1 00:01:11,879 --> 00:01:17,879 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA www.PSArips.com 2 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:32,555 I come here to buy a boat, not become some goddamn pirate. 3 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:43,435 Please don't drop that. 4 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,470 Get out there. Shake hands. 5 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,555 These are very important people. 6 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:11,954 Go meet his wife. 7 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,874 I've been cooking all day. I smell like onions. 8 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,753 I have someone to make you acquaintance. 9 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,512 That's disgusting. 10 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:34,269 And unsanitary. 11 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:35,554 Keeps 'em warm all day long. 12 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:36,908 Thanks for this back board. 13 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,109 Pleasure doin' business with you. 14 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,918 5:00 a.m. Breakfast time: 15 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,991 So we need request forms for next spring's non-perishables. 16 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,593 Bring 'em tonight. 17 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,233 Tori's getting out in six weeks, 18 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,629 so we gotta train someone new on the feed slicer. 19 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:49,869 Look into little Sara. 20 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,632 Make sure she never stabbed people. 21 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,394 And Betty's been acting up again. The bitch is gonna fuck us. 22 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,834 A little patience. 23 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,354 She's been here a lot of years. I'll deal with her. 24 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,435 The blondie? 25 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:01,879 Yes. She's going nuts. 26 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,154 That one's a light touch. 27 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:04,753 Well, you did serve her a bloody tampon. 28 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:05,995 Yeah. 29 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,234 I'm proud of that one. 30 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,711 I have to go to another prison. 31 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,799 A different one. 32 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,916 You have to move me. 33 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,918 Like this is the Radisson and you don't like your room? 34 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:23,709 Why? 35 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,432 Why isn't this the Radisson? 36 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,397 Why do you need to be moved? 37 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:33,117 Did someone try to engage with you sexually? 38 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,751 Tell me what happened out there. 39 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,119 It's fine. 40 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,158 I just freaked out. 41 00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,993 I'll be fine. 42 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,349 I'm sure you will. 43 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,154 You're gonna be late for orientation. 44 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,871 Attention, ladies: Remember the rules: 45 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,951 -Hey, sorry I'm late. -Sit down. 46 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,595 That one's broke. 47 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,709 Hi: 48 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:39,510 Welcome to the Federal Department of Corrections, where we strive 49 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:44,668 to maintain facilities that are secure, humane, and cost effective: 50 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,400 Night school classes are offered three nights a week: 51 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:53,268 There are a variety of recreational activities available 52 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,989 and clinical visits are offered at the inmates' request: 53 00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:01,437 But enough about policy: Let's get to the important stuff: 54 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:08,353 Th is is a piece of copper pipe. And it was taken from the laundry room. 55 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,673 It's hard. 56 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,760 This was used to break two ribs. 57 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:16,308 Could also be used to crack your skull, 58 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,039 break your knee, muss up your make up. 59 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,519 Amongst other things. 60 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:27,072 Suicidal thoughts will come. Frequently. 61 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,630 Some days, it'll feel like there are no other thoughts. 62 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,876 "Do it," they'll say. 63 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,429 "End it." 64 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:36,749 "Come on." 65 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,435 You'll be assigned bunks soon. Uniform issue is next week. 66 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,395 State your correct size on the form. 67 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,518 No baggy hip-hop pants. 68 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,271 Yes, I'm lookin' at you. 69 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:57,630 Plastic toothbrush with a razor-blade melted right into it. 70 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:07,433 Yeah, probably shouldn't have showed you that one. 71 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,671 The women who made and used these items 72 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,911 are now in the SHU or down at the max facility 73 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,390 with added sentences. Their lives are basically over. 74 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,753 Hello, ladies. 75 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:21,873 I am Natalie Figueroa, 76 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,235 I am the Executive Assistant to the warden. 77 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:26,351 I try and visit often. 78 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:27,919 If you have any concerns, 79 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,195 specifically regarding your needs as women, 80 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:33,431 please come to me. I will handle them personally. 