1 00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:08,633 [cell door slams] 2 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,719 [theme song playing] 3 00:00:10,743 --> 00:00:18,743 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA www.PSArips.com 4 00:00:57,098 --> 00:00:58,850 [cell door slams] 5 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,576 [cell door slams] 6 00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:21,164 [indistinct chatter] 7 00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:28,338 Wow. That's real pretty. 8 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,967 The drawing's nice, too. 9 00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:34,719 Thanks. 10 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,263 You must be feeling better if you're out here doing art. 11 00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:40,642 Yeah, I guess. 12 00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:41,684 So... 13 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,144 you're welcome. 14 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,273 No, I'm not welcome. 15 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,275 I didn't take your stupid pills. 16 00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:52,904 Okay, tough girl. Can I have 'em back, then? 17 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,573 I dumped 'em. 18 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:02,288 Yeah, you did. Straight down your sexy throat. 19 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:05,708 Hey, Daddy. Barb wants to see you. 20 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,919 All right. Thanks, babe. 21 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:13,758 Hey, Barb. 22 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:15,176 Hi, lamb chop. 23 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:17,303 Light bothering you again today? 24 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,015 -Obviously. -Right. Just want you to know I care. 25 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,934 Oh, I know you care. 26 00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:24,602 You're my Daddy-O. 27 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,604 That's right. I got you. 28 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:31,151 So. The rats. [chuckles] Hilarious. 29 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:32,527 [mimics rats nibbling] 30 00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:35,488 -Thanks. Thanks. -[laughs] 31 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:36,781 Oh, my God. What I woulda given 32 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,826 to see the looks on their fuckwit faces, those cows. 33 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,328 Surprise, bitches! You got rats! 34 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,080 -Mmm-hmm. -[chuckles] 35 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,249 You really outdid yourself on that one. 36 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,250 It was epic-- 37 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:51,379 No. I mean, I think you really outdid yourself. 38 00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:54,549 I don't feel good about this. I don't know what's next. 39 00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:57,427 And sometimes, I don't know why I keep you around. 40 00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:00,471 You keep me around so you don't have to bother with the details. 41 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:01,973 Trust me, okay? 42 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,975 Chatty Cathy distracted the COs, 43 00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:07,020 the rats were released, and bam, money. 44 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,063 Because of the rats, 45 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:12,150 the suits think that C-Block was lazy and dirty. 46 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:15,486 So the warden will have to give us the cheese now. 47 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,488 Our people will have the good jobs. 48 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,657 It's been a week, chiquita. 49 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:23,369 Have you seen any jobs coming our way? 'Cause I sure haven't heard boo. 50 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:28,082 Oh, and some little cock-pocket called me "Babs" yesterday. 51 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,417 Fucking Babs? 52 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,629 That is unacceptable. You are losing control. 53 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,380 I'm not losing control. 54 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,842 You know who they're all gonna love even more once this all plays out? 55 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:40,595 Their gal, Barb? 56 00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:42,931 Yeah, lady. You. 57 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:47,769 And who loves you the most? Look. 58 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,318 [house music playing] 59 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:12,001 [scoffs] This is the easiest money on Earth. Look at that. 60 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,586 That's all he wants? 61 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,089 [Daddy] Of course not. Guys always want more. 62 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,966 But that's up to you. 63 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,467 If you wanna make more, you do more. 64 00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:25,056 If not, you grab a drink, food, flirt and dance and call it a night. 65 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,227 -Hey. -Hi. 66 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,190 -You having a good time? -[snorts] 67 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,526 What do you think? Here. 68 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,281 Yeah. 69 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:42,573 [snorts] 70 00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:51,207 [man] Yeah. 71 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,042 For real, you'll be fine. 72 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,887 So, are they all drug dealers? 73 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,390 You think all Latin rich guys are Scarface? 74 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,350 -[chuckles] -They're businessmen. 75 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,270 Making bank off the other white powder Americans are addicted to. 76 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,772 See Alejandro over there? 77 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,400 He owns a bunch of sugarcane plantations in Brazil. 78 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,736 Vanessa's only been hanging out with him for a few months, 79 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,739 and she's already made enough to not work the whole school year. 80 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,033 What are you studying? 81 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,243 Veterinary science. 82 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,705 What is that, like 300 grand by the time you're done? 83 00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:32,707 How many cats you gotta spay to pay that off? 84 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:35,335 [chuckles] So many cats. 85 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,419 Right? 86 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:40,882 Or you can play with one horny rich guy. 87 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:42,592 One. 88 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:44,761 Come on. 89 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:50,600 [mouse clicking] 90 00:05:52,727 --> 00:05:53,728 [knocking at door] 91 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:58,399 What's the point of knocking if you're not gonna wait? 92 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,278 How did this happen? 93 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,452 Do you mean how did rats infiltrate the cheese warehouse, 94 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:13,539 or how did they get that rat into that tiny, little orange jumpsuit? 95 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,875 There was rat shit in every shipment. 96 00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:20,129 All you had to do was ensure a passably hygienic workspace. 97 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,423 You are in charge on the ground here. 98 00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:25,051 -You could be-- -Fired? 99 00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,637 You're gonna fire me? Go ahead. 100 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:28,721 Say it. 101 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,140 Right. 102 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,768 If you were gonna fire me, you would have done it already. 103 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:36,062 I bet you're the type who sends a quick text 104 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,688 when it's time to break up with someone. 105 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:40,691 Which might be the only thing we have in common, other than... 106 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:41,776 You know. 107 00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:43,986 So... 108 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,323 you want my help, don't you? 109 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:52,161 MCC's stock is in free-fall with the riot and the manhunt, 110 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,496 and now losing Grace. 111 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:57,125 That cheese deal was offsetting the cost of housing a full quarter of our inmates. 112 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,335 I'm sorry, 113 00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:03,131 but those are PR and budget issues, squarely in the purview of corporate. 114 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,508 I am way downstream. 115 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,677 You know, for all of his... 116 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:12,765 character flaws, at least Joe was willing to work with me. 117 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,267 This should be a partnership. 