- Hi. Hi. - Hi.
Hey. Hi. Hi.
Jesus Christ.
Can I... Can I get some more blankets?
- Yeah. Are you family? - Yes.
Um, why are her hands bolted down?
It's so she doesn't pull the tubes out.
We had to intubate her after her lung collapsed.
Your lung collapsed?
- Oh, man! And in terms of her... Oh, my... - Yeah.
What...
- What's on your hat? - Excuse me?
Do you have Harry Potter lightning bolts on your surgical hat?
- Yeah. Yup. Yup. Yup. - What--
Are you in distress, Ms.--
- Can you hold that? Hold on one second? - Okay.
Oh, my gosh. Okay. You can just write it on there.
Sweetie.
Oh, my God.
Okay, I got you.
"Does he have a permission slip from his parents to be here?"
Is... Is that...
Oh, she's talking about me.
She's... Okay.
A lot of adults like Harry Potter. I...
I grew up with the movies.
I know you wanna get that thing out,
but they said we have to wait till tomorrow morning
to decide what to do next.
And honestly, I've always thought that you kind of talked a little too much.
So... ...now I can finally get a word in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
"Don't leave"?
What?
Why would I leave?
I have a captive audience.
Ha-ha. Okay.
Your choices for entertainment are...
the full script of A Midsummer Night's Dream,
or everything that I can remember from the movie Clueless,
which is a shocking amount.
"I am your spaniel. And Demetrius, the more you beat me, I will fawn on you."
Oh...
So, Helena is a bottom.
"My plastic surgeon says I can't do any activities where balls fly at my nose."
"Well, there goes your social life."
This is my impression of the language that they call French.
Oh, one thumbs up.
Oh, double thumbs up.
Blink twice if you'd like to watch me do some sports.
Sweet. Love - love.
Thumbs down. Non, non, non. We hate this.
"Oh my god. I love Josh."
Fountain. Fountain. Fountain.
"I'm majorly, totally, butt-crazy in love with Josh.
But now I don't know how to act around him."
That's such a good part.
The first night we hung out,
we stayed up all night walking around.
And you were dating my horrible acting teacher.
Yeah. He deserves it.
And you were so quiet and pretty that I thought you must be dumb.
Honestly, it was a lot like this.
But then you really just blew me away.
Molly wants the breathing tube out.
- Are those vulvas? - Yeah. They're vulvas wearing fancy hats.
They're going to the royal wedding. I was, like, trying to make her laugh.
Can we just take that tube out?
- Nikki. Here's the thing. We-- - We can take it out now, but--
Great. Then let's just do that.
There's a risk that her body won't remember how to breathe on its own.
What? What are you saying?
Sometimes the body just doesn't remember.
And Molly has a Do Not Resuscitate order in place,
so if she stops breathing or her heart stops,
then we would not perform CPR.
And as her health proxy, you would need to okay that.
I've been awake for 30 hours. I'm wearing toilet paper as underwear.
Are you asking me if I can let Molly stop breathing in front of me?
Yes.
You're going to remember how to breathe.
Okay, Molly. We're gonna do this together, okay?
We're gonna remove the tube, and it's gonna feel a little weird.
But once it's out, I need you to take a deep breath, okay?
Hand me a 10cc tube. Ready the oxygen.
Yes!
Okay, great.
- Yes! Yes! - Yes. Slow deep breaths. Deep breath.
- Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! - Yes!
Mwah!
Yes!
Was that your first kiss?
I've been kissed before. I...
- We know that, right? - Yeah. Of course. Yeah, sure.
Your neighbor brought you here.
I told him I loved him.
- You did? - Yeah. I know.
Okay. So, now that your breathing has stabilized,
I'm concerned about this numbness you're feeling.
- We'll do a lumbar puncture-- - Hi, Jerry.
Hi, Molly.
May I sit down?
Please.
Tomorrow morning,
we would like to do a spinal tap to see if the cancer has spread
to the lining of your spinal cord.
Now, do you have any questions?
Yes.
What will happen if you find cancer there?
Then we will have a conversation
about whether you wanna continue with treatment.
Okay.
Thank you.
Yes. Let's do that.
Okay, good. All right.
I'll schedule it for, uh, tomorrow.
But you know, you... you're gonna need some time after the procedure to recover.
And I just... I... I know that you have certain, um, goals, physically.
And I just wanna make sure that you're able to achieve them safely.
Whoa! I'm just... That's really...
Dr. P, are you saying that you want me to be able to keep having sex?
I'm not made of stone.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know.
- Oh. What? Hell yes. - Uh, I've never seen anything like that.
Does Jerry have game?
I'm gonna go give him a hug.
I'm wet from that. Like, is Jerry hot?
- Oh, my God. Nikki. - Yes!
I wanna see him. I wanna see him again. I wanna see him, like, right now.
Not Jerry, but your neighbor?
Are you, like, into Jerry now?
- No, you're not, right? - Will you help me?
I wanna touch his mustache.
Oh, my God, yes! Of course! Of course. Of course.
Um, I'll go home and get him.
I'm gonna get your vibrators, I'll get your lube.
