1 00:01:17,871 --> 00:01:21,207 A surprising development in the Judy King saga... 2 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:24,418 This photo, leaked from inside Litchfield Correctional Facility, 3 00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:28,256 catches the Queen of Cuisine in a romantic embrace 4 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:30,424 - with an African-American inmate. 5 00:01:30,508 --> 00:01:33,427 This undermines the allegations of racism that have been swirling 6 00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:38,182 since the discovery of an offensive 1983 cable access video. 7 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:41,310 The identity of the inmate remains unknown. 8 00:01:43,897 --> 00:01:47,233 Okay, y'all, so what y'all gonna do with y'all cash money? 9 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,029 Yo, I'm gonna take my girl to Amsterdam. 10 00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:53,531 Rent a bounce house in the shape of a frog. 11 00:01:53,615 --> 00:01:55,950 I'm gonna follow D'Angelo around 12 00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:58,703 like them white people be following that band Phish, 13 00:01:58,787 --> 00:02:00,496 where they spell the word "fish" wrong. 14 00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:03,374 - What about you, Watson? - Oh, you know. 15 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,460 Probably spend most of it on rims. 16 00:02:10,882 --> 00:02:13,217 --Jesus! 17 00:02:16,638 --> 00:02:18,097 Y'all, we ain't think this shit through. 18 00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,933 Man, stop cryin' about it already. 19 00:02:20,016 --> 00:02:23,019 You was so hyped about being famous and-- 20 00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:26,480 Okay, first of all, some brown puffs are famous. 21 00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:27,732 Not me. 22 00:02:27,816 --> 00:02:30,694 And two, how do you think this gonna play upstairs? 23 00:02:30,777 --> 00:02:32,904 Are you talking about... God? 24 00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:35,114 I'm talkin' about Caputo. 25 00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:38,910 Yo, don't even worry about it, man. We got Judy on our side. 26 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,870 Y'all still ain't gettin' it, are you? 27 00:02:40,954 --> 00:02:42,621 She used us. 28 00:02:42,706 --> 00:02:44,791 Now, she out there lookin' post-racial as shit, 29 00:02:44,874 --> 00:02:46,835 and I'm about to get a boot up my black ass. 30 00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:51,089 Lesbians... 31 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,215 Am I right? 32 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:55,551 What the hell is this? 33 00:02:56,469 --> 00:02:58,596 Anyone want to fill me in? 34 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,348 Who was on Judy King duty today? 35 00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:03,059 It was me, but she told me to get lost. 36 00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:05,436 She said she doesn't need a babysitter anymore. 37 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,813 Well, I can see why. 38 00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:08,982 I tried to stay, but she got really irritated, 39 00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:10,233 and Caputo told us to keep her happy, so-- 40 00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:13,194 As far as I'm concerned, she's his problem to deal with now. 41 00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:16,447 But what I want to know is how this photo got out. 42 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:18,742 Eh. 43 00:03:18,825 --> 00:03:21,327 You know inmates. Always up to something. 44 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:22,495 Right. 45 00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:25,498 Well, guess what time it is, people. 46 00:03:25,581 --> 00:03:27,625 It's time for a phone sweep. 47 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,669 Oh, no. Sir, I don't think that'll help. 48 00:03:30,754 --> 00:03:34,048 You know, they'd hide their shit in, like, places you wouldn't think to look-- 49 00:03:34,132 --> 00:03:35,967 -Well, start thinking... and looking. -Okay. 50 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:39,262 You're talking about dismantling every electrical appliance, 51 00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:41,765 lifting up the ceiling tiles, and getting into the HVAC system. 52 00:03:41,848 --> 00:03:44,183 Snaking the drains, tearing apart all the mattresses. 53 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:46,227 I hear they hide their shit in shit. 54 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,979 Like, in the porta potties. 55 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,647 For real. It's nasty. 56 00:03:49,731 --> 00:03:53,484 Oh, sorry, I-- I didn't realize this was going to be hard. 57 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,486 You know what? Instead, let's just... 58 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,571 go over to my place and watch Bachelorette. 59 00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:00,199 Okay. 60 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:03,327 Why don't you head this one up, Luschek? 61 00:04:04,037 --> 00:04:06,330 Think of it as your chance to impress me. 62 00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:10,043 Oh, and one more thing. 63 00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:13,546 CO Mooney down at Max says the SHU's almost full. 64 00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,132 There's one or two cells left. That's it. 65 00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:19,427 Which means we can't be sending people down there all willy-nilly. 66 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:20,511 Pell-mell. 67 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,221 So, what are we supposed to do? 68 00:04:24,557 --> 00:04:25,975 Go freestyle. 69 00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:30,563 I put that donut in my pants. 70 00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:36,110 Now there's a bunch of white girls pushing back on us in the TV room. 71 00:04:36,194 --> 00:04:38,780 We gave 'em Tuesday nights, straight up. 72 00:04:38,863 --> 00:04:40,782 Now they asking for an extra hour on Thursday 73 00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:42,992 so that they can watch something called Bones, 74 00:04:43,076 --> 00:04:44,702 which is about a lady named Bones, apparently? 75 00:04:44,786 --> 00:04:46,495 Give it to them. 76 00:04:46,579 --> 00:04:48,039 You just gonna bend like that? 77 00:04:49,082 --> 00:04:51,960 We got power now. We can't be petty and shit. 78 00:04:52,043 --> 00:04:53,878 They come to us, we should be reasonable. 79 00:04:53,962 --> 00:04:56,130 Also, I want order in the cafeteria. 80 00:04:56,214 --> 00:04:58,466 Don't be marching in there, taking people's tables. 81 00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,426 -That ain't fair. -We gotta sit. 82 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:03,512 So pick out a couple of tables. Make them our tables. 83 00:05:03,596 --> 00:05:04,889 Anybody sits there, it's trouble. 84 00:05:04,973 --> 00:05:08,309 They sit somewhere else, we leave them alone. You hear me? 85 00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:12,981 We don't need the COs lookin' at us all the time. 86 00:05:13,815 --> 00:05:15,524 They already look at us all the time. 87 00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:16,650 While they're frisking us. 88 00:05:16,734 --> 00:05:18,527 Anybody else? 89 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,741 Okay, we're done. 90 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:28,329 Oh, and if that Moroccan tweaker doesn't pay us today, 91 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,331 we start breaking fingers. 92 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:31,624 Dibs. 93 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:35,044 Yo, the stop-and-frisk is bullshit. 94 00:05:35,128 --> 00:05:36,795 I hear you, but they ain't gonna find anything. 95 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,297 It's no problem. 96 00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:39,715 It's fucking degrading! 97 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:43,344 Being in prison is fucking degrading. 98 00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:45,429 There's nothing we can do about it, so let's suck it up, okay? 99 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:47,681 They're not even really looking for anything now. 100 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:48,766 Exactly. 