118 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,644 Yeah. Two points on that. 119 00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:18,980 One, Joe would have done anything to get up your skirt. 120 00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:22,483 And, two, that partnership ended in a riot, 121 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:27,613 during which Joe pretended you were a mentally ill federal inmate. 122 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:31,701 So not exactly a model for productive collaboration. 123 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,205 Fine. 124 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,834 Can I at least sit here and brainstorm, then? Out loud? 125 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:42,295 -You're not really asking, are you? -No. 126 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,006 But I will order Panera. 127 00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:50,052 And if you want some control over what's headed downstream, 128 00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:51,971 maybe you can help me think. 129 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:57,393 I am gluten- and dairy-free. 130 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,270 All right, looks like you're next, babe. 131 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:02,315 He's really spending a quality two and a half minutes with each of us. 132 00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:05,193 Oh, I'm not waiting. I'm just here keeping you company. 133 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,904 -Oh. Sweet. -Mmm. 134 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,822 But isn't your vaginal health important to you? 135 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,908 Because I know it's important to me. 136 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,285 I'm saving all of this for Dr. Chin. 137 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,330 Frankly, I thought it was Dr. Mouth that you were into. 138 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:19,207 But if it's Dr. Chin you're digging... 139 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,501 Dr. Chin is not a euphemism. 140 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:28,508 Dr. Chin is a small Asian woman with an MD from Hopkins that doesn't take insurance, 141 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:32,345 but she has a full herbal tea bar in her waiting room. 142 00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:37,892 I'm gonna go see her when I'm out in nine months. 143 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:43,689 The time it takes to grow a new human. 144 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:47,693 Getting out will absolutely feel like being born again. 145 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:48,903 I'll probably still be here 146 00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:51,197 when you're at least a preschooler, maybe kindergartner. 147 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,198 That's nothing. 148 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:53,950 That's a blip. 149 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,452 So you're telling me to keep my Dr. Chin up? 150 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:57,745 Mmm-hmm. 151 00:08:57,828 --> 00:08:59,664 And your Dr. Mouth smiling. 152 00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:02,416 Well, at least this color's nice on you. 153 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,418 [scoffs] Thanks. 154 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,212 Not sure I'm into the Florida crowd, 155 00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:09,966 but I'll be perfectly fine if I never have to wear khaki again. 156 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,968 You doing okay? 157 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,011 Uh, not really. [sighs] 158 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:17,890 Honey, Max makes camp look about as scary as a church bake sale. 159 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,393 Yeah, well, I've seen some bitches go crazy over lemon bars. 160 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:22,728 -[chuckling] -Florida, huh? 161 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:27,942 Relatively drama-free, but also about as boring as a bowl of nothing. 162 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:32,905 I once watched a lady watch a spider for 40 minutes. 163 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,282 Damn. 164 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,325 Imagine what it was like for the lady watching you 165 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,702 watch the lady watch the spider. 166 00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:40,580 [both laughing] 167 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,415 [Lorna] It's, like, the best secret. 168 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,126 Like, if everywhere you went, 169 00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:49,797 you just had a tiny, tiny kitten in your shirt pocket 170 00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:51,757 and nobody knew. 171 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:54,510 You could take it onto the bus, you could take it into the movies, 172 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,013 and just, everywhere you went, it was with you. 173 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,474 But if you talked about it, then people would know. 174 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:04,270 -And it wouldn't be a secret. -Yes. That's true. 175 00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,564 And people are always giving pregnant ladies discounts 176 00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,399 and letting them go to the front of the line. 177 00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:10,067 [chuckles] 178 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:12,153 Maybe you should test your powers. 179 00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,406 You are so right. 180 00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:21,746 Hello. [chuckles] Uh, I'm pregnant. 181 00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,914 I was wondering, could I go in front of you? 182 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,542 [chuckles] Yeah, sure. Go ahead. 183 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:33,132 Hold up. Who said you could cut, Barfie doll? 184 00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,509 Oh, I have a secret. 185 00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:37,178 I'm pregnant. 186 00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:41,265 -I'm actually two people. [chuckles] -Yeah. And I contain multitudes. 187 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,225 Oh, come on, let her go. 188 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:46,812 We got a baby on board! Move aside, let her through. 189 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,022 Especially you. 190 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,983 Let's go, Kitten! [chuckles] 191 00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,531 So how is this my job now? 192 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,533 -I got promoted. -To what? 193 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:02,495 To not having to do this anymore. 194 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:08,834 Congratulations, you are now head of Rec. 195 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,586 Here's your uniform. 196 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,712 What... 197 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,173 First thing, you need to replace Chatty Cathy 198 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:16,425 since she fake-died her way into the real SHU. 199 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:18,969 That was fake? 200 00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,012 Dude... 201 00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:22,014 Wait. Hang the fuck on. 202 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:25,184 What does this stupid radio show have to do with Rec? 203 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:28,687 If it's not a job and it's not a punishment, it's Rec. 204 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:34,527 Oh, and the show needs to be informational and educationally oriented. 205 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,278 Here's a list of acceptable topics. 206 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,490 This blows. 207 00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:42,159 Although it might get me more chances at Fantasy Inmate points. 208 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:46,622 You know what the Fantasy Inmate draft is? A slave auction. 209 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,251 [chuckling] Well... we're not enslaving anyone. 210 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:54,004 MCC is, but it's not like they're doing shit for us personally. 211 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,132 Think about it. 212 00:11:56,215 --> 00:12:00,302 You price and trade people based on specific skills and traits, 213 00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:04,682 then you profit off their actions while you watch from the veranda. 214 00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:08,185 The whole thing is morally reprehensible. 215 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,398 I'm sure there are good people on both sides. 216 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:17,069 Don't forget your ball sack. 217 00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:25,411 Mommy, you're here! 218 00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:27,288 Oh, baby! 219 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:31,750 Oh, it's so good to see your little face. [sighs] 220 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:33,961 Oh. 221 00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:37,047 Lucy, why do you smell like... [sniffs] feet? 222 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,551 So this is the place, huh? 223 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:42,720 This is the place. 224 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:43,929 You must be Aleida? 225 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:45,598 That's right. 226 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:48,017 Mayelin. Come in, I'll get the others. 