1 00:01:11,169 --> 00:01:13,525 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com 2 00:01:14,589 --> 00:01:17,424 I'd butter your toast. 3 00:01:19,636 --> 00:01:21,679 I'd feed her dog. 4 00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,642 I'd zip his sweater. 5 00:01:25,725 --> 00:01:26,893 Mmm. 6 00:01:26,976 --> 00:01:27,977 See? 7 00:01:28,060 --> 00:01:30,688 It doesn't matter what you say, as long as it's... 8 00:01:30,772 --> 00:01:32,940 "I'd blank your blank." 9 00:01:34,108 --> 00:01:36,819 It all sounds dirty, always. 10 00:01:36,903 --> 00:01:39,238 I'd disembowel his cat. 11 00:01:39,321 --> 00:01:40,657 That is not sexy. 12 00:01:40,740 --> 00:01:42,617 No, she did not say that right. 13 00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:45,119 I'd scratch that eczema. 14 00:01:45,202 --> 00:01:47,914 Oh, she is killing your theory, here, Doggett. 15 00:01:47,997 --> 00:01:50,708 Well, her exception proves the rules, 'cause... 16 00:01:50,792 --> 00:01:53,586 you guys gotta know, my boyfriend, Arlen... 17 00:01:55,004 --> 00:01:57,048 He was the master of it. 18 00:01:57,131 --> 00:02:00,885 He'd bed you whispering, "I'd light your crack pipe"? 19 00:02:01,761 --> 00:02:04,556 I didn't smoke crack. Crack's for coloreds. 20 00:02:04,639 --> 00:02:05,848 - Oh, is it, now? - N... 21 00:02:07,141 --> 00:02:09,936 African Americans. Crack is for African Americans. 22 00:02:10,019 --> 00:02:11,521 Maybe you should just drive. 23 00:02:11,604 --> 00:02:13,064 I am drivin'. 24 00:02:13,147 --> 00:02:15,274 I gotta say, these cup holders are nice. 25 00:02:15,357 --> 00:02:19,361 The air works. Seats don't smell like hot dog juice. 26 00:02:19,445 --> 00:02:21,698 Maybe we should get all of our terminal inmates 27 00:02:21,781 --> 00:02:23,616 to drive our outdated crap into a quarry. 28 00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:25,910 Gotta give it to the baldy, though. 29 00:02:25,993 --> 00:02:28,370 She had some set of balls. 30 00:02:28,454 --> 00:02:30,540 You know, a man went bald... 31 00:02:30,623 --> 00:02:31,874 and he bawled. 32 00:02:33,668 --> 00:02:35,712 But then he met a really nice lady who... 33 00:02:35,795 --> 00:02:37,171 She liked a clean head, right? 34 00:02:37,254 --> 00:02:39,632 So he balled her real good. 35 00:02:39,716 --> 00:02:42,509 So you got "bald," "bawled," and "balled," right? 36 00:02:42,594 --> 00:02:46,263 They all sound alike, but they're all spelled different. 37 00:02:46,347 --> 00:02:47,389 Isn't that wild? 38 00:02:47,473 --> 00:02:48,891 My mom taught me that. 39 00:02:48,975 --> 00:02:51,185 She taught me so many cool things. 40 00:02:55,064 --> 00:02:56,816 Come on, hon. Get it all down. 41 00:02:58,442 --> 00:03:00,152 That's right. 42 00:03:00,236 --> 00:03:01,821 Chug, chug, chug. 43 00:03:03,530 --> 00:03:05,198 Hey! All of it! 44 00:03:07,576 --> 00:03:09,036 Finish that bottle. 45 00:03:10,705 --> 00:03:13,374 See for yourself she ain't right in the head. 46 00:03:13,457 --> 00:03:17,128 Never had all what belongs to her, poor thing. 47 00:03:18,170 --> 00:03:19,881 But we take what the Lord gives us. 48 00:03:20,882 --> 00:03:23,843 Anyhow, so's I understand it, 49 00:03:23,926 --> 00:03:26,846 supplemental security income benefits for little Bessie bugs like mine 50 00:03:26,929 --> 00:03:29,598 is $314 a month. 51 00:03:30,683 --> 00:03:32,309 Is that right? 52 00:03:32,393 --> 00:03:33,811 How many kids are coming for Mother's Day? 53 00:03:33,895 --> 00:03:38,024 A lot. Some of our ladies, they have three, four, seven. 54 00:03:39,483 --> 00:03:40,818 I would have had five. 55 00:03:41,819 --> 00:03:43,237 Or six... 56 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:46,616 if you count the one that fell out after the night in the caves. 57 00:03:46,699 --> 00:03:47,700 Huh. 58 00:03:47,784 --> 00:03:50,953 Would have been a miracle baby, like Tim Tebow. 59 00:03:51,037 --> 00:03:52,997 Based on the state of your mouth when you came in, 60 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,541 I'm gonna say your baby wasn't on the star athlete track. 61 00:03:55,625 --> 00:03:58,495 Oh, yeah? Well... neither was Tim Tebow. 62 00:03:59,545 --> 00:04:01,005 You know, when his mama was pregnant, 63 00:04:01,088 --> 00:04:02,131 she had the sickness 64 00:04:02,214 --> 00:04:04,008 and the doctors told her not to have the baby, 65 00:04:04,091 --> 00:04:05,592 but she had it anyhow. 66 00:04:05,677 --> 00:04:09,138 And she was on dysentery medicine and in Filipino town. 67 00:04:09,221 --> 00:04:11,108 He wasn't such a great quarterback. 68 00:04:12,141 --> 00:04:13,184 Oh. 69 00:04:13,267 --> 00:04:15,812 Like you so great at football. 70 00:04:15,895 --> 00:04:17,229 I may have kids one day. 71 00:04:17,313 --> 00:04:18,940 One day? You got a time machine? 72 00:04:19,023 --> 00:04:20,900 The women in my family have very young ovaries. 73 00:04:20,983 --> 00:04:22,694 My mother had me at 49. 74 00:04:22,777 --> 00:04:24,987 Her mother had my Uncle Chess, at 52. 75 00:04:25,071 --> 00:04:26,155 I got plenty of time. 76 00:04:26,238 --> 00:04:28,032 We believe what we believe. 77 00:04:28,115 --> 00:04:30,159 You guys, look at this... look at this sale stuff. 78 00:04:30,242 --> 00:04:32,578 We should just bring back all this Cinco de Mayo. 79 00:04:32,704 --> 00:04:33,746 I mean, look. 80 00:04:37,875 --> 00:04:39,794 "Fiesta like there's no mañana." 81 00:04:39,877 --> 00:04:41,378 Seriously. 82 00:04:41,462 --> 00:04:43,798 You know most of the kids are gonna be Mexican, 83 00:04:43,881 --> 00:04:45,132 so make 'em feel at home. 84 00:04:45,216 --> 00:04:47,176 Just get 'em one of these red chili piñatas, 85 00:04:47,259 --> 00:04:50,179 a bunch of these... green candies from St. Patrick's Day, 86 00:04:50,262 --> 00:04:51,597 and we got a party. 87 00:04:51,681 --> 00:04:52,807 Doggett, enough. 88 00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:54,058 The only reason why you're in here 89 00:04:54,141 --> 00:04:56,435 is 'cause we couldn't leave you in the van. 90 00:05:05,737 --> 00:05:07,822 Let's go price the helium tanks. 91 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:16,984 You all right? 92 00:05:16,986 --> 00:05:18,154 I'm fine. 93 00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:22,211 Are you havin' a panic attack? 94 00:05:22,795 --> 00:05:24,756 I'm breathing mindfully. 95 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:26,799 I'm supposed to do it to 108... 96 00:05:26,883 --> 00:05:30,594 and then do it again if I'm not feeling any better... 97 00:05:30,677 --> 00:05:32,471 even though I never feel better. 98 00:05:33,597 --> 00:05:35,557 Now I lost count. Shit! 99 00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:38,153 Where did you learn this? 100 00:05:38,155 --> 00:05:40,529 Some magazine. I don't know. 101 00:05:40,531 --> 00:05:42,249 I'm just trying to find some fuckin' peace. 102 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,013 Holy shit, look who's back. 103 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:48,139 You missed me, right? 104 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:51,142 Like a bulldog misses his balls. 105 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,726 You're in that bunk. 106 00:05:54,895 --> 00:05:56,730 I can't sleep on the top bunk. 107 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,649 - Yeah, well, not the top. - Oh, no. Uh-uh. 108 00:05:58,732 --> 00:06:00,901 That's Rosa's bed. Back it up. 109 00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,736 DeMarco, she's been assigned to that bunk. 110 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,363 Show some respect for the dead. 111 00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:16,002 Red, I know you from the first night I spent in this room, 112 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,461 but you take one more thing down, I'm gonna reopen your head wounds. 113 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,129 Wanna build a shrine to Rosa? 114 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,256 Build it somewhere she had joy... 115 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:26,510 not on this miserable bed where she lay dying of cancer. 116 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,429 The woman went out like a champ. 117 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:30,806 Tough fuckin' broad. 118 00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:32,266 You want any of this? 119 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,310 Yeah, the playin' cards. 120 00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:36,604 She was a good card player. 121 00:06:39,857 --> 00:06:40,984 How you doing, Red? 122 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,860 Strangest thing... 123 00:06:42,943 --> 00:06:46,079 ever since the assault I speak with this Russian accent. 124 00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,866 - You still having headaches? - Yeah. 125 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:52,286 Trying to wean myself off the pills. 126 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:55,164 I can't stand feeling foggy all the time. 127 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,708 You got any on ya? 128 00:06:57,791 --> 00:06:59,835 A few. I've been cheeking them. 129 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,213 Here. 130 00:07:02,645 --> 00:07:03,622 How much you want? 131 00:07:03,963 --> 00:07:05,112 Nothin'. 