Remember you wore that red saree on Teachers' Day?
You look even prettier today.
I mean, really nice.
Look, I know you're leaving but.. I was just saying that we-
Don't touch me! Who are you?
I don't want to listen to anything, you creep!
Just leave me alone!
What are you doing, dude?
You only asked me to talk like girls.
Girls talk to me like that.
I asked you to talk like Chavi.
Susu, Chavi likes Dhruv, right?
Talk like that, okay?
Oh, you should have mentioned that first.
Let's do this quickly.
My aunt must be looking for the wig.
So.. I was saying-
Kabir, please say 'Action'?
Action.
Chavi, I just wanted to say that-
Shhh! Don't say anything handsome.
Just tell me, your father's place? Or my father's place?
How did he even reach 11th standard?
Susu, you're deliberately doing this, right?
Susu? Who is this Susu?
Are you seeing someone else?
By the way he seems like a stud going by his name.
Kabir you promised to tell me what to do on a date in exchange of a samosa.
What is this?
Dude, even the time and place have not been decided yet.
I've finally gotten into the zone. And now you are wasting my time.
Don't take so much stress, man. You are getting nervous for nothing.
This is your first date, right? It happens.
Trust me, I'm an expert. I've only been on first dates.
I think you should text her. I've thought this through.
Why don't you think before doing anything?
Pink makes me look chubby, right?
This one?
No! Why are you going on the date? And that too with Dhruv?
You insisted so much when it was Shantanu?
"You should go. It's just a date. What would happen?"
Dude, he's a Gemini. You're a Libra.
Of course I'd insist!
And anyway everybody thought Shantanu was a nice guy.
I was like why not?
"Nice"? He was crazy! He took me to an oldage home for a date.
He said "Chavi you have such beautiful eyes. Please donate them."
I somehow managed to get out of it by citing long distance excuses.
Dhruv.
He's asking for a movie. At 3pm.
Why do you even want to go? You're going to Kota for two years.
What's wrong with this internet?
See! Even the wifi isn't working. The universe is giving you a sign!
Seriously Chavs? Will you directly get into a long distance after the first date?
Long distance works right? -Yes of course! I've four of them.
Every month I send them dollars from dad's card. To Nigeria.
Dude you- -Bro focus here.
Tell me, what will you do on the date?
Again? -Of course!
In the year 2005, after his first kiss,
the certified love guru of Sacred Heart High School..
Lakshman Bhaiyya (brother)
uhh..I mean, LLEO bhaiyya.
...shared the secret of his success with all the single guys.
The Triple H Rule
(Hold hands, make her laugh, Hashmi kiss)
First take her out for a movie. -Horror movie.
Actually girls are fainthearted.
A girl once held my hand during 'Bhootnath Returns' too.
Then? -Then I'll take her to a place she likes.
Take her to the school. She likes it a lot. She comes there everyday.
Hey! Keep your shitty ideas to yourself.
-I was just trying to save money.
Take her to a romantic place. And talk girly things.
Pink colour, Feminism, eyeliner and all.
And crack some jokes in a while. And everyone knows that if a girl smiles-
-then the joke was funny!
You got it, right? -Now the last step..
The 3rd 'H'
Kiss! -No.. the Hashmi (Indian actor) kiss.
On the lips.
(sings Bollywood song) "My wet lips..."
Dude but kiss on the first date? What if she doesn't want to?
Dude just play some romantic Shahrukh song. Girls get the 'feel' of kissing.
And listen. You have just this one date.
If you kissed her, then she's your girlfriend.
Who tries to kiss on the first date, really?
All guys of our class? Trust me. Speaking from experience.
Then I won't kiss him. I don't need to cancel the date for this.
Switch it on.
Alright.
Listen Chavs..
Listen, Chavs.
Dhruv is like this router.
Currently it's close to you. The connection is strong.
Everything is streaming and downloading perfectly.
Life is good, right?
But the moment you go away from him, your connection will get weaker.
Wow. What a way to use my own ways on me.
At least be original. -Fine!
Go ahead. But even you know anybody can get his password and use him in your absence.
And who knows? Till the time you come back, the password might have been... changed.
