[cell door slams]
[theme song playing]
[cell door slams]
[Piper] As a get-out-of-prison gift, Neri had my astrological chart done.
Or she downloaded it from the Internet.
Either way, she thought it might give me some insight into myself.
I'm a Gemini. In Latin, Gemini means "twins."
So there's this inherent duality to me, right?
If you believe this shit.
[toilet flushing]
Sorry.
[Piper] Gemini is an air sign.
Our metal is quicksilver.
-Sorry. -This side is going down, dummy.
I know. I'm a big dummy.
[urinating]
[Piper] A Gemini's lucky color is yellow.
One of the negative traits of people with my birthday
is that we're often stressed
and torn between personal freedom and ties of love that hold us back.
But on the positive side, I have the same birthday as Liam Neeson.
-Hi, guys. -[Cal groans]
-I brought home pak boong. -[Neri strains]
That's morning glory. I'm gonna be really fluent in Thai soon.
-At least Thai menu Thai. -[both straining]
-I'm not completely sure it's vegan... -[baby gurgling]
...because they do put fish sauce in everything,
but it's definitely vegetable-forward.
Do you want some now or should I put it in the fridge?
Come on, Goodall. Make a poo-poo. You can do it.
I'll put it in the fridge.
[Cal] Piper, we've asked you to please
not bring home non-biodegradable takeout containers.
We are a zero-waste house. Almost.
And I heard you. Ta-da.
-Oh! -Oh! It's okay.
[Piper] My birthday tarot card is the Chariot.
If the Chariot card is presented upright...
[Neri shushes]
...it's a signal to enjoy the fruits of your efforts.
"You've done it, kid. Time to celebrate."
Maybe we should try that running-warm-water-on-the-feet thing?
No, no, that's for pee-pee.
We're trying to get her to poop. She gave us poop face.
-I mean... -[Piper] I'm gonna head to bed.
...wouldn't we be happy with either one?
Good luck with the infant potty...
-[baby crying] -[Neri] Oh!
-[Cal] Good night, P. -...situation.
[Neri] It might be confusing.
I think we're supposed to get her to pick one, aren't we?
Maybe we should watch the YouTube again?
What were the key words?
[Neri] Yeah, elimination communication.
[chuckling]
Or the, um, the lady with the accent. The Nappyless Technique.
-[Neri cooing] -[baby crying]
[over laptop] Hi, I'm Sandy. This is episode 3 of Nappy-Free Life.
Today, we're going to talk about...
Hey, you guys, could you remember to pick up vegetable oil
for the car before Wednesday?
I'm very grateful and you are all very, very attractive.
-Uh, Wednesday? -Yes.
My probation officer finally gave me permission, remember?
I'm gonna visit my wife?
God, I love saying that.
Oh, no. Wednesday's no good.
Goodall has the doctor on Wednesday. We need the car.
[Neri] Oh, that's right! Wellness visit.
Who's following the protocols of Western medicine? You are. [gasps]
Oh, now make a pee-pee.
[mimics urinating]
Wait, I thought we agreed on poop. Did we not just agree on poop?
Oh, my gosh. You're right. Poop. I'm sorry. I'm so tired.
But you said that I could use it.
How about taking an Uber? Is Uber still bad?
-I can't remember. -Still bad.
I can't take an Uber. I can't afford to pay you rent.
You think I can afford to take an Uber to Litchfield?
You know, uh, actually, I wanted to talk to you about the rent thing,
because, you know, we could be Airbnb-ing that room.
Who's vacationing in Jackson Heights?
Oh, you'd be surprised.
I mean, they can go for up to $62 a night around here.
I don't know why you won't just ask Dad to help you out.
[Piper] Uh, because my calls go straight to voicemail?
[cell phone ringing]
I was really counting on the car.
Oh! Shit! We have shit!
[Neri and Cal exclaiming]
[Neri] Good job!
-[both] Yay! -[crying]
[Cal] Good job!
[cell door slams]
Oh, shit.
[chuckles] Love you, too, Stretch.
Rec time. Line up for rec time.