81 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:36,833 Yeah, she will. 82 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,797 I had a question, actually. 83 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,837 Today I'm only here as a formality. 84 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,075 Next. 85 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,634 Next. 86 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:56,875 Next. 87 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,279 No. Wait. 88 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:00,875 Next. 89 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:04,469 Seriously? 90 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:07,629 Next. 91 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:12,995 Come on. 92 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,470 Dorm D, Dorm D, laundry is ready for drop-off: 93 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:37,994 They're not letting me eat. 94 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,158 That sounds like a whole lot of your problem. 95 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,915 We don't leave lunch till lunch is over. 96 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,316 Come sit with us. Not with Crazy Eyes. 97 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:32,794 Rough morning? 98 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,069 Something like that. 99 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,713 We should've warned you about Red. 100 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:41,273 Well, I just didn't expect to be punished while I was getting punished. 101 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,031 You gotta fix that. Make it right. 102 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,155 How? 103 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:50,108 I find it best to confront things head-on. 104 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,234 Know what? I'm just gonna apologize. 105 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,312 I'm just gonna very sincerely apologize. 106 00:08:56,400 --> 00:09:01,428 People make mistakes. People say stupid things all the time. 107 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,713 She's gotta understand that, right? 108 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,475 Who are you? 109 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,272 Her daughter. Who are you? 110 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,469 Her daughter. 111 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,990 What's the matter, you don't wanna hit me again? 112 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,634 From here on out, this place will hit you for me. 113 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,350 This orange thing, it's like, I glow in the dark. 114 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,351 The guard with the mustache keeps staring at me. 115 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:53,993 Since when do you hate that? 116 00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,959 You got any extra khakis? 117 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:04,270 No. Well, not in your size. 118 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:14,433 And don't be in such a rush to get out of that orange, sabes?: 119 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,398 Once you're in these, you're old news. 120 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,073 White girl said somethin' nasty about Red's food, 121 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,549 then Red sent her a message 'cause white girl better recognize. 122 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:29,635 A message? 123 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,551 Egg McTampon. Rare. 124 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,915 So now nobody's givin' her nothin' to eat. 125 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,479 Not until Red say so. 126 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,479 That's... 127 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,669 Thanks. 128 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,716 This ain't gonna get Red in trouble, right? 129 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:42,994 'Cause I ain't no snitch. 130 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,351 No. Of course not. I mean, probably not. 131 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:48,754 I haven't decided yet. 132 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:50,669 Hold up. 133 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,155 Where my candy? 134 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,638 Get me another towel. 135 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,148 Is this a bad time? 136 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,229 Moment. 137 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,630 About what I said yesterday? 138 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:50,390 It was careless and it was rude. And I am really sorry. 139 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,154 I appreciate everything that you do here, 140 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,549 I can't imagine how much work it takes, 141 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,552 and since we're clearly gonna be spending some time together... 142 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,870 Don't forget the toes, Norma. 143 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:11,873 I can tell you take pride in what you do, and I so respect that. 144 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,192 If someone insulted my work... 145 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,316 What is it, "Your work?" 146 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,990 I make artisanal bath products. We got into Barneys. 147 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,118 Artisanal? 148 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:27,313 I'm just saying we're not that different, you and I. That's all. 149 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,517 And I understand how stupid I've been. 150 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,632 I really apologize. 151 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,869 I'm sorry. 152 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,313 You seem sweet. 153 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,152 You really do, honey. 154 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,559 But I can't do shit with "I'm sorry." 155 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:03,708 Not in here. 156 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,558 Might not look like it, 157 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:10,148 but there's rules in this place. 