132 00:07:05,114 --> 00:07:07,510 You don't give anything away for free. 133 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,262 I've turned over a new leaf. 134 00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,722 Wait. That's been in your mouth? 135 00:07:12,444 --> 00:07:13,736 Briefly, yes. 136 00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:16,185 Ugh. Shkeeve. No offense. 137 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,896 I only share spit with my man and my babies. 138 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,191 I'll take it. 139 00:07:29,784 --> 00:07:32,829 Mother's Day Fair... expanded visitation... 140 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,788 it fosters the inmates' connection to the outside world. 141 00:07:35,871 --> 00:07:38,416 These women forget they have lives on the outside, 142 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:39,708 it affects how they behave in here. 143 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:42,045 Maybe they forget for good reason. 144 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,589 Well, that's your job to worry about now. You're the expert. 145 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:47,466 Not really. My degree's in cosmetology. 146 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,592 My whole résumé's a lie. 147 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,428 But you would be amazed what ladies will reveal 148 00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,096 while you're bleaching their arm hair. 149 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:56,267 I don't know you that well. You're joking, right? 150 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:58,352 'Cause I just got everything square around here, 151 00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,562 and it's been an uphill climb. 152 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:00,913 So I heard. 153 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:02,731 Now, what'd you hear? 154 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:06,569 That you got caught in a shit-storm, but you put up a sturdy umbrella. 155 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,029 Yeah, well, it's starting to leak. 156 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:12,283 Now I'm doing Madame Shit-Storm's job, along with doing my old job, 157 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,827 which the powers-that-be have yet to fill. 158 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,705 I'm doin' two jobs. 159 00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:19,873 Do you resent that the administration hired me 160 00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:21,834 before finding a replacement for your old job? 161 00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:24,087 Are you analyzin' me? 162 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,213 No. 163 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:28,091 I just don't want any shade without having been given a shot. 164 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,842 My beef's not with you. 165 00:08:29,925 --> 00:08:31,385 What'd you hear about me? 166 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:34,097 That you're smart and you're qualified and... 167 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,223 you said yes. 168 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,642 Does my saying yes maybe cancel out the smart part? 169 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:40,542 How's this? 170 00:08:40,544 --> 00:08:43,621 Welcome to Litchfield, where your services are needed 171 00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:47,169 in both the counseling and hair removal arenas. 172 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,862 These are complicated ladies in a complicated place. 173 00:08:49,945 --> 00:08:51,239 Yo! 174 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:54,367 Mr. Caputo! That your girlfriend? 175 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:57,120 I had a feeling you had a thing for the darker berries. 176 00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:00,706 Jefferson, this is Counselor Rogers. 177 00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:02,916 Counselor? What about Mr. Healy? 178 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,001 He's still here. 179 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,462 Huh. This is gonna get interestin'. 180 00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:08,214 Is it? How so? 181 00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:10,048 Jefferson, why don't you go help set up? 182 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,675 Yes, sir, mas'er. 183 00:09:13,677 --> 00:09:15,179 Mr. Caputo, sir. 184 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,264 What do you want, Bennett? 185 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,765 Sir, all the lights in C-Dorm went out, 186 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:20,017 so I sent some of the girls in electrical down to take a look at it. 187 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:22,186 They're not girls, Bennett. They're inmates. 188 00:09:22,802 --> 00:09:23,771 Or women. 189 00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:25,106 Or electricians. 190 00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,315 What's your point? 191 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,111 Um, well, the lights are back on now. 192 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:32,488 It's a great story. Thank you for sharing. 193 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,367 - Berdie Rogers, new counselor. - Hi. 194 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:38,202 Officer Bennett... 195 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,288 is there anything else you'd like to tell us? 196 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:41,914 Nice to meet you. 197 00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:48,045 What's goin' on there? 198 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,589 Nothing. It's nothing. 199 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,342 How about we go on a tour of the dorms in all their well-lit glory? 200 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,683 Everybody says she's got magic. 201 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:03,769 Did she touch it, too? I wanna know that she touched it. 202 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:08,441 Mmm-hmm. She touched it. She blessed it. 203 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:09,525 Oh, shit. 204 00:10:09,608 --> 00:10:10,734 What does that mean? 205 00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:14,029 Hasan put a curse on me, didn't he? 206 00:10:14,112 --> 00:10:15,781 That's a cursed egg. 207 00:10:15,864 --> 00:10:18,159 I'll lose a foot. 208 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:19,785 Bobo will attack all the quail. 209 00:10:19,868 --> 00:10:21,912 It's not a cursed egg. My hand slipped, okay? 210 00:10:21,995 --> 00:10:24,248 Why don't you go get cleaned up, and then we'll start all over again? 211 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,917 We're gonna do a whole thing, okay? Go. 212 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,171 I'm all eggy now. It's gonna attract snakes. 213 00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,505 I know. That's not good. 214 00:10:32,125 --> 00:10:34,884 Now what does the egg do? You makin' somebody else go away? 215 00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,302 I'm making an omelet. 216 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,346 I got no scraps for your hooch today, 217 00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:41,432 and I am still waiting on my jar from the last batch. 218 00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:44,435 Okay, it's comin'. A few more days. It's gonna be good. 219 00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,479 Listen, we were thinkin' of doin', like, 220 00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:48,314 a little game booth for the kids, 221 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:52,150 where they throw Ping-Pong balls into little bowls of water. Win a prize. 222 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,319 Can I borrow some bowls? 223 00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:55,508 Where you gonna get some Ping-Pong balls around here? 224 00:10:55,510 --> 00:10:56,791 Found a bunch in the warehouse. 225 00:10:56,793 --> 00:10:59,778 They're old as fuck and mostly dented, but they'll work. 226 00:11:00,095 --> 00:11:01,910 What are you gonna do for prizes? 227 00:11:02,273 --> 00:11:04,872 Buy some Tootsie Rolls from commissary... 228 00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:06,081 dole them out. 229 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,292 That's nice of you. 230 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,711 Yeah, well, it's y'all's day. 231 00:11:10,794 --> 00:11:13,589 Must be hard as fuck bein' in here when you got kids on the outside. 232 00:11:13,672 --> 00:11:14,715 Your kids comin'? 