Dhruv is not like that. He won't cheat at least.
Chavs, you never know who's gonna cheat.
Even I thought the same when Rohan went to the summer camp.
But you know what happened, right?
What! Rohan cheated on you?
No! I cheated.
But that's not the point. The point is that long distance sucks.
And YOU have asked him out.
Can you even imagine what he must be thinking?
Hey, I'm not giving her any blood-written love letter.
Dude if you're shit scared, then take Susu's blood!
Sure, take my blood.
But don't you think you should gift her something that reminds her of you?
My blood would remind her of me, right?
He's actually right, you know. -Leave the gift thing, guys.
I'll think of something.
Listen, after you do this.. then please ask her to set me up with Natasha?
Actually, Natasha has a crush on me.
Ahem ahem..
And his friends are so annoying! That Kabir, ughh he stinks so much!
And Dhruv! He hasn't even grown a beard yet.
But I like him, dude. And now I've even asked him out.
I can't cancel it.
See, you go on the date. But now you have only one option.
On this date, you'll have to friendzone him.
Hey it's not that hard! Just casually drop 'bro', 'buddy', 'dude'..
..and just don't go into the movie theatre because
he'll definitely try to make a move on you.
He shouldn't feel that he's on a date at all. Fine?
Why don't you use your brains in studies like this?
Why should I study? I've to become Miss India.
Okay leave that, what are you wearing?
You suggest something.
Shit man, Nandini! You should have at least let me put on some deo.
You've made me Anjali (a tomboy) from Kuch Kuch Hota hai.
Hey Chavi!
Damn she looks so great. Just like Kajol from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
Oh fuck. He looks so cute-
NO. Focus, Chavi, focus. He's your friend.
Hi Dhruv...dude.
Nice perfume.. -What?
The perfume is nice.
Thanks.
We should get the tickets or else we'll miss the national anthem.
Dhruv! -Yeah?
I was wondering..
Do we really have to watch a movie?
I mean I don't really like horror films.
They're so unreal.
This one is quite real. Based on a true story.
Great film. Very scary.
Even the brave get-
It has great reviews.
Frankly.. I get quite scared in horror movies.
This one is not scary at all.
I mean nothing happens. Nobody dies at the end. It's a happy ending.
Dude! Now you've even given the spoiler. No point of watching it now.
So let's watch the one you like?
Let's ditch the movie.
Let's go eat. I'm very hungry too. I know a very good place.
Shall we?
Yes.
Dhruv? -Yes?
Please sit over there? It'd be easier to...
To talk.. Right.
Actually this is a strange seating, you see. So I got confused.
This is better.
Actually I've always seen you in the school uniform.
Seeing you in the casuals for the first time.
I mean.. you look great. Pretty.
You too.
I mean, not pretty.
Pretty good.
I thought I am quite overdressed.
No.. It's average. I mean..Not bad.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Are you comfortable? -Yes!
I'm fine.. fine. Great.
Perfect.
Chavi! Let me tell you a joke. It just struck me.
Okay?
A doctor, an engineer and an army officer walk into a bar
Dhruv. My dad is in the army.
Yes I know. The army officer has the punchline.
The joke is on the engineer.
My mom is an engineer.
Oh. I didn't know that.
Okay then try this one.
An elephant and an ant walk into a bar..
Oh no! -Don't tell me you have an elephant too.
Shantanu!
Cover me.
Chavi, I'm Dhruv!
Dhruv Sharma. -No! Shantanu is right behind you.
No no, don't look at him. He'll come over here. Be cool.
Table for two sir? -Yes.
Hey, Dhruv Bhaiyya?
Do one thing, sir. Let it go.
Hi Dhruv!
Hi Chavi!
I just don't get it. What's the problem with this generation?
If you have to hit on a girl, then approach her in the college or neighbourhood..
Is it really necessary to do this in the candle march organised by me?
The candle march was for women empowerment. Not a single woman was left by the end.
The 7-8 guys who remained were holding each other's hands.
Now tell me Chavi, is it wrong to talk about issues?
Is it wrong, Dhruv?
No no.. We are talking about it.
So interesting.
Yes. Didn't even realise the last 47 minutes.