I got nothing for you, Murphy. Get out of my way.
Oh, but you do. And you don't even know it.
See, there's this hot dog-eating contest in Coney Island this weekend.
My brother is comin' through on Wednesday. Kyle, not Shawnie.
I'm not giving you my visitation time.
It's my brother.
It's my wife.
Your wife. [laughs]
Not missin' that one.
I mean, my new bunkie might be an angry thug,
but she's quiet and she ain't half as gassy.
Maybe that marriage of yours is working out so well
'cause you don't got to share a room.
Why don't you steal a time slot from one of your lackeys?
Isn't that what I'm doin' here?
[Alex] If I punched her in the face right now,
just sucker-punched her nose into her brain,
how much would that cost me?
Shit. I promised Piper I'd be good. I'm being good.
[McCullough] If you're not in line, you're not going to the yard.
Maybe you should take a poke at me, Vause.
Then you'd get a shot and, lo and behold, a spot would open up in visitation.
Or maybe you'll get a shot doin' somethin' else.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Might as well give in now. God friggin' loves me.
[indistinct chatter]
I want drugs.
How about I tell you a story instead?
You see, I got these great stories.
You'll be back. Humans are narrative junkies.
Hey. You all got drugs?
I want drugs.
Do you have any drugs?
[inmate 1] Thank you, mamacita.
Hey, put your eyes back in your head.
Baby, I'm only scopin' out customers.
Relax. That's just a ding for the cash register.
[tsks]
You know you're Daddy's girl.
[Adeola] Hello, my friend. Today is your lucky day.
I have here the finest hooch in all of Max.
Made with all-natural ingredients. Transport your spirit with my spirit.
I can guarantee you, there's no hand sanitizer in my hooch.
I cannot say the same for my competitors.
I want drugs.
Alcohol is a depressant, it is a euphoriant,
it is a sedative, it is a drug.
I want drugs.
I got drugs for you. Follow me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. [sucks teeth]
Well, ain't that some shit.
We all got scooped by the ghost.
Maybe we need to bust that ghost.
Comes a time you gotta make an example out of somebody.
Yeah. Kill that bitch.
[tsks] Easy, tiger. Fear is what we're goin' for.
Fear's what gets everybody back in line.
They won't be able to cut a deal anyway. [indistinct chatter]
[inmate 2] I ain't seen her since she got caught.
[inmate 3] Yeah, man. That's just real.
[inmate 4] It's that 187 bitch.
[inmate 5] Damn. What's she gonna do?
She make me sweat in all my folding places.
I know.
Hey, roomie. Good to see you make an appearance in the fresh air.
[chuckles]
Please let there be a fight. Please let there be a fight.
[stammers] I want drugs.
Good luck with that.
Damn it.
-Yeah. -That's not enough.
-Oh, my Gorgonzola. -Oy.
She actually came outside.
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't-- Don't do that. Don't.
What? Why? I know her.
[sighs] No, you don't, all right? You don't know her.
Whoever you knew ain't there no more.
Uh, no, she is right there.
Okay. You're not really understanding me right now, okay?
I realize that that was once your friend, but now she's a convicted murderer.
She's-- She's a lifer.
I'm sorry.
You know, she used to be really fun.
Like, she almost always wore a smiling face.
[chuckles] And her dancing shoes. Her singing pants.
-She had pants for singing? -No.
Just used to sing a lot and mostly wear pants.
-Yeah. -Doesn't do that anymore, sing.
-Still wears pants, though. -Hmm.
Just now is a murderer no-smiler.
Yeah, and so was the guard that she shot in the face.
So, maybe that's fair, right?
I guess.
I mean, prison's hard, my friend, you know?
It's like, while I'm the exception,
I feel that I've gotten better since being here.
Most people get worse.
Man.
Drugs? I want them.
Fuck off, junkie.
Okay, animals. Back to your cages.
[breathing heavily]
I don't hear no huffin' and puffin'. Let's go, Red.
You know how much a personal trainer would cost you on the outside?
[exhales] You're gettin' the spoils of the rich up in here.
