Good morning.
Hello, uncle.
Good morning.
So cute!
Is it a male or female dog, uncle?
He's my son.
Harshvardhan.
Certainly a son.
A very manly personality.
Like father, like son.
Harsh seems a bit angry.
Perhaps not a morning person.
It's alright.
Uncle, isn't your son getting a bit out of hand?
What's wrong? -Uncle, control your dog!
Where are you headed? -Uncle, help!
Harshvardhan!
Uncle, help! -Hey, wait!
Someone stop him!
Brother! -What's wrong, Shanky?
Stop!
Come on, there's a dog chasing me! -Let's go!
Come on!
The dog is not mad, brother.
He barks at strangers.
But I've been here for a month.
Exactly, bro. Just a month.
But you still seem like a tourist.
Tourist?
Oh, gosh...
Bro, take a look at yourself.
Even the dog sensed you're not from South Delhi.
Mahesh, even my deodorant is called South Scent.
Not deodorant, cologne is the way to go!
Dress classy, like me.
And don't get your hair cut from local barbers.
Go to Javed Habib instead.
Ditch that android phone and toss it under the metro!
Brother, I'm trying my best.
Then stop overthinking.
Observe your surroundings.
Emulate South Delhi residents.
Or else, I'll lose my job, and you'll lose your home.
Just a heads up.
I'll take your leave.
Lighter.
Yes, tell me.
Does the party prefer a divorced couple?
Divorced or a couple?
You are confusing me.
See you later, brother Mahesh. -Alright.
With one move, you turned the respected KD Bansal
into a thief in the entire market.
You have some talent.
Sorry, sir.
But I couldn't stand how Rana...
The fight between Rana and me is not about business!
It's an ideological battle!
After what you two did together,
what's the difference between Rana and me?
I ended up interfering in his life!
Why did you two do this?
Take it off.
Take off the badge.
Sir... -Take off the badge. Hurry up.
Have you been paid this month's salary?
Have you?
Don't come in from tomorrow.
It's not about the salary. You were all alone...
If I can cope without my son, I can manage without you too!
Don't do me any favors!
Leave.
Come on, Shanky.
Time to become Shaan.
I had an appointment.
Hi sir. Welcome to H&G.
Hi, sir. Welcome to Mattel Mobiles.
I was thinking,
something like a Virat Kohli haircut.
Use a number two clipper.
No, sir. It's very West Delhi.
We are all artists here.
So, don't worry. Let us express ourselves.
The 15 is the latest one.
It has a 48 megapixel camera,
cinematic mode, it comes to 1.5 lakhs. That's it.
That's amazing.
Fine, then book me a 12.
Hello.
Excuse me.
What the hell is wrong with your inter collections?
Show me something in pastels.
Size 40.
Sir!
I'm a customer too.
I'm so sorry, man.
But we can...
looks like someone finally googled the term "Grooming."
Look at his hair.
Looks like Dick Jonas.
Come on, guys. He can hear us.
Yeah, so?
Guys!
What about the HR's email?
Six days a week; I cannot do it.
It's not acceptable at all.
I burn out by the fourth day itself.
If we wanted to become slaves,
we would've worked in the Big-4.
Why would we be working here? -Exactly.
And what about our work-life balance?
Does Chetan think we have no life after work?
Perfect. I think we're all on the same page.
I think 6 days a week is good.
What is he saying?
Sunday off is enough for hobbies, right?
Like, seriously!
What about life?
Please, Vish.
What the *** would he know about having a life anyway.
Dude, overwork is not a sign of competence.
It's rather exploitation.
And inviting you to this discussion
was such a big mistake.
Darn!
Just because he had a haircut, he thinks he's a stud.
A healthy work-life balance actually refers to maintaining a
harmonious relationship between your work and personal life.
It's not just a jargon, you see.
It is the way of life.
What is that?
It's not very commercial, but you should go there.
Lakshadweep is trending lately too, right?
Bro, I just binged Modern Spies in one go only.
It's so addictive.
Really?
When did the new season come out?
Last weekend.
Bro, BTS is coming to Gurgaon.
We really can't miss it.
I'm not up for tonight.
I'm on keto. Only kheema salad.
'If the Blue Line of Jamnapaar'
'removes its own sticker from the outside'
'and puts on a magenta sticker'
'it doesn't become the metro of South Delhi.'
'It needs to change its vibe from within.'
'Next station, Vasant Vihar.'
Mother, are you making 'mutter paneer jhol'?
Pack it up. I'll take it with me.
Paras, I will make it again for you in a day or two, I promise.
But this one is for Shanky.
Is Shanky coming home, Mom?
He hasn't even bothered to call properly in a month,
so how would he come home?
So what if he can't come here?
The gravy can be delivered to his house, right?
What are you on about?
Shailja, you have that courier app on your phone, right?