233 00:11:14,798 --> 00:11:17,801 Yeah... for the first time in a long time. 234 00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,679 My tía, she moved back into the city. 235 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,806 Don't forget to call your mother tomorrow. 236 00:11:24,057 --> 00:11:25,225 Oh, my mom's passed. 237 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,647 - I'm sorry. - Yeah. 238 00:11:31,231 --> 00:11:32,483 - Mira, Blanca! - Eh? 239 00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:36,487 Why don't you get this one some of those fruit cocktail-sized bowls? 240 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:38,489 I won a goldfish once 241 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,198 in one of those games. 242 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:42,200 Tequila, we named him. 243 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:43,786 We gave him, like, Froot Loops to eat. 244 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,245 Like 12 years that thing lived... 245 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,623 until my cousin, Antoni, ate him on a dare. 246 00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:49,041 Fucking asshole. 247 00:11:50,083 --> 00:11:52,252 I'm definitely a carbon monoxide guy. 248 00:11:53,128 --> 00:11:55,589 Put on some tunes, breathe deep, go out easy. 249 00:11:56,715 --> 00:11:58,759 - Maybe pills. - Figures. 250 00:11:58,842 --> 00:12:00,218 What do you mean, "figures"? 251 00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,095 Pills are expensive. 252 00:12:03,263 --> 00:12:04,264 But you don't even think about that. 253 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:07,310 Well, I didn't realize that my hypothetical suicide had a budget. 254 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,102 Some of us have to think about these things. 255 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:11,188 I make 11 cents an hour. 256 00:12:11,271 --> 00:12:13,982 When I get outta here, I will have no home... 257 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:17,611 I will have no job... and not a whole lot of prospects. 258 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,780 All the more reason to start thinking economically. 259 00:12:20,618 --> 00:12:22,325 Welcome to the real world, princess. 260 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,242 This is not a healthy discussion. 261 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:28,163 You know, when you go to a shooting range, you don't have to pay until you leave. 262 00:12:28,397 --> 00:12:29,941 So you can check out a gun... 263 00:12:30,306 --> 00:12:32,433 shoot yourself right there. Wouldn't cost you a cent. 264 00:12:33,476 --> 00:12:35,353 I would like to change the subject, please. 265 00:12:36,937 --> 00:12:39,565 You know, the... hot one's back. 266 00:12:39,648 --> 00:12:41,525 What do you mean, "the hot one"? 267 00:12:41,609 --> 00:12:42,610 Your girlfriend. 268 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,114 The Bettie Page of Litchfield. 269 00:12:47,906 --> 00:12:48,992 Alex is back? 270 00:12:51,491 --> 00:12:52,576 I gotta go find her. 271 00:12:52,578 --> 00:12:55,480 - Oh, hey! You're on the clock here. - Well, can I go early? 272 00:12:55,689 --> 00:12:56,582 Sure. 273 00:12:56,665 --> 00:12:59,085 Why don't you grab a happy hour cocktail with her at TGI Fridays? 274 00:12:59,168 --> 00:13:01,408 - You wanna put in for vacation time, too? - Okay, okay, all right. 275 00:13:01,410 --> 00:13:03,189 Finish your fucking job. 276 00:13:04,007 --> 00:13:05,758 It's not like she's goin' anywhere. 277 00:13:05,841 --> 00:13:07,551 And to be honest, she looked a little rough. 278 00:13:08,761 --> 00:13:10,929 It sucks when hot chicks start to cool down. 279 00:13:15,268 --> 00:13:16,394 Okay, okay, listen up. 280 00:13:16,477 --> 00:13:18,854 If you don't have children comin' today, please come back another time. 281 00:13:18,937 --> 00:13:21,107 And for all you mothers, it's a numbers day. 282 00:13:21,190 --> 00:13:22,400 No special request. 283 00:13:22,483 --> 00:13:25,328 I only wanna trim so I look the same as the last time I saw her. 284 00:13:25,611 --> 00:13:27,655 It's called object permanence. 285 00:13:27,738 --> 00:13:30,033 It's also called boring... but you the boss. 286 00:13:31,409 --> 00:13:33,119 And what are we doin' with you today? 287 00:13:33,202 --> 00:13:35,663 I'll take number seven, please. 288 00:13:37,415 --> 00:13:38,791 You excited for Mother's Day? 289 00:13:38,874 --> 00:13:41,502 Oh, yeah, all my kids are comin'. 290 00:13:41,585 --> 00:13:44,463 Little Donovan and baby Frankie, 291 00:13:44,547 --> 00:13:47,175 that's short for Francesca, and the twins. 292 00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:48,384 You got four kids? 293 00:13:48,467 --> 00:13:51,637 Oh, sure. Catholic. You know how it goes. 294 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,514 You don't got no kids. 295 00:13:53,597 --> 00:13:56,809 Yes, I do. I have four kids and they're all coming to see me. 296 00:13:56,892 --> 00:13:58,602 Bull... shit. 297 00:13:58,686 --> 00:14:01,021 - Show me your stomach. - What? 298 00:14:01,105 --> 00:14:03,649 Mother of four, twins no less. 299 00:14:03,732 --> 00:14:05,901 Let me see your belly. 300 00:14:05,984 --> 00:14:09,905 Maybe I did a lot of sit-ups, and maybe they're adopted. 301 00:14:09,988 --> 00:14:11,824 Get the fuck out of my chair. 302 00:14:11,907 --> 00:14:14,535 No, I need this. I lost my van. 303 00:14:14,618 --> 00:14:16,454 I have been scrubbin' toilets. 304 00:14:16,537 --> 00:14:18,164 Let me feel like a person. 305 00:14:18,247 --> 00:14:21,375 You can feel like a person after I see my actual baby 306 00:14:21,459 --> 00:14:23,252 that came out of me and exists. 307 00:14:23,336 --> 00:14:26,505 Well, maybe my mother's comin' to visit and I need to look nice for her. 308 00:14:26,589 --> 00:14:28,299 Liar. 309 00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:31,434 I really haven't been feelin' so good lately, 310 00:14:31,510 --> 00:14:35,181 and dollin' up's the only way I got to feel better. 311 00:14:37,975 --> 00:14:39,227 - Okay. - What? 312 00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:41,062 - I'll work on her real fast. - Come... 313 00:14:41,145 --> 00:14:42,980 I got a soft spot for the pathetics. 314 00:14:43,064 --> 00:14:45,066 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 315 00:14:46,109 --> 00:14:48,111 Somebody comin' to visit you this weekend? 316 00:14:49,195 --> 00:14:50,404 My son, Michael. 317 00:14:50,488 --> 00:14:51,530 Oh. 318 00:14:51,614 --> 00:14:55,534 How does that work, with you being a lady-man and all? 319 00:14:55,618 --> 00:14:59,330 Do you and his mother both celebrate the day? 320 00:14:59,413 --> 00:15:01,582 You really wanna be callin' me a lady-man 321 00:15:01,665 --> 00:15:04,168 when I got a fistful of your hair in my hand? 322 00:15:04,252 --> 00:15:06,379 Oh, I just thought it sounded nice. 323 00:15:06,462 --> 00:15:08,797 I don't know from these things. 324 00:15:08,881 --> 00:15:10,758 That's why I'm askin' questions. 325 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,678 We're sharing the day. 326 00:15:14,762 --> 00:15:17,890 He's spending Father's Day with her new boyfriend, the pastor. 327 00:15:17,973 --> 00:15:18,974 Oh. 328 00:15:19,057 --> 00:15:22,436 Well, that doesn't seem fair. He's not his father. 329 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,438 Well, I'm not sure I am anymore, either. 330 00:15:24,522 --> 00:15:26,107 ♪ Hit the road, Jack ♪ 331 00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:29,652 ♪ And don't you come back No more, no more, no more, no more ♪ 332 00:15:29,735 --> 00:15:33,030 ♪ Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more ♪ 333 00:15:33,114 --> 00:15:34,240 ♪ What you say? ♪ 334 00:15:34,323 --> 00:15:35,574 Mmm-mmm. 335 00:15:35,658 --> 00:15:37,660 We goin' about this the wrong way. I should sing. 336 00:15:37,743 --> 00:15:39,870 It'll drive him out of there screaming. 337 00:15:39,953 --> 00:15:41,247 Mmm. 338 00:15:41,330 --> 00:15:42,456 Mmm. Do my feet again. 339 00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:44,708 Mmm. Like this, baby? Like this? 340 00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:45,876 Ah, yeah. Ooh. 341 00:15:46,877 --> 00:15:49,172 Yeah, you squeeze there while I pinch my nipples. 342 00:15:49,255 --> 00:15:51,507 We have some more of that spicy chicken from Bongo's, 343 00:15:51,590 --> 00:15:53,134 have sex again. 344 00:15:53,217 --> 00:15:55,761 I run around the block a couple times, do some jumpin' jacks. 345 00:15:55,844 --> 00:15:57,221 Get out. 346 00:15:58,264 --> 00:15:59,640 Do you hear me? 347 00:15:59,723 --> 00:16:03,101 It is time for you to vacate the premises. 348 00:16:03,186 --> 00:16:04,437 It's your eviction notice. 349 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,326 Ooh. 350 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:08,524 Did you see that? 351 00:16:10,057 --> 00:16:11,099 That was a foot. 352 00:16:11,555 --> 00:16:13,111 A whole person in there. 353 00:16:15,448 --> 00:16:16,699 Mmm. You scared. 354 00:16:17,783 --> 00:16:18,784 A little. 355 00:16:19,993 --> 00:16:21,745 Don't be. You're gonna make a great daddy. 356 00:16:23,456 --> 00:16:24,498 Ah. 357 00:16:24,582 --> 00:16:25,999 Back on that foot. 358 00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:27,501 Back on that... There you go. 359 00:16:27,585 --> 00:16:28,794 There. 