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Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
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Nah.
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Don't get up. I'm all good, thanks.
19
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Yo.
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All right, all right. Arms
and the Man by Bernard Shaw.
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You read that one before?
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Mmm-mmm.
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After a horrifying sawing
accident leaves him armless,
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the man sets out on a
journey of self-discovery,
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realizing that legs can do
everything that arms can!
26
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Is this what you do all day?
27
00:01:38,584 --> 00:01:41,462
Well, I mean, I got a
nap scheduled later, too.
28
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It probably means
"arms" as in "weapons."
29
00:01:44,090 --> 00:01:45,383
Oh.
30
00:01:45,466 --> 00:01:47,468
Yo, it could be both. You know?
31
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Like, dude ain't got no arms,
32
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he gotta figure out how to
hold his weapon with his feet.
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Like, "Freeze, bitch!"
34
00:01:54,267 --> 00:01:56,645
Ain't you got anything
better to do with yourself?
35
00:01:58,229 --> 00:02:00,982
Did you not hear about
that nap situation?
36
00:02:01,066 --> 00:02:06,822
Man, you fuckin' lucky
'cause maintenance sucks, yo.
37
00:02:06,905 --> 00:02:12,410
You should see what piles up
in the corners of the showers.
38
00:02:12,493 --> 00:02:16,289
Little pube-tropolis of buildings and shit
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00:02:16,372 --> 00:02:20,043
for spiders and bacteria
living their lives, growing...
40
00:02:20,126 --> 00:02:21,544
Well, see, you went urban, right?
41
00:02:21,627 --> 00:02:26,174
I would've said a hair jungle, right?
Spiders be jumpin' from pube to pube.
42
00:02:26,257 --> 00:02:30,553
Bacteria's all like, "Fuck. It
rains a lot in here. Get off me."
43
00:02:30,636 --> 00:02:33,181
Did you hear about the new job crew?
44
00:02:33,264 --> 00:02:35,934
Supposed to pay a buck an hour.
45
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A buck an hour?
46
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Shit, whatever that is, it's
probably way worse than pube town.
47
00:02:40,105 --> 00:02:41,815
Oh, it's a pube town now?
48
00:02:41,898 --> 00:02:45,276
Man, this place ain't fool you
enough with that job fair bullshit?
49
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,946
Um, excuse me, pause.
50
00:02:48,029 --> 00:02:54,285
I got two Cherry Pepsis off of
that mug, plus, bragging rights.
51
00:02:54,369 --> 00:02:58,870
Yo, fuck that, man. My
job is the shit, you know?
52
00:02:58,872 --> 00:03:02,293
I mean, worth way
more than buck an hour.
53
00:03:02,377 --> 00:03:05,339
You cannot put a price on Entspannung.
54
00:03:05,737 --> 00:03:06,923
That's "relaxation."
55
00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:10,802
Case in point, I'ma go
take me a dip in the honey jar.
56
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:14,806
Um, it's 8:00 in the
morning. You drinking already?
57
00:03:16,016 --> 00:03:18,643
It's always 5:00 in prison.
58
00:03:27,193 --> 00:03:29,738
Oh...
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00:03:29,821 --> 00:03:31,489
What the fuck?
60
00:03:38,371 --> 00:03:39,998
What's up?
61
00:03:40,081 --> 00:03:41,166
Yo!
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00:03:42,417 --> 00:03:44,294
My honey's been jacked.
63
00:03:44,377 --> 00:03:47,297
Winnie the Pooh: Tales from the Ghetto.
64
00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:51,760
- Man, these were full yesterday.
- Maybe some animal got to 'em.
65
00:03:51,843 --> 00:03:53,636
You're forgetting we living
with a bunch of thieves.
66
00:03:53,719 --> 00:03:54,805
Man.
67
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:57,237
Hey, boss?
68
00:03:58,016 --> 00:04:01,394
I still haven't heard anything from
these corporate guys about our benefits.
69
00:04:01,477 --> 00:04:05,315
And I finally got my prescriptions set
up online, you know, with our old plan.
70
00:04:05,398 --> 00:04:08,401
Had to pay my niece 50 bucks
to help me figure it out.
71
00:04:08,484 --> 00:04:11,571
Please, please tell me there
aren't gonna be any changes.
72
00:04:11,654 --> 00:04:13,073
I haven't heard.
73
00:04:13,824 --> 00:04:17,243
C-Dorm got their new
mattresses this morning.
74
00:04:17,327 --> 00:04:19,745
Plus, stall doors on all the bathrooms.
75
00:04:20,831 --> 00:04:25,460
Smoke and mirrors. I know
it, and I don't trust it.
76
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:33,593
Did you two walk through the door
into a paying job this morning?
77
00:04:34,510 --> 00:04:35,720
Uh-huh.
78
00:04:36,762 --> 00:04:37,931
You're welcome.
79
00:04:43,436 --> 00:04:46,731
- Is everything all right?
- I needed to cool off.
80
00:04:46,815 --> 00:04:48,859
I'm sweating in places I
didn't even know that sweated.
81
00:04:48,942 --> 00:04:51,361
Well, stick an ice cube in
your bra and get back to work.
82
00:04:51,444 --> 00:04:53,864
I gotta get these inventory
numbers to the new guys by 3:00.
83
00:04:53,947 --> 00:04:55,781
Where's Norma? I
thought she was helping.
84
00:04:57,033 --> 00:05:00,245
_
85
00:05:00,328 --> 00:05:01,579
_
86
00:05:01,662 --> 00:05:03,414
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87
00:05:03,498 --> 00:05:07,276
_
88
00:05:07,278 --> 00:05:09,963
I wouldn't
mind handling a big hose.
89
00:05:10,046 --> 00:05:12,090
I hear they're setting up a call center.
90
00:05:12,173 --> 00:05:13,633
Uh?
91
00:05:13,716 --> 00:05:17,428
With my sexy voice, I'll
be making mad commissions.
92
00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:18,554
Commissions? Right.
93
00:05:18,638 --> 00:05:21,307
You get 10% of nothing on
every nothing you nothing.
94
00:05:21,391 --> 00:05:25,228
Look, nobody here is applying
to the new job, comprende?
95
00:05:26,557 --> 00:05:28,517
We got a good thing going here.
96
00:05:31,889 --> 00:05:35,530
Norma! One potato, two
potato! Start counting!
97
00:05:35,613 --> 00:05:37,532
And the rest of you,
start slicing carrots.
98
00:05:37,615 --> 00:05:40,994
And be grateful that you're
not scrubbing toilets no more.
99
00:05:42,745 --> 00:05:44,414
What you got there?
100
00:05:46,374 --> 00:05:49,763
Oh, you busting out on
your own now? No? Right.
101
00:05:50,201 --> 00:05:53,631
Go count that with the others. Vamos!
102
00:05:53,714 --> 00:05:55,341
I need numbers!
103
00:05:56,592 --> 00:05:59,470
What if it turns out to be, like,
picking up trash on the side of the road?
104
00:05:59,554 --> 00:06:01,097
They don't pay that much for dummy work.
105
00:06:01,181 --> 00:06:04,976
Nah, whatever it is, it's
gonna take skills and smarts.
106
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,686
Yeah, what're you gonna wow them with?
107
00:06:06,769 --> 00:06:08,271
Your eyeliner skills,
108
00:06:08,354 --> 00:06:12,275
or your smarts about how many words
rhyme with bleak in emo songs?
109
00:06:12,358 --> 00:06:15,695
Fuck you and your stupid sad face.
We didn't take your baby away, okay?
110
00:06:15,778 --> 00:06:17,488
Yeah? You should shut up about
shit you don't know about.
111
00:06:17,572 --> 00:06:18,656
- You should shut up, you know.
- Hey!
112
00:06:18,739 --> 00:06:19,782
At least I got ambition.
113
00:06:19,865 --> 00:06:20,866
_
114
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115
00:06:23,036 --> 00:06:24,245
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116
00:06:24,329 --> 00:06:25,330
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117
00:06:25,413 --> 00:06:27,123
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118
00:06:27,207 --> 00:06:29,375
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119
00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:31,502
Whoa!
120
00:06:33,629 --> 00:06:35,506
You, go scrub some pans.
121
00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:38,969
- What? Gross. She started this shit!
- Now!
122
00:06:40,470 --> 00:06:42,722
I'm so done with this
depressing-ass place.
123
00:06:42,805 --> 00:06:45,933
_
124
00:06:46,017 --> 00:06:49,562
I just
really miss you. I'm so jealous.
125
00:06:49,645 --> 00:06:52,357
Oh, baby, it's work.
And it's fuckin' Kesha.
126
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,275
You're not missing anything. Seriously.
127
00:06:54,359 --> 00:06:58,071
When you gonna let me sell
with you? Or sell my own stuff?
128
00:06:58,154 --> 00:07:02,533
My phone bill is, like, crazy every
month. Just give me a little something.
129
00:07:02,617 --> 00:07:05,120
The kids at my school
are, like, dying for it.
130
00:07:05,203 --> 00:07:07,372
If you need money for
your phone bill, I got you.
131
00:07:07,952 --> 00:07:09,582
I wanna make my own money.
132
00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:12,127
So, I can buy you a present.
133
00:07:12,835 --> 00:07:14,504
You're my present, baby.
134
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:17,257
_
135
00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:19,592
_
136
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,096
I gotta go, baby.
137
00:07:23,179 --> 00:07:25,098
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
138
00:07:25,931 --> 00:07:27,892
_
139
00:07:27,976 --> 00:07:29,852
_
140
00:07:33,023 --> 00:07:34,774
_
141
00:07:34,857 --> 00:07:37,527
_
142
00:07:37,610 --> 00:07:40,571
_
143
00:07:40,655 --> 00:07:42,198
_
144
00:07:42,282 --> 00:07:43,699
_
145
00:07:43,783 --> 00:07:47,120
_
146
00:07:47,203 --> 00:07:49,247
_
147
00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:50,956
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148
00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:53,168
_
149
00:07:53,251 --> 00:07:56,087
_
150
00:07:56,796 --> 00:07:58,714
_
151
00:07:58,798 --> 00:08:01,051
_
152
00:08:01,134 --> 00:08:04,845
_
153
00:08:04,929 --> 00:08:07,682
This is for
a wedding? It's got no back.
154
00:08:09,809 --> 00:08:12,437
It's Emma Stone's Golden
Globe dress. The peach one.
155
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,855
But Mrs. Ramirez is, like, 57.
156
00:08:14,939 --> 00:08:16,649
She's still got a nice back.
157
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:20,361
It looks really good.
158
00:08:21,737 --> 00:08:23,698
I know. I do good work.
159
00:08:24,350 --> 00:08:25,616
But even if I didn't...
160
00:08:26,992 --> 00:08:29,495
I'm gonna sew a Calvin
Klein label on it.