158 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,196 The most important of which is, 159 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,752 the second you're perceived as weak, 160 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,238 you already are. 161 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:24,673 What do you want me to do? 162 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,992 You're a smart girl. 163 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,278 Figure something out. 164 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,630 That girl got some nice legs. 165 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,189 What the fuck is this? 166 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,270 It's my treat I'm savin'. Just leave it. 167 00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,315 Leave it? 168 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,068 Fuck leave it. 169 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,435 You can't put your sticky ice cream shit in here. 170 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:06,632 It ain't just an ice cream. It's a King Cone. 171 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,035 Man! 172 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,149 Get off me, girl! 173 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:18,274 Get this bitch off of me! 174 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,671 B fucking took my hair out! 175 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,995 B Dorm, Itza Martinez: : : 176 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:37,310 Please tell me y'all ain't fighting over ice cream. 177 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:39,429 King Cone. 178 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:10,589 You okay, Chapman? 179 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:13,949 Yeah. 180 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:16,719 You know, I'd give you a pretzel 181 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,438 but the walls have eyes, and I'm not retarded. 182 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:26,872 When I first got here, I had troubles like you. 183 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,715 There was a disagreement. 184 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,632 Then we brawled. 185 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,510 That's how you settled things. 186 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,559 And if I'd have won, 187 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,677 I'd have been la jefa: 188 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:43,392 Instead of this. 189 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,640 Thank God I got cancer. 190 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,993 No one fucks with cancer. 191 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:57,993 Good talk. 192 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,188 Fuck! 193 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,590 So it's nothing but lemonade? 194 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,468 It's a cleanse. 195 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,518 No vegetable juice? Fiber? 196 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,068 We are going to deny ourselves sustenance 197 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:30,550 while there are people that starve in Kinshasa? 198 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,193 It's racist to just say "Africa." 199 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,753 You put cayenne pepper in this? 200 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,150 Yes! Yes. It flushes out toxins. 201 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,511 We don't smoke, we don't snort crack. 202 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,429 Honey, don't you think the little rocks would hurt your nose 203 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,078 if you tried to snort crack? 204 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:52,675 I think you mean coke. 205 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,113 You know what I mean. 206 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,198 You know, you don't let me buy food unless it's locally-grown, 207 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,316 grass-fed, conflict-free... 208 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,356 I'm perfectly fine doing this on my own. 209 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,596 No. No, no, no, no. Honey, that's not what I'm saying. 210 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,477 -You're making fun of it. -No. I'm just... 211 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:06,788 When you said cleanse, 212 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,956 I thought you meant we'd be eating more kale. 213 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,799 We can eat more kale when we're transitioning back to food. 214 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:12,909 Okay. 215 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,118 What about dinners out? 216 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,754 Weekend brunches? 217 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,070 I mean, isn't this gonna turn us into anti-social losers? 218 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,511 Well, it doesn't have to. 219 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:34,669 I'm not gonna be the guy that shows up with his lemonade cuppie. 220 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,715 Okay. Okay. 221 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,515 For me, this is it for the next seven days. 222 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:48,151 If you wanna back out, I'm not gonna love you any less. 223 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,757 We did say that we were gonna do it together. 224 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,997 But if you don't wanna be "that guy," 225 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:58,278 I'm perfectly happy doing it on my own. 226 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,473 Well, where's the fun in that? 227 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,675 See? 228 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,953 Oh, God. 229 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,791 Number four, on the left. Next! 230 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:30,873 Turn around. 231 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,992 Hold it right there. 232 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:38,749 Next! 233 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,558 Look, it's the fiancé. 234 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,475 Put your bag down, please. 235 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:43,635 I should be on the list. 236 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,514 And I should be on American Idol, but I can't sing for shit. 237 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,233 No Larry Bloom here. 238 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:53,515 What? 239 00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:58,999 This is from last week. 240 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,193 Where's this week's? 241 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,078 In another office. 242 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,189 Have a seat. 243 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,471 When in the visitation room, you're allowed two hugs, 244 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,273 one on arrival, and one on departure: 245 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,710 Okay, try not to crowd around, ladies. Come on, now. 246 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,838 -Thank you. -Itza Martinez again: : : 247 00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,239 Thank you. 248 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:05,868 Can I have some gum? 249 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,595 Sorry. Can't do that. Inmates aren't allowed. 