360 00:16:30,672 --> 00:16:33,131 You know, there's nothing wrong with that light. 361 00:16:33,216 --> 00:16:35,218 Oh, yeah? Why don't you let me be the judge of that? 362 00:16:35,301 --> 00:16:36,844 Because you don't know what the fuck you're doing. 363 00:16:36,927 --> 00:16:38,011 Okay, you know what? 364 00:16:38,095 --> 00:16:41,640 For your information, there's actually a loose fluorescent bulb in here. 365 00:16:41,724 --> 00:16:45,018 You're lucky I caught this, or we might all be dead. 366 00:16:48,063 --> 00:16:50,107 You know why she's in here all the time lately? 367 00:16:50,191 --> 00:16:51,442 'Cause she's a dumbshit. 368 00:16:51,525 --> 00:16:53,486 'Cause she got a crush on me. 369 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,571 What are you talking about? 370 00:16:55,654 --> 00:16:58,949 When she had that bet thing going on with the bully butch bitch, 371 00:16:59,032 --> 00:17:01,702 she tried to get me, but I didn't do it. 372 00:17:01,785 --> 00:17:03,204 She wasn't offering anything good. 373 00:17:03,287 --> 00:17:06,123 Well, I've seen you suck a cock for a bag of ranch Doritos. 374 00:17:06,207 --> 00:17:09,752 Totally different. That was a cock. And I love ranch flavor. 375 00:17:10,294 --> 00:17:12,546 The point is, she's really into me, 376 00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:14,215 which is why she keeps coming around here. 377 00:17:14,298 --> 00:17:16,174 Well, you gotta stop leading her on. 378 00:17:16,259 --> 00:17:19,094 I ain't done nothin'. I can't help that I'm dyke bait. 379 00:17:21,722 --> 00:17:24,475 Yeah, look at her, bendin' down, showin' you her ass. 380 00:17:24,558 --> 00:17:25,726 I think you're right. 381 00:17:25,809 --> 00:17:29,062 I'm telling you... she's so desperate for me. 382 00:17:29,980 --> 00:17:31,732 Makes me almost sad for her. 383 00:17:40,538 --> 00:17:41,992 Oh, Nicky! She coming! 384 00:17:42,075 --> 00:17:44,370 - Stop her! It's not ready! - What's not ready? 385 00:17:44,453 --> 00:17:46,372 No, Mommy, you have to go back! Go back to bed! 386 00:17:46,455 --> 00:17:48,374 Sweetie, we're having brunch at the Four Seasons. 387 00:17:48,457 --> 00:17:50,251 Paloma, why is she not dressed? 388 00:17:50,334 --> 00:17:53,170 I tell her, but she want to surprise you. 389 00:17:53,254 --> 00:17:55,047 She been up since 6:00. 390 00:17:55,130 --> 00:17:57,925 Well, that's very cute, honey, 391 00:17:58,008 --> 00:17:59,427 but we need to get dressed 392 00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:02,137 and put on our happy faces and pretend we like Grandma. 393 00:18:03,389 --> 00:18:04,840 There'll be shrimp cocktail. 394 00:18:04,898 --> 00:18:06,392 But it's Mother's Day. 395 00:18:06,475 --> 00:18:08,018 That's right. It's my day. 396 00:18:08,101 --> 00:18:12,398 So we will get through brunch, and I will head straight for the spa. 397 00:18:12,481 --> 00:18:13,607 Happy mother. 398 00:18:15,108 --> 00:18:16,360 Oh, come on, sweetheart. 399 00:18:16,444 --> 00:18:19,405 Put on the blue dress I bought you from Bergdorf's. 400 00:18:28,789 --> 00:18:30,958 She didn't read my card. 401 00:18:35,629 --> 00:18:37,965 Your hair looks nice like that. 402 00:18:38,048 --> 00:18:39,508 Oh, you noticed. 403 00:18:39,592 --> 00:18:40,718 Oh, honey. 404 00:18:40,801 --> 00:18:43,887 Yeah, well, I'm glad to see you keepin' yourself up, doll. 405 00:18:43,971 --> 00:18:47,975 No one likes to see a beautiful, ripe fruit just wither on the vine. 406 00:18:48,058 --> 00:18:49,435 You like my ripe fruit? 407 00:18:49,518 --> 00:18:52,938 So sweet, so juicy. 408 00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:56,400 Oh, as if the smell of this dinner isn't making me feel nauseous enough. 409 00:18:56,484 --> 00:18:59,111 Well, maybe you'd rather talk about vegetables, huh? 410 00:18:59,194 --> 00:19:02,155 Like your favorite stalk of celery that just walked in. 411 00:19:02,239 --> 00:19:04,825 Yeah, looks like she's lost a little bit of her crunch. 412 00:19:04,908 --> 00:19:06,952 What the fuck is she doin' back here? 413 00:19:12,207 --> 00:19:13,250 Hi. 414 00:19:13,334 --> 00:19:14,877 Inmate, no touching. 415 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,129 Yeah, inmate. Let's just keep it orthodox. 416 00:19:17,212 --> 00:19:20,466 What happened? What are you doing back here? 417 00:19:20,549 --> 00:19:21,925 And... 418 00:19:22,009 --> 00:19:23,511 What happened to your face? 419 00:19:24,678 --> 00:19:27,222 Just a little trouble in lockup. I was in a mood. 420 00:19:28,557 --> 00:19:31,685 I forgot that you should let crackheads have their way. 421 00:19:31,769 --> 00:19:32,853 Well, yeah. 422 00:19:32,936 --> 00:19:34,438 Crackheads... 423 00:19:34,522 --> 00:19:35,564 Wookiees... 424 00:19:35,648 --> 00:19:37,315 you know, you gotta let 'em win. 425 00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:40,976 What... did you do? 426 00:19:40,978 --> 00:19:44,407 This is so unbelievably embarrassing. 427 00:19:44,490 --> 00:19:46,074 Come on. 428 00:19:46,158 --> 00:19:48,405 Like anybody in here can judge. 429 00:19:50,579 --> 00:19:51,997 How am I back here? 430 00:19:53,248 --> 00:19:55,603 That's my question. Come on. 431 00:19:56,419 --> 00:19:58,421 Let's go take a walk. 432 00:19:58,504 --> 00:20:00,589 But can't real faith make shit happen? 433 00:20:00,673 --> 00:20:02,716 Look, who knows anything, all right? 434 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,217 All I'm saying is, they did some kind of 435 00:20:04,301 --> 00:20:05,594 voodoo spell on Vee, 436 00:20:05,678 --> 00:20:07,054 and, boom, bitch was gone. 437 00:20:07,137 --> 00:20:08,180 Yo. 438 00:20:08,722 --> 00:20:11,058 Vee is fine. 439 00:20:11,141 --> 00:20:12,768 - Oh, my God. - Yo, okay. 440 00:20:12,851 --> 00:20:14,603 I cannot go through this again. 441 00:20:14,687 --> 00:20:20,317 Suzanne... you throw that tray, or anything on it, 442 00:20:20,401 --> 00:20:22,403 we dog-pilin' on you till you're flat. 443 00:20:22,486 --> 00:20:24,863 - Mmm-hmm. - Agree to disagree, 444 00:20:24,947 --> 00:20:26,615 and let's get on with our lives. 445 00:20:26,699 --> 00:20:27,950 Agree to disagree. 446 00:20:28,033 --> 00:20:29,702 Uh-huh. Shit. 447 00:20:29,785 --> 00:20:30,911 Rhymes with, "Vee." 448 00:20:30,994 --> 00:20:32,965 Rhymes with, "Let it be." 449 00:20:33,045 --> 00:20:36,584 So, what you want with this voodoo magic, anyhow? 450 00:20:36,667 --> 00:20:37,876 Don't be playin' around with that. 451 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,630 Mess with the evil forces, you'll be out like Cedric Diggory. 452 00:20:41,714 --> 00:20:43,131 Who? 453 00:20:43,215 --> 00:20:44,410 Harry Potter. 454 00:20:44,412 --> 00:20:46,455 Died in the Triwizard Tournament? 455 00:20:46,844 --> 00:20:48,178 Look, I don't know. I just... 456 00:20:48,261 --> 00:20:49,722 I think it's interestin'. 457 00:20:49,805 --> 00:20:53,434 I mean, who knows what kind of forces are operatin' out there in the universe? 458 00:20:53,517 --> 00:20:56,353 Maybe it ain't such a bad idea to try to get 'em on your side. 459 00:20:57,354 --> 00:20:59,815 All right, Poussey, you read the Calvin part, 460 00:20:59,898 --> 00:21:02,064 I'll be the mom. Here. 461 00:21:02,651 --> 00:21:04,695 "Mom, was I ever a grub?" 462 00:21:04,778 --> 00:21:05,779 "A what?" 463 00:21:05,863 --> 00:21:09,908 "You know, a larva. Did I really 'pup-ate' at age two?" 464 00:21:10,659 --> 00:21:11,635 "Pu-pate." 465 00:21:12,536 --> 00:21:13,871 Like... poo? 466 00:21:13,954 --> 00:21:17,332 Oh, come on. You know that word from when we studied butterflies. 467 00:21:17,415 --> 00:21:19,793 The caterpillar goes through the pupal stage and then... 468 00:21:19,877 --> 00:21:21,128 I love you, Mommy. 469 00:21:22,588 --> 00:21:24,923 Love you, too, baby. 470 00:21:25,108 --> 00:21:26,317 Now, let's keep reading. 471 00:21:28,719 --> 00:21:30,262 I am so excited! 472 00:21:30,345 --> 00:21:31,972 I don't think I'm gonna be able to go to sleep tonight. 473 00:21:32,055 --> 00:21:33,431 No, you gotta try. 474 00:21:33,516 --> 00:21:35,601 You don't want your baby seeing you with bags under your eyes. 475 00:21:35,684 --> 00:21:37,394 That's setting a really bad example. 476 00:21:37,478 --> 00:21:40,063 So, how you feelin' about your first Mother's Day? 477 00:21:40,147 --> 00:21:42,065 - I'm not a mother yet. - Sure you are. 478 00:21:42,149 --> 00:21:44,822 If she's already givin' you pain and trouble, you're a mother. 479 00:21:45,193 --> 00:21:46,361 And I'm a mother. 480 00:21:46,444 --> 00:21:48,614 You getting me a present tomorrow for all I've done for you? 481 00:21:49,239 --> 00:21:51,324 Don't I just cause you pain and trouble? 482 00:21:51,408 --> 00:21:53,174 At least get me a card or something. 483 00:21:54,202 --> 00:21:56,038 Draw me one of your weird pictures. 484 00:21:57,748 --> 00:21:58,999 Give me my stuff! 485 00:21:59,082 --> 00:22:02,002 Oh, no? Something to hide? 486 00:22:02,085 --> 00:22:04,713 Love letters, maybe, from all those men in your life? 487 00:22:04,797 --> 00:22:06,256 This is fancy. 488 00:22:06,339 --> 00:22:07,340 Greenwich, Connecticut? 489 00:22:07,424 --> 00:22:08,842 Who the fuck you know in Greenwich, Connecticut? 490 00:22:08,926 --> 00:22:10,803 No one. I was gonna throw it out. It's stupid. 491 00:22:10,886 --> 00:22:12,805 "I've heard I'm to have a grandchild. 492 00:22:12,888 --> 00:22:14,472 I'd like to see you. 493 00:22:14,557 --> 00:22:16,850 Sincerely, Delia Mendez Powell." 494 00:22:17,643 --> 00:22:18,852 Mendez? 