1 00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:18,139 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA www.PSArips.com 2 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,749 "In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. 3 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:32,674 "In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. " 4 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,632 Words from the late, great Michael Jackson. 5 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,475 Chapel will open at 8 :. 00. 6 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:44,078 Today's order of services is Catholic, Evangelical, 7 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,795 Wiccan, Baptist, other, and Muslim. 8 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,558 Enjoy your Sunday. 9 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,631 You d id n't eat breakfast. Most i m portant meal of the day. 10 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:25,839 Start your engine right. 11 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:26,909 Thanks. I'll... 12 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,349 Thanks. 13 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,910 Fine. Run on fumes. 14 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,118 I'm doing the 4-Hour Body. 15 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,033 I don't know what that is. 16 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,833 You'll see. You'll see. 17 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,629 Okay. Good luck with that. 18 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,518 Come closer! 19 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,278 Fuck me! God! 20 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,791 I could get it. Fucking come. 21 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,718 Yes! Yeah! Yeah! You fucking skank! 22 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:58,989 Yeah! 23 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:03,789 Finally! 24 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,955 Man, look how buff my left arm looks just from grabbling you. 25 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,634 -Nichols, we gotta stop. -No, we can't. 26 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:13,914 I gotta work out the other side. 27 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,958 Otherwise I'll be asymmetrical like a crab, or a tennis pro. 28 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,838 No, no, no. No more. I'm engaged. 29 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,478 Yeah, that's right. 30 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:23,708 Get it while you can. 31 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,075 No! No, it's not fair to Christopher. 32 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:30,199 And I need to start tightening up. You're making me feel like a cave. 33 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,596 Baby, it's a cunt. It stretches. 34 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,234 Yeah, sometimes I feel like you're trying to climb inside my womb. 35 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,231 What can I say, I've got mommy issues. 36 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,232 Well, I don't want to do it anymore. 37 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,151 This was the last time. 38 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,910 All right. Yeah, it's cool. Just at least get me off first, all right? 39 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,831 That's not very classy. 40 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,751 We're having sex in a fucking chapel. 41 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:54,159 Come on, you wanna give me blue balls? 42 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,193 -It's not fair. I wake up every day and I... -Fuck! 43 00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:57,508 Shit! 44 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:04,278 I thought you said the service wasn't for another half hour. 45 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:05,952 It was. You take too long to come. 46 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,749 Chaplain, the Jews never put the markers back in the box. 47 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,035 So write to your Congressman. 48 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,473 What if he's a Jewish? 49 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:18,156 There is one art cabinet for everyone and you have to share. 50 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,994 Now, if you please, we need to get ready for mass. 51 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,640 -Sister? The candles. -Yes. 52 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,952 My service is coming up. 53 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,952 -I wanna hang up my decoration. -Your decoration? 54 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:33,871 Yep. Look at it. I made it in the shop. 55 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,750 Except for it's not done on account that I ran out of glow-in-the-dark paint, but... 56 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,798 -Doggett, get it out of here. -What? Why? 57 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,269 You know why. I have explained it to you. 58 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,119 It's not iconography, it's a cross. 59 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,639 Nothing goes on the walls 60 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,315 that can't be taken down before the next service. 61 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,674 It's gonna glow in the dark. 62 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,075 Now, Doggett! 63 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,428 You know what? Fine. 64 00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,672 That's just fine. 65 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,270 It ain't right, and you know it. 66 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,033 Well, this chapel is not just for Christians. 67 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,512 Yeah. I'm sure if I was a Catholic, you would be much different. 68 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:12,709 That's not true. 69 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,313 Yep. It's very true. 70 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,914 'Cause you and that Pope's bitch are running this place! 71 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,068 I like to think of myself as more of the Pope's homie. 72 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,991 You know what? 73 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:26,028 You treat everybody here better than me. Even those witch ladies. 74 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,758 Also not true. 75 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:30,434 No, it is true. You let... You take them for walks and you... 76 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:34,752 As I would take you if your faith required communion with nature. 77 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,831 I don't want to walk! Okay? 78 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,514 I'm gonna hang this damn cross! 79 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,910 'Cause it's my religious freedom and you're violating it! 80 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:48,829 You could sue. 81 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,520 I heard about this tranny in Massachusetts. 82 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,234 State paid for her whole hoo-ha. 83 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,630 I don't need them to pay for the car. I just need them to buy the oil. 84 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:04,557 What exactly is going on with you anyway? Is it like menopause? 85 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,751 Same idea. Not enough lady juice. 86 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:09,718 Skin gets loose, tits get saggy. Hulk get angry. 87 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,791 God! Do not do that! 88 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:14,314 Jesus. 89 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,189 I know what you can do. 90 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,517 You find an old lady lifer and you bum her estrogen. 91 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,757 You think the Fed gives a shit about a felon's hot flashes? 92 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,478 None of that gets covered. 93 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,433 Nun gets it. I'm on the pill line with her. 94 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,314 Bullshit. It's probably just anti-depressants. 95 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:34,075 Really? Ever heard of an SSRI called Gynotab? 96 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:40,074 What the fuck? Girl, you pulled my hair! 97 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,674 Any available CO to outer gate for inmate transfer. 98 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,433 You don't fucking talk to me, but you want me to thread your eyebrows? 99 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,351 Nobody else can do them right. 100 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:51,149 Besides, we're family. We fight, but we do shit for each other. 101 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,158 You gonna let me play dominos? 102 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,439 You can keep score. 103 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:57,948 You got some thread? 104 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,795 All personnel, 10-21 Jasmine. 105 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,758 Here. Go find Gloria, see if she'll trade with you. 106 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,518 If not, I'll pull some threads from my jacket. 107 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:09,555 All right. 