250 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,750 I get it. You can't give special treatment. 251 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,112 It'd look funny. Like I liked you. 252 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:18,429 Don't you? 253 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,359 Oh, my God, honey! 254 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:30,873 -Oh, baby. Hey! -Hi. 255 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,274 -Honey. -Hi. 256 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,589 That's enough. 257 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,630 -Sorry. I'm so sorry I'm late. -No. It's fine. 258 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:38,709 I swear I was here, 259 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,478 but I think they were, like, deliberately fucking with me. 260 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,636 No, whatever, it's fine. You're here. 261 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:43,869 You look great! 262 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,029 I mean, who knew you could rock orange? 263 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,190 -Please. Come on! -Seriously, 264 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,396 and your face is like all cheekboney. 265 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,836 Well, I haven't eaten since Wednesday. 266 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:53,909 What? 267 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:55,714 She's starving me out. 268 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:56,869 Who? 269 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,593 Oh, my God. 270 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,395 Do you have any change? 271 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,312 Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think so. What do you want? 272 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,153 Literally anything. Go. 273 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,075 No. 274 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,189 I don't think they work, honey. 275 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:25,355 No. 276 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:28,235 No! No. 277 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,993 Inmate, step away from the machine. 278 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:32,709 He just called you "inmate." 279 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:34,671 -You too, sir. -Sorry. 280 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,079 This is her. She did this. 281 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,434 Who? Who are you talking about? 282 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:41,192 The woman who runs the kitchen. 283 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:42,912 What? Why are we whispering? 284 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:46,673 She's starving me out. I insulted the food. 285 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,079 Piper. 286 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,113 Your foot in mouth disease? 287 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,872 I'm an idiot. 288 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,076 She's issued a fucking fatwa against me. 289 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,033 I think I'm gonna have to fight her. 290 00:21:58,160 --> 00:21:59,149 What? 291 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,515 How am I supposed to prison-fight an old Russian lady 292 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,397 with back problems? 293 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,313 Hey, Piper, come on. You're not. That's ridiculous. 294 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:10,188 You don't have to fight anybody. Okay? Hey, hey, hey, stop. Stop. 295 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:11,429 No touching. 296 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:12,789 Jesus. 297 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,119 It's gonna be okay. 298 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,115 All right? 299 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,759 Your commissary money's coming, right? 300 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,559 I sent the check the minute I left here. 301 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:22,629 Express mail. 302 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,676 Even if you have to live off Snickers bars, 303 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,318 it's gonna be okay. 304 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,718 I hate that you're seeing me like this. 305 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:36,754 At least I get to see you. 306 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,232 Tell me that you're not watching Mad Men: 307 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,309 What? 308 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,960 Promise me you're not watching Mad Men without me, 309 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,396 that when I get out of here, we're gonna binge watch it, together, 310 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,675 in bed, with take-out from... 311 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,354 -Gertie's? -Yes. Yes. 312 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:56,391 Yes. Of course. 100%. 313 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,880 Visiting hours have come to a close. 314 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,554 Jesus. Really? That was like two minutes. 315 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,835 Visitors, please make your way to the exit. 316 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,155 We can hug again. 317 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,748 -What? -Once coming in, once going out. 318 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:11,274 Come here. 319 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:16,395 I love you, babe. 320 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:57,309 Sorry. 321 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,148 Red? 322 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:12,389 Red? 323 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:17,989 What is it? 324 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:20,954 Betty's dead. 325 00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,157 She was a good girl. 326 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,713 No one heard her go. 327 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,919 Get over it. It's a freezer. 328 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,515 See, what happened here was a breach in the main coolant line. 329 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,113 Big, nasty breach. 330 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,112 Ugly breach. Bad, bad breach. 331 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:42,679 What's that smell? 332 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:44,355 That's the Freon. 