[TV playing]
[door bell ringing]
[TV playing]
Zoru, open the door.
It's your turn. I opened the door last time.
- Hi. - Hi. - Hi.
- How was your day? - Nice.
- Your granny didn’t irritate you too much, right? - Irritate?
- Yes? - No. Granny is the bomb.
Really? When will it burst?
Mom, relax. Granny didn't give me Fatafat.
Really? Hmm.
Show me your foot.
Hmm. Does your Granny teach you anything else...
...besides eating Fatafat and how to lie?
No. That's it for the day. She has to go for a prayer meet.
Even you have to go, to your room. Leave.
Oh...
- Hi. - Hi. How was your day?
- Hmm? - Good.
Chocolate.
More chocolate.
Let me check your legs.
Nice.
I don't even know how it happened.
- Just… It’s shocking… I'll... Yeah. - Hmm.
Okay, here. Sorry.
[Title Montage]
Rish.
-[Rishabh] Hmm. - Wake up.
Rish.
- Sorry, I'm really tired. - Why?
Because Rish can't wake up at seven even after seven alarms...
...to drop Yohan to the bus stop.
But he can wake up at four without any alarm...
...to watch India's tour of Australia.
[Rishabh] Shef, you know, I love cricket.
Don't you love Yohan? Shall I give him to someone?
Here you go. Don't be ridiculous now, man.
Who will take Yohan? Anyone will?
Well, even I like cricket a lot.
- Really? - Especially India's tour of Australia.
- It's very important to win the toss. - Yes.
Win the toss and bat first.
- Runs on the board. - Runs on the board.
That's really quite silly.
It's not a board game.
Really, runs should be on the field not the board.
Uhh... Let's start our session.
Right. So, I think that Rish is a complete failure...
...when it comes to disciplining Yohan.
He's getting spoilt with every passing day.
Man, he is naughty, not spoilt.
He glued Pratik with an IK's both hands on the blackboard...
...with a strong adhesive gum.
And you are saying, he's naughty.
It was a little funny, man.
He is a kid. He'll be mischievous.
[Rishabh] Plus there were only two-three kids in the class.
- So, your image is very safe. - Really?
Your son’s sticky story has got stuck on YouTube.
40,000 views.
There's no image left to protect.
Oh. That's not good.
What did you do then? Strict punishment?
Oh, no... Not strict punishment.
- Intelligent punishment. - Intelligent punishment?
What's that?
A type of punishment in which the person being punished doesn't realise...
...that he's being punished.
- I read it in Great Parenting. - Great.
So, how is Rishabh’s negligence involved in practising this theory?
- Thank you. - Ah... Wait.
I'll tell you.
[Shefali] Yohan.
Yohan, look. You did a good job by abusing Zoru.
I think he deserves that.
But it also means that you aren't covering your ears at the right time...
...while watching Great Adventure.
Which means that you should take a short break from watching television.
So that you can learn how to cover your ears at the right time.
[Shefali] And also so that Uncle Ali’s videos don't go to waste. Right?
So, for one week, no television. Is that okay?
Okay.
Okay. That's a good boy.
Wow, Shef.
I mean you explained it to him with so much of love and intelligence.
You’re a great mom, Shef!
- Thanks, Rish. - I'm proud of you.
Yohan, do you know...
...you're very very lucky to have her as your mom!
If it were my mom, she would slap me first...
...and then explain to me what my mistake was.
Where are you going?
Yohan, even I want to tell you something.
So, Yohan.
I heard from your school...
...that you left your homework incomplete once again.
[Rishabh] Look, Yohan. This can mean only one thing.
That is, you used less papers.
Which means that somewhere you have saved one or two trees.
And if you have saved a few trees, these trees must have a few birds on it.
With birds comes nests and these nests will have eggs.
But those eggs fall down even if there is a slight breeze.
And these crushed egg shells on the ground…
…ants really like them.
So, a lot of ants come there.
And along with ants, bees arrive.
[Rishabh buzzing]
And bees mean honey.