108 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,432 Hey. What are you doing? 109 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:15,869 Trading corn. 110 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,633 Inmates aren't authorized to barter. 111 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,392 -What the fuck is "barter"? -Trade. 112 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,799 -Come on. Everybody trades... -Hey! 113 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,393 You want to get written up? Is that what you want? 114 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:23,754 What do you want from me? 115 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,668 What do I want? Less attitude! You got that? 116 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,752 You're not in charge here. I am. 117 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,834 -Now give me the corn. -Yes, sir. 118 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,597 Damn, y'all saw that? 119 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,279 He fucking took my corn! 120 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,112 Come on down to the hottest spot south of Havana! 121 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,760 Brazil's Copacabana Beach. 122 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,512 But I would be careful. 123 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:01,837 Some of the most beautiful places along the beach are... 124 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,395 Whatcha making? 125 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,913 I'm knitting. 126 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:17,676 I'm sorry, do I smell? 127 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,435 No, she's just in the zone. How's your Sunday? 128 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,114 Pretty nice so far. I was outside. 129 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,597 It is beautiful up here in the fall. 130 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:29,475 Yeah, sure. 131 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:33,109 I got myself incarcerated just so I could see the changing colors. 132 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,118 I'm serious. I think I need to be outside more. 133 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,514 Weren't you cold? 134 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,113 A little. But it was lovely. 135 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,276 I had my tea, it was almost hot. 136 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,316 I had my book, it was almost good. 137 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,072 And I saw a chicken. 138 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,639 How random is that? 139 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:55,669 What? What? 140 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,795 You saw a chicken? Like, a real live chicken in the flesh? 141 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,713 Well, it was covered in feathers, but... 142 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,075 What's going on? 143 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:14,513 You need to talk to Red. 144 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:18,153 -About what? -You just need to talk to her. 145 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,193 CO to Main Control for a shift briefing. 146 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,275 Dayanara! I unclogged the toilet. 147 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,191 There was a Barbie in it. 148 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,189 Eva? 149 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,953 What? Barbie wanted to go scuba diving! 150 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,312 Mommy! Help me! 151 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,277 Sucio! Get your caqui fingers off me. Dios mío! 152 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,237 She's gonna hit me! 153 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:01,914 You trying to hit your sister? 154 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,156 She flushed a Barbie down the toilet! 155 00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:08,278 The Barbie Cesar bought you? 156 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:14,670 You think Barbies grow on trees? You think toilets grow on trees? Huh? 157 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:15,789 No. 158 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:17,836 -What grows on trees? -Nothing. 159 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,957 That's right! You need to look after them better. 160 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,395 -How about you? -I got better things to do. 161 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,873 Get them a pizza if they're hungry. I'm eating oysters, bitches. 162 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:29,834 Whatever. 163 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,755 -I want oysters. -No, you don't. 164 00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:48,394 You're sure it was a chicken? Not a pigeon? 165 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:49,555 No. 166 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,116 What about a quail or a pheasant? 167 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,519 Spruce grouse? 168 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:54,669 American bald eagle? 169 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,354 It was a chicken. I know what a chicken looks like. 170 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,908 I don't... What's the big deal? 171 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:06,592 There are no chickens around here. Except for one. 172 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,830 They say she lived on a farm near here. 173 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:14,278 Till one night, the night before all the other chickens were slaughtered, 174 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,438 she escaped. 175 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:22,113 She's been out there ever since, living off the land. 176 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,678 Living on her wits. 177 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,995 Hey, what's going on? 178 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,195 The chicken's back. 179 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:32,029 Give me a break. Mom, there is no chicken. 180 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:35,032 You're wrong! She saw it. 181 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,599 Really? 182 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:39,717 -How'd it get over the fence? -I don't know. It flew? 183 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,792 Chickens don't fly. It was probably a spruce grouse. 184 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,316 No, it was her. I saw it in a dream. 185 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:48,908 Goodbye. 186 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,830 She came to me, already dressed in herbs, 187 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:57,714 and a little top hat, black, tilted to one side. 188 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:01,236 And she said, "Soon, Red, we will be together. 189 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,550 "Soon I will be yours." 190 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,551 No more processed chicken 191 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:09,639 that looks like a hockey puck and tastes like wet paper. 192 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:13,113 Real chicken Kiev. 193 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:19,392 First girl to bag that bird 194 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,552 gets a box of Bioré strips. 195 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:26,829 Me, too? 196 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,317 Yes. You, too. 197 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,038 You did good bringing this to me. 198 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:36,078 Maybe you're not as useless as I thought. 199 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,156 Sister Ingalls. How was your service? 200 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,276 Fine. Thank you for asking. 201 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,191 -Sophia. -Sophia. That's right. 202 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:48,793 What was your sermon about? 203 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,348 I don't give sermons. I'm not a priest. 204 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,671 But we did have a good group discussion about overcoming sin. 205 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:56,159 I'm sorry I missed that. 206 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:57,798 Really? Are you Catholic? 207 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:01,873 No! But... Well, I think a lot about overcoming sin. 208 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,670 And I just love Jesus Christ. 209 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:08,548 And I've always wanted to try one of those communion wafers. 210 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,631 Well, I have a box of a thousand. 211 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,756 They're not as fresh as the ones you get outside of prison, 212 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:13,875 but they're good with dip. 213 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:17,479 I forgot my hat. 214 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,755 -Mind if I come with you? -Not at all. 215 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,229 Okay, higher. Higher. 