Che
You messed up my count
Why are you girls protesting early in the morning?
What is this riot!
You girls have nothing better to do?
Go oil your hair
Go pluck your eyebrows
Go make 1 face pack, 1 six-pack, do something
And you, can you pluck out your ingrown toe nails?
Put henna on hair?
It's been five days since we had food in this PG!
I keep ordering food from outside. Why am I paying rent, then?
You are not paying rent only for food
There is roof, there is bed,
there is sofa, there is Bengaluru weather,
there is power supply, there is electric supply,
there is modern kitchen…
…there is sofa!
Which other PG is giving you such luxury items?
Please Vasu, we know all the things and this house belongs to your husband
You kicked him out after the divorce didn’t you
Look! Suddenly how she is making personal attacks
Very cheap of her
But if you want to make personal attacks like this
at least have minimum decency and do it in Kannada
I'll show you decency!
Okay, If we ask in Kannada will you give us food?
What can I do if the cooker isn't coming!
How will I suddenly found a new cooker?
You tell to me. Yes?
We’ll all pool in and buy you a new cooker, Vasu
Ah, Idea master Paashupalli!
Cracking jokes, huh?
First cash, then do comedy with Vasu
Get your deposit
I just thought I'll suggest that-
Oh Suggestions?
Listen one and all, put all your suggestions in a suggestion box
There's a suggestion box?
Rehna!
Yes, there is a suggestion box
And it is… right here
In my Bum-sandra
Put it. Put it
Vasu... don't change the topic. You call that cook right now
Yeah call him in front of us
Okay! You do not believe me
I'll call the cook right now
Why should I worry?
What is there for me? I will call
Deepak… I’ll call him right away
Hello?
Deepak
Why haven't you come for 2 days?
5 days…
5 days, you haven’t come. Why?
No. These girls need some veg food, right?
Get some chat items when you come
Bhel puri, masala puri, pani puri
Deepak?
Hello?
Eh Eh Vasu!
We know you're not speaking to anyone
I am speaking, he's not listening
It is telecommunication problem-
Hey Paashupalli! I can see you running
No no, I am not running Vasu
The thing is Tara and Srishti are in the bathroom
And I'll go tell them there's no… heater
Heater is not working!
What?
There's no hot water now?
What? Thats not done…
Are there dates in this?
No, figs
Figs
-It's really good -Thank you
-I’ll have one bottle of this, please
That's 550 Rupees
What?
550 rupees
550 rupees for a bottle of jam?
That's ridiculous
Yeah. But we make it with fresh fruits
and also we only add natural emulsifiers
- like agar, pectin- - you know what?
Let me just give you some friendly business advice, alright?
If you use plastic bottles instead of glass
your jam will be whole lot cheaper
Plus, plastic is way safer than glass
Glass bottles are safer than plastic
Really?
Remind me again which one cuts you when it breaks?
Glass bottles are naturally sterile
And plastic bottles on the other hand
if you add hot liquids to it, chemicals might leech in
And people might die of food poisoning
Unless that's what you want, then yes
plastic is way safer than glass
Sure. But for people to die of food poisoning
they need to be able to afford food
which they're not going to be able to do
because they spent all their money on your jam
in a glass bottle
You know what?
Actually take this for free
- Take it - What? No No… That’s…
No really
Anyway the proceeds are going to charity
I'll make a donation on behalf of a man
who was really scared of glass bottles
- No problem - Look
I was just trying to help you
But if you don't want my help
that's completely fine
I will take the jam
and pay you your 550 Rupees
We don't want your charity. It's okay
Isn’t that the point of this stall?
Thank you!
The customer you are calling is unavailable. You can now-
What are you doing?
Nothing. I was just-
Call from as many phones as you can
Nikhil's number will be unreachable
Because he has left the country
He knows that you are stalking him
How?
- T-Boi - T-Boi
No guys, T-Boi is helping me out
He's getting information from Nikhil's office for me
And in return you are stealing contacts for him from the library
Yes
For his cousin's CCTV business
Yes
Instead, you could’ve planted a CCTV in Nikhil's office
No, that's wrong
And stealing isn’t wrong?
No, I wasn't steal- Here, take it back
Sanitize it first
We’ll have to throw her also out of the room
She also turned out to be boring
Wish we could get a murderer like last year
Mu... Murderer?