101 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,310 They're just groping us to show us they can. 102 00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:52,645 It's not right. 103 00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,730 Let it go, Blanca. 104 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,108 Oh, and take a shower, man! 105 00:05:57,191 --> 00:06:00,569 You smell like a skunk that OD'd on vinegar and died. 106 00:06:00,653 --> 00:06:03,031 The lines in the bathroom are too damn long. 107 00:06:03,114 --> 00:06:04,949 There's a lot of us. Go now. 108 00:06:05,033 --> 00:06:06,993 There's no lines. I'll cover for you in the kitchen. 109 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,537 Thank you. 110 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:14,708 Hmm. 111 00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:18,796 Bianca? 112 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,134 - Bianca! 113 00:06:24,510 --> 00:06:26,137 Bianca! 114 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:33,811 Yes, missus? 115 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,104 I'm hungry. 116 00:06:35,188 --> 00:06:36,272 I was in the shower. 117 00:06:36,355 --> 00:06:38,274 Well, I don't know what to tell you. 118 00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:39,525 I got hungry. 119 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:48,952 And heat that soup up on the stove. 120 00:06:49,035 --> 00:06:51,120 Not the microwave. 121 00:06:51,204 --> 00:06:53,497 - It makes it taste different. 122 00:06:57,085 --> 00:06:58,294 Margaret called. 123 00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:00,504 Oh. 124 00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:03,757 Too busy to talk to her own mother more than once a week, 125 00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:05,301 and then when she does call, 126 00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:07,636 she won't stop harping on the nursing home. 127 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:14,018 You can't call a structure covered in spray-on stucco "golden" anything. 128 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:18,606 I'm speaking to you. Please don't stand there like a half-wit. 129 00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,441 She worries about you. 130 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:23,527 Oh, not about me. About herself. 131 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:25,196 She wants to get her hands on this house. 132 00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,573 Pack me off to watch Wheel of Fortune 133 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:30,952 and drool with other unloved old people. 134 00:07:31,035 --> 00:07:32,495 No, thank you. 135 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:33,871 She seemed nice. 136 00:07:33,955 --> 00:07:36,624 Of course she did. You only met her that one time. 137 00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:38,876 That's how she acts, you know... 138 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,254 "Oh, I want you to have doctors nearby 139 00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:42,380 in case you need them." 140 00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,091 - It's all for show. - What did you tell her? 141 00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:46,259 Same as usual. 142 00:07:46,342 --> 00:07:51,555 "I'm staying right here in my own home. Go take a long walk on a short pier." 143 00:07:52,974 --> 00:07:55,601 And I have you, that's all I need. 144 00:08:06,237 --> 00:08:07,363 Who's that? 145 00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,073 A bit of a hood for my taste, 146 00:08:09,157 --> 00:08:12,826 but, uh, Patty from church says he worked wonders with her shrubs. 147 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:18,499 This soup is terrible. 148 00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:31,095 I'm starving, but the thought of actually eating makes me want to yurg. 149 00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:35,558 Well, maybe it's because this food looks like something a walrus would regurgitate 150 00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:37,060 to feed its least favorite baby. 151 00:08:37,143 --> 00:08:38,352 I-- 152 00:08:38,436 --> 00:08:40,354 You know what? I don't mind it so much anymore. 153 00:08:40,438 --> 00:08:42,440 I did grow up eating mushy food, 154 00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:45,443 because my mother had the weak teeth, you realize. 155 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:48,029 Is it, like, super bright in here? 156 00:08:48,112 --> 00:08:49,655 Do you know what I want? 157 00:08:51,074 --> 00:08:52,158 A burger... 158 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,036 from Shake Shack. 159 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,373 I legit just, like, teared up a little bit. 160 00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:02,626 Seared on the grill with tomato and melted cheese... 161 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:07,548 On a fresh, soft, potato roll. 162 00:09:08,799 --> 00:09:11,009 -With a milkshake. -Nah, don't get greedy. 163 00:09:11,094 --> 00:09:13,011 It's my fantasy. 164 00:09:13,096 --> 00:09:15,806 And I can have a milkshake with a side of Cate Blanchett. 165 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,185 My veins hurt right now and you're thinking about sex? 166 00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:21,019 No, dummy. 167 00:09:21,104 --> 00:09:23,106 I want someone to massage my head 168 00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:25,066 and she looks like she'd have really cool fingers. 169 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:31,197 Hey, there. You're really being a bit of a downer. 170 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,615 I'm sorry. 171 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,909 Is my mood not up to your standards? 172 00:09:37,203 --> 00:09:40,539 No one asked you to plop yourself down right in front of me. 173 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:43,334 I'm sitting here 'cause we're all friends. 174 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:45,128 Okay, is that what we are now? 175 00:09:45,211 --> 00:09:48,172 You need to stop blaming me for finding someone, hon. 176 00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:50,174 -Mmm-hmm. -It's not like my feelings for you 177 00:09:50,258 --> 00:09:51,300 just went away. 178 00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:58,056 But I... didn't just jump into the first pair of Mookee pants that came along. 179 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,018 I have no idea what you did... 180 00:10:02,228 --> 00:10:03,771 but you sure as fuck did something, 181 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:06,149 because you can't keep your head up right now. 182 00:10:06,232 --> 00:10:10,236 Don't try to change the subject, okay? 183 00:10:10,319 --> 00:10:11,904 It's been, like, months 184 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:16,409 and how do you even meet someone, let alone get married-- 185 00:10:16,492 --> 00:10:20,204 Okay, stop. Stop it. Stop it. You left. 186 00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,039 You were the one who left, right? 187 00:10:22,123 --> 00:10:23,541 I didn't know if you were coming back. 188 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,960 And it's your fault, because you love heroin more than you loved me. 189 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:32,049 For your information, I was clean at the time, 190 00:10:32,133 --> 00:10:35,010 you peanut-brained, fickle-hearted whore. 191 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:39,890 So... 192 00:10:41,392 --> 00:10:44,145 So, how is everyone? 193 00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:45,813 Oh, you know. 194 00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:48,149 --Pretty awesome. 195 00:10:56,324 --> 00:10:57,491 She's on drugs, Red. 196 00:10:57,575 --> 00:10:59,868 - Oh, God. - Just take a look at her. 197 00:10:59,952 --> 00:11:01,912 She's smacked out of her gourd. 198 00:11:08,169 --> 00:11:10,128 What, are we all gonna pretend this isn't happening? 199 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:21,890 Feels like a "yes." 200 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:29,357 Food stays in the cafeteria, Sister. You know that. 201 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,359 I'll do what I want, you moron. 202 00:11:32,401 --> 00:11:34,570 You fucking moron. 203 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:38,907 I think your blood sugar might be off again, Sister. 204 00:11:38,991 --> 00:11:41,159 Oh, you think? 205 00:11:41,244 --> 00:11:43,329 With your teeny-tiny brain? 206 00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:51,504 Look, just take it, okay? 207 00:11:51,587 --> 00:11:53,464 And don't tell anyone. 