161
00:08:29,579 --> 00:08:32,373
So now you're Theresa
Gonzales for Calvin Klein.
162
00:08:32,375 --> 00:08:36,087
Hey, more often than not, people
believe what you tell them.
163
00:08:43,384 --> 00:08:47,638
What's all this... scuttlebutt
with the new job assignment?
164
00:08:47,722 --> 00:08:49,099
Scuttlebutt?
165
00:08:49,182 --> 00:08:53,394
The gossip, the lowdown, the 411.
166
00:08:53,478 --> 00:08:54,520
Oh.
167
00:08:55,438 --> 00:08:59,525
Someone said it was a party planning
job. I stopped listening after that.
168
00:09:00,401 --> 00:09:04,155
Electrical sucks without
Nicky's running commentary.
169
00:09:04,989 --> 00:09:08,451
I wouldn't mind a new job assignment.
170
00:09:10,203 --> 00:09:13,081
- Is my look off-putting?
- Off-putting?
171
00:09:14,165 --> 00:09:18,253
Harsh, scary... not pleasing.
172
00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:30,431
There is a certain... hardness...
173
00:09:30,515 --> 00:09:34,310
to your overall... thing.
174
00:09:35,936 --> 00:09:39,905
Listen to you, being
frank and honest. Good.
175
00:09:40,691 --> 00:09:42,902
Now, tell me how to soften things.
176
00:09:42,985 --> 00:09:45,381
I thought that you
and Dmitri were kaput.
177
00:09:45,383 --> 00:09:47,552
That was not an invitation
to pry into my life.
178
00:09:47,865 --> 00:09:50,368
A little beauty advice is all I'm after.
179
00:09:50,873 --> 00:09:53,037
Beauty comes from the inside.
180
00:09:53,295 --> 00:09:54,164
Hmm.
181
00:09:54,747 --> 00:10:00,211
However... smudging the
corner of your eyeliner,
182
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:03,214
not spiking your hair,
183
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:07,092
and a lighter lip couldn't hurt.
184
00:10:07,177 --> 00:10:08,386
Um...
185
00:10:08,469 --> 00:10:09,637
Ha!
186
00:10:19,897 --> 00:10:20,898
Hey, Pearson.
187
00:10:20,981 --> 00:10:24,652
Morning. You know, Danny's fine.
188
00:10:27,655 --> 00:10:30,325
Oh, well, we mostly use
last names around here.
189
00:10:30,408 --> 00:10:33,328
Cool, cool. Yeah, whatever
you think makes sense.
190
00:10:36,372 --> 00:10:37,707
You need to go?
191
00:10:38,833 --> 00:10:40,501
Oh, no. No, uh...
192
00:10:40,585 --> 00:10:42,420
I just... I had...
193
00:10:42,503 --> 00:10:44,422
My hands... I had to wash my hands.
194
00:10:44,505 --> 00:10:47,592
Sometimes I need to count five
metal objects before I can pee.
195
00:10:47,675 --> 00:10:48,676
Huh?
196
00:10:48,759 --> 00:10:52,137
Door hinge, door hinge,
flusher, tap, faucet.
197
00:10:52,222 --> 00:10:53,973
Got this place wired. After you.
198
00:10:54,056 --> 00:10:55,600
Oh.
199
00:10:55,683 --> 00:10:56,684
Sure.
200
00:10:59,979 --> 00:11:03,524
So you guys fired the
warden. That was a surprise.
201
00:11:03,608 --> 00:11:07,237
Yeah. Well, we absorbed the
position. Whatever that means.
202
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,030
Like we had soaked
him up or something, but, uh...
203
00:11:10,114 --> 00:11:13,618
Good news for you though is, uh, you
know, you're our main man on the ground.
204
00:11:13,701 --> 00:11:18,205
- Everyone's been very happy so far.
- Oh, great. Great. I...
205
00:11:19,123 --> 00:11:23,919
I was thinking, maybe we could
have a meeting, all of us, old, new.
206
00:11:24,003 --> 00:11:27,006
- Make sure we're on the same page.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.
207
00:11:27,089 --> 00:11:30,551
No, I think Jones or maybe Carson
is setting something like that up.
208
00:11:30,635 --> 00:11:34,221
Everyone's checking their calendars.
It takes forever, you know what I mean?
209
00:11:34,305 --> 00:11:36,391
Just like, everyone
wants to be the alpha dog.
210
00:11:36,474 --> 00:11:41,061
This time! That time! Woof! But,
uh, I'll make the call on it soon.
211
00:11:41,145 --> 00:11:44,064
- You'll make the call?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'll let you know.
212
00:11:45,060 --> 00:11:46,144
Mr. Caputo?
213
00:11:47,943 --> 00:11:48,986
Oh!
214
00:11:49,069 --> 00:11:50,405
I made these for you.
215
00:11:50,488 --> 00:11:51,947
Look at that.
216
00:11:52,031 --> 00:11:53,908
Any word on that new job situation?
217
00:11:53,991 --> 00:11:56,786
Unconfirmed, Black. Keep moving.
218
00:11:56,869 --> 00:11:57,953
Fine.
219
00:11:58,746 --> 00:12:01,416
But I want you to know that I
have a wide array of talents,
220
00:12:01,499 --> 00:12:03,668
besides the criminal and
papier-mâché variety.
221
00:12:03,751 --> 00:12:07,087
- Oh, I am sure you do.
- Good.
222
00:12:08,798 --> 00:12:12,677
How do they, uh, know about the job?
223
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:17,578
Well, you're renovating a building out
there that's been empty since the '90s.
224
00:12:17,890 --> 00:12:22,812
Any sniff in a break in the monotony,
and these girls are all over it.
225
00:12:22,895 --> 00:12:27,567
In fact, that was one of the things
I was hoping we could all discuss.
226
00:12:27,650 --> 00:12:29,944
You throw off the whole prison economy
227
00:12:30,027 --> 00:12:34,365
when you introduce a job that's
paying 10 times the going rate.
228
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,409
I mean, it could get ugly.
229
00:12:36,492 --> 00:12:39,286
Yeah, I could see that. Well, we, uh...
230
00:12:39,370 --> 00:12:42,790
We have a system that I
think will limit the ugliness.
231
00:12:42,873 --> 00:12:44,334
- A system?
- Yeah.
232
00:12:44,417 --> 00:12:48,128
That's great. Well, maybe
we can talk more about that?
233
00:12:48,212 --> 00:12:50,923
Sure, yeah. Talk right now.
234
00:12:51,006 --> 00:12:52,049
Go up to my office,
235
00:12:52,132 --> 00:12:55,345
I could pour us a...
couple big glasses of water.
236
00:12:55,428 --> 00:12:58,013
- I, um...
- You have to pee, don't ya?
237
00:12:58,097 --> 00:12:59,724
Very much so.
238
00:12:59,807 --> 00:13:01,809
All right. To be continued.
239
00:13:01,892 --> 00:13:04,269
Okay, okay.
240
00:13:07,189 --> 00:13:09,066
- Oh!
- Oh.
241
00:13:09,149 --> 00:13:11,318
- Hello, Red.
- Hello!
242
00:13:11,402 --> 00:13:12,612
Were you coming by to see me?
243
00:13:12,695 --> 00:13:15,948
Came in for a drink of
water. It's a beautiful day.
244
00:13:16,031 --> 00:13:18,576
Is it? I was stuck
inside doing paperwork.
245
00:13:18,659 --> 00:13:20,495
- Oh.
- Who's the real prisoner?
246
00:13:20,578 --> 00:13:22,162
Still me, I think.
247
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:28,961
Hey. You look, I don't
know... You look lighter.
248
00:13:29,044 --> 00:13:30,838
I feel lighter.
249
00:13:30,921 --> 00:13:33,841
The new regime has fixed
all the soap dispensers.
250
00:13:33,924 --> 00:13:36,844
Feels like opportunities are
sprouting up all around us.
251
00:13:36,927 --> 00:13:38,137
It's funny that you say that.
252
00:13:38,220 --> 00:13:39,722
Just the other day I
was talking to someone...
253
00:13:39,805 --> 00:13:41,599
Hey, Healy. I got a question for you.
254
00:13:41,682 --> 00:13:44,309
- Reznikov, is it?
- Red.
255
00:13:44,394 --> 00:13:46,228
Berdie. Sorry to interrupt.
256
00:13:46,311 --> 00:13:48,898
Um, do you know who I can get
to drill a hole in my desk?
257
00:13:48,981 --> 00:13:50,691
I wanna run my lamp and
computer cords through
258
00:13:50,775 --> 00:13:52,359
so they're not all hanging
out there, you know.
259
00:13:52,443 --> 00:13:53,569
When you need something like that done,
260
00:13:53,653 --> 00:13:55,988
it needs to be cleared
through Admin first.
261
00:13:56,071 --> 00:13:58,157
What? That's silly.
Who's on maintenance crew?
262
00:13:59,241 --> 00:14:00,576
You're on your own with this one.
263
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:02,828
Come on, give me a name.
264
00:14:02,912 --> 00:14:06,206
Try Portolino or Wiggins.
They'll be able to help you.
265
00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:07,875
Awesome, thank you.
266
00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:11,421
You should come visit me, Red. Check
out my clean, cordless environment.
267
00:14:11,504 --> 00:14:13,964
We'll have a cup of tea.
See you later, Healy.
268
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,343
Not enjoying your new colleague, hmm?
269
00:14:18,428 --> 00:14:20,304
She's perky. I mean, who's that perky?
270
00:14:20,388 --> 00:14:24,684
I agree. Perk is for coffee.
It's deplorable in people.
271
00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:27,728
You missed a button.
272
00:14:34,359 --> 00:14:36,987
There you go. Now you're perfect.
273
00:14:38,238 --> 00:14:39,239
Thank you.
274
00:14:42,034 --> 00:14:45,413
I was just gonna go and, uh...
275
00:14:45,496 --> 00:14:49,083
get myself a perky cup of
coffee in the break room.
276
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,545
Well, don't drink too much.
277
00:14:52,628 --> 00:14:55,130
Coffee can inflame the
lining of the small intestine
278
00:14:55,214 --> 00:14:57,091
and lead to irritable bowels.
279
00:14:59,427 --> 00:15:01,303
I'll keep that in mind.
280
00:15:09,061 --> 00:15:11,772
You know what some cultures
do to people who steal eggs?
281
00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:13,852
They cut their hands off.
282
00:15:14,525 --> 00:15:18,654
According to my last
count, you owe me...
283
00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:20,418
four fucking hands.
284
00:15:22,116 --> 00:15:24,535
When I helped you out
with the Vee situation,
285
00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:27,121
we had a little
cross-cultural understanding.
286
00:15:27,204 --> 00:15:31,953
But I don't remember giving you permission
to set up your own shop, Magic Norma.