Yes, she come to Bangalore looking for her mother
Her mother left her when she was a child
She killed her mother as soon as she met her
What did she do then?
-Coding -Coding
My mom's calling me
Yes, amma
Pushpavalli! I've arranged Sumangali Prarthanai this Friday
I've booked tickets for you. Come
Ma, I won't get a holiday
As if it’s some big IAS work that you cant take a holiday
It's a creche only no?
Ma, it's a children's library
One and the same thing
Tell the mothers to take care of their own children for 2 days
Also one marriage proposal has come
The boy is working in Chennai. In an IT company!
Ok send photo. I'll take a look
Oh! As if you are some Madhubala that you have to look at him
I'll give the number. Call him
Ma, I don't want to call him ma
Pushpavalli. What did you promise me?
Amma, please
Amma... Amma
Hmm?
I've got a job in Bangalore
Hmm-mm?
In a Children's library
- Oh - I have to leave in a week
Oh-ho
Can I get your debit card to book the tickets?
Huh?
Bangalore tickets. Debit card
- To Bangalore? - Yes
Just walk it
Walk and go straight to hell
Pushpavalli, I paid for your food science degree and you want to work in a creche?
No Ma, it's children's library
I don't care
Last month you wanted to study
This month you want to go to Bangalore
Next you will want to wash dirty dishes on the 10th day of a death ceremony
You wanted to be a Donkey but you rubbed rubbed rubbed and became an ant
Amma! What is this…
Pushpavalli, I am not asking you, I am telling you. I am going to look for boys
Okay, Amma. Look for boys ma
See, anyway you only said I can't get married until I am 27
as Saturn is in the 8th position
So until then you look for boys and I'll work
Pushpavalli
Amma, my job's in a children's library so I'll be working around children
It will make me a better wife, ma
Stop it. Don't have to be over smart
You will talk to boys?
Yeah ma. I'll talk
No what?
What?
No, I'm not going to jail for this dumb shit
Yes
No, no
Okay bye, I'll talk to you later
When did you come, madam?
I've been waiting for half an hour
Why are you late?
Where do I begin madam?
Someone stole only the back wheels of all the bikes in this parking lot
Tell me how is this my fault
What?
You have information or not?
Yes, I have
Then give
First you give
Here
Thank you, madam
That's 1000 contacts you have given so far
Madam, they'll install CCTV cameras, won't they?
I have to steal contacts from the library
And also do your CCTV cousin’s job for him?
CCTV Boi, madam
Sir
Give special tea for sir
Eh!
You went to O.K. Rao or not?
Yes! I went
Returning today
Who?
The British
What?
Nikhil sir, madam who else?
I went to his office, they said he is landing today
What time?
Madam, when he lands, he’ll come here to office
He'll park his car here
He smokes here, so he will definitely come to the stall
- Isn’t it? - Okay
- Madam? - Yes?
Is he your brother-in-law?
Did he cheat on your sister and scoot?
Madam!
I've been giving you information for two weeks now
At least tell me what I am doing it for?
Oh, come on!
Now whose helmet is this?
Sorry
Sorry, Pankaj
Oh no no no
Don't apologize to me
Apologize to the publishers, who trusted us with this book
two days before the launch. Alright?
Us!
Nobody else. Us!
And fuck me for giving you the responsibility of just keeping the book
You just had to fucking just keep it!
And you fucking left it lying around like a careless fucking monkey
And I'll tell you something, if there's a fine for this, I'm not paying for this
The library is not paying for this
And I can see you
I can see you trying to sneak in, you piece of shit
How fucking big do you think this place is
that you can just waltz in here without me noticing, huh?
I am sorry, Pankaj
No, no, no
Let me tell you something
I gave you this job because I was your friend
It was a fucking favour, right?
So how about you do me the favour of just coming to work in time for once
I am sorry, Pankaj
No no no, I am tired of people taking me for granted here
Because I am always fucking nice to everybody, right?
No, I am not taking you for granted
I am not talking to you
I am talking to this piece of shit over here
If you ever, once again
Well, hello and welcome to Sunny Side Up
Hello, little one. Would you like to look around?