208 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:03,807 You know, if you're gonna poop in the shower, 209 00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,559 at least you could plan ahead. 210 00:12:05,643 --> 00:12:09,187 Like, do it in a shower cap, and take it with you after. 211 00:12:09,272 --> 00:12:11,106 Just common decency. 212 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:13,984 But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? 213 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,321 I mean, I know for some people, drugs is the most important thing. 214 00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:21,074 But guess what? For the rest of us, we have feelings. 215 00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:24,328 And noses and gag reflexes. 216 00:12:24,412 --> 00:12:28,123 And Janitorial is hard enough without you leaving your mess behind, 217 00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:30,208 once you found what you been looking for. 218 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:35,589 And I think you might have worms. 219 00:12:35,673 --> 00:12:37,591 So deal with that. 220 00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:46,517 -Okay, gun to your head... -Mmm-hmm. 221 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,893 ...do you run over an old lady, 222 00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:51,063 or do you turn the wheel and crash yourself into a wall? 223 00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:52,398 How old is the old lady? 224 00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:56,819 Seventy-six... No, seventy-two. 225 00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:58,737 How's her health? 226 00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,197 -You know, it's been better. -Mmm-hmm. 227 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,451 But she's all there in her head. You know, she does puzzles and shit. 228 00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:07,120 -I think I mow her down. -Me, too. 229 00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:10,416 Gun to your head, 230 00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:13,210 -do you eat ten dead flies... -Ugh! 231 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,045 ...or an alive baby mouse? 232 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,839 -Mmm! Flies, for sure. -Gross! 233 00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:19,717 The wings would stick to your tongue and your tonsils and everything. 234 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,885 Yeah, but at least it won't be wiggling no more. 235 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:24,430 A baby mouse is like a big jelly bean. 236 00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:25,806 I would just swallow it whole. 237 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:30,227 Speaking of flies on the wall. Hmm. 238 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:34,314 Hey, watch out for this one. She's more than meets the eye. 239 00:13:34,398 --> 00:13:36,316 Mmm, I don't know about that. 240 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,820 I mean, we've been friends for a long time and as far as I can see, 241 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:41,113 it's all pretty much right here. 242 00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:43,449 Hmm. I guess you don't know her like I do. 243 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:48,078 You got something going on in that van, 244 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,497 don't you, princess? 245 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,301 Did you get the money? 246 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,680 No, they've not sent the check yet. 247 00:14:06,764 --> 00:14:09,016 --And I think he knows. 248 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,351 He's toying with me. 249 00:14:11,435 --> 00:14:13,562 Ordered me to search for a phone that's currently in my pocket. 250 00:14:13,646 --> 00:14:15,606 No, I don't think that man toys. 251 00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:18,692 Oh, I have a shifty face. I can't help it. 252 00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:20,235 I come from shifty-faced people. 253 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,154 I invite suspicion even when I'm not guilty. 254 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,199 Man, if they trace this thing to my fuckin' number-- 255 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:27,660 Joel. 256 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:30,413 They are just a bunch of bozos who failed Police Academy. 257 00:14:30,496 --> 00:14:32,164 They've been to war! 258 00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:36,627 Inside Weekly has a vested interest in protecting their sources. 259 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,422 You know, I gotta tell you, this pissin'-in-your-pants thing 260 00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:41,006 is kind of a turn-off. 261 00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:43,717 Well, at least there's that. 262 00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,480 DeMarco. That's Italian, right? 263 00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:59,149 Nah, I'm 100% Hispanic. 264 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,902 Don't let the classical features fool you. 265 00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:04,071 I could be up to anything. 266 00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:05,614 Okay. 267 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,200 Take your time. 268 00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,744 Ay, caramba. 269 00:15:15,583 --> 00:15:17,668 Jesus Christ, inmate. 270 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,044 I'm going, okay? 271 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:21,714 Yeah, get outta here. Maybe boil those clothes. 272 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:33,016 Truth is, I don't know what we would do without you, Dario. 273 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,018 You make it so much easier. 274 00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,395 For you, it's my pleasure. 275 00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:41,609 No one calls me Dario, you know. 276 00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:44,987 -What do they call you? -Diablo. 277 00:15:45,738 --> 00:15:47,740 I was a little wild when I was younger. 278 00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:49,825 Went to jail for a while. 279 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,159 What for? 280 00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:53,496 Armed robbery. 281 00:15:53,579 --> 00:15:54,872 We hit up a jewelry store. 282 00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,331 A jewel thief? 283 00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,958 Oh, so you were a bad boy. 284 00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,210 I can't understand what you're saying. 285 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,504 It's rude. 286 00:16:01,587 --> 00:16:03,672 Let's get you in the car, okay? 287 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,427 But... you aren't scared of me, are you? 288 00:16:09,512 --> 00:16:12,222 I killed her husband. 289 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,060 Okay, not really. 290 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:20,564 Careful. 291 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,818 But sometimes I wish I'd done more exciting things. 292 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,488 Not murder. 293 00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:30,282 But... what do I know? 294 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:31,617 Something more. 295 00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:34,244 Travel, for example. 296 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,872 I've never even been to New York City. 297 00:16:36,955 --> 00:16:38,874 Ah, good. There's still time, you know? 298 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,045 I live with an old lady. 299 00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:45,964 I have to send money back home. 300 00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,174 Mmm. Mmm-mmm. 301 00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:49,843 Bianca! 302 00:16:49,927 --> 00:16:52,638 --Why are you loitering? Let's go. 303 00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,140 Just a minute. 304 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:56,517 Why does she call you Bianca? 