I got it. I got it.
Oh, my God! "Come night. Come Romeo!"
"Come thou day in night." I'm just, like... I'm doing Shakespeare!
- No, I know. - I love Shakespeare.
- I know. - I go. I go. Look how I go!
Don't die.
I won't.
What?
So there's a nice nurse and an evil nurse?
Yeah, we need to get there before the shift change.
Did you put the bag with the lubes in the car?
- Yeah. - And the bag with the vibrators?
- Oh, my God! Where's my phone? - Yeah.
Why would I know where your phone is?
And why does she need all that stuff? How long is she gonna be in there?
I don't know. I never know.
So she could be in there a few days or forever?
And we're just supposed to live in both realities?
- That's really fucked. - Yeah.
Well, it feels different this time.
Well, I think you're amazing. I mean, I watch you, and you do everything.
Well, not everything.
But, you know, if I could have sex with her, I would.
Yeah. I bet. I mean, it's really cool...
...to have sex with her. I love it.
This is weird.
This? It's just human sexuality.
Ooh! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Yes!
Whoo! [screams, groans] Oh, yes!
Nikki?
Oh, shit! Did I pick this up?
Uh, yeah. You did. Hi.
Uh...
Hi, Noah.
- Um... - Uh.
I'm calling 'cause I got a medical bill for Molly,
and I wanted to let you know.
It's so nice to hear from you. It's so good to hear from you.
It's just, um... Molly's in the hospital.
I had them take her off the ventilator, but she's okay.
I'm... My God! Oh, my God!
No!
- Shit! - No, man!
No, no, no, no. You cannot. Oh, Jesus.
- We need everything in there. - What you doing, man?
- No! No, no, no, no! - We're going to the hospital.
Get off the fucking car!
Do something! Don't you work for 311?
Yeah, but that's not related to parking!
- Yeah. I'm 311. So you can't do this-- - Get the fuck off the car!
- He's 311. No, no, no, no. Oh, my God! - Jesus! I'm gonna fuck you up with forms!
No!
Nikki, what... what...what's happening?
Noah, why are you still on the phone?
You haven't hung up yet.
- No! They're towing my car. - Oh, fuck!
My car. My car.
My suitcase and my tote and all of Molly's stuff is in the car.
- My car. - Come here.
Don't... No. Please don't hug me. We're not friends.
I mean, we're not strangers.
- Who's hugging you? - Get on the subway.
Okay.
Nikki, what can I do? Let me do something.
Okay. I need help.
I need help.
What is lost is found.
What man could resist me in these beefy unders?
Come on. Do you want to know where I got this deodorant?
- Oh, no. No. - That's what I thought.
Are there any, like, sluttier hospital gowns lying around?
Just turn it around backwards. You know, easy access.
Yeah, but what else do you need? What else was in Nikki's car?
- We got-- - Everything. Like, literally everything.
Okay.
Is it strange how calm I feel?
I don't know what's going on with me. I just feel so clear.
Like my mind feels clear.
I'm really proud of you.
What? I am. I am. I just...
Hey, I need to warn you about Ernie, the night nurse--
You can warn her all you want.
- I'm putting a stop to this. - That's Ernie.
There will be no male visitors tonight. Not on my watch.
This is a hospital, not a bordello.
Ernie!
What kinda man takes advantage of a sick woman like this?
Oh, no one's taking advantage of me, Ernie.
Haven't you ever been in love?
That's none of your business.
That's a yes.
Hi.
Welcome.
- Would you like to use my bedside commode? - Um...
Not yet.
I have a tube in my--
It's fucking hot.
You're so beautiful.
I got you a gift.
It's really expensive, and I had to hunt high and low for them.
Taco socks.
I just... You know, I know your feet get cold.
And who doesn't love tacos?
I hate these taco socks.
They make me sick.
Look at their little taco faces.
Why is only one of them wearing sunglasses?
Is the lettuce supposed to be the taco's hair?
I didn't think I could hate shredded lettuce
any more than I already do,
but looking at it on these taco socks fills me with rage.
If they say, "Let's taco about it," I'm gonna scream.
Well, don't look at the heel then.
Take off your clothes.
Come here.
Get on the bed.
Oh, my God! You're so tall.
Hey. What's happening? What's happening?
- It's okay. It's okay. He's here. - He's here.
- He is... - He's here? He's here.
Oh, God.
- Don't come in! - She's okay. I'm also fine.
I have a boner.
Turn and face the wall, you little perv!
How about he stays that way till the morning?
Actually, my friend might be coming soon with a bag of vibrators.
Those are for me.
I'll get right on that.
Excuse me.
- Hi. - Hi.
Uh, I tried to get the stuff,
but, um, you didn't tell me what kind of vibrator Molly likes.
Yes, I did. Clitoral stimulation, no dildos. I did tell you that.
Yeah, but what kind of clitoral stimulation?
Oh, my God! I thought you hadn't bought anything.
- Of course I did. - Thank you.
I-I couldn't answer the questions they were asking.
Does she like direct, rhythmic stimulation?
'Cause that one's good for that.