Come on. Show me what you got.
I'm taking a nap.
Uh-uh. You've already napped. Too many excuses, old lady.
Haul your ass out of bed.
A body in motion stays in motion. A body in bed gets depressed.
[sighs]
Red?
What?
Do Russians do pork?
What do you mean?
Every Puerto Rican family has its own recipe for pernil, roast pork.
Mmm.
We love our pork.
Buzhenina.
That's our roast pork.
Tons of garlic?
Mustard...
bay leaves...
sweet onion, peppercorns,
clove,
paprika.
Well, pernil is all about the garlic.
We use maybe a clove or two. Garlic can be so overpowering.
Well, that's the whole point. [scoffs]
[in Spanish] El poder de ajo.
[in English] Never.
[Gloria] What?
Only fresh. I would never use garlic powder.
[chuckles] Not powder.
[in Spanish] Poder.
[in English] That means "power."
[Red] Quarter teaspoon baking powder,
three cups of flour,
two eggs.
Are we playing "Guess the Recipe" again?
[chuckles]
Every cake in the world could start like that.
You're gonna have to give me more ingredients.
Ingredients in what?
Red?
You doin' okay?
I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.
I know.
But we made a deal.
We're gonna get each other through this.
We both gotta hold up our ends.
[snoring softly]
Red?
I know that guy thinks we're melting down a body.
"That's a lot of lye, ladies." I mean, come on, shut the fuck up.
[Polly] Well, now we have to kill him 'cause he's a witness.
If lye can be used to break down a corpse, how is it safe for soap?
-When the fat and lye are combined... -Uh-huh.
...there's a chemical reaction...
-Yeah. -...that turns the lye into salt.
-It's called saponification. -Uh-huh.
-Huh. That's a good word. -Isn't it?
-[Piper] Uh, uh... -Oh.
[exhales]
I'm starving.
[Polly] Do you wanna eat here? I could do noodles.
Mmm, I don't know. It looks a little sketch.
I thought you were starving.
Yeah, but I don't wanna put crap into my body.
You did ecstasy Friday night, but you won't put pad thai in your body?
There are dead flies on the windowsill.
There were no dead flies in my ecstasy.
Excuse me, miss?
Lek, you have me workin' tomorrow. I told you I need it off.
-No. -But I have--
Tom kha gai does not have any nuts.
No, coconut is not a real nut.
[man] Can we please get the check, please?
Oh, right. Coming.
[line disconnects]
You know what else isn't a real nut? My left ball.
So I can safely dip that in her soup, right?
Ha. People can be difficult. So, listen.
I need tomorrow off. Remember how we talked about it?
I thought you needed this afternoon off.
Yeah, both. I need this afternoon and tomorrow.
-Get the guy's card. -Oh, right. Coming.
Um, anyhow, I have to go visit my...
friend upstate,
and it's really important.
And it takes, like, three buses to get there. So you're leaving this afternoon to get upstate?
No. I have an appointment this afternoon. Also really important.
Well, if it's really important...
The dishwasher wants Saturday off for his pickleball league finals.
You willing to wash dishes after your Saturday shift?
Pickleball?
It's like badminton meets ping-pong meets tennis.
You in for dishes or not?
Yes. Yes. Thank you.
Can I also get my check early since I'm not gonna be here tomorrow?
Nope. Bring the guy back his card.
Have a great day.
[Annalisa moaning]
I'm so close.
[moaning continues]
[Dayanara] Yo, what the fuck?
[Daddy] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy there. Easy there.
This is all part of the plan, baby.
I knew you were fucking cheating on me.
You're not listening.
This was business.
Okay, we want her sellin' for us, not herself.
I put myself at risk, my family, and this is how you do me?
You were supposed to scare her, not fuck her.
I pivoted.
[exhales heavily]
He's a fighter.
And they told Vinnie the eyes would get less bulgy once he gains weight.
And all this hair all over his body, that'll fall out.
But you know what? I don't know. We are a hairy people.
Hey, I like his, uh, toes.