495 00:22:18,854 --> 00:22:21,002 Holy shit! This is Pornstache's mother? 496 00:22:22,397 --> 00:22:24,900 Yo, I smell money here. You gotta say yes. 497 00:22:24,983 --> 00:22:26,735 Write her back and tell her you'll see her. 498 00:22:26,819 --> 00:22:28,737 'Cause I need another person involved here, right? 499 00:22:28,821 --> 00:22:30,573 I don't wanna see her. 500 00:22:32,783 --> 00:22:35,703 Fine. Don't listen to your mother. 501 00:22:35,786 --> 00:22:38,163 'Cause that always works out so well. 502 00:22:42,042 --> 00:22:44,920 So, listen... I got a guy. 503 00:22:45,003 --> 00:22:46,463 You are a guy. 504 00:22:46,546 --> 00:22:47,840 Suck my dick. 505 00:22:50,593 --> 00:22:53,095 He's comin' up the tunnel on Wednesday. He's gonna sell it for us. 506 00:22:53,178 --> 00:22:54,805 So we gotta get that shit to the greenhouse. 507 00:22:54,888 --> 00:22:57,140 So far, the best plan we've come up with 508 00:22:57,224 --> 00:22:59,476 is takin' it out one bag at a time up our snatches 509 00:22:59,559 --> 00:23:02,395 while the meth-heads take their afternoon naps, okay? 510 00:23:02,479 --> 00:23:04,813 And that plan has more holes in it than we have, doesn't it? 511 00:23:05,523 --> 00:23:08,694 All right, we need to space these pompoms out more evenly. 512 00:23:09,312 --> 00:23:11,488 I'm a wacky clown. I don't need symmetry. 513 00:23:11,571 --> 00:23:14,116 And you're stallin'. It's time. 514 00:23:14,199 --> 00:23:17,160 It's so pretty. I like looking at it. 515 00:23:17,244 --> 00:23:20,413 Yeah, well, say goodbye, 'cause come Wednesday, 516 00:23:20,497 --> 00:23:23,709 that shit is going down the tunnel and out into the world for sale... 517 00:23:23,792 --> 00:23:25,210 like a Romanian baby. 518 00:23:25,848 --> 00:23:27,254 This shit is happenin'. 519 00:23:30,674 --> 00:23:33,176 I take this ball of blue energy... 520 00:23:35,428 --> 00:23:37,305 and I pass it to you. 521 00:23:41,226 --> 00:23:43,979 I take this ball of blue energy and I pass it... 522 00:23:44,062 --> 00:23:45,773 You sure you want to do this, Red? 523 00:23:45,856 --> 00:23:48,859 I've only got two years left, Frieda. 524 00:23:48,942 --> 00:23:53,697 Compared to what I was looking at when I got here, that's so little time. 525 00:23:53,781 --> 00:23:55,991 I see the light at the end of the tunnel. 526 00:23:56,074 --> 00:23:57,409 So to speak. 527 00:23:57,492 --> 00:24:00,746 How much time we got before we have to rejoin the witch ladies? 528 00:24:00,829 --> 00:24:01,997 Oh, about a half hour. 529 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,042 It takes 'em forever to pass that ball around the circle. 530 00:24:05,125 --> 00:24:07,169 It drives Maxwell nuts. 531 00:24:07,252 --> 00:24:09,750 She smokes by the basketball courts till they're done. 532 00:24:09,752 --> 00:24:11,506 And this is okay with Caputo? 533 00:24:11,589 --> 00:24:16,380 Oh, it's a whole new world around here. A kinder, gentler Litchfield. 534 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,222 Wiccans get night walks on the full moon. 535 00:24:19,306 --> 00:24:22,225 Things that break get mostly fixed. 536 00:24:22,309 --> 00:24:26,271 I even hear people are getting out early. 537 00:24:26,354 --> 00:24:28,941 Uh, Sanchez in the kitchen, 538 00:24:29,024 --> 00:24:32,945 that, uh... that girl with the nostrils from grounds crew. 539 00:24:33,028 --> 00:24:34,487 All the more reason to do this. 540 00:24:34,571 --> 00:24:36,865 Are you sure? Are you really sure? 541 00:24:36,949 --> 00:24:39,117 We had a good thing goin' here, Red. 542 00:24:41,453 --> 00:24:42,705 I'm sure. 543 00:24:44,164 --> 00:24:45,665 Bye-bye, tunnel. 544 00:24:49,211 --> 00:24:51,463 And ye shall be free from slavery. 545 00:24:52,464 --> 00:24:55,508 And as a sign that ye be really free... 546 00:24:55,592 --> 00:24:58,053 ye shall be naked in thy rites. 547 00:24:58,136 --> 00:24:59,847 And ye shall dance... 548 00:25:00,973 --> 00:25:02,933 Wait, don't do that. 549 00:25:03,016 --> 00:25:04,411 It's metaphorical naked. 550 00:25:04,413 --> 00:25:07,102 I mean, we're passing around an invisible ball, for Christ's sake. 551 00:25:07,104 --> 00:25:09,314 I thought we didn't believe in Christ. 552 00:25:09,397 --> 00:25:10,774 Better hurry. 553 00:25:10,858 --> 00:25:12,359 Almost finished. 554 00:25:15,695 --> 00:25:17,865 You're a twisted fuck, aren't ya? 555 00:25:18,358 --> 00:25:20,117 Life is complex, huh? 556 00:25:20,617 --> 00:25:22,285 Let's rejoin the circle. 557 00:25:22,369 --> 00:25:24,955 I could use some energy, blue or otherwise. 558 00:25:27,323 --> 00:25:28,625 Healy, I wanna go home. 559 00:25:28,708 --> 00:25:30,668 You haven't answered my question. 560 00:25:30,753 --> 00:25:34,714 Why is Rogers here? I started Safe Place. 561 00:25:34,798 --> 00:25:37,801 These women trust me, okay? And I'm good at my job, Joe. 562 00:25:37,885 --> 00:25:40,345 She's here because she's needed. 563 00:25:40,428 --> 00:25:42,180 We never replaced Callahan. 564 00:25:42,264 --> 00:25:43,766 We all know Bailey is senile. 565 00:25:44,047 --> 00:25:47,895 For months, you're tellin' me how swamped you are, how overwhelmed. 566 00:25:47,978 --> 00:25:49,562 Okay, I take it back. I'm fine. 567 00:25:49,646 --> 00:25:51,774 Let her go. I've got it covered, okay? 568 00:25:52,912 --> 00:25:53,768 No. 569 00:25:55,568 --> 00:25:57,529 Fine, then she can have all the blacks and the crazies. 570 00:25:58,651 --> 00:25:59,366 Healy... 571 00:25:59,368 --> 00:26:01,491 Look, I've got a bad feeling about this one. 572 00:26:01,574 --> 00:26:03,618 She doesn't smell right, and I mean that literally. 573 00:26:03,620 --> 00:26:06,577 She's got a weird smell. Have you noticed that? 574 00:26:06,579 --> 00:26:07,552 Sam! 575 00:26:08,123 --> 00:26:09,792 She's here now. 576 00:26:09,875 --> 00:26:11,043 She's your coworker. 577 00:26:12,178 --> 00:26:15,140 Eh, be nice, be respectful. 578 00:26:16,423 --> 00:26:18,008 Come on, be a gentleman. 579 00:26:18,534 --> 00:26:20,510 Yes, my little gentleman. 580 00:26:20,722 --> 00:26:22,464 Gentleman Sam. 581 00:26:23,567 --> 00:26:24,902 Yes, and yes again! 582 00:26:25,255 --> 00:26:27,772 Because the angels have spoken to me... 583 00:26:28,143 --> 00:26:30,312 and they've told me their secrets. 584 00:26:31,771 --> 00:26:33,331 I brought you breakfast. 585 00:26:37,444 --> 00:26:39,196 Now it's a party! 586 00:26:39,279 --> 00:26:41,031 Come dance with Mommy. 587 00:26:48,522 --> 00:26:50,107 Is your mom coming? 588 00:26:51,124 --> 00:26:52,319 Are you kidding me? 589 00:26:53,001 --> 00:26:56,129 Carol is spending the day with her un-imprisoned children. 590 00:26:56,131 --> 00:26:57,132 Mmm. 591 00:27:00,300 --> 00:27:03,761 Diane would smack the shit out of me if she were still alive. 592 00:27:07,015 --> 00:27:10,076 She's probably looking down right now just... 593 00:27:11,353 --> 00:27:13,601 vomiting angel dust. 594 00:27:16,998 --> 00:27:19,032 I feel so stupid. 595 00:27:19,903 --> 00:27:21,628 You were living in Queens. 596 00:27:22,239 --> 00:27:25,075 I'm sure that made prison seem much more attractive. 597 00:27:26,576 --> 00:27:29,079 Every time I close my eyes, I relive that moment. 598 00:27:29,452 --> 00:27:31,289 Fuck up. Fuck up. 599 00:27:31,373 --> 00:27:32,329 Alex... 600 00:27:32,331 --> 00:27:35,042 I had a chance to make a life. 601 00:27:35,127 --> 00:27:37,170 Okay, you need to shut up. 602 00:27:43,510 --> 00:27:46,138 Oh, that's not hot when your snot drips in my mouth like that. 603 00:27:46,221 --> 00:27:47,222 - No? - No. 604 00:27:47,305 --> 00:27:49,432 - It's not your thing? - No, I don't like that. 605 00:27:49,516 --> 00:27:51,268 I thought you'd be into it. 606 00:27:51,351 --> 00:27:52,352 Mmm-mmm. 607 00:27:57,357 --> 00:27:58,984 I'm such an idiot. 608 00:27:59,067 --> 00:28:01,377 No, Alex... 609 00:28:02,905 --> 00:28:05,698 You have to stop. You have to. It wasn't your fault. 610 00:28:05,782 --> 00:28:07,334 Of course it was my fault! 611 00:28:07,910 --> 00:28:09,800 No one put that gun in my hand. 612 00:28:09,802 --> 00:28:11,589 - But you didn't know. - Fuck up! 613 00:28:11,704 --> 00:28:13,498 Alex, it wasn't you. 614 00:28:13,783 --> 00:28:15,034 It wasn't you. 615 00:28:18,003 --> 00:28:19,171 It... 616 00:28:28,430 --> 00:28:29,973 It was the system. 617 00:28:32,935 --> 00:28:34,269 You got caught... 618 00:28:35,603 --> 00:28:37,189 in the system. 619 00:28:38,731 --> 00:28:42,360 I'm just a fly in the web of the prison industrial complex? 620 00:28:42,444 --> 00:28:44,029 Christ. 621 00:28:44,112 --> 00:28:46,448 But at least we're in the same web, right? 622 00:28:48,450 --> 00:28:50,327 I mean, at least we're in it together. 623 00:28:52,579 --> 00:28:53,663 Yeah. 624 00:28:54,998 --> 00:28:56,333 At least we're in it together. 625 00:28:56,416 --> 00:28:57,667 Ladies! 626 00:28:57,750 --> 00:28:59,877 Get the heck out of there right now! 627 00:28:59,962 --> 00:29:02,672 You're out of bounds! Count's in five! 628 00:29:03,966 --> 00:29:06,343 I know you're back there! I'm not an idiot! 629 00:29:06,426 --> 00:29:09,221 Out now! You're both gettin' shots! 630 00:29:21,899 --> 00:29:23,485 Place is goin' to hell. 631 00:29:23,568 --> 00:29:25,695 Hands off! And fingers off! 632 00:29:25,778 --> 00:29:28,448 Back away from the table! And nobody touch me. 633 00:29:28,531 --> 00:29:30,951 If anybody touches me, you don't go in. 634 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,122 You are all expected to behave. 