- Isn't it, honey? - Yeah.
And along with that the ecosystem keeps growing.
Are you understanding the connections?
But what happens is...
...humans come between all this.
[Rishabh] And bees don't like human beings.
So, they bite the human beings.
[Rishabh] And that causes pain.
And when you're hurt, you need medicines.
When you buy medicines, your expenses go up.
[Rishabh] It can also affect our GDP.
And of course, the dollar rate starts rising.
Everything will become expensive once the oil prices go up.
Then I shouldn't have bought mutual funds.
I should've just bought gold.
But everybody will be stressed.
Oh, no! Then there'll be anger.
Depression, mental break downs, war, curfew.
There'll be curfew. All the shops will shut down.
If all the shops shut down, then even the apple shop will be closed.
And if the apple shop is closed, then the doctor will have to come home.
And then he'll charge double, triple and sometimes five times the price.
I'll have to pay the bill. I'll run out of money.
I ran out of money. I have no money.
- Yohan... - What...
I have no money. I can't buy you an iPad.
I hate you.
Yohan.
If you'll scream like this...
...the neighbours will think that I have beaten you up.
Okay? Then they'll come here.
They'll ring the doorbell.
And since it’s my house, I’ll decide whether to or not to open the door.
Okay? But I'll open the door.
But I know that they'll take me to task as I open the door.
They'll try to slap me.
But I won't be scared.
Will I get scared?
Yes. I got it.
I gave you a homework last week.
Shall we talk about it?
Which homework?
I said that before you criticise a person…
…try to compliment at least one good quality of theirs.
Did you try?
[Shefali clears her throat]
[Rishabh] Jia. Jia!
Jia. How many times am I supposed to repeat the same thing to you?
I mean, when will you listen to me?
Rish, before you point out her flaws...
...say something nice, baby.
Oh, yeah. Okay, think...
Yes. Your nail polish, it's really pretty.
It's really exceptional.
Now, tell me, why every morning you leave your dirty, wet towel on the bed?
Why can't you put it in the washing machine?
Hey, Rish. It's okay, no? Let it go.
Yeah, Dad. It's... It's okay.
Oh and you, Dia.
- Nice things. - Nice things. - Be positive.
Nice things.
What is it?
All right. Your good quality is that you aren't Jia.
Dad, let alone saying it, how can you even think like that?
You know what? That's so rude.
- Oh. "That's so rude." - Yeah. - And this?
- Nice things. - Nice things. That's right.
Happy thoughts. Positive thoughts.
[Shefali] Sunny thoughts.
Nice things. You know what?
I'll do it myself. It's easy.
I'll do it myself.
[Rishabh] To hell with nice things.. Bloody Gulfam.
Listening to you, it seems like...
...your kids run away from their responsibilities.
Do any of them help you with household chores?
Yohan. In the laundry department.
That useless boy, makes his clothes so dirty...
…that it’s useless to wash them.
Just throw them in the dustbin and buy new clothes.
This could also be a generation gap problem.
Any challenges in communication?
It's not so much with Jia and Dia as it is with Yohan.
- He's a bit… Weird. - Clearly.
He's not weird. I mean... He's different.
He's like an alien. You know.
But I think all the kids these days are like that.
- Solar power. - Hmm.
Actually, if the matter is restricted to your kid...
...you can explain things by scolding them.
But if someone else's child is involved...
...then there could be a little confusion in practicing right parenting.
Yeah.
True.
Veggies.
What is this? Yuck.
Yoyo, next time think before you open your mouth over food…
... because you'll end up with either a candy or a cane.
[Shefali] Okay? Just eat and enjoy your food.
But it is yuck.
Uhh… Very good, Pratik with an "IK". Yes?
I think that your taste buds have an individuality of their own.
Which is a very good thing.
Yes. Of course... I completely agree.
- Mom, this tastes like potty. - Huh?
Yohan, have you ever tasted potty?
- But it does taste like potty. This is potty pasta. - Hmm.
Oh, God!