287
00:15:32,585 --> 00:15:33,669
Especially not for free.
288
00:15:33,753 --> 00:15:35,789
And especially when you don't
know what the fuck you're doing.
289
00:15:36,296 --> 00:15:39,930
Santeria is some serious shit.
290
00:15:40,551 --> 00:15:42,595
You start messing around,
you piss off the orishas!
291
00:15:42,678 --> 00:15:46,431
Mira, I... I don't need that on me.
292
00:15:47,558 --> 00:15:50,269
And that's why I'm gonna take back...
293
00:15:52,772 --> 00:15:54,314
my candle.
294
00:15:54,398 --> 00:15:59,612
Oh, look. My eggs, my beads, my honey.
295
00:15:59,695 --> 00:16:02,657
This ain't... your history.
296
00:16:02,740 --> 00:16:06,160
It ain't your culture. It stops now.
297
00:16:11,373 --> 00:16:14,627
Fine, you can keep the honey,
but it's for eating only.
298
00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:16,587
I see you anointing anything with this,
299
00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:19,089
it's gonna be the last
sweet thing in your life.
300
00:16:32,019 --> 00:16:34,689
I don't care what Gloria
says, I'm going for it.
301
00:16:34,772 --> 00:16:37,191
Gonna kill that interview
like at the job fair.
302
00:16:37,274 --> 00:16:38,609
But you lost job fair.
303
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,820
Yeah, but this time there
won't be an audience,
304
00:16:40,903 --> 00:16:42,487
so they won't get all, like, PC,
305
00:16:42,572 --> 00:16:45,658
and give it to the fat mayate
so she don't get all sad.
306
00:16:45,741 --> 00:16:47,284
Gloria's right, though.
307
00:16:47,367 --> 00:16:49,328
It's good all of us together.
308
00:16:49,411 --> 00:16:51,622
Who knows who they'll
stick in to replace you.
309
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,999
What if she's mean or
likes Coldplay or something?
310
00:16:54,083 --> 00:16:55,626
It's all gelling right now.
311
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,920
So, I'm supposed to
put on that feo hair net
312
00:16:58,003 --> 00:17:00,339
and scrub pots and pans every
day because it's gelling?
313
00:17:00,422 --> 00:17:01,632
I'm so much better than that.
314
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:03,759
- You saying you're better than me?
- No!
315
00:17:03,843 --> 00:17:07,972
You're good, too. All I'm
saying is that I got aspirations.
316
00:17:08,055 --> 00:17:10,224
I always have, even in here.
317
00:17:10,307 --> 00:17:12,977
You know, when I wear that
apron in the kitchen...
318
00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:14,770
I'm really wearing it ironically.
319
00:17:14,854 --> 00:17:15,938
Wow.
320
00:17:16,814 --> 00:17:18,107
I had no idea.
321
00:17:19,441 --> 00:17:22,903
So I thought, I gotta do like
my mom and just knock it off.
322
00:17:22,987 --> 00:17:24,614
You can do, like, chemistry?
323
00:17:24,697 --> 00:17:27,032
Nah, nah. Not even.
324
00:17:28,367 --> 00:17:30,327
So I found, like, blotter clip art.
325
00:17:30,410 --> 00:17:32,454
I printed it out.
326
00:17:32,537 --> 00:17:33,914
I wet it a little bit.
327
00:17:33,998 --> 00:17:35,625
Then, I blow dried it,
328
00:17:35,708 --> 00:17:38,252
made little squares,
and I was in business.
329
00:17:38,335 --> 00:17:40,379
Selling fake designer acid.
330
00:17:40,462 --> 00:17:43,340
Brought it to the game on
Friday. By halftime, sold out.
331
00:17:43,423 --> 00:17:45,092
- What?
- I made some more yesterday.
332
00:17:45,175 --> 00:17:46,594
Little cherries, so cute.
333
00:17:46,677 --> 00:17:50,139
And check it, bought me some flatforms!
334
00:17:50,222 --> 00:17:53,308
Oh! Those are cute. They're
like flats and platforms in one?
335
00:17:53,392 --> 00:17:56,020
Wow. That's why they're
called flatforms, dumb-ass.
336
00:17:57,062 --> 00:17:58,438
Yo, Marisol.
337
00:18:00,357 --> 00:18:02,860
Hey, Arturo. Arturo's friends.
338
00:18:03,903 --> 00:18:06,864
Willy said he saw green alien guys
when he was tripping on your shit.
339
00:18:06,947 --> 00:18:10,575
- They were leprechauns.
- Dude, aliens sounds so much cooler.
340
00:18:10,660 --> 00:18:12,912
But they had little hats.
341
00:18:12,995 --> 00:18:17,332
Aliens can't have little hats
because of their antennas or whatever.
342
00:18:18,042 --> 00:18:21,336
Do you think you could hook us up
again? My boy Jason here wants to try it.
343
00:18:21,420 --> 00:18:23,255
Lately, he's been kind of down.
344
00:18:23,338 --> 00:18:25,424
Yeah, I could hook you up.
345
00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:29,720
But remember, it's not
for escaping reality,
346
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:31,931
it's for, like, embracing it.
347
00:18:33,015 --> 00:18:34,141
Yes, ma'am.
348
00:18:43,442 --> 00:18:45,861
Oh, my God. It's totally working.
349
00:18:45,945 --> 00:18:48,488
- People will believe what you tell 'em.
- Until they don't.
350
00:18:48,572 --> 00:18:51,616
Someone's gonna come back
pissed and ask for a refund,
351
00:18:51,701 --> 00:18:53,285
or punch you in the face or something.
352
00:18:53,368 --> 00:18:54,787
No, no, no, no, no.
353
00:18:54,870 --> 00:18:58,999
If they come back, I say, "Hold
up. What happened when you took it?"
354
00:18:59,083 --> 00:19:02,086
And if they say, "Nothing,"
I say, "What is nothing?
355
00:19:02,169 --> 00:19:05,130
Because some people say there was
nothing when the universe was created,
356
00:19:05,214 --> 00:19:08,633
but, like... isn't empty
space still something?
357
00:19:08,718 --> 00:19:11,679
Open your mind to the possibilities.
358
00:19:11,762 --> 00:19:13,848
Maybe you're not doin' it right."
359
00:19:13,931 --> 00:19:16,976
And then, they come back because they
feel like they didn't do it right.
360
00:19:17,059 --> 00:19:19,186
Girl, I thought this shit through.
361
00:19:19,641 --> 00:19:22,314
- You're such a mad genius.
- Yup.
362
00:19:22,397 --> 00:19:25,943
Look at you! Round and round.
363
00:19:26,026 --> 00:19:29,279
Round all around. That's nice.
364
00:19:29,363 --> 00:19:31,824
Just get to it. Did you find him?
365
00:19:31,907 --> 00:19:36,078
Daya, that fucker hobbled
away into the sunset.
366
00:19:36,539 --> 00:19:41,041
I got into his house, nothing
left except some shitty clothes.
367
00:19:41,125 --> 00:19:43,668
I found a mug in the sink
that looked like a grenade.
368
00:19:43,753 --> 00:19:46,338
I thought that was cool.
I saved that for you.
369
00:19:46,421 --> 00:19:47,923
But he's gone.
370
00:19:51,343 --> 00:19:55,806
Daya, fuck that guy. You're better off.
371
00:19:57,182 --> 00:19:59,101
He had one leg.
372
00:20:00,269 --> 00:20:03,939
I mean, you go around losing body parts,
373
00:20:04,023 --> 00:20:06,316
that's some pretty irresponsible shit!
374
00:20:07,026 --> 00:20:10,738
I was such a bitch. I drove him away.
375
00:20:10,821 --> 00:20:14,366
You have a life growing inside of you.
376
00:20:14,449 --> 00:20:20,080
That makes you say and do all kinds
of crazy shit that make no sense.
377
00:20:20,164 --> 00:20:25,294
But a real man knows he has to suck
it up and take it for nine months.
378
00:20:25,296 --> 00:20:28,424
Maybe you get a little
side action if need be.
379
00:20:29,631 --> 00:20:31,133
But you don't split.
380
00:20:32,592 --> 00:20:36,305
Even your loser father stuck
around till you was two.
381
00:20:37,639 --> 00:20:40,935
The leaving is on
him, that's not on you.
382
00:20:42,770 --> 00:20:44,563
So, what's gonna happen now?
383
00:20:47,191 --> 00:20:48,400
You're gonna take the baby, right?
384
00:20:49,151 --> 00:20:51,862
Uh... Whoa.
385
00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:57,576
Daya, I love you and I love your mother,
but shit is real hard out here, okay?
386
00:20:57,659 --> 00:21:00,037
And then, your holy abuela, you know,
387
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:03,958
she hookin' up with some old
dude that she met in tai chi.
388
00:21:04,041 --> 00:21:06,126
Hardly ever see her anymore!
389
00:21:07,002 --> 00:21:09,379
Christina.
390
00:21:09,463 --> 00:21:12,507
Christina got some decent mommy skills.
391
00:21:12,591 --> 00:21:15,177
Maybe she can take care of
the baby for a little while.
392
00:21:15,260 --> 00:21:16,761
She's in junior high.
393
00:21:16,846 --> 00:21:19,946
So what? Junior high
will still be there!
394
00:21:20,063 --> 00:21:22,821
Plus, she's already
done, what, two years?
395
00:21:23,310 --> 00:21:26,688
Yo, it's all good. It's all good.
396
00:21:28,148 --> 00:21:29,483
I actually thought he loved me.
397
00:21:29,566 --> 00:21:32,987
And he probably did,
Daya. All guys love you.
398
00:21:33,070 --> 00:21:35,197
Because you're such a good girl.
399
00:21:36,615 --> 00:21:37,741
But you know what?
400
00:21:38,086 --> 00:21:42,830
Sometimes love ain't
stronger than débil.
401
00:21:43,998 --> 00:21:46,708
That guy was a bitch!
402
00:21:46,791 --> 00:21:50,004
This inside me? It feels
like a grenade right now.
403
00:21:51,755 --> 00:21:55,467
And soon, it's gonna blow
up and take me with it.
404
00:21:56,927 --> 00:21:58,803
It's not a mug.
405
00:22:01,765 --> 00:22:04,226
My poor baby, man.
406
00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:07,688
I'm sorry, Daya.
407
00:22:08,230 --> 00:22:12,484
If it makes you feel any better,
next time I see that motherfucker,
408
00:22:12,609 --> 00:22:14,653
I'm gonna rape his ass
with a broken bottle,
409
00:22:14,736 --> 00:22:17,774
and I'm gonna shoot him in
the stomach so he bleeds slow.
410
00:22:18,073 --> 00:22:20,951
- That I'm gonna do for you.
- Thank you.
411
00:22:22,327 --> 00:22:23,412
You're welcome.