635 00:29:35,205 --> 00:29:37,915 Anyone not behaving will be sent back home. 636 00:29:38,387 --> 00:29:40,627 All caregivers must be reachable 637 00:29:40,710 --> 00:29:44,381 in case your children you've checked in need to be sent back out. 638 00:29:45,423 --> 00:29:46,799 Welcome to the fun zone. 639 00:29:47,157 --> 00:29:48,659 Mother's last name? 640 00:29:48,677 --> 00:29:51,012 I think you know it. How you doin', my friend? 641 00:29:51,846 --> 00:29:53,140 Fine. Fine. 642 00:29:53,223 --> 00:29:55,350 Yeah? Glad to hear it. 643 00:29:55,433 --> 00:29:57,394 So, listen, I got a couple of your baby's aunts and uncle here. 644 00:29:57,477 --> 00:29:58,853 Hey, can you please keep it down? 645 00:29:58,936 --> 00:30:00,563 Stop sweatin' it, bro. Nobody's listenin'. 646 00:30:01,523 --> 00:30:02,524 Uh, names? 647 00:30:02,607 --> 00:30:04,484 You're gonna have to learn these soon, too, hermano. 648 00:30:04,567 --> 00:30:09,031 Eva, Lucy, Christina, and that's Emiliano. 649 00:30:09,895 --> 00:30:11,158 So, listen, you should come by the house soon, 650 00:30:11,241 --> 00:30:12,284 you know, get to know us. 651 00:30:12,367 --> 00:30:15,703 I'm not just busting balls, okay? You're family now. 652 00:30:16,061 --> 00:30:17,580 - Okay, here are your badges. - Have a nice day. 653 00:30:17,664 --> 00:30:18,706 All right, go ahead, kids. 654 00:30:18,790 --> 00:30:21,126 Go give your mother a big hug and a kiss for me. 655 00:30:21,209 --> 00:30:22,335 And Emiliano... 656 00:30:22,419 --> 00:30:24,671 no tongue, you little perv. 657 00:30:25,797 --> 00:30:27,174 Happy Mother's Day, Johnny boy. 658 00:30:43,148 --> 00:30:44,441 This blows! 659 00:30:54,168 --> 00:30:57,504 Hey, Warren! You know you're not allowed out there. 660 00:30:57,704 --> 00:31:00,790 Yeah, but I made a kite, Mr. Healy. Kids love kites. 661 00:31:00,873 --> 00:31:03,085 That may be true, but you've been banned 662 00:31:03,168 --> 00:31:05,753 from interacting with the children, and you know that. 663 00:31:05,837 --> 00:31:07,755 Yeah, that was last year. 664 00:31:07,839 --> 00:31:11,801 And this is a kite, not Chinese jump rope. 665 00:31:12,149 --> 00:31:14,011 The answer is no, Warren. 666 00:31:15,184 --> 00:31:18,380 Now, you're not to step foot outside of this building. 667 00:31:19,059 --> 00:31:20,060 Is that clear? 668 00:31:21,478 --> 00:31:22,604 Yes, sir. 669 00:31:39,704 --> 00:31:42,249 Everyone needs to back up and line up. 670 00:31:42,639 --> 00:31:44,376 Okay, okay, who's first? 671 00:31:44,947 --> 00:31:46,336 Where's the stick? 672 00:31:46,419 --> 00:31:47,545 Sticks? We can't give 'em sticks. 673 00:31:47,839 --> 00:31:49,422 How are they supposed to break the piñata? 674 00:31:49,506 --> 00:31:51,299 I don't know. Punch it, I guess. 675 00:31:51,383 --> 00:31:53,551 Give it a good shot in the side, work out their anger. 676 00:31:53,635 --> 00:31:55,637 They're having fun. They're not angry. 677 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:56,888 Sure they are. 678 00:31:56,978 --> 00:32:00,532 Hey, kid, your mother is in prison. 679 00:32:00,792 --> 00:32:01,726 Pummel the piñata. 680 00:32:02,336 --> 00:32:03,301 Jab, jab. 681 00:32:09,134 --> 00:32:10,347 Hit it. 682 00:32:11,270 --> 00:32:12,546 All right. 683 00:32:16,116 --> 00:32:18,493 No, you look really good! 684 00:32:18,576 --> 00:32:20,245 You could, like, leave here and go straight to 685 00:32:20,328 --> 00:32:22,539 a My Chemical Romance concert and be the balls. 686 00:32:23,915 --> 00:32:28,420 You missed! Next! Loser. 687 00:32:28,503 --> 00:32:30,588 Why you being so fuckin' mean, man? They're kids. 688 00:32:30,672 --> 00:32:34,342 Number one, they miss, mo' candy for me. 689 00:32:34,426 --> 00:32:36,178 And number two, I don't like kids. 690 00:32:37,011 --> 00:32:39,055 I don't like mamas, neither, for that matter. 691 00:32:39,139 --> 00:32:40,515 Mine thinks I'm shit. 692 00:32:40,598 --> 00:32:42,809 Well, fuck her. I'm done with mama. 693 00:32:42,892 --> 00:32:45,145 - I'm done with stand-ins for mamas. - Mmm. 694 00:32:45,228 --> 00:32:47,522 I am parent-free and proud. 695 00:32:47,998 --> 00:32:49,899 Yeah, well, I liked my moms. 696 00:32:49,901 --> 00:32:51,528 Well, lucky you. 697 00:32:51,693 --> 00:32:52,860 Oh, come on. 698 00:32:52,944 --> 00:32:55,547 Maybe when mine dies, I'll like her better. 699 00:32:55,863 --> 00:32:57,459 A'ight, next! 700 00:32:57,949 --> 00:32:59,305 Shit. 701 00:32:59,903 --> 00:33:03,193 Simon says deep breath in. 702 00:33:04,041 --> 00:33:06,833 Simon says deep breath out. 703 00:33:06,916 --> 00:33:07,917 Hands in the air. 704 00:33:09,961 --> 00:33:11,838 Chang, Simon didn't say that. 705 00:33:11,921 --> 00:33:13,506 But that's okay. 706 00:33:13,590 --> 00:33:17,677 I encourage you all to follow your own path. 707 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,721 What you in for? 708 00:33:19,804 --> 00:33:22,515 Simon says tug at your ear. 709 00:33:22,599 --> 00:33:25,059 Tug at your other ear. 710 00:33:25,142 --> 00:33:28,355 Simon says wiggle your hips. 711 00:33:28,438 --> 00:33:30,565 Simon says hop on one foot! 712 00:33:30,648 --> 00:33:33,360 - Duck. - Simon says wiggle your hips. 713 00:33:33,443 --> 00:33:35,403 - Duck. - Jump up in the air! 714 00:33:35,487 --> 00:33:37,405 - Simon says turn around. - Duck. 715 00:33:37,489 --> 00:33:39,657 - Don't turn around. - Goose. 716 00:33:39,741 --> 00:33:42,702 Simon says hands on your head. 717 00:33:44,036 --> 00:33:46,792 - Simon says hands on your knees. - Duck... 718 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,005 Use his shirt like a paper towel. 719 00:33:49,088 --> 00:33:50,464 He loves it. 720 00:33:50,548 --> 00:33:53,968 One, two, three, go. 721 00:33:57,138 --> 00:33:59,182 Yo, hey, hey! Get out... Get out of here! 722 00:33:59,265 --> 00:34:01,100 Get out of here! 723 00:34:01,184 --> 00:34:03,812 You! You better get out of here! Where's your mother, boy? 724 00:34:03,895 --> 00:34:05,675 Get out of here! 725 00:34:05,677 --> 00:34:08,093 I don't understand. Why isn't your brother here? 726 00:34:09,067 --> 00:34:10,586 He says it's for babies. 727 00:34:11,069 --> 00:34:13,629 I haven't seen him in two and a half years. 728 00:34:15,824 --> 00:34:18,534 Look at you. You got a mustache? 729 00:34:18,617 --> 00:34:20,411 Jesus. 730 00:34:20,494 --> 00:34:21,579 You got hair everywhere? 731 00:34:21,662 --> 00:34:22,746 Oh, Mom! 732 00:34:22,831 --> 00:34:25,075 Never mind. Don't answer that. I can't... 733 00:34:25,666 --> 00:34:27,210 It's good to see you. 734 00:34:27,293 --> 00:34:28,627 You, too. 735 00:34:28,711 --> 00:34:29,949 Lourdes treating you good? 736 00:34:30,036 --> 00:34:32,131 We're fine. She and Benny fight a lot. 737 00:34:32,215 --> 00:34:35,386 They had a crazy one when he got suspended from school last week. 738 00:34:36,183 --> 00:34:37,351 What'd he get suspended for? 739 00:34:37,434 --> 00:34:38,602 Cutting class. 740 00:34:39,222 --> 00:34:41,390 So, he misses school and they make him miss more school, 741 00:34:41,474 --> 00:34:42,892 that makes no sense. 742 00:34:42,976 --> 00:34:45,561 Jesus, what the hell? Cutting class. 743 00:34:45,644 --> 00:34:46,896 You know what? 744 00:34:46,980 --> 00:34:48,982 You tell him that he needs to get his little delinquent ass 745 00:34:49,065 --> 00:34:51,775 over here next week for visitation, you got that? 746 00:34:51,860 --> 00:34:52,986 Okay. 747 00:34:55,559 --> 00:34:56,768 I'm sorry, papi. 748 00:34:57,698 --> 00:34:59,450 - You're here, right? - Yeah. 749 00:34:59,452 --> 00:35:01,796 Yeah, let's talk about you, huh? 750 00:35:02,829 --> 00:35:05,373 What you been up to for the last 30 months? Fun things? 751 00:35:06,374 --> 00:35:09,002 All right, next. 752 00:35:09,085 --> 00:35:11,212 Yeah, I'm glad you're here. 753 00:35:11,295 --> 00:35:13,756 - You was just here. - You made my day. 754 00:35:15,133 --> 00:35:18,094 She made it. Next. 755 00:35:18,177 --> 00:35:21,389 Grandma's not a clown. This is eye shadow. 756 00:35:21,472 --> 00:35:23,224 Grandma put on a face for you. 757 00:35:23,307 --> 00:35:26,477 Please, I'm gorgeous. 758 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,729 I know what you're saying, but... 759 00:35:44,620 --> 00:35:47,498 - All right, honey, take a little spritz. - Mmm-mmm. 760 00:35:47,581 --> 00:35:50,960 What, no? Be a filthy animal. Who raised you, huh? 761 00:35:51,044 --> 00:35:52,086 Oh, hi, Annette. 762 00:35:53,448 --> 00:35:55,893 There you go. Wipe front to back, throw it in the trash. 763 00:35:56,007 --> 00:35:57,091 Thank you very much. 764 00:35:57,175 --> 00:35:58,509 This is a nice setup you got here. 765 00:35:58,592 --> 00:35:59,677 Oh, you. 766 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,805 You are so lucky you are in electrical. 767 00:36:02,889 --> 00:36:04,515 Listen, you want my company or not? 768 00:36:04,957 --> 00:36:07,060 Yes, I do. Sit her down. 769 00:36:07,143 --> 00:36:08,602 - All right. - Yeah. 770 00:36:09,728 --> 00:36:10,939 Look at this shit, right? 771 00:36:11,022 --> 00:36:13,191 I mean, look at this, with these fuckin' kids. 772 00:36:13,274 --> 00:36:14,400 Oh, they're everywhere. 773 00:36:14,483 --> 00:36:15,526 I hate kids. 774 00:36:15,609 --> 00:36:17,736 You know, they don't drink, they haven't traveled. 775 00:36:19,322 --> 00:36:21,240 It's nasty in there. You might wanna hold your breath. 776 00:36:21,324 --> 00:36:23,159 Hey, can I talk to you? 777 00:36:24,243 --> 00:36:26,306 Um, I mean, I can wait till you're finished. 