216 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,231 Yep, higher. Nope, wait! 217 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,390 No! To... Okay, now to... 218 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,679 Look, that doesn't look centered to me, it just... 219 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,273 Excuse me! 220 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,912 Hey, Sister. Ain't your time through here? 221 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,319 I thought you weren't allowed to put that up. 222 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,389 No? 223 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,512 That's what the chaplain told you this morning. 224 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:41,669 Yeah, that's right. 225 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,149 You're the little church mouse that lives in her pocket. 226 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,999 Well, I live in God's pocket. 227 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,911 And she said I couldn't put it up on the walls, 228 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,639 but she didn't say I couldn't hang it from the ceiling, all right? So... 229 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,352 That's not a load-bearing pipe. 230 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,358 What do you know about a load-bearing pipe, lady man? 231 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,592 I think I just told you. 232 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,318 Please. I'll just get my hat. 233 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,470 It's not my business. I don't want any trouble. 234 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,516 Trouble? There's not gonna be any trouble, okay? 235 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,397 This is beautiful. 236 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:09,268 All right? It's our right as Americans to religious freedom. 237 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,433 Ain't you heard of the Third Amendment? 238 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,751 Soldiers should not be given quarter in a house in times of peace? 239 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,558 Is that really what the Third Amendment says? 240 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:17,868 I never knew that. 241 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:18,949 Can you stay out of it? 242 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,190 Damn it, Tucky. I can't go back to seg. 243 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,713 God has chosen to test our conviction. 244 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,958 So Red's okay with me because I saw this chicken, I guess. 245 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,871 And she said I wasn't useless. 246 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,315 Good. 247 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:02,033 So that's the big news in my small world. 248 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,150 What's happening with Barney's? Did you talk to Weiner? 249 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,755 Yes, I have. Actually, there is... 250 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,872 Well, it's funny, but there's a problem. 251 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,435 What? 252 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:19,433 They have concerns about our ability to produce since we still don't have a space. 253 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,232 You told them that? They don't need to know that. 254 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:22,309 Why did you tell them that? 255 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,233 I don't know, because they asked? 256 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,870 I'm sorry, should I have texted you first? 257 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,273 We don't have an official order yet. They could take us off the shelves. 258 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,909 Well, you know, I was thinking maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea. 259 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:38,355 Excuse me? 260 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,790 I mean, maybe it's not the best time to expand our business. 261 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,996 Polly, I quit my job for this. 262 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,877 And then you went to prison. 263 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,956 If I'd known you wouldn't be around to handle things, 264 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,110 I would have delayed the baby and gotten a puppy. 265 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:55,115 But I'm the size of Venus and allergic to dogs, so... Fuck it. 266 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,639 Polly, we were counting on the extra income. 267 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,153 Please, like you even pay rent. 268 00:16:58,240 --> 00:16:59,559 I pay rent. Who told you I don't pay rent? 269 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,792 Polly, I know that you're having a baby, but what about our baby? 270 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,074 What about Baby Poppy? 271 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,994 What if Piper talks to Weiner? You have more of a rapport, right? 272 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:09,911 Yes! She likes me! 273 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,594 So, should I see if she'll drive up with us next week? 274 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,797 No. We can set up a call. 275 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:20,032 I'll call you, and then the recording about it being a call from prison will play, 276 00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,873 and then you can call her from your phone, 277 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,474 conference her in, and I can talk to her. 278 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:29,035 Please? 279 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,680 Two minute warning. Two minutes. 280 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,478 What? Jesus, they don't give you any time. 281 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,239 I know. Honey, have you talked to your dad about Alex? 282 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,435 No, I... Not yet. I will... 283 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:40,748 -Faster, please. Come on. -Okay, well, 284 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,916 I'll ask him about it when I see him later this week. 285 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:44,514 Ask him what? 286 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,758 To look over the indictment. To see if Alex really named her. 287 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,274 Of course she named me. It's so obvious. 288 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,078 Then why does his dad need to check? 289 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:57,115 So I can shove it in her smug, lying, fucking lying, fucking face. 290 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,633 I know she's lying. 291 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,752 Hold up. What, she's in here with you? 292 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,109 Yes. 293 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,997 Why didn't you tell me? 294 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:15,277 -You lied to me? -Honey, I didn't lie to you. 295 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:18,352 I just failed to mention. I didn't want you to worry. 296 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,994 -Worry? Worry about what? -That she'd turn gay again. 297 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,877 That's not happening. And you don't just turn gay. 298 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,996 You fall somewhere on a spectrum. Like, on a Kinsey scale. 299 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,069 Okay. 300 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,238 Besides, she is the last person around here that I'd sleep with. 301 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,390 -Who's the first? -See? I didn't mean that. 302 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,993 I didn't mean that. I just... 303 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:37,519 This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you. 304 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,319 Because I knew that you would do this. What are you afraid of? 305 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,789 That I'm going to do something? 306 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:43,995 Gay? 307 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,753 I wasn't before, until you lied. Now I'm... 308 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,115 Now I'm wondering if maybe you're worried you will. 309 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,995 -Classic projection. -Polly, don't help. 310 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:28,514 Not only is the ceiling ripped open. 311 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:34,876 Not only is the chapel covered in asbestos, 312 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,596 rat shit, God knows what. 313 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,870 -Toxic mold. -Toxic mold. 314 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:48,549 But, surprise, surprise, our electrical line has been compromised. 315 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,235 We have to run new electrical. 316 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,998 Officer Luschek, is running new electrical 317 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:02,200 something that you feel particularly excited about doing on a fucking Monday? 318 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,350 -Nope. -Hell nope. 319 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,916 You ought to be relaxing after an exhausting weekend of 320 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,753 prostate stimulation and blow-up fuck dolls. 