Go ahead
Actually Pankaj what happened is, something went in my eye
So, I'd gone to the bathroom to wash it
Because I cannot keep my hand on one eye and walk around all day
What the fuck are you talking about?
I am keeping this
And this book shelf is for 0-4 years
Yeah, he's too old for that
And this book shelf is for 5-9 years age group
Okay
And this one here is 10-13 age group
How old is he?
He's 8
-Oh, then 5-9 is perfect for him -Yes
And we have lots of options for 5-9 years, as in
Like this one's a pop up book
And it’s… it's very interesting
Like you read that Humpty Dumpty had a great fall?
He actually has it here
It's like
Like you can see him fall
It's like
It's like one more time
It's actually for 0-4 to years old
It's just in the wrong shelf, sorry
One minute my phone is…
Ma'am, may I borrow your phone, please?
Why?
Actually, the thing is that my headset jack is connected to the battery
and because of which the volume blows up
And after that when I put the charger wire in the same place, the screen also-
- It's okay. It's okay. You can have it
Yeah
Thank you, ma'am
Thank you so much
The customer you are calling is unavailab-
The customer you are calling is unavail-
Hello?
And where's his father?
Oh well, he's actually gone out on a tour
Oh, for how long?
So, he's actually in the merchant navy
So it’s almost about six months
Ah, perfect
Perfect
Yeah…
Yeah. It’s pretty lonely when you’re out there for that long
- You must be... - Always. Always
Excuse me
My phone, please?
Thank you
You borrowed a customer's phone, huh?
Actually the... my phone's jack is connected to my charger
Because of which the volume blew up
and after that when I connected the charger cable to the jack
So that's why I took
Anyway, I'll... I'll go
Excuse me. I think this is for you
No, no, no
I... It's not my call
I don't get calls from unknown numbers so this is for you
Take it
Pick it up…
Pick it up!
Hello?
Say something…
Hello? Who is this?
Say something!
Hello Deepak?
Deepak, Where are you Deepak?
Deepak, in bhelpuri sweet chutney is little less, Deepak
Uh… pani puri also has not come, Deepak
Why, Deepak?
Deepak, actually...
Come soon Deepak
Happy birthday, Deepak
Blow... blow candles, please
Thank you, Deepak, Bye
Thanks
That lady in red had worn high heels yesterday
First her heels fell, then she fell
Happened right here! It was hilarious to look at!
There were two more people
Nikhil is answering his phone, which means he has landed
Has he reached office?
How will he reach office this soon?
He'll be stuck at Hebbal for half an hour at least
Will you tell me as soon as he shows up?
What are you staring at? Will you tell me or not?
I’ll tell, madam
Just get me more contacts
Why?
I gave you 500 contacts in the morning
That was in exchange for the information I gave in the morning
If you want to know when he comes, you need to give more contacts
Business madam
Look, the contacts are in Gauri's system
So I'll get it in the evening, okay?
Then I'll also give you information in the evening only, madam
I’ll do something about Gauri!
Gauri
You’ve sitting in one place for so long
Take a break
Until then, I'll add new members' information onto your system
No, Pushpa
Actually, Pankaj sir doesn't know that I've given you access to the database
If he finds out, he’ll scold me
But thank you so much, Pushpa
You're so sweet
Gauri, what's wrong with your left eye?
What happened?
It's turned red
Huh?
Go and wash your eyes right away
Until then, I'll add new members’ information onto your system
I have eye drops
I'll use them, okay
But thank you so much, Pushpa
You're so sweet
Hey, stop licking that wall
You really need some calcium in your diet, you know that?
Hey, no eating in the library
Hey!
You!
What?
What is that, a cream bun?
Give me that!
Just give it to me
Give it!
Hmm, it's pretty fresh
Where did you get it?
Is it Iyenger’s?
Yeah?
Was it the Mallu place?
Which one was it?
It's Iyenger's
It's definitely Iyenger's
Let me tell you something, alright
When it comes to cream buns, no such thing as too much cream
This one's lacking in the cream department though
Besides, bun kind of makes up for it
You know some people say the Iyenger's make it better than
the Mallu's, but really it all comes down to how fresh it was, you know
You just need to squeeze it out and check
Hey…
Hey!
Where's that book?
Hey! You two!
Where is the book that was there?