Sir, your peanut butter chicken is ready. -Thanks.
Ichha, wait for me outside. I'll just pay the bill and come. Bye!
Good girl!
Guys, I know you must be feeling awkward because Chavi and I have a past.
But it's fine.
Actually you two look good together-
No no, we're just- -Thanks!
Do come to my candle march next time. Alright, bye.
Dhruv, you were telling me something about the reunion. When is it?
Can't say anything. It's a surprise. It could be anyday.
I'll be ready. Bye!
So where was I- -Which reunion he was talking about?
And how do you guys know each other?
It's a very long story. Forget it. You'll get bored.
Tell me.
Sorry.
Dude, it's not funny.
We even fell from the Scooty while returning.
Then why did you go?
I had refused but Kabir insisted.
I thought you two are in a relationship.
It was nothing like that.
We just hung out once or twice. That too because he was Natasha's mutual friend.
He's so weird, dude.
And for some reason he's in love with peanut butter.
-I know!
And gossip spreads like fire in school
In our case, it won't. -Why?
I mean nobody would ever believe that you went out on a date with me.
And I've bribed Kabir with 100 bucks.
100.
Then we're absolutely safe. -Definitely
Well Chavi, can we go somewhere else? This is seems a very 'uncle-aunty' place.
Yeah, we can. I have permission till 8 pm.
Let's go.
You know what did Kabir do once in a Parents-Teachers Meet?
What?
He got one of the Rickshaw drivers outside
school to be his dad for the meeting.
Then? -What else..
The day he gets bad grades, he makes him his dad for the day.
Fuck!
Nandini is no better.
I feel Nandini and Kabir are perfect for each other.
No man, the guy outside the school makes the best.
-Right.
He was asking about you.
He is very fond of you.
Oh dude!
I have to pay him. I've dues there.
Oh.
No it's ok. We all have.
After engineering, 2 years of MS...
Then PhD in The States... then...
..after that I'm not so sure, man.
That means you'll be studying till 28? -Minimum.
Great, man. Everyone is sorted. You've to go into engineering,
Kabir has to go into Big Boss, Susu wants to be a 3rd umpire..
It's just me who's clueless about what I want to do.
But, there must be something which interests you.
I don't know, I mean, I find everything interesting.
When I saw 'Rock on', I thought I'd become a musician.
Then I saw 'Rock On 2', so I had to cancel that plan too.
So, I don't know.. -I think you just need a good mentor.
Hey, why don't you talk to Dubey sir?
I mean I was also very confused at first,
but then he only encouraged me to go to Kota.
That was his idea?
*curses*
Shit man!
I'm going to miss school so much!
School will miss you too.
Okay, listen..
I'll have to leave now. Have to reach by 8, you see.
Um, it's still some time left. Let's go somewhere?
Sorry, I can't. Actually I've already informed at home, so..
I'll have to..
Ok.. let's just start walking,
it'd take a while to get an auto rickshaw anyway.
Where to?
Sir, you'll not go to MG Road, right? Traffic, you see.
Why not? Come, sit.
Alright, I'll see you then.
Chavi? -Yes?
I was wondering, if I could drop you?
Sure.
*Shahrukh's romantic song*
I really like this song.
Me too.
Whoa!!! Dhruv! What the fuck!
Shit shit shit! Sorry sorry sorry!
Chavi, I thought it was a moment! -In the rickshaw?
Yeah, that Shahrukh song
and these Emran Hashmi's posters. I got confused!
What!!
Kabir said that if I want to get a girlfriend, then I'must do the 'triple H'
..means I must kiss.. so.. I..I.. I..
I'm going home. See you on Diwali (festival). Send me a card.
Sir stop the auto! Stop the auto!
We are on the flyover. Can't stop. -Then slow down, I'll just jump.
Do you want to die, idiot? Just shut up!
Then stop it, man!
Dhruv, you're such a cartoon!
Did you seriously think that I'd kiss you on the first date?
No Chavi, I was just following Kabir. I'd have never done it!
I mean I'd have done it. But not on the first date.
I ruined everything. Now you hate me. Even I hate me.
Should have made you tie a rakhi. (a brother-sister ritual)
Why is this flyover not ending? -Relax!