412
00:22:25,122 --> 00:22:28,000
You need to complete
the test in 12 minutes.
413
00:22:28,083 --> 00:22:30,169
Twelve minutes.
414
00:22:30,252 --> 00:22:32,004
Be honest with your answers.
415
00:22:32,087 --> 00:22:35,715
And all pencils must be
returned at the end of the test.
416
00:22:35,799 --> 00:22:39,469
If you do not return your
pencils, you will be given a...
417
00:22:39,553 --> 00:22:41,055
- Present.
- ...shot.
418
00:22:45,350 --> 00:22:47,186
Well, look who's here.
419
00:22:47,269 --> 00:22:48,270
_
420
00:22:49,021 --> 00:22:50,814
_
421
00:22:50,897 --> 00:22:53,233
_
422
00:22:53,317 --> 00:22:55,235
A test?
423
00:22:55,319 --> 00:23:00,157
Shit, I fucking suck at taking
tests! I get all itchy and anxious.
424
00:23:01,325 --> 00:23:02,742
I can't think straight.
425
00:23:02,826 --> 00:23:04,954
_
426
00:23:05,037 --> 00:23:07,957
Don't
turn the test over till I say begin.
427
00:23:09,416 --> 00:23:13,587
Now I know they serious
about this job. Written test?
428
00:23:13,670 --> 00:23:15,547
Damn!
429
00:23:15,630 --> 00:23:18,968
They probably got us building
warheads or some shit all day.
430
00:23:19,051 --> 00:23:21,886
You really think they'll
have felons making weapons?
431
00:23:21,971 --> 00:23:23,263
I don't know.
432
00:23:23,347 --> 00:23:26,391
I heard the new guys
are military contractors.
433
00:23:26,475 --> 00:23:28,978
- Mmm.
- I'm sure they up to some evil.
434
00:23:29,061 --> 00:23:32,564
Have us making napalm or...
435
00:23:33,523 --> 00:23:36,273
- weaponizing smallpox.
- Mmm-hmm.
436
00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:37,569
Well, whatever it is,
437
00:23:37,652 --> 00:23:40,864
we gonna be leaving up here with
fish gills and extra fingers.
438
00:23:40,947 --> 00:23:42,907
That's not how mutation works.
439
00:23:42,992 --> 00:23:44,453
Oh, really? How's it work?
440
00:23:44,455 --> 00:23:47,787
Our babies would the ones born with
the fish gills and extra fingers.
441
00:23:47,871 --> 00:23:51,166
What we'd have is a bunch of
different cancers and lesions.
442
00:23:51,250 --> 00:23:52,251
Shit like that.
443
00:23:52,334 --> 00:23:56,130
Y'all so worried, don't take the
test. It gives me a better chance.
444
00:23:57,339 --> 00:23:59,591
It still make 89 cents
more than the warehouse.
445
00:24:00,259 --> 00:24:03,178
I got my eye on that
$16 fan in commissary.
446
00:24:03,262 --> 00:24:06,806
Or you can just use your extra
finger hand that you gonna have.
447
00:24:06,890 --> 00:24:10,125
All right, ladies. You may begin.
448
00:24:15,274 --> 00:24:18,693
What the fuck? "True or false?
449
00:24:18,777 --> 00:24:20,820
Ideas are more important
than real things."
450
00:24:20,904 --> 00:24:24,039
Shh! We are not supposed
to discuss the questions.
451
00:24:24,699 --> 00:24:26,368
Check out question three.
452
00:24:26,451 --> 00:24:29,788
"Agree or disagree?
Most people are brave."
453
00:24:29,871 --> 00:24:31,581
Now, my thoughts on bravery
454
00:24:31,665 --> 00:24:35,001
are supposed to tell them
I'm a good employee, how?
455
00:24:38,505 --> 00:24:40,382
So easy.
456
00:24:43,218 --> 00:24:45,531
All right. Okay.
457
00:24:45,533 --> 00:24:49,437
"I can feel overcome
with wonder in nature."
458
00:24:50,684 --> 00:24:54,234
Well, I can feel that way, but
I shouldn't say that, right?
459
00:24:54,351 --> 00:24:57,107
I mean, no one wants a tree
hugger working for them.
460
00:24:58,650 --> 00:25:01,611
Unless, they're one
of those eco companies
461
00:25:01,695 --> 00:25:04,989
that makes, like, bamboo forks.
462
00:25:05,615 --> 00:25:06,658
What have you guys heard?
463
00:25:06,741 --> 00:25:09,161
- Shh!
- Quiet, ladies!
464
00:25:13,123 --> 00:25:16,210
Let's make a deal that if one of us
gets it and the other one doesn't,
465
00:25:16,293 --> 00:25:17,752
then we don't take it.
466
00:25:17,836 --> 00:25:20,130
Like you even need to say anything.
467
00:25:25,969 --> 00:25:29,806
"I spend most of my time
trying to understand things.
468
00:25:32,517 --> 00:25:36,563
I spend most of my time...
469
00:25:37,689 --> 00:25:41,651
trying... to understand things."
470
00:25:41,735 --> 00:25:42,736
What are they getting at?
471
00:25:42,819 --> 00:25:44,154
Will you shut up? I'm
trying to concentrate.
472
00:25:45,239 --> 00:25:48,867
"I believe people are basically moral."
473
00:25:50,744 --> 00:25:51,745
Agree.
474
00:25:53,037 --> 00:25:56,250
- You're supposed to answer honest.
- I do believe that.
475
00:25:57,041 --> 00:25:59,043
_
476
00:26:01,213 --> 00:26:03,215
You
gotta think deeper than that.
477
00:26:03,965 --> 00:26:05,967
People wanna be good.
478
00:26:06,050 --> 00:26:08,387
- They really do, deep down.
- Mmm.
479
00:26:09,679 --> 00:26:10,805
But they just fuck up.
480
00:26:14,768 --> 00:26:17,146
I thought they were gonna,
like, be interviewing us,
481
00:26:17,229 --> 00:26:19,189
not giving us some weird-ass brain test.
482
00:26:19,273 --> 00:26:20,899
Quiet, Gonzales!
483
00:26:20,982 --> 00:26:22,984
_
484
00:26:28,157 --> 00:26:32,035
Would you say that I
"keep in the background"?
485
00:26:32,911 --> 00:26:36,122
I'm having a hard enough time figuring
out these questions for myself.
486
00:26:36,206 --> 00:26:38,708
What, I gotta answer
yours now, too? Please!
487
00:26:38,792 --> 00:26:40,084
Sorry.
488
00:26:43,004 --> 00:26:47,008
I'm gonna go with yes,
I keep in the background.
489
00:26:47,091 --> 00:26:50,929
My mother always said that
silence can be the loudest thing.
490
00:26:51,012 --> 00:26:53,515
But she never shut the fuck
up.
491
00:26:53,598 --> 00:26:55,517
Oh, Lordy, this is hard.
492
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,187
Quiet down, ladies.
493
00:27:00,605 --> 00:27:03,400
Hey! What'd you put for 15?
494
00:27:03,483 --> 00:27:06,320
I'm blowing it.
495
00:27:07,321 --> 00:27:09,698
See. Now I'm getting all itchy.
496
00:27:09,781 --> 00:27:11,783
- Shh!
- You, shh!
497
00:27:12,909 --> 00:27:16,162
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Who can concentrate in here?
498
00:27:16,246 --> 00:27:18,582
Gonzales, you're done.
499
00:27:18,665 --> 00:27:21,251
- I didn't finish yet.
- Yes, you're done.
500
00:27:21,335 --> 00:27:23,670
Hand over your test and your pencil.
501
00:27:26,506 --> 00:27:27,674
_
502
00:27:28,467 --> 00:27:29,968
_
503
00:27:30,719 --> 00:27:33,555
I don't speak Spanish, so
I'm going to assume you said,
504
00:27:33,638 --> 00:27:35,048
"Have a nice day."
505
00:27:42,356 --> 00:27:44,649
Ooh.
506
00:27:45,650 --> 00:27:47,068
Fuck you.
507
00:27:47,151 --> 00:27:49,488
Another one bites the dust.
508
00:27:52,407 --> 00:27:55,952
- Wanna help me spend some money?
- What happened to saving for a car?
509
00:27:56,035 --> 00:28:00,039
I think I need to invest in some more
emotional clothing right now, you know,
510
00:28:00,123 --> 00:28:02,876
and worry about the car later. I
need to dress for my authentic self.
511
00:28:02,959 --> 00:28:04,294
- Mmm-hmm.
- And for Ian.
512
00:28:04,378 --> 00:28:05,462
- Yo, what the fuck?
- Yes.
513
00:28:05,545 --> 00:28:06,963
You see me now?
514
00:28:07,922 --> 00:28:09,549
Because I see me.
515
00:28:09,633 --> 00:28:11,092
It's Jason, I
think he's fucked up.
516
00:28:11,175 --> 00:28:12,511
I'm like a self-mirror.
517
00:28:12,594 --> 00:28:13,970
_
518
00:28:14,053 --> 00:28:16,097
I am silver and shimmery!
519
00:28:16,180 --> 00:28:17,974
Jason, you fucking idiot!
520
00:28:18,057 --> 00:28:21,645
I'm failing Math and Western Civ.
521
00:28:21,728 --> 00:28:23,480
Everybody's failing Western Civ!
522
00:28:23,563 --> 00:28:24,898
How did he even get up there?
523
00:28:24,981 --> 00:28:26,149
Fuck it.
524
00:28:26,233 --> 00:28:27,359
Oh, no.
525
00:28:37,423 --> 00:28:41,415
You should plant some kale. I
hear it's become very popular.
526
00:28:41,498 --> 00:28:43,917
The stuff that stays all
day on a deli platter?
527
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,378
That's a garnish, not something to eat.
528
00:28:46,461 --> 00:28:49,088
It's supposed be loaded with vitamins.
529
00:28:50,658 --> 00:28:51,700
Hey, you were right.
530
00:28:53,302 --> 00:28:54,719
Gorgeous day.
531
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,597
Hey there, Jones, you ol' string bean.
532
00:28:57,681 --> 00:28:59,182
Hello.
533
00:28:59,266 --> 00:29:00,809
Speaking of string beans,
534
00:29:00,892 --> 00:29:04,145
Jones has some requests
for the vegetable garden.
535
00:29:04,228 --> 00:29:07,399
Now don't go getting any funny
ideas with me now, you old burner.
536
00:29:07,482 --> 00:29:10,444
I do know what a wacky
tabacky leaf looks like.
537
00:29:11,861 --> 00:29:15,407
- Excuse me, I have somewhere nicer to be.
- Ohhh...
538
00:29:15,490 --> 00:29:18,535
Oh, no. Stay. Have a
little more fun with us.
539
00:29:19,744 --> 00:29:22,369
- Sit.
- Such fun.