Don't lie to me!
Pushpavalli! Pushpavalli!
Gauri!
- Yes - Come here!
Where is the book that was here?
What book, Pankaj?
Adventures of Bingle Bob
What freaking book do you think I'm talking about?
Where is it?
I don't know
You had it last
Yeah, I know I had it
And now, I don't have it with me anymore
Where is it?
I don't know
What the hell were you doing sitting over there?
I kept it right here
I was putting eye drops,
My allergy...
Goddamn it!
I swear it, Gauri
Please, Just freakin’…
Just look for it then
Look for it
Everybody! Kids!
Kids, everyone gather around, come on
Fast!
Alright, we're gonna play a game, alright?
It's called ‘Find the Book for Pankaj Uncle’, alright?
Whoever wins will get… something nice
This kid's gonna buy you guys a cream bun, alright?
Now I want you guys to go out and look for a book
It's called ‘Adventures of Bingle Bob the Brave’
What's it called?
‘The Adventures of Bimble Bob the Brave’
Yeah, alright. Good
It's a yellow colour book
Go out and start
Go
Start!
Gauri, Goddamn it!
You're part of the game now too Go look!
Yeah, okay, okay. I'm looking for it…
Uncle, Uncle, this book?
This is ‘Walter the Walrus’, alright?
He's a Walrus named Walter, not Bingle Bob
Keep looking
Freakin’ home schooled
Gauri why are you looking in the same place?
That's where I freakin' left it!
Why the hell would it be under a freakin’ thinner book than it is?
Uncle, Uncle, this one?
This is ‘Polly, the Penguin's Picnic’
You can read, right?
Do either of these words say Bingle? Bob?
Does it say Adventure?
Right?
No. That means no
Keep looking
Come on!
You’ve got 20 seconds, otherwise nobody wins
Nobody gets a freakin' cream bun today, if you don't freakin' find the book
Gauri, stop looking in the goddamn same place, man
Where's the book?
This is a colouring book
Come on, cream boy
You can do better than this!
Go!
Uncle, uncle, this book?
Good job, calcium boy
Where did you find this?
In this?
Whose bag is this?
Hmm?
This is yours?
No, no, it's Gauri's
Have you been steal-
All the kids, get out!
Everyone go out!
We're gonna try and decide who's the winner, alright?
Get out!
Out!
Gauri, have you been stealing from me?
No, no, I don't know! I am sorry!
Then how did this get inside the bag?
How did this get in?
I don't know
But I swear, I don't know why it’s-
I'm not fucking buying it
You were here with me for 2 fucking years
And I trusted you, Gauri
I trusted you and this is how you repay me
No, believe me
I would never do this
I'm not buying this shit anymore
God knows what the fuck else have you taken from here
It was only an encyclopedia!
What?
It was half torn…
I didn’t-
Get out!
Pankaj
- Get out - Please just listen to me
- I am so sorry - Get out!
I am sorry
Take your bag!
You are fired. Get out!
- Pankaj... - Out!
Pankaj... Pankaj, should I go-
What do you want?
Should I go check on her, please?
Go, do whatever you want. Go
Uh… also, after that can I just go to the-
Just go!
- Here you go, sir
- Here you go, madam
What are you doing, madam?
Waiting, what else?
Where is he?
His car is here, madam
He'll be here soon
Can I sit, madam?
Tell me something
Was he running a chit fund?
Did he run away with your money?
Can you shut up for a 2 minutes?
Go there and stand
Keeps yapping all day long
Sorry, madam
Quality checks not done
What okay?
Quality check is not done!
Why has quality check not been done?
The consignment has come back because of this
You had two weeks to do this, Hebbar
What's going on?
If you're gonna steal from me, I'm gonna fire your ass
- How are you?
- I’m good sir, how about you?
- Good
Oh fuck!
Welcome sir
Which flavour is this cream?
Huh?
Hey! Which flavour is it?
Vanilla sir
- Vanilla. Vanilla - Vanilla?
- Yes - In pink color?
Pink vanilla, sir!
Ah, huh…
Madam!
Shut up
What?
Excuse me, I think he's calling you
Such a weird person!
My helmet
Give my helmet, madam
Give me the helmet!
My... my... my helmet!
Madam!
Mada… madam!