-They look like little peas. -Oh. [gasps]
Hey, ladies.
Oh, hey. Vinnie sent over some new pictures of Sterling.
You wanna see it? He has a new hat.
I still can't believe you named your baby Sterling.
Oh, Vause, this is America. I can't give him some immigrant name.
Ethnic is out. Besides, Vinnie loves Mad Men.
Sterling Carmine Muccio.
It's a good thing that you kept the "Carmine" in there
in case white nationalist trends reverse.
He gained half an ounce since Monday.
Don't be freaked out by the tubes. He's gonna be fine.
All the boys in my family come early.
Must be very disappointing for their wives.
They don't have wives. They're babies. This is not India.
It's a joke, sweetheart.
He's very cute.
Isn't he?
Listen, I was wondering if either of you had an old phone I could buy off you?
Huh. So much for keepin' your nose clean, huh?
[exclaims] Yeah, I know what you want a phone for.
When the... when the wifey's away...
[Alex] McCullough?
-[exclaiming] -Whoa!
That's not my intention, but...
-Wow! -Mmm-hmm.
Guess she's from Texas.
All right. So what do you really need this phone for?
[Alex] I thought it was a pretty good plan.
Yellow. Reverse. Green. Reverse.
[laughing]
Blue. Skip. Uno!
Oh! You fuckin' cunt.
[laughing] Yeah.
Blue. Reverse. Uno.
And then, why don't you just take... [continues indistinctly]
[camera shutter clicking]
[Badison] Deal. Let's go. Another one.
[cell phone ringing]
[cell phone continues ringing]
What?
I thought I--
Nothing. You can go back to your book.
[Alex] You can't always calculate for outside interference in these things.
I was back at square one.
At least, I thought I was.
[chair thuds]
I need to talk to you. Now.
[whispers] Somebody's in a mood.
[normal] Nobody look at my cards. I'll know if you looked.
Kind of in the middle of a game there.
I just saved your ass, bitch.
Your fuckin' phone went off.
What?
[chuckles]
It's not my phone.
No, it was just under your pillow.
So you mean to tell me that somebody else got a screensaver of your ugly face?
It's a fuckin' setup.
Not even lookin' at the camera.
You really think I would use this as my wallpaper?
I am much better lookin' than that photo.
Just get rid of it and keep your trouble away from me.
I told you...
it's not my phone.
Why are you still talkin'?
I don't give a fuck. Just get rid of it.
And while you at it, dump that janky-ass shiv
you also got under your pillow, shitty-ass hider.
[chuckles] You goin' through my stuff now? You got some nerve, Jefferson.
I don't mess with your shit.
Hey. Hey, you got one second to give that back.
Oh, oh, is this private? [scoffs] Then you a shitty-ass hider.
Of course your appeal got denied. Ain't nothing appealing about your--
[Badison grunting]
Hey. Hey! Jefferson!
[Alex] Okay, so maybe my plan was a bust,
and I still owe Lorna a three-pack of underwear,
a book light, cotton swabs, vanilla wafers and a clear thermal mug,
the 32-ounce, not the 20, but it all worked out anyway, didn't it?
Guess God friggin' loves me.
We've been down here for too long.
Red is starting to shut down.
And I'm telling you, I'm not far behind her.
This is a human rights violation.
She's the one who fucking did this. I'm the injured party.
I don't know why I should end up in the dungeon, too.
[Hellman] Is she right? Should we bring her back up?
You're joking, right? We found a cell phone with her face on it.
Plus, it's Badison, man. You know that she must've started it.
I didn't start shit. This crazy killer went nuts on me!
Get her in there so we don't have to hear her shit.
Hellman, you all of all people shouldn't wanna see me down here.
Hellman!
[Stefanovic] Yes.
[Hellman grunts]
You know, I thought you might be different
'cause I didn't see your name on that game.
What game?
The game the guards played with us. You know, six points for a fight.
Three points for a suicide attempt.
-[scoffs] Whatever. -[cell door buzzes] Like you don't know what I'm talking about.
I mean, I'm really down here
because you guys don't want me to tell everyone you're the animals.