227 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,520 [man snoring] 228 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,231 Who's that? 229 00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,281 I got you a doll. 230 00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:05,701 [Emiliano] She don't play with those no more. 231 00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:07,703 Where's Eva? 232 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,789 Sometimes she goes home with this kid after school. 233 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:10,831 What's his name? 234 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,501 "His"? She got a fucking boyfriend? 235 00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,211 She's 12 years old. 236 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,254 [sighs] 237 00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:22,051 What's up with you two? Ain't you happy to see your mother? 238 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,719 Are you here to get us out? 239 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,180 I'm working on that. 240 00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:27,431 -Bullshit. -[Aleida] Hey! 241 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,517 Don't talk like that. 242 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,976 What the hell do you know about it? 243 00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:33,145 Punk. 244 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,647 You little bastard. 245 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:35,731 -Stop that! -[Aleida] Hey! 246 00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:37,274 He fucking started it! 247 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,235 -He did, the little shit! -Boys, go upstairs. 248 00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,904 Can you people be quiet? I'm sleeping. 249 00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:43,531 How many more brats you got living here? 250 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,908 Just the two boys, your four and my daughter, Raquel. 251 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,618 And her screaming baby. 252 00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,995 My granddaughter's teething. 253 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,831 And my brother's staying with us for a while. 254 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,457 You don't know how lucky these kids are. 255 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,043 Siblings almost never get to stay together. But I took them all. 256 00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:58,212 And I'm sure you're getting checks for them all. 257 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,382 Can I have a little privacy with my kids now, please? 258 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,434 [sighs] So, uh... 259 00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:15,396 What's going on with you guys? 260 00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:17,815 This, Mom. This is going on. 261 00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,860 Mommy, I want to go home with you. 262 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,529 Not today, baby. 263 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,448 But soon, I promise. 264 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,618 Okay? It's okay. It's okay. 265 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:30,744 Hey. 266 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:33,831 Hmm? 267 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:37,918 Take one. 268 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,255 They're healthy. 269 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:46,260 I'm gonna sell a bunch of these. That's how I'm gonna get you back. 270 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,639 Eva don't need to be going to no boy's house. 271 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,391 And this one's all sad over here. 272 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,684 You need to take care of them. 273 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,477 Like you took care of us? 274 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,438 Leaving us here in this shithole? 275 00:14:57,521 --> 00:15:00,316 What took you so long to come and see us? 276 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,234 It hasn't been that long. 277 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:05,029 I've been trying to get a job and an apartment. 278 00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:06,906 It's not as easy as you'd think. 279 00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:08,240 'Cause you got a record. 280 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,035 Right, smartass. 281 00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:14,288 So don't do no crime, and you'll never have to know what this is like. 282 00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:17,458 I heard Daya's baby got adopted by some rich lady. 283 00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:18,542 How do we get in on that? 284 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,921 I don't even wanna go back with you. 285 00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:24,590 Lucy does. 286 00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:27,509 'Cause she don't remember what it's like livin' with you. 287 00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:34,892 Daddy, how much longer is it gonna be? 288 00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:36,226 Asking for a friend? 289 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:39,939 Well, yeah. I'm asking for everybody. And for me. 290 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:43,442 Bothering me ain't gonna make it come faster. Now kick off. 291 00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,946 How's your world, Hellman? 292 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,113 What do you want? 293 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:51,033 What do you think I want? Fiends be feenin'. 294 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,827 Maybe you should have thought of that before you blew up the pipeline. 295 00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:55,704 -What? -The cheese. 296 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,415 The cheese has left the building. 297 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:01,335 Grace Grocer has pulled out like a sloppy teenager. 298 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:04,380 -What does that have to do with-- -Un-fucking-believable. 299 00:16:04,463 --> 00:16:06,507 And what's Daddy short for, huh? Stupid? 300 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,301 No cheese jobs, no cheese. 301 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,136 And by "cheese," I mean drugs. 302 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:14,515 How the fuck was I supposed to know you were bringing it in with the cheese? 303 00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:17,267 You weren't. You were supposed to mind your own damn business 304 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:18,936 and not fuck up a good thing. 305 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,938 Well, we'll have to find a new way in. 306 00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:22,231 Fuck you. 307 00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:25,359 If I do find a new way, D-Block's out. 308 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:27,486 You're out. 309 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:30,114 Now move away, inmate. 310 00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:49,258 [sighs deeply] 311 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,724 [men whispering in Spanish] 312 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:22,833 [Felipe clears throat] 313 00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:28,922 -Hey. What's wrong? -Nothing. All right? Don't worry about it. 314 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,885 [sighs] 315 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,689 Oh. [groaning] 316 00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,608 Hey. It was an accident. 317 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,276 -All right? I swear. -Oh, my God. Talia. 318 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,862 What the fuck, man? What the fuck happened? 319 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,447 I don't know. We were really into it, 320 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,698 -and then... -Shit, no. 321 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,867 -I don't know, she fell or something. -Shit, girl... 322 00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:58,118 What do you mean, "she fell"? 323 00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:01,747 Hey, I said I don't know! You know? She's shouting. She won't cool out! 324 00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:03,082 And she's all fucked up! 325 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,333 It's not my fucking fault! 326 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:05,667 Yes, it is your fucking fault! 327 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:09,004 Hey, you heard what he said. It was an accident. 328 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,923 People are waking up. Gotta get her outta here. 329 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,257 Fuck! 330 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:15,344 No. No. 331 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,679 We can't move her until everyone's gone. 332 00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,808 Lock the door and stay inside here with her. 333 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:22,518 Don't let anyone in. 334 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,728 And you got to get out of here, man. 335 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,356 If anyone asks, you went back to the city late last night. 336 00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,024 Go! 337 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,779 [exhales deeply] 338 00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,697 [Ericsson] Based on copious witness testimony, 339 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:39,451 the US Attorney has charged you and four others with inciting the riot. 340 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:42,788 They allege that you created and maintained a secret riot bunker, 341 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:45,707 and there's also evidence that directly implicates you 342 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,169 in the kidnapping and false imprisonment of Officer Desmond Piscatella. 