Send it to him through the app.
Don't fall for these apps.
They charge 250 for delivery.
I'll send someone from the shop.
He'll deliver it quickly.
Also, pack my lunch.
We have apple gourd at home.
First peas, then cottage cheese!
You'll be bloated like a balloon!
Quiet!
He's our son-in-law. -But he's my husband.
Varsha!
What happened, Zoya ma'am?
Who the *** sent this box of
animal fat to my house?
No, ma'am. It's only 'paneer jhol'.
It's for Shanky.
Just 'paneer'!
I can't handle him.
And who is Shanky?
Greetings, Shanky.
What's the matter?
Brother Shanky, what happened is that
there's 'Paneer' fucking 'jhol' delivered for you!
Meanwhile, a baby calf is going to die of starvation today.
No, ma'am. This is not possible. Just a moment.
Let me see it.
This isn't mine. There seems to be some confusion.
It's not my parcel.
Brother, what are you saying?
Paras sir sent it.
He told me to give it to you.
I don't know any Paras nor any Shanky!
Feed it to your boss!
Aunt packed separately for him!
Darn! Just go!
It's not mine. You've come to the wrong address.
But the 'paneer'... -Get going!
Go to the other address.
How could you let anyone inside?
Focus!
Varsha...
if Shaan can't manage
then please, you manage his chores from now on.
Okay, ma'am. -And tell him
this is a vegan household.
We don't do milk products!
Ma'am, I'm a pure vegetarian myself.
Oh my God!
Please, Varsha. Make him understand.
I can't handle him.
Brother, come on.
My chakras have been disaligned this morning.
Mom, who asked you to send food here?
But son, 'paneer jhol' is your favorite, right?
Mom, I can buy everything here!
If I want to eat home-cooked meal, I'll tell my maid!
Sister, please make my quinoa salad.
I'll make it right away.
What the hell is vegan?
Actually, no cottage cheese for me.
Do you have anything with tofu?
Sure, sir. How about tofu fritters?
So, you don't like cottage cheese?
Actually, the thing is,
I can't see a baby calf starving to death.
I'm vegan.
Oh my God!
You love plants.
You are a Modern Spies lover also.
And a vegan too.
Now, don't say that
your shrink's name is also Dr. Natasha.
Shrink?
Yeah, like a therapist.
Oh, therapy!
No, no. I'm not a lost cause.
So, you mean to say I'm a lost cause?
No, that's not what I meant.
I mean, therapy is for extreme cases.
Oh my God!
You know what? I knew it!
This was too good to be true.
Surprise shots!
Actually, I can't have alcohol.
My therapist... I mean, my shrink
Dr. Natasha,
she has said
alcohol is not good for my anxiety.
Oh my gosh!
Plant enthusiast,
Modern Spies fan,
Vegan, and you go to therapy too.
No wonder.
You know, I got the knight and shining armor card
of my tarot reading today.
Oh! Really? -Yeah.
Tarot cards never lie.
I love them too.
Really? -Yeah.
Do you want to go for a session now?
Now?
Wow!
That's so cool.
Can you teach me?
Excuse me!
Yes, sir.
Why did you place the bill in front of me?
You could have also put it in the middle.
You could have given it to ma'am as well.
Who knows, maybe we needed to split the bill.
What if ma'am wanted to pay the bill?
Hey! What did you just do?
It's okay. I paid the bill.
It's not okay. You should've at least asked me.
We are on a date. I was just being...
Sexist much!
Oh God!
Chill.
No, it's just so sad. I mean...
Patriarchy exists even in our evolved parts of the city.
Chill. -Come on!
So, plant lover,
vegan,
Pro-therapy,
and a *** feminist.
Oh my God!
Wow! -I love tarot cards too.
Shut up!
Don't say a word.
Give me a second. I need to make a call.
Wait.
Raghav, you won't believe.
I found the same exact guy you were looking for.
I'm bringing him home. Be there on time.
Raghav?
Your brother?
No, he's my primary.
Oh, like your first cousin?
You're so funny, but...
He's my primary partner.
And then you would be my secondary.
Wait. Didn't you check my bio?
I'm polyamorous!
No, no! No primary, secondary...
or poly!
Only one boy, one girl.
That's it. -What the fuck, dude!
Wish they taught feminism in therapy.
Go tell your Dr. Natasha that!
At least pay the bill!
Why have you served a rock?
Get your Taxman to give us some tax rebates
because we really need that coffee machine.
That's true.
Here you go.
You changed your costume, Taxman.
Not really.
Come on.
New hairstyle, new clothes.
Do you have a girlfriend now?
Get me your goddamn owner right now!
Ma'am, please don't shout, and please...
Shaan, I'll just be back.
Perhaps you didn't hear me.
Get me your owner right now. -Yes!
I am the owner.