540
00:29:22,997 --> 00:29:25,875
Yeah, I was at a
hippie music festival once.
541
00:29:25,959 --> 00:29:28,920
Must have been, like, 10 or so.
542
00:29:29,003 --> 00:29:32,173
Mother was away and my older
brother was in charge of me.
543
00:29:32,256 --> 00:29:34,634
His buddies and I, we hitchhiked there.
544
00:29:34,718 --> 00:29:36,636
Healy, such a rebel.
545
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,806
Oh, no, no, no. I was
scared out of my mind.
546
00:29:39,889 --> 00:29:43,602
For two days, I was living with
a golf ball stuck in my throat,
547
00:29:43,685 --> 00:29:45,269
choking back the tears.
548
00:29:45,354 --> 00:29:46,896
It was absolute chaos.
549
00:29:47,236 --> 00:29:49,232
Pouring rain, nobody seemed to care.
550
00:29:49,316 --> 00:29:51,150
And people just kept wandering around.
551
00:29:51,234 --> 00:29:54,946
They were dancing completely
naked, filthy with the mud.
552
00:29:55,029 --> 00:29:56,239
It was, like, unbelievable.
553
00:29:56,323 --> 00:29:57,907
Were you at Woodstock?
554
00:29:57,991 --> 00:29:59,868
Somewhere upstate.
555
00:29:59,951 --> 00:30:02,579
Plus, somebody stole my
Johnny Unitas football.
556
00:30:02,662 --> 00:30:05,749
I never wanted to be home so badly.
557
00:30:05,832 --> 00:30:07,626
You guys understand that, right?
558
00:30:07,709 --> 00:30:10,545
Sounds like it was very
traumatizing for you.
559
00:30:12,213 --> 00:30:13,632
I don't know.
560
00:30:15,842 --> 00:30:18,261
My brother, he's an
insurance appraiser now.
561
00:30:20,096 --> 00:30:22,557
Mostly boats and other watercraft.
562
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,059
This is nice.
563
00:30:26,603 --> 00:30:28,271
Fresh air.
564
00:30:29,272 --> 00:30:30,482
Good company.
565
00:30:36,905 --> 00:30:40,241
So, she wants this. Does
that look edible to you?
566
00:30:40,324 --> 00:30:43,537
- How you think you did?
- Who can tell?
567
00:30:43,620 --> 00:30:45,997
Come on. We just got started!
568
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,792
Man, I pluck my chin hairs.
Ain't that upkeep enough?
569
00:30:48,875 --> 00:30:52,045
- I got to run, too?
- Mind, body.
570
00:30:53,755 --> 00:30:55,339
You know, I'm just now realizing,
571
00:30:55,424 --> 00:30:58,552
I'm pretty damn happy with
both those departments.
572
00:30:58,635 --> 00:30:59,886
I'm walking!
573
00:30:59,969 --> 00:31:00,970
- Come on.
- Uh-uh.
574
00:31:01,054 --> 00:31:03,848
To the green house,
then we can slow it down.
575
00:31:03,932 --> 00:31:04,974
Let's go!
576
00:31:05,058 --> 00:31:08,645
- Man, if I sweat my hair out...
- Come on! Let's go!
577
00:31:08,728 --> 00:31:10,063
Titties
flappin' everywhere!
578
00:31:10,146 --> 00:31:11,731
Please tell me that's a margarita.
579
00:31:11,815 --> 00:31:13,775
Yeah. Lemonade.
580
00:31:13,858 --> 00:31:17,946
Made from the finest powdered
ingredients the commissary has to offer.
581
00:31:18,029 --> 00:31:19,072
Mmm.
582
00:31:19,155 --> 00:31:22,033
- With the pink sweetener, not the blue.
- Nice.
583
00:31:22,701 --> 00:31:24,202
Mmm.
584
00:31:24,285 --> 00:31:25,328
Mmm.
585
00:31:25,412 --> 00:31:26,413
Thank you.
586
00:31:26,496 --> 00:31:29,829
God, I've been laying manure
for the last four hours.
587
00:31:30,542 --> 00:31:33,545
The latest rumor is that
our new corporate overlords
588
00:31:33,628 --> 00:31:36,465
are gonna be testing genetically
modified wheat out here.
589
00:31:37,215 --> 00:31:40,844
See? Who says prison doesn't
prepare you for the outside world?
590
00:31:42,053 --> 00:31:44,180
You know, when we get out of here...
591
00:31:44,263 --> 00:31:47,183
I could find electrical
work, you could landscape.
592
00:31:47,266 --> 00:31:49,811
We could drive a pickup truck.
593
00:31:49,894 --> 00:31:51,938
We would be living lesbian stereotypes.
594
00:31:52,021 --> 00:31:56,234
We could stop shaving and start camping.
595
00:31:56,317 --> 00:32:00,530
We could go to... golf tournaments.
596
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:03,867
No? No. No golf.
597
00:32:03,950 --> 00:32:05,326
Who's that girl?
598
00:32:05,409 --> 00:32:08,622
- She's not in orange, so she's not new.
- Hmm.
599
00:32:08,705 --> 00:32:11,750
I've never seen her before,
and then today twice in one day.
600
00:32:11,833 --> 00:32:13,251
It's a prison phenomenon.
601
00:32:13,334 --> 00:32:14,919
It's like when you think
you've seen everyone,
602
00:32:15,003 --> 00:32:17,964
you suddenly notice that there's a girl
603
00:32:18,047 --> 00:32:21,801
with a port wine birthmark on her face
604
00:32:21,885 --> 00:32:26,139
that has been working with you
in electrical since you got here
605
00:32:26,222 --> 00:32:27,849
and you'd never seen her before.
606
00:32:27,932 --> 00:32:30,977
No, that phenomenon is
called self-absorbed.
607
00:32:34,939 --> 00:32:36,983
Seriously, something is up with her.
608
00:32:37,066 --> 00:32:40,529
She's super sketchy, and clearly
her Disney Princess is Jasmine.
609
00:32:43,907 --> 00:32:47,410
Look! Look! She just looked at me.
610
00:32:50,413 --> 00:32:54,250
Twice in one day out of
nowhere, Piper. It's weird.
611
00:32:54,333 --> 00:32:56,252
And he knows that I'm in here.
612
00:32:59,088 --> 00:33:03,552
So... So, you're saying that Kubra
found a girl who was headed to prison,
613
00:33:03,635 --> 00:33:08,651
or better yet, convinced
someone to get arrested,
614
00:33:08,729 --> 00:33:11,685
charged, sent to prison,
615
00:33:11,768 --> 00:33:17,190
and then manipulated it so that
they would be assigned here,
616
00:33:17,273 --> 00:33:20,610
specifically so they could get you?
617
00:33:20,694 --> 00:33:24,155
I'm telling you, he's twisted.
618
00:33:24,238 --> 00:33:26,032
He plays the long game.
619
00:33:26,115 --> 00:33:28,785
He's too smart to send in a girl
who looks like she's from Cyprus.
620
00:33:28,868 --> 00:33:33,873
That's a... rookie move.
You're a paranoid racist.
621
00:33:33,957 --> 00:33:35,291
She probably just thinks you're cute.
622
00:33:36,459 --> 00:33:42,006
But if she tries to hit on
you... I will smack a bitch down.
623
00:33:43,717 --> 00:33:45,009
Hmm.
624
00:33:52,350 --> 00:33:56,771
I've heard girls talking about
you, saying you can offer help.
625
00:33:58,276 --> 00:34:00,831
I'm in a pretty dark place.
626
00:34:02,485 --> 00:34:04,195
Is this like a guru situation?
627
00:34:07,406 --> 00:34:10,660
I went to see Amma
once. The hugging saint.
628
00:34:10,744 --> 00:34:15,915
We waited for three hours to get hugged,
but then Seamus said he felt sick.
629
00:34:15,999 --> 00:34:19,753
He said it was from the
sun and the chia pudding,
630
00:34:19,836 --> 00:34:23,089
but I'm pretty sure
he just got impatient.
631
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,675
I could've used that hug.
632
00:34:26,667 --> 00:34:29,178
I don't know why I didn't stay.
633
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,140
Yes, I do.
634
00:34:32,223 --> 00:34:34,809
I didn't stay so Seamus and Meadow
635
00:34:34,893 --> 00:34:37,729
could go back to the lake
and have sex and do slackline.
636
00:34:37,812 --> 00:34:39,606
So, I missed my hug.
637
00:34:41,650 --> 00:34:44,819
Do those sound like good
friends to you? I mean...
638
00:34:45,820 --> 00:34:49,198
why don't I have people in my
life who really care about me?
639
00:34:54,162 --> 00:34:58,416
Maybe it's me. I've been lazy.
640
00:34:59,083 --> 00:35:02,545
But... there are connections
to be made in here, right?
641
00:35:02,629 --> 00:35:06,590
I mean, I see people who care about
each other all over this place.
642
00:35:06,675 --> 00:35:09,510
And they were all new
once.
643
00:35:10,553 --> 00:35:12,430
Yeah.
644
00:35:12,513 --> 00:35:14,057
That makes sense.
645
00:35:18,436 --> 00:35:19,688
Oh.
646
00:35:21,397 --> 00:35:24,608
I get it. This is your thing.
647
00:35:24,693 --> 00:35:29,656
You give people this meaningful stare,
and people project their feelings onto it.
648
00:35:33,952 --> 00:35:35,578
It's really soothing.
649
00:35:38,289 --> 00:35:40,249
I feel better.
650
00:35:41,668 --> 00:35:42,961
Thank you.
651
00:35:50,677 --> 00:35:51,970
Inmates, no touching.
652
00:36:03,815 --> 00:36:05,608
Oh, thanks. Thanks for helping.
653
00:36:06,359 --> 00:36:08,820
Yeah. You steal from someone
who's giving it away for free.
654
00:36:08,903 --> 00:36:11,447
That's, like... double negative karma.
655
00:36:11,530 --> 00:36:14,033
Yeah, it is pretty fucked up.
656
00:36:15,159 --> 00:36:17,787
You know this isn't gonna be ready
for, like, another week or so, right?
657
00:36:17,871 --> 00:36:20,206
- A week?
- Yeah.
658
00:36:20,289 --> 00:36:22,959
_
659
00:36:23,042 --> 00:36:24,668
Fuck Rome.
660
00:36:24,753 --> 00:36:26,755
_
661
00:36:28,506 --> 00:36:29,966
You got any suspects?
662
00:36:30,049 --> 00:36:31,885
You know,
it could be Papadakis.
663
00:36:31,968 --> 00:36:34,595
I know a couple of girls
got sick off her shit.
664
00:36:34,678 --> 00:36:37,181
Yo, maybe she's trying to
steal my secret ingredient!
665
00:36:37,265 --> 00:36:38,516
- Cinnamon!
- Watermelon!
