's their hearts.
And remember, this was all just a story.
[sign clinking]
[theme music]