- This one is good for orbiting. - Orbiting?
Yeah, orbiting. It's like when you make small, gentle circles around the clitoris.
Cool.
Some women don't want you to, like, touch their clitoris at all.
They just want you to, like...
- I'm saying clitoris a lot. - It's cool.
They just want you to, like, lightly touch all the skin around it.
And then this one is shaped like a rose. It's called the "Marilyn."
Not to sound ungrateful, but I think this is a...
I think this is a butthole.
Oh, I thought it was a rose.
Okay. Um, thank you.
Sure.
Well, um, I will deliver these because it was a vibrator emergency.
I'm just gonna hang out and wait till the rain lets up.
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, I forgot. I got you soup. It's, uh, the mushroom kind that you like.
Fuck!
I appreciate that. That's really nice.
I'll come back to make some circles around that soup.
I hate myself.
We've never kissed before.
I'd like to kiss you.
Is it okay to take that off?
It's just oxygen.
My lips are so dry.
What if all I can do is just lie here with you?
I don't know what you thought this was going to be.
Because there's been so much build up and there are just so many vibrators.
We don't have to do anything.
And you're right.
What's with all these vibrators? Get outta here. Freaking us out.
Holy shit!
- Did you see that? - What?
I think what I'm gonna do is just smell you.
Okay.
Yeah. 'Cause we don't have to do anything.
Yeah. There's too many goals.
We live in a society that just... Everybody's goals.
I, um...
Christ, I'm distracted.
I was saying something about goals.
Goals are dumb, you know? We don't...
Who needs 'em?
I fucking...
And then when you achieve one, then what are you gonna do?
Another goal? Fuck!
Oh, God! Hey, listen, um...
I think... I think, um...
I think what we do need to do...
We both need to agree that it is not medically safe...
for you to have any sexual satisfaction tonight.
I mean, you absolutely cannot come.
Oh, I agree.
- No, I'm much too weak and too sick. - Yeah.
But then I don't think I can let you come either.
- Oh, no. Certainly not. - No.
Then why are you so hard right now?
I'm not... It's the railing.
There's a railing in the middle of the bed?
Fuck!
Do you think you could eat that a little faster?
Don't look over here.
I won't.
Are you engaged?
What?
You heard what I said.
Are you engaged? To be married?
- No. - Okay.
Okay.
I saw something on Instagram, and you were wearing a ring.
I got really into rings for a little while.
I'm not kidding.
You and I had just ended it, and I was like...
I was kinda heartbroken and, um...
I bought, like, 20 rings in two months.
- Sweet, man. Was it just rings? - Yeah.
I had one really bad night.
I bought a few bracelets and a toe ring.
And I just wore it around the apartment for, like, a week.
Nikki.
Yeah.
I'm with someone.
And it's nice.
It's easy.
Thank you for the soup.
Okay. Okay. No. I... I have to stop.
I have to stop because you are making noises
that make me think that you're starting to get physically aroused and--
What makes you think I'm physically aroused?
I mean, your pupils are like saucers and you're grunting.
Oh, no. That's just what I do when I'm bored.
I see.
I mean, you could try touching me.
I don't think I can feel anything.
Uh, no.
I don't feel anything.
No. I don't feel anything.
No, still nothing.
- Really? - No.
Are you even touching me right now?
I am touching you right now.
Gentle.
Yeah. Up and down.
I'm here.
Molly. Fuck!
I forgot to play Wordle today.
I'm so sorry.
I always start with "gnome."
I always start with "Fuck you."
Obviously, you're the most beautiful thing that ever happened,
but I've never liked that your hair isn't filled with lube.
Oh, yeah.
I was right.
This is my masterpiece.
Okay. Now I can fuck the top of your head like I've always wanted to.
Hey, do you wanna see my boobs?
Yeah!
They're so cool.
Thanks.
They're pretty cool.
I don't have much feeling in them anymore.
I can feel that.
- What about here? - No. No, not so much.
- Okay. I'm gonna be very thorough. - Yeah, no.
That's not really working for me. I just...
Can you use your tongue?
I mean, if I have to.
Touch it. Touch it. Use your mouth.
Here's your vitamin E, Molly.
Finger.
Bracelet.
Your blood pressure is elevated.
And your leg looks fucked up.
You're killing me, Ernie.
Uh-huh.
Do you think he noticed?
Wait. For real, why... why are you stopping?
It's... It's the responsible thing to do.
I hate you.
I hate you so much.
I need you.
- Hey, you want it? - Yes.
They're gonna come tap my spine in an hour.
I'll stay.
No.
Okay. I'll come back tonight.
No.
I don't wanna die with you.
I wanna get a dog with you.
So, you just used me to get off,
and now you're done with me?
Yeah.
This is going to be a blip for you.
No.
Will you stay till after I fall asleep?
Okay.
- Hi. - Hi.
He left.
"Oh, my God.
I love Josh. I love Josh."
Fountain. Fountain.
Oh, my God! It happened? Oh, my God. I'm so happy, I'm gonna come, I swear.
I'm gonna cry. You should've called me right when it happened.
Hi.
Ready?