Oh, finally, guys! The owner decides to show up.
I ordered almond milk.
But your staff clearly don't give a fuck about customer service.
They got me regular milk.
I'm lactose intolerant.
Ma'am, I'm genuinely very sorry.
I'll just get it replaced right now.
She'll get it replaced, ma'am.
We're really sorry. This is unacceptable, and...
You know what, your coffee is on the house.
It's on us. Anything else you need just let us know and we'll...
This is too late.
I completely understand. And...
Here's your almond milk coffee.
Please, enjoy it. -Too late.
Ma'am, I...
suggest you don't record, please. It's not necessary.
I don't think... -I do need to record this
because my food channel Culinary Tales' audience needs to know
the staff here is so insensitive
towards the vegan community.
Sorry? The Vegan community?
Yes. The Vegan community.
Oh.
You know what, I think you should record me.
Do you know how almond milk is made?
No. -I thought so.
The almonds used to make almond milk
undergo pollination, a process requiring thousands of bees
to migrate from their natural habitat,
from their farms.
So? -And...
Not so fun fact;
90 percent of them die in the process.
So, your audience and your Vegan Community would love to know
that you are a Bee killer.
Hi, guys!
Like, comment, and subscribe, and do not forget to say,
"Cancelthebeekiller"! -This is ridic...
Cancel the bee killer!
Stop it!
Please, enjoy your free coffee.
Ridiculous!
I don't believe this.
Wow!
Is the part about bees true?
I mean, it's debatable.
But I made a point, right?
Thank you.
You're ruthless.
Is there any other option?
They always insist on having things their way.
Everything should be as per their convenience.
Just "I before everyone else" all the time.
You're also from South Delhi.
Yeah, which is why I know
how to deal with these idiots.
If you let them bully you,
they'll walk all over you.
They need to be responded to in their own entitled tone.
That's when they pay attention to you.
Bro, can you please move a little?
How about I don't!
Like the others, wait for a seat to be vacant.
And stop touching my leg, bro!
Fine. Whatever.
'See, in South Delhi,'
'the shortcut mantra to belonging is,'
'I before you.'
'So, repeat after me.'
'I before You.'
'Next station is GK-2.'
Why did you make 'puris'?
You know I'm on intermittent fasting, right?
Brother, it's just like a home-cooked meal.
Please, eat today. I prepared them with care.
It's not about your intentions, but my choice.
Take this home with you, and make me avocado toast!
Alright, guys!
How's the party going?
I have an announcement to make.
It's toast raising time.
Cheers to converting Royal English Bank into a full-time client!
And... And a very special mention
to our blue-eyed boy, Shantanu Bansal!
Come on up, Shaan.
Drum rolls!
Cheers to Shantanu
for finding some critical interest entries
which my very capable and experienced team
as usual couldn't find.
Please!
Good job, Shaan.
The client is very happy with your work.
Well done.
Cheers to Shantanu!
Cheers!
Thank you.
Thank you so much for the compliment, sir.
It means a lot.
Shantanu, don't you think we're past the whole "sir" thing?
Call me Chetan.
Yes, Chetan.
Good.
See, Shaan,
I won't mince my words,
I really like your work ethic and attention to detail.
And I'd like to offer you some big clients.
Only if you're ready for it.
Sure, Chetan. Of course.
That's the spirit. -Hey, Chetan.
Could I please borrow your star performer for a minute?
Looks like I'm not the only one you've impressed tonight.
He's all yours.
You fucker!
Why did you submit the report?
It was my report, wasn't it?
Are you trying to impress Chetan now?
Nish, I raised a query a week ago.
How long was I supposed to wait for the report?
No.
What I fail to understand
is that why couldn't you mind your damn business?
Because this; it's not your fucking mediocre firm!
You wanker!
Yes, I'm from a mediocre firm.
What? -But you're a mediocre CA!
I had to submit the report
because you weren't focused on the client's business!
Nish, if you spent even a fraction of the time
you waste on your activism focusing on the client's report,
we wouldn't be having this conversation right now!
You need to relax.
And Chetan was right about you.
You are brilliant.
But at just one thing.
Sucking at your job.
Whoa!
Flaming shots for our boy who is on fire
and some ice water for the lady.
Yeah, pathetic!
Welcome to the gang, Ranker.
Shots!
I'm so sorry.
Shaan!
I must say,
that
was so hot.
You want to share a drink?
Hey, Harshu.
Come on, Harshu.
Harshu!
Hey, Harshu.
He really likes you.
Yeah? -Yeah.
Uncle, I'll see you later.
Yes. -Bye, Harshu.
Bye.
'South Delhi is like a US tourist visa.'
Nice meeting you, son. -Yeah, nice meeting you.
'Getting it isn't a breeze for all.'
'But this gentleman is no longer a tourist,'
'he has secured citizenship here.'