What's keeping this Shravan?
Sorry, sir. Mom was having loose motions, so...
Stop, stop. Please. Not today, Shravan.
You're okay, right?
Very good, because today is not a day for pampering.
And now team
I will tell you all something
which later, you can shout and tell everyone else.
That Malhotra and Sons will, very soon merge with a Japanese company.
Applause, please.
[Applauding]
But sir, what will happen to our salaries and bonuses after the merger?
Relax, Shravan.
Nothing bad will happen.
The Japanese Yen will be our new friend.
[Japanese]
Meaning they will look after us.
And now, hands to your sides
back straight, and raise your voices and repeat after me
Arigato.
Arigato!
Sharma, bend properly, man.
No respect.
-Arigato. -Better.
Hi, Rishabh.
Hi... Rishabh.
Team, this is Mr. Rishabh Jain.
It is because of him that our merger is proceeding perfectly.
So thank you so much, Rishabh.
No, no, I've to actually...
Arigato!
Namaste.
They are so excited, so happy.
The merger isn't happening.
Yes. I know the merger isn't happening
that's why we're celebrating. Someone, champagne.
Shravan, please.
Okay, best of luck, step back Rishabh.
Rishabh, the merger... isn't happening!
What do you mean not happening?
Japan's been hit by the recession.
The deal's off.
Off meaning?
Off, meaning my contract's gone, man.
I'm not understanding what to say to Saurabh.
He's sitting with Yoyo planning the wedding.
I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent going forward.
Off meaning?
Explain it to your boss.
Sir, "off" means the Yen is no longer our friend, sir.
Your Rupee will have to take care of all of us.
Do you think I should tell Saurabh?
Should I tell him the truth?
We love each other, man.
I should tell him, no?
Just say that the contract is cancelled.
What's the most I'll lose?
Rishabh. Rishabh.
I don't know why you're in so much tension about the results.
Just relax. I mean, nerds always get a positive result.
Oh, shut up, Jia.
Okay, I'm going to meet Rocky.
So Rocky's final?
Um, Adi's been missing for so many days
so yeah I guess Rocky it is.
-Tell me when the result arrives. -Yes.
Like I said Rocky, I want to get this done today.
I cannot take any more stress.
[Doorbell rings]
Yug?
How do you know?
I know this tense expression.
Go on, Dia is upstairs.
Zoru, we're leaving.
Oh hi, who are you?
Hi aunty, I'm Yug.
Oh hi, I'm Shefali. I'm Dia's mother.
And this is Rishabh, Dia's dad.
Failure.
He's not feeling well today.
Oh, then do one thing, uncle take this apple.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Dia was right, you know.
Don't know about handsome and charming
but sweet and caring for sure.
Come on, baby.
Failure.
Hey, don't be so stressed, Dia. Just be positive.
I'm late.
No, you're not.
There's still time for the results to come in, silly.
I'm late... with my periods.
Yug.
Okay, okay, okay.
Be positive.
Rishabh, talking lightens the mind.
Try.
How will mom's temple be made now?
Mom's found a new God.
Live.
Jia-Dia's education.
See, Jia isn't going to get admission in any college
Dia will get a scholarship.
Zoru's wedding.
It's been cancelled for a while now.
My red sports car.
That...
What?
Yes.
I was going to book one for you too.
Oh...okay.
Oh, and sorry, Doc.
Your fees.
Oh come on Rish...I'm there.
And my new cafÃ©. We'll manage.
That's great.
My trip to Brazil. Remember?
What do we do? What do we do? What do we do?
I mean...according to probability
Yug, can you please sit down. I'm getting dizzy looking at you.
To be fair, that's probably not because of me, Dia.
To be fair, it's definitely because of you, Yug.
Oh, so this is my fault?
Fault?
No, no, no I-I didn't mean it like that.
Dia, maybe we're overreacting.
I mean, we don't even know for sure.
I'll go get the pregnancy test.
I got 1580 on 1600.
I got 15...
50
I'm sorry, Yug.
Hey, there's no need for you to apologise.
Okay, I'll be back.
You keep this.
Oh, God! I don't believe it.
Neither can I.
Rish, this is good news.
