1
00:00:53,599 --> 00:00:55,048
Synced and corrected by Caio

2
00:00:55,073 --> 00:00:55,205
<font color="#ff8000">:</font>::::[GWC]:::::

3
00:00:55,206 --> 00:00:55,339
<font color="#ff8000">::</font>:::[GWC]:::::

4
00:00:55,340 --> 00:00:55,472
<font color="#ff8000">:::</font>::[GWC]:::::

5
00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:55,605
<font color="#ff8000">::::</font>:[GWC]:::::

6
00:00:55,606 --> 00:00:55,739
<font color="#ff8000">:::::</font>[GWC]:::::

7
00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:55,872
<font color="#ff8000">:::::[</font>GWC]:::::

8
00:00:55,873 --> 00:00:56,005
<font color="#ff8000">:::::[G</font>WC]:::::

9
00:00:56,006 --> 00:00:56,139
<font color="#ff8000">:::::[GW</font>C]:::::

10
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:56,272
<font color="#ff8000">:::::[GWC</font>]:::::

11
00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:56,405
<font color="#ff8000">:::::[GWC]</font>:::::

12
00:00:56,406 --> 00:00:56,539
<font color="#ff8000">:::::[GWC]:</font>::::

13
00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:56,672
<font color="#ff8000">:::::[GWC]::</font>:::

14
00:00:56,673 --> 00:00:56,805
<font color="#ff8000">:::::[GWC]:::</font>::

15
00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:56,939
<font color="#ff8000">:::::[GWC]::::</font>:

16
00:00:56,940 --> 00:01:08,773
<font color="#ff8000">:::::[GWC]:::::</font>

17
00:01:29,911 --> 00:01:31,037
Sit, sit, sit.

18
00:01:31,121 --> 00:01:32,623
We don't give a shit about the movie.

19
00:01:32,706 --> 00:01:34,791
My heart is beating so fast right now.

20
00:01:34,875 --> 00:01:37,794
Bony, rat-faced son of a bitch
deserved to grow an ass tulip.

21
00:01:37,878 --> 00:01:39,129
What in the fuck is wrong with us?

22
00:01:39,212 --> 00:01:40,964
We ain't rapey enough.

23
00:01:41,047 --> 00:01:43,133
I mean, I sure as hell
don't wanna keep staring down that

24
00:01:43,216 --> 00:01:46,845
naked, hairy butthole and
trying to pull apart them sticky cheeks.

25
00:01:46,928 --> 00:01:51,141
Do you think that he agonized
over this like some little bitch?

26
00:01:52,017 --> 00:01:55,020
No. He planned his rape,
and he raped his plan.

27
00:01:55,103 --> 00:01:56,563
He didn't plan it.

28
00:01:56,647 --> 00:02:00,651
At least not the first time.
How do I know that he didn't feel bad?

29
00:02:00,734 --> 00:02:03,945
I mean, after he came?
He could actually hate himself.

30
00:02:04,029 --> 00:02:05,989
Well, he fucking should.
He's a rapist.

31
00:02:06,072 --> 00:02:07,198
Well, then maybe it's good

32
00:02:07,282 --> 00:02:10,702
that we didn't shove a carrot
down his rabbit hole,

33
00:02:10,786 --> 00:02:13,789
'cause we could be sitting here,
hating on ourselves too, Boo.

34
00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:15,582
Face it...

35
00:02:15,666 --> 00:02:19,002
we ain't Swedish enough
to be splitting his starfish.

36
00:02:20,086 --> 00:02:22,673
And I ain't a rapist.
I ain't, and I feel good about it.

37
00:02:22,756 --> 00:02:26,885
Well, I hope that is a consolation
tomorrow when you have van duty.

38
00:02:27,844 --> 00:02:28,845
Shit.

39
00:02:28,929 --> 00:02:30,388
Oh.

40
00:02:30,471 --> 00:02:34,768
Maybe I'll drink that Mexican diarrhea tea
that the fat chicolos make,

41
00:02:34,851 --> 00:02:36,102
and I'll be too sick to work.

42
00:02:36,186 --> 00:02:38,647
Yeah, that's great,
but what about the next day,

43
00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:40,649
and the day after that and the next?

44
00:02:41,357 --> 00:02:44,402
He's got you.
God, there's no fucking justice!

45
00:02:44,485 --> 00:02:46,822
Yeah, and I really don't like tea.

46
00:02:56,247 --> 00:02:57,290
Hmm?

47
00:02:57,373 --> 00:03:00,001
-I'm freaking the fuck out.
-Relax, I'll catch you up.

48
00:03:00,085 --> 00:03:02,629
See, she's uptight, right,
and he's this unpredictable sous chef--

49
00:03:02,713 --> 00:03:05,465
No, Soso is dead in the library.

50
00:03:06,633 --> 00:03:10,053
For real, I think.
Look, I walked in...

51
00:03:10,136 --> 00:03:11,554
Go find a CO.

52
00:03:11,638 --> 00:03:12,764
No, I wanna see.
Where is she?

53
00:03:12,848 --> 00:03:14,224
Will you please just come?

54
00:03:14,307 --> 00:03:15,684
Can we see?

55
00:03:15,767 --> 00:03:18,394
Oh, please, please, please, please,
with extra sugar on top.

56
00:03:18,478 --> 00:03:19,688
-Please, please...
-Okay.

57
00:03:19,771 --> 00:03:22,440
You save our seats,
and tell me everything I miss.

58
00:03:22,523 --> 00:03:23,650
Fine.

59
00:03:25,318 --> 00:03:29,030
Dead bodies. Dead bodies,
dead bodies, dead bodies, dead bodies.

60
00:03:29,114 --> 00:03:30,365
Come on.

61
00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:48,800
-She ain't dead.
-She ain't?

62
00:03:48,884 --> 00:03:50,844
I done seen enough dead to know alive.

63
00:03:58,685 --> 00:03:59,811
Here.

64
00:04:02,313 --> 00:04:04,274
What we gonna do with her?

65
00:04:04,357 --> 00:04:07,068
If only we had an invisibility cloak.

66
00:04:07,152 --> 00:04:10,446
Or an extremely deep
and wide belly button.

67
00:04:10,530 --> 00:04:11,615
Stop it.

68
00:04:11,698 --> 00:04:13,700
Man, we need to make sure
the girl don't go to Psych.

69
00:04:13,784 --> 00:04:18,121
No. Like, N-O, no.
Psych's so bad.

70
00:04:18,204 --> 00:04:20,040
I wouldn't even wish it
on the people running it.

71
00:04:20,123 --> 00:04:22,417
Although that would be
poetic in its own way.

72
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:23,501
On my count, all right?

73
00:04:23,584 --> 00:04:26,337
One, two...

74
00:04:26,421 --> 00:04:27,798
Watch her head, watch her head.

75
00:04:27,881 --> 00:04:28,965
Got it. Got it. I got it.

76
00:04:29,049 --> 00:04:31,301
All right, you get the front.
I got the back.

77
00:04:42,603 --> 00:04:44,773
Three, four, and wrong!

78
00:04:50,070 --> 00:04:51,071
Well?

79
00:04:51,154 --> 00:04:56,492
I skipped the final repetition
and played directly into the coda.

80
00:04:56,576 --> 00:04:57,994
You thought I wouldn't notice?

81
00:04:58,912 --> 00:05:00,580
Do you know what happens to cheaters?

82
00:05:01,372 --> 00:05:02,415
They go to hell.

83
00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:04,584
Who told you that?

84
00:05:06,252 --> 00:05:07,295
Brook!

85
00:05:08,714 --> 00:05:10,131
Reverend Pat Roberts.

86
00:05:11,257 --> 00:05:13,677
I didn't watch TV on purpose.

87
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,763
Jessica's parents always have
The 700 Club on.

88
00:05:16,847 --> 00:05:20,225
And that's why Jessica
never places at the science fair.

89
00:05:21,601 --> 00:05:24,104
There is no hell.
There is no heaven.

90
00:05:24,187 --> 00:05:28,566
When we die, all that remains are
the memories of our achievements.

91
00:05:28,649 --> 00:05:33,029
And cheaters are very quickly forgotten.

92
00:05:33,113 --> 00:05:34,865
Again.

93
00:05:36,699 --> 00:05:38,869
Play. And sit up straight!

94
00:05:41,329 --> 00:05:43,664
Hey. You have a nice day?

95
00:05:44,707 --> 00:05:46,001
We went to Olive Garden.

96
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:48,586
Well, I had a good day, too.
Helped some inmates.

97
00:05:48,669 --> 00:05:51,006
Your Russian friend?

98
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,799
Yeah, and an Asian girl.

99
00:05:53,716 --> 00:05:56,928
Had a case of jailbird blues.
Hey...

100
00:05:58,638 --> 00:06:01,808
did you ever consider
that you're technically Asian?

101
00:06:01,892 --> 00:06:04,685
Round-eyed Asian with blond hair?

102
00:06:04,770 --> 00:06:06,021
I'm Ukrainian.

103
00:06:07,814 --> 00:06:09,858
I'm making a joke.

104
00:06:16,656 --> 00:06:20,035
You know, it wouldn't kill you
to smile once in a while.

105
00:06:21,702 --> 00:06:24,330
It's not like I'm asking you
to sleep in my bed...

106
00:06:25,456 --> 00:06:28,584
or bring me back leftovers
of Lasagna Classico...

107
00:06:30,211 --> 00:06:32,255
which you pay for with my money,

108
00:06:32,338 --> 00:06:36,176
which you know I enjoy,
which you never finish!

109
00:06:37,928 --> 00:06:40,806
"I don't want to be a fat person."

110
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:46,394
You know what?
I had a really good day today.

111
00:06:46,477 --> 00:06:48,729
I had a really good day today.

112
00:06:49,981 --> 00:06:53,318
And I just wanted to come home
and share it with you...

113
00:06:53,401 --> 00:06:54,820
and you don't care.

114
00:06:54,903 --> 00:06:56,154
At all!

115
00:06:58,448 --> 00:07:01,742
What do you really want from me?

116
00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:04,079
My freedom.

117
00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:16,591
I think you and
your mother ought to go get an apartment.

118
00:07:16,674 --> 00:07:19,510
-I'll help you pay for it.
-You would do that?

119
00:07:22,347 --> 00:07:25,558
I'm surrounded by women
in captivity all day long.

120
00:07:26,810 --> 00:07:30,688
I don't need to come home to another one
who feels like she's trapped in a cage.

121
00:07:41,449 --> 00:07:43,784
Well, what you waiting for?

122
00:07:43,869 --> 00:07:45,996
Why don't you...
put your fingers down her throat?

123
00:07:46,079 --> 00:07:49,499
Knowing what to do does not make me
bottom bitch of the vomitorium.

124
00:07:49,582 --> 00:07:51,835
Maybe stick your fingers
down your own throat.

125
00:07:51,918 --> 00:07:55,588
People see or hear other people puke,
makes them wanna do it.

126
00:07:55,671 --> 00:07:57,215
- Sympathetic vomiting.

127
00:07:57,298 --> 00:07:59,259
Just... Fine, we wasting time.

128
00:07:59,342 --> 00:08:01,677
-Just fuck it.
-No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

129
00:08:04,472 --> 00:08:05,515
Ew.

130
00:08:05,598 --> 00:08:06,850
-Easier cleanup.
-Yeah.

131
00:08:06,933 --> 00:08:08,434
Okay. Good. Go.

132
00:08:11,646 --> 00:08:13,064
Okay.

133
00:08:16,776 --> 00:08:17,818
Yes.

134
00:08:19,445 --> 00:08:21,781
- Oh, Jesus!

135
00:08:21,865 --> 00:08:23,199
Ew!

136
00:08:24,117 --> 00:08:25,826
Chunks! That's nasty!

137
00:08:25,911 --> 00:08:29,039
Hmm, but look at all them pills.

138
00:08:29,122 --> 00:08:30,456
Sympathetic vomiting.

139
00:08:31,707 --> 00:08:33,084
Pull the drain.

140
00:08:35,670 --> 00:08:38,965
Now, should we stick a needle
in her heart or something?

141
00:08:39,049 --> 00:08:42,802
This ain't Pulp Fiction,
and that ain't heroin.

142
00:08:42,886 --> 00:08:44,012
Well, why ain't she awake?

143
00:08:44,095 --> 00:08:46,597
'Cause she ate fistfuls of pills
like they was Tic Tacs

144
00:08:46,681 --> 00:08:49,225
-and she weighs three pounds.
-Good point.

145
00:08:49,309 --> 00:08:51,602
We gotta watch her and make
sure she doesn't stop breathing,

146
00:08:51,686 --> 00:08:53,771
and if she does, we give her CPR.

147
00:08:53,854 --> 00:08:54,940
Shit.

148
00:08:55,023 --> 00:08:58,859
Look, if that happens, man, you giving her
the mouth-to-throw-up-mouth, all right?

149
00:08:59,819 --> 00:09:00,861
She okay?

150
00:09:01,654 --> 00:09:04,324
There's no blood in it, so that's good.

151
00:09:04,950 --> 00:09:06,326
- Huh.

152
00:09:06,409 --> 00:09:08,494
She'll be fine.

153
00:09:08,578 --> 00:09:10,871
Man, why this shit
gotta happen on movie night?

154
00:09:10,956 --> 00:09:12,457
Anybody want some cigarettes?

155
00:09:14,042 --> 00:09:16,586
I found these hanging from the drain.

156
00:09:18,504 --> 00:09:20,924
Relax. We go in,
we make our case.

157
00:09:21,007 --> 00:09:24,302
Uh-uh. With Dad, we go in with one agenda,

158
00:09:24,385 --> 00:09:26,721
we come out excited
to do the exact opposite.

159
00:09:26,804 --> 00:09:29,890
He's like a magical, manipulative wizard.

160
00:09:29,975 --> 00:09:32,643
There is no way either of us
are gonna walk out of there

161
00:09:32,727 --> 00:09:37,107
thinking it's okay
to punish the victim of a hate crime.

162
00:09:37,190 --> 00:09:40,026
"Burset comes out of the SHU."
That's our mantra.

163
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:41,652
-"Burset comes out of the SHU."
-There you go.

164
00:09:41,736 --> 00:09:44,030
-Yeah. "Burset comes out of the SHU."
-"Burset comes out of the SHU."

165
00:09:44,114 --> 00:09:46,782
Well, why don't we just drive back there
and let her out ourselves?

166
00:09:46,866 --> 00:09:50,120
Okay, suppose we do that.
Then what happens?

167
00:09:50,203 --> 00:09:51,579
We probably get fired.

168
00:09:51,662 --> 00:09:53,873
That's right. And then what?

169
00:09:53,957 --> 00:09:55,541
She gets thrown back in.

170
00:09:55,625 --> 00:09:58,128
But this time,
there's no one around to help her.

171
00:09:58,211 --> 00:10:00,421
They'll bury her in there.
You know that.