333 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:46,792 Some people use it for huffing. 334 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,316 Makes for a super intense, but short-lived high. 335 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,915 Similar to crack but without the migraines. 336 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:58,353 Put those in ice water. Don't stack those, Gina. 337 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:00,794 Nice pussy. 338 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,035 Don't ask. 339 00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:03,792 I don't intend to. 340 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,797 Thanksgiving's coming twice this year, ladies. 341 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,518 Spread the word. 342 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,192 Okay, I understand what you have to do. 343 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,548 What? 344 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,199 I'm not a fighter. 345 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:16,869 Go ahead. 346 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,399 I'm a little busy here. Pick up those rags. 347 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,675 -I'm not going to swing first. -Good. 348 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,553 -Just hit me and get it over with. -I said I'm a little busy. 349 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,039 I'm not leaving until you do it. 350 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,592 Wow. 351 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,313 You want me to hit you? 352 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:31,594 Yeah. 353 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,438 Okay, get ready. 354 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:40,078 You called my food disgusting. 355 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:48,597 You're not getting hazed, you're not getting harassed, 356 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,079 you're getting starved. 357 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:54,919 To death. 358 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,993 You'll leave Litchfield as a skeleton in a body bag. 359 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:05,156 Now, march your yuppie ass outta my kitchen. 360 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,191 Slowly, so you don't burn too many calories. 361 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,118 So the third time, same thing happens. 362 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,953 And the farmer looks at his wife, then back at the penguin, 363 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,952 and finally the penguin goes, 364 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:31,711 "He's not an eggplant, man. He's retarded." 365 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,399 You get it? 'Cause he... 366 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:37,509 We get it. 367 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,114 My brother was retarded. 368 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:43,993 So sorry to hear that. 369 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,032 You know, my husband's a little slow. 370 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,389 Says he was dropped on his head when he was born. Just my luck. 371 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,313 They couldn't have dropped him on his dick? 372 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,876 I think I slept wrong last night. 373 00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,951 Should we call it a short walk today, ladies? 374 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,156 -Yes. -You barely broke a sweat. 375 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,475 Oh, my son has dentist appointment. 376 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:05,749 Okay. 377 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:07,068 We're close to your house, no? 378 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,309 Yeah. Right over there. 379 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,274 Same time tomorrow? 380 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:11,839 We'll let you know. 381 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:24,435 Oh, shit! 382 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:28,319 Did no one think to turn this off? 383 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:40,709 Where is his highness? 384 00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:44,349 You're out of bounds. 385 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,198 -Healy? -Sir, I told her not to... 386 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:47,599 Jesus Christ! 387 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:49,639 I need a new freezer. 388 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,032 We can talk about this later, Red. 389 00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:54,395 You have been saying that for three years. 390 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,191 We're dealing with a very serious budget situation here. 391 00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,109 Should I subdue the inmate? 392 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:03,398 The warden has been very clear about spending this quarter. 393 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,358 You want me to walk? I'll walk, happily. 394 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,673 Remember the last time I gave back the keys to the kitchen? 395 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:13,988 I'll see what I can do. 396 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:16,599 Thank you. 397 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,277 Like a dying animal it smells in there. 398 00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:26,079 A dying animal, or just a man who eats your food? 399 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,519 With you, too. 400 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:35,469 That smells fantastic. It's like fresh muffins. 401 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:36,999 Dried blueberries. 402 00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:38,917 Twelve fuckin' pounds of 'em. 403 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,595 Funnest hobby ever. You seen my headphones? 404 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:43,669 Left drawer. 405 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:45,068 So you can put anything in there? 406 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:46,189 Just about. 407 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,670 Peppermint, basil, grapefruits, vanilla. 408 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:50,749 She won't do chocolate. 409 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,871 -It never works. -Or popcorn. 410 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,831 We're making soap, not Jelly Bellys. 411 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:56,109 Sweet. 412 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,793 You know, for Amy, I think you'd want something more along the lines 413 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:03,475 of sage, patchouli, maybe eucalyptus? 