Dia's SAT results just came in, and it's 1580, boss.
Oh, congratulations.
Doc, my daughter's a genius.
Ours, Shef. Ours.
At least don't take this away from me.
Oh God Rish, just snap out of it. Don't be so silly.
I'm trying. I'm trying. It's just not happening.
Okay, Rish, listen to me.
Think of yourself as this apple.
This apple?
This apple.
Now imagine the various benefits of an apple.
Eat it, and it satiates your hunger.
Bake it, and it turns into apple pie.
If it's from Kashmir, tourists buy it.
And if it's Adam's
then it sets an important distinction.
Right?
Yes, but when it's not used, it rots.
Correct.
But then it's used to make jam.
And that jam's smeared on hot toast.
Shefali, what are you trying to say?
Let me handle this.
Rish, our entire family loves jam.
We love you, Rish.
You're our Jam.
And you only said your life's most important merger is me.
I did, Shef. That's true.
So then just smile, right?
This is so wonderful.
That's the miracle of therapy.
But we'll split this session's fees 50-50, Doc.
Shefali.
Mummyji, tell me.
A little more to the left. Higher...yes.
-Enough? -Put it a little more to the left, like this.
-Yes. -What's going on?
Oh Dia, I brought your favourite sweets.
Eat.
Congratulations
and celebrations!
-You've done what, -Rish and I could never ever do!
Yay!
But you have...thrice.
Huh?
Oh Diu...
1580 boss! 1580!
I am so proud of you, Dia, so proud.
Me too. And I'm not even surprised.
Neither am I.
-Hi, mom. -Hi, dear.
I came running the moment I heard Dia's good news.
Good news?
If not good news, should it be bad news?
My Dia's done such a big thing at such a young age.
Does that mean you're all happy about this?
Bro, why wouldn't we be happy?
And who are you?
Oh Rish, this is Yug.
Because of whom Dia has never looked so happy before.
Her face is glowing so much.
So you are happy as well?
But why wouldn't she be happy, her results are so positive.
Oh...you're Yug.
Okay.
Yes, uncle.
Glad to see you're feeling better.
Oh, that apple helped in more ways than one.
Did you bring that apple?
Welcome to the family, son.
Welcome to the family.
Now two celebrations need to take place!
One for Dia's SAT result, and the second for finding a boyfriend.
Oh...so you all were talking about the SAT results.
So what else should we talk about?
Are you okay, son?
Do you need a doctor?
This, I mean, how will our girl bonding happen?
You never celebrate my good news.
What is your good news?
Ma remember,Shefali's cafÃ© is opening. It's the biggest news.
-Yes! -CafÃ©, cafÃ©, yes!
Oh my God!
We must raise a toast to her!
Go get champagne. The expensive kind.
I'll get one right away. Do you have a car?
Yes, uncle.
Automatic or manual?
Manual.
Come on. Very good. Come with me.
I've to talk to you about nature,
-the birds and the bees... -Change your clothes first!
-Get the expensive kind. -You're in your pyjamas...
What's going on?
Okay, guys.
Since it's a party today, I'm thinking
I'll call Dumbbell and Doofus as well.
More the merrier.
I'm thinking of calling Rosh as well.
Most the merriest.
Done.
-Um, so I'll see you in the evening. -Yup. Yup.
- I'll see you in the evening. - Oh! Okay.
Bye bye.
Okay.
Dia, I'll go and see to things tonight. Okay?
Party time!
-Hello, baby. -Hello, baby.
Why do these birds keep turning all the time?
I always fix them but someone keeps turning them.
Saurabh, we'll do something.
Nothing will happen.
Saurabh!
Listen to me, man!
Saurabh, one second.
Dear, Dia.
My granddaughter.
-Rosh. -Hi uncle.
Oh, hello. How are you?
I'm good, how are you?
Why are you being so negative?
I'm trying, aren't I?
I'll figure something out.
I'm telling you. It will all happen.
Oh God, Doofus, what's to figure out?
Guys, what's the most important thing in a wedding?
Love.
No!
Venue and menu.
And you two already have that. For free.
-How? -Shef the Chef's new cafÃ©.