305 00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,020 She read my name before she met me and she thought the "L" was an "I." 306 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,438 Now she says she likes it better. 307 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:04,858 That's fucked up. 308 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,695 What do I care, right? 309 00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:16,036 I'm waiting! Get in the car! 310 00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:26,379 So... we'll see each other. 311 00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,094 Score. 312 00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:38,433 That's six phones for me. 313 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,576 This is new. 314 00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:57,995 It's my "me" time. 315 00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,830 You get out in two days. 316 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,414 You're gonna have all-you-can-eat "me" time. 317 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:04,251 And I'm gonna need it, the way you're up in my ass in here. 318 00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,296 Look, just 'cause I'm getting out, 319 00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:11,842 don't mean we gonna get all "Kumbaya" and shit right now, okay? 320 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,927 There's gonna be no crying 321 00:18:14,011 --> 00:18:17,014 or making each other friendship bracelets or whatever. 322 00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:20,433 I just thought we could hang out. 323 00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:22,978 Burn your ugly face into my brain... 324 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:25,063 so I can remember you when it's too peaceful around here. 325 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,609 Please. 326 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:31,111 Don't pretend like you ain't gonna be relieved when I'm gone. 327 00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:33,238 Oh, trust. 328 00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,532 It's gonna be a party when that van door closes on your ass. 329 00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:40,495 But you're still my mom. 330 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,707 I'm gonna miss you. 331 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,044 Listen, we're grown-ups. 332 00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,336 It is what it is. 333 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,768 Tell me what you know about this. 334 00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:04,978 - Hmm. - Nothin'. 335 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:08,899 What, you think that's me? 336 00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:12,695 Let's call it a hunch. 337 00:19:13,654 --> 00:19:17,032 All right. How 'bout you let me take this, okay, hun-bun? 338 00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:21,161 Now, we are both as upset as you are about this, I can assure you. 339 00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:25,165 You know, we have done our best, with very limited resources... 340 00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:30,212 to try and... make you comfortable here. 341 00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:33,090 Now, I appreciate that, I really do. 342 00:19:37,803 --> 00:19:40,889 And you repay us by staging and selling... 343 00:19:40,973 --> 00:19:42,850 this crazy photo? 344 00:19:42,933 --> 00:19:45,686 Look, I... I don't want to sound like I'm full of myself... 345 00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:47,896 but, you know, there are people out there, 346 00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:49,898 and in here, in this case, 347 00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:52,442 who are interested in taking pictures of celebrities, 348 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,527 even minor ones such as myself. 349 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:58,365 Mmm-hmm. It ain't her fault the paps after her like a Jolie-Pitt baby. 350 00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:02,577 Ah. You're saying you had no knowledge of this photo being taken. 351 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,913 I'm just living my life, Mr. Caputo. 352 00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:09,710 And while I am aware that a jailhouse romance is discouraged... 353 00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:12,379 sometimes... 354 00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:14,757 you just can't fight your passions. 355 00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:21,429 Now, I'm sure that you are no stranger to the vagaries of love. 356 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,267 Jesus, Judy, give me a break here. 357 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:28,061 The heart wants what it wants. 358 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:37,154 And you're telling me... that your heart wants... 359 00:20:39,114 --> 00:20:40,657 -her? -Mmm-hmm. 360 00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:44,161 What, you ain't never heard of a May-December romance before? 361 00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:48,248 I think it's more like June-October. 362 00:20:50,793 --> 00:20:53,253 I'm the sexy arm candy here 363 00:20:53,336 --> 00:20:56,423 and Judy Pants is my aging playboy. 364 00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:00,427 - Ah... - Mmm. 365 00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:01,594 It's classic. 366 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:05,473 I hear you walk out of here 367 00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:07,976 and went your separate ways, 368 00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:13,440 I will come down on both of you like The Wrath of Khan. 369 00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:14,900 Like in Star Trek? 370 00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:17,778 I mean God. The wrath of God. 371 00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:19,988 This better be the real thing. 372 00:21:20,072 --> 00:21:23,575 Hey, this is a lot of pressure to put on a new relationship. 373 00:21:24,576 --> 00:21:28,038 In your case, I'm sure it'll just bring the two of you closer together. 374 00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:31,541 - I think so, yes. My girl. 375 00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,419 Please leave. 376 00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:57,400 Guess I could grab a beverage while we're waiting. 377 00:21:59,111 --> 00:22:00,362 I ain't telling you what to do, 378 00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:04,449 but I kinda feel like staying sharp and letting them get messed up early 379 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:06,869 is the only way you're gonna dominate beer pong later. 380 00:22:08,578 --> 00:22:09,704 Maybe you're right. 381 00:22:24,261 --> 00:22:27,514 You ever think about how it's weird that there's always a gardener around 382 00:22:27,597 --> 00:22:30,225 when there's a whole grounds crew that basically works for free? 383 00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:33,603 You're right, that is weird. 384 00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:38,358 Also he has really nice shirts... for a gardener. 385 00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:43,821 Hey, you! 386 00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,784 Yeah, you! Stay right there! 387 00:23:00,630 --> 00:23:02,882 - Why are you running? - No reason. 388 00:23:08,055 --> 00:23:09,973 What are you, some kind of perv? 389 00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:13,726 Trying to jerk it through the fence to some prison tang? 390 00:23:13,810 --> 00:23:17,022 I see you around here again, you'll be shitting your own teeth, Pablo. 391 00:23:22,986 --> 00:23:25,113 What's this thing supposed to be, anyway? 392 00:23:25,197 --> 00:23:27,782 I thought Caputo said it was supposed to be a school or somethin'. 393 00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:29,576 Fuck that. 394 00:23:29,659 --> 00:23:32,912 I don't want anyone stickin' anything in my brain I didn't give say-so for. 395 00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:35,623 We could all stand to learn stuff, I guess. 396 00:23:35,707 --> 00:23:37,125 Come on. 397 00:23:37,209 --> 00:23:41,421 They're gonna send some volunteer college derp with a straight part 398 00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:44,299 who's gonna get all Dangerous Minds when it turns out you can't read. 399 00:23:45,383 --> 00:23:46,468 You can't read? 400 00:23:48,220 --> 00:23:51,181 I mean, I probably can. 401 00:23:51,264 --> 00:23:53,850 I'm not stupid. I just choose not to. 402 00:23:56,186 --> 00:23:58,981 Well, that's how they get you. With words. 