666
00:36:38,599 --> 00:36:42,520
No, and no! All right? Fuck
you. I ain't telling you.
667
00:36:43,187 --> 00:36:45,273
I think that squirrel's dead.
668
00:36:45,356 --> 00:36:47,776
He's just been laying up in
that branch this whole time.
669
00:36:53,281 --> 00:36:54,908
Yo, don't do that, man.
670
00:36:54,991 --> 00:36:58,411
He gonna come down and come for your
face and claw your eyes out and shit.
671
00:36:58,494 --> 00:37:01,080
My cousin had a ferret who did that.
672
00:37:03,958 --> 00:37:08,129
- That squirrel is not giving one shit.
- Maybe he's retarded.
673
00:37:09,964 --> 00:37:11,340
Maybe he's drunk.
674
00:37:11,424 --> 00:37:13,634
What, you saying that little
thing is the hooch bandit?
675
00:37:14,677 --> 00:37:15,970
Come on, y'all.
676
00:37:16,054 --> 00:37:19,307
The bags are heavy, they were
buried deep. I don't think so.
677
00:37:19,390 --> 00:37:20,767
He's not that little.
678
00:37:20,850 --> 00:37:24,103
Maybe his daddy fucked a raccoon
and he's one of those hybrid species.
679
00:37:25,563 --> 00:37:26,647
A squacoon.
680
00:37:26,730 --> 00:37:29,733
- His tail is kind of stripey-like.
- Thank you.
681
00:37:29,818 --> 00:37:32,195
Squirrels and raccoons can't mate.
682
00:37:32,278 --> 00:37:34,238
All right? They're, like,
two totally different species.
683
00:37:35,782 --> 00:37:38,034
Whatever he is, I
think he's your problem.
684
00:37:38,549 --> 00:37:40,161
You gotta defend your stash.
685
00:37:40,244 --> 00:37:42,580
On the farm, my daddy
used pee and cayenne pepper
686
00:37:42,663 --> 00:37:43,998
to keep the skunks away.
687
00:37:48,002 --> 00:37:50,588
I suppose I should
start out by apologizing,
688
00:37:50,671 --> 00:37:54,884
which I've had to do a lot
through the years for George.
689
00:37:54,968 --> 00:37:57,887
Although, this one
really takes the cake.
690
00:37:59,138 --> 00:38:01,057
I suppose I shouldn't mention
cake because you probably...
691
00:38:01,140 --> 00:38:02,725
You can have it.
692
00:38:02,809 --> 00:38:03,852
"It"?
693
00:38:04,976 --> 00:38:05,977
The baby?
694
00:38:05,979 --> 00:38:09,148
I don't know if it's a boy
or a girl. It doesn't matter.
695
00:38:09,232 --> 00:38:10,649
Either way, I don't want it.
696
00:38:10,733 --> 00:38:14,612
My mom says you have a real nice house,
so he'll have his own room and stuff.
697
00:38:14,695 --> 00:38:16,072
Yes, that's true.
698
00:38:19,408 --> 00:38:20,618
You seem upset.
699
00:38:21,452 --> 00:38:23,162
I'm pregnant in prison, lady.
700
00:38:23,246 --> 00:38:25,706
Were you really expecting for
me to be all happy and glowy?
701
00:38:25,789 --> 00:38:30,837
No, no. I just... I thought... I
thought we would talk a little bit more.
702
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:34,715
What is there to say? I don't
feel anything for this baby.
703
00:38:34,798 --> 00:38:38,136
It's hard to have love for something
that's camping out on your bladder.
704
00:38:38,219 --> 00:38:41,264
I remember watching my ass
turn into my Aunt Louise's.
705
00:38:41,347 --> 00:38:43,557
It was not a good look.
706
00:38:43,641 --> 00:38:47,353
But, um, I also remember having
these really vivid dreams.
707
00:38:47,436 --> 00:38:52,025
None of this is what dreams are
made of. It was just a mistake.
708
00:38:52,108 --> 00:38:55,736
So, if you're trying to prove
something by taking that on, God bless.
709
00:38:56,237 --> 00:38:58,739
I am trying to prove something.
710
00:38:59,991 --> 00:39:03,494
I know that's crazy,
but I... He was always...
711
00:39:05,496 --> 00:39:09,417
Look, the nurse, when I was
checking out of the hospital,
712
00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:11,669
handed me George all wrapped
up in a blanket and said,
713
00:39:11,752 --> 00:39:15,173
"You have a difficult child.
Good luck." And she was right.
714
00:39:15,256 --> 00:39:17,008
I should've done more, you know.
715
00:39:17,091 --> 00:39:19,093
I was young and I was in a bad marriage,
716
00:39:19,177 --> 00:39:22,346
and you just realize
stuff as time goes on.
717
00:39:22,430 --> 00:39:23,556
So...
718
00:39:25,558 --> 00:39:28,727
Look, he's my kid.
719
00:39:28,811 --> 00:39:34,192
He's my responsibility even now. And
I love him, and I will love that baby.
720
00:39:34,275 --> 00:39:37,987
And I'm gonna do this right,
Miss Diaz. I am committed.
721
00:39:38,612 --> 00:39:41,657
All yours. Are we done here?
722
00:39:41,740 --> 00:39:43,742
Oh, my God, you...
You don't even know me.
723
00:39:43,826 --> 00:39:44,911
I mean, I...
724
00:39:44,994 --> 00:39:46,579
I could be some kind of ax murderer
725
00:39:46,662 --> 00:39:50,541
who wants to make coats out of
the skins of babies or something.
726
00:39:50,624 --> 00:39:53,669
I watch a lot of true crime TV.
727
00:39:53,752 --> 00:39:58,507
You want the baby, I said yes.
Why do you keep on pushing me?
728
00:39:58,591 --> 00:40:00,884
Because I'm afraid
you'll change your mind.
729
00:40:00,969 --> 00:40:03,554
I'm afraid that you'll
snap out of this depression
730
00:40:03,637 --> 00:40:05,348
and wonder, "What was I thinking?"
731
00:40:05,431 --> 00:40:08,854
You got a paper? I'll
sign it over right now.
732
00:40:09,435 --> 00:40:11,062
You'll get your do-over baby,
733
00:40:11,145 --> 00:40:15,441
and I'll have a chance to start a new
life where I just gotta worry about me.
734
00:40:16,359 --> 00:40:18,777
You can't sign the paper
until you've had the baby.
735
00:40:19,528 --> 00:40:21,614
Oh, I get it now.
736
00:40:23,282 --> 00:40:26,119
Is there somebody in here
that you could talk to?
737
00:40:26,202 --> 00:40:28,704
You know, a professional or something?
738
00:40:30,164 --> 00:40:31,958
My counselor is an old white man
739
00:40:32,041 --> 00:40:34,918
who tries to connect by
saying "Hola" in the hallway.
740
00:40:36,795 --> 00:40:40,383
And lucky for you, my mom
is all up for the deal.
741
00:40:40,466 --> 00:40:44,053
I talk to her sometimes, mmm,
when she's not being a total bitch.
742
00:40:46,472 --> 00:40:47,723
Go team.
743
00:40:49,017 --> 00:40:52,520
Well, I'm gonna come back and
visit you again really soon,
744
00:40:52,603 --> 00:40:53,854
and we'll talk some more.
745
00:41:01,862 --> 00:41:03,906
It was very nice to meet you, Dayanara.
746
00:41:08,827 --> 00:41:10,079
Bye.
747
00:41:14,292 --> 00:41:15,501
Check it out.
748
00:41:16,460 --> 00:41:20,089
Oh, yeah! Mama's got a brand new bag!
749
00:41:22,716 --> 00:41:24,302
Uh...
750
00:41:24,385 --> 00:41:26,095
'Course fucking Chapman got it.
751
00:41:26,179 --> 00:41:28,514
Oh! Fuck, yeah! That's me!
752
00:41:28,597 --> 00:41:30,266
♪ Queen of the new job ♪
753
00:41:31,975 --> 00:41:34,478
Yes! Ain't nobody's maid no more!
754
00:41:39,108 --> 00:41:41,027
No! Quit that.
755
00:41:41,110 --> 00:41:42,861
How do you know that
job's any good anyhow?
756
00:41:42,945 --> 00:41:45,073
Besides, I thought you liked cleaning.
757
00:41:45,156 --> 00:41:47,241
No, but I failed, T!
758
00:41:47,325 --> 00:41:50,119
I should've answered the question
in the reverse of how I felt.
759
00:41:50,203 --> 00:41:52,163
The opposite of me is better.
760
00:41:52,246 --> 00:41:55,291
The opposite of you is... boring.
761
00:41:55,374 --> 00:42:00,129
You're obviously too...
creative for that job.
762
00:42:02,173 --> 00:42:05,551
You bitches get in? Hmm?
763
00:42:06,219 --> 00:42:07,595
No.
764
00:42:07,678 --> 00:42:12,725
Oh, well, we promise not to throw our new
high paying jobs in your face too much.
765
00:42:14,977 --> 00:42:18,731
So, that's just business, right?
You know, some cutthroat shit.
766
00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:23,194
Oh, anyway. So you think I
need a fresh, new first day do?
767
00:42:23,277 --> 00:42:27,490
Yeah! Hook it up! Look hot! Curls!
768
00:42:28,657 --> 00:42:32,245
Get me some little spirals, some
curls, you know what I'm saying? Like...
769
00:42:35,373 --> 00:42:37,625
Hey, Gonzales, uh...
770
00:42:38,876 --> 00:42:41,795
Congrats. I saw you got in.
771
00:42:42,035 --> 00:42:43,202
Seriously?
772
00:42:43,635 --> 00:42:45,508
Holy shit.
773
00:42:45,591 --> 00:42:49,428
You know, I was psyching
myself out the whole time.
774
00:42:49,512 --> 00:42:52,431
But I guess my smarts
must've kicked in anyhow.
775
00:42:52,515 --> 00:42:54,267
So cool. How about you?
776
00:42:54,651 --> 00:42:59,230
Nah. Still stuck in
the toilet, so to speak.
777
00:42:59,313 --> 00:43:03,025
- Calgon, take me away.
- I'm sorry about that.
778
00:43:03,109 --> 00:43:04,818
But you know, I'm gonna
tell everybody I know
779
00:43:04,902 --> 00:43:07,280
to try to pee real
neat from now on, okay?
780
00:43:07,363 --> 00:43:10,199
Make your life a little
easier.
781
00:43:10,283 --> 00:43:11,367
Thanks for that.
782
00:43:15,121 --> 00:43:18,457
Come on. Get
out the way. Hurry up.
783
00:43:25,756 --> 00:43:27,966
Look how close our bunks are.
784
00:43:29,343 --> 00:43:31,220
Now we can share each other's clothes.
785
00:43:32,049 --> 00:43:33,889
They're announcing who
got the new job assignment.