You're deliberately not slowing down, right?
-Relax, Dhruv. Calm your tits, Dhruv!!
Dhruv.
I don't hate you.
I like you.
Here you go. The flyover has ended. Do you want to get down?
Chavi..
Can you stay for 15 minutes?
Please?
What's the plan?
Sir, take the left from the next flyover.
And turn off this light, please? It's creepy.
And turn up the volume. Madam likes this song.
Just here.
School?
Is this also one of Kabir's plans? The triple-H one?
No no.
This is a completely original thought.
Shall we?
Speak!
Yes.
Actually, it's a bit cheesy. Don't judge me.
You've given me enough opportunities to judge you.
Speak.
Okay, sit.
Okay.
Since you were leaving mid-semester,
and you didn't even get a proper farewell.. So I thought..
And farewell should be given in the school only, right? So...
Kabir!
Susu!
Hey, even Dubey sir wrote something!
You went to him too?
This is so sweet, Dhruv!
You've put in so much thought!
Thanks a lot.
And it's the best farewell gift.
See Dhruv...
You're a really nice guy.
And I know how you feel for me.
But, from this point onwards...
I mean
I've thought about it.
About us.
I don't think it's a good idea.
Infact, I wasn't even going to come today.
...which thank God, didn't happen.
I really enjoyed today.
But...
Long distance...
Won't be able to do it...
And...
I think that's the mature thing to do right now.
Then why did you change your mind?
About coming today.
If I would not have come, I mean...
I didn't want to regret later.
Chavi..
I understand what you're saying..
And I agree.
I mean, even I don't know what's going to happen..
What will happen between us...
But I wanted to know that if indeed it'd have happened, then how it'd be.
I didn't want to regret, afterall.
Then you should've mentioned that earlier!
You're such an idiot!
Actually, I was playing hard to get.
Really!
"But sir, he can help as a friend too.."
But seriously,
if you'd said it, then we would have been the most good looking couple in the school.
I know, right?
It would've been so cool.
I'd have had a girlfriend in school.
YOU, of all people.
I would've been respected so much.
I'd have tagged you in memes.
And you have a scooty too.
We'd have bunked classes and gone to movies.
Horror movies as well.
It would have been so much fun!
Yes it must have been.
Dhruv, you didn't write anything?
I thought a lot about it.
What should I write?
I mean,
My goodbye message should be the best of all, right?
So I Googled too.
Quotes. Poems.
Even shortlisted a couple of dialogues from Rom-Coms.
But it didn't seem right.
Then I thought I should write about a special memory of ours.
And then I realised..
That I'm one big jerk.
I didn't even make any special memory with you.
You know, I used to rehearse everyday.
That what would I talk to you in the school.
Then you used to come in front of me..
I couldn't even say a hey or hello.
This date... right now...
I must have practiced it at least a hundred times in my head.
And not even once in those hundred times...
...never did I think that I might have to say goodbye on the first date itself.
And this is it.
This is our,
This is our first and may be our last memory.
Earlier it was so difficult to say a 'hi'
But now I realised that it's harder to say a goodbye.
That's why I didn't write anything.
I know what you should've written.
What?
Four words. English.
First word.
Playing a game.
X Box. Playstation?
PS?
Second word.
You.
Me.
I.
Third word.
Love.
PS I love you.
This was my love story.
Now I don't know what's going to happen after that.
But I know this much, that first love might or not be with us..
But it's memorable.
Bhaiyya one lemon with mineral water and no salt, no sugar.
And..
Nandini..uh Natasha!
Oh no.
Actually I wanted to say something to you.
What now?
Actually
Ever since I saw your dance on 'Hips don't lie' in 5th standard,
..I've not been able to think about anyone else.
I mean.. I see you in my dreams.
In the same Shakira dress..
I know
I don't have a good reputation in school.
But I'll change for you.
I'll be better.
Because..
I really love you.
And if you feel the same,
Please accept this rose.
I love you too.
Motherfucker!
Bro bro bro bro!
Hey! Who'll pay for this?
Why does everyone has to fall in love at this place only?
Bloody can't even pay for popsickle, but want to romance and shit. date itself.