Thank you so much, Shef
but I really don't want to get married in a cafÃ©.
-Come on. -You're so materialistic, Dumbbell.
I mean, if you love the other person
how does it matter where you're getting married?
What?
Oh, God. I think I'm a little...
Let me get something to eat.
You're really being unreasonable about this.
These recycled cups were initially supposed to be used in my wedding.
But now, maybe it'll be used at your wedding.
Come, have a drink.
I have yoga tomorrow. Thank you.
Yug.
May I?
And why are you without a hat, young lady?
Ah...
Why is your mood off today?
Don't be disheartened, Rishu.
You're the only son of Malhotra and Sons.
I'm sure you'll make your papa proud.
You know, ma...
From Roshan, it occurs to me that if I knew the merger wasn't going to happen
then maybe I...
What?
I'm just joking, ma. Just joking.
Rascal!
Oh forget it, Rish.
At least I'm a man of my word.
So did I cause the recession?
Am I responsible for everything?
Hey Jia...
where were you all this time?
Actually, I was with Rocky.
Hi...Rocky final?
-I guess. -Good.
I like Rocky.
-Now let's party. -I'll go get changed.
Let's party.
Death by Chocolate with strawberries.
You really have to do it all by yourself.
Right, Shef?
Shef, Jia's made her decision.
-Okay. -Rocky it is.
Really?
I liked Adi better.
Adi is sweet as well, but I like Rocky.
Plus we have more in common.
And his name starts with an 'R'.
Then go give Roshan uncle a tight hug.
Cheers.
-Good health. -Good to meet you.
Where's your drink?
-I'm not drinking. -See...
He's got yoga, he's not drinking, you're not drinking.
-At least have one drink, I'll get you one... -Her...
Her blood sugar's gotten a bit high.
So no alcohol.
Too many ice-creams lately.
Genuine excuse.
Rish, I really need to talk to you about something.
Dad...where's Yug?
He went with you, right?
After that, I sent him to pick up Yoyo
from Tiara's sister, Sash's birthday party.
One second, does Yoyo know Yug?
No!
You sent a random stranger to pick up Yoyo?
What is wrong with you, Rish?
It's a test. It's a test, Shef.
I've told him a thousand times not to sit in some random stranger's car.
We will see whether he passes or fails.
God, not another test.
Unbelievable.
[Doorbell rings] Be right back.
This is you after two years of therapy!
Let me call Princess.
Who is Princess?
Tiara's mum for God's sake.
Ta-da!
Hello, Yellow.
Hello, Zoru.
Come please, we were waiting for you.
Oh ho!
How are you?
This Princess is still in her castle
she's not picking up her phone, Dia.
Call Yug and ask him if Yoyo's with him or not.
Mom, his phone's switched off. I've been trying for such a long time.
Dia, Yug isn't a child trafficker, right?
What? No, mom.
All three vans of Massage on Wheels have been delivered.
They're parked downstairs.
-Parked downstairs? -Yes.
Why?
You only said that the merger will be confirmed any day now.
So I sold Vaishali's jewellery and bought them.
Oh my God, Surya.
Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me?
I'll replace them before she returns from America.
Surya...the merger's been cancelled.
Haha, yes, I know. The merger's been cancelled.
That's why I sold Vaishali's...
The merger's been cancelled?
I know. Listen. Don't worry. Everything will be fine, okay.
Don't worry.
Yes yes, everything will be fine.
Okay, I'll... take a seat.
Sit down, sit down.
-What's happening? -Actually, I'll...I'll lie down.
Yes, you can lie down.
Hey Rishabh, I'll...I'll faint.
Surya?
-What happened? -What happened?
Fainted. -Oh my God!
Oh my God!
Don't worry, don't worry.
Let me see.
His pulse is normal.
The body's still warm.
This has all happened because of me.
Rish, you better be sure this Yug is not a child kidnapper, okay!
-He's not picking up the phone, man! -Shef, forget that.
-Surya fainted. -So what should I do?
Does anyone know how to give an enema...
I mean CPR...does anyone know how to do it?
Mouth to mouth?
-I can. -Hey...it hasn't been a day since I lost my job
and you're already ready to give mouth to mouth to someone else?