786
00:43:33,972 --> 00:43:35,808
- You wanna go see?
- Yeah, okay.
787
00:43:37,351 --> 00:43:40,688
You still on the lookout
for shanking belly dancers?
788
00:43:41,980 --> 00:43:44,107
To quote Philip K. Dick,
789
00:43:44,192 --> 00:43:47,820
"It's strange how paranoia can
link up with reality now and then."
790
00:43:47,903 --> 00:43:52,572
You know, Kubra probably
loves me since I lied for him.
791
00:43:53,742 --> 00:43:56,549
Maybe I'm his gal on the inside.
792
00:43:56,995 --> 00:44:00,082
- Ha-ha.
- You know what I would use for my shank?
793
00:44:01,709 --> 00:44:03,752
- Your very own toothbrush.
- Fuck off.
794
00:44:07,423 --> 00:44:09,758
Seriously, did he reach
out to you after the trial?
795
00:44:09,842 --> 00:44:13,512
No, I'm just playing. Or am I?
796
00:44:13,596 --> 00:44:17,099
Quit it, Piper. You're
freaking me out. Be straight.
797
00:44:17,183 --> 00:44:20,644
Did you talk to him?
You have to tell me!
798
00:44:20,728 --> 00:44:24,898
Wait, like, if you were a
drug dealer, hypothetically,
799
00:44:24,982 --> 00:44:28,527
and I was a narc and you're
asking me if I was a cop?
800
00:44:28,611 --> 00:44:30,112
21 Jump Street style?
801
00:44:30,196 --> 00:44:32,072
Yeah, exactly like that.
802
00:44:33,241 --> 00:44:37,995
I have not been hired to kill you, Alex.
803
00:44:39,455 --> 00:44:41,081
Or psychologically torture me?
804
00:44:41,164 --> 00:44:44,252
Well, not by Kubra's command.
805
00:44:44,335 --> 00:44:47,588
Will you stop making light of this?
806
00:44:47,671 --> 00:44:52,009
There is a very real possibility
that he would send someone for me.
807
00:44:52,092 --> 00:44:54,011
Okay, you're right. No, I'm...
808
00:44:55,304 --> 00:44:57,681
I'm done.
809
00:44:57,765 --> 00:44:59,683
Unless, of course, I'm
hiding a weapon in my bra.
810
00:44:59,767 --> 00:45:02,019
I think you need to check.
811
00:45:32,550 --> 00:45:35,761
Everything boils down
to control with you!
812
00:45:35,844 --> 00:45:39,890
All I'm saying is if you took
Howard Street, rather than Maple,
813
00:45:39,973 --> 00:45:41,975
we would save three
minutes on the drive.
814
00:45:42,059 --> 00:45:43,894
It's not controlling, it's efficient.
815
00:45:43,977 --> 00:45:45,854
It's three minutes.
816
00:45:45,938 --> 00:45:48,774
And I enjoy the houses
on Maple. They're quaint.
817
00:45:48,857 --> 00:45:52,027
The one with the, uh... red
painted door and the tire swing?
818
00:45:52,110 --> 00:45:54,488
It makes me think maybe
the world's a nice place.
819
00:45:54,572 --> 00:45:57,032
I'll take that thought
over three minutes any day.
820
00:45:59,577 --> 00:46:04,122
- My hours got cut.
- See, I was right. I knew it.
821
00:46:04,206 --> 00:46:06,709
Smoke and mirrors. Sorry, Ford.
822
00:46:06,792 --> 00:46:09,337
No, mine too. In half.
823
00:46:13,131 --> 00:46:14,883
Sons of bitches.
824
00:46:15,718 --> 00:46:18,471
You think this is just
us? Have we been slacking?
825
00:46:18,554 --> 00:46:20,431
You let an inmate steal a van
and kill another inmate with it.
826
00:46:20,514 --> 00:46:21,807
I mean, that's pretty egregious.
827
00:46:21,890 --> 00:46:24,935
Suck it, O'Neill. I was found
to be not at fault for that.
828
00:46:25,018 --> 00:46:28,188
No, this is them.
Corporate greed mongers.
829
00:46:28,271 --> 00:46:30,023
So, who's covering
the hours we're losing?
830
00:46:30,107 --> 00:46:34,111
More mongers. They
multiply like gremlins.
831
00:46:34,194 --> 00:46:36,405
You still think the
world's a nice place?
832
00:46:38,907 --> 00:46:41,494
Ooh-hoo. Yeah!
833
00:46:42,370 --> 00:46:43,412
Mmm!
834
00:46:44,287 --> 00:46:47,207
Hey, what you think? Does this say swag?
835
00:46:48,542 --> 00:46:50,878
Great job not rubbing it in our faces.
836
00:46:50,961 --> 00:46:53,756
Hey, I didn't say that. Watson did.
837
00:46:53,839 --> 00:46:56,341
Yo, did you talk to your girl, Poussey?
838
00:46:56,425 --> 00:46:58,093
She didn't take the test.
839
00:46:58,176 --> 00:47:00,638
No! She too busy fighting off
840
00:47:00,721 --> 00:47:04,933
some imaginary drink-thieving
raccquirrel to worry about this shit.
841
00:47:05,017 --> 00:47:08,604
She's outside, pissing in
circles, making "traps"!
842
00:47:08,687 --> 00:47:10,856
You need to come clean.
843
00:47:10,939 --> 00:47:14,652
Tell her you took her shit
'fore she really get cracked.
844
00:47:14,735 --> 00:47:16,361
Are her traps humane?
845
00:47:16,445 --> 00:47:19,239
Cartoon style,
with a stick and a box.
846
00:47:19,322 --> 00:47:23,536
Look, I'd rather see her
running around like a fool
847
00:47:23,619 --> 00:47:26,455
- than sleeping and drinking all damn day.
- Mmm-hmm.
848
00:47:26,539 --> 00:47:28,165
At least she's up and moving.
849
00:47:28,248 --> 00:47:32,294
Up and moving and giving Looney
Tunes here a run for her money.
850
00:47:32,377 --> 00:47:36,339
Well, she's got a goal now.
I'll tell her... eventually.
851
00:47:36,424 --> 00:47:38,341
But, uh, don't rush.
852
00:47:38,426 --> 00:47:41,720
Once you know Santa Claus isn't
real, it's all downhill from there.
853
00:47:41,804 --> 00:47:43,722
Okay, what the hell Santa
Claus got to do with this?
854
00:47:43,806 --> 00:47:45,849
It's good to have
something to believe in.
855
00:47:45,933 --> 00:47:48,852
Giant drunky squirrels, Santa.
856
00:47:48,936 --> 00:47:53,148
It's like the tests say,
"Ideas are better than reality."
857
00:47:53,231 --> 00:47:54,316
And you agreed with that?
858
00:47:54,399 --> 00:47:57,110
- Mmm-hmm.
- Well, no wonder you didn't get the job.
859
00:47:57,194 --> 00:48:01,907
The reality they was talking about
was working your ass off for the man.
860
00:48:04,409 --> 00:48:07,871
Your answer basically
told the man to fuck off.
861
00:48:07,955 --> 00:48:09,414
No, I didn't mean that.
862
00:48:09,498 --> 00:48:13,043
Wait, so, do you think I should
talk to somebody and say...
863
00:48:13,126 --> 00:48:14,545
You know, explain myself?
864
00:48:14,628 --> 00:48:16,797
See, I think that ship
has sailed, my dear.
865
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:20,342
- Mmm-hmm.
- Time to go sweep up some pube hives.
866
00:48:20,425 --> 00:48:23,971
I like to think of them
more like... pube nests.
867
00:48:24,054 --> 00:48:26,098
Everybody's got fucking opinions!
868
00:48:26,181 --> 00:48:29,434
Well, consolation Snickers
on me later, scrub!
869
00:48:29,518 --> 00:48:30,853
Puff out!
870
00:48:33,313 --> 00:48:35,273
No.
871
00:48:35,357 --> 00:48:38,569
Something is missing in my life.
872
00:48:38,652 --> 00:48:43,365
No matter how much reading and
gardening I do, my mind drifts.
873
00:48:44,492 --> 00:48:47,578
- I have this need.
- Okay.
874
00:48:47,661 --> 00:48:50,623
An overwhelming need. A drive.
875
00:48:51,832 --> 00:48:53,083
A hunger.
876
00:48:54,459 --> 00:48:55,961
- A hunger?
- Yes.
877
00:48:57,087 --> 00:48:59,840
I am missing the heat, you know?
878
00:48:59,923 --> 00:49:02,843
That flush in my face that
only comes from real...
879
00:49:02,926 --> 00:49:03,969
Passion.
880
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,517
Oh, yeah. I understand.
881
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:12,269
Give me something to
be consumed with, Healy.
882
00:49:12,936 --> 00:49:17,691
Sure it leaves me with blisters and
burns and an aching back, but it's work,
883
00:49:17,775 --> 00:49:20,736
real work, and I yearn for it.
884
00:49:22,154 --> 00:49:25,032
Are you
talking about the kitchen?
885
00:49:26,909 --> 00:49:28,536
It is a proven fact
886
00:49:28,619 --> 00:49:32,623
that people in retirement are
more likely to get Alzheimer's.
887
00:49:32,706 --> 00:49:34,499
I don't want to become Jimmy,
888
00:49:34,583 --> 00:49:36,585
walking around with my
underwear on my head.
889
00:49:36,669 --> 00:49:39,379
I need purpose and stimulation.
890
00:49:39,462 --> 00:49:43,551
Well, Mendoza's doing a
fine job in the kitchen.
891
00:49:43,634 --> 00:49:45,886
We have no reason to replace her.
892
00:49:47,054 --> 00:49:49,181
So you'll have to...
893
00:49:49,264 --> 00:49:51,725
You'll have to look
somewhere else for your...
894
00:49:54,352 --> 00:49:57,314
You'll have to find your
purpose somewhere else.
895
00:49:57,397 --> 00:50:01,112
I'm sure with this new
regime, there will be changes.
896
00:50:01,735 --> 00:50:04,572
Maybe you could slip
this one through as well.
897
00:50:04,655 --> 00:50:07,282
Please. Comrade to comrade.
898
00:50:08,241 --> 00:50:12,537
Look... Red, this is protocol.
899
00:50:12,621 --> 00:50:15,498
You got busted for those drugs.
900
00:50:15,583 --> 00:50:18,460
There's no way Caputo's
signing off on this.
901
00:50:20,003 --> 00:50:23,757
You didn't get to where you are
without knowing how to work the system.
902
00:50:24,758 --> 00:50:26,343
I respect the system.
903
00:50:26,426 --> 00:50:28,511
Don't you also respect me?
904
00:50:30,639 --> 00:50:32,099
Jesus, Red.
905
00:50:34,727 --> 00:50:36,394
I thought you were different.