343 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,214 I've negotiated a plea deal for you. 344 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:56,635 If you admit to the riot charges, they're willing to drop everything else. 345 00:18:57,553 --> 00:18:59,054 This is very good. 346 00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:03,142 It will garner you the shortest possible sentence. Do you understand? 347 00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:05,978 Ms. Reznikov? 348 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,315 This is... 349 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,359 not good. 350 00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:15,279 This is... 351 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,240 not good at all. 352 00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:22,494 Trust me, the lighter sentence for the charge of inciting the riot is-- 353 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,580 I incited nothing. 354 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,415 Here's an insight. 355 00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:30,502 This is complete khuinya. "Bullshit." 356 00:19:33,213 --> 00:19:35,507 You have a family, yes? Three sons? 357 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:44,308 The best chance you have of seeing them again is this deal. 358 00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:49,354 In fact, I might call it your only chance. 359 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:52,691 Still ten years, but you can knock that down with good behavior. 360 00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,445 This is wrong. 361 00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:59,990 I'm being scapegoated. 362 00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:02,201 It was a riot. 363 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:06,788 By definition, many, many people were involved. 364 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,999 I don't deserve this. 365 00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:12,211 If you go to trial, you will not win. 366 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:14,379 Full stop. 367 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,091 You'll die in here. 368 00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:54,253 [crying softly] 369 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,886 All rise. Court is now in session. 370 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,389 The Honorable Judge Roland Corcoran presiding. 371 00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,057 I didn't do it. 372 00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:08,475 I didn't kill nobody. 373 00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:10,394 Tasha, listen to me, it doesn't matter. 374 00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:12,938 The best legal advice I can give you is take the plea. 375 00:21:13,021 --> 00:21:15,607 No offense, but if you gave the best legal advice, 376 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,067 would you be the free lawyer? 377 00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:19,695 No offense, but being the free lawyer makes me an expert 378 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:23,407 on how hopeless your case is if you take it to trial. Don't do it. 379 00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:26,410 In the matter of The United States v. Tasha Jefferson, 380 00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:29,579 Ms. Jefferson, how do you plead to the charge of incitement to riot? 381 00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:32,416 Guilty, Your Honor. 382 00:21:32,499 --> 00:21:34,501 Ms. Jefferson, do you know that by pleading guilty, 383 00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:36,086 you lose the right to a jury trial? 384 00:21:36,169 --> 00:21:37,754 Yes, Your Honor. 385 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:39,381 Do you give up that right? 386 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:42,676 -Yes, Your Honor. -[judge] So entered. 387 00:21:42,759 --> 00:21:45,137 In the matter of The United States v. Tasha Jefferson, 388 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:49,016 Ms. Jefferson, how do you plead to the charge of murder in the second degree? 389 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,184 [sighs] 390 00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:55,981 Not guilty, Your Honor. 391 00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:58,442 [cheering] 392 00:21:58,525 --> 00:22:00,277 -[banging gavel] -[judge] Order! Order! 393 00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:03,864 The plea of "not guilty" has been entered. 394 00:22:03,947 --> 00:22:06,450 -[indistinct whispering] -A trial by jury will be set for... 395 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:09,786 The ACLU is apparently putting a legal team together to help you. 396 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:11,872 See? They believe in me. 397 00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:14,666 Ms. Jefferson, it's not that I don't believe you or believe in you. 398 00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:17,294 It's that I believe you won't get the justice you're hoping for. 399 00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:20,797 -But I do wish you the best. -[scoffs] 400 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:25,886 Stay strong, Tasha. 401 00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:27,596 -[cheering] -[gavel banging] 402 00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,556 We're gonna fight this all the way. 403 00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:31,391 -[bangs gavel] -Order! Order! 404 00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:33,935 -[woman 1] Black lives matter! -[woman 2] Stay strong, girl! 405 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,563 [yodeling] 406 00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:39,149 -[blows whistle] -Stop. God. Stop. 407 00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:42,444 -That's your show? -No, that's my opening. 408 00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:44,279 Then I do some Gregorian chant. 409 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,325 ♪ Sanctus ♪ 410 00:22:48,408 --> 00:22:54,081 ♪ Sanctus dominus deus sabaoth ♪ 411 00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:55,832 Some humpback whale moans... 412 00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:58,919 [mimics whale moaning] 413 00:23:03,423 --> 00:23:04,549 It's a full soundscape. 414 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:07,677 [stammers] It's way too avant-garde for this crowd. 415 00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:10,263 I mean, you gotta know your audience. 416 00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:12,057 Next! 417 00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:15,685 I was really vulnerable with you just now. 418 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:19,272 I'm sorry. I wanted it to work out, too. 419 00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:24,486 -Oh, hey! What do you got? -[chuckles] 420 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:28,406 [smacks lips] All right, so welcome to our show. 421 00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:34,121 I mean, my show. And it's called DIY Fly, and we gonna show you... 422 00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:35,622 I mean, I'm gonna tell you 423 00:23:35,705 --> 00:23:38,041 -how to look your best-- -[yawning] 424 00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:42,379 [sighs] Listen, we had mad followers on YouTube. 425 00:23:42,462 --> 00:23:45,340 -I'm just not used to doing it without-- -The hot one, huh? 426 00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:49,886 It's, like, radio? Hot is in the mind on radio. 427 00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:52,639 Well, her voice was hotter, too. 428 00:23:52,722 --> 00:23:53,974 Next! 429 00:23:55,892 --> 00:23:57,060 Last menstrual period? 430 00:23:57,144 --> 00:23:58,478 Uh... 431 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:01,356 I'm really not sure. 432 00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:03,942 It's been a while. 433 00:24:04,025 --> 00:24:07,612 But, you know, with the stress of moving down here and all the riot craziness, 434 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,614 I'm thinking, it's probably just a little off. 435 00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:12,534 -You're 42? -You don't gotta say it like that. 436 00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:15,829 -Any trouble sleeping? -This ain't the most tranquil place. 437 00:24:15,912 --> 00:24:17,080 Mood swings? 438 00:24:17,164 --> 00:24:21,001 Well, my son Benny had brain surgery. He's alive and everything, thank God. 439 00:24:21,084 --> 00:24:23,461 Then I find out that I can't afford his physical therapy, 440 00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:25,297 so yeah, you could say that I am up and down. 441 00:24:25,380 --> 00:24:26,339 Loss of libido? 442 00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:29,426 It's in a field somewhere, giving my freedom a blow job. 443 00:24:30,635 --> 00:24:34,514 Look, it seems like all the symptoms of the change 444 00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:37,517 could also be symptoms of being incarcerated. 445 00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:38,602 Huh? 446 00:24:40,770 --> 00:24:41,897 That's interesting. 447 00:24:43,273 --> 00:24:45,525 Uh, anyway, there's really no way to tell 448 00:24:45,609 --> 00:24:47,903 if you're perimenopausal without running blood tests. 449 00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:51,114 And I'm afraid another feature of incarceration 450 00:24:51,198 --> 00:24:52,699 is they won't allow me to do that. 451 00:24:53,366 --> 00:24:56,620 Some other signs you can watch for are vaginal dryness 452 00:24:56,703 --> 00:25:00,040 and a redistribution of fat around your middle. 453 00:25:00,123 --> 00:25:00,999 Great. 454 00:25:01,082 --> 00:25:03,043 The best thing you can do is exercise. 455 00:25:03,126 --> 00:25:05,587 It's a natural way to regulate your hormones. 456 00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:07,631 There ain't exactly a Planet Fitness next door. 457 00:25:07,714 --> 00:25:10,217 Have you seen The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest? 458 00:25:11,968 --> 00:25:13,887 There's a lot you can do in a cell. 459 00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:16,932 Oh, and garbanzo beans. 460 00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:18,683 I hear they're good, too. 461 00:25:18,767 --> 00:25:20,602 Phytoestrogens. 