403 00:23:59,064 --> 00:24:01,233 They put ideas in the words that make you start thinking. 404 00:24:02,109 --> 00:24:03,735 I never thought about it that way. 405 00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:05,320 Yeah. 406 00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:06,989 Well, then, all of a sudden you're like, 407 00:24:07,072 --> 00:24:09,741 "What if other people are having these experiences 408 00:24:09,824 --> 00:24:12,952 that are different than mine, but still totally legit? 409 00:24:13,036 --> 00:24:15,998 And what if I'm supposed to think about that before I start judging their lives?" 410 00:24:16,081 --> 00:24:19,084 That's... chaos. 411 00:24:19,167 --> 00:24:21,878 Yeah. No, thank you. 412 00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:26,841 Should we do something about Nicky? 413 00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:28,010 Like what? 414 00:24:29,552 --> 00:24:33,181 Look, it's not like I don't care. I've just seen it before, you know? 415 00:24:33,265 --> 00:24:35,392 You can't make them change unless they want to, 416 00:24:35,475 --> 00:24:37,477 and if you try, they usually end up hating your guts. 417 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,563 I really just think we shouldn't have done... 418 00:24:42,107 --> 00:24:44,734 you know, crack. With her. 419 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:48,030 Well, yeah. I mean, in hindsight. 420 00:24:49,614 --> 00:24:54,244 Although, to be fair... crack is like potato chips to Nicky. 421 00:24:54,327 --> 00:24:57,164 A little something to slake your appetite while you're figuring out dinner. 422 00:24:57,872 --> 00:24:59,124 Speaking of dinner. 423 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,296 CO Bayley. 424 00:25:05,172 --> 00:25:06,173 Chapman. 425 00:25:06,256 --> 00:25:07,632 -Hi. -Hmm. 426 00:25:07,715 --> 00:25:09,426 Vause and I were thinking, 427 00:25:09,509 --> 00:25:11,344 since you're such a super-nice guy 428 00:25:11,428 --> 00:25:13,888 and so good at moving things across enemy lines... 429 00:25:13,971 --> 00:25:15,473 What do you want now? 430 00:25:15,557 --> 00:25:18,017 -A burger. -Two, ideally. One for each of us. 431 00:25:18,101 --> 00:25:20,645 -With cheese. Yep. -Cheese is key. 432 00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:24,691 Uh... Yeah. 433 00:25:24,774 --> 00:25:25,858 Really? 434 00:25:26,776 --> 00:25:29,987 Sure. Oh, but first I get a handjob. 435 00:25:30,072 --> 00:25:32,490 --You know, from before. 436 00:25:32,574 --> 00:25:34,909 The panty thing. You basically owe me. 437 00:25:34,992 --> 00:25:36,369 Hmm. 438 00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:43,460 They grow up so fast. 439 00:25:51,468 --> 00:25:53,345 Boo. Hey. 440 00:25:53,428 --> 00:25:55,222 Oh, hey. 441 00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:56,931 Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Give. 442 00:25:59,392 --> 00:26:01,811 So, something kind of weird happened. 443 00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:03,230 Oh, yeah? 444 00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:06,149 Donuts apologized. 445 00:26:06,233 --> 00:26:08,235 Right. 446 00:26:08,318 --> 00:26:09,736 No, he did, for real. 447 00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:12,114 He was really sweet about it. 448 00:26:12,197 --> 00:26:14,699 Ooh. Well, good for him, huh? 449 00:26:16,868 --> 00:26:19,954 Oh, oh, hell, no. 450 00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:23,166 No, no, no, Doggett. That ain't the way this works. 451 00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:26,586 He doesn't get to constantly rape someone and then apologize and make it go away. 452 00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:29,046 I'm not saying it's gotta just "go away." 453 00:26:31,174 --> 00:26:34,802 Boo, I am so tired of walking around feeling shitty every day. 454 00:26:34,886 --> 00:26:37,555 Fine, but guess what? 455 00:26:37,639 --> 00:26:40,725 He gets to feel shitty for the rest of his natural life. 456 00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:44,146 Oh, and beyond when he's a tandoori skewer in hell. 457 00:26:44,229 --> 00:26:48,691 What if he's just like a regular person who made a mistake? 458 00:26:50,026 --> 00:26:53,363 Right? I mean, come on, we both know I'm not innocent. 459 00:26:53,446 --> 00:26:54,864 Yeah, but you never-- 460 00:26:56,032 --> 00:26:57,617 Okay, you did... 461 00:26:57,700 --> 00:26:59,494 shoot a human being with a hunting rifle. 462 00:26:59,577 --> 00:27:00,953 But she had it coming. 463 00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:06,083 No, she didn't. 464 00:27:07,084 --> 00:27:10,297 I do not like where this is headed. 465 00:27:11,339 --> 00:27:14,509 Oh, Boo, he ain't goin' anywhere, okay? 466 00:27:14,592 --> 00:27:16,886 And we all live here together. 467 00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:19,972 And I'm really tired of walkin' around like a dog with mange. 468 00:27:20,056 --> 00:27:22,684 You should've rammed that broomstick right up his sphincter 469 00:27:22,767 --> 00:27:24,018 when you had the chance! 470 00:27:25,187 --> 00:27:28,481 You know, the thing is, I really liked him before all that happened. 471 00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:32,860 If you go back to giving that maggot the time of day, 472 00:27:32,944 --> 00:27:37,031 I swear to fuckin' God, Doggett, to God... 473 00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:38,157 I'm done with you! 474 00:27:40,327 --> 00:27:43,079 Fuckin' kiddin' me with this shit. 475 00:27:59,053 --> 00:28:00,513 How's it going, kids? 476 00:28:06,603 --> 00:28:08,271 You're sure feeling frisky today. 477 00:28:09,356 --> 00:28:13,067 I've transgressed, and I'm ready to accept my punishment. 478 00:28:20,157 --> 00:28:22,159 Yo, McCullough. 479 00:28:23,703 --> 00:28:26,748 I believe this makes the score 11 to 8. 480 00:28:26,831 --> 00:28:28,291 God damn it. 481 00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:31,378 Uh, say a dozen Hail Marys or something. 482 00:28:34,464 --> 00:28:37,634 It was actually super nice. We went to Starbucks in Hoboken. 483 00:28:38,426 --> 00:28:40,011 Did you know you can get a Frappuccino there 484 00:28:40,094 --> 00:28:41,554 that tastes just like Fruity Pebbles? 485 00:28:41,638 --> 00:28:44,349 -Get out. -It's on the secret menu. 486 00:28:44,432 --> 00:28:47,810 -Vince told me about it. -Oh... that's nice. 487 00:28:48,728 --> 00:28:49,896 Did he talk about me? 488 00:28:49,979 --> 00:28:51,773 Oh, of course, he did. 489 00:28:51,856 --> 00:28:53,316 Kept sayin' how much he misses you. 490 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,735 Well, if he misses me so much, why'd he skip visitation? 491 00:28:55,818 --> 00:28:57,111 Why is he dodging my calls? 492 00:28:57,194 --> 00:29:00,490 It's a long drive, Lorna. And he works. 493 00:29:00,573 --> 00:29:04,494 And the football just started. You know how boys are. 494 00:29:04,577 --> 00:29:05,953 I thought you're supposed to be on my side. 495 00:29:06,037 --> 00:29:07,872 I am. I am. 496 00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:09,582 I'm just saying, you know. 497 00:29:10,667 --> 00:29:13,878 I think he's a good person. Real sweet. 498 00:29:16,172 --> 00:29:17,757 Did he mention anyone else? 499 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:19,467 Nothing like that. 500 00:29:20,552 --> 00:29:23,888 I mean, honestly, he seems kinda lonely. 501 00:29:23,971 --> 00:29:25,181 Good. 502 00:29:26,599 --> 00:29:29,352 I invited him to our tailgate next weekend. 503 00:29:30,562 --> 00:29:32,522 -Really? -Why not? 504 00:29:32,605 --> 00:29:33,981 I figured he and Jack would get along. 505 00:29:34,065 --> 00:29:35,483 Oh, he and Jack? 506 00:29:35,567 --> 00:29:39,612 Sure. He's so funny, that Vinny. 507 00:29:39,696 --> 00:29:40,988 I know. I know he's funny. 508 00:29:41,072 --> 00:29:44,241 Because he's my husband, 'cause I married him, in case you forgot. 509 00:29:44,326 --> 00:29:46,286 You asked me to go meet up with him. 510 00:29:50,665 --> 00:29:53,751 -What did you wear? -The usual. 511 00:29:53,835 --> 00:29:55,670 A top and a skirt. 512 00:29:57,129 --> 00:30:00,091 Oh, my God! 513 00:30:01,634 --> 00:30:02,760 Oh... 514 00:30:12,812 --> 00:30:14,397 Guess who didn't get frisked today? 515 00:30:14,481 --> 00:30:15,815 This guy. 516 00:30:15,898 --> 00:30:17,734 What'd you do, dress up like a book? 517 00:30:17,817 --> 00:30:19,026 No. 518 00:30:19,110 --> 00:30:21,363 I didn't do anything. Including shower. 519 00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:23,406 If you stink, they don't touch you. 520 00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:25,533 - Gross, man. - Gross? 521 00:30:25,617 --> 00:30:27,369 I'm a rebel genius. 522 00:30:27,452 --> 00:30:29,329 The Che Guevara of hallway groping. 