172
00:10:00,505 --> 00:10:03,633
-Let's do this right.
-You're walking into the lion's den.

173
00:10:03,716 --> 00:10:05,426
I'm with a guy named Daniel.

174
00:10:05,510 --> 00:10:07,762
No one calls me that.

175
00:10:07,845 --> 00:10:10,974
And "Danny in the Lion's Den"
sounds like the name of a picture book

176
00:10:11,057 --> 00:10:12,976
for slow, homeschooled kids.

177
00:10:14,269 --> 00:10:17,063
-Joe, he's my dad.
-And he's wrong.

178
00:10:17,147 --> 00:10:19,232
You need to stand up to him,
tell him that.

179
00:10:19,315 --> 00:10:21,359
- He's gonna respect you for it.

180
00:10:21,442 --> 00:10:23,486
And if he doesn't, he's your dad,
he's still gonna love you.

181
00:10:23,569 --> 00:10:27,407
Man, you know nothing about WASPs.

182
00:10:31,577 --> 00:10:34,580
Maybe you need to bust out
the eggs again, like in the old days.

183
00:10:34,664 --> 00:10:35,915
Norma doesn't need that voodoo shit.

184
00:10:35,999 --> 00:10:38,168
Well, maybe she does.
I mean, no offense, Norma,

185
00:10:38,251 --> 00:10:41,379
but your latest gift seems to be
making your flock disappear.

186
00:10:41,462 --> 00:10:44,465
Those quitters aren't Norma's sheep.
They're rats.

187
00:10:44,549 --> 00:10:46,759
Don't rats leave the sinking ship first?

188
00:10:46,842 --> 00:10:49,345
Shut up, Angie.
It's your fault everybody bailed.

189
00:10:49,429 --> 00:10:50,596
What did Angie do?

190
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:54,184
I ruined my miracle by
getting thrown in the SHU.

191
00:10:54,975 --> 00:10:57,562
Which was seriously the worst thing
that's ever happened to me.

192
00:10:57,645 --> 00:11:01,441
Even counting that time I smoked crack
thinking it was meth

193
00:11:01,524 --> 00:11:04,444
and then took four shots of Everclear
and ate cat poop.

194
00:11:05,486 --> 00:11:09,199
Maybe those quitter,
rat-sheep girls are a little right.

195
00:11:09,282 --> 00:11:12,285
Like, if it was a miracle,
shouldn't she be in France

196
00:11:12,368 --> 00:11:15,913
- or Albuquerque or something?

197
00:11:15,996 --> 00:11:19,667
I'm sorry, Holy Norma.
I didn't mean to mess it up.

198
00:11:21,001 --> 00:11:24,004
You'll go back to making people cry,
but in a good way, really soon.

199
00:11:26,299 --> 00:11:27,300
Get out.

200
00:11:38,018 --> 00:11:39,729
I heard a rumor we're getting new beds.

201
00:11:40,980 --> 00:11:43,316
Did your spirit friends
have anything to do with that?

202
00:11:45,401 --> 00:11:49,489
Look,
people love a sign, you know?

203
00:11:50,573 --> 00:11:53,118
We're all looking for a clue
that there's a reason for things,

204
00:11:53,201 --> 00:11:57,330
that everything's not all
random and lonely, you know?

205
00:11:57,413 --> 00:12:01,917
Maybe focus on another miracle...
one some dummy can't fuck up.

206
00:12:09,217 --> 00:12:10,885
What do you want, Gonzales?

207
00:12:12,094 --> 00:12:14,639
Straight-up gangsta, Chapman.
Respect.

208
00:12:14,722 --> 00:12:18,476
-I'm not the Godfather.
-No. You're taller and tighter.

209
00:12:19,602 --> 00:12:20,811
It was business.

210
00:12:20,895 --> 00:12:22,730
So what's it gonna take
for me to get back in?

211
00:12:22,813 --> 00:12:24,274
Have you actually seen The Godfather?

212
00:12:24,357 --> 00:12:27,693
You're the sour-pantied Luca Brasi.

213
00:12:27,777 --> 00:12:29,237
You sleep with the fishes.

214
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,947
-I can help.
-You're dead to me.

215
00:12:32,031 --> 00:12:33,073
Basta.

216
00:12:33,158 --> 00:12:34,992
Oh, come on, my mom is sick.

217
00:12:35,075 --> 00:12:36,661
Really? Is that the best
that you can come up with?

218
00:12:36,744 --> 00:12:39,289
No! For real.

219
00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:41,791
She's got lymphoma,

220
00:12:41,874 --> 00:12:45,253
and the co-pays and shit
are killing her faster than the cancer.

221
00:12:46,962 --> 00:12:48,756
I gotta be able to help her.

222
00:12:48,839 --> 00:12:53,303
But instead, I'm stuck in this shithole,
barely making enough to pay for Pantene.

223
00:12:54,804 --> 00:12:55,805
I'm sorry.

224
00:12:55,888 --> 00:13:00,059
Come on, Chapman, please.
I know you're a good person.

225
00:13:00,142 --> 00:13:02,770
And think of all that
sweet potorro tang I'm wasting.

226
00:13:02,853 --> 00:13:07,107
I'm begging and I don't do that
'cause I got Latin pride and shit.

227
00:13:07,192 --> 00:13:11,654
But I'm begging you for this,
'cause it's real stuff going on.

228
00:13:14,199 --> 00:13:16,659
You start off at a lower rate
than everybody else.

229
00:13:16,742 --> 00:13:17,743
Thank you.

230
00:13:17,827 --> 00:13:20,079
-Thank you...
-No hugging. Mmm-mmm.

231
00:13:27,462 --> 00:13:28,504
It's none of my business,

232
00:13:28,588 --> 00:13:32,132
but you know that teardrop
under her eye isn't real, right?

233
00:13:32,217 --> 00:13:35,428
You're right.
It's literally none of your business.

234
00:13:35,511 --> 00:13:38,223
It's my business, and it's flourishing.

235
00:13:38,306 --> 00:13:41,767
How do you think that's gonna look?
Bringing back the agitator-in-chief?

236
00:13:41,851 --> 00:13:45,145
Like I am a good and benevolent dictator.

237
00:13:45,230 --> 00:13:47,648
--Like King Wangchuck of Bhutan.

238
00:13:47,732 --> 00:13:50,025
He created
the Gross National Happiness scale

239
00:13:50,109 --> 00:13:54,196
so his people would be content
and remain loyal.

240
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,948
And how did that work out for him?

241
00:13:56,991 --> 00:13:58,493
Yeah.

242
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:01,246
There's no such thing
as a benevolent dictator,

243
00:14:01,329 --> 00:14:03,038
only a weak one, or a dead one.

244
00:14:03,122 --> 00:14:07,167
He did not die.
He abdicated voluntarily.

245
00:14:07,252 --> 00:14:08,336
You know what I mean.

246
00:14:08,419 --> 00:14:10,212
You're letting the fox
back into the hen house.

247
00:14:10,296 --> 00:14:14,049
You dumped me because I fired Flaca,

248
00:14:14,133 --> 00:14:16,719
and now you're criticizing me
for bringing her back.

249
00:14:16,802 --> 00:14:19,764
I broke up with you because
you were being gross,

250
00:14:19,847 --> 00:14:21,266
and now you're being stupid.

251
00:14:21,349 --> 00:14:25,353
That girl wants to fuck you over
and get her prison cred back.

252
00:14:25,436 --> 00:14:26,437
But you're right.

253
00:14:26,521 --> 00:14:29,315
It's none of my business.

254
00:14:29,399 --> 00:14:31,234
Godfather knows best.

255
00:14:37,865 --> 00:14:39,617
Oh, shit!

256
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:41,536
--What the fuck?

257
00:14:45,331 --> 00:14:47,500
Well, can't make it worse.

258
00:14:47,583 --> 00:14:48,959
Seriously?

259
00:14:49,043 --> 00:14:51,837
You feed people food from
the fucking floor, like we're animals?

260
00:14:51,921 --> 00:14:54,882
Maybe we should all get down
on our knees and lick it up!

261
00:14:54,965 --> 00:14:56,342
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

262
00:14:56,426 --> 00:14:57,593
I'm kidding.

263
00:14:57,677 --> 00:15:01,096
They doubled our order of slop this month,
we can cover it.

264
00:15:02,265 --> 00:15:03,433
What's gotten into you?

265
00:15:03,516 --> 00:15:05,184
It's not your problem.

266
00:15:06,352 --> 00:15:08,228
She got man troubles.

267
00:15:08,313 --> 00:15:10,440
Well, why didn't you say so?

268
00:15:12,275 --> 00:15:13,859
Don't give it back when you're done.

269
00:15:13,943 --> 00:15:15,945
Not that kind of man.

270
00:15:16,028 --> 00:15:17,488
What other kind is there?

271
00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:23,286
The kind with tits.

272
00:15:23,369 --> 00:15:26,289
Burset? They took her to Seg.

273
00:15:26,372 --> 00:15:28,499
I've had enough.
What's done is done.

274
00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:29,792
Let's not beat a dead horse.

275
00:15:29,875 --> 00:15:31,961
Black Beauty was the one beat you.

276
00:15:32,044 --> 00:15:34,630
-You ask me, it got what was coming.
-Uh-uh.

277
00:15:34,714 --> 00:15:37,049
-Don't blame me for what happened.
-I'm giving you credit.

278
00:15:37,132 --> 00:15:39,635
You were the one that started spreading
all those rumors about her.

279
00:15:39,719 --> 00:15:42,305
So I'll take credit, too.
Mission accomplished.

280
00:15:42,388 --> 00:15:44,515
You two need to clean this up.

281
00:15:44,599 --> 00:15:46,392
I'll get the mop.

282
00:15:46,476 --> 00:15:51,897
Gloria, sometimes there's a mess.
It happens.

283
00:15:55,234 --> 00:15:56,652
Yeah.

284
00:16:01,907 --> 00:16:04,952
Something's the matter.
I can tell.

285
00:16:05,035 --> 00:16:08,331
I got this talent for knowing
when things are bothering people.

286
00:16:08,414 --> 00:16:09,457
Nothing's bothering me.

287
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:13,628
Yeah, something is.
I can feel it in my elbow.

288
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,921
All the women in my family
got the knowing elbow.

289
00:16:17,632 --> 00:16:19,509
Yeah, well,
something's bothering you, too.

290
00:16:19,592 --> 00:16:20,801
I can feel it in my toe.

291
00:16:20,885 --> 00:16:22,052
Which toe?

292
00:16:23,554 --> 00:16:25,765
Oh, you're bluffing.

293
00:16:27,016 --> 00:16:29,143
All right, fine.

294
00:16:29,226 --> 00:16:31,103
-You want me to say this?
-Yeah.

295
00:16:31,186 --> 00:16:32,855
I think we should end this.

296
00:16:35,315 --> 00:16:36,776
Oh, no.

297
00:16:36,859 --> 00:16:42,031
No, that is not
what I was thinking at all.

298
00:16:43,616 --> 00:16:44,659
It wasn't?

299
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,702
No, I...

300
00:16:46,786 --> 00:16:49,955
I was thinking how hard
gravity had been on me

301
00:16:50,039 --> 00:16:53,208
'cause I fell so far
so fast for you.

302
00:16:53,292 --> 00:16:56,170
I was gonna tell you I love you,

303
00:16:56,253 --> 00:16:59,840
and I ain't never said that to nobody,
except this one guy before.

304
00:17:00,550 --> 00:17:02,677
You telling me you don't love me?

305
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,513
It ain't got nothing
to do with feelings, okay?

306
00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:07,347
--I got crazy feelings for you.

307
00:17:07,432 --> 00:17:10,350
Pauly D, JWoww 2010 kind of feelings.

308
00:17:10,435 --> 00:17:13,813
-But that's the problem, you know?
-I don't get that!

309
00:17:13,896 --> 00:17:15,815
They couldn't act on them.

310
00:17:16,857 --> 00:17:18,358
JWoww had a boyfriend.

311
00:17:18,443 --> 00:17:19,902
You got prison.

312
00:17:19,985 --> 00:17:22,112
Well, there's nowhere to go.

313
00:17:22,196 --> 00:17:24,615
It's like it's blue balls,
but for my heart, Lorna.

314
00:17:24,699 --> 00:17:27,535
No, this is not happening. I...

315
00:17:28,953 --> 00:17:31,914
I was saving this for my vision board.

316
00:17:31,997 --> 00:17:34,834
But all vision, no action
kills Hamlet, right?

317
00:17:34,917 --> 00:17:37,044
I guess.
I don't really know.

318
00:17:37,127 --> 00:17:38,963
It did. I saw the movie.

319
00:17:41,674 --> 00:17:42,717
Whoa, whoa.

320
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,552
Come on, baby.
What are you doing?

321
00:17:46,471 --> 00:17:49,932
I love you, Vince Muccio.

322
00:17:50,015 --> 00:17:53,060
And I love everything
that you've done for me,

323
00:17:53,143 --> 00:17:57,106
especially beating up that
good-for-nothing Christopher,

324
00:17:57,189 --> 00:18:00,067
showing me what a real man looks like.

325
00:18:01,235 --> 00:18:03,278
I wanna spend my life with you...

326
00:18:04,572 --> 00:18:06,824
and I don't wanna wait.

327
00:18:06,907 --> 00:18:08,951
Inmate, back in your seat!

328
00:18:10,035 --> 00:18:11,328
I want you to marry me.

329
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:16,250
Morello, no touching!
Back in your seat, now!

330
00:18:21,922 --> 00:18:23,799
Well, don't leave a girl hanging.

331
00:18:25,175 --> 00:18:26,426
What do you say?

332
00:18:29,429 --> 00:18:34,769
You are the most amazing girl
I have ever met, Lorna Morello.

333
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:37,855
I mean, it should be
the guy doing the asking,

334
00:18:37,938 --> 00:18:39,982
but I gotta say there's something
kind of hot about you

335
00:18:40,065 --> 00:18:41,150
down on your knees like that.

336
00:18:48,073 --> 00:18:49,116
Yes.

337
00:18:50,284 --> 00:18:52,787
-Yes. Yes, I will.
-Oh!

338
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,705
I will marry you.
I will marry you.

339
00:18:56,499 --> 00:18:59,835
I swear, I'm gonna be...

340
00:18:59,919 --> 00:19:02,337
such a good wife.

341
00:19:02,421 --> 00:19:04,423
-The best.
-The best.

342
00:19:04,507 --> 00:19:05,633
I don't want you to go,

343
00:19:05,716 --> 00:19:08,302
but I think we should say goodbye
so we can kiss. Yeah?

344
00:19:08,385 --> 00:19:09,386
Okay.

345
00:19:09,469 --> 00:19:11,597
CO Ford, uh, we are done here.

346
00:19:11,681 --> 00:19:14,934
Can we say goodbye
and maybe kiss a little, please?