Uhh… Pratik with an "IK"...
...you have already named my dish.
I think you're going to be a chef when you grow up.
That too a much better one than me.
- Of course... But why he has to be a chef, Shef? - Yes.
He will be the owner of a diner.
You'll grow up and be an entrepreneur.
- I want ice-cream. - Sure.
I want ice-cream, too.
- First, you finish your potty pasta. - First, you finish your potty pasta.
- Wrong kid. - First, you finish your potty pasta.
Rishabh.
If I ask you to rate Shefali's parenting skills on a scale of 10...
...how much would you rate it?
Without a doubt, 10 on 10.
Shef is an amazing mom.
Shefali, how much would you rate Rishabh?
Seven.
Baby, seven?
- I just gave you 10 on 10. - So?
You expect me to rate you 10 on 10, too.
Is this a Bollywood award function that I have to make everyone happy?
Okay. Doc, I want to change my answer.
I'll rate Shef six. Six.
Huh! Such a kid!
Sorry, 5.5.
Worse than Yoyo.
Guys... Guys, please.
No, he started with 10, and now he has come down to 5.5.
Does it even make sense?
Well, suddenly, I remembered all your shortcomings.
- Shortcomings? - Yes, faults, mistakes, problems.
- Really? - Yeah. - Like what?
Like...
[Rishabh] Like... Yes. I'll tell you.
- One day... - [TV playing]
- What do you think, brother? - Whenever I open my mouth, something bad happens.
Please don't say that.
[door bell ringing]
Sister!
It's your turn, you lazy bum.
- Get the door. - See, brother.
Shef, don't be violent.
You just have to play singles now.
[Jia] ♪My eyes are locked with yours, darling♪
- Wow. - Is that Jia's voice?
♪My eyes are locked with...♪
Wow, Jia.
- You're singing. - Hmm.
- But are there no more lines in this song? - Hmm?
Actually, nothing matters.
At least, you can sing four lines at once.
In fact, baby, your voice is so good...
...could be so much better.
Shef has the habit of blowing things up and praising our kids unnecessarily.
And it's really, really out of proportion.
Nonsense.
[Rishabh] It's true. It's totally true.
And that's why I have to step in.
It's a tough job, but I have to do it...
...so that Shef can be a good mom.
You're right.
In fact, my daughter's voice is so incredibly so-so...
...that I left the match to come here.
[Rishabh] Very good, Jia.
And you know, we have come across so many so-so voices in our lives...
...that we can spot it just like that.
- Am I right? - Of course, Shef. Of course. I completely agree.
[Rishabh] In fact, I'll say one thing.
You’ve the best so-so voice I've ever heard.
Practice. Practice.
I'm going to Jigna's birthday party.
How do I look?
- So-so. - So-so.
Hmm.
Is there any other situation...
...in which you were happy with your parenting skills?
Shef, I was thinking, today we both should...
Baby, not today. I'm quite exhausted.
Shef, every time you give the same excuse, man!
It's not fair.
If this continues, we will never be able to do it.
But, baby , I'm not in the mood today.
But I'm in the mood.
Come on, let's just do it.
Booboo. Tomorrow. I promise. Tomorrow...
But I want to do it now. Now...
Why can't we ever do it whenever I want to do it? Ever?
Okay. Come, let's do it.
All right.
Jia, Dia. We would like to talk to you about something. - Hmm.
You're getting into a habit of doing things late.
As in, procrastination.
Yes, procrastination.
It's completely unacceptable, okay?
I don't care how tired you are or whatever.
Make a habit of finishing things on the day they are supposed to.
[Rishabh] Okay?
- Got it, girls? - Got it. - Got it.
- Good night. - Good night.
- Let's go to sleep. - We should always do it now, booboo.
It's not easy to be good parents.
It takes time.
And if you're Rishabh, you need more time.
But we handled the procrastination situation really well. Huh?
You even called me booboo.
Yes. But I was with you in that situation.
[Gulfam] Shefali.
Do you think Rishabh can't be a good parent on his own?