462 00:25:24,564 --> 00:25:25,857 Oh, God. 463 00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:36,326 How am I smelling this? 464 00:25:36,409 --> 00:25:39,162 This shit stinks so bad I can smell it through my mouth. 465 00:25:39,246 --> 00:25:43,166 Come on, cheese whizzes. Get her done. 466 00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:46,127 Wish I could help, but, uh, you know, the arm. 467 00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:48,296 Yeah, you know, the laziness. 468 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,839 What's that, Mendoza? 469 00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:52,217 She said it's a shame we lost these jobs. 470 00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:57,806 Yeah. Uh, two dollars an hour is a lot more than no dollars an hour. 471 00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:00,183 Ugh. 472 00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:02,978 Maybe we can take some maintenance jobs from D-Block. 473 00:26:03,853 --> 00:26:08,149 It only pays 12 cents, but that's also more than no dollars an hour. 474 00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:10,527 Stop with the whining and the math. 475 00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:12,654 Fuck D-Block and their shitty jobs. 476 00:26:12,737 --> 00:26:14,572 [chuckles] You know what I want? 477 00:26:14,656 --> 00:26:16,032 What? 478 00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:19,077 I want to make their shitty jobs even shittier. 479 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,998 I shit you not, I want to make their shitty everything shittier. 480 00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:26,835 Shit's about to shit the fan for those shit-for-brains Shit-Blockers. 481 00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:28,920 They're not gonna know what shit 'em! 482 00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:30,130 Yeah, they are. 483 00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:32,674 That's the point. 484 00:26:50,358 --> 00:26:51,818 Here we go. 485 00:26:51,901 --> 00:26:52,944 I need volunteers 486 00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:57,324 to drop trou and shit on D-Block's nice clean unis. 487 00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:00,744 I'll do it. 488 00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:10,587 Thank you, soldier. 489 00:27:10,670 --> 00:27:13,548 The, uh, naked part is not really necessary. 490 00:27:13,631 --> 00:27:15,800 It gets me feeling more primal. 491 00:27:16,426 --> 00:27:18,386 Fair enough. [chuckles] 492 00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:24,351 Gapman! Why don't you, uh, turn that frown upside brown for me, will you? 493 00:27:24,434 --> 00:27:27,771 [chuckling] No. No, I can't shit on command. 494 00:27:27,854 --> 00:27:30,940 Straining can trigger a fatal heart arrhythmia in some people. 495 00:27:31,024 --> 00:27:33,151 -That's what happened to Elvis. -Please. 496 00:27:33,234 --> 00:27:34,569 The CIA killed Elvis. 497 00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:37,947 Just... 498 00:27:38,031 --> 00:27:39,449 [mimics straining] 499 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,785 [chuckles] 500 00:27:41,868 --> 00:27:43,787 Like Kate Moss said, 501 00:27:43,870 --> 00:27:48,249 "Nothing tastes as good as shitting feels." 502 00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:51,336 Tell you what. 503 00:27:51,419 --> 00:27:54,589 Anyone who does not want to shit on D-Block 504 00:27:55,215 --> 00:27:57,050 gets a Badison Surprise. 505 00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:58,551 -A what? -You don't want it. 506 00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:02,055 -It's-- -It's a fucking surprise for the cookies. 507 00:28:02,138 --> 00:28:05,350 If you know all about it, why are you still standing there? 508 00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:11,606 Ah, I think we should stop 'em. 509 00:28:12,315 --> 00:28:14,484 When D-Block finds out, the retaliation... 510 00:28:14,567 --> 00:28:17,695 That could potentially sideline a lot of players. 511 00:28:17,779 --> 00:28:20,281 Retaliation means multiple ten-point incidents, though. 512 00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:24,494 Possibly too many to track, with witnesses. 513 00:28:24,577 --> 00:28:27,956 There's a cost-benefit of widespread violence. 514 00:28:28,039 --> 00:28:30,041 It's potentially nonoptimal. 515 00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:31,918 Plus, there's no points for public defecation 516 00:28:32,001 --> 00:28:34,212 after what happened three years ago. 517 00:28:34,295 --> 00:28:38,800 Yeah, but one of them might cry and rub her eyes. 518 00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:41,302 Ah, bacterial conjunctivitis. 519 00:28:42,095 --> 00:28:43,888 At two points per eye... 520 00:28:44,931 --> 00:28:46,474 It would take a few days to present... 521 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:49,477 I'm playing a long game, Al. 522 00:28:56,067 --> 00:28:59,446 Hey. You're pretty. What are you doing? 523 00:28:59,529 --> 00:29:02,782 I'm strengthening my pelvic floor to prepare for birth-giving. 524 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,161 You know, squeezy chi-chi. 525 00:29:07,078 --> 00:29:09,164 That's kind of funny. 526 00:29:09,247 --> 00:29:13,501 Listen, um, I'm looking for a cohost for my new radio show. 527 00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:15,795 I really sparkle when I have someone to play off of. 528 00:29:15,879 --> 00:29:18,214 We could talk about how to keep it cute in prison. 529 00:29:18,298 --> 00:29:22,135 Exactly. Being in prison is no excuse to let yourself go, girl. 530 00:29:22,218 --> 00:29:25,096 Or, I know, we could talk about current events, 531 00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:28,725 like, "How come so many cabbies wear those turbans? 532 00:29:28,808 --> 00:29:30,643 Are they hiding bombs under there? 533 00:29:30,727 --> 00:29:33,021 Or just really greasy Arab hair?" 534 00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:35,315 -Well, um-- -Oh, my God. 535 00:29:35,398 --> 00:29:36,691 I'm gonna be so good at this! 536 00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:38,693 And because I am the native English speaker, 537 00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:40,779 I will do most of the talking. 538 00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:44,449 You know, now I'm thinkin' that we don't have the same vision. 539 00:29:44,532 --> 00:29:46,910 Okay, you know who'd be great on the radio, right? 540 00:29:46,993 --> 00:29:47,994 Me. 541 00:29:48,661 --> 00:29:49,913 Right, but, uh... 542 00:29:49,996 --> 00:29:51,831 also, me. 543 00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:54,667 Okay, I was raised on Howard Stern. 544 00:29:54,751 --> 00:29:58,004 My consciousness is essentially half a dozen shock jocks 545 00:29:58,087 --> 00:29:59,464 locked inside of a sound booth. 546 00:29:59,547 --> 00:30:00,840 I mean, I'm perfect. 547 00:30:00,924 --> 00:30:04,469 I don't think Howard Stern is really the style I'm going for. 548 00:30:04,552 --> 00:30:08,181 Ah, but why not? The only interesting ideas are heresies! 549 00:30:08,264 --> 00:30:10,099 Well, if you think that, 550 00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:14,437 then you're totally underestimating the power of fashion tips and gossip. 551 00:30:17,357 --> 00:30:19,859 Ouch! What are you doing, did you lose something in there? 552 00:30:19,943 --> 00:30:22,403 I am bimanually examining your uterus. 553 00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:25,240 How is it? Can it sustain life? 554 00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:28,743 How old are you? 38, 39? Every month counts now. 555 00:30:29,536 --> 00:30:30,745 How much more time you got? 556 00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:33,540 A year. Are you saying I can't get pregnant? 557 00:30:33,623 --> 00:30:35,917 -No. No. That's not what I'm saying. -[sighs] 558 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,753 What I'm saying is that you have a limited number of eggs, 559 00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:42,257 and they're deteriorating at an exponential rate right now. 560 00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:43,800 So even if you got pregnant tomorrow, 561 00:30:43,883 --> 00:30:46,427 it would be considered a high-risk geriatric pregnancy. 562 00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:49,556 "Geriatric"? Does that toto look old to you? 563 00:30:49,639 --> 00:30:50,473 It's tight as a-- 564 00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:53,560 That doesn't really have anything to do with it. 565 00:30:53,643 --> 00:30:55,728 Look, you never know. 566 00:30:56,563 --> 00:30:58,648 Geena Davis had twins when she was 48. 567 00:30:58,731 --> 00:31:00,108 Who's that? 568 00:31:00,191 --> 00:31:01,693 A League of Their Own? 569 00:31:02,443 --> 00:31:04,153 Marjorie Prime? 570 00:31:05,405 --> 00:31:06,656 Thelma and Louise? 571 00:31:06,739 --> 00:31:09,784 Ah. Telma y Luisa. [scoffs] 572 00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:11,119 You're trying to inspire me 573 00:31:11,202 --> 00:31:14,122 by talking about a rape and murder movie that has a tragic ending? 574 00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:17,917 That movie was also about a particularly feminist futility 575 00:31:18,001 --> 00:31:23,047 and the impossibility of justice for women within a patriarchal court system. 576 00:31:23,131 --> 00:31:25,216 [sighs] I am full of hope. 577 00:31:45,361 --> 00:31:46,988 Well, if I am not mistaken, 578 00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:50,283 I am seein' some tell-tale scratchy-scratch over there. 579 00:31:51,367 --> 00:31:52,744 Huh? 580 00:31:52,827 --> 00:31:54,370 Yeah. They're strung out. 581 00:31:55,538 --> 00:31:59,500 Hmm. I just thought maybe they had that combination skin. 582 00:32:01,461 --> 00:32:04,422 I wonder what kind of skin the baby's gonna have. 583 00:32:06,507 --> 00:32:08,259 Hey, what's wrong? 584 00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:10,011 Come on. That baby's gonna have great skin. 585 00:32:10,094 --> 00:32:12,263 You know, supersoft baby skin. 586 00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:13,348 Yeah. 587 00:32:14,057 --> 00:32:19,145 I just wish that Vinnie had been there this morning at my examination. 588 00:32:19,228 --> 00:32:22,857 [crying] He's not gonna be there to hear the heartbeat. 589 00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:26,319 He's not gonna see that little pickle in the sonogram. 590 00:32:26,903 --> 00:32:28,071 It could be a girl. 591 00:32:28,154 --> 00:32:30,573 We won't find that out together, either! 592 00:32:31,699 --> 00:32:34,661 Please, Daddy. I'm getting sick. Where is it? 593 00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:38,247 It's coming. Hang in there. You're gonna be okay. 594 00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:39,999 But what happened? What's the holdup? 