347
00:19:35,329 --> 00:19:36,496
All right, wrap it up.

348
00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:41,919
Morello, wrap it up!

349
00:19:47,717 --> 00:19:49,134
The body of Christ.

350
00:19:50,177 --> 00:19:51,470
Amen.

351
00:19:51,554 --> 00:19:53,180
The body of Christ.

352
00:19:55,558 --> 00:19:57,517
- The body of Christ.
- Amen.

353
00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:03,691
- The body of Christ.
- Amen.

354
00:20:03,774 --> 00:20:04,859
The body of Christ.

355
00:20:06,318 --> 00:20:08,613
- Amen.
- The body of Christ.

356
00:20:11,657 --> 00:20:13,993
Ah, look at my little princess.

357
00:20:14,076 --> 00:20:17,329
You got Christ in your body now, dolly.
That means you got responsibilities.

358
00:20:17,412 --> 00:20:19,790
-I love this dress!
-What's in your hand?

359
00:20:19,874 --> 00:20:23,002
I read in a magazine
that white food makes you fat.

360
00:20:23,085 --> 00:20:25,838
You didn't eat your Eucharist?
She didn't eat her Eucharist.

361
00:20:25,921 --> 00:20:28,340
You gotta eat the cracker, Lorna.
The cracker's the whole point.

362
00:20:28,423 --> 00:20:30,801
No, Mommy,
the dress is the whole point!

363
00:20:30,885 --> 00:20:34,138
Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Jesus!
Thank you, Jesus!

364
00:20:53,198 --> 00:20:55,868
-Should I remain silent?
-Actually, I...

365
00:20:55,951 --> 00:20:57,662
I could use a nice chat.

366
00:21:00,039 --> 00:21:01,832
You ever believe in anything, Red?

367
00:21:01,916 --> 00:21:06,378
Valentina Vladimirovna Tereshkova.

368
00:21:06,461 --> 00:21:10,841
Her father drove a tractor
and her mother worked in a textile plant,

369
00:21:10,925 --> 00:21:14,094
and she went to outer space
in a rocket ship.

370
00:21:14,178 --> 00:21:17,723
First woman to do that.
I worshipped her.

371
00:21:17,807 --> 00:21:18,849
What happened?

372
00:21:18,933 --> 00:21:21,601
Nothing, I still think she's terrific.

373
00:21:21,686 --> 00:21:24,980
She's in her 70s now
and she wants to go to Mars.

374
00:21:25,064 --> 00:21:26,732
Put in a request with Putin.

375
00:21:27,650 --> 00:21:29,694
Russians stay focused.

376
00:21:35,449 --> 00:21:38,953
This doesn't feel like
the good kind of silence.

377
00:21:39,036 --> 00:21:40,037
It's not.

378
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,331
At least it's bread day.

379
00:21:42,414 --> 00:21:45,710
And it's so over-toasted,
you could pretend it was a cracker.

380
00:21:45,793 --> 00:21:47,294
Wait.

381
00:21:53,718 --> 00:21:57,137
I never doubted you, not for a second!

382
00:21:57,221 --> 00:21:59,306
Gently, gently. Hold it up.

383
00:22:03,185 --> 00:22:06,438
It's her! It's exactly her!

384
00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:09,984
-Oh, my Norma!
-Careful.

385
00:22:13,237 --> 00:22:14,864
It's Toast Norma.

386
00:22:15,906 --> 00:22:18,909
It's a miracle. Toast Norma!

387
00:22:18,993 --> 00:22:20,327
Toast Norma!

388
00:22:23,163 --> 00:22:27,167
It's like one of those 3D poster thingies
from when we were kids.

389
00:22:27,251 --> 00:22:29,378
You gotta wait a second to see it.

390
00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:36,969
Praise be to Norma.

391
00:22:37,052 --> 00:22:42,224
Her image has been emblazoned
by the universe unto toast

392
00:22:42,307 --> 00:22:46,145
as a reminder of her power
and goodliness here on this earth.

393
00:22:47,938 --> 00:22:49,982
There's never any dignity at the end.

394
00:22:50,065 --> 00:22:52,734
Yeah, I'm gonna check it out.

395
00:22:52,818 --> 00:22:56,280
Gina. Gina... don't be a fool.

396
00:22:56,363 --> 00:22:59,950
I have a birthmark on my left butt cheek
that's shaped like a scarab.

397
00:23:00,034 --> 00:23:01,701
Doesn't make me Cleopatra.

398
00:23:01,786 --> 00:23:03,829
Yo, Norma, you in their toast!

399
00:23:03,913 --> 00:23:05,873
--You in the toast!

400
00:23:05,956 --> 00:23:07,958
What's going on?

401
00:23:08,042 --> 00:23:11,586
- Gaze upon the glory of the toast.
- You in the toast.

402
00:23:11,670 --> 00:23:13,672
-Look at that!
-Yeah, I don't see it. It...

403
00:23:13,755 --> 00:23:15,674
Oh, holy mother, there it is in,
in the burn marks.

404
00:23:15,757 --> 00:23:17,342
-Yeah!
-Oh, it's beautiful!

405
00:23:17,426 --> 00:23:20,304
It's a gift. It's a gift.

406
00:23:20,387 --> 00:23:24,809
It's a gift! Thank you.
Thank you, Norma.

407
00:23:24,892 --> 00:23:26,018
- It's so crazy.
- Toast Norma.

408
00:23:26,101 --> 00:23:27,519
It's a miracle.

409
00:23:27,602 --> 00:23:30,189
- Norma, it looks just like you.
- It's a real miracle.

410
00:23:31,148 --> 00:23:33,733
- She's sleeping again.
- What?

411
00:23:33,818 --> 00:23:34,860
Yo, Bennie.

412
00:23:34,944 --> 00:23:36,778
- Wake up.

413
00:23:36,862 --> 00:23:38,155
"Bennie"?

414
00:23:38,238 --> 00:23:40,032
Yeah, we checked out them foils, man.

415
00:23:40,115 --> 00:23:41,909
You took, like, 100 Benadryls.

416
00:23:41,992 --> 00:23:45,913
But the good news is your allergies are
squared away for, like, a decade.

417
00:23:47,664 --> 00:23:50,042
I still don't understand
why we're helping her anyway.

418
00:23:50,125 --> 00:23:51,293
She ain't one of us.

419
00:23:51,376 --> 00:23:54,046
Because you have never been to Psych.

420
00:23:54,129 --> 00:23:55,755
Nobody saved me from the SHU.

421
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,050
Well, eventually,
you come back from the SHU.

422
00:23:58,133 --> 00:23:59,718
And look, besides, as long as she with us,

423
00:23:59,801 --> 00:24:02,554
we're gonna be like
the Tiger Woods of prison cliques.

424
00:24:02,637 --> 00:24:04,514
Blasian is beautiful.

425
00:24:04,598 --> 00:24:05,975
Hey, that's right.

426
00:24:06,058 --> 00:24:09,895
Your skin doesn't have to be black,
as long as your heart is black.

427
00:24:11,146 --> 00:24:12,647
Um...

428
00:24:12,731 --> 00:24:13,899
She's sleeping again.

429
00:24:13,983 --> 00:24:16,318
You've been pretty chill
about all of this.

430
00:24:16,401 --> 00:24:18,988
- Shh.
- Man, what you doin', anyway?

431
00:24:19,071 --> 00:24:22,074
Well, for your nosy information,
I'm working on my conversion essay.

432
00:24:22,157 --> 00:24:24,618
-You still on that?
-You damn right.

433
00:24:24,701 --> 00:24:26,161
--No matter what they take from me,

434
00:24:26,245 --> 00:24:28,247
they can't take away
my motherfucking kosher meals.

435
00:24:28,330 --> 00:24:32,751
Okay. I got a Black Jew,
I got an Asian Black,

436
00:24:32,834 --> 00:24:35,504
a bunch of race-squatting carpetbaggers.

437
00:24:35,587 --> 00:24:40,300
You've disciplined your body in accordance
with the teachings of blessed Elijah,

438
00:24:40,384 --> 00:24:42,636
for the glory of Allah.

439
00:24:42,719 --> 00:24:44,429
But anything more, anything more,

440
00:24:44,513 --> 00:24:47,474
is self-aggrandizing and immodest,
and I forbid it.

441
00:24:47,557 --> 00:24:49,726
What about college?

442
00:24:49,809 --> 00:24:51,811
Running track can pay for it.

443
00:24:51,896 --> 00:24:55,732
Not if it means running half-naked
in public, like a common whore.

444
00:24:55,815 --> 00:24:57,526
I can't compete wearing a tent.

445
00:24:57,609 --> 00:25:01,321
She has a talent and a passion,
and college,

446
00:25:01,405 --> 00:25:05,075
a good college, is out of reach
without this.

447
00:25:05,159 --> 00:25:09,704
Especially for a woman.
Especially for a black woman.

448
00:25:09,788 --> 00:25:12,249
- Money is not my god.

449
00:25:14,084 --> 00:25:17,296
Maybe Allah ain't my god.

450
00:25:18,672 --> 00:25:22,759
Maybe I don't want to be
a proud daughter in the Nation of Islam.

451
00:25:34,896 --> 00:25:37,399
I mean, at least
she knows who the father is, right?

452
00:25:37,482 --> 00:25:40,027
Even if he's a shit-eating pussy
who walked out.

453
00:25:40,110 --> 00:25:41,153
Mmm.

454
00:25:41,236 --> 00:25:44,281
That baby ain't never
gonna hear the name Bennett.

455
00:25:44,364 --> 00:25:48,160
My dad was either Julio,
Rodrigo, or Chad.

456
00:25:48,243 --> 00:25:50,829
My luck, it was fucking Chad.

457
00:25:50,912 --> 00:25:53,165
- A mailbox that leaks pee.
- Uh-uh.

458
00:25:53,999 --> 00:25:55,459
I asked for a C-section,

459
00:25:55,542 --> 00:25:58,462
so my sails wouldn't be
flapping in the wind.

460
00:25:58,545 --> 00:26:00,047
I don't have anything flapping.

461
00:26:00,130 --> 00:26:02,799
It feels like, you know, when you get
punched in the eye and it swells shut?

462
00:26:02,882 --> 00:26:04,259
Except I got punched in the chocha.

463
00:26:04,343 --> 00:26:06,720
You're back,
and you didn't come talk to your mother?

464
00:26:06,803 --> 00:26:07,887
What kind of shit is that?

465
00:26:09,181 --> 00:26:11,976
I knew I didn't have to
'cause you're gonna butt in anyway.

466
00:26:12,059 --> 00:26:13,685
You got what you wanted, didn't you?

467
00:26:13,768 --> 00:26:15,479
I was with my baby two hours,

468
00:26:15,562 --> 00:26:18,398
getting ready to hand it over
to Pornstache's mom.

469
00:26:18,482 --> 00:26:21,568
And who shows up?
Cesar and our cousin, Yas.

470
00:26:21,651 --> 00:26:24,321
Don't pretend like you ain't happy,
'cause I know you are.

471
00:26:24,404 --> 00:26:25,614
Ah, you don't know anything.

472
00:26:26,615 --> 00:26:30,035
You're happy, but you can't say it
'cause you gotta hate me.

473
00:26:31,078 --> 00:26:33,580
You said keeping the baby
was the worst thing for her.

474
00:26:33,663 --> 00:26:34,999
Yeah, well, kids adapt.

475
00:26:35,082 --> 00:26:37,251
--Marc Anthony grew up in the projects

476
00:26:37,334 --> 00:26:40,670
and now he's rich and got to stick it
to J. Lo even though he's pocket-size.

477
00:26:41,671 --> 00:26:43,507
And this was about you.

478
00:26:44,424 --> 00:26:47,761
I know that feeling you got
when you had her in your arms.

479
00:26:47,844 --> 00:26:50,805
And if that went away forever,
you'd be all kinds of fucked up.

480
00:26:50,889 --> 00:26:53,767
You make her sound like she's drugs.

481
00:26:53,850 --> 00:26:55,310
The worst kind.

482
00:26:56,603 --> 00:27:00,024
She's gonna make you feel better
than you ever thought you could,

483
00:27:00,107 --> 00:27:02,609
then drain all your money
and ruin your life.

484
00:27:03,610 --> 00:27:04,861
You're always gonna need her.

485
00:27:06,196 --> 00:27:09,158
And even when you hate her,
you're gonna love her.

486
00:27:10,367 --> 00:27:12,286
Even when she's in prison with you.

487
00:27:19,834 --> 00:27:22,671
-Thank you.
-Was that so fucking hard?

488
00:27:24,756 --> 00:27:28,302
Nosing whiskey isn't like sniffing wine.

489
00:27:28,385 --> 00:27:30,720
Now, you'd fry your brain
right out of your skull

490
00:27:30,804 --> 00:27:34,058
with full nasal insertion
into the tumbler.

491
00:27:34,141 --> 00:27:36,226
No, nosing is an art form of its own.

492
00:27:36,310 --> 00:27:39,271
All right, when you boys are ready,
go ahead and imbibe.

493
00:27:39,354 --> 00:27:40,522
But don't swallow.

494
00:27:40,605 --> 00:27:43,108
Chew the scotch.

495
00:27:43,192 --> 00:27:47,028
Let it explore the different
taste corners of your tongue.

496
00:27:47,112 --> 00:27:50,031
He stole all that fellating
whiskey stuff from a YouTube video.

497
00:27:50,115 --> 00:27:51,575
You got something to say there, Danny?

498
00:27:51,658 --> 00:27:53,952
Dad, uh, we just really need
to get down to business.

499
00:27:54,035 --> 00:27:56,580
--Danny, I'm trying to teach you.

500
00:27:56,663 --> 00:27:57,997
It's all business.

501
00:27:58,082 --> 00:28:01,543
The club, the bullshit, it's a dance.

502
00:28:01,626 --> 00:28:03,670
Yeah, well, Burset comes out of the SHU.
Cha-cha-cha.

503
00:28:05,797 --> 00:28:07,257
Uh, Burset comes out of the SHU.

504
00:28:07,341 --> 00:28:08,842
I heard you the first time.

505
00:28:09,926 --> 00:28:11,010
Where was your preamble?

506
00:28:11,095 --> 00:28:13,805
Where was the lead-in
where you reminded me

507
00:28:13,888 --> 00:28:17,226
how you saved money on the fence repair
and the new meal plan?

508
00:28:17,309 --> 00:28:19,478
Come on, I taught you better!

509
00:28:20,061 --> 00:28:22,272
Tell me about the new beds
we're installing.

510
00:28:22,356 --> 00:28:25,109
Tell me how much more money
we're gonna make.

511
00:28:25,192 --> 00:28:28,027
Mr. Pearson, we need to focus

512
00:28:28,112 --> 00:28:30,989
on the people we're tucking
into these new beds,

513
00:28:31,072 --> 00:28:33,450
or any budget surplus we find

514
00:28:33,533 --> 00:28:38,247
is going straight to fight one
gross-negligence lawsuit after another.