778 00:36:26,913 --> 00:36:29,457 This mad juju that you and Gloria do... 779 00:36:30,416 --> 00:36:31,788 how does it work? 780 00:36:32,501 --> 00:36:33,920 I'm really missing someone. 781 00:36:40,218 --> 00:36:42,511 Is the baby gonna live with us? 782 00:36:42,595 --> 00:36:43,700 Um... 783 00:36:44,347 --> 00:36:45,533 We'll see. 784 00:36:46,182 --> 00:36:47,475 "We'll see"? 785 00:36:47,558 --> 00:36:48,642 What the fuck is that? 786 00:36:49,282 --> 00:36:50,894 I'm gonna be a tía. 787 00:36:50,913 --> 00:36:52,039 Hey. 788 00:36:52,188 --> 00:36:53,473 Hi, there. 789 00:36:53,475 --> 00:36:54,852 Everyone having fun? 790 00:36:58,511 --> 00:37:00,858 Um, I have a Mother's Day joke. 791 00:37:01,405 --> 00:37:04,325 How come computers are so smart? 792 00:37:04,408 --> 00:37:05,909 It's 'cause they listen to their motherboards. 793 00:37:08,287 --> 00:37:09,956 Do you get it? That's what they call the... 794 00:37:10,039 --> 00:37:11,290 It's the board thingy in the computer. 795 00:37:11,374 --> 00:37:14,377 I think it's, like, what all the circuits are... attached to. 796 00:37:15,419 --> 00:37:17,783 It's motherboard, 'cause... 797 00:37:20,967 --> 00:37:22,225 All right, well, anyway, have a... 798 00:37:23,011 --> 00:37:24,951 have a great afternoon, so... 799 00:37:31,352 --> 00:37:32,853 CO Bennett, let's chat. 800 00:37:34,563 --> 00:37:36,440 When are you gonna learn to leave well enough alone? 801 00:37:36,524 --> 00:37:38,234 We were just talking. 802 00:37:38,317 --> 00:37:41,237 I do you a solid and sweep everything under the carpet, 803 00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:42,989 and you go around lifting up the corners. 804 00:37:43,072 --> 00:37:45,949 "Hey, everybody, look, look. Look what I got under here." 805 00:37:46,034 --> 00:37:48,494 Okay, respectfully, sir, I'm pretty sure you did yourself a solid. 806 00:37:50,121 --> 00:37:54,244 You think you're the only one ever to be tempted by an inmate? 807 00:37:54,667 --> 00:37:58,296 You think I never saw a tight piece sitting in my office chair crying, 808 00:37:58,379 --> 00:38:00,131 tears covering her khaki-covered tits, 809 00:38:00,214 --> 00:38:02,966 and thought, "I could bend that over my inbox"? 810 00:38:03,518 --> 00:38:06,095 A lesser man would be using this place 811 00:38:06,179 --> 00:38:09,682 as his own personal pussy smorgasbord, 812 00:38:09,765 --> 00:38:12,435 every fucking color, shape, size. 813 00:38:12,518 --> 00:38:14,805 Around the world without ever leaving upstate. 814 00:38:15,104 --> 00:38:16,480 But I am not a lesser man. 815 00:38:17,690 --> 00:38:19,567 When those feelings come on me, you know what I do? 816 00:38:19,650 --> 00:38:20,693 Please don't tell me. 817 00:38:20,776 --> 00:38:23,196 I take care of my fucking self. 818 00:38:23,566 --> 00:38:25,364 - Do you know what I'm saying? - I'm pretty sure I do. 819 00:38:25,448 --> 00:38:26,490 I spank it out, Bennett. 820 00:38:26,574 --> 00:38:27,825 Uh, it's... 821 00:38:27,908 --> 00:38:30,536 And for the love of Pete, I suggest you do the same... 822 00:38:30,619 --> 00:38:34,248 like decent men have been doing since time immemorial. 823 00:38:36,792 --> 00:38:40,796 Me and Diaz, it's about more than sex... sir. 824 00:38:43,006 --> 00:38:44,717 Just stay away from her, okay? 825 00:38:45,759 --> 00:38:47,220 Poor, deluded fuck. 826 00:38:47,303 --> 00:38:48,429 What'd you say? 827 00:38:52,641 --> 00:38:55,606 I mean, I just feel bad because it's her day, you know? 828 00:38:55,852 --> 00:38:58,481 And she's just sitting in the car while I'm here. 829 00:38:58,564 --> 00:39:00,274 I didn't mean to steal your mom's day. 830 00:39:00,597 --> 00:39:02,818 Yeah, well, I don't need another mother. 831 00:39:04,445 --> 00:39:05,819 I get that. 832 00:39:06,197 --> 00:39:08,491 So, how are things with the good pastor? 833 00:39:08,574 --> 00:39:10,033 He makin' your mom happy? 834 00:39:10,118 --> 00:39:11,277 Yeah, I guess. 835 00:39:11,595 --> 00:39:13,412 How about you? Gettin' along? 836 00:39:13,990 --> 00:39:15,706 Well, he taught me how to shave. 837 00:39:16,707 --> 00:39:18,194 What'd he say about that? 838 00:39:18,709 --> 00:39:22,045 He tell you to go down, shave with the grain? 839 00:39:22,130 --> 00:39:24,465 No, up and against the grain. 840 00:39:24,548 --> 00:39:25,924 That ain't how you do it. 841 00:39:26,008 --> 00:39:27,635 Well, that's what he told me. 842 00:39:27,718 --> 00:39:29,095 Well, I know better. 843 00:39:29,178 --> 00:39:30,388 Now, who you gonna listen to, 844 00:39:30,471 --> 00:39:33,474 someone who just shaves his face or someone who shaves everywhere? 845 00:39:33,699 --> 00:39:34,975 Ew. 846 00:39:38,396 --> 00:39:40,686 You think that baby over there is cuter than my girl? 847 00:39:40,688 --> 00:39:41,689 Ay, please. 848 00:39:41,976 --> 00:39:44,860 You have the prettiest bebecita here, after mine. 849 00:39:44,943 --> 00:39:46,028 I know. 850 00:39:48,781 --> 00:39:50,449 Ay, look at her. 851 00:39:50,533 --> 00:39:52,410 She looks terrified. 852 00:39:52,493 --> 00:39:54,245 - Oh, she'll come around. - Mmm-hmm. 853 00:39:54,328 --> 00:39:57,165 I mean, what's more beautiful than having a baby? 854 00:39:57,248 --> 00:39:58,666 Making a life? 855 00:39:58,749 --> 00:40:00,126 The smell of their heads, 856 00:40:00,209 --> 00:40:02,878 the way they put their whole weight on you when they fall asleep. 857 00:40:02,961 --> 00:40:04,505 She's gonna fall in love, and then she'll be fine. 858 00:40:04,588 --> 00:40:05,839 Mmm-hmm. 859 00:40:06,676 --> 00:40:09,552 Ay, chica, you got a little something on your shirt there. 860 00:40:09,635 --> 00:40:12,721 - What is that? Piss or shit? - Oh, it smells like shit. 861 00:40:12,805 --> 00:40:16,184 Oh, my God! This is so disgusting! 862 00:40:17,643 --> 00:40:19,562 - Here, take it! Take it! - Eh? 863 00:40:19,645 --> 00:40:20,979 So gross! 864 00:40:21,063 --> 00:40:22,898 Hey, what am I supposed to do with this baby? 865 00:40:22,981 --> 00:40:24,066 Give it to my sister! 866 00:40:25,984 --> 00:40:27,820 Okay, this is gettin' ridiculous. 867 00:40:27,903 --> 00:40:29,947 Kids, stand back. 868 00:40:50,884 --> 00:40:52,178 - There's no candy. - Where's the candy? 869 00:40:52,261 --> 00:40:53,554 - It's empty. - Oh, my God. 870 00:40:53,637 --> 00:40:55,681 This is such a metaphor for their lives. 871 00:40:55,764 --> 00:40:56,765 Didn't you put it in? 872 00:40:56,849 --> 00:40:58,309 I wasn't supposed to put it in. 873 00:40:58,392 --> 00:41:01,103 And I was. Oh, jeez. It's probably still in the van. 874 00:41:01,187 --> 00:41:03,314 Well, no point getting it now. There's nothing to put it in. 875 00:41:03,397 --> 00:41:04,290 I'll take it. 876 00:41:04,773 --> 00:41:07,109 What's a piñata without candy? 877 00:41:18,098 --> 00:41:21,185 So, aside from the fact that he don't know how to shave, 878 00:41:21,457 --> 00:41:23,417 I am kind of happy you have a man around. 879 00:41:24,460 --> 00:41:25,919 Does he give you advice about girls and stuff? 880 00:41:26,003 --> 00:41:28,672 His advice about girls was... 881 00:41:28,756 --> 00:41:29,923 "Wait until marriage." 882 00:41:30,007 --> 00:41:31,967 Good Lord, one of those. 883 00:41:33,051 --> 00:41:34,303 Now, you want some real advice? 884 00:41:34,387 --> 00:41:36,889 From my second mom or my used-to-be dad? 885 00:41:37,355 --> 00:41:40,183 From former man to current man. 886 00:41:41,184 --> 00:41:44,605 Now, when I was your age, my dad told me, 887 00:41:44,709 --> 00:41:48,143 "Find a real insecure girl and practice on her. 888 00:41:48,786 --> 00:41:50,913 That way, when you meet a girl you really like, 889 00:41:51,069 --> 00:41:52,477 you'll be good at it." 890 00:41:53,112 --> 00:41:56,471 And you really wanna be a lady in a world where men do that? 891 00:41:57,910 --> 00:41:59,453 God help me, I do. 892 00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:02,415 And you're never tight again. 893 00:42:02,498 --> 00:42:05,270 I mean, you could work it back a little, but... 894 00:42:05,746 --> 00:42:08,254 it's never the same after you've torn that shit up. 895 00:42:08,337 --> 00:42:10,548 And you'll always pee yourself a little when you sneeze, 896 00:42:10,631 --> 00:42:12,215 and you never really sleep again. 897 00:42:13,509 --> 00:42:15,093 You got anything good to say about it? 898 00:42:15,378 --> 00:42:17,005 I just want you to be prepared. 899 00:42:18,180 --> 00:42:20,599 I mean, it's not all bad. You end up with a baby. 900 00:42:21,136 --> 00:42:22,560 It just ruins your life is all. 901 00:42:24,312 --> 00:42:25,563 You sayin' I ruined your life? 902 00:42:25,646 --> 00:42:26,934 Of course. 903 00:42:27,356 --> 00:42:29,358 The day you was born was the end. 904 00:42:31,652 --> 00:42:33,612 She's just so perfect. 905 00:42:35,698 --> 00:42:39,980 How could anythin' be bad... if we made somethin' like this? 906 00:42:47,710 --> 00:42:50,624 Anyone seen what's-her-name, the little one? 907 00:42:51,088 --> 00:42:52,476 She was getting me punch. 908 00:42:52,613 --> 00:42:54,141 I haven't seen her for a while. 909 00:42:55,551 --> 00:42:56,802 Go look for your sister. 910 00:42:57,953 --> 00:42:59,289 Lucy? 911 00:43:02,143 --> 00:43:03,186 Lucy! 912 00:43:03,454 --> 00:43:05,060 Go look for your sister. 913 00:43:07,938 --> 00:43:10,273 Now, this is nice. Mmm. 914 00:43:10,358 --> 00:43:12,109 This makes me happy. 915 00:43:13,652 --> 00:43:14,778 Happy Mother's Day, Ma. 916 00:43:14,862 --> 00:43:16,530 Happy Mother's Day. 917 00:43:16,614 --> 00:43:17,698 Your head. 918 00:43:17,781 --> 00:43:19,241 Your beautiful face. 919 00:43:19,325 --> 00:43:22,453 Yes. Well, now it's interesting. 