595 00:32:40,083 --> 00:32:42,460 [gags and coughs] 596 00:32:43,544 --> 00:32:46,172 Wow. Okay. Uh, that is repulsive. 597 00:32:46,255 --> 00:32:48,591 Ugh! There's doo-doo feces everywhere! 598 00:32:48,675 --> 00:32:51,219 -Those Cunt-Block bitches! -This is so Badison. 599 00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:52,428 You let 'em do us like this? 600 00:32:52,512 --> 00:32:55,264 Yeah, Daddy. You let them wipe their asses on us! 601 00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:57,517 Uh-oh, smells like mutiny. 602 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,104 Yeah, it also smells like shit. Do I gotta wear these? 603 00:33:01,187 --> 00:33:03,481 You know this is what it's like being a mom, right? 604 00:33:03,564 --> 00:33:05,775 There's shit everywhere, you're constantly doing laundry 605 00:33:05,858 --> 00:33:08,778 and you gotta protect your kid from the drug addicts on the corner. 606 00:33:09,570 --> 00:33:10,822 Don't worry, Kitten. 607 00:33:10,905 --> 00:33:12,699 Oh, we should worry, actually. 608 00:33:12,782 --> 00:33:17,537 Nothing could destabilize this place like a massive outbreak of junkie logic. 609 00:33:17,620 --> 00:33:20,498 Uh, people will kill to get high, 610 00:33:20,581 --> 00:33:23,418 and these people are already in prison. You know? 611 00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:25,420 [breathes heavily] 612 00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:27,338 Look, you and Kitten need to lay low 613 00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:29,716 until this fever breaks or the supply re-ups. 614 00:33:29,799 --> 00:33:35,179 Oh, man, they baked it in. This is huge disrespect. Very, very big. 615 00:33:35,888 --> 00:33:39,892 That's right. They disrespected us. And you know what else? 616 00:33:39,976 --> 00:33:41,561 What? 617 00:33:42,103 --> 00:33:43,396 They stole your high. 618 00:33:44,605 --> 00:33:47,734 That's right. You can thank C-Block for those shakes. 619 00:33:47,817 --> 00:33:50,486 The guard who was bringing it in? They turned him. 620 00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:52,488 -What? -Fuck them. 621 00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:55,283 Don't it hurt when cunts take what's rightfully yours? 622 00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:57,076 -It is the worst. -[Daddy] Yeah. 623 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,954 And don't it hurt when you're already in prison, 624 00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:01,289 you don't have your liberty, 625 00:34:01,372 --> 00:34:04,834 and some Cheese-Block chickenhead takes away your joy? 626 00:34:04,917 --> 00:34:06,127 -They can't do that. -Bitches! 627 00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:09,422 Hey, be quiet. And, fuck no, they can't do that. 628 00:34:09,505 --> 00:34:11,966 -The bitches are going down. -End the cunts! 629 00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:13,092 Death to C-Block! 630 00:34:13,176 --> 00:34:15,386 -[Annalisa] That's right, Daddy. -Okay. Whoa! 631 00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:17,513 The fuck are you doing? We talked about laying low. 632 00:34:17,597 --> 00:34:21,392 But what kind of animal takes a shit on a pregnant woman's clothes? 633 00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:24,604 I want a better world for this little one! 634 00:34:24,687 --> 00:34:27,648 Let me tell you something. Nobody fucks with Daddy. 635 00:34:29,484 --> 00:34:31,861 And nobody fucks with Daddy's girls. 636 00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:34,697 -[upbeat music over speakers] -[indistinct chatter] 637 00:34:39,118 --> 00:34:40,119 [cell phone chimes] 638 00:35:00,848 --> 00:35:03,059 Mmm, that feels nice. 639 00:35:03,142 --> 00:35:06,604 -You're all tight up here. Are you okay? -[cell phone chimes] 640 00:35:11,734 --> 00:35:13,027 Yeah, girl, I'm good. 641 00:35:23,996 --> 00:35:26,415 Shit! Don't fucking creep on me like that. 642 00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:28,000 I'm sorry. 643 00:35:30,461 --> 00:35:32,755 No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. 644 00:35:36,050 --> 00:35:37,385 You sure you're okay? 645 00:35:40,012 --> 00:35:42,265 You just seem kind of off lately. 646 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:45,309 Is it because Talia quit? 647 00:35:49,564 --> 00:35:52,150 No, no, it's all good, baby. 648 00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:54,944 [cell phone chimes] 649 00:35:58,281 --> 00:36:00,032 But you wanna know something? 650 00:36:00,116 --> 00:36:01,826 Yes. Tell me. 651 00:36:03,786 --> 00:36:05,371 It can always get better. 652 00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:07,373 Mmm-hmm. Yeah? 653 00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:22,388 And I just saw some shit go down in the laundry room. 654 00:36:22,471 --> 00:36:25,892 And when I say "shit," I'm talking about literal shit. 655 00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:27,768 -And the guards didn't-- -Okay. 656 00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:32,481 You need to not give a shit about whatever shit goes down in the laundry, 657 00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:37,361 about what the guards do or don't do, and about anything that isn't this. 658 00:36:38,154 --> 00:36:41,574 You and me. Just be here, with me. 659 00:36:42,241 --> 00:36:45,244 You're right. Be here. With you. 660 00:36:45,328 --> 00:36:46,329 Yeah. 661 00:36:48,122 --> 00:36:50,041 We have a wedding to plan. 662 00:36:50,124 --> 00:36:52,793 [sighs] In four years, when I get out. 663 00:36:52,877 --> 00:36:55,504 No. No. I don't want to wait four years. 664 00:36:55,588 --> 00:36:59,217 Like you said, let's be here. Let's do it here. Now. 665 00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:00,927 I don't want a fucking prison wedding. 666 00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:02,011 Listen... 667 00:37:03,471 --> 00:37:04,764 After the riot... 668 00:37:05,556 --> 00:37:10,853 after what I saw today, and the general depravity of this place... 669 00:37:11,854 --> 00:37:14,065 No matter what happens, 670 00:37:14,148 --> 00:37:18,653 I want to spend these next nine months 671 00:37:19,737 --> 00:37:21,656 with you as my wife. 672 00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:25,326 I want you to be my wife, too. 673 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,996 But why get married if we're gonna be apart for so long? 674 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,958 Because we're going to be apart for so long. 675 00:37:32,959 --> 00:37:35,753 Why say yes if you don't want to just... do it? 676 00:37:35,836 --> 00:37:37,922 -I do. I just... -Uh-huh. 677 00:37:40,341 --> 00:37:43,135 -Nobody could come to a wedding in here. -That doesn't matter. 678 00:37:43,219 --> 00:37:45,179 We can have another one when we're out. 679 00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:46,847 -A prison wedding, huh? -Yeah. 680 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,225 What would that look like, exactly? 681 00:37:50,851 --> 00:37:52,061 [Piper] Oh... 682 00:37:52,144 --> 00:37:53,020 Fuck! 683 00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:57,275 -Come on, it's Red. -But what if she knows what I said? 684 00:37:57,358 --> 00:37:58,776 Come on. 685 00:37:58,859 --> 00:38:01,195 I am instituting our first family rule. 686 00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:03,197 "Go towards the problem." 687 00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:05,491 The Vause-Chapmans will deal with the shit head-on. 688 00:38:06,867 --> 00:38:08,494 [exhales] 689 00:38:11,706 --> 00:38:12,707 [Piper] Hi, Red! 690 00:38:13,541 --> 00:38:14,542 How are you? 691 00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:16,669 Did you hear something? I didn't. 692 00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:17,753 Very funny. 693 00:38:26,887 --> 00:38:27,972 [sighs] 694 00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:32,893 This slop is disgusting, 695 00:38:32,977 --> 00:38:35,563 but I'd like to eat it in peace if you don't mind. 696 00:38:35,646 --> 00:38:38,482 I do mind. You can't cut us out. 697 00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:40,818 Why not? That's exactly what you did to me. 698 00:38:40,901 --> 00:38:43,029 -What are you talking about? -No. Red, let me explain. 699 00:38:43,112 --> 00:38:45,323 You think I don't know you all sold me down the river? 700 00:38:45,406 --> 00:38:47,575 You think I don't know that's how it is in here? 701 00:38:47,658 --> 00:38:51,370 When you want something from me, you love me, I'm your mother, 702 00:38:51,454 --> 00:38:53,122 and I come through for you. 703 00:38:53,205 --> 00:38:54,957 But when I need you, where are you? 704 00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:57,960 In the next room giving me up at the tap of a feather. 705 00:38:58,044 --> 00:39:01,714 Okay. Stop saying "you," because I was in medical. 706 00:39:01,797 --> 00:39:02,965 If you're talking about Piper, 707 00:39:03,049 --> 00:39:05,343 she didn't know what she was doing. She thought I was dead. 708 00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:08,888 I didn't just think she was dead, Red. 709 00:39:08,971 --> 00:39:11,807 I thought that it was your actions that got her killed. 710 00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:15,269 I tried to warn you. I tried to get the message to all of you. 711 00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:17,521 Nicky was the only one who even spoke to me 712 00:39:17,605 --> 00:39:19,815 before throwing me under the bus. 713 00:39:19,899 --> 00:39:21,567 Oh, so Nicky is off the hook? 714 00:39:21,650 --> 00:39:22,943 Nicky showed honor. 715 00:39:23,027 --> 00:39:25,363 Oh, please. Stop being so fucking arbitrary. 716 00:39:26,447 --> 00:39:29,241 Okay. I'm sorry that you feel betrayed. 717 00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:33,412 I'm sorry for what I did. 718 00:39:37,458 --> 00:39:38,751 You know where to find us. 719 00:39:47,676 --> 00:39:48,677 [sighs] 720 00:39:49,887 --> 00:39:51,472 Jesus Christ. 721 00:39:52,890 --> 00:39:58,020 Today's menu would be salt in the wound if there were any salt to be had. 722 00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:01,982 What? They charge you with the riot, too? 723 00:40:02,942 --> 00:40:03,943 Yes. 724 00:40:04,860 --> 00:40:05,945 You? 725 00:40:06,946 --> 00:40:08,322 But I did lock the doors. 726 00:40:09,323 --> 00:40:16,288 [scoffs] Well, at least we can spend ten more glorious years together. 727 00:40:17,123 --> 00:40:18,124 Actually... 