321 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,193 But instead, 322 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:21,314 thanks to this missed opportunity for cradle death, 323 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,277 you're here with me. 324 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,716 And all these other shit-birds. 325 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,232 And all this shit. 326 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,390 Man, why she ain't in SHU? 327 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,710 Janae got sent to SHU just for talking. 328 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,193 Quiet, or you'll go with her. 329 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,438 It weren't my fault. I was just doing as the Spirit commanded. 330 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,033 Fuck are you, Joan of Arc? 331 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,793 No. I'm from Waynesboro. My name is Tiffany... 332 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,598 She knows what your fucking name is! 333 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,358 And you guys can kill each other on your own time. 334 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,916 Hey, Bennett, grab some retards and go start the demo. 335 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,160 -Excuse me. -Yes? 336 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,319 Could we get some masks? 337 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,637 For the mold. And the rat shit dust. 338 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,152 Bennett, go see if you can find some dust masks in the tool shed. 339 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,599 Okay. 340 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,468 Rest of you, go outside. Start bringing in those sheets of drywall. 341 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,516 -Wait a minute! -What? 342 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,231 I don't want "it" here. 343 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,878 Please! 344 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,832 That's why this whole thing happened. 345 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,434 God's angry that there's an abomination in the church, 346 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,080 and if we don't get rid of "it," it's just gonna keep on happening. 347 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,388 All right, you listen to me. 348 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,832 You are not an agent of God, okay? 349 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:48,673 God can do so much better than you. You must know that, right? 350 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:49,795 Know what? 351 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,031 Jesus Christ, how the fuck did you survive infancy? 352 00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:55,759 -My auntie helped my momma... -That's a rhetorical question! 353 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:59,071 Do you not understand what a fucking rhetorical question is? 354 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,354 Sophia just cares about the church. And she just wants to help. 355 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,160 Help clean up the mess you made. 356 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,355 You see, there, Pennsyltucky? 357 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,032 That's just what I've been saying the whole time. 358 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,872 You're an idiot. 359 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,678 I want to fuck Jesus in his hand-hole. 360 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,998 All right. Let's get to work. 361 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:10,034 Hey. I thought that we might get masks, too? 362 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,312 There's not enough. 363 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:16,758 That's what you get for acting uppity. 364 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,308 Okay, so about the chicken... 365 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,155 What about it? It's like Red's version of the white whale. 366 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,350 No, no, no, I saw it. I really did. 367 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,113 All right. It's just you and the crackheads then. 368 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,595 But at least you're getting in good with Captain Ahab. 369 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,711 Better her ship than the ocean. 370 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,031 So I take it you're not gonna come look for it after work? 371 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:37,519 What, the chicken? 372 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,354 We're gonna search the yard. Morello invited me. 373 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,078 Morello and I are sort of taking a break. 374 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,311 I'm sorry to hear that. What happened? 375 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:53,150 Yeah, she still thinks her relationship with her fiancé isn't doomed. 376 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,551 But she'll be back. 377 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,593 Nothing lasts. 378 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:04,549 Twenty. 379 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,555 You got that? What's the score? 380 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,034 Hold up, let me add it up. 381 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,149 Come on, chicken! 382 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,748 Red's looking for the chicken again. 383 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,398 That bitch is crazy. 384 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,351 Who gives a shit about a chicken? 385 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,550 Maybe it's not the chicken but what's within the chicken. 386 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:27,759 You trying to sound deep? 387 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:32,073 Nah. My boy, Potato Chip, told me that when he was down, 388 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:36,312 they used to bring in dope by putting that shit inside birds. 389 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,478 -Chickens? -Nah. 390 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,073 I think it was like a pigeon or something. 391 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:41,428 Did they stick it up the butt? 392 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:45,479 Nah. They put it in a little baggie, stuff it down the throat. 393 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,632 But maybe they put it in the butt, too. 394 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,552 There's no chicken. That's a fairy tale. 395 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,274 My boy said that shit's worth, like, $1,000, yo. 396 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,877 And that's just from what they put inside a pigeon. 397 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,994 A chicken's got a much bigger butt. 398 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:10,913 Are you kidding me? 399 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,800 Yo, Spanish mamis got something going on. 400 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,914 -Ain't you going, too? -No. 401 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:33,069 No, you'd rather sit and scribble love notes. 402 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,876 Don't play dumb, I know what you're doing. 403 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,315 I seen you leave a kite and I know who for. 404 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:39,469 You followed me? 405 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,558 I'm telling you, you're wasting your time with that one. 406 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:46,110 Not that you're not pretty. I don't mean it like that. 407 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:50,591 It's just, you gonna fuck a guard, fuck a fat one. 408 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,033 That way they're more appreciative. 409 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,680 Let you sneak in cigarettes. Maybe bring you McDonald's. 410 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:55,955 Is that how you really think? 411 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,958 That's how you need to start thinking. I'm trying to look out for you. 412 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:00,878 I don't fuck dudes for Big Macs. 413 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,232 -But you fuck 'em. -Yeah. 414 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,834 So what do you fuck 'em for? Love? 415 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,313 Daya? Daya! 416 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:30,275 Hi, baby! Hello, my little angel. 417 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:32,712 How you doing? 418 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,953 Where's your brother and sisters? 419 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,478 I don't know. I'm hungry. 420 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,158 There's food in the kitchen. Why didn't you... 421 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,798 Go ahead. I'll go. 422 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,879 And Paco's like, "He's not an eggplant, he's retarded!" 423 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:03,389 What do you want? 424 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,038 What are you doing in here? Get out. 425 00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:07,588 Eva's hungry. I need to make her something to eat. 426 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:08,715 So make her something. 