Before the police come,
let's not forget why we came here tonight.
Diablo, Mr. Sexy Romantic, made us throw you this party.
Congratulations on the green card, Blanca!
Tell us how it feels.
Well, it feels...
And, like, a relief?
And I know this is a bit ridiculous but,
back in Santo Domingo,
my mom and dad would argue a lot--
and our place was tiny, we had two rooms, there was nowhere to go.
And I remember that song from the show, Perfect Strangers.
You know, with Balki and Larry?
And Balki would have that "America or Burst" sign, and I thought,
"Wow, that country looks amazing. Anything is possible there."
And now I'm here.
fill out all the paperwork, wait 12 years, and then...
But none of that matters.
because it gave me Diablo.
Say something less fucking corny!
Shut up, buttface!
I love you.
Wait, wait, wait. You love me?
Yeah, I do.
Baby, I love you, too.
I've been wanting to tell you for so long,
but you're so intimidating.
But now that you've said it,
I can say it.
Baby, I love you so much. You make me so horny when you're this cheesy.
Machine of the Devil!
Everything went to shit!
How so? Why don't you try it again?
Sancocho tastes better to me.
Yes. It's good.
Not as good as my mother's Olla soup, but...
You should go. She's home.
Oh, fuck.
My God.
I knew it was too soon for the old bat to start driving again!
We have to call the cops.
You could get into trouble...
So could she!
And if she goes, I lose my job and--
You're sure about this, my love?
Yes. She's a fucking cunt, but she's my fucking cunt.
Do you speak Spanish?
Perhaps French?
Yes, but you'll never know that!
Leave me alone, you rogue thieves. Yes, it is very rude.
Baby? It's me.
Blanca?
Oh, my God! I'm so relieved to hear you.
What happened? Why haven't you called? I don't understand.
I don't understand, either.
ICE grabbed me outside of Litchfield, and now I'm in Arizona.
Well, no problem. I'm coming tomorrow.
I'll borrow money and drive there.
It's not worth it.
I'm asking them why they're doing all this, but no one will tell me.
And they are treating us...
Me neither.
I know I ruined everything for us before because of that old cunt.
And it was one thing when you wanted to wait the two years for me...
No, my love, don't say that.
What's a few more months
We're gonna try heroin when we're 80, remember?
And a dog named...
Mojito.
I love you very much. Tell me...
Use it to track me online.
in my "permanent resident" status.
Hang tight, my beautiful dove.
Baby, are you crying?
Oh, my love.
You look beautiful.
I used all the coffee can money
and got an appointment with an immigration lawyer.
And? What did they say?
It's not good.
No, it wasn't that.
She said it was because you pled guilty to being an organizer in the riot.
That's why they didn't give me extra time.
I know, I know. But it doesn't matter.
we will figure this out.
What if they deport me back to Santo Domingo?
I haven’t been there in 15 years...
Besides, now that you’re in Litchfield,
at least I can visit, right?
My love, at least here I can touch you.