728 00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:21,961 they didn't give me any more time. 729 00:40:22,962 --> 00:40:23,963 What? 730 00:40:25,923 --> 00:40:28,092 How is that possible? [scoffs] 731 00:40:29,176 --> 00:40:32,096 It's not like you even have a family to return to. 732 00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:36,267 What do you know about me and who I have out there? 733 00:40:37,518 --> 00:40:41,439 Was I supposed to politely ask for a longer sentence? 734 00:40:43,566 --> 00:40:47,111 Leave me the fuck alone. 735 00:40:47,945 --> 00:40:49,447 No problem. 736 00:40:50,364 --> 00:40:52,575 Selfish, nearsighted, crazy old lady. 737 00:40:50,364 --> 00:40:52,575 [in Spanish] Selfish, nearsighted, crazy old lady. 738 00:40:52,658 --> 00:40:53,659 [in English] Thank you. 739 00:40:54,368 --> 00:40:58,998 Selfish, traitorous pile of hair garbage! 740 00:40:54,368 --> 00:40:58,998 [in Russian] Selfish, traitorous pile of hair garbage! 741 00:41:03,169 --> 00:41:06,130 [woman on TV in English] Point. And flex. And point. 742 00:41:06,213 --> 00:41:08,466 Good. And roll around. 743 00:41:09,341 --> 00:41:11,927 That's it. Remember, you're only as fit as your feet. 744 00:41:12,928 --> 00:41:16,390 Let's do it again. Point. And flex. 745 00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:19,351 And point. Good. And roll around. 746 00:41:20,102 --> 00:41:22,688 That's it, ladies. Let's keep going! Point. 747 00:41:22,771 --> 00:41:25,191 And flex. And point. Good. 748 00:41:25,274 --> 00:41:27,193 I thought this was supposed to be exercise, 749 00:41:27,276 --> 00:41:29,987 not some weird toe stretches. 750 00:41:30,863 --> 00:41:34,116 I know, but it does feel kind of good. 751 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,036 [woman on TV] And point. Good. Roll around. 752 00:41:38,078 --> 00:41:40,289 That's it. Let's do it again. 753 00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:43,375 -Oh, yeah. -[Sophia] Mmm-hmm. 754 00:41:44,835 --> 00:41:46,462 You're right. 755 00:41:46,545 --> 00:41:49,048 [woman] Remember, you're only as fit as your feet. 756 00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:52,968 [all groaning] 757 00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:57,723 Of course. See? Everything is breaking down. 758 00:41:57,806 --> 00:42:02,269 Hey! Quiet! I'm holding auditions over here. 759 00:42:03,521 --> 00:42:07,566 We are entitled to one hour of exercise, and the VCR just broke. 760 00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:09,777 Not my problem. 761 00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:12,196 You got a whistle, so I believe it is your problem. 762 00:42:12,279 --> 00:42:17,034 We need real exercise tapes. Like Zumba or something. 763 00:42:17,117 --> 00:42:18,702 [Chambal] Yeah, or Tae Bo. 764 00:42:18,786 --> 00:42:21,080 Richard Simmons. Or at least Body by Jake. 765 00:42:21,163 --> 00:42:22,998 Footrobics is real. 766 00:42:23,832 --> 00:42:28,003 And there's also Awesome Ankles, Totally Toes, Happening Heels-- 767 00:42:28,087 --> 00:42:29,838 -[blows whistle] -That's enough! 768 00:42:30,631 --> 00:42:32,216 You guys wanna do some exercise? 769 00:42:32,299 --> 00:42:35,761 Why don't you use your fucking fit feet and walk back to your cells? 770 00:42:36,637 --> 00:42:37,721 Now! 771 00:42:40,307 --> 00:42:43,561 God damn it. Who's next? All right. Jesus. 772 00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:45,563 [Luschek groans] 773 00:42:45,646 --> 00:42:46,897 What's going on? 774 00:42:46,981 --> 00:42:48,691 Oh, I don't know. 775 00:42:48,774 --> 00:42:51,151 My reproductive system is shutting down. 776 00:42:52,528 --> 00:42:53,571 And I'm here. 777 00:42:53,654 --> 00:42:54,655 Hey. 778 00:42:56,198 --> 00:42:57,283 I'm here, too. 779 00:43:05,958 --> 00:43:09,420 Okay, I think it's medical that's killing us. Here, look. 780 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:13,841 Seriously? 781 00:43:15,050 --> 00:43:16,677 Where's your sense of integrity? 782 00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,680 You work for a shitshow embarrassment of a company, 783 00:43:19,763 --> 00:43:21,682 and your name and reputation are associated. 784 00:43:21,765 --> 00:43:24,685 Okay, could you maybe lean out for a sec? 785 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:30,566 Okay. Here's an associated concept. 786 00:43:30,649 --> 00:43:33,277 Associates don't do the shitty tedious parts. 787 00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,487 They have eager underlings for that. 788 00:43:35,571 --> 00:43:39,742 So look up some local university, find some marketing majors, 789 00:43:39,825 --> 00:43:41,368 and launch them at the PR problem. 790 00:43:41,452 --> 00:43:44,204 Call it an internship with a billion-dollar corporation, 791 00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:47,416 a leader in the rehabilitation sector. 792 00:43:47,499 --> 00:43:49,710 Pay them nothing. Promise them school credit. 793 00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:53,589 And take advantage of their genetic ability to manipulate the Internet. 794 00:43:54,548 --> 00:43:58,969 Yes! That's genius! Do you see how we did that together? 795 00:43:59,845 --> 00:44:02,640 -[chuckles] -[cell phone ringing] 796 00:44:02,723 --> 00:44:04,725 Oh, good. It's my assistant. 797 00:44:06,810 --> 00:44:09,313 Hi, Jared, I'm glad you called. I have a project for you. 798 00:44:09,396 --> 00:44:12,775 [Jared] Okay, but first, what do you want to do about Black Lives? 799 00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:14,902 What do you mean, "Black Lives"? 800 00:44:14,985 --> 00:44:17,196 The Black Lives Matter people? I texted you. 801 00:44:17,279 --> 00:44:19,406 They're saying they're working with the ACLU 802 00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:22,785 and they want a statement about MCC's treatment of Tasha Jefferson. 803 00:44:24,119 --> 00:44:25,162 Tasha Jefferson. 804 00:44:25,245 --> 00:44:26,330 Right. 805 00:44:26,914 --> 00:44:28,540 Okay, um... 806 00:44:28,624 --> 00:44:31,960 No comment. I mean, don't... Don't respond. 807 00:44:32,044 --> 00:44:33,629 Don't say, "No comment." Just, um... 808 00:44:34,588 --> 00:44:37,675 Ignore that for now. I, uh... I will call you back. 809 00:44:37,758 --> 00:44:39,843 -Okay, bye. -[exhales] 810 00:44:41,970 --> 00:44:42,971 Oh, great. 811 00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:46,475 Our stock went down another point. 812 00:44:47,726 --> 00:44:49,770 Black Lives Matter is freakin' radioactive. 813 00:44:51,063 --> 00:44:52,398 Since you have time on your hands, 814 00:44:52,481 --> 00:44:54,358 I need you to move Tasha to gen pop. 815 00:44:54,441 --> 00:44:56,568 Three hours of paperwork. I'll do it in the morning. 816 00:44:56,652 --> 00:45:00,739 No. You'll do it now so I can issue a press release. 817 00:45:00,823 --> 00:45:04,118 Hashtag, ACLU. Hashtag, Black Lives Matter. 818 00:45:04,201 --> 00:45:06,328 Hashtag, winning the PR war 819 00:45:06,412 --> 00:45:09,957 so that MCC doesn't have to hire an expensive damage control firm. 820 00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:14,086 Now! 821 00:45:14,169 --> 00:45:15,963 Or hashtag, you're fired. 822 00:45:17,631 --> 00:45:19,174 And just buy the fucking coat! 823 00:45:24,388 --> 00:45:25,597 Hey! 824 00:45:25,681 --> 00:45:27,099 Hey, what are you doing? 825 00:45:29,059 --> 00:45:30,060 My bed. 826 00:45:30,644 --> 00:45:32,855 -No, no, no. -Yep. Yeah. That looks like it. 827 00:45:32,938 --> 00:45:35,274 I told you. I told you. 828 00:45:35,357 --> 00:45:36,275 The shit! 829 00:45:36,859 --> 00:45:37,860 The shit! 830 00:45:37,943 --> 00:45:39,820 Can I write this into our vows? 831 00:45:40,654 --> 00:45:43,157 "Do you, Alex Vause, take this woman, Piper Chapman, 832 00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:46,034 to have and to hold through whatever literal shit she encounters?" 833 00:45:46,118 --> 00:45:47,411 Aw. I mean... 834 00:45:48,370 --> 00:45:49,705 You know you do. 835 00:45:50,789 --> 00:45:52,332 I mean, you do, don't you? 836 00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:54,251 I do. I doo-doo. 837 00:45:54,334 --> 00:45:57,045 [chuckles] But this isn't funny. 838 00:45:58,297 --> 00:46:00,257 I just got shat on... 839 00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:03,427 because I wouldn't shit on somebody else. 840 00:46:03,510 --> 00:46:05,679 Then I'm winning at life partner. 841 00:46:06,388 --> 00:46:08,515 [chuckling] And it's gonna be okay. 842 00:46:09,766 --> 00:46:11,435 [whines] 843 00:46:11,518 --> 00:46:14,813 [sighs] This is the perfect end to a sucky day. 844 00:46:14,897 --> 00:46:18,942 Having a strange man check out my unscaped, ungroomed conchita. 845 00:46:19,026 --> 00:46:22,237 [laughing] Ay! 846 00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:23,280 "Conchita!" 847 00:46:23,363 --> 00:46:25,491 That's what you call your party room? 848 00:46:25,574 --> 00:46:28,118 For real. My poozy hair is so long down there, 849 00:46:28,202 --> 00:46:30,204 it's like I got a Wookiee sleeping on it. 850 00:46:30,287 --> 00:46:31,830 [laughing] 851 00:46:31,914 --> 00:46:33,040 Mine ain't like that. 852 00:46:33,749 --> 00:46:37,544 The muffro takes more of a horizontal approach. 853 00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:39,838 I mean, I'm basically wearing a pubic short right now. 854 00:46:39,922 --> 00:46:41,006 [all chuckle] 855 00:46:41,089 --> 00:46:42,633 A 4C pubic short. 856 00:46:42,716 --> 00:46:43,675 Doc gonna be like... 857 00:46:43,759 --> 00:46:47,763 -"Damn! Where it at?" -[laughing] 858 00:46:47,846 --> 00:46:49,056 I'm gonna be, like, 859 00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:51,308 "Good day, sir. My best to you on your journey! 860 00:46:51,391 --> 00:46:52,518 Watch out for teeth!" 861 00:46:52,601 --> 00:46:55,979 "Leave some breadcrumbs, so you can find your way on out!" 862 00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:57,648 [all laughing] 863 00:47:10,118 --> 00:47:13,789 Sit. Or should I say, "Shit," Madison? 864 00:47:13,872 --> 00:47:15,082 So you heard. 865 00:47:16,208 --> 00:47:19,253 That'll teach your sister and those D-Block whores. 866 00:47:19,336 --> 00:47:21,880 Fuck them, fucking with our jobs. 867 00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:24,967 They want a war, I'll give 'em a war. 868 00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:29,096 Barbara and her dyke squad tanked our entire business. 869 00:47:29,846 --> 00:47:32,975 You think skid-marking their scrubs counts as returning fire? 870 00:47:33,934 --> 00:47:35,102 [scoffs] It's a start. 871 00:47:35,185 --> 00:47:36,186 No. 872 00:47:37,020 --> 00:47:38,564 I don't want to start anything. 873 00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:40,315 I wanna end them. 874 00:47:40,399 --> 00:47:42,109 Do you understand me? 875 00:47:43,026 --> 00:47:45,529 Or are you not the person I need right now? 876 00:47:46,113 --> 00:47:47,489 All right, I get it. 877 00:47:48,198 --> 00:47:51,076 Shanks, not pranks. [chuckles] 878 00:47:52,035 --> 00:47:54,580 Are you waiting for a laugh? Get to work. 879 00:47:58,667 --> 00:48:02,504 So, what do you do when your child breaks a rule? 880 00:48:03,338 --> 00:48:06,258 Let's talk about appropriate consequences. 