414 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,839 She's allergic to eucalyptus, or she hates it. I can't remember. 415 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:09,035 Really? Who hates eucalyptus? 416 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,873 Larry's mother. She thinks they're "dirty trees." 417 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,035 You're still with that guy? 418 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:14,829 Thought you wouldn't make it two months. 419 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:16,871 -Pete! -What? You said so, too. 420 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:19,914 They're moving in together. 421 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:23,709 Already? Shit. You are still a lesbian. 422 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:27,994 -I'm out, ladies. -Okay. 423 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,711 You could sell these, you know. 424 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,391 At farmers markets, little boutique stores. 425 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:39,879 I just kinda like making 'em. 426 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,554 I could be your partner. 427 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,229 What? 428 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,751 This could be something. 429 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,512 I mean, this could be a thing, Pol. 430 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,757 Market it right and package it right, this is money. 431 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:57,628 I mean, it smells so fucking good in here. 432 00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,958 I can make this money. 433 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,357 I make lotions, too. 434 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,236 Yo, y'all got headphones for movie night? 435 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,032 Sold the last pair this morning. 436 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,556 That's some bullshit. I ain't tryin' to watch no silent movie. 437 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:15,193 Sold out. Next. 438 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,434 Spanish ladies are calling you La Llorona, the wailing lady. 439 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,113 Well, they would've screamed just as loud 440 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,077 if someone handed them a used tampon sandwich. 441 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:25,388 Oh, yeah. 442 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,514 Or if they suddenly saw an ex-girlfriend in prison. 443 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:29,715 Hey, what's her name? Alex? 444 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,035 What did she say to you? 445 00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:35,958 Not a word. I just know dyke drama when I see it. 446 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,199 You gonna buy something or not? 447 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:45,879 Yes. Hi, I should have some credit here. My fiancé sent a check on Wednesday. 448 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,235 Take seven day to process. 449 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:50,231 You can use mine. It's not like you're going anywhere. 450 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,436 -For food? -Fuck no. 451 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:54,069 Okay. 452 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:55,389 Yo, Chang. 453 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,231 So, some rubber gloves. 454 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:01,913 Okay, so maybe some cocoa butter? 455 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:03,075 Cocoa butter? 456 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,556 Maybe like a sieve of some kind. A strainer? 457 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,672 Okay. All right. Yo, you got a strainer? 458 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,513 This is a cup. Knock yourself out. 459 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,831 You know how often I come by new weave? 460 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:25,558 You probably gonna look like this till Christmas. 461 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:28,677 I paid you seven bottles of Pantene for this shit. 462 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,638 Ain't my fault you went all UFC over a King Cone. 463 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,599 And if you call it "shit" one more time, you can take your ass down to Danita. 464 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:37,594 How much to fix it? 465 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,119 Excuse me? 466 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,953 Hi. I'm Chapman. 467 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:47,478 Yeah, that's me. 468 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,114 I heard you might have something that I need. 469 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,236 J. Crew is around the corner. 470 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:55,869 Yeah. 471 00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:02,672 Cocoa butter, or shea butter? Do you have either of those? 472 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,233 Maybe. 473 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,311 I would just need an ounce or two. 474 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,393 Ain't you the one they're starving out? 475 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:10,629 Yeah. 476 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,553 You got some fucked-up priorities. 477 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,313 We work on a barter system here. You know what that means, right? 478 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:17,389 Yes. 479 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:21,473 Three shower caps or a round brush. Whichever they got at commissary. 480 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,476 Gladly. I will get them to you the second that my money comes in. 481 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,148 Credit declined. 482 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:30,629 Please. 483 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,150 "Please" is for commissary hoes and Oliver Twist. 484 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,752 -Hold up. -Some of us tryin' to work here. 485 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:38,829 I got an idea. 486 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:41,759 But you ain't gonna like it. 487 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,276 Got that new toupe, Boo. 488 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,438 Chapman's going around asking for weird stuff, Red. 489 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:09,555 What stuff? 490 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,591 She's trying to get her hands on hot peppers. 