515
00:28:38,330 --> 00:28:42,501
We have a chance
to set the pace with Burset.

516
00:28:42,584 --> 00:28:44,461
We can't keep her in the SHU forever,

517
00:28:44,544 --> 00:28:47,631
and the longer we do,
the more we open ourselves up for...

518
00:28:47,714 --> 00:28:50,134
Let me back you up here
for a second, Joe.

519
00:28:50,217 --> 00:28:53,428
Ms. Burset is in protective custody,

520
00:28:53,512 --> 00:28:56,223
- not solitary confinement.

521
00:28:56,306 --> 00:28:58,725
It's both one and the horrible same, sir.

522
00:28:58,808 --> 00:29:00,685
I understand.

523
00:29:00,769 --> 00:29:06,233
And we need to talk about updating
our facilities and our policies

524
00:29:06,316 --> 00:29:08,443
about their use as a long-term priority.

525
00:29:08,527 --> 00:29:11,029
-Well, how can a priority be long-term?
-Uh, Danny...

526
00:29:11,113 --> 00:29:14,991
No, no, no, a priority by definition is
something that needs to happen right now.

527
00:29:15,074 --> 00:29:16,243
I think what Danny means--

528
00:29:16,326 --> 00:29:18,245
No, no, no, no, he knows what I mean.

529
00:29:18,328 --> 00:29:20,164
What I mean is
Burset comes out of the SHU,

530
00:29:20,247 --> 00:29:22,416
-'cause she didn't do anything wrong!
-All right, son, all right.

531
00:29:22,499 --> 00:29:25,835
No, don't do that! That placating thing!
You're doing it right now!

532
00:29:25,919 --> 00:29:28,172
And you lied to me,
and you did it to my face!

533
00:29:28,255 --> 00:29:29,798
I told you we would
look over our options.

534
00:29:29,881 --> 00:29:31,258
- We did...

535
00:29:31,341 --> 00:29:33,343
...and there were none better.
So you can either suck it up--

536
00:29:33,427 --> 00:29:35,094
You know, fine!
That's it! I quit!

537
00:29:35,179 --> 00:29:36,638
Whoa, what's going on?

538
00:29:36,721 --> 00:29:39,849
Yeah.
Enjoy nose-fucking your whiskey!

539
00:29:41,393 --> 00:29:42,561
This is out of line.

540
00:29:59,578 --> 00:30:01,580
Find anything good?

541
00:30:01,663 --> 00:30:03,915
These donated books are the suck.

542
00:30:05,334 --> 00:30:07,294
I read that one already.

543
00:30:07,377 --> 00:30:10,422
Once you rebuild your bones with butter,
you're gonna have to unclog your arteries

544
00:30:10,505 --> 00:30:12,924
with, like, a Shop-Vac or something.

545
00:30:13,007 --> 00:30:14,218
It's kind of bullshit.

546
00:30:14,301 --> 00:30:15,427
Spoiler alert.

547
00:30:16,761 --> 00:30:20,932
Hey, um, thanks again for giving me
a second chance, Chapman.

548
00:30:22,267 --> 00:30:23,310
I'm really grateful.

549
00:30:23,393 --> 00:30:24,394
Uh-huh.

550
00:30:31,109 --> 00:30:33,278
- Next!

551
00:30:33,362 --> 00:30:34,571
Nah, we don't got that.

552
00:30:34,654 --> 00:30:38,242
All these new guards.
Infiltrators.

553
00:30:38,325 --> 00:30:39,451
Next.

554
00:30:39,534 --> 00:30:41,620
Did you see the toothpick guy?

555
00:30:41,703 --> 00:30:43,747
Uh, no. I've been laying real low.

556
00:30:43,830 --> 00:30:45,164
Don't turn around!

557
00:30:47,251 --> 00:30:48,668
They're watching.

558
00:30:49,961 --> 00:30:52,256
There's the squirrelly dude
who looks like a young Jack Nicholson,

559
00:30:52,339 --> 00:30:54,674
who's always givin' everybody donuts.

560
00:30:54,758 --> 00:30:56,551
Then there's the high-school-looking kid

561
00:30:56,635 --> 00:31:00,305
who uses that little baby face
to get away with... something.

562
00:31:00,389 --> 00:31:04,518
And now, there's a toothpick guy.
He started today!

563
00:31:04,601 --> 00:31:06,395
Next.

564
00:31:06,478 --> 00:31:09,231
-Thanks. I'll be careful.
-You will be dead.

565
00:31:10,482 --> 00:31:13,818
I haven't even gotten started on
the black Mr. Clean over there.

566
00:31:15,362 --> 00:31:19,073
What, CO Please-and-thank-you?
He's a teddy bear.

567
00:31:19,157 --> 00:31:22,952
Who are the Teddy Bears?
Should I know about them?

568
00:31:24,663 --> 00:31:25,789
Next.

569
00:31:28,583 --> 00:31:31,253
Ivory soap, Colgate, Diet Coke.

570
00:31:34,423 --> 00:31:35,424
Bad choice.

571
00:31:35,507 --> 00:31:38,968
Aspartame invented by
Donald Rumsfeld in the '80s.

572
00:31:40,136 --> 00:31:42,221
Mind control.

573
00:31:42,306 --> 00:31:43,557
That's true.

574
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,725
Seriously? You, too?

575
00:31:46,935 --> 00:31:49,563
Did you know that Monsanto

576
00:31:49,646 --> 00:31:53,149
gave Donald Rumsfeld
$12 million for aspartame in 1985?

577
00:31:53,232 --> 00:31:54,651
Yes.

578
00:31:55,569 --> 00:31:56,945
All right, we should talk.

579
00:31:59,197 --> 00:32:01,240
Soso, thanks for comin'.

580
00:32:01,325 --> 00:32:04,077
Please, have a seat.

581
00:32:08,247 --> 00:32:09,499
Are you okay?

582
00:32:10,750 --> 00:32:12,711
You look, uh...

583
00:32:13,878 --> 00:32:16,255
Did they give you
your prescription at medical?

584
00:32:17,256 --> 00:32:19,509
Well, sometimes it takes
a couple of weeks to even out.

585
00:32:19,593 --> 00:32:21,303
What did you wanna see me about?

586
00:32:21,386 --> 00:32:22,762
Berdie Rogers.

587
00:32:23,847 --> 00:32:25,098
Is she coming back?

588
00:32:26,350 --> 00:32:31,145
Mr. Caputo is gonna be talking
to several inmates about her conduct.

589
00:32:31,229 --> 00:32:33,147
I want you to know that you can trust him.

590
00:32:33,231 --> 00:32:36,776
You can basically tell him
anything you would tell me.

591
00:32:36,860 --> 00:32:42,031
For example, don't be afraid to tell him
that you spoke with her for several weeks

592
00:32:42,115 --> 00:32:44,576
and she offered you
no medical care for your...

593
00:32:45,785 --> 00:32:47,120
Your mental condition.

594
00:32:49,247 --> 00:32:52,041
You're really bad at your job, Mr. Healy.

595
00:32:54,961 --> 00:32:57,756
Like, really bad.

596
00:32:59,799 --> 00:33:03,302
You make me feel worse about myself
every time we talk.

597
00:33:05,179 --> 00:33:06,640
Berdie helped me.

598
00:33:08,266 --> 00:33:10,184
I'm going now.

599
00:33:19,403 --> 00:33:21,488
-We're ready.
-You made that?

600
00:33:21,571 --> 00:33:22,989
Mmm-hmm.

601
00:33:23,072 --> 00:33:25,575
As good as any tattoo gun
you'll see in the real world.

602
00:33:25,659 --> 00:33:26,993
I mean, almost.

603
00:33:27,076 --> 00:33:29,037
This is a spinny thing
from an old Discman,

604
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,581
and that drives the needle
that I snagged from the sweatshop.

605
00:33:31,665 --> 00:33:33,833
Where did you find a Discman?

606
00:33:33,917 --> 00:33:35,960
One of the OG ladies.

607
00:33:36,044 --> 00:33:39,255
She traded it for a fan.
Thank God for hot flashes.

608
00:33:41,257 --> 00:33:43,427
Add a little power.

609
00:33:46,220 --> 00:33:48,222
And some ink.

610
00:33:49,391 --> 00:33:52,268
Now all I need... is the girl.

611
00:33:53,311 --> 00:33:57,982
I'm thinking an infinity symbol.
I'm thinking a small infinity symbol.

612
00:33:58,066 --> 00:33:59,443
Mmm-mmm. Cliché.

613
00:33:59,526 --> 00:34:01,653
Said the girl with the...

614
00:34:03,488 --> 00:34:04,739
- Yeah.

615
00:34:04,823 --> 00:34:06,866
Those are all pretty unique.

616
00:34:06,950 --> 00:34:10,620
Let me surprise you.
Unless you don't trust me.

617
00:34:10,704 --> 00:34:12,497
I don't trust anybody,

618
00:34:12,581 --> 00:34:14,416
and I'm starting to have
second thoughts about this.

619
00:34:14,499 --> 00:34:16,292
Chicken. Come on, it's white ink.

620
00:34:16,375 --> 00:34:18,462
You're not even gonna see it,
not unless you're looking for it.

621
00:34:19,629 --> 00:34:22,048
Fine. But subtle.

622
00:34:24,884 --> 00:34:25,969
Ow!

623
00:34:26,052 --> 00:34:27,136
Oh, this hurts.

624
00:34:27,220 --> 00:34:29,806
Um, I need a distraction.

625
00:34:29,889 --> 00:34:34,060
Nope. That's not it at all.
You need to do the opposite.

626
00:34:34,143 --> 00:34:36,730
- You need to honor the pain.

627
00:34:36,813 --> 00:34:37,981
Really feel it.

628
00:34:38,064 --> 00:34:41,860
Tell yourself you're into it.
It's your pain.

629
00:34:41,943 --> 00:34:43,277
I'm into it?

630
00:34:43,361 --> 00:34:46,781
Yeah, you're really into it.
You own it.

631
00:34:48,992 --> 00:34:50,827
I'm gonna miss you.

632
00:34:51,410 --> 00:34:53,788
At least now you'll have
something to remember me by.

633
00:34:57,792 --> 00:35:02,130
Something that both
June and Joann don't realize.

634
00:35:02,213 --> 00:35:04,549
Hold on, ladies. Ladies. Okay.

635
00:35:04,633 --> 00:35:08,261
Sister, I got a favor to ask.
Can I make a confession to you?

636
00:35:08,344 --> 00:35:10,429
Of sin or crime?

637
00:35:10,514 --> 00:35:14,017
Not that I'm qualified
to handle either one.

638
00:35:14,100 --> 00:35:15,184
Sin. Guilt.

639
00:35:15,268 --> 00:35:16,936
How about I listen and advise?

640
00:35:17,771 --> 00:35:21,107
-You wanna wait till your show's over?
-Oh, it's a repeat. Go ahead.

641
00:35:26,696 --> 00:35:30,408
Okay, so, I had a grudge
against this person,

642
00:35:30,492 --> 00:35:32,911
and she got herself into some trouble.

643
00:35:32,994 --> 00:35:36,289
And I never spoke up

644
00:35:36,372 --> 00:35:40,585
and said, "Hey,
she's not really dangerous!"

645
00:35:41,586 --> 00:35:43,505
It's never too late to do the right thing.

646
00:35:43,588 --> 00:35:47,300
It is... if she's already in Seg.

647
00:35:47,383 --> 00:35:49,260
Sophia's my friend,

648
00:35:49,343 --> 00:35:53,389
so forgive me if I have
a hard time staying objective.

649
00:35:53,472 --> 00:35:56,810
It's this place.

650
00:35:58,812 --> 00:36:02,315
We're locked up, all of us in a cage.

651
00:36:03,399 --> 00:36:05,443
And it brings out, man...

652
00:36:05,527 --> 00:36:09,948
it brings out the worst,
most selfish parts.

653
00:36:10,031 --> 00:36:11,240
It's this place.

654
00:36:11,324 --> 00:36:13,367
It's us.

655
00:36:13,451 --> 00:36:16,162
I didn't say anything either
when they took Sophia to Seg.

656
00:36:17,956 --> 00:36:21,334
We fail,
and God forgives us, but...

657
00:36:23,294 --> 00:36:27,591
I don't know if we can ever really...
forgive each other...

658
00:36:29,258 --> 00:36:30,384
or ourselves.

659
00:36:30,468 --> 00:36:33,346
I guess you can say some Hail Marys.

660
00:36:33,429 --> 00:36:36,349
I don't know what else to tell you.
It's all wrong.

661
00:36:38,517 --> 00:36:41,605
Enough, already.
You're going to embarrass me.

662
00:36:41,688 --> 00:36:42,772
Shh!

663
00:36:49,070 --> 00:36:51,615
Oh, my God. Please.

664
00:36:51,698 --> 00:36:53,366
You want a little boy or not?

665
00:36:53,449 --> 00:36:56,369
They already told me last month
it's a girl.

666
00:36:56,452 --> 00:36:58,079
Hokey pokey can't change that.

667
00:37:01,124 --> 00:37:02,917
Pretend like she ain't even here.

668
00:37:05,419 --> 00:37:06,545
Let's get you set up.

669
00:37:08,923 --> 00:37:12,343
- Okay. This may be a little cold.
- Mmm.

670
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,431
Okay.

671
00:37:24,606 --> 00:37:26,482
Everything's looking good.

672
00:37:27,566 --> 00:37:31,195
Heart's beating like a little hummingbird.

673
00:37:31,279 --> 00:37:32,363
And the...

674
00:37:36,660 --> 00:37:37,827
What happened?

675
00:37:37,911 --> 00:37:40,413
Uh, no, no. She's fine.
It's just...

676
00:37:41,247 --> 00:37:42,791
she's a he.

677
00:37:42,874 --> 00:37:45,209
It's rare that we're wrong on that, but...

678
00:37:45,293 --> 00:37:47,045
Yes! Amen!

679
00:37:47,128 --> 00:37:49,588
- I can see his little pee-pee right there!

680
00:37:56,971 --> 00:38:00,183
I still don't understand
what I'm doing here.

681
00:38:00,266 --> 00:38:03,144
-You a part of my Beit Din.
-Excuse me?

682
00:38:03,227 --> 00:38:04,938
I'm converting.

683
00:38:05,021 --> 00:38:06,439
Mmm-hmm.

684
00:38:06,522 --> 00:38:08,482
This here's Ginsberg.
She's been helping me out.

685
00:38:08,566 --> 00:38:09,859
And that's Boyle.

686
00:38:09,943 --> 00:38:11,194
I know her name don't sound Jewish,

687
00:38:11,277 --> 00:38:15,156
but she Jewish on her mama's side,
and her great-uncle died in the Holocaust,

688
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:17,575
and she taught me
the Hebrew alphabet for granola bars.

689
00:38:17,659 --> 00:38:20,954
So, I'm here to present my case.

690
00:38:21,037 --> 00:38:22,621
I'm here to ask three times

691
00:38:22,706 --> 00:38:25,458
and get told "No" and "No,"
and then "Yes,"

692
00:38:25,541 --> 00:38:26,751
and then be a Jew.

693
00:38:26,835 --> 00:38:29,838
I'm here to take the name Tova,
which means "good"...

694
00:38:30,797 --> 00:38:32,006
because it's all good now.

695
00:38:33,967 --> 00:38:35,927
I've been working for real, Rabbi.
Try me.

696
00:38:36,010 --> 00:38:37,636
--For serious!

697
00:38:37,721 --> 00:38:39,555
I'm ready to get my Jew on.

698
00:38:39,638 --> 00:38:43,476
And it ain't just about the food,
although the more I been learnin',

699
00:38:43,559 --> 00:38:45,603
the food a big part of it, am I right?

700
00:38:45,687 --> 00:38:47,438
She's been really dedicated.

701
00:38:47,521 --> 00:38:49,983
Why she wants to go from being
a hated minority

702
00:38:50,066 --> 00:38:54,195
to a double-hated minority is beyond me,
but she's for real.

703
00:38:54,946 --> 00:38:57,031
We've been studying, arguing.

704
00:38:58,657 --> 00:39:03,204
Hey, uh, you wouldn't happen to be
related to Aimee Tatelbaum, would you?

705
00:39:03,287 --> 00:39:04,831
She's my cousin.

706
00:39:04,914 --> 00:39:08,251
Oh, my God!
We were at Penn together.

707
00:39:09,878 --> 00:39:12,630
Wait, Alan? Cousin Alan?

708
00:39:14,423 --> 00:39:18,261
I know some things about you.
Oh, Alan.

709
00:39:18,344 --> 00:39:20,930
You'd better Beit Din this woman
before I start to talk.

710
00:39:21,014 --> 00:39:23,725
-Well, Aimee's full of shit.
-Oh, is she?

711
00:39:23,808 --> 00:39:27,061
Like the story about you and
the Berkshires with Samantha Gottleib

712
00:39:27,145 --> 00:39:30,023
- and the mushrooms, that's bullshit? Yeah.
- That's not...

713
00:39:30,106 --> 00:39:32,025
-Ask, Tova. Ask.
-Mmm. Mmm-hmm.

714
00:39:32,108 --> 00:39:33,735
Hey.

715
00:39:34,903 --> 00:39:37,655
-Can I be a Jew?
-No.

716
00:39:38,740 --> 00:39:40,699
Can I be a Jew?

717
00:39:40,784 --> 00:39:42,076
No.

718
00:39:45,246 --> 00:39:46,790
Can I be a Jew?

719
00:39:48,124 --> 00:39:49,458
You really want this?

720
00:39:50,251 --> 00:39:51,710
Sincerely?

721
00:39:51,795 --> 00:39:55,589
Not because this one's trying to blackmail
me for something stupid when I was 19

722
00:39:55,673 --> 00:39:58,301
or for broccoli with your dinner?

723
00:39:58,384 --> 00:39:59,761
What is this for you?

724
00:40:05,099 --> 00:40:06,517
Honestly...

725
00:40:19,738 --> 00:40:21,615
I think I found my people.

726
00:40:27,371 --> 00:40:30,166
I was raised in a church...

727
00:40:30,249 --> 00:40:33,294
where I was told to believe and pray.

728
00:40:35,129 --> 00:40:37,548
And if I was bad, I'd go to hell.

729
00:40:37,631 --> 00:40:40,301
If I was good, I'd go to heaven.

730
00:40:40,384 --> 00:40:44,388
And if I'd ask Jesus,
he'd forgive me, and that was that.

731
00:40:44,472 --> 00:40:47,934
And here y'all saying ain't no hell...
ain't...

732
00:40:49,227 --> 00:40:51,187
sure about heaven.

733
00:40:51,270 --> 00:40:55,733
And if you do something wrong,
you got to figure it out yourself.

734
00:40:55,817 --> 00:40:58,027
And as far as God's concerned,

735
00:40:58,111 --> 00:41:03,782
it's your job to keep aksing questions
and to keep learning and to keep arguing.

736
00:41:03,867 --> 00:41:08,412
It's like a verb.
It's like... you do God.

737
00:41:10,581 --> 00:41:12,583
And that's a lot of work.

738
00:41:13,877 --> 00:41:17,713
But I think I'm in,
at least as far as I can see it.

739
00:41:18,882 --> 00:41:20,258
I mean, maybe I'll learn more...

740
00:41:22,385 --> 00:41:24,387
and say, "Fuck the whole thing."

741
00:41:24,470 --> 00:41:29,683
I mean, but I wanna learn more,
and I think I gotta be in it to do that.

742
00:41:29,767 --> 00:41:31,769
You know, does that make sense?

743
00:41:31,853 --> 00:41:34,230
Shit, did I just talk myself out of it?

744
00:41:37,816 --> 00:41:38,902
Fuck.

745
00:41:44,698 --> 00:41:45,867
Ask me again.

746
00:41:52,581 --> 00:41:54,500
-Can I be a Jew?
-Yes.

747
00:41:54,583 --> 00:41:56,585
No, I need three answers.

748
00:41:56,669 --> 00:41:58,754
-Yes.
-Yes.

749
00:42:01,007 --> 00:42:02,926
Yeah!

750
00:42:04,510 --> 00:42:07,846
Look at me now!
I'm a bona fide jailhouse Jew!

751
00:42:08,847 --> 00:42:11,434
Sort of. It's not really official
without the mikvah,

752
00:42:11,517 --> 00:42:14,562
but that was wonderful.
Really, Tova. Congratulations.

753
00:42:14,645 --> 00:42:16,147
Hold up. Mik-what?

754
00:42:16,230 --> 00:42:17,899
Oh, it's like, um...

755
00:42:17,982 --> 00:42:20,609
It's like a baptism,
but without all the touching.

756
00:42:20,693 --> 00:42:21,945
You soak in a pool

757
00:42:22,028 --> 00:42:25,573
and you clean off all that Christian filth
that you've been carrying around.

758
00:42:26,782 --> 00:42:29,327
-We can fake that shit in the shower.
-No, that won't count.

759
00:42:29,410 --> 00:42:31,996
The mikvah needs to be pure,
naturally occurring water,

760
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,540
and you need to be fully submerged,
and nude.

761
00:42:34,623 --> 00:42:36,834
Yeah. Maybe it'll rain, okay?

762
00:42:36,918 --> 00:42:40,046
There'll be a sinkhole or something,
and we'll make it official then.

763
00:42:40,129 --> 00:42:42,756
In the meantime, you are Jew-ish.

764
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:43,841
Huh?

765
00:42:46,844 --> 00:42:50,139
Most holy, righteous,
and everywhere-present God,

766
00:42:50,223 --> 00:42:55,311
our Father who art in Heaven,
we ask thy blessing upon this food.

767
00:42:55,394 --> 00:42:58,481
Bless the hearts and the hands
of those that provide the same,

768
00:42:58,564 --> 00:43:02,860
and when it is ours to pass
from time to eternity...

769
00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:09,951
Do you know what awaits sinners like you,

770
00:43:10,034 --> 00:43:11,910
self-worshippers of the flesh?

771
00:43:11,995 --> 00:43:15,414
Do you know what is your Promised Land?

772
00:43:15,498 --> 00:43:17,791
Answer me, Cindy!
Do you know?

773
00:43:18,917 --> 00:43:24,090
Deuteronomy, chapter 29, verse 23,
tells us about your Promised Land.

774
00:43:24,173 --> 00:43:26,467
Your land is brimstone and salt,

775
00:43:26,550 --> 00:43:29,803
a burning waste, unsown and unproductive,

776
00:43:29,887 --> 00:43:33,766
and no grass grows on it,
like the overthrow of Sodom and Gomorrah.

777
00:43:33,849 --> 00:43:37,645
So thou must not sin! Amen!

778
00:43:37,728 --> 00:43:39,938
- Amen.
- Say "amen"!

779
00:43:40,023 --> 00:43:43,151
Amen, amen, amen, amen.

780
00:43:47,321 --> 00:43:48,781
Maxwell said you wanted to see me?

781
00:43:48,864 --> 00:43:52,160
Yeah, Morello's getting married.
She asked that you be the witness.

782
00:43:52,243 --> 00:43:54,828
Ah, I heard the happy news an hour ago.

783
00:43:54,912 --> 00:43:56,747
Oh, she's a rash girl.

784
00:43:56,830 --> 00:44:00,501
All heart and tits and no brain, hmm?

785
00:44:00,584 --> 00:44:02,420
Well, thanks for letting me know.

786
00:44:02,503 --> 00:44:05,506
I'll get started
on my maid of honor speech.

787
00:44:05,589 --> 00:44:06,757
Can I ask you a question?

788
00:44:18,769 --> 00:44:24,192
You and I... have a special relationship.

789
00:44:24,275 --> 00:44:27,070
That's why I feel like
I can ask you this question.

790
00:44:27,153 --> 00:44:30,114
Would you say that I'm bad at my job?

791
00:44:30,198 --> 00:44:33,576
Well, the very fact
that we have a special relationship

792
00:44:33,659 --> 00:44:35,078
and that you acknowledge it

793
00:44:35,161 --> 00:44:38,331
should at least partially
answer your question, Healy.

794
00:44:39,373 --> 00:44:42,043
But I'd be lying
if I said it hasn't helped me.

795
00:44:42,710 --> 00:44:44,712
It has.

796
00:44:44,795 --> 00:44:48,216
Having a contemporary in here
who isn't A, a woman,

797
00:44:48,299 --> 00:44:52,970
and B, a thieving, lying, crazy,
murderous, drug-addled woman,

798
00:44:53,053 --> 00:44:55,223
- has been a godsend.

799
00:44:55,306 --> 00:44:57,350
Are you good at your job?

800
00:44:57,433 --> 00:44:59,560
I don't know.

801
00:45:01,061 --> 00:45:05,023
But I know that you've helped me,
and I'm grateful to you for it.

802
00:45:07,818 --> 00:45:11,114
Can I go now that
I've watered your ego flower?

803
00:45:11,197 --> 00:45:13,324
Yes.

804
00:45:15,576 --> 00:45:19,580
Your prison mistress
gave you a prison tat.

805
00:45:19,663 --> 00:45:21,124
You are turning into a trope.

806
00:45:21,207 --> 00:45:24,418
-She's my business partner, with benefits.
-Ah.

807
00:45:24,502 --> 00:45:27,380
She's getting out and wanted to
give me something to remember her by.

808
00:45:27,463 --> 00:45:29,465
I was sad, so I let her.

809
00:45:29,548 --> 00:45:31,967
White ink, huh?

810
00:45:32,050 --> 00:45:35,971
That must be pretty intimidating
to some of these girls,

811
00:45:36,054 --> 00:45:38,641
maybe under, like,
a black light or something.

812
00:45:39,558 --> 00:45:41,810
-What does it say?
-It says "Trust no bitch."

813
00:45:42,561 --> 00:45:46,023
And yes, as a matter of fact,
the girls are scared shitless.

814
00:45:46,774 --> 00:45:47,775
Hmm.

815
00:45:48,609 --> 00:45:49,985
I'm quite gangsta.

816
00:45:52,488 --> 00:45:56,700
Oh, shit. What?

817
00:45:56,784 --> 00:45:59,787
I have to give you honesty,
because that's how I need to live,

818
00:45:59,870 --> 00:46:00,913
in truth.

819
00:46:00,996 --> 00:46:02,581
What the fuck, Cal?

820
00:46:02,665 --> 00:46:05,626
Neri is selling extra panties on the side.

821
00:46:06,877 --> 00:46:08,296
What? No.

822
00:46:08,379 --> 00:46:09,713
-Yeah.
-All wrong.

823
00:46:09,797 --> 00:46:11,131
And where's she getting
people to wear them?

824
00:46:11,215 --> 00:46:16,470
Well, um, actually, we invented
a miso-tuna-honey sauce

825
00:46:16,554 --> 00:46:19,432
that tastes quite delicious
until you add the glue.

826
00:46:19,515 --> 00:46:22,893
You're diluting the brand.
You have to get her to stop.

827
00:46:22,976 --> 00:46:25,103
Neri's knock-off prison panties
aren't the problem.

828
00:46:25,188 --> 00:46:28,857
In fact, her questionable criminal ethics
might actually offset the real problem.

829
00:46:28,941 --> 00:46:31,819
My job is to handle shit in here.
Your job is to handle shit out there.

830
00:46:31,902 --> 00:46:35,989
Okay, Pipes, while I'm really proud
of how evil prison has made you,

831
00:46:36,073 --> 00:46:38,242
I think you're overestimating
your villain index.

832
00:46:38,326 --> 00:46:40,203
You're still transitioning.

833
00:46:40,286 --> 00:46:43,080
You know, you're not Walter White yet.
You're...

834
00:46:43,163 --> 00:46:44,207
Walter White-ink.

835
00:46:44,290 --> 00:46:45,749
What are you talking about?

836
00:46:47,626 --> 00:46:49,127
Your money is gone.

837
00:46:50,170 --> 00:46:52,840
Somebody transferred
all of your clam clams.

838
00:46:53,674 --> 00:46:55,593
-When?
-This morning.

839
00:46:56,719 --> 00:46:58,554
Fucking Flaca!

840
00:47:22,411 --> 00:47:25,831
Was a time, Norma, you were good
at making people feel safe...

841
00:47:26,582 --> 00:47:28,626
at peace and calm.

842
00:47:28,709 --> 00:47:31,337
Then you let this cave troll
turn it into a cult.

843
00:47:31,420 --> 00:47:33,964
Hey, we're toasting Norma here.
It's our new thing.

844
00:47:34,047 --> 00:47:36,717
Brook Soso tried to kill herself.

845
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:38,802
She needed help,
and you pushed her away.

846
00:47:38,886 --> 00:47:41,430
As far as I'm concerned,
that makes you an accessory.

847
00:47:41,514 --> 00:47:43,766
-What the fuck?
-You better back up off

848
00:47:43,849 --> 00:47:47,102
before I smash those shit-stained
Chiclets you call teeth down your throat!

849
00:47:50,648 --> 00:47:52,941
Look at all of y'all.

850
00:47:53,025 --> 00:47:56,695
The whole point of being here
was to escape our shitty reality.

851
00:47:56,779 --> 00:47:59,865
What, and now you're worshipping
a piece of toast?

852
00:48:02,785 --> 00:48:05,413
You know, you actually
had me believing in miracles.

853
00:48:06,539 --> 00:48:09,667
But now I know miracles ain't real,
and you ain't shit.

854
00:48:12,711 --> 00:48:14,171
Okay, it's fine. It's okay.

855
00:48:14,254 --> 00:48:16,131
--It's okay.

856
00:48:16,214 --> 00:48:19,885
Would you stop it? It's fine.

857
00:48:21,053 --> 00:48:24,139
Norma Toast is safe.
We're good.

858
00:48:25,808 --> 00:48:27,393
Back to it.

859
00:48:28,977 --> 00:48:31,647
...and so then I woke up
in the laundry room.

860
00:48:31,730 --> 00:48:34,442
It was so weird.

861
00:48:34,525 --> 00:48:37,235
Maybe I was gonna wash my pants,
and I fell asleep.

862
00:48:38,321 --> 00:48:41,407
I think I need to start
taking vitamins, or...

863
00:48:41,490 --> 00:48:44,410
stop taking Ambien.
Something.

864
00:48:45,411 --> 00:48:48,622
Ooh, there's... There's an underpass
down Broad Street.

865
00:48:48,706 --> 00:48:51,417
It's a good spot.
Take a left up here.

866
00:48:51,500 --> 00:48:52,960
I don't feel very good.

867
00:48:53,043 --> 00:48:54,753
It's all right,
I'll make you feel better.

868
00:48:54,837 --> 00:48:57,297
No, my, my head.
It's, like, it's banging right now.

869
00:48:57,381 --> 00:48:58,882
It must be my lady time.

870
00:48:58,966 --> 00:49:01,677
Ain't nothing sexy about that.

871
00:49:02,636 --> 00:49:04,888
It doesn't bother me.
I kind of like it.

872
00:49:06,139 --> 00:49:09,101
Right here.
Take this left, right here.

873
00:49:09,184 --> 00:49:11,437
Hey, what are you doing?
I told you to make that left.

874
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:13,146
What's the matter with you?
You want...

875
00:49:13,230 --> 00:49:14,314
You want me to get a little rough?

876
00:49:14,398 --> 00:49:16,900
Is that it? A little roleplay?
You into that?

877
00:49:18,944 --> 00:49:21,530
Something's really wrong, like,

878
00:49:21,614 --> 00:49:24,367
like my Nancy Grace ears catnip.

879
00:49:24,450 --> 00:49:26,702
- What?
- Yes, something's...

880
00:49:26,785 --> 00:49:29,663
It's like my Nancy Grace
ears catnip bluegrass funeral.

881
00:49:29,747 --> 00:49:32,082
Tiff, are you okay?
What's the matter with you?

882
00:49:32,165 --> 00:49:33,501
Nancy Grace ears. I can't...

883
00:49:34,668 --> 00:49:36,462
Shit!

884
00:49:36,545 --> 00:49:37,838
Ahh!

885
00:49:46,514 --> 00:49:48,098
What the fuck is that noise?

886
00:49:48,181 --> 00:49:50,851
Is that real, or are you doing it
'cause you think it's a turn-on?

887
00:49:50,934 --> 00:49:52,561
-Is that your fucking excuse?
-Oh, fuck.

888
00:49:54,271 --> 00:49:56,399
-Fuck.
-The fuck.

889
00:49:57,441 --> 00:49:59,317
You've got to be fucking kidding me.

890
00:50:00,486 --> 00:50:01,779
Oh.

891
00:50:01,862 --> 00:50:03,906
What, are you gonna start crying now?

892
00:50:03,989 --> 00:50:06,450
My dick must have
finally realized who you are.

893
00:50:06,534 --> 00:50:07,535
I did not think

894
00:50:07,618 --> 00:50:10,996
one man could possibly have more
self-loathing than you already did.

895
00:50:11,079 --> 00:50:12,498
You must be loving this.

896
00:50:13,916 --> 00:50:15,959
Why are you here?
Why do you keep coming here?

897
00:50:16,043 --> 00:50:17,670
"Coming" is the operative word,

898
00:50:17,753 --> 00:50:20,005
which obviously
isn't happening tonight, so...

899
00:50:20,088 --> 00:50:21,715
Natalie, wait. Wait a second.

900
00:50:21,799 --> 00:50:24,760
"Natalie"? Jesus fucking Christ.

901
00:50:24,843 --> 00:50:27,430
I'm here because you're a good lay,

902
00:50:27,513 --> 00:50:30,474
and I relish the fact
that you hate me

903
00:50:30,558 --> 00:50:32,184
but you can't resist me.

904
00:50:32,267 --> 00:50:35,979
Don't worry.
I still loathe you, Fig.

905
00:50:36,063 --> 00:50:37,064
Oh, good.

906
00:50:37,147 --> 00:50:38,982
But you're, uh...

907
00:50:39,066 --> 00:50:41,109
I'm not really close to anyone right now.

908
00:50:41,193 --> 00:50:44,655
Do you have any idea
how pathetic you are, weirdo?

909
00:50:44,738 --> 00:50:47,115
Yes, actually, I do.

910
00:50:47,199 --> 00:50:50,243
I work for a sleazebag corporation,

911
00:50:50,327 --> 00:50:54,331
and I am hate-fucking
a dead-eyed, anorexic crone...

912
00:50:55,833 --> 00:50:57,460
who's the only person I can talk to.

913
00:50:58,376 --> 00:51:00,212
I'm living my worst nightmare.

914
00:51:01,254 --> 00:51:03,466
Then channel your inner Freddy Krueger

915
00:51:03,549 --> 00:51:07,052
and grab life by the balls
with your big, bladed fingers.

916
00:51:07,886 --> 00:51:10,723
Pearson quit over this Burset thing.

917
00:51:10,806 --> 00:51:12,933
-I should too, but--
-Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

918
00:51:13,016 --> 00:51:15,018
- Pearson quit?

919
00:51:15,102 --> 00:51:17,437
You have the chance for a promotion,
and you're going limp?

920
00:51:17,521 --> 00:51:21,024
Even if I wanted his job,
and I don't, it's a lateral move.

921
00:51:21,108 --> 00:51:22,818
A lateral move with more pay?

922
00:51:22,901 --> 00:51:25,571
Yes. It's a promotion.

923
00:51:27,197 --> 00:51:30,493
But I'm not gonna capitalize on Burset.
I'm gonna fight for her.

924
00:51:30,576 --> 00:51:31,619
Why?

925
00:51:31,702 --> 00:51:34,329
Because I wear protection,
so I haven't caught

926
00:51:34,412 --> 00:51:37,666
whatever form of syphilis you have
that caused your soul to rot.

927
00:51:37,750 --> 00:51:40,335
No, really. Why?

928
00:51:40,961 --> 00:51:43,005
You keep on martyring yourself
for these people, and why?

929
00:51:43,088 --> 00:51:46,341
Has anyone ever thanked you
for saving the prison?

930
00:51:47,092 --> 00:51:49,094
Just the people
who are now profiting from it.

931
00:51:49,177 --> 00:51:53,431
Well, maybe those are the people
you should be sticking your neck out for.

932
00:51:53,516 --> 00:51:55,768
Do what you have to do,

933
00:51:55,851 --> 00:51:59,354
or you're the one
who gets fucked in the ass.

934
00:52:01,524 --> 00:52:02,941
Speaking of which...

935
00:52:09,156 --> 00:52:10,949
You're so disgusting.

936
00:52:30,010 --> 00:52:31,178
Hey.

937
00:52:32,721 --> 00:52:35,223
I heard about your mother.

938
00:52:35,307 --> 00:52:37,643
Yeah. Thanks.

939
00:52:39,394 --> 00:52:40,395
You two good?

940
00:52:40,478 --> 00:52:41,897
What's that supposed to mean?

941
00:52:44,775 --> 00:52:46,068
You know what?

942
00:52:46,151 --> 00:52:48,779
Let's say our prayers
and go on with our days.

943
00:52:48,862 --> 00:52:50,447
That sounds good to you, little girl?

944
00:52:50,530 --> 00:52:52,741
-I ain't your little girl.
-Oh, I know that.

945
00:52:53,784 --> 00:52:55,869
You don't need nobody.
I got it.

946
00:52:55,953 --> 00:52:57,830
Certainly don't need people
who don't got my back.

947
00:52:57,913 --> 00:52:59,247
Well, maybe people
would have your back

948
00:52:59,331 --> 00:53:01,458
if they knew you weren't
gonna turn it on them.

949
00:53:04,127 --> 00:53:07,422
Hey, Gonzales.
You took my money?

950
00:53:07,505 --> 00:53:09,758
- What?
- You wanna fuck with me?

951
00:53:09,842 --> 00:53:12,219
You need to step back right now,

952
00:53:12,302 --> 00:53:14,054
or you gonna lay back, bitch.

953
00:53:14,137 --> 00:53:17,057
I don't care what she did,
what you think she did.

954
00:53:17,140 --> 00:53:19,142
You don't get to come here and push,

955
00:53:19,226 --> 00:53:21,144
or you're gonna get pushed.

956
00:53:21,228 --> 00:53:25,148
She saw me this morning
in the library, conducting business.

957
00:53:25,232 --> 00:53:27,610
All I saw you was reading
that stupid butter-bones book,

958
00:53:27,693 --> 00:53:29,695
and I told you it was bad science.
What are you talking about?

959
00:53:29,778 --> 00:53:31,697
You made up a story
about your sick mom

960
00:53:31,780 --> 00:53:33,115
so that I would let you back in.

961
00:53:33,198 --> 00:53:36,534
Her mother is sick, idiot.

962
00:53:36,619 --> 00:53:38,954
And why you think
she's in here on her knees?

963
00:53:39,037 --> 00:53:40,664
Huh, what's the matter with you?

964
00:53:43,500 --> 00:53:44,501
Well, good.

965
00:53:45,543 --> 00:53:46,837
I mean, not good that she's sick,

966
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,006
but good that you weren't lying,

967
00:53:49,089 --> 00:53:51,008
and I hope that she feels better,

968
00:53:51,091 --> 00:53:54,261
and I hope that you both know
not to mess with me.

969
00:54:29,462 --> 00:54:31,757
Angie ate Toast Norma.

970
00:54:33,633 --> 00:54:36,887
She thought it would give her powers
or some stupid shit,

971
00:54:36,970 --> 00:54:41,474
and I didn't stop her because
the people believed the stupid, black dyke

972
00:54:41,558 --> 00:54:44,602
who listened to that stupid, yellow chink.

973
00:54:45,270 --> 00:54:48,273
I mean "yellow" both racially
and as a chicken-shit.

974
00:54:48,356 --> 00:54:50,150
Only chicken-shits try to kill themselves.

975
00:54:52,569 --> 00:54:55,280
I know you're upset
about the toast.

976
00:54:55,363 --> 00:54:57,074
It was a bad idea.

977
00:55:01,411 --> 00:55:03,330
Norma, I still believe in you.

978
00:55:05,123 --> 00:55:08,210
Don't do this to me, please.

979
00:55:09,962 --> 00:55:11,839
You need me.

980
00:55:12,380 --> 00:55:13,716
I need you.

981
00:55:14,758 --> 00:55:16,176
We made miracles.

982
00:55:16,844 --> 00:55:18,011
No.

983
00:55:36,113 --> 00:55:38,073
--It's just a scratch.

984
00:55:38,156 --> 00:55:40,658
- They'll probably just buff that out.
- It's not a scratch, man.

985
00:55:40,743 --> 00:55:43,661
Huh. You okay?
What'd the doc say?

986
00:55:43,746 --> 00:55:46,664
I told him all about the word soup
and white eyeballs.

987
00:55:47,415 --> 00:55:49,292
-And?
-And, you know,

988
00:55:49,376 --> 00:55:53,630
even though it's probably
just a one-time, freak thing...

989
00:55:54,547 --> 00:55:56,633
I ain't fit to be the van girl no more.

990
00:56:02,305 --> 00:56:04,516
Who knew cousin Sandy's epilepsy

991
00:56:04,599 --> 00:56:06,935
would one day save
your hillbilly prison soul?

992
00:56:07,019 --> 00:56:08,728
You're a really good teacher.

993
00:56:08,812 --> 00:56:11,231
Yeah, and you, apparently,
are a fine actress.

994
00:56:13,316 --> 00:56:14,985
All he gets is a bandage over his eye.

995
00:56:15,068 --> 00:56:17,279
Yeah, but he bled a lot.

996
00:56:17,362 --> 00:56:18,738
Not out of his butt.

997
00:56:19,489 --> 00:56:21,574
Still, I consider that a win.

998
00:56:21,658 --> 00:56:22,700
Yeah.

999
00:56:22,785 --> 00:56:24,536
We need you over here.

1000
00:56:24,619 --> 00:56:27,164
Hi, it's Maritza.

1001
00:56:27,247 --> 00:56:29,707
Aw, shit.

1002
00:56:38,175 --> 00:56:39,176
Ah, shit.

1003
00:56:56,151 --> 00:56:57,610
Miss Black?

1004
00:56:57,694 --> 00:57:00,030
Your heart was in a dangerous arrhythmia.

1005
00:57:00,113 --> 00:57:02,199
We were able to shock it
back to sinus rhythm.

1006
00:57:02,282 --> 00:57:03,325
You're gonna be fine.

1007
00:57:04,952 --> 00:57:06,829
There's no God.

1008
00:57:08,330 --> 00:57:09,915
There's nothing.

1009
00:57:14,544 --> 00:57:15,670
How's the tat feeling?

1010
00:57:15,753 --> 00:57:17,714
It's burning.

1011
00:57:17,798 --> 00:57:19,466
Searing, even.

1012
00:57:19,549 --> 00:57:22,344
It looks okay.
Doesn't look infected or anything.

1013
00:57:22,427 --> 00:57:24,596
It must be the irony, then.

1014
00:57:24,679 --> 00:57:26,764
"Trust no bitch."

1015
00:57:26,849 --> 00:57:28,141
I don't get it.

1016
00:57:28,225 --> 00:57:31,353
You and Alex are the only people
who know where that phone is...

1017
00:57:31,979 --> 00:57:32,980
and maybe Flaca,

1018
00:57:33,063 --> 00:57:34,272
but I really don't think so.

1019
00:57:34,356 --> 00:57:36,399
And neither one of them
are getting out in two days.

1020
00:57:38,443 --> 00:57:40,778
You fucked me, Stella.

1021
00:57:40,863 --> 00:57:42,114
I'm panicking, Piper.

1022
00:57:42,197 --> 00:57:44,407
Oh, so you decide to steal from me?

1023
00:57:44,491 --> 00:57:46,869
I have no family, no friends and $20.

1024
00:57:46,952 --> 00:57:48,578
That doesn't even get me
one night in a motel.

1025
00:57:48,661 --> 00:57:49,787
It'll pay for an hour,

1026
00:57:49,872 --> 00:57:52,916
which is plenty of time to use your hot
tits and your pretty, little lying face

1027
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:54,877
to lure in a sucker and rob him blind.

1028
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:57,295
What's going on
with The L Word over there?

1029
00:57:57,379 --> 00:58:00,132
Thunder from Down Under
been necking with somebody else?

1030
00:58:00,215 --> 00:58:03,886
Nah, Chapman's been accusing
people of stealing her money.

1031
00:58:03,969 --> 00:58:05,428
Oh, that bitch guilty.

1032
00:58:05,512 --> 00:58:07,764
-How do you know?
-She desperate.

1033
00:58:07,848 --> 00:58:10,142
I hit her up to see what she was
gonna leave me in her prison will,

1034
00:58:10,225 --> 00:58:12,019
-and she taking everything.
-Ooh.

1035
00:58:12,102 --> 00:58:13,686
She even taking the Maxi Pads.

1036
00:58:13,770 --> 00:58:17,232
Man, Chapman came at me
ready to bash my skull in,

1037
00:58:17,315 --> 00:58:19,484
but she gonna let her off the hook?

1038
00:58:19,567 --> 00:58:21,236
It pays to hump the boss.

1039
00:58:22,112 --> 00:58:25,908
She let you come back and let
the kangaroo rob her blind?

1040
00:58:25,991 --> 00:58:28,201
Girls, this is good news.

1041
00:58:28,285 --> 00:58:30,328
She'll gum you,
but the boss got no teeth.

1042
00:58:30,412 --> 00:58:32,289
I'm gonna ask for more money.

1043
00:58:32,372 --> 00:58:35,458
She gonna donate to the Foster's,
she can donate to Colt 45.

1044
00:58:36,376 --> 00:58:39,504
Or should I be saying
"Manischewitz" now?

1045
00:58:40,505 --> 00:58:44,759
You could have asked me
instead of burgling me.

1046
00:58:44,842 --> 00:58:48,346
I'm asking you now...
to understand.

1047
00:58:48,430 --> 00:58:49,973
Of course I understand.

1048
00:58:50,057 --> 00:58:54,394
Your situation is going to be my situation
in the next six to 12 months,

1049
00:58:54,477 --> 00:58:57,981
which is why I started
Felonious Spunk in the first place.

1050
00:58:58,065 --> 00:58:59,774
To take money from perverts,

1051
00:58:59,857 --> 00:59:01,944
not from people
that I pretend to care about.

1052
00:59:02,027 --> 00:59:04,029
I do care! Don't you?

1053
00:59:05,613 --> 00:59:09,159
I'm going to make this up to you.
I promise.

1054
00:59:17,000 --> 00:59:19,836
And as groom and bride
prepared for this ceremony,

1055
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:23,006
they reflected on what it is
that brought them here today,

1056
00:59:23,090 --> 00:59:26,134
ready to commit their lives
to one another.

1057
00:59:26,218 --> 00:59:28,345
You have your vows, yes?

1058
00:59:28,428 --> 00:59:29,887
Groom goes first.

1059
00:59:32,975 --> 00:59:34,392
"Lorna,

1060
00:59:34,476 --> 00:59:38,063
- I cannot believe we are doing this.

1061
00:59:38,146 --> 00:59:40,315
In fact, I think we might be crazy.

1062
00:59:40,398 --> 00:59:43,401
But we are crazy together.

1063
00:59:43,485 --> 00:59:45,320
We fit, and we match

1064
00:59:45,403 --> 00:59:47,572
and I think you are beautiful...

1065
00:59:48,490 --> 00:59:49,741
and you make me feel tall.

1066
00:59:49,824 --> 00:59:52,369
--And I love your heart."

1067
00:59:52,995 --> 00:59:54,204
You're good, Lorna.

1068
00:59:55,330 --> 00:59:59,376
"I cannot wait to spend every day
that I am allowed to with you,

1069
00:59:59,459 --> 01:00:02,462
and then when you are out,
just every day."

1070
01:00:05,465 --> 01:00:06,758
Vince...

1071
01:00:07,842 --> 01:00:11,013
I'm just so happy and honored

1072
01:00:11,096 --> 01:00:14,307
to be Lorna Muccio.

1073
01:00:14,391 --> 01:00:17,852
And for that,
I thank you very much-io.

1074
01:00:20,147 --> 01:00:22,815
I'm not a great writer like you, so...

1075
01:00:22,899 --> 01:00:25,027
I have a poem to read.

1076
01:00:27,112 --> 01:00:31,116
"In my life,
there's been heartache and pain.

1077
01:00:31,199 --> 01:00:34,452
I don't know if I can face it again.

1078
01:00:35,287 --> 01:00:38,165
Can't stop now,

1079
01:00:38,248 --> 01:00:40,333
I've traveled so far

1080
01:00:40,417 --> 01:00:43,545
to change this lonely life.

1081
01:00:45,922 --> 01:00:49,009
I want to know what love is.

1082
01:00:50,302 --> 01:00:53,096
I want you to show me.

1083
01:00:54,014 --> 01:00:56,558
I want to feel what love is.

1084
01:00:57,767 --> 01:00:59,227
I know you can show me."

1085
01:01:00,395 --> 01:01:02,480
Foreigner, my favorite band.

1086
01:01:02,564 --> 01:01:03,940
I knew it!

1087
01:01:04,941 --> 01:01:07,235
-Beautiful.
-Yeah.

1088
01:01:07,319 --> 01:01:08,861
And now the rings.

1089
01:01:09,612 --> 01:01:10,613
Vince,

1090
01:01:10,697 --> 01:01:14,034
place your ring on Lorna's finger
and repeat after me.

1091
01:01:14,117 --> 01:01:15,160
Oh.

1092
01:01:15,243 --> 01:01:18,663
"Through this ring, I, Vincent Muccio,

1093
01:01:18,746 --> 01:01:23,835
accept you, Lorna Morello,
as my wife, now and for all time."

1094
01:01:23,918 --> 01:01:25,878
Through this ring,

1095
01:01:25,962 --> 01:01:27,630
I, Vincent Muccio,

1096
01:01:27,714 --> 01:01:30,550
accept you, Lorna Morello,
as my wife,

1097
01:01:30,633 --> 01:01:33,178
now and for all time.

1098
01:01:35,513 --> 01:01:37,724
And now, Lorna,
place your ring on Vincent's finger.

1099
01:01:37,807 --> 01:01:41,018
This is so beautiful.
This is why I don't wanna elope.

1100
01:01:41,103 --> 01:01:44,064
I can't cry like this
in front of my mother.

1101
01:01:45,815 --> 01:01:48,193
Oh, shit, I missed
her putting on the ring.

1102
01:01:48,276 --> 01:01:49,861
Get the kiss, you big galoot.

1103
01:01:49,944 --> 01:01:51,654
Through this ring,

1104
01:01:51,738 --> 01:01:54,031
I, Lorna Morello,

1105
01:01:54,116 --> 01:01:57,827
accept you, Vincent Muccio,

1106
01:01:57,910 --> 01:02:02,332
as my husband, now and forever.

1107
01:02:03,833 --> 01:02:05,085
Now, normally, at this point,

1108
01:02:05,168 --> 01:02:07,212
I would have you both
light the unity candle,

1109
01:02:07,295 --> 01:02:10,632
but prison restrictions
on open flames won't allow it.

1110
01:02:10,715 --> 01:02:12,759
Plus, our bride is wearing paper.

1111
01:02:12,842 --> 01:02:15,345
So instead, I will urge you

1112
01:02:15,428 --> 01:02:17,597
to gaze into each other's eyes

1113
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:20,016
and light the fire within.

1114
01:02:21,101 --> 01:02:22,227
As you do...

1115
01:02:23,019 --> 01:02:26,939
by the power vested in me
by the state of New York,

1116
01:02:27,023 --> 01:02:31,027
I now pronounce you husband and wife.

1117
01:02:31,111 --> 01:02:32,862
You may kiss the bride!

1118
01:02:32,945 --> 01:02:34,156
Oh, my goodness!

1119
01:02:41,496 --> 01:02:44,332
Ah, they make a beautiful couple,
absolutely beautiful.

1120
01:02:51,088 --> 01:02:54,176
Okay, you two can spend
an hour in here together.

1121
01:02:54,259 --> 01:02:55,385
Bell will stay with you.

1122
01:02:55,468 --> 01:02:56,469
Uh, here?

1123
01:02:57,053 --> 01:02:59,806
You don't have a trailer or somethin'
a little more private, alone?

1124
01:02:59,889 --> 01:03:02,099
There's no conjugal visits in Federal.

1125
01:03:02,975 --> 01:03:04,101
I'm sorry.

1126
01:03:08,105 --> 01:03:10,775
-Yes! Husband, yes!
-Yeah!

1127
01:03:10,858 --> 01:03:12,819
- Fuck yeah, wife!

1128
01:03:12,902 --> 01:03:15,405
Consummate this marriage!

1129
01:03:15,488 --> 01:03:17,865
Consummating the shit
out of you, babe!

1130
01:03:21,953 --> 01:03:23,996
--Yeah, yeah.

1131
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:25,081
Young love...

1132
01:03:25,165 --> 01:03:28,210
they have no idea what they're in for.

1133
01:03:28,293 --> 01:03:29,836
It doesn't always end badly.

1134
01:03:29,919 --> 01:03:32,672
Oh, said the man whose wife
sleeps in her mother's bed

1135
01:03:32,755 --> 01:03:37,760
to the prisoner whose brand-new divorce
certificate is her most prized possession.

1136
01:03:37,844 --> 01:03:40,472
You gotta believe in something.
Why not love?

1137
01:03:40,555 --> 01:03:43,475
Because "happily ever after"
was invented for the storybooks,

1138
01:03:43,558 --> 01:03:46,978
so kids reach breeding age
without killing themselves.

1139
01:03:47,061 --> 01:03:51,191
So, love is the lie we tell ourselves
so we don't go extinct?

1140
01:03:51,274 --> 01:03:53,610
That's pretty bleak, Red,
even for you.

1141
01:03:53,693 --> 01:03:56,946
Oh, and you caught me
on a glass-half-full day.

1142
01:03:57,029 --> 01:03:58,740
So, you don't think

1143
01:03:58,823 --> 01:04:02,034
there's someone out there
you're meant to be with?

1144
01:04:03,870 --> 01:04:05,288
Of course I do.

1145
01:04:06,581 --> 01:04:08,165
Everybody has a soul mate.

1146
01:04:08,250 --> 01:04:11,836
But they're usually on the other side
of the bars, or the wall,

1147
01:04:11,919 --> 01:04:14,130
or the planet from you.

1148
01:04:15,340 --> 01:04:17,091
That's the way the universe works.

1149
01:04:17,174 --> 01:04:19,677
You're not gonna be in prison forever.

1150
01:04:21,471 --> 01:04:23,223
You got a future to think about.

1151
01:04:24,432 --> 01:04:26,559
Our ships passed too late in the night

1152
01:04:26,643 --> 01:04:29,854
for one of them to change course, Sam.

1153
01:04:49,291 --> 01:04:50,625
Father!

1154
01:04:51,918 --> 01:04:54,254
Father!

1155
01:04:54,337 --> 01:04:56,464
Father!

1156
01:05:01,469 --> 01:05:04,431
God, please help my mother.

1157
01:05:09,811 --> 01:05:11,103
Father?

1158
01:05:11,187 --> 01:05:12,772
My mom is sick again.

1159
01:05:15,275 --> 01:05:16,276
Jesus?

1160
01:05:19,321 --> 01:05:20,363
Ahh!

1161
01:05:20,447 --> 01:05:24,284
Help me, please!
Somebody, please! He smells!

1162
01:05:24,367 --> 01:05:28,996
Oh, gross! Get the fuck off of me!

1163
01:05:36,504 --> 01:05:39,882
I've rewritten this at least ten times.

1164
01:05:42,969 --> 01:05:44,804
I don't know what to say.

1165
01:05:51,353 --> 01:05:53,104
I feel like you're saving my life.

1166
01:05:55,857 --> 01:05:57,274
I came to say goodbye.

1167
01:05:58,192 --> 01:06:00,778
Well, I still have a few more days.

1168
01:06:02,279 --> 01:06:03,698
Clear the bunk.

1169
01:06:09,912 --> 01:06:10,997
Not you.

1170
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:12,540
We have reports of contraband.

1171
01:06:12,624 --> 01:06:14,291
I haven't got anything.
I'm getting out in two days.

1172
01:06:14,376 --> 01:06:15,877
Well, hopefully
you've given everything away, then.

1173
01:06:15,960 --> 01:06:17,044
Well...

1174
01:06:24,135 --> 01:06:26,012
-Found a lighter.
-That's not mine.

1175
01:06:28,348 --> 01:06:29,932
Marijuana cigarettes?

1176
01:06:30,016 --> 01:06:31,684
Wait, wait...

1177
01:06:31,768 --> 01:06:33,811
Cigarette cigarettes.

1178
01:06:33,895 --> 01:06:35,480
This isn't even my stuff.

1179
01:06:35,563 --> 01:06:37,231
It can't be!

1180
01:06:38,232 --> 01:06:39,275
Ugh!

1181
01:06:39,359 --> 01:06:41,152
Where'd you get
illegal chicken from, inmate?

1182
01:06:41,235 --> 01:06:42,236
What?

1183
01:06:43,154 --> 01:06:46,282
Bayley,
check out this candy shiv.

1184
01:06:46,366 --> 01:06:47,659
How cool is that?

1185
01:06:49,285 --> 01:06:51,120
I mean...

1186
01:06:51,203 --> 01:06:53,247
this is a deadly weapon.

1187
01:06:53,330 --> 01:06:55,500
You are so going to Max, inmate.

1188
01:07:15,437 --> 01:07:17,354
Sorry about your dildo, Boo.

1189
01:07:17,439 --> 01:07:21,693
Cost of doing business.
I'll make it up to you.

1190
01:07:21,776 --> 01:07:25,196
Damn, Chapman.
That is some stone-cold shit.

1191
01:07:25,279 --> 01:07:29,075
I don't fuck around.
Let the people know.

1192
01:07:32,454 --> 01:07:36,082
I'm hoping this voluntary
organizing meeting is, uh, code for

1193
01:07:36,165 --> 01:07:38,042
"our union petition has been accepted."

1194
01:07:38,125 --> 01:07:41,838
Maybe he just wants us to pull together
our official list of demands.

1195
01:07:41,921 --> 01:07:44,799
I think the prison should issue us
socks and underwear,

1196
01:07:44,882 --> 01:07:45,883
not just outerwear.

1197
01:07:45,967 --> 01:07:47,969
I want them to pay my college loans.

1198
01:07:48,052 --> 01:07:49,386
You went to college,
and you're working here?

1199
01:07:49,471 --> 01:07:52,974
Associate's degree, Justice Admin, DeVry.

1200
01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:56,185
Here he is, the white Cesar Chavez.

1201
01:07:56,268 --> 01:08:00,565
Today, as you know, is a very big day.
So, let's make this quick.

1202
01:08:00,648 --> 01:08:03,443
We hear Pearson's out.
Are you next? Are they union-busting?