Less talking. More walking.
-Wrap it up, ladies. -[Flaca] Nice show, Z.
[Zirconia] I know, right? I got a face for radio.
-What the... -Oh, my God.
You gettin' to be a real Mariah.
-You mean "pariah"? -No.
I mean Mariah. Like, nobody can work with you.
[sighs] Sorry, Cindy, but, like, the show's gotta come first.
Prison really does make people mean.
Yeah.
But sometimes, people deserve to be treated like shit.
Wait, you didn't deserve that.
You did the right thing.
Taystee shot that guard. What were you supposed to do?
Whoa, whoa. What are you talkin' about?
T? T didn't shoot a guard.
-Are you fucking with me, too? -No, no.
You were there.
You saw the stormtroopers do it.
[stammers]
But the judge and the jury both said that she was guilty.
So she's a no-smiling, lifer murderer now.
Of course she ain't smilin'. She got screwed by me, by...
[breathes deeply] By everybody.
Suzanne, everything is broken and life is unfair.
When are you gonna learn that?
[upbeat music playing over speakers]
[Luschek] Okay, ladies, here we go.
Warmin' up. And step and clap. And step and clap.
And step and clap. And step and clap.
Whoo! Stomp that hoe.
[grunts] Take a step back.
Whoo! Stomp that hoe.
[all grunt]
[moaning and panting]
[both moaning]
[Aleida] Fuck off, you little pervert!
Can't you chill with that shit? We got drugs in the car.
Damn. Now he's gonna go home and jerk off to the two us.
-You know, can you come? -[grunting]
-He kind of broke the mood for me. -Hold on. Hold on. Hold on!
-[grunting loudly] -Okay. Okay. Okay.
-[moans] -All right. I gotta go. I'm gonna be late.
Come on. Come on, come on. [panting] Fuck.
[both breathing heavily]
That was fucking good!
-[shushes] -Whoo!
It's good to be home!
-Yeah, well, you ain't home. -[continues panting]
You in the back of an old Ford Fusion.
I need you to get your act together, okay?
'Cause I need to be able to leave that Walmart shopper and get my life back.
What are you talkin' about, "leave"? Huh?
You don't break up with the pipeline. We need him right now.
I told you about his grandmother, right? How she chews?
Yeah, well, I got you beat with Margarita's mother.
Not only does the fuckin' woman never sleep,
she's writing a romance novel on a typewriter.
A real typewriter. The fucking clacking is driving me nuts.
And then she wants to read sections aloud to us
about Rodrigo's glistening abs in the fight for the love of María Elena.
It's fuckin' horrible.
[growls]
You gonna be good?
I'll be good. Say hi to Margarita for me.
-I'll do more than that. -Hey.
[Piper] This was my life.
Larry's parents have a beach house. We used it a lot.
-[Larry grunts] -[squeals]
-Oh-ho-ho! -Oh!
Yes! Stacked up at the goal line.
I hate football season.
Sorry. It had to be done. I couldn't let you score.
You know, I was named after Lawrence Taylor.
The greatest defensive player in the history of the NFL.
You were named after your Uncle Lemmy on your father's side.
-The podiatrist. -Yeah, and Lawrence Taylor.
-Right. -It was a twofer.
Yeah.
Wanna go back to the house and fool around?
I'm all sandy now.
Let's take a shower.
Where are your parents?
They're getting cedar planks for the bluefish.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
-Hey. -Race you.
Hey! Not fair.
-Goal! -Stop.
-Wrong football, dork. -[laughing]
Sand! Out, out. Sand in the house. Sand. Sand. Shit.
-Ow, ow, ow! -[laughing]
-[Piper moaning] -[shower running] [Piper] I never appreciated the bathrooms,
the thick towels, the water pressure, a view.
Larry? Larry, we forgot corn. I need you to run to town.
[knocking on door]
[Piper] You could pee and watch the ocean. That was special.
Now, this is my life. Don't get me wrong,
I'm still grateful to be out and free and walking in the sunshine,
but I am still paying my debt.
You got strong thighs. You do a lot of wall balls?
Wall balls?
Yeah, it's when you take the heavy ball and you throw it up against the wall,
and then you squat as you catch it and then you throw it up again.
You just keep doin' that until your legs are on fire.
It's a CrossFit thing.
Wow. CrossFit? I'm impressed.
Oh, no. Uh-uh. I don't do that no more. I broke both my shins.
You never get used to that warmth.
So how's the job goin'?
-Oh, fine. Good. -Okay.
Tips could be better.
Think if I could pick up a dinner shift, they would improve.
So you can't pick up any dinner shifts?
Curfew is 11:00. Dinner shifts go till 1:00 a.m.
Yeah, I guess you can't pick up any dinner shifts. [chuckles]
I got offered a job at a better restaurant,
but they serve alcohol.
-Oh, yeah, that's not allowed. -I'm aware.
So I'm just gonna write down that it's going okay.
You got a check for me?
I didn't realize that early release
meant I was responsible for all of my monitoring and testing fees.
You know, it makes it really hard for people to get back on their feet.
You got a check for me?
Is it okay if I pay double next week?
I haven't got my latest paycheck, and the money I do have,
I really need for a bus so that I can go visit--
Yeah. Please do not make me regret approving that inmate visit, okay?
You pay now or you gonna be in violation of your probation.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Money order or cashier's check only.
Oh.
Listen, I'll let you do it online, okay?
There you go.
-There's a $5.50 transaction fee? -Yeah.
I know. I know. You don't make the rules. And I'm not gonna make my rent.
You live in a spare bedroom in Jackson Heights.
How much could that possibly put you out?
Upwards of $62 a night, apparently.
Can I help you?
As a matter fact, you can. And you will.
You're gonna handle my burrito.
Oh, come on, Hellman. You know I'm tacos only.
Well, Murphy's locked in a box.
Unless you wanna end up with her down in the SHU,
you'll sell the load she was supposed to sell for me.
Why not Zirconia or Eckelcamp? Those are her people.
I'm not even in the business.
You think I'm gonna trust those dopes?
[sighs in exasperation]
Carol trusted you. And say what you will about the dead bitch,
she had a good nose for people.
So until Badison comes back, you will sell my load.
Please stop saying "load."
I'm expecting $1,500 for the wad.
Does that guy who juggles axes still live across from here?
He moved about a year ago.
Someone with a lot of plants lives there now.
Do you remember when--
Piper, I gotta jump on a conference call in a few minutes. So, uh, sorry.
Dad, do you think you could look at me for a sec?
Look, I know I've disappointed you.
And I know that you don't approve of most of my life choices.
And frankly...
[voice breaking] Frankly, I'm not a fan of most of them either.
I mean, not all.
Not all, but most.
And I'm trying to get back on my feet.
And I'm struggling. And I need some help.
Well, at this point in your life, Piper,
you know, the best way I can help you is by letting you be an adult.
Figure out things for yourself.
Maybe if we did that in the first place, you wouldn't be in this situation.
Your mother always said I spoiled you.
[scoffs]
Could you at least lend me $50?
For what? Please, Dad?
Get it from Isabel on the way out.
I expect to get paid back.
Thank you. [sniffles]
You're a new face around here. What can I do you for?
I'm not buying. I'm selling.
Are you now?
I've recently come into an inheritance
and I'd really like to unload it and not step on any toes.
-How much you got? -About 20 grams.
Whoa, big time. Must've been quite a relative you inherited from.
Yeah, it was a rich uncle.
I'll give you $1,300.
I know you're gonna move it for at least two.
Give me 15 and we got a deal. I gotta get at least 15.
You gotta?
If I don't, the dead might rise from the grave and kill me in my sleep.
What's this?
You gotta to put half in my Green Dot account first.
Look at you, professional over here.
How do I know you won't run away with my money?
[chuckles] Not too many places to run around here.
[chuckles] Hmm.
I'll do it tonight. Bring your stuff tomorrow.
Now we can actually shake hands.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Strictly business?
[sighs] It's all business, babe. You're my heart.
Don't you know that? You gotta stop worryin'.
I know. I-- I overreacted.
I've had some time to cool down and I even brought you a present.
This an Adeola special?
Yeah, I know how much you like it.
It's my favorite. After you. I know, I know. I'm late. But I brought pizza.
What's going on here?
It's a family dinner.
Then why the fuck didn't you tell me not to pick up the pizza?
-Honey, I texted you six times. -Oh.
I was busy doing stuff. Stuff for the family.
This is so good.
Oh, yeah? That's great.
-Christina got a job today. -Oh. I'm gonna work at the Old Navy part-time.
It's Old Navy.
That's what I said.
You said "the Old Navy." It's just "Old Navy."
The Gap, Old Navy.
-Shut the fuck up. -You shut the fuck up, you dumb puta.
Look who's talking.
Oh, and what is that supposed to mean?
That she's fucking Angel Ocasio.
She is 13 years old.
What's it your business? You ain't my dad.
You're such a fucking bitch.
[Aleida sighs]
[snorts]
[Swope] Oh, shit! Help!
She had some hooch and she was, like, bugging out.
Seriously, go in there.
[Ward] Everybody, back to your bunks. Now.
We got a 10-54, D-Block.
Please send medical and backup right away.
I said in your bunks! Now! Lock down!
-[indistinct chatter] -[alarm ringing]
[inmate] Okay, okay.
[yawns loudly]
Mmm.
I still got my period.
It's been a long one.
Yeah, well, I'm getting older. Don't remind me.
We could put a towel down.
And fuck up all our new towels?
Oh, come on, my love. We should be celebratin'.
I mean, we did it.
We got your kids back. New place.
We could even stop now if we wanted to.
-You wanna stop? -Kinda.
[stammers] We've been so lucky so far. Why not quit while we're ahead?
And what the fuck am I supposed to do with all that shit I got in my trunk, huh?
Answer me that.
Come on, baby. One more round? Hmm?
Can't have all that inventory around,
especially with the kids nearby and everything. Hmm?
[both moaning]
Guess one more round.
[cell phone ringing]
Shit. Just...
It's work. Just give me one second.
Hello?
What?
Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah, I'm coming now. I'm leaving now.
Shit. It's an emergency, hon. I'm sorry.
We're gonna have to pick up
-where we left off. -Uh-huh.
-I'll be back. -Mmm-hmm.
[stammers] I don't know when I'll be back.
I love you.
Okay.
[vibrator whirring]
-[cell doors buzzing] -[inmates talking indistinctly]
-Get out. -I'm on lockdown.
Get the fuck out. They're tossing cells.
Where's the stash, huh?
-What are you doing? -It's a drug search. They've got the dogs. If there's dogs, they're gonna sniff me and make me squat and cough.
Hmm. No one said this was going up your fuck crack. Okay? Open wide.
-Fuck no. -Yeah.
I am not your Maria Full of Grace.
I know what happens if that opens up in my stomach. I die!
A lot of shit in prison can kill you, right?
-Come on. -[grunting]
Come on. Come on.
There we go.
[gulps]
Doin' okay, inmate? You look kind of pale.
I'm always pale. I'm a winter.
[Stefanovic] Bingo in 206!
I think I'm a autumn.
[McCullough] 112 is hot.
So is 113.
Shit.
It's like heroin Christmas in here.
You feeling okay, sir?
I just saw an inmate as pale as you are.
Might be a stomach bug goin' around.
Yeah.
Yeah, I... I might have a bug.
[door opens]
What the fuck happened?
Since when did Daddy start usin'?
What are you talking about?
They found a shit ton of drugs in the sweep, okay?
This could all lead back to us.
God. Listen. Just relax.
I'll talk to Daddy. I'll make sure she keeps her shit together.
[scoffs]
What?
-You'll talk to Daddy? -[scoffs]
Daddy's dead.
No. No, she's just fucked up.
She's dead, all right?
And so are you if any of this comes back to bite us in the ass.