881 00:48:07,217 --> 00:48:10,887 What are some of the factors for you to consider when creating your... 882 00:48:10,971 --> 00:48:14,016 Yo. This shit is so fucking boring. 883 00:48:14,099 --> 00:48:16,977 -[teacher] First... -You think gordo here even has kids? 884 00:48:17,060 --> 00:48:18,979 I guess it's what we gotta do to get 'em back. 885 00:48:19,688 --> 00:48:21,648 I heard the only thing they really care about 886 00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:24,234 -is the income and the housing situation. -Mmm-hmm. 887 00:48:24,318 --> 00:48:28,196 But still, they saying that I need to have separate bedrooms for the genders. 888 00:48:28,822 --> 00:48:31,658 Who the fuck can afford a three-bedroom apartment in New York? 889 00:48:32,909 --> 00:48:34,661 -How many kids you got? -Six. 890 00:48:35,454 --> 00:48:37,331 Yeah, well, good luck with that. 891 00:48:37,414 --> 00:48:38,498 Yeah, but they're all boys. 892 00:48:38,582 --> 00:48:40,584 And I figure I can sleep on the couch. [chuckles] 893 00:48:40,667 --> 00:48:42,377 [teacher] Excuse me, ladies. 894 00:48:42,461 --> 00:48:46,131 I can only give you credit for this class if you're actually participating. 895 00:48:46,214 --> 00:48:47,591 She was talking to me. 896 00:48:48,634 --> 00:48:50,427 You ain't saying nothing I don't already know. 897 00:48:51,428 --> 00:48:54,264 Ma'am, I don't know the particulars of your situation, 898 00:48:54,348 --> 00:48:56,558 but there's some reason your kids aren't with you. 899 00:48:57,267 --> 00:48:59,144 And if you want to be reunited with them-- 900 00:48:59,227 --> 00:49:01,980 You wanna know the particulars? I will tell you the particulars. 901 00:49:02,522 --> 00:49:04,316 The particulars are that my kids 902 00:49:04,399 --> 00:49:06,276 are living in a shitty gang-banging neighborhood 903 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:07,486 with a shitty foster mother 904 00:49:07,569 --> 00:49:09,947 and her shitty brother that's probably a pedophile. 905 00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:13,241 -Mmm-hmm. -And a bunch of asshole foster kids. 906 00:49:13,325 --> 00:49:15,118 So if everything's gonna be so shitty, 907 00:49:15,202 --> 00:49:18,538 my kids and the checks that come with them might as well be with me. 908 00:49:19,164 --> 00:49:20,832 At this point, that's the State's call. 909 00:49:21,458 --> 00:49:26,380 But trust me, the system is so overloaded that if you meet the minimum requirements, 910 00:49:26,463 --> 00:49:28,882 the Office of Children and Family Services 911 00:49:28,965 --> 00:49:31,385 will be happy to return your children to you. 912 00:49:31,468 --> 00:49:33,720 Yeah, but probably not the checks. 913 00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:36,348 -Do you have a job? -Yeah, I got a job. 914 00:49:37,015 --> 00:49:39,309 You wanna lose weight with Nutri Herbal? 915 00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:40,519 Anybody? 916 00:49:41,687 --> 00:49:42,896 Come on. 917 00:49:42,979 --> 00:49:45,649 I see a bunch of you could probably drop a few. 918 00:49:45,732 --> 00:49:48,068 [chuckling] 919 00:49:49,444 --> 00:49:50,654 Don't look away. 920 00:49:50,737 --> 00:49:52,406 [water running] 921 00:49:58,161 --> 00:49:59,329 [Dayanara] What's up with you? 922 00:50:02,749 --> 00:50:03,750 Hey. 923 00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:05,877 You okay? 924 00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:08,964 [breathes heavily] 925 00:50:10,257 --> 00:50:11,758 You been houndin' me every fuckin' day. 926 00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:13,760 Now I'm asking, and you don't got nothing to say? 927 00:50:32,028 --> 00:50:34,614 It's okay. You don't have to say anything if you don't want. 928 00:50:36,116 --> 00:50:38,493 There's some bells you can't unring. 929 00:50:40,078 --> 00:50:41,663 Yeah, I know that. 930 00:50:41,747 --> 00:50:43,248 I've rung every bell. 931 00:50:50,505 --> 00:50:51,840 I did take your pills. 932 00:50:52,924 --> 00:50:54,092 And they helped. 933 00:50:56,261 --> 00:50:57,262 I know. 934 00:50:59,598 --> 00:51:02,017 So, thank you. 935 00:51:05,645 --> 00:51:07,105 Your ass is gonna get wet. 936 00:51:07,189 --> 00:51:09,024 [both chuckle] 937 00:51:09,858 --> 00:51:11,067 It's already soaked. 938 00:51:20,035 --> 00:51:22,954 -[indistinct chatter] -[doorbell rings] 939 00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:40,263 Yo, man, this ain't that cool. How the fuck do you know where I live? 940 00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:41,723 Is your phone broke? 941 00:51:42,307 --> 00:51:44,643 [scoffs] I gotta know we're still good. 942 00:51:46,728 --> 00:51:49,314 Yeah. Don't sweat. You don't gotta worry about me. 943 00:51:52,943 --> 00:51:54,110 For your trouble. 944 00:51:54,986 --> 00:51:57,656 Now you take care of me, I take care of you. 945 00:52:01,660 --> 00:52:04,746 So... [chuckling] you got somebody new for me? 946 00:52:04,830 --> 00:52:06,122 What, like, tonight? 947 00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:07,874 Yeah. 948 00:52:11,670 --> 00:52:13,004 I can do that. 949 00:52:16,007 --> 00:52:17,008 Her. 950 00:52:21,263 --> 00:52:23,890 You got it, boss. Whatever you want. 951 00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:26,017 Give me five. I'll send her down. 952 00:52:30,814 --> 00:52:31,815 [sighs] 953 00:52:33,316 --> 00:52:35,986 Amber! Get your stuff, baby. 954 00:52:36,486 --> 00:52:37,529 Party time. 955 00:52:41,449 --> 00:52:42,367 Yes. 956 00:52:42,450 --> 00:52:45,287 So listen, I found a cohost... 957 00:52:45,370 --> 00:52:48,790 I said yes. You two, the show is yours. 958 00:52:49,541 --> 00:52:51,710 Really? We ain't gotta, like, audition? 959 00:52:51,793 --> 00:52:53,044 Nope. [sighs] 960 00:52:53,128 --> 00:52:54,671 -Comedy gold, right here. -[both squeal] 961 00:52:54,754 --> 00:52:57,173 -Also, I can't take any more. So... -[Black Cindy chuckles] 962 00:52:58,842 --> 00:53:02,596 Uh... how is that gonna play on the radio? 963 00:53:02,679 --> 00:53:03,680 Brilliantly. 964 00:53:04,306 --> 00:53:06,933 So... [clears throat] when do we start? 965 00:53:07,017 --> 00:53:08,643 Tomorrow. 4:00 a.m. 966 00:53:09,561 --> 00:53:10,562 -Gross. -What? 967 00:53:11,187 --> 00:53:12,439 Price of fame. 968 00:53:12,522 --> 00:53:15,775 Also, uh, they said keep it educational. 969 00:53:17,068 --> 00:53:19,446 Now beat it. I'm finally done here. 970 00:53:19,529 --> 00:53:22,157 -No political commentary? -Thank you. 971 00:53:22,240 --> 00:53:24,200 We got you. We ain't gonna disappoint you! 972 00:53:24,284 --> 00:53:26,119 -[Flaca laughing] -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 973 00:53:31,207 --> 00:53:35,211 -[Vasily] Hello. -Vasily? I wasn't expecting you to answer. 974 00:53:35,295 --> 00:53:37,172 Oh, hold on, Ma, let me get Pop. Pop! 975 00:53:37,255 --> 00:53:39,257 No! Wait! I want to talk to you. 976 00:53:39,341 --> 00:53:40,508 How are you? 977 00:53:40,592 --> 00:53:43,011 I'm... I'm fine. I'm fine, how are you? 978 00:53:43,094 --> 00:53:45,305 No, honey, tell me how you are. 979 00:53:45,388 --> 00:53:47,474 Really. Tell me everything. 980 00:53:47,557 --> 00:53:51,061 How are my beautiful grandbabies? How is your life? 981 00:53:51,144 --> 00:53:53,813 Ma, is there something wrong? 982 00:53:53,897 --> 00:53:56,316 Vasily. Your beautiful name. 983 00:53:56,983 --> 00:53:58,485 I don't hear it enough. 984 00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:01,237 Nothing is wrong, kotik, 985 00:54:01,863 --> 00:54:04,491 except that I haven't been focused on my family. 986 00:54:04,574 --> 00:54:07,077 Look, Ma. What do you mean, Ma? You're in prison. 987 00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:08,286 [laughs] Yes! 988 00:54:09,913 --> 00:54:13,833 And I fooled myself into thinking these women here were my family. 989 00:54:13,917 --> 00:54:15,043 But they are... 990 00:54:16,127 --> 00:54:17,837 convicts and traitors. 991 00:54:18,630 --> 00:54:21,883 I've neglected you. Only family is family. 992 00:54:21,967 --> 00:54:24,594 Yeah, well, that's true. 993 00:54:25,136 --> 00:54:26,262 I love you, Vasily. 994 00:54:26,346 --> 00:54:29,099 Please tell your brothers I love them. 995 00:54:29,182 --> 00:54:32,394 Tell each one like you mean it. 996 00:54:32,477 --> 00:54:33,853 For me. 997 00:54:33,937 --> 00:54:35,397 And Vasily? 998 00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,273 Yeah, yeah, Ma. I'm listening. 999 00:54:38,191 --> 00:54:39,859 Come visit your mother, huh? 1000 00:54:41,111 --> 00:54:42,445 I'm all alone here. 1001 00:54:43,071 --> 00:54:46,032 Sure, I'll come visit you soon. I got rugby this weekend-- 1002 00:54:46,116 --> 00:54:47,742 Rugby? [laughs] 1003 00:54:47,826 --> 00:54:49,661 Be careful for your head, huh? 1004 00:54:50,203 --> 00:54:53,331 And thank you. You are a good son, Vasily. 1005 00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:01,756 So what's our name gonna be? 1006 00:55:02,841 --> 00:55:04,426 Flindy? 1007 00:55:04,509 --> 00:55:06,094 No, no, no. I don't like it. 1008 00:55:06,177 --> 00:55:07,387 Blaca? 1009 00:55:07,470 --> 00:55:09,055 Yo, my name is not actually Black Cindy. 1010 00:55:09,180 --> 00:55:11,433 -It's just Cindy. -Okay. 1011 00:55:11,516 --> 00:55:12,434 But... 1012 00:55:13,768 --> 00:55:16,563 my Jew name is Tova! 1013 00:55:17,772 --> 00:55:19,691 We could be Toca. 1014 00:55:19,774 --> 00:55:23,903 Or-- Or... how about TocaTalk? 1015 00:55:23,987 --> 00:55:26,072 TocaTalk! 1016 00:55:26,156 --> 00:55:28,033 Mmm-mmm. I'm not vibing with that. 1017 00:55:28,742 --> 00:55:30,535 Hey, I got it! 1018 00:55:31,703 --> 00:55:32,620 Flava. 1019 00:55:33,246 --> 00:55:35,665 Mmm. Max Flava! 1020 00:55:35,749 --> 00:55:37,250 Yeah! 1021 00:55:37,333 --> 00:55:38,877 -All right! -Come on. 1022 00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,754 [both cheering] 1023 00:55:42,505 --> 00:55:44,424 -[inmates cheering] -That's right! Thank you! 1024 00:55:44,507 --> 00:55:45,508 Coming to your airwaves... 1025 00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:57,896 Yeah! 1026 00:55:59,230 --> 00:56:01,775 That's my girl, Taystee! 1027 00:56:01,858 --> 00:56:05,570 That's the OG riot girl right there. [cheering] 1028 00:56:09,324 --> 00:56:10,700 Oh, shit! 1029 00:56:10,784 --> 00:56:12,327 -[Taystee] Hey, Cindy. -Yo. 1030 00:56:12,410 --> 00:56:14,412 You finally out of Ad Seg! 1031 00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:15,789 So you took a plea? 1032 00:56:15,872 --> 00:56:17,373 Hell nah. 1033 00:56:17,457 --> 00:56:20,710 I'm going to trial. People need to know the truth. 1034 00:56:22,629 --> 00:56:23,963 [inmates cheering] 1035 00:56:24,047 --> 00:56:25,048 Yeah. 1036 00:56:27,342 --> 00:56:28,843 Oh, shit! [chuckles] 1037 00:56:32,514 --> 00:56:34,808 -[inmate] Riot girl! -[cheering continues] 1038 00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:39,729 [upbeat music playing]