523 00:30:29,412 --> 00:30:33,165 People already think Dominicans are dirty and low class. 524 00:30:33,249 --> 00:30:34,250 Where's your dignity? 525 00:30:34,334 --> 00:30:36,711 If dignity for you is letting a guard stick his hand up your shirt, 526 00:30:36,794 --> 00:30:37,920 then be my guest. 527 00:30:38,004 --> 00:30:39,422 Yo, she do got a point. 528 00:30:39,506 --> 00:30:41,841 Oh-- Nah, B. I gotta shower every day, 529 00:30:41,924 --> 00:30:44,260 or I get sticky between my tetas. 530 00:30:46,095 --> 00:30:47,472 You don't gotta be dirty. 531 00:30:48,556 --> 00:30:49,974 You just gotta smell bad. 532 00:30:50,892 --> 00:30:51,934 I see. 533 00:30:52,018 --> 00:30:54,228 A little behind the ears? 534 00:30:54,311 --> 00:30:56,022 They treat us like we're not people. 535 00:30:56,105 --> 00:30:58,358 I got these pudding cups from commissary 536 00:30:58,441 --> 00:31:01,235 and when I opened one, it was rancid. Smells like a fart died. 537 00:31:02,362 --> 00:31:05,281 This pepper shit makes my eyes water. 538 00:31:06,408 --> 00:31:07,534 Now you're talking. 539 00:31:09,869 --> 00:31:11,788 Oh, shit. 540 00:31:13,456 --> 00:31:16,083 - It burns! It burns! Shit! 541 00:31:18,252 --> 00:31:19,796 Ah! Shit! 542 00:31:22,256 --> 00:31:24,592 Oh, come on! 543 00:31:24,676 --> 00:31:27,136 I've been looking for this church door for ten minutes 544 00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:29,305 and it was right there in your pile. 545 00:31:29,389 --> 00:31:30,807 Sorry. 546 00:31:33,935 --> 00:31:35,269 Where's Dario? 547 00:31:35,352 --> 00:31:37,229 I had to let him go. 548 00:31:37,814 --> 00:31:39,023 He did something wrong? 549 00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:42,402 I felt he wasn't as focused as he should be. 550 00:31:43,695 --> 00:31:45,029 What are you saying? 551 00:31:45,112 --> 00:31:49,701 I'm saying that you have a job to do, and he was a big distraction. 552 00:31:49,784 --> 00:31:52,119 And those tattoos. 553 00:31:52,203 --> 00:31:55,081 You're jealous... because we had fun. 554 00:31:55,164 --> 00:31:59,126 Fun? I saw the way he looked at you. Dirty! 555 00:31:59,210 --> 00:32:00,878 You get involved with a person like that 556 00:32:00,962 --> 00:32:03,172 and you'll regret it, sooner rather than later. 557 00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:04,298 I promise you. 558 00:32:04,381 --> 00:32:06,676 Now, I-- I have to go to the little girls' room. 559 00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:08,344 That was his job. 560 00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:10,930 That's how he earns a living. 561 00:32:12,056 --> 00:32:13,558 He's a person. 562 00:32:13,641 --> 00:32:15,560 And I'm a person. 563 00:32:15,643 --> 00:32:17,394 I don't just live to work for you. 564 00:32:17,479 --> 00:32:19,355 I'm not going to be around forever, honey. 565 00:32:19,439 --> 00:32:21,649 And I have half a mind to leave this house to you, 566 00:32:21,733 --> 00:32:23,943 if only to teach Margaret a lesson. 567 00:32:24,026 --> 00:32:25,695 So, you keep playing your cards right 568 00:32:25,778 --> 00:32:27,363 and you might be looking at a very bright future. 569 00:32:27,447 --> 00:32:30,617 But I have to put my life and my hoo-ha in storage. 570 00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:33,035 Don't be vulgar, Bianca. 571 00:32:33,119 --> 00:32:34,704 Now, I said I have to pee! 572 00:32:59,646 --> 00:33:02,857 Let's talk about how my cousin got tackled in the woods. 573 00:33:04,358 --> 00:33:06,068 He's burnt on this job now. 574 00:33:06,569 --> 00:33:08,404 -Yeah, that's a downer. -Really? 575 00:33:08,488 --> 00:33:10,782 You wanna cut the attitude or should I come back with some friends? 576 00:33:10,865 --> 00:33:12,617 I got nothing to do with that, okay? 577 00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:14,076 I can't help what happens out there. 578 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,579 You think I'm some kind of shit-for-brains? 579 00:33:16,663 --> 00:33:19,331 You tell me you don't want to run no more and three days later 580 00:33:19,415 --> 00:33:22,084 the game blows up when there's no one around except you? 581 00:33:23,085 --> 00:33:26,255 That creepy guard was all up in it, you can ask Gonzales. 582 00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:28,299 Lurking around, dropping hints and shit. 583 00:33:28,382 --> 00:33:30,051 It was gonna go jank any minute, I'm telling you. 584 00:33:30,134 --> 00:33:31,886 Then you come to me about it. 585 00:33:31,969 --> 00:33:34,346 This is my business and I make the fucking decisions-- 586 00:33:34,430 --> 00:33:35,807 Oh, I know you do. 587 00:33:35,890 --> 00:33:38,225 And if he came after us, you would've decided 588 00:33:38,309 --> 00:33:40,227 to push me under the bus in one second. 589 00:33:40,311 --> 00:33:41,938 And walk away like you never knew me, 590 00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:43,731 and don't even try to front like that ain't the truth. 591 00:33:45,232 --> 00:33:46,609 Van. 592 00:33:46,693 --> 00:33:48,319 It's not a bus, it's a van. 593 00:33:50,112 --> 00:33:53,449 I saved you. And I ain't even Dominican. 594 00:33:54,867 --> 00:33:57,870 So, if you wanna bruise me up, I guess I can't do much about it. 595 00:34:01,415 --> 00:34:02,792 Walk, Ramos! 596 00:34:06,087 --> 00:34:07,129 Faster. 597 00:34:14,220 --> 00:34:15,930 Think about it this way... 598 00:34:16,013 --> 00:34:20,309 You have maybe five minutes of pig-in-a-blanket... 599 00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:23,020 for eight or nine minutes of pure burger bliss. 600 00:34:23,104 --> 00:34:25,314 Just don't look down because if his dick looks like a chicken neck, 601 00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:26,440 you'll never unsee it. 602 00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:28,776 Why are we assuming that I'm the one who's going to be doing it? 603 00:34:28,860 --> 00:34:30,402 'Cause you're the straight one. 604 00:34:30,486 --> 00:34:33,948 Fuck you. Guaranteed lifetime tally, you have given more handjobs than I have. 605 00:34:34,031 --> 00:34:36,075 -Ten to one. -Only to get out of having sex. 606 00:34:36,158 --> 00:34:37,619 Whereas I just had the sex. 607 00:34:37,702 --> 00:34:40,371 Ergo, this is your field of expertise. 608 00:34:40,454 --> 00:34:42,665 You think this kid needs an expert? 609 00:34:42,749 --> 00:34:44,626 I seriously doubt he's a connoisseur. 610 00:34:44,709 --> 00:34:47,378 Also, you're the one that gave him the handjob idea to begin with. 611 00:34:47,461 --> 00:34:50,965 Because society has conditioned me to see female sexuality as currency. 612 00:34:51,048 --> 00:34:54,719 Right! And it's time to spend a little in exchange for a burger. 613 00:34:54,802 --> 00:34:56,387 Touché. 614 00:35:02,101 --> 00:35:03,477 How're you doing? 615 00:35:05,605 --> 00:35:08,775 Um, I mean, I have nightmares, paranoia... 616 00:35:10,567 --> 00:35:12,695 sweaty, PTSD micro-flashbacks, 617 00:35:12,779 --> 00:35:15,698 but other than that... it's horrible. 618 00:35:19,786 --> 00:35:21,537 I'm sorry I didn't believe you. 619 00:35:25,124 --> 00:35:28,044 I did sound insane. I get that. 620 00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:31,839 I guess we're not gonna get those burgers, huh? 621 00:35:31,923 --> 00:35:33,132 Probably not. 622 00:35:34,550 --> 00:35:36,010 Also, because we could both probably use, 623 00:35:36,093 --> 00:35:40,014 like, a week where we don't do something pathetic and/or... 624 00:35:40,097 --> 00:35:41,182 morally incriminating. 625 00:35:41,265 --> 00:35:42,642 Where your first thought in the morning isn't, 626 00:35:42,725 --> 00:35:45,144 "I have defiled myself in the eyes of God and man." 627 00:35:45,227 --> 00:35:46,979 Imagine what that would feel like. 628 00:35:48,439 --> 00:35:49,857 It's no melted cheese and onion. 629 00:35:54,111 --> 00:35:55,279 Next! 630 00:35:57,614 --> 00:35:58,700 Whoa! 631 00:35:59,867 --> 00:36:02,036 Man, I know Latina girls are supposed to be spicy, 632 00:36:02,119 --> 00:36:03,495 but I had no idea it was this literal. 633 00:36:03,579 --> 00:36:06,040 You ever hear anything about a general fishiness? 634 00:36:06,123 --> 00:36:07,166 -Hey! -Hmm? 635 00:36:07,249 --> 00:36:08,584 You might want to check in with Medical, inmate. 636 00:36:08,668 --> 00:36:10,252 -Hmm? -Mmm-hmm. 637 00:36:15,675 --> 00:36:16,926 Ugh! 638 00:36:17,969 --> 00:36:19,595 I thought I told you to shower, Flores. 639 00:36:19,679 --> 00:36:21,472 Oh, yeah, I plan to get on that. 640 00:36:22,473 --> 00:36:25,142 This isn't BO. 641 00:36:25,226 --> 00:36:26,978 You've doused yourself in something evil. 642 00:36:28,938 --> 00:36:30,231 Is this some kind of game? 643 00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:32,859 Jenga is a game. 644 00:36:32,942 --> 00:36:35,277 -This is civil disobedience. -Yeah, well, it's over. 645 00:36:35,361 --> 00:36:37,780 Next time I see you, you smell like a goddamn daisy 646 00:36:37,864 --> 00:36:39,031 or you're not gonna like what happens next. 647 00:36:39,115 --> 00:36:42,118 You can put me in jail, but you can't tell me what to do with my own body. 648 00:36:42,201 --> 00:36:44,036 And yet, it's happening. 649 00:36:45,037 --> 00:36:46,914 Go get cleaned up. With soap! 650 00:36:48,332 --> 00:36:49,792 And I'm not messing around. 651 00:36:49,876 --> 00:36:51,043 I'm talking to all of you. 652 00:36:57,299 --> 00:36:59,301 So, I said, 653 00:36:59,385 --> 00:37:01,971 -"Now listen, you limey bitch!" -Ooh! 654 00:37:02,054 --> 00:37:03,680 --"You steal one more recipe from me 655 00:37:03,765 --> 00:37:06,392 and I'm gonna have to put you through the grinder attachment 656 00:37:06,475 --> 00:37:09,020 to your KitchenAid Professional Series Mixer." 657 00:37:09,103 --> 00:37:10,938 Oh, shit! Yo. 658 00:37:11,022 --> 00:37:15,401 Man! Who knew Nigella was so basic? 659 00:37:15,484 --> 00:37:17,569 And, you know, the truth is... 660 00:37:17,653 --> 00:37:19,571 she is awesome. 661 00:37:19,655 --> 00:37:22,199 I mean, we get high together sometimes and make out. 662 00:37:22,825 --> 00:37:24,368 -Oh, and... -Hmm. 663 00:37:24,451 --> 00:37:28,455 ...she has a dessert recipe called "Caribbean Creams." 664 00:37:28,539 --> 00:37:29,874 I named it for her breasts 665 00:37:29,957 --> 00:37:33,169 when she took off her bikini top one time in Turks and Caicos. 666 00:37:33,252 --> 00:37:34,378 --Chi! Chi! Chi! 667 00:37:34,461 --> 00:37:35,922 Chi! Chi! Chi! Chi! Chi! Chi! 668 00:37:36,005 --> 00:37:38,174 Isn't it getting late? 669 00:37:38,883 --> 00:37:42,804 Yeah. She's right. It's almost lights out. 670 00:37:42,887 --> 00:37:47,016 All right, well, peace, J-Kizzle! 671 00:37:50,102 --> 00:37:51,603 Hmm? 672 00:37:51,687 --> 00:37:54,065 Okay, I have no idea what that means. 673 00:37:54,148 --> 00:37:56,901 But it's classy. Later, girlfriend. 674 00:38:00,905 --> 00:38:04,200 Lotta people hanging out here all of a sudden. 675 00:38:04,283 --> 00:38:06,243 Yeah, well, it's nice to have friends. 676 00:38:06,327 --> 00:38:08,329 We are social animals, after all. 677 00:38:08,412 --> 00:38:13,625 It's just, we've got... some nice stuff in here. 678 00:38:13,709 --> 00:38:16,838 Aren't you worrying about... stealing? 679 00:38:16,921 --> 00:38:18,672 What, is that because they're blacks? 680 00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:21,300 Of course not. 681 00:38:21,383 --> 00:38:23,469 It's because they're in prison. 682 00:38:23,552 --> 00:38:26,097 Stealing is what people do here. 683 00:38:26,180 --> 00:38:27,932 And because they're poor. 684 00:38:28,015 --> 00:38:30,642 Now, I think you're getting a bit paranoid, Jonesy. 685 00:38:30,726 --> 00:38:32,769 I'm telling it like it is. 686 00:38:32,854 --> 00:38:35,564 And so what if they do steal? 687 00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:38,985 MCC has given us all this stuff, 688 00:38:39,068 --> 00:38:41,863 it's not as if we deserve it any more than anybody else out there. 689 00:38:41,946 --> 00:38:45,116 Exactly when did you turn into Abbie Hoffman? 690 00:38:45,199 --> 00:38:47,159 --You're as capitalist as they come. 691 00:38:47,243 --> 00:38:50,121 Oh, I'm sorry, but this... 692 00:38:50,204 --> 00:38:52,289 is not capitalism. 693 00:39:03,175 --> 00:39:05,386 Now we're talking. 694 00:39:08,931 --> 00:39:11,517 I blew out all my commissary money. 695 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,395 Figured you could use it when it gets all stank in here. 696 00:39:16,188 --> 00:39:17,273 Thank you. 697 00:39:18,607 --> 00:39:19,775 For real. 698 00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,195 What about you, huh? 699 00:39:23,279 --> 00:39:24,655 You gonna be okay out there? 700 00:39:27,741 --> 00:39:29,201 I have my doubts. 701 00:39:29,869 --> 00:39:32,121 Come on. You're like a cockroach, Diaz. 702 00:39:32,204 --> 00:39:34,748 When we're all dead, you still gonna be crawling around the garbage, 703 00:39:34,831 --> 00:39:36,625 saying mean shit to the other roaches. 704 00:39:43,507 --> 00:39:45,259 I gotta ask you a favor. 705 00:39:47,303 --> 00:39:48,304 Dayanara. 706 00:39:49,013 --> 00:39:50,556 You know I'ma look out for her. 707 00:39:50,639 --> 00:39:52,349 Don't let her get into trouble. 708 00:39:52,433 --> 00:39:54,393 She's a good girl. 709 00:39:54,476 --> 00:39:56,562 All the shit she's been through. 710 00:39:56,645 --> 00:39:58,689 This place could change her, you know? 711 00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:01,192 Turn her cold and mean. 712 00:40:01,275 --> 00:40:03,319 I ain't gonna let that happen. 713 00:40:05,154 --> 00:40:07,239 And even when you feel like giving up. 714 00:40:08,657 --> 00:40:11,160 Don't let her see nothing like that on your face. 715 00:40:12,494 --> 00:40:14,830 You gotta hold her up, you hear me? 716 00:40:18,084 --> 00:40:19,710 She's your daughter now. 717 00:40:20,836 --> 00:40:22,171 Long as you're in here. 718 00:40:25,382 --> 00:40:27,676 Daughters. 719 00:40:33,182 --> 00:40:34,725 They're the fucking worst. 720 00:41:08,925 --> 00:41:10,302 Well, look who it is. 721 00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:14,723 You're trying to get sent back to Max? 722 00:41:14,806 --> 00:41:18,935 Oh, my God. Prison is prison, right? 723 00:41:28,404 --> 00:41:30,239 What happened to you? 724 00:41:32,908 --> 00:41:36,037 You stole from me to buy drugs. 725 00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,623 And we're off. 726 00:41:42,084 --> 00:41:43,210 Yeah, okay. 727 00:41:44,753 --> 00:41:46,255 No, go ahead. 728 00:41:48,590 --> 00:41:51,302 Get all up in my eyeballs with your... 729 00:41:51,385 --> 00:41:53,845 fucking angry Brando impression, okay? 730 00:41:55,306 --> 00:41:58,559 Uh... call me a loser. 731 00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:03,314 Cut me off from the family. 732 00:42:04,065 --> 00:42:05,399 All right. 733 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:07,651 Whatever you wanna do. 734 00:42:13,907 --> 00:42:15,034 I failed you. 735 00:42:15,117 --> 00:42:16,535 Holy shit. 736 00:42:19,371 --> 00:42:21,498 I should have been watching. 737 00:42:21,582 --> 00:42:24,418 I should have known you were in trouble. 738 00:42:24,501 --> 00:42:26,670 And then you got taken away, and now... 739 00:42:26,753 --> 00:42:28,839 Please, just don't cry, Red. 740 00:42:28,922 --> 00:42:30,299 Look at you. 741 00:42:30,382 --> 00:42:33,052 - You look like you're dead already. 742 00:42:36,513 --> 00:42:38,849 It was always hopeless. 743 00:42:42,936 --> 00:42:45,522 I am not your fault. 744 00:42:45,606 --> 00:42:46,898 Well, I played tough with Tricia, 745 00:42:46,982 --> 00:42:50,444 and now she's in the prison cemetery with her name spelled wrong. 746 00:42:53,029 --> 00:42:55,532 Tell me what to do, Nicky. 747 00:42:55,616 --> 00:42:57,201 I don't know what to do! 748 00:43:08,754 --> 00:43:10,339 Hmm, what is that? Oysters? 749 00:43:15,552 --> 00:43:16,845 Want one? 750 00:44:16,197 --> 00:44:18,449 Hey. No touching. 751 00:44:18,532 --> 00:44:20,159 Oh, okay. 752 00:44:20,242 --> 00:44:24,163 But be sure to let Mr. Caputo know that we were touching. 753 00:44:24,246 --> 00:44:25,581 Mmm-hmm. 754 00:44:25,664 --> 00:44:28,834 Eh, so what's gonna happen when your Dukes of Hazzard-lovin' cracker fans 755 00:44:28,917 --> 00:44:30,169 - see that photo? 756 00:44:30,252 --> 00:44:32,754 Ooh, their Frito pie gonna fall right outta they mouths. 757 00:44:32,838 --> 00:44:34,256 I'll say, "Sorry 'bout that." 758 00:44:34,340 --> 00:44:35,966 -And that's it? -Mmm, pretty much. 759 00:44:36,049 --> 00:44:38,009 You know, you can cheat on your wife with hookers 760 00:44:38,093 --> 00:44:40,262 who indulge you in your diaper fetish 761 00:44:40,346 --> 00:44:44,057 and still be the senator from Louisiana, so long as you apologize. 762 00:44:44,140 --> 00:44:46,727 See, that is the great thing about the love of Jesus. 763 00:44:46,810 --> 00:44:51,022 Oh, no, don't you start with me about that holy white evangelical bullshit. 764 00:44:51,106 --> 00:44:52,441 They a buncha hypocrites. 765 00:44:52,524 --> 00:44:56,653 Killing science and education and refusin' to marry the nice gay couples, 766 00:44:56,737 --> 00:45:01,492 but then bein' all "rah-rah the Holy Land" when they really think... 767 00:45:01,575 --> 00:45:04,786 that my people got horns and that we all gonna broil in hell. 768 00:45:06,079 --> 00:45:09,541 Oh. Oh, wait. Hold up. You're Jewish? 769 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:14,255 I cannot believe that those posers just smoked us 770 00:45:14,338 --> 00:45:16,965 on the unspoken, interracial, prison couple power ranking. 771 00:45:17,048 --> 00:45:20,427 Well, we ain't about competition, all right? 772 00:45:20,511 --> 00:45:22,804 We just doin' our thing. Our real thing. 773 00:45:22,888 --> 00:45:24,014 I know. 774 00:45:24,097 --> 00:45:25,891 I'm not trying to sell us short or anything, 775 00:45:25,974 --> 00:45:30,354 but it's like they're Beyoncé and Jay Z and we're just Kim and Kanye. 776 00:45:30,437 --> 00:45:33,106 Yo, that hurts. I ain't gonna lie. 777 00:45:33,189 --> 00:45:35,734 It's like, about this super-nerdy teacher, 778 00:45:35,817 --> 00:45:39,237 and, um, he finds out he has, like, terminal cancer. 779 00:45:39,321 --> 00:45:43,659 And so he starts making meth to make money for his family. 780 00:45:43,742 --> 00:45:44,743 But... 781 00:45:44,826 --> 00:45:47,078 Except, he dyes it blue for some reason. 782 00:45:47,162 --> 00:45:49,290 No, I would never do blue meth. 783 00:45:49,373 --> 00:45:51,667 That color ain't natural. 784 00:45:51,750 --> 00:45:52,918 So what happens? 785 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:55,754 I'm guessing it goes wrong somehow. 786 00:45:56,630 --> 00:46:00,717 Man, we're missing out on all the best TV. 787 00:46:00,801 --> 00:46:02,594 I swear, I mighta cleaned up my act 788 00:46:02,678 --> 00:46:05,096 if I knew I was gonna end up in a place with only network. 789 00:46:05,180 --> 00:46:08,392 Well, we got some basic cable. Like that show with the lawyers on USA. 790 00:46:08,475 --> 00:46:10,644 Are they lawyers or are they FBI guys? 791 00:46:10,727 --> 00:46:12,563 The FBI guys were in Miami-- 792 00:46:12,646 --> 00:46:14,440 Uh, that's not Miami, it's Long Island. 793 00:46:14,523 --> 00:46:18,276 Mmm-mmm. He's a doctor... or maybe CIA. 794 00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:19,361 So nobody's a lawyer? 795 00:46:19,445 --> 00:46:21,863 No, there are lawyers, for sure. 796 00:46:21,947 --> 00:46:24,032 Man, I thought that was just one long show. 797 00:46:26,452 --> 00:46:30,497 Well, look who's not too good to knock trays with us hill trolls. 798 00:46:31,206 --> 00:46:33,041 Got tired of your butchy girlfriend? 799 00:46:34,501 --> 00:46:35,836 She ain't my girlfriend. 800 00:46:36,670 --> 00:46:37,838 Suit yourself. 801 00:46:38,714 --> 00:46:40,591 I heard that there is this show 802 00:46:40,674 --> 00:46:42,926 that was like, just people shooting zombies. 803 00:46:43,009 --> 00:46:44,553 Yo, yo. You gotta check this. 804 00:47:10,912 --> 00:47:13,415 Listen, if your mind is starting to go, just tell me 805 00:47:13,499 --> 00:47:15,876 and I'll mercy break your neck, so you don't end up in Psych. 806 00:47:15,959 --> 00:47:18,003 You told me Crystal's case was stalled 807 00:47:18,086 --> 00:47:20,631 because we couldn't prove that Sophia's in the SHU. 808 00:47:20,714 --> 00:47:22,173 And you think you could prove that? 809 00:47:22,257 --> 00:47:25,010 I know it's all isolation down there. 810 00:47:25,093 --> 00:47:27,888 But there's a shower facility, right? 811 00:47:27,971 --> 00:47:30,223 One that everyone uses at one time or another. 812 00:47:30,306 --> 00:47:33,644 -If I can get word to her-- -I mean, I'm half-Catholic myself, 813 00:47:33,727 --> 00:47:35,771 but what you're talking about is a kinda miracle. 814 00:47:35,854 --> 00:47:39,608 I have a phone. With a camera. 815 00:47:39,691 --> 00:47:41,527 In a very uncomfortable place. 816 00:47:42,694 --> 00:47:45,321 You are one crazy bitch. 817 00:47:46,740 --> 00:47:47,991 Thank you, Mendoza. 818 00:47:49,117 --> 00:47:51,202 I'm pretty scared, to be honest. 819 00:47:51,286 --> 00:47:53,079 The SHU's a scary place. 820 00:47:54,915 --> 00:47:57,709 You wanna get sent down there, you can't be pulling this piddly shit. 821 00:47:57,793 --> 00:47:59,836 -You gotta do something serious. -I know. 822 00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:02,380 It's just that, I don't want to hurt anybody, you know? 823 00:48:02,464 --> 00:48:05,842 I was an activist, but always non-violent. 824 00:48:05,926 --> 00:48:08,094 Sometimes you gotta think about the greater good. 825 00:48:14,518 --> 00:48:16,437 --Oh! Shit! 826 00:48:17,771 --> 00:48:19,397 Good for you. 827 00:48:19,481 --> 00:48:21,900 Ow! Ow! 828 00:48:21,983 --> 00:48:24,027 Tell me I didn't see what I just saw. 829 00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:26,613 No, this monster almost broke my jaw, Officer. 830 00:48:26,697 --> 00:48:29,199 And I'd do it again, Latino! 831 00:48:29,282 --> 00:48:31,577 --Oh! Hell, no! 832 00:48:31,660 --> 00:48:35,664 You need to get her outta here 'cause she is a threat to our safety! 833 00:48:36,582 --> 00:48:38,249 Oh! 834 00:48:38,333 --> 00:48:39,375 Shit! 835 00:48:40,544 --> 00:48:41,795 Let's go, Ingalls. 836 00:48:51,054 --> 00:48:53,181 Here you go. 837 00:48:55,642 --> 00:48:57,519 I am pleasantly surprised. 838 00:48:58,061 --> 00:48:59,062 Yeah, I, uh... 839 00:48:59,145 --> 00:49:01,231 I took the liberty of looking through them for that crazy photo, 840 00:49:01,314 --> 00:49:02,440 but, uh, they're clean. 841 00:49:03,441 --> 00:49:04,901 Well, not clean. 842 00:49:04,985 --> 00:49:08,864 There's some gnarly snaps, but, uh, not the one we're looking for. 843 00:49:10,073 --> 00:49:12,826 So, I guess some things will always be a mystery. 844 00:49:15,161 --> 00:49:18,790 Hey, what's your background, CO Luschek? 845 00:49:19,875 --> 00:49:23,294 Uh... mostly Scottish. 846 00:49:23,378 --> 00:49:26,507 Some French fur traders, way back. 847 00:49:26,590 --> 00:49:29,510 No, I mean, how did you end up here? 848 00:49:29,593 --> 00:49:32,679 Oh, uh, you know, attrition. 849 00:49:32,763 --> 00:49:35,140 It's just... 850 00:49:35,223 --> 00:49:37,934 you should so clearly be working at a GameStop. 851 00:49:48,945 --> 00:49:52,407 Whoa! Are you for real, Flores? The fuck did I tell you? 852 00:49:52,490 --> 00:49:54,743 Oh, man, I don't remember. 853 00:49:59,831 --> 00:50:01,166 Get on it. 854 00:50:01,249 --> 00:50:02,375 What am I, a goat? 855 00:50:02,458 --> 00:50:03,877 I said get up on the table, inmate! 856 00:50:09,507 --> 00:50:10,801 Now, you're gonna stand there 857 00:50:10,884 --> 00:50:13,261 and you're gonna think about all the decisions that you've been making. 858 00:50:13,344 --> 00:50:15,263 Does that mean I don't have to go back to work? 859 00:50:15,346 --> 00:50:17,182 No, you're not going anywhere. 860 00:50:17,265 --> 00:50:18,725 Your job is to stand... 861 00:50:18,809 --> 00:50:20,018 --...on this table, 862 00:50:20,101 --> 00:50:22,563 until you're ready to quit dicking me around! 863 00:50:22,646 --> 00:50:24,815 Well, dude... that could be a while. 864 00:50:24,898 --> 00:50:27,067 Call me all the Spanish names you want, mami. 865 00:50:27,150 --> 00:50:28,985 We'll see how you feel when your knees start to give. 866 00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:49,756 Morning. 867 00:50:51,592 --> 00:50:53,009 Coffee. 868 00:50:54,510 --> 00:50:55,762 Careful, it's hot. 869 00:50:56,512 --> 00:50:57,931 I microwaved it. 870 00:51:08,024 --> 00:51:09,275 Problem? 871 00:51:09,359 --> 00:51:10,694 No, no. 872 00:51:10,777 --> 00:51:13,196 Good. Let's get dressed. 873 00:51:15,531 --> 00:51:17,367 --Hmm, let's see. 874 00:51:19,953 --> 00:51:22,163 Maybe... pink today? 875 00:51:23,081 --> 00:51:24,582 Yes? 876 00:51:25,541 --> 00:51:26,710 Mmm-hmm. 877 00:51:36,678 --> 00:51:37,763 Hey, Ramos. 878 00:51:38,722 --> 00:51:39,931 I have something for you. 879 00:51:40,015 --> 00:51:42,558 No, thanks. I'm cool. 880 00:51:42,643 --> 00:51:43,935 Come in for a minute. 881 00:51:44,019 --> 00:51:45,771 I gotta be back at the warehouse 882 00:51:45,854 --> 00:51:47,689 to get some towels and stuff for down the hill. 883 00:52:21,431 --> 00:52:23,016 It's your game. 884 00:52:23,099 --> 00:52:25,769 The one you were talking about with your friend. 885 00:52:25,852 --> 00:52:27,103 I thought we could play. 886 00:52:28,146 --> 00:52:31,357 -This is disgusting. -You're the one who made it up. 887 00:52:31,441 --> 00:52:33,609 -I thought you'd get a kick out of it-- -Well, I don't. 888 00:52:37,072 --> 00:52:38,489 You gotta pick one. 889 00:52:41,159 --> 00:52:42,452 You can't make me do this. 890 00:52:43,453 --> 00:52:45,288 I think you're forgetting your situation. 891 00:52:45,914 --> 00:52:48,624 My situation is, you don't got nothing on me now. 892 00:52:48,709 --> 00:52:50,501 Look around, you're not gonna find one thing. 893 00:52:58,551 --> 00:53:00,261 - Gun to your head. 894 00:53:15,485 --> 00:53:19,030 It might not be Shake Shack, but it's 100% guilt-free. 895 00:53:20,073 --> 00:53:23,576 Here's to the off-brand Spam sandwich of righteousness. 896 00:53:24,327 --> 00:53:25,871 Cheers. 897 00:53:33,962 --> 00:53:37,257 You know what? Fuck righteousness. 898 00:53:37,340 --> 00:53:39,425 You make a valid point. 899 00:53:41,594 --> 00:53:42,720 Mmm. 900 00:53:50,937 --> 00:53:52,438 Uh, so here's the thing. 901 00:53:53,523 --> 00:53:55,233 I'm gonna get clean. 902 00:54:02,991 --> 00:54:04,200 Okay. 903 00:54:43,156 --> 00:54:47,285 I mean, sure. It's a little Abu Ghraib-y... 904 00:54:48,369 --> 00:54:50,080 but... sure. 905 00:54:51,164 --> 00:54:53,624 Just came to me. Spur of the moment-like. 906 00:54:55,001 --> 00:54:56,461 We're gonna have to ride this out now. 907 00:54:56,544 --> 00:54:57,587 For how long? 908 00:54:57,670 --> 00:54:59,172 Until she promises to behave. 909 00:54:59,255 --> 00:55:01,716 Look, I give it till dinner time, tops. 910 00:55:05,345 --> 00:55:06,679 I don't know, dude. 911 00:55:08,306 --> 00:55:10,433 I feel like you mighta made a mistake.