427 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,993 But, hey, you better make me something, too, if you're in here. 428 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:15,911 You can't eat that. It's shaped like animals. 429 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,434 So, I don't give a fuck. It tastes the same. 430 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,192 But it's made for kids. 431 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,511 I'm just trying to look out for you, so people don't think you're a faggot. 432 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:28,469 You wanna wear Superman undies and eat kids' food, be my guest. 433 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:32,189 Maybe I should get you a propeller beanie and you can hang out on the corner. 434 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,515 Go out and buy some real food. 435 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,359 Keep the change. 436 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:47,989 Buy a smile? 437 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,794 Cesar, how much longer we have to do this here? 438 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,279 Not long. 439 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,039 Pepe may have found a new spot. 440 00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:01,396 What's the matter? You don't like me anymore? 441 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:14,470 All right, extend that rear leg. 442 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,515 Challenge yourselves, but don't forget to breathe. 443 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:21,433 -What do I do with my arms? -Extend the arms. 444 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,551 Soft eyes, Morello. 445 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,109 Excuse me. What's happening? 446 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:32,958 We got AA. 447 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,237 No, not right now you don't. We're doing yoga. This is our time. 448 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,437 Well, they sent us here 'cause the chapel's wrecked. 449 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:43,399 Now, don't worry. You just keep on doing what you're doing. 450 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:47,268 Yeah, let's see one of these downward facing doggie styles. 451 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,878 Soft eyes, Morello. Soft eyes. 452 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,952 This is unacceptable. Norma, take over for me. 453 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,758 I'm getting Caputo. 454 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:06,833 I'm sorry, am I disturbing you? 455 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,590 Man, I did it. I fucked up your Zen. 456 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,956 No. Wouldn't wanna accidentally kick you in the face. 457 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:22,918 "So we do not lose heart. 458 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:28,472 "Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." 459 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,599 -What's that? -Corinthians 4:. 1 6. 460 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,794 Just something I say to myself when I think my ass looks fat. 461 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,916 So you do understand what I've been going through. 462 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:41,949 I know, changes in the body can be painful. But remember, your body is just the ship. 463 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:43,991 Your soul is the passenger. 464 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,918 There's another passage here. 465 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,197 -So you been through menopause? -Yes, dear. 466 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,871 Did you just pray that you'd get through it? 467 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:54,995 More or less. 468 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,912 What's the "more" part? And the "less"? 469 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,672 I also exercised regularly. 470 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:06,995 See, it's especially hard for me because it's taken me so long to get to this point. 471 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:11,312 And I'm just not ready to give it up, you know? 472 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,197 Yes, you said. 473 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,714 -And I sacrificed so much. -Right. 474 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:20,192 And I feel like finally, finally, I'm the woman 475 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:24,357 that God intended me to be, you know? 476 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,716 -That's wonderful. -Yeah. 477 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:28,832 You're not getting my hormones. 478 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,872 Now, shall we return to Scripture? 479 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,313 You knew? This whole time? 480 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:38,874 I figured it out when you thought 481 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,190 "Stations of the Cross" meant Christian radio. 482 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:43,313 So you've been playing with me? 483 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:46,949 You may be unhappy, but it has nothing to do with your body. 484 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,237 If you were truly a woman, you'd never be happy with that anyway. 485 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:51,469 You have guilt. 486 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,158 About what? 487 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,748 About leaving your wife to take care of Michael alone. 488 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,313 About Michael being... 489 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,517 Don't you talk to me about that! You don't get to talk to me about that. 490 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,795 -Sophia! -Leave me alone! 491 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,235 Attention all personnel, be advised, count. 492 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,152 So there I am, topless, 493 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,959 sitting on this bulldozer, like, in a construction site. 494 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:15,918 So I'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties, 495 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,719 and I'm like, "What the fuck? Again?" 496 00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:21,799 And then I look down 497 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:30,080 and I see there's this dude down on the ground 498 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:31,872 with his head by, like, the tire. 499 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,275 And then I look close and I recognize it's the bum from the night before 500 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,033 that was hollerin' at me outside of Pizzeria Uno. 501 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:43,159 And when I look closer, I see the dude is wearing my shirt 502 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,357 and he's got barbecue sauce all over his face and he's... 503 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:49,595 He's dead. 504 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:55,268 And that's when I knew it was time to make a change. Thank you. 505 00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,714 Almost the exact same thing happened to me, but it was tuna salad. 506 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:06,119 All right. We will now, once again, go into a forward bend, 507 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:10,394 and when you're ready, relax back into Shavasana. 508 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,320 Anyone else feel like sharing today? 509 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,830 -Anybody? -I'll share. 510 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,189 I don't have a great rock-bottom story 511 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,636 because my rock bottom is happening right now. 512 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:37,309 Not that you're not all great, but I guess I just thought I'd never be here. 513 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:43,035 You know, I thought I was someone who was in control. 514 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,636 And I was in control, for a while. 515 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,590 When I only dealt heroin. 516 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,877 Not even dealt. I mean, I was an importer. 517 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:59,916 But, yeah, I was going through a break-up, and it was around. 518 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:04,040 Actually, I think it's more accurate to say that I was abandoned. 519 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:09,511 But, anyway, I started using. 520 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,238 Are you finished? 521 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,195 Yes, thank you. That was wonderful. 522 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,238 Heroin was the best girlfriend that I ever had. 523 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,357 You know, she always made me feel better, 524 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,950 and she was always available. 525 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,071 But even the best girls will fuck you over, you know? 526 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,632 Yeah, you would fucking know, wouldn't you? 527 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,477 Damn, I thought yoga was supposed to relax you. 528 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,479 You want to know if she fingered her? 529 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,353 I think that's been established. 