920 00:43:22,536 --> 00:43:26,832 Ma... so, you ready for things to get goin' again? 921 00:43:27,583 --> 00:43:29,351 I got a brand new LED headlamp. 922 00:43:30,210 --> 00:43:32,295 I think we're going to take a little break, darling. 923 00:43:33,023 --> 00:43:34,507 Actually, a long one. 924 00:43:35,391 --> 00:43:37,435 It's too much to think about. 925 00:43:37,843 --> 00:43:40,934 I need to think about the future, getting out, 926 00:43:41,042 --> 00:43:43,391 getting back to my life, my home... 927 00:43:43,732 --> 00:43:44,767 the market. 928 00:43:48,729 --> 00:43:50,188 I need to look forward. 929 00:43:50,272 --> 00:43:51,357 Yeah. 930 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,194 Who's minding the store today? 931 00:43:56,278 --> 00:43:57,530 What you mean, Ma? 932 00:43:57,613 --> 00:43:59,657 What I mean is, it's Mother's Day. 933 00:43:59,740 --> 00:44:01,534 That's always been a big day for us. 934 00:44:01,617 --> 00:44:03,744 Platters, baskets... 935 00:44:03,827 --> 00:44:06,121 We closed for today. 936 00:44:06,204 --> 00:44:08,040 Came to see you instead. 937 00:44:08,850 --> 00:44:10,584 We can afford to do that? 938 00:44:10,668 --> 00:44:11,713 Yeah. 939 00:44:12,461 --> 00:44:14,963 It's fine. It's okay. 940 00:44:19,677 --> 00:44:21,178 Hey. Hey, hey, hey. What's goin' on? 941 00:44:21,261 --> 00:44:22,345 Lucy's missing. 942 00:44:22,430 --> 00:44:23,597 - Oh, Jesus. - Oh. 943 00:44:23,681 --> 00:44:25,265 No, stop. What are you doing? 944 00:44:25,348 --> 00:44:26,392 I gotta call it in. 945 00:44:26,475 --> 00:44:27,601 If you call it in, they're gonna pull the alarm. 946 00:44:27,685 --> 00:44:30,228 The day's over for everybody. She's here someplace. 947 00:44:30,312 --> 00:44:32,440 Let me look a little more. 948 00:44:32,523 --> 00:44:34,983 Okay, look, 20 minutes, okay? And then I gotta call it in. 949 00:44:35,067 --> 00:44:36,151 All right. 950 00:44:37,736 --> 00:44:38,779 In the name of Jesus, 951 00:44:38,862 --> 00:44:40,864 I ask that the souls of my unborn babies 952 00:44:40,948 --> 00:44:44,159 be considered to enter the Holy Kingdom, 953 00:44:44,242 --> 00:44:47,037 even though they never had a chance to get baptized 954 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:48,330 'cause I was wicked 955 00:44:49,331 --> 00:44:50,708 and I got 'em sucked out... 956 00:44:52,042 --> 00:44:53,418 'cause I was weak... 957 00:44:54,503 --> 00:44:55,838 and I didn't know any better. 958 00:44:57,172 --> 00:44:58,716 And I'm sorry. 959 00:45:03,386 --> 00:45:06,521 I'm sorry that I never got to be your mama. 960 00:45:06,523 --> 00:45:09,262 Little Blake and Bonnie... 961 00:45:10,519 --> 00:45:13,090 Boyd, Bethany... 962 00:45:14,397 --> 00:45:15,398 Braeden... 963 00:45:17,192 --> 00:45:19,027 and even you, little Buddy Jr. 964 00:45:20,195 --> 00:45:22,405 I see we're fond of the "B" names. 965 00:45:23,866 --> 00:45:25,242 Yeah, I always liked that letter. 966 00:45:26,451 --> 00:45:28,871 It's like a whole little graveyard here. 967 00:45:30,247 --> 00:45:32,165 Yeah, these are all my unborn babies. 968 00:45:32,249 --> 00:45:33,247 Ooh. 969 00:45:33,751 --> 00:45:37,129 ♪ She got the Mother's Day blues ♪ 970 00:45:39,006 --> 00:45:40,758 Jesus, you look like the Angel of Death. 971 00:45:40,841 --> 00:45:41,967 I get that a lot. 972 00:45:43,260 --> 00:45:45,513 Yeah, I'm goin' to hell. I know it. 973 00:45:45,596 --> 00:45:47,347 I mean, even though I was saved and everything, 974 00:45:47,430 --> 00:45:48,849 I just... 975 00:45:48,932 --> 00:45:51,476 They never even had a chance, you know? 976 00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:53,979 Son, you gotta let go of that shit. 977 00:45:54,282 --> 00:45:55,438 It's easy for you to say. 978 00:45:55,523 --> 00:45:58,066 I'm guessing you ain't never had to abort nobody. 979 00:45:58,150 --> 00:45:59,735 A bold assumption. 980 00:46:01,153 --> 00:46:04,322 You ever read a book called Freakonomics? 981 00:46:04,347 --> 00:46:05,474 No. 982 00:46:05,734 --> 00:46:07,993 What's it about, bearded ladies and midgets? 983 00:46:07,995 --> 00:46:11,458 Close. It's about economic theory, cause and effect. 984 00:46:12,623 --> 00:46:13,707 Sounds boring. 985 00:46:13,791 --> 00:46:15,730 Mmm. It's actually a pretty good read. 986 00:46:16,350 --> 00:46:18,045 They have this chapter in it, 987 00:46:18,128 --> 00:46:20,047 "Where Have All the Criminals Gone?" 988 00:46:21,632 --> 00:46:22,841 Over there in that field. 989 00:46:24,426 --> 00:46:26,469 You know, in the 1990s, 990 00:46:26,554 --> 00:46:29,181 crime fell spectacularly, 991 00:46:29,264 --> 00:46:32,671 and this book attributes that to the passing of Roe v. Wade. 992 00:46:32,935 --> 00:46:34,562 The Darkness of '73. 993 00:46:34,645 --> 00:46:37,105 The exact opposite, actually. 994 00:46:37,189 --> 00:46:39,858 I mean, the abortions that occurred after Roe v. Wade... 995 00:46:39,942 --> 00:46:41,819 These were children that weren't wanted. 996 00:46:41,902 --> 00:46:45,030 Children who, if their mothers had been forced to have them, 997 00:46:45,113 --> 00:46:48,033 would've grown up poor and neglected and abused, 998 00:46:48,116 --> 00:46:52,204 the three most important ingredients when one is making a felon. 999 00:46:52,287 --> 00:46:53,956 But they were never born. 1000 00:46:54,039 --> 00:46:55,498 So, 20 years later, 1001 00:46:55,583 --> 00:46:58,543 when they would've been of prime crime age, 1002 00:46:58,627 --> 00:47:00,045 they weren't there. 1003 00:47:00,128 --> 00:47:02,047 And the crime rate... 1004 00:47:02,130 --> 00:47:04,007 Dropped dramatically. 1005 00:47:04,091 --> 00:47:06,134 - What's your point? - Well, my point is that 1006 00:47:06,218 --> 00:47:08,846 you were a meth-head, white-trash piece of shit, 1007 00:47:08,929 --> 00:47:10,263 and your children, had they been born, 1008 00:47:10,347 --> 00:47:12,725 would have been meth-head, white-trash pieces of shit. 1009 00:47:12,808 --> 00:47:14,893 So by terminating those pregnancies, 1010 00:47:14,977 --> 00:47:19,022 you spared society the scourge of your offspring. 1011 00:47:19,106 --> 00:47:22,067 I mean, when you think about it, it's... a blessing. 1012 00:47:23,110 --> 00:47:25,570 Never thought about it that way. 1013 00:47:25,654 --> 00:47:27,322 Well, maybe you should, hmm? 1014 00:47:27,405 --> 00:47:29,199 Maybe you should stop punishing yourself. 1015 00:47:29,282 --> 00:47:30,993 I mean, what does a good mother do? 1016 00:47:31,076 --> 00:47:33,495 A good mother does what's best for her children. 1017 00:47:33,578 --> 00:47:35,914 And maybe what was best for your children 1018 00:47:35,998 --> 00:47:39,209 was wipin' 'em out before they had to lead miserable fucking lives. 1019 00:47:43,714 --> 00:47:44,882 Yeah. 1020 00:47:44,965 --> 00:47:46,424 Maybe. 1021 00:47:46,426 --> 00:47:48,426 It makes me feel a little better, actually. 1022 00:47:49,887 --> 00:47:52,014 Good, then I've done my job. 1023 00:47:52,097 --> 00:47:54,404 "Clown cheers crowd." 1024 00:47:57,853 --> 00:47:58,854 Lucy? 1025 00:48:00,230 --> 00:48:01,231 Lucy! 1026 00:48:02,274 --> 00:48:04,026 Where the fuck are you? 1027 00:48:13,326 --> 00:48:16,009 Motherfuckers. They couldn't wait? 1028 00:48:21,752 --> 00:48:23,754 I want to stay with Daya. 1029 00:48:23,837 --> 00:48:25,630 You're in so much fucking trouble. 1030 00:48:25,714 --> 00:48:27,174 Everybody, on the ground! 1031 00:48:28,676 --> 00:48:29,802 Get down! Right where you are! 1032 00:48:29,885 --> 00:48:31,469 Get down on the ground! 1033 00:48:32,888 --> 00:48:34,514 - Get down! - Mommy, get up! 1034 00:48:35,390 --> 00:48:37,642 Everyone out of those porta-potties now! 1035 00:48:37,726 --> 00:48:38,727 Fuck. 1036 00:48:39,728 --> 00:48:40,896 We're on our way. 1037 00:48:40,979 --> 00:48:43,648 - Mommy, get up! - Do I get on the ground? 1038 00:48:43,732 --> 00:48:45,818 - Mama, what's happening? Get up. - It's okay. Mommy's fine. 1039 00:48:45,901 --> 00:48:48,153 - Is everything okay? - Stay down until we tell you! 1040 00:49:01,859 --> 00:49:02,860 Good day? 1041 00:49:02,862 --> 00:49:04,071 So good. 1042 00:49:05,378 --> 00:49:07,756 Yads, thank you for bringing her. 1043 00:49:08,476 --> 00:49:11,051 Okay, all right, mami. 1044 00:49:11,367 --> 00:49:13,303 I'll see you next week. 1045 00:49:14,387 --> 00:49:15,555 I don't think so. 1046 00:49:15,638 --> 00:49:17,265 "I don't think so"? What do you mean, "I don't think so"? 1047 00:49:17,349 --> 00:49:20,268 She's getting bigger. She's startin' to understand things. 1048 00:49:20,915 --> 00:49:21,788 I've been reading... 1049 00:49:23,014 --> 00:49:24,270 I don't want her seeing her mother in prison, 1050 00:49:24,272 --> 00:49:25,440 thinkin' this is normal. 1051 00:49:27,650 --> 00:49:29,194 It's best we cut this off right now. 1052 00:49:29,277 --> 00:49:30,362 What are you talkin' about? 1053 00:49:30,904 --> 00:49:33,031 Ruiz, you move it along. 1054 00:49:33,115 --> 00:49:34,574 What do you mean, "Cut this off"? 1055 00:49:34,855 --> 00:49:36,451 - You gonna walk away from me? - Sorry, Maria. 1056 00:49:36,534 --> 00:49:38,120 What, I don't have a choice in this? 1057 00:49:38,203 --> 00:49:39,913 Yadri... Wait! Wait! 1058 00:49:39,997 --> 00:49:40,998 Yadriel! 1059 00:49:41,081 --> 00:49:43,751 Yadriel! Yadriel! Coño! 1060 00:49:43,834 --> 00:49:45,002 Yadriel! 1061 00:49:45,085 --> 00:49:47,212 Oh, my... Fuck! 1062 00:50:39,124 --> 00:50:42,463 _ 1063 00:50:53,779 --> 00:50:55,779 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com