906
00:50:40,774 --> 00:50:43,611
I bet a bunch of those girls didn't
answer the questions honestly.
907
00:50:43,694 --> 00:50:45,738
I ain't 100% sure I did.
908
00:50:46,905 --> 00:50:48,782
Yeah, it was confusing.
909
00:50:48,866 --> 00:50:53,245
I had to take a test like that one
time, when I applied to be an RA.
910
00:50:53,328 --> 00:50:56,206
- What's an RA?
- A resident advisor.
911
00:50:56,289 --> 00:50:58,626
Like, for my... dorm in college.
912
00:51:00,085 --> 00:51:03,964
I didn't get that one either.
We must be too emotional.
913
00:51:04,882 --> 00:51:06,634
And that's bad?
914
00:51:06,717 --> 00:51:10,553
Um... I mean, it doesn't
make for a good employee.
915
00:51:10,638 --> 00:51:12,472
Like, I read a horrible
article this morning
916
00:51:12,555 --> 00:51:16,059
about this woman getting
stoned in Iran for adultery,
917
00:51:16,143 --> 00:51:17,770
and it seriously made me so upset
918
00:51:17,853 --> 00:51:21,106
that I've folded this laundry,
like, four times already.
919
00:51:21,649 --> 00:51:25,193
Emotional equals
unproductive, I guess.
920
00:51:26,820 --> 00:51:29,740
- I like getting stoned.
- Who doesn't?
921
00:51:30,824 --> 00:51:32,200
Yeah.
922
00:51:33,326 --> 00:51:37,622
Getting stoned. Ooh. It's so fun.
923
00:51:41,459 --> 00:51:43,879
So, um...
924
00:51:45,172 --> 00:51:46,298
Walmart.
925
00:51:47,590 --> 00:51:49,592
Uh, how about Walmart?
926
00:51:49,677 --> 00:51:52,805
It's so big. I went there once.
927
00:51:52,888 --> 00:51:56,767
I noticed that there was a
lot of... cheap shit in there!
928
00:51:56,850 --> 00:52:00,562
Like, just
everything you could ever want.
929
00:52:00,645 --> 00:52:03,732
Someone check the hot dogs out
there. I bet they're running low.
930
00:52:03,816 --> 00:52:04,817
I just refilled them.
931
00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:07,527
Well, stay on them. That
no carb trend is back.
932
00:52:07,610 --> 00:52:09,697
I'm up to my ears in buns.
933
00:52:11,281 --> 00:52:14,409
Oh. Look who decided to
grace us with her presence.
934
00:52:14,492 --> 00:52:16,995
Throw an apron on, we'll
talk punishment later.
935
00:52:17,079 --> 00:52:18,371
I got the job.
936
00:52:19,707 --> 00:52:23,626
It's supposed to start in a few minutes.
I just wanted to come let you know.
937
00:52:24,669 --> 00:52:25,838
Come?
938
00:52:25,921 --> 00:52:27,672
How considerate of you...
939
00:52:27,756 --> 00:52:30,843
to show your front when you're
turning your back on your family.
940
00:52:32,302 --> 00:52:34,346
I earned it, Gloria. You
should be proud of me.
941
00:52:34,429 --> 00:52:35,638
Because of that test?
942
00:52:35,723 --> 00:52:37,432
I heard some of the
questions on that test.
943
00:52:37,515 --> 00:52:38,683
It's not even about anything.
944
00:52:38,767 --> 00:52:41,311
They were obviously about
something, and I got 'em right.
945
00:52:41,394 --> 00:52:44,481
Blanca took it, too, and
she didn't get picked.
946
00:52:47,109 --> 00:52:51,196
Oh. So now you're better
than us? What, you're chosen?
947
00:52:52,530 --> 00:52:56,785
Oh, watch out, Norma, Flaca
is moving in on your territory.
948
00:52:59,287 --> 00:53:02,332
That's right, I am better.
Better than all you bitches.
949
00:53:03,291 --> 00:53:06,294
Maybe I got C's in high school
because my personality is too complex
950
00:53:06,378 --> 00:53:08,588
for mainstream academics.
951
00:53:08,671 --> 00:53:10,340
Some people are born for greatness.
952
00:53:11,299 --> 00:53:14,386
How nice that prison could help
you realize your full potential.
953
00:53:14,469 --> 00:53:15,553
Fuck you.
954
00:53:18,140 --> 00:53:20,017
_
955
00:53:28,893 --> 00:53:30,310
Your budget is $800,000...
956
00:53:30,402 --> 00:53:34,114
_
957
00:53:34,197 --> 00:53:35,949
_
958
00:53:36,033 --> 00:53:37,826
_
959
00:53:39,536 --> 00:53:43,957
Many private islands in
the Keys sell for over $10 million.
960
00:53:45,085 --> 00:53:47,295
_
961
00:53:50,881 --> 00:53:52,800
- Marisol Gonzales?
- Yes.
962
00:53:52,883 --> 00:53:54,092
Can I talk to you for a minute?
963
00:54:01,724 --> 00:54:04,477
- You're under arrest.
- What are you talking about?
964
00:54:04,561 --> 00:54:05,687
_
965
00:54:05,770 --> 00:54:07,689
Jason
Anders is in critical condition.
966
00:54:07,772 --> 00:54:09,024
You better hope he lives.
967
00:54:09,107 --> 00:54:11,776
I do. He's a nice kid,
but... that's not my fault.
968
00:54:11,860 --> 00:54:13,403
You sold him a controlled substance.
969
00:54:13,486 --> 00:54:17,199
I did not! I sold him a piece of paper.
970
00:54:17,282 --> 00:54:18,909
That crazy was all him.
971
00:54:18,992 --> 00:54:24,747
Listen to me, I sold him plain paper
with nothing but water and print on it.
972
00:54:24,832 --> 00:54:25,958
It was all fake!
973
00:54:26,041 --> 00:54:27,792
Yeah, well, his reaction
to it was very real.
974
00:54:27,876 --> 00:54:29,586
- And it's a crime regardless, so...
- No.
975
00:54:29,669 --> 00:54:31,254
_
976
00:54:31,338 --> 00:54:34,591
_
977
00:54:34,674 --> 00:54:37,928
Ma'am, your daughter
is under arrest for fraud and endangerment.
978
00:54:38,011 --> 00:54:40,055
- It's all in the warrant.
- No, this is not real.
979
00:54:40,138 --> 00:54:41,181
- No, this can't be real.
- Let's go, Officer.
980
00:54:41,264 --> 00:54:43,225
- I didn't do nothing! No!
- Officer, let's go.
981
00:54:43,308 --> 00:54:45,727
No! No! It was paper!
982
00:54:45,810 --> 00:54:47,896
Ma'am, we can talk about
it down at the precinct.
983
00:54:49,606 --> 00:54:53,110
Hey, um, I understand the new job
assignments were announced and...
984
00:54:53,193 --> 00:54:54,194
Oh, yeah, yeah.
985
00:54:54,277 --> 00:54:56,947
I read over that test. Where
did you come up with that?
986
00:54:57,030 --> 00:54:59,741
Oh, I just, uh, pulled
that off the Internet.
987
00:54:59,824 --> 00:55:02,327
Some kind of new assessment technique?
988
00:55:02,410 --> 00:55:04,872
Um, it was, like, a...
personality quiz or something.
989
00:55:04,955 --> 00:55:06,748
I don't even know. We
didn't even read 'em.
990
00:55:06,831 --> 00:55:10,293
Jones just pulled 40
out of a pile randomly
991
00:55:10,377 --> 00:55:11,879
and those were the winners.
992
00:55:13,838 --> 00:55:16,549
That's your system? Random selection?
993
00:55:17,592 --> 00:55:21,054
My system is to make the ladies
think that there is a system
994
00:55:21,138 --> 00:55:24,975
so they don't hate us
for not getting the job,
995
00:55:25,058 --> 00:55:28,061
they're mad at themselves
for not having what it takes.
996
00:55:28,648 --> 00:55:32,482
But you reviewed the files of
the women you selected, right?
997
00:55:32,565 --> 00:55:36,819
I mean, made sure there were
no risks in that job placement?
998
00:55:37,737 --> 00:55:40,157
We'll have COs on post.
999
00:55:40,726 --> 00:55:44,077
We've had a lot of
success with this model.
1000
00:55:44,161 --> 00:55:49,791
I have to tell you that our model
for not allowing violent criminals
1001
00:55:49,874 --> 00:55:53,003
to work with sharp tools
or arsonists in the kitchen
1002
00:55:53,086 --> 00:55:54,671
hasn't been so bad either.
1003
00:55:54,754 --> 00:55:56,631
You're right.
1004
00:55:56,714 --> 00:55:58,926
No, I totally get it. You're right.
1005
00:55:59,009 --> 00:56:02,012
I think what we'll do is
we'll send you the list,
1006
00:56:02,095 --> 00:56:03,471
and then if there are any red flags,
1007
00:56:03,555 --> 00:56:07,225
you can send those back to us
and we'll adjust accordingly.
1008
00:56:08,977 --> 00:56:12,230
Good thinking, Caputo. Thanks a lot.
1009
00:56:12,314 --> 00:56:14,441
I feel really lucky you're here.
1010
00:56:16,068 --> 00:56:18,528
- Great.
- Great.
1011
00:56:18,611 --> 00:56:19,612
Great.
1012
00:56:19,696 --> 00:56:23,992
Congratulations on landing
this coveted new job.
1013
00:56:24,076 --> 00:56:29,289
This is an opportunity for all of
you to learn a very in-demand trade.
1014
00:56:29,372 --> 00:56:36,088
And we hope that you will take it as
seriously as we did when selecting you.
1015
00:56:37,172 --> 00:56:39,882
Ladies, welcome to Whispers.
1016
00:56:46,431 --> 00:56:48,683
Cool.
1017
00:56:57,775 --> 00:56:58,818
You see that?
1018
00:57:03,531 --> 00:57:05,617
We making panties?
1019
00:57:20,262 --> 00:57:21,662
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
1020
00:57:21,687 --> 00:57:21,819
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1021
00:57:21,820 --> 00:57:21,953
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1022
00:57:21,954 --> 00:57:22,086
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1023
00:57:22,087 --> 00:57:22,219
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1024
00:57:22,220 --> 00:57:22,353
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1025
00:57:22,354 --> 00:57:22,486
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1026
00:57:22,487 --> 00:57:22,619
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1027
00:57:22,620 --> 00:57:22,753
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1028
00:57:22,754 --> 00:57:22,886
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1029
00:57:22,887 --> 00:57:23,019
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1030
00:57:23,020 --> 00:57:23,153
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1031
00:57:23,154 --> 00:57:23,286
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1032
00:57:23,287 --> 00:57:23,419
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1033
00:57:23,420 --> 00:57:23,553
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1034
00:57:23,554 --> 00:57:34,487
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