I like yellow.
Rish, do something, son.
Where is my son, man?
Forget your son. He's my Surya.
-Someone step forward! -You take the step, son.
Move.
Surya.
Surya, listen to me. Surya!
Surya. Surya.
Rishabh, the heart's on the left side.
Yeah.
Surya. Surya. Nothing's happening.
Rish, hold his nose with your fingers
open his mouth and blow, like you blow a balloon.
-Do it. -That's a good idea.
Like this?
Guys, nothing's happening.
Again.
Rish, as if kissing Jethmalani was not enough.
-Hi, mom. -Yoyo, baby.
Are you okay? All in one piece?
-All fine? -What happened to Surya uncle?
He's fainted, son. Do something.
-He'll do it? -What will the child do?
-Hey, hey... -What?
Organic dung to the rescue.
Ew, Yoyo. Where did you get that?
Tiara's sister, Sash gave it to me as a return gift.
-Oh, lovely. -Dung?
-Return gift? -Can I see it?
Oh wow...
-It's disgusting... -Oh my God!
Okay, okay, okay
-You keep it. It will come in handy. -Yeah, I need a drink
So Tiara's sister is Sash and her mummy's name is Princess.
I mean is this okay family?
Will you eat something?
You want something?
I'm so sorry, man. Are you okay?
Yes. I had a nightmare.
Forget it, okay?
Dia scored 1560 on her SATs.
-Wow. -Let's party.
Okay.
Put this on your head.
-I'll go make a drink. -Go make a drink.
1580...
Dia scored 1580.
Right.
-Are you okay? -Sorry, it's just been a...
It's been a long day.
Yes, I'm fine, it's just...
I couldn't fulfil Surya's expectations, so it's been a little...
I can give you a motivational speech like a dad but...
I won't.
Great.
But as a friend, I can drink a whiskey with you.
That is a very good idea.
I'll just get one.
Well, hello Jiakins.
Hi, RJ.
That's an interesting outfit by the way.
I'm cheating on fashion with comfort, RJ.
So I guess you chose your flavour, then?
I guess.
Switch on, man!
Use the switch.
The switch.
That's it.
Okay, uncle.
Dia told me about your problem.
She has made her decision. What have you thought?
Um...
I think we should keep the child, uncle.
Child?
What child?
I was... talking about East Coast and West Coast colleges.
Oh...
Well...
she's taking the test upstairs.
Are you ready to be a father at this age?
[Doorbell rings]
I'm opening it!
But where is he? I don't see him at the party.
He's gone out with his family.
Hi.
I guess his plans got cancelled.
Um...What plans?
[Humming]
Buddy, why have you been behind me since the morning?
Why?
NazÃ©?
No, no, no Rish.
No more Japanese.
Dia.
Dia, listen.
Dia, I won't run.
So don't be scared, okay?
And...and whatever the result
I'll...I'll always be here for you.
Dia.
It's negative, Yug.
-It's positive. -No, no, it's negative.
-Take a look! -It's positive, take a look!
So this is why you were inside the room for so long?
What did I tell you about the birds and the bees?
Dad...I passed this test as well, right? So...
please, relax.
Don't tell me to relax.
And we're not done with this chat.
But if your test is negative then...
Other than you, there are two other women in this house.
Not two, dad.
Three.
You mean...
Already a very small career in this...
Ma? No!
-According to probability... -Shut up, Yug.
That absolutely can't happen.
I can't have a brother, okay?
Yes, so it can be a sister as well.
Okay, take him away, I'm going to kill him.
Yug, let's go. Dad, we'll figure this out tomorrow.
We will.
Don't worry, please. Please.
You know me, Rocky.
I cannot take any more stress.
[Doorbell rings]
-But I promise... -You?
Nice hat.
Thanks.
I got your text.
I've missed you.
Rish...what's going on in Jia's life?
Shef, I don't know what's going on in my life.
Actually, Rish, I want to tell you something.
But I'm not feeling too well.
I'll just throw up and be right back.
What?
You never celebrate my good news.
Where's your drink?
I'm not drinking.
Rocky final?
I guess.
Be positive!