530 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:47,755 Please, Dad. No jokes. I can't take it right now. 531 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,308 -Howard, leave him alone. -You leave me alone. 532 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,038 Larry, have you weatherized yet? 533 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,509 I know it looks tacky, but if you put up the plastic, 534 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:55,999 you'll save a lot of money on heating. 535 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:57,957 Those windows are very old. 536 00:33:58,080 --> 00:33:59,911 I'm going to, Mom. 537 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,476 And I'm sorry I'm late with the rent. 538 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,955 It's all right. As long as you take care of us when we're dying. 539 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,349 Though you might want to think about getting a job at some point. 540 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,950 He has a job. He's a writer. All it takes is one article. 541 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:12,758 For what? To get paid 50 bucks? 542 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:16,077 To lead to bigger things. You have any projects you're working on? 543 00:34:16,240 --> 00:34:18,834 Yes, Mom, thank you. As a matter of fact, I do. 544 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,559 -I'm working on an article right now. -What's it about? 545 00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:24,916 It's a trend piece, about something called edging. 546 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:35,311 It's when you have sex or masturbate without coming. 547 00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,959 Without coming? That sounds unhealthy. 548 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,395 A man needs to come. Larry, tell me you're coming. 549 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:42,515 I shouldn't have said anything. 550 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:46,189 Howard, tell Larry he needs to come. You could get blocked up! 551 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,555 -I'll tell him. -Listen to your father. 552 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,200 You two want some soup? The girl made soup. 553 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,077 -Soup would be nice. -I'm fine. Thank you. 554 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,151 I'll get for both of you. 555 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,635 Dad, please. I know you don't like Piper, but I'm asking you to help me. 556 00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:03,835 Who said I don't like her? 557 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,319 I like her. She's the nicest felon you've ever dated. 558 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:06,594 Stop. 559 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,714 I just think she's a bit wispy. 560 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:11,518 I thought you'd end up with someone more substantial. 561 00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,473 Are you talking about her moral character or the size of her breasts? 562 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:15,993 Please. I'm an ass man. 563 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:17,474 He's an ass man. 564 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:20,872 You asked about her girlfriend? 565 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,228 Ex-girlfriend. 566 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,309 I have looked over the indictment. 567 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:27,029 And? 568 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:32,513 It states that, unequivocally, Alex Vause gave her name. 569 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:36,999 Good. Thank you. 570 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:38,873 Good? How is that good? 571 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:41,958 It's good that Piper'll know for sure. 572 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,676 And she'll hate her more, so she'll stay away from her. 573 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,516 -Listen, Larry, don't tell her. -Why? 574 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:50,988 Prison is a fishbowl, son. 575 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,957 The last thing she needs is an enemy to obsess over, 576 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:54,598 do something stupid out of anger. 577 00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,353 She should serve her time and leave without any trouble. 578 00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,760 -I'm not gonna lie to my fiancée. -Why not? 579 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:02,996 Because our relationship doesn't work that way. 580 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,914 Yes, yes. It's based on trust and honesty. 581 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,675 Even though she neglected to tell you that she's in there with this Alex until now? 582 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:13,513 Okay, first of all, it's only been three weeks, 583 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:17,309 and she didn't want to tell me because she didn't want me to get upset. 584 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:18,913 So, why should you upset her? 585 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:22,868 No. 586 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:28,071 No. I'm not gonna lie to protect her like she's some helpless thing, okay? 587 00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:31,428 Honesty is the best policy. I really believe that. 588 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:38,393 Larry, remember all those special achievement ribbons you earned as a child? 589 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:40,629 Yeah. 590 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,149 You notice how there was never a public ceremony? 591 00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:46,471 You did win that one for tidiest cubby in preschool. 592 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,636 But the truth is... 593 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:52,715 ...overrated. 594 00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:59,516 My advice, keep her focused on her life outside, her business, her friends. 595 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:01,798 The wedding. 596 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,757 Whether or not you actually go through with it. 597 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:09,952 Here, Larry. Eat your soup. You're the best soup eater in America. 598 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,471 He's got it! 599 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:17,993 Find that chicken, babe, you got it? 600 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:19,949 Chicken! 601 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:24,272 Here, chicky, chicky, chicky. 602 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:28,118 What's going on? 603 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:32,115 There's $1,000 inside a chicken somewhere. Everyone's looking for it. 604 00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:34,871 -What? -You. 605 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:37,838 This is your fault. 606 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,633 You've been blabbing all over about the chicken, haven't you? 607 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,119 Not really. 608 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:45,029 But even if I had, you never told me it was a secret. 609 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,270 Because I thought you had common sense. 610 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,158 Black girls hear about a chicken, of course this will happen. 611 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,237 Why, because all black people love chicken? 612 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:53,548 Don't be racist. 613 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:54,959 Because they're all on heroin, 614 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:58,112 and somebody's been telling them there's heroin in the chicken. 615 00:37:58,200 --> 00:37:59,349 I heard it's a gun. 616 00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:01,351 Okay, I had nothing to do with this. 617 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,159 You cannot blame this on me. I just told you what I saw. 618 00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:06,071 Right, what you "saw." 619 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,754 Why are you using air quotes? Are you saying that I'm lying? 620 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,432 Maybe you wanted to impress people. 621 00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,909 I did not even know this was a thing that was impressive. 622 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,470 If she hasn't been scared off, the Spanish or the blacks have her. 623 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,114 Those Spanish probably won't even eat her, 624 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:23,478 just cut her throat and drink her blood, or something else superstitious. 625 00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:27,435 All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens 626 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,272 and to absorb its power. 627 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,718 And make a nice Kiev. But, oh, well. 628 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,358 So, what? You're just gonna give up? 629 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,552 Just because of a little competition? 630 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:51,272 That chicken is out there, Red, and it's waiting for you. To eat it. 631 00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:55,710 And you have been waiting for a very long time to eat it. 632 00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,749 What do those other girls have that you don't have? 633 00:38:58,840 --> 00:38:59,909 They have dogs. 634 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,191 Dogs does not a chicken catch. 635 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,152 Determination, Red. 636 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,797 That's what catches chickens. 637 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,239 Who wants that chicken the most? 638 00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,877 Who will prepare that chicken most expertly? 639 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,440 The woman who dreams about it. 640 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:22,430 The woman who was born to eat that chicken. 641 00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:26,229 You. 642 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:35,039 That's mine! That's my chicken! 643 00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,478 What the hell is the matter with you? 644 00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:44,630 You tryin' out for the retard Olympics? 645 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:48,113 Somebody shove some dynamite up your ass? 646 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,191 Do you want to get shot? 647 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:57,312 Trust me. We got a lot of bullets up in that guard tower. 648 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,677 So if that's what you want, just try that shit again. 649 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,719 You are not supposed to run. 650 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,799 Remind me never to listen to you. 651 00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,713 So, why are you running? 652 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,394 For a fucking chicken? 653 00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,751 Who the fuck told you there was a chicken in my yard? 654 00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:58,028 But that's not fair! 655 00:40:58,120 --> 00:40:59,997 It's more than fair. 656 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:03,356 You know the rules about running. Who's next? 657 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:04,549 Chapman. 658 00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:10,154 You're gonna have a swell time down the hill, blondie. 659 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,876 Trust me, he's gonna break you. 660 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,269 Yes, thank you. 661 00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:17,874 And that was not necessary. 662 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,110 Please close the door on your way out. 663 00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:25,590 Attention, inmates. Multiple code violations will result in loss of privileges. 664 00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:28,399 So, I'm not sure if I have the rumor straight. 665 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:33,640 Is the chicken filled with money, or heroin, or guns, or candy? 666 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,716 No, no. Mr. Healy, this is... 667 00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:40,237 I'm not sending you down the hill. You made a mistake. You're new. 668 00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:42,394 Thank you. 669 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:45,990 Probably just wanted to impress people, be a big shot. 670 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,557 -So you started making up stories. -No! 671 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:54,229 It's all right. I understand. 672 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:58,154 You think this is the first time that I've heard about the "chicken"? 673 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:04,118 It's popular fiction. It's like global warming or female ejaculation. 674 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,078 No! No. No, it's not. This is real. 675 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:09,352 How is it real? 676 00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:11,668 Wait, which? 677 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:13,910 The chicken. And the... 678 00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,033 The chicken. 679 00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:22,476 There's a triple razor wire fence around this camp. 680 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:24,238 It's impossible. 681 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:29,440 And if you think that chickens can fly, well, we better go to Wikipedia right away. 682 00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,155 Oh, my God, you have the Internet. 683 00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:36,677 Look, I don't care if you've seen this thing or not. 684 00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:41,113 But I don't want you exciting the other inmates with this kind of talk. 685 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:43,436 They're not like you and me. 686 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,994 They're less reasonable. Less educated. 687 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,356 And I don't want you making up stories to Red. 688 00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:54,795 You know how Russians love chicken. 689 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:59,589 Moving forward, I want you to keep your head down. 690 00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:02,989 Don't make any more boastful claims. 691 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:05,193 -Don't... -See a chicken. 692 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:06,713 Exactly. 693 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,233 Now, repeat after me. 694 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,437 There is no chicken. There never was any chicken. 695 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:14,796 The chicken is an urban myth. A grand illusion. 696 00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:19,237 Something to give your life meaning, but which is in fact not there. 697 00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:21,951 We will make a poster. 698 00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,791 Y o, ch icken lady. 699 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:28,153 I got my visitation revoked 'cause of you. 700 00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:34,198 What'd you get? 701 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:38,913 I should've fuckin' known. 702 00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:44,031 I don't mess with no heroin, but I love me some candy. 703 00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:46,675 -You better watch it with the stories. -I didn't... 704 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,958 Bravo dorms, assemble for visitation hall. 705 00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:00,079 Still open? 706 00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:07,238 In some tribal cultures, 707 00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:10,790 the transgender person is regarded as a shaman. 708 00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:13,671 Trying to convert me to paganism now? 709 00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:15,358 Whatever works. 710 00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:17,112 It's not a very Catholic thing to say. 711 00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:20,351 I'm not here as a Catholic, I'm here as a friend. 712 00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:24,473 I'll cut your hair. But I ain't giving you no confession. 713 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:29,113 I already know how I feel. I let 'em down. 714 00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:32,997 You're still here. 715 00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:36,120 And the best thing you can do for them is be strong. 716 00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:39,158 Inside. You already have the Playboy body. 717 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:40,872 What are you doing reading Playboy?. 718 00:44:41,240 --> 00:44:42,958 I read everything. 719 00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,230 Why did God have to give me that stupid penis? 720 00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:48,429 I don't know. 721 00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,875 Any more than I know why he gave men nipples. 722 00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,357 There are mysteries. 723 00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:55,476 And as a Catholic, I enjoy them. 724 00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:58,276 The mysteries, that is. 725 00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:00,911 Well, I enjoy the nipples. 726 00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:03,990 So now they think that I'm a liar. That I made it up. 727 00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:08,278 I don't understand. Why would I make something like that up? 728 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,149 I don't know. 729 00:45:10,240 --> 00:45:12,356 Hey, you have that call with Weiner later, right? 730 00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:13,595 Yes. 731 00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:15,398 -You ready? -I'm ready. 732 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:20,429 That's good. Because I can't ask my parents for any more money, okay? 733 00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:23,990 No. Yes. And I can't ask mine either. 734 00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,755 Okay, we can't ask anyone's parents for any more money. 735 00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,400 -So make it a slam dunk, all right?. -Yes. 736 00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:33,517 By the time you get out of prison, you'll be a big-time soap baron, 737 00:45:33,720 --> 00:45:37,474 I'll be a famous journalist, and we'll start our life. 738 00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:40,836 Life already has started. I'm in here. 739 00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:42,353 And I'm here with you. 740 00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,635 But let's just be honest with each other, okay, Pipes? 741 00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:46,716 I wanna know what's going on. 742 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,234 Yes. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Alex. 743 00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:51,189 It's okay. 744 00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,669 It has nothing to do with me being attracted to her. 745 00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:56,149 Really. I just... 746 00:45:56,240 --> 00:46:01,030 I didn't want you to know that I was in here with somebody that I hate so much. 747 00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,032 Oh, my God, I swear, sometimes when I'm around her, 748 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:05,917 I feel like I'm going crazy. 749 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,276 Well, as long as you keep your figure. 750 00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,189 -Hey, did I tell you what happened in yoga? -No. 751 00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:15,113 She was just there. Trying to antagonize me. 752 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:20,271 I swear, Larry, I could smash her in the face. 753 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:24,032 Okay, well, don't... Don't do anything like that. Okay? 754 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,913 -Anyhow, about Alex... -Oh, my God. I bet it was her. 755 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,275 I bet she's the one who's been spreading rumors about me. 756 00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:35,591 I bet she told everybody that I lied about the chicken! 757 00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:39,195 Okay, Piper, let's drop the chicken for now. It's not important. 758 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:40,235 It's my rep! 759 00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,232 Piper, it's not important. This is real life. 760 00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:47,273 Please don't get dragged into the prison drama. 761 00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:51,194 Look, I know it's like a fishbowl in there, but try. Focus. 762 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,635 Larry, I know that you're right, but I have to live in this fishbowl 763 00:46:53,720 --> 00:46:55,358 and it's just... 764 00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,355 Just let him do his krumping and have a good time. 765 00:46:58,440 --> 00:46:59,668 ...hard. 766 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:02,675 I know. 767 00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:06,671 So, what were you saying? 768 00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:08,869 About Alex. 769 00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:10,792 I talked to my dad about the indictment. 770 00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:13,509 And? 771 00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:22,393 She didn't name you. I guess it was someone else from the ring. 772 00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:28,751 -Piper, are you there? -Yeah, I'm here. 773 00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,635 -Did you hear me? -Yes, I heard you. 774 00:47:31,720 --> 00:47:33,836 I know it's surprising, but this is... 775 00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:35,353 Pipes, this is good, really, 776 00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:39,672 because now you don't have to feel crazy, or angry. 777 00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:45,636 You can just do your time and stay away from that asshole. 778 00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,314 It's just that, Larry, now this... 779 00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,075 This means that I'm the asshole. 780 00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:59,389 Swing shift guard detail. P m. cell check to commence at 21 30 hours. 781 00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,110 What are you talking about, Cesar can't make it? 782 00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:45,519 I don't know. That's what he said. 783 00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:48,353 I take a fall for that motherfucker, the least he could do is visit. 784 00:48:50,040 --> 00:48:52,793 Is he paying rent? Is he buying groceries? 785 00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:54,273 Yeah, but I don't want him in the apartment. 786 00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:56,828 Why? Is he bringing girls home? 787 00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,188 No. Because he... 788 00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,589 Hey, I have an idea, you want to ask how we're doing? 789 00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:02,716 -Mommy. -Answer the question. 790 00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:04,159 Is he fucking around? 791 00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:06,710 I did answer the question. 792 00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:09,234 You know we took a bus three hours to get here? 793 00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:11,993 Mommy, I made a paper airplane. 794 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,149 Are you fucking him? 795 00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:16,077 Please. You have got to be kidding me. 796 00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:18,999 -Mommy! -What? 797 00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:20,599 I made a paper airplane. 798 00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:23,918 -Where's your stupid paper airplane? -At home. 799 00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:25,228 Well, then why do I care? 800 00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:27,754 You want to show me something? You can't show me something I can't see! 801 00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,115 What are you, stupid? 802 00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,517 You tell that motherfucker he better visit. He owes me. 803 00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:39,353 When in the visitation room, you're allowed two hugs. 804 00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:42,388 One on arrival, and one on departure. 805 00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:49,679 Good, you're home. 806 00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:53,993 Won't you make us something to eat? 807 00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:03,678 T ake off. Be out. 808 00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,709 How your tits be so big, your mom's so small, huh? 809 00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:12,314 -Well, I guess I get 'em from my dad. -Yeah? 810 00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:28,279 You said five minutes. 811 00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:30,510 Please. I just need five more minutes. 812 00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:34,189 That's all. This is a very important phone call. 813 00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:37,317 I'm on hold. It's about my company. 814 00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:39,960 Man, I doubt you even got a company. You all talk. 815 00:50:40,240 --> 00:50:41,639 See, there you go. 816 00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:43,159 Piper?. Are you still there?. 817 00:50:43,240 --> 00:50:44,639 Yes, I'm right here. What's going on? 818 00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:47,188 I'm in a conference with Weiner on the other line. How do I punch you in? 819 00:50:48,240 --> 00:50:49,673 I don't know, it's your phone. 820 00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:52,035 All right, hold on. I have to ask Pete. I'll be right back. 821 00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:53,348 -No, no, no! Polly, wait, I don't... -Pete! 822 00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:55,556 Polly, Polly, Polly... 823 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:59,878 Please revise count. It is not clear. Please conduct a recount. 824 00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:13,836 Hey. Hey! 825 00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:15,672 Hey! Hey! Hey! 826 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:16,994 -Hey! Get off, man! -There it is! 827 00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,036 Look! There it is! There's the... 828 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,839 Hey! Hey! Are you using the phone? 829 00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:22,949 Yes! I'm on hold. 830 00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:26,271 Hey! Hey! Make your call or free up the phone now. 831 00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:33,158 Okay, Piper? I figured it out. 832 00:51:33,240 --> 00:51:35,390 Everyone's on the other line. I'm punching you in, okay? 833 00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:39,430 Piper?. Piper, are you there?. 834 00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:43,354 Dandelion ain't here right now. She gone to chase the chicken. 835 00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:52,308 Chapman! 836 00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:55,712 What did I tell you about running in the yard? 837 00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:57,199 I'm sorry, sir. It's just that... 838 00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:58,793 Both feet on the ground at all times. What? 839 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,952 Nothing. Just trying to get some fitness, that's all. 840 00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:04,713 Two speeds in my yard. Walk and shuffle.