Well, Rishabh is good at heart.
But when it comes to practical implementation...
...he’s a disaster.
Meaning?
Jia.
Jia, have I ever told you why you're called Jia?
You know, when you were born...
...my heart was overflowing with joy.
And that's why you're called Jia.
Really? What's the matter, Dad?
Do you want something?
No, I don't want anything. I'm just watching TV.
Yeah, so... What were we talking about?
Yes.
So, Jia, I'm sure mom has spoken to you about it.
About what?
About that.
Mmm... Honey bee and the flowers.
You know...
Aladdin's lamp and the cave.
Dear, the ding-dong.
Ping pong.
Two plus two equals five.
The phone and the charger.
Pencil and the sharper.
- What? - Sex, Jia. About sex.
Oh, God, Dad. Why can’t you just say sex?
What is this ding dong. Ping pong.
Aargh! Pencil, charger, phone.
You’re so weird.
Okay. So you know everything about that then.
Yes, Dad. I know everything.
Everything?
Yes, I mean...
...I know whatever I should know.
Like I should be safe and all.
- I know everything. - Okay. Very good...
Good.
So, Jia.
I want you to do me a favour now.
I want you to talk about that to Yohan.
- What? - Because I find it very weird to talk to him. He's...
- ...a bit weird. - No. Dad...
- No, Dad... - This is your responsibility as a sister. - Dad...
- Yohan! - Dad, he's my younger brother.
- Yohan, come downstairs. - Dad...
- Your Jia di wants to explain something to you. - Dad, no!
Dad... - Shh... That's it.
- I'm proud of you. - Dad... Dad!
Tell me, Jiadi.
Hi.
So because of all these reasons you gave Rishabh such a low score out of 10.
Is he really such a bad father?
No, Rish isn't bad.
In fact, Rish is quite emotional.
I remember when Jia and Dia were born...
...Rish started singing the song "Two angels have arrived at my home".
And even today when that song plays on the radio...
...he gets emotional.
How sweet.
And Yohan. What did you sing when he was born?
When Yohan was born...
...he was crying so loudly...
- ...that everyone in the hospital got a fright. - Yeah.
If someone had tried to sing a lullaby to him then…
...he would have cried even harder.
They say…
"Those who used to cry are making you cry today."
"Don't know what kind of tactics they're using to make you pay."
- Well said. - Yes.
Yohan may be weird, but he's not my enemy.
I mean, he loves his father.
- I think. - Yeah...
I hope.
Of course. Let's change the topic.
Holidays are around the corner. Any plans?
Oh, just the other day, Rishabh and I...
- ...were talking about the holidays. - Yeah.
How nice.
Rish, man! Shall we go out of town during the holidays?
Yes, please. Where do you want to go?
Are you serious?
Let's go to a place where along with the kids we can also have some fun.
Really... I agree, man!
I mean... Do you remember how many holidays...
...we used to take before we had kids?
- Hmm... - How much fun we'd have. - Yes? - Yes.
How much fun we were. Life was fun.
It was. Where did those days go?
They are gone.
Shef, shall we go to Sri Lanka?
Seriously?
I thought you might suggest Goa again.
Hey... Who goes to Goa?
Sri Lanka. Rich people's Goa.
- Really? - Yeah..
In Sri Lanka, you've nature trails, beautiful beaches.
You've got massages.
And coconut water from those tender coconuts, the small ones...
- ...which they freeze before giving. - I love it.
Mimosas. Lots of mimosas.
- And a two bedroom suite. - Nice.
You're getting so romantic at the planning stage.
I hope that you aren't kidding.
Shef, from today you call me Rishie Rish, baby.
We all are going to Sri Lanka and that's final.
Yay!
- I'll start my research from tomorrow, okay? - Okay.
And I'll buy a book titled, "Things To Do In Sri Lanka".
You know Ravi and Reva went to Sri Lanka.
In fact, Reva told me it was amazing.
Ravi surfed as well.
So what? I can surf better than him.