♪ If our love had a language ♪
♪ Fingers and thumbs ♪
♪ Tumble down here ♪
♪ You tumble down love ♪
♪ As long as I'm breathing ♪
-[crashes] -Whoa!
[baby crying]
-Shit. -[Cal] God damn it!
[whispers] I'm so sorry.
[Cal] Why are you whispering now?
[sighs]
[indistinct announcement over PA]
[cell phone ringing]
I am so sorry about this morning.
Your work just called me.
Woke up the baby again.
I don't understand why you gave them my cell phone number.
I didn't have a phone when I got the job. I'm sorry.
I'll fix it as soon as I'm home.
It doesn't matter. They called to say they're letting you go.
-What? -Yeah.
They want you to know that they like you a lot,
but they need someone with a more dependable schedule.
What about the dishwasher's pickleball?
-What? -Never mind.
This is really bad.
I'm gonna go back to sleep now.
Sorry about your job, Pipes.
We'll give you a grace week on the rent.
-No! -But seriously,
you should really talk to Dad about maybe helping you out.
[line disconnects]
[Swope shushes] It's okay, baby.
Don't cry.
What do you want?
I'm here to see Daddy. We talked about it yesterday.
[Annalisa] What?
Daddy's dead.
-Hi. Sorry I'm late. -It's fine.
I mean, we only have nine minutes now, but it's fine.
Somebody's grumpy.
Sorry. I had, like, the day from hell.
Jinx. So did I.
What happened?
Let's just be together.
I like that.
Mmm.
[indistinct chatter]
[exhales]
I can't believe I'm finally seeing your face.
It is good to see you. [chuckles softly]
How was your drive up?
It was fine.
Worth it. But how are you doing?
I feel fine. Everything's fine.
It's a cute dress, by the way.
You going to a party later?
No. No, I wore it for you.
I wanted to look nice. Besides, what party would I--
I was joking.
Right. Of course. I knew that.
How's the job going?
Thick Thais treating you right?
-Oh, Thunder Thais. -Oh, right.
It's good. It's fine.
-Free noodles. -Hmm.
But I wanna hear about you.
How are you doing? There's nothing to tell.
[scoffs] You know this place.
[whispering] Actually, there is one thing.
You're never gonna believe what Nicky showed me on her phone.
[whispering] What are you doing with a phone?
It's Nicky's.
You promised me that you were gonna be playing it safe.
I won't ever look at another woman's phone again.
Scout's honor.
I'm sorry. I...
What was on the phone?
It's stupid. It doesn't matter.
[Piper] Why can't we talk?
[Alex] This doesn't feel good.
She reminds me of my sister. Fucking bitch.
Maybe I should stab her, too?
Oh, I'm about to beat these fools.
What day is it?
Why are you so crazy? Stop being crazy.
Tomorrow I'll do it.
That bitch is nasty.
I wonder if she killed someone.
She hates me.
Did I shower this week?
I'm so tired of the same conversation.
I'll exercise tomorrow.
I'm gonna go crazy in here.
I shouldn't have said that.
Shit. Forgot my mom's birthday again.
This is my life now.
Is it sweater weather yet?
I should've been a dancer.
Her breath reeks.
Fuck a Jennifer Lawrence.
She likes me.
These bitches need to shut the fuck up.
Dank ass.
Life goal 12. Write an...
I miss my man.
I can do this.
You know exactly...
These lights!
Is that her real voice?
Party of Five. That's the show I was trying to come up with.
She's such a liar.
Her nose is so weird...
[overlapping chatter continues]
I wonder if she killed someone. Where's she think she going?
[woman speaking Vietnamese]
[woman continues speaking Vietnamese]
What did she say?
She says it's all different now.
♪ On the opposite ♪
♪ Sides of the bed ♪
♪ Keep it out ♪
♪ Keep it in ♪
♪ I'll keep you out ♪ ♪ So you never see me unraveling ♪
♪ You want all the promises made ♪
♪ But I don't have the energy to suffice ♪
♪ Watch me while I disengage ♪
♪ You might even feel nice ♪