491 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:12,874 You think she's gonna mace you? 492 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,797 I don't think so. 493 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,316 But if she does, worst case, I'll get off my feet for a week. 494 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:19,913 No, but it wouldn't hurt your feet. 495 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,996 -It's an expression. -Mace burns your eyes. 496 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:23,991 Jesus, God. 497 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,039 You okay, Chapman? 498 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:42,239 Tonight's movie will be the airplane edit of Good Luck Chuck, 499 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,869 which Roger Ebert gives one star: 8:: 00 p: m: 500 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,069 Are you the new girl? 501 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:52,395 Yes, I am. Piper. 502 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,312 And you are? 503 00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:02,076 Sue. It's short for Susie, which is short for Suzanne. 504 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:03,909 You like spicy food? 505 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,275 Sometimes. 506 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,749 One of my girlfriends, she was Mexican, real-talk. 507 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:14,353 She gone now, 508 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,471 but she left these. 509 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:25,793 I have nothing to trade you for those. 510 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,713 People forget we was all new here once. 511 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,032 It's good to know you ain't alone. 512 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:49,638 This feels awesome!! 513 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,189 My senses feel heightened, I'm like a fucking werewolf. 514 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:54,309 Larry? 515 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:58,598 My skin is clear, I'm lighter on my feet, and in the bathroom this morning... 516 00:34:58,680 --> 00:34:59,669 Oh, please. 517 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,832 Epic. Even better than yesterday. Lord of the Rings: 518 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:12,798 What if we only did this for five days? 519 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:17,239 You wanna cut it short? 520 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,951 Not cut it short. Just... 521 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,115 Yes. 522 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,318 This was your idea. 523 00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,829 Can we not make it a thing? This doesn't have to be a thing. 524 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,194 It's not a competition. 525 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,032 I mean, you can't win the Master Cleanse. 526 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:34,628 Can't I? 527 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,917 Here, drink up, love. 528 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:40,713 All right? 529 00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:42,155 You'll feel better. 530 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:51,509 What is that? 531 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:53,192 You are not a werewolf. 532 00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:56,948 What are you doing? 533 00:35:57,680 --> 00:35:59,750 You, fucker. Seriously? 534 00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:02,039 It was all that we had. 535 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,754 Mr. Fox's Honey Barbecue Pork Rinds? 536 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:05,875 They're baked. 537 00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,110 Piper, we were in this together. 538 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,714 I know, I'm sorry. 539 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:13,872 Oh, God. 540 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:18,559 You smell so good. 541 00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:23,200 Oh, my God. Come here. 542 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:34,908 I totally win. 543 00:36:38,720 --> 00:36:44,113 Two, nine and seventeen, dinner is now available: 544 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,070 Don't be so sad. 545 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,116 Poor little baby. 546 00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,194 Dinner's in five. I hear it's a big one. 547 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:39,391 Thank you, dead bitch. 548 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,836 Don't forget, ladies, your usual meal is 1, 500 calories: 549 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,673 -Ain't nobody got this. It's that hotness. -Beware of overeating: 550 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:47,233 That new shit. 551 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,959 My hair is yellow as that corn right there, girl. 552 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,436 -No, no, no. Look, I love these things. -I want extra. 553 00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:58,398 -Yeah, can I get some more corn? -No. 554 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:34,111 Navi. Amy. 555 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:40,551 Forgot I even had this. 556 00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:43,949 No thanks, love, I'm too old for hooch. 557 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:47,436 Don't insult me. Single malt. 1 2 year. 558 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:55,159 Jesus Christ! 559 00:39:55,240 --> 00:39:58,835 And that was in '04. It's only gotten better. 560 00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,832 -So have we. -Tell my ass. 561 00:40:58,680 --> 00:40:59,999 Oh, no. 562 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:06,515 Red. 563 00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:10,269 And the penguin goes, "He's not an eggplant, he's retarded." 564 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:11,713 It's fucking funny. 565 00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:13,839 It's just not. 566 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,392 on your head make me giggle though. 567 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:18,469 You... 568 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:26,519 Oh, shit. 569 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:31,273 What the fuck were you thinking? After all Ganya's done for us. 570 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,152 He loved those tits. 571 00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,510 He'll get them back. There's plenty more of them at the tit store. 572 00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:38,512 Did you count to 1 0? You're supposed to count to 1 0. 573 00:41:38,720 --> 00:41:40,676 I never even wanted to speak to those pizdy!! 574 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:41,875 You made me. 575 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:43,712 Why did you do such a thing? 