Have you heard of aerial surfing?
It's next level, baby.
- I'll show you. - Oh, wow.
I'll go with an ever better bikini bod than Reva.
- I promise you. - Even I'm going to get serious now.
I'm going to join the gym tomorrow.
I'm going to eat right. I'm going to get abs. Proper abs.
Don't worry. We are going this year.
Okay. Rish, I can't believe you are saying all this.
Because it is going to be an expensive trip.
- We can afford it, right? - Of course, we can.
- It's just the five of us. -[Shefali] Right.
What I'm going to do is...
I'm going to check their foreign affairs ministry website.
- Okay. - To find out if there's any stress of LTT or JVP. - Yes.
Any left bank factions and what not.
- Okay... - And you do one thing.
Call up Doctor Kapadia tomorrow.
- Okay. - Ask him if the kids need any vaccines.
I mean, they are going to a tropical place, right?
- Correct. - There could be like all kinds of water-borne diseases.
Yeah. Absolutely.
Rish, they get tsunamis too, right?
That's true.
I'm really scared of them.
I feel really bad for the families.
They all go there singing Ringa Ringa Roses, holding hands like this.
But then they end up playing hide and seek.
Oops.
Well, Shef. We do have nature and nature trails in Goa as well.
There are beaches, coconut water, massages.
- Mimosas too. - Hmm. - And a two bedroom suite as well.
Right?
And anyway, you're Rishie Rish, not Richie Rich.
Goa is great. Goa is like my dress sense.
It never goes wrong.
- That's right. -[Shefali] Isn't it?
- Goa's home. - Yeah... - It's like the best. - Yes.
And we'll have lots of fun.
Kids will be sipping milkshakes in the pool. Okay?
And we will be sipping Mimosas sitting poolside.
And I'm going to finish reading, "Things to do in Sri Lanka".
- Perfect. Goa it is. - Goa it is.
- It's awesome. - Okay. - Let's go to Goa.
Yeah. Yeah... This is great.
One minute...
So, you'll go to Goa and read, "Things To Do in Sri Lanka".
Poolside?
What's wrong with it?
We've seen half the world just like that.
Of course.
For instance, "Things to do in Australia"...
- We read it in Lonavala. - Yeah.
- Gold Coast. - Stunning. Great sea food.
Before the session ends, please tell me...
...how do you spend time together as a family?
I mean, when not on vacation.
We don't.
Because Rish spends all his free time with Surya and Zoru.
Brother, taking a walk in the mall is a great idea.
Sightseeing along with exercising. Wow.
- Thank you. - Good combination. - Thank you very much.
Dude, but I'm feeling a bit weak. Shall we go to the food court?
But it's been just eight minutes.
No, eight and a half minutes.
But where do we go?
Ah... How about McDonald's?
How about Happy Meals. You get both fries to eat and toys to play with.
Not McDonald's, man!
Last night, we had to order dinner from there.
What are you saying? Which toy did you get?
What happened? Vaishali didn't cook dinner?
She did. That's why I had to place an order.
[all laughing]
I think Shefali sister and Vaishali sister are from the same place.
- Same to same. - No...
Not at all.
If you eat Shefali's chicken curry...
...I guarantee you will become a vegetarian.
That's true. Let the chicken's soul rest in peace.
This is nothing. If you eat Vaishali's chicken curry...
...you will think that the chicken has run away! Because you will be just left with a broth of spices.
- Huh? - Hey, don't worry too much.
Shef's roast scares the ghost.
Vaishali's lentil curry makes me worry.
Hey, Shef's flatbread makes me dread.
Vaishali's okra looks more like cobra.
[Rishabh] And Shef's biryani is like a tasteless macaroni.
[Surya] Vaishali's fritters will always give you jitters.
Enough...
I can't take it anymore.
I really pity you both.
Shall we go to McDonald's?
Yes. Let's go.
- Let's go. - Let's go.
- So we'll eat... - Burgers, fries. - Yes. Of course, fries.
[Theme Music Playing]