1203
01:08:03,526 --> 01:08:06,320
Or did our petition go through
and he got canned for not stopping it?

1204
01:08:06,403 --> 01:08:07,739
Pearson quit.

1205
01:08:08,656 --> 01:08:10,742
There's a new Director of Human Activity.

1206
01:08:13,369 --> 01:08:14,454
It's you, isn't it?

1207
01:08:15,622 --> 01:08:17,206
Everyone has the right to unionize.

1208
01:08:17,289 --> 01:08:18,916
Shit. Motherfucking shit.

1209
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:21,461
But I have access to budgets now.

1210
01:08:21,544 --> 01:08:25,923
And all that noise about
the whole shebang coming crashing down

1211
01:08:26,007 --> 01:08:28,134
if MCC starts covering benefits,

1212
01:08:28,217 --> 01:08:29,886
it is 100% true.

1213
01:08:29,969 --> 01:08:31,888
They must have given you
a pretty good pay raise.

1214
01:08:31,971 --> 01:08:33,890
Yeah, like 30 pieces of silver.

1215
01:08:35,558 --> 01:08:37,268
I have done nothing...

1216
01:08:38,185 --> 01:08:41,898
but save your asses
since this prison was scheduled to close.

1217
01:08:43,149 --> 01:08:45,401
You're goddamn right.

1218
01:08:45,485 --> 01:08:47,236
It was a pretty good pay raise.

1219
01:08:47,319 --> 01:08:51,240
And any one of you ungrateful,
selfish sons of bitches

1220
01:08:51,323 --> 01:08:55,202
would have thrown me under the bus
and run me over to get the same.

1221
01:08:55,286 --> 01:08:57,872
Well, guess what?
It's my turn.

1222
01:08:58,790 --> 01:08:59,874
It's the year of Caputo.

1223
01:08:59,957 --> 01:09:02,960
You know,
we had a union captain once

1224
01:09:03,044 --> 01:09:07,339
who told us that the corporation
would call an optional meeting

1225
01:09:07,423 --> 01:09:09,759
and then try to scare us
out of unionizing.

1226
01:09:09,842 --> 01:09:10,885
I remember that.

1227
01:09:10,968 --> 01:09:13,262
He said, "When they did that,
we should say,"

1228
01:09:13,345 --> 01:09:15,557
and I am paraphrasing...

1229
01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:16,641
"Fuck you!"

1230
01:09:16,724 --> 01:09:18,392
That's right, because he said,

1231
01:09:18,475 --> 01:09:20,853
"The company needs you
more than you need them."

1232
01:09:20,937 --> 01:09:23,147
Now I've seen things from the inside,

1233
01:09:23,815 --> 01:09:24,899
and I stand corrected.

1234
01:09:24,982 --> 01:09:26,568
You're all replaceable.

1235
01:09:27,234 --> 01:09:28,485
Not today, we're not.

1236
01:09:29,153 --> 01:09:31,739
I'd say today of all days,

1237
01:09:31,823 --> 01:09:35,117
the company still needs us
pretty damn bad.

1238
01:09:35,201 --> 01:09:39,038
Yeah, I'm gonna go
with my old captain on this one.

1239
01:09:41,248 --> 01:09:42,291
Fuck you.

1240
01:09:48,297 --> 01:09:50,174
It ain't right, Mr. Caputo.

1241
01:09:52,927 --> 01:09:54,511
It ain't right.

1242
01:10:15,324 --> 01:10:17,409
Good luck letting the monkeys run the zoo.

1243
01:10:28,045 --> 01:10:31,799
All right, all tools are present
and accounted for.

1244
01:10:36,512 --> 01:10:39,515
All good.
Thanks, ladies.

1245
01:10:39,599 --> 01:10:42,309
Oh, wait, wait. Hold up.
Someone needs to sweep.

1246
01:10:43,227 --> 01:10:45,062
- Not me.
- No way.

1247
01:10:45,146 --> 01:10:48,357
Fine. I'll do it.
But you guys owe me.

1248
01:10:49,066 --> 01:10:50,067
Okay.

1249
01:10:50,151 --> 01:10:51,568
Thank you, Vause.
I'm gonna walk them over.

1250
01:10:51,653 --> 01:10:54,739
Yeah, yeah, I'll just be here,
sweeping like Cinderella.

1251
01:11:05,082 --> 01:11:06,793
Well, that was quick.

1252
01:11:10,713 --> 01:11:11,714
Aydin.

1253
01:11:12,715 --> 01:11:13,758
How--

1254
01:11:13,841 --> 01:11:16,302
This place would hire
Forrest fucking Gump.

1255
01:11:16,385 --> 01:11:17,720
The guy who interviewed me
was so relieved

1256
01:11:17,804 --> 01:11:20,514
to find someone
who's actually qualified.

1257
01:11:22,892 --> 01:11:24,811
You don't have to do this.

1258
01:11:25,602 --> 01:11:27,188
Yeah, I do.

1259
01:12:46,183 --> 01:12:49,645
Hey, uh, there's no inmates in the dorms
while the bunks are being installed.

1260
01:12:49,729 --> 01:12:51,230
She needs to sit down.

1261
01:12:51,313 --> 01:12:52,982
I'm sorry. Rules is rules.

1262
01:12:54,441 --> 01:12:55,943
- This one.

1263
01:12:57,153 --> 01:12:58,946
At least
we're getting new beds.

1264
01:12:59,030 --> 01:13:00,865
I'm a little good at a lot of things

1265
01:13:00,948 --> 01:13:02,449
and I'm helping New Yorkers

1266
01:13:02,533 --> 01:13:04,201
- one thing at a time.

1267
01:13:10,958 --> 01:13:12,668
-Who are you?
-Is Cesar home?

1268
01:13:13,252 --> 01:13:16,005
Cesar? Some white guy!

1269
01:13:16,088 --> 01:13:18,715
Okay, it's okay.

1270
01:13:20,509 --> 01:13:21,718
Yo, what's up, man?
Who are you?

1271
01:13:21,803 --> 01:13:22,970
Uh, Cesar Velazquez?

1272
01:13:24,013 --> 01:13:25,306
- Fuck.

1273
01:13:25,389 --> 01:13:27,433
Get back in the room!
Go back in the room!

1274
01:13:27,516 --> 01:13:28,851
What do you mean
get back in the room?

1275
01:13:28,935 --> 01:13:30,269
Cesar, we have a warrant!

1276
01:13:31,603 --> 01:13:33,147
DEA!

1277
01:13:35,107 --> 01:13:36,275
Come on!

1278
01:13:37,318 --> 01:13:38,402
- Please don't take my baby!
- Move in!

1279
01:13:38,485 --> 01:13:39,486
Hands up! Don't move!

1280
01:13:39,570 --> 01:13:40,737
Get back in the room!
Get back in your...

1281
01:13:40,822 --> 01:13:42,739
- Cesar! Cesar! No!
- It's okay.

1282
01:13:43,449 --> 01:13:45,659
Yo, get your filthy
fucking hands off my baby!

1283
01:13:46,410 --> 01:13:47,912
You two, with me! Let's go!

1284
01:13:51,665 --> 01:13:53,417
He's over there!

1285
01:13:53,500 --> 01:13:55,336
Get your hands off my daughter,
you stupid motherfucker!

1286
01:13:55,419 --> 01:13:57,213
Get him down on the ground!

1287
01:13:57,296 --> 01:13:59,465
Get your hands
off my fucking daughter!

1288
01:13:59,548 --> 01:14:00,967
-Motherfucker!
-Daddy!

1289
01:14:01,050 --> 01:14:03,010
Get your hands off my daughter,
motherfucker!

1290
01:14:03,094 --> 01:14:04,095
Come here, come here!

1291
01:14:04,178 --> 01:14:06,722
Let go of my daughter!
I swear, the...

1292
01:14:06,806 --> 01:14:08,933
Jesus, looks like
heroin Romper Room in here.

1293
01:14:09,016 --> 01:14:12,144
- Let's go, let's go!
- Get Child Services down here, now.

1294
01:14:12,228 --> 01:14:14,146
And, Donna, get the baby out.

1295
01:14:15,647 --> 01:14:18,025
What are you doin'? No, no.

1296
01:14:19,944 --> 01:14:22,779
Let go of my baby.
Let go of my baby, you mother...

1297
01:14:25,032 --> 01:14:27,159
Get off...

1298
01:14:27,243 --> 01:14:28,244
Daddy!

1299
01:14:28,327 --> 01:14:30,621
Christina!
Take care of Daya's baby!

1300
01:14:30,704 --> 01:14:31,831
Let go of me.

1301
01:14:33,040 --> 01:14:34,333
Get off my girl!

1302
01:14:34,416 --> 01:14:36,502
Get off my girl, motherfucker!

1303
01:14:47,679 --> 01:14:49,598
Cliché, my ass.

1304
01:14:50,432 --> 01:14:53,102
It's... It's fucking awesome.

1305
01:15:14,456 --> 01:15:15,832
Hello?

1306
01:15:18,835 --> 01:15:19,836
Hello?

1307
01:15:19,921 --> 01:15:22,089
Judy King is here.

1308
01:15:22,173 --> 01:15:23,340
Anyone?

1309
01:15:28,012 --> 01:15:30,306
We're here to self-surrender!

1310
01:15:31,098 --> 01:15:32,141
Anyone?

1311
01:15:32,224 --> 01:15:33,850
Well, fuck a duck.

1312
01:15:33,935 --> 01:15:36,520
Already this place is a goddamn joke.

1313
01:15:37,146 --> 01:15:39,023
I told you we should've
stuck with Alderson,

1314
01:15:39,106 --> 01:15:42,859
but no, no, you gotta drag my ass
all the way to upstate Jew York.

1315
01:15:43,569 --> 01:15:46,322
I should kick your balls
into your sternum.

1316
01:15:53,913 --> 01:15:56,707
Well, did we or did we not call ahead?

1317
01:15:56,790 --> 01:15:58,084
I mean, this is just...

1318
01:15:59,543 --> 01:16:00,836
rude.

1319
01:16:02,088 --> 01:16:03,339
Oh, God.

1320
01:17:10,947 --> 01:17:13,242
Hey, where's Norma Christ going?

1321
01:17:13,325 --> 01:17:15,744
-Holy...
-Shit!

1322
01:17:16,912 --> 01:17:19,290
-Where the guards at?
-I feel like this is one of those things,

1323
01:17:19,373 --> 01:17:21,167
like when all the dogs
and the horses disappear

1324
01:17:21,250 --> 01:17:23,752
before there's an earthquake
or a tidal wave or something.

1325
01:17:23,835 --> 01:17:25,671
-I'm going.
-You crazy.

1326
01:17:25,754 --> 01:17:28,340
They're the ones who took the fence down.
Maybe they're expanding the yard.

1327
01:17:28,424 --> 01:17:30,509
Are we supposed to know any better?

1328
01:17:32,886 --> 01:17:34,055
She got a good point.

1329
01:17:34,138 --> 01:17:35,764
--The fuck?

1330
01:17:39,226 --> 01:17:40,811
Oh, shit.

1331
01:17:56,285 --> 01:17:57,494
What's even over there?

1332
01:17:57,578 --> 01:17:59,913
A bunch of bitches going to Seg.

1333
01:17:59,996 --> 01:18:04,835
Nah, nah! It's the lake!
It's not escapable or nothin'.

1334
01:18:04,918 --> 01:18:06,628
It's a miracle.

1335
01:18:19,141 --> 01:18:21,393
-Come on, yo!
-Oh, man, you too?

1336
01:18:21,477 --> 01:18:22,644
-What?
-Even if we don't get busted,

1337
01:18:22,728 --> 01:18:24,355
you ain't worried about eels or some shit?

1338
01:18:24,438 --> 01:18:26,357
There ain't no eels
in the freedom lake, man.

1339
01:18:26,440 --> 01:18:27,733
Stop being such a stereotype.

1340
01:18:27,816 --> 01:18:30,236
One of them black bitches
gonna get they shit drowned,

1341
01:18:30,319 --> 01:18:31,862
and I ain't gonna be responsible.

1342
01:18:32,363 --> 01:18:33,364
Look.

1343
01:18:36,450 --> 01:18:39,536
Let's just be free for a second.

1344
01:18:40,871 --> 01:18:43,290
It's gonna be the last time
in a long time.

1345
01:18:48,879 --> 01:18:50,339
Jesus!

1346
01:18:55,010 --> 01:18:56,137
Nope.

1347
01:18:57,763 --> 01:18:59,973
Hey, y'all seen Ginsberg?

1348
01:19:00,056 --> 01:19:01,892
But now's my chance
for some new-Jew juju!

1349
01:19:01,975 --> 01:19:04,353
-I don't follow you.
-That lake's my mikvah!

1350
01:19:04,436 --> 01:19:07,189
Isn't that her crashing
through the underbrush?

1351
01:19:07,273 --> 01:19:09,733
Oh, Ginsberg! Ginsberg!

1352
01:19:09,816 --> 01:19:12,319
--You know...

1353
01:19:12,403 --> 01:19:17,032
I think I could stand
a little sand between my toes, too.

1354
01:19:19,618 --> 01:19:20,827
Let's do it.

1355
01:19:22,954 --> 01:19:27,459
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Hey! Hey! No, no. Okay.

1356
01:19:27,543 --> 01:19:29,503
Uh, stop! Hey, hey!

1357
01:19:29,586 --> 01:19:30,962
- Hey! Stop it!
- Boo!

1358
01:19:32,173 --> 01:19:35,842
Come on. Why now? Why now?
Somebody, please!

1359
01:19:52,776 --> 01:19:53,777
Hallelujah!

1360
01:20:04,163 --> 01:20:05,331
Yo...

1361
01:20:08,417 --> 01:20:09,418
Crazy?

1362
01:20:09,501 --> 01:20:11,086
-Do you see her?
-Yo!

1363
01:20:30,189 --> 01:20:32,649
Wow.

1364
01:21:21,865 --> 01:21:24,493
- You're going down.

1365
01:21:33,669 --> 01:21:35,045
Go! Go! Charge her!

1366
01:21:37,298 --> 01:21:39,132
No!
You can't stop the Boo-satucky!

1367
01:21:39,215 --> 01:21:41,677
- No! No!

1368
01:22:15,210 --> 01:22:16,211
Oh!

1369
01:22:16,337 --> 01:22:17,963
No, oh.

1370
01:24:14,413 --> 01:24:15,497
Whoo!

1371
01:24:15,581 --> 01:24:19,543
Taystee, come on in!
The water's fine!

1372
01:24:19,626 --> 01:24:22,087
-Come on in, girl!
-Okay! Okay! I'm in!

1373
01:24:22,838 --> 01:24:25,381
Whoo!

1374
01:25:16,725 --> 01:25:19,060
- Mazel tov.

1375
01:25:31,072 --> 01:25:32,574
Oh. Oh, no.

1376
01:25:47,380 --> 01:25:49,132
Oh!