576 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,509 Because they left me out! Because they made fun of me! 577 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:51,115 Because no matter how hard you try and how much we want it, 578 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,476 there's the people who serve the bread, and the people who eat the bread! 579 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:58,838 And for once, it would be nice if you would be on my side. 580 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:19,549 How bad? 581 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,115 They want $60,000. 582 00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:28,471 No boob job costs $60,000. 583 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:29,879 It's crazy. 584 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:31,279 This one does. 585 00:42:33,240 --> 00:42:36,915 I was... I was just... 586 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,438 They're so mean. 587 00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:42,956 So are the men they married. 588 00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,273 They meaner. 589 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:50,117 I'm sorry, Dima. 590 00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,594 We'll figure out something. 591 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:00,474 We always do. 592 00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:04,429 It's okay. 593 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:13,955 Red? 594 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:15,835 She's busy. 595 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:17,473 This'll only take a second. 596 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,438 For your back. 597 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,478 It's jalapeno rub. 598 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:27,994 I made it myself. 599 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:34,157 The capsaicin in the peppers creates heat which is good for sore muscles, 600 00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:36,999 and the cocoa butter is gentle on the skin. 601 00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:43,315 We have a similar product in our line and my dad swears by it. 602 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:44,628 He's got sciatica. 603 00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,716 These are wrong. They should say "March." 604 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:50,189 You can go now. 605 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,392 Count time starts now. Count time! 606 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:13,394 Line it up. Stop the chatter. 607 00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:20,839 Count time! 608 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:27,679 Dorm A, one through 20. 609 00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:42,548 Get that garbage out of there. 610 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,550 All good. Thank you, ladies. 611 00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:58,709 All good. 612 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,592 Wilson into left field: Beautiful hit: 613 00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,749 : : : eludes one tackler: And he's brought down hard: 614 00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,677 "One imagines somewhere in an attic 615 00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,320 "there 's a painting of him that's rapidly aging: " 616 00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,271 For a guy from Ad Age, he can really write: 617 00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:38,112 He also says you're married: 618 00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:42,279 Jesus: He never asked me that: Did he check any facts?: 619 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,955 You didn 't give him any facts: He had to make some assumptions: 620 00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:50,033 My job is to write ads, not go around talking about who I am: 621 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:51,229 Who knows who you are?: 622 00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:54,278 This was supposed to be an advertisement for the firm: 623 00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,874 -Why do you have so many copies?: -I bought one to read: 624 00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:58,791 And I was going to buy one to frame in reception: 625 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:01,910 That new freezer cost more than my car. 626 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:05,516 -F reon leak? -Most likely. 627 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:09,479 You know, huffers, addicts. Anything to get high. 628 00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:15,959 Anyone in here huff that much Freon, we'd have a body to show for it. 629 00:46:19,720 --> 00:46:22,917 Even you gotta know when you're gettin' played. 630 00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:27,072 Catholic, Buddhist, Jewish and Muslim services 631 00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:30,152 will begin tomorrow in the chapel at 9 :: 00 AM: 632 00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:46,998 They said to give you this. 633 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:53,513 Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, it worked? 634 00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,750 It must've worked. 635 00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,751 -Your back cream? -Yeah. 636 00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,115 She said it burned, it made her smell like a Puerto Rican, 637 00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:01,269 but you're good now. 638 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,352 Everyone saw how hard you worked. "A" for Effort. 639 00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:12,033 It's not that good. 640 00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:19,557 -Next. -Thank you. 641 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,274 Next. 642 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,069 What? 643 00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:36,195 Next. 644 00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:51,589 Hello? 645 00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:07,309 Put that in. 646 00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:17,635 It's fine. 647 00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:21,392 This will make things right for us. 648 00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:23,239 This doesn't feel right. 649 00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:29,229 We're fine. We'll work it out. 650 00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:03,153 Sorry. 651 00:49:59,920 --> 00:50:01,638 Have you considered the possibility 652 00:50:01,720 --> 00:50:03,392 the reason you haven't been laid in the last decade 653 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:05,516 has something to do with your routine use of the word "Trim "?: 654 00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:09,719 Yeah, seven days a week, 56 weeks a year, "Trim!" 655 00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:12,309 That's my bad: 656 00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:14,439 Where 's your manners, shithead?: