1 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,720 ESMERALDA: Pride month is starting. 2 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:11,840 We have to get ready. This meeting is about the pride float. 3 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:14,960 I thought maybe gay pride and prejudice. 4 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,080 - It's too stiff. - Dungeons and drag queens. 5 00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:19,200 - Ha! - Hell yeah. - I hate that so much. 6 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,520 Pride float is supposed to be a lot of fun. 7 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,040 No, I'm not gay. 8 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,400 I- Um... (CLICKS TONGUE) 9 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,920 Ned asked me to be there, and he didn't say why, 10 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,880 but I assumed it was to reel Esmeralda in. 11 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,320 How would everyone feel about 12 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,840 Esmeralda throwing rainbow-coloured toilet rolls 13 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,720 into the crowd at the parade? - I don't think that's necessary. 14 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,240 No one wants rainbow toilet paper. 15 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,480 Love your opinion. 16 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:43,680 Oscar, your voice is incredibly valuable. 17 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,000 (CLEARS THROAT) 18 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:50,400 Market research shows 19 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:55,240 that these are gonna be absolutely huge in June. 20 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:57,240 And if we want to keep up with the big boys, 21 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,720 we need to go even further. Maybe make some brunch napkins. 22 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:01,240 - Oh, yes. - Something like that. 23 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,800 Gays love brunch. 24 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:09,360 I love celebrating the LGBTQIA plus community. 25 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,760 If it was down to me... 26 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:15,240 ..our corporation would support gay people all year round. 27 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,680 (LIGHT THEME MUSIC) 28 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,200 (MUSIC FADES, ENDS) 29 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:47,840 NED: Hey, everyone. Meet Toledo PD's Detective Arnold. 30 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,680 (SLOW CLAPPING) 31 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,880 Thanks, Travis. How's your dad? 32 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,840 He is in a really bad place right now. 33 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:57,920 Oh. 34 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,560 The detective has been briefing me 35 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,320 about a very important public safety matter. 36 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,400 - He's made me a kind of deputy. - No. 37 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,520 Not a deputy, but, uh, I have been deputised. 38 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,080 No, you have not. 39 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,000 But you agree I've been briefed? 40 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,160 Sure. 41 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,120 Uh, is this a true crime? 42 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,360 And if so, how detailed are you gonna get? 43 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,480 I love true crime. Calms me down before I go to sleep. 44 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,680 Oh, my God, me too. I was like this close 45 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,760 to starting a murder podcast. - I'd listen to that. 46 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:27,640 I'm afraid this is worse. 47 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,160 - Worse than murder? - No, worse than a murder podcast. 48 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,640 An alt-comedy podcast with a religious bent? 49 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:35,000 That bad. I mean, we're talking about a catfisher 50 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,840 who's preying on women online. 51 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,080 Well, American women are so gullible. 52 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:44,200 Do you know that over half of them die from eating expired food? 53 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,360 What? Seriously? 54 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,840 - Like, is that per year? - See? 55 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,200 Thank you, Detective Arnold. 56 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,360 I have your number because you gave it to me on this card. 57 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,160 No? Oh, sorry. 58 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,360 And I just want to say thanks, 59 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,600 and I'll check in with you this afternoon. 60 00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,920 Only if it's important. 61 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:04,240 Oh, no, no. Hey, I wouldn't take the softies whiteboards. 62 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,440 Kimberly gets really territorial about them. 63 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:07,520 Kimberly will be fine. 64 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:12,480 OK, everybody. I think this could be a good story for today's paper. 65 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,600 - I love catfish. - This is what we know so far. 66 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,360 I'm referring to me and the police. 67 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:23,080 So, a serial catfisher on the dating app Latch has been posing 68 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:26,320 as service members who grew up in Toledo. 69 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:29,320 This catfisher matches on the app with a real Toledoan 70 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,440 and then reveals that they are "stationed in Germany." 71 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,680 After a lot of flattery and flirtation over DM, 72 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,600 the catfish drops that they don't have enough money 73 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,360 to come home for Thanksgiving. 74 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:41,720 We see where this is going. 75 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:45,440 The pathetic mark, out of pity, or more probably lust, 76 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,280 these are lonely people, 77 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,760 they start wiring money to the catfish. 78 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,880 At first, just enough for the plane ticket home from Germany to Ohio, 79 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:56,680 but soon the love letters multiply, OK, along with requests 80 00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:00,600 for more funds. The nicknames the catfish will often use. 81 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,160 Sweet Cheeks. (ADELOLA LAUGHS) 82 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,280 - It's not funny. - Sorry. 83 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,840 Baby Babe. Cookie Princess. 84 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,360 Baby Baby. 85 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,080 And babe babe, 86 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,720 also sometimes just baby, 87 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:15,160 but you should look out for all of them. - No way. 88 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,680 (MARE GASPS) 89 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,840 What's going on? 90 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,840 I'm concerned for a friend of mine. 91 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,600 She is like a sister to me. 92 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:31,400 She is like- Yeah, dark hair, tiny, beautiful. 93 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:32,800 She's like a twin. 94 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,760 Like, imagine the German version of me. 95 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,120 So I'm just a bit worried that she could be the victim 96 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:44,000 of this dangerous internet catman. 97 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,640 ADELOLA: Oh, she's so got catfished. 98 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,400 You're burnt, Esmeralda! 99 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,080 What's the beef with me and Esmeralda? 100 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,160 Well, I made a list. 101 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,160 She told me my voice puts her to sleep. 102 00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,440 She told me to put on blush because I blended into the white wall. 103 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:05,040 I dress like I shop from a box of clothes from an estate sale 104 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,080 for an old man who died a virgin. 105 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,760 That one's oddly specific. 106 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,360 Oh, yeah, and she made me buy her son a guinea pig 107 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,760 with my own money. 108 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,960 So, yeah, I'm gonna hit her while she's down. 109 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:18,280 - It looked like she saw a ghost. - That's what that was. 110 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:21,120 Oh, wow. This could be a huge story for us. 111 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,560 This could be a three-parter. 112 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,920 The Cleveland plane dealer won a Sydney award last year 113 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:27,640 for my steps on the cult leader. 114 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,760 Ooh! I read that. I blame the dad. 115 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,120 Imagine, right? The first instalment, 116 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,800 we just say the facts. 117 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,560 Then we reveal it happened to one of our own. 118 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,600 Part two, we publish the DMs. 119 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,600 Can the victim ever trust again? 120 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:45,200 Then, oh, my God. Part three, are our apps failing us? 121 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,480 How can she find love now? Ah! 122 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:51,640 - (whispers) Oh, God. - She has a son too. 123 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:55,240 Oh, did he ever call him dad? Hee-hee! Four parts! 124 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,000 How much money do you think she gave him? 125 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,840 - 1200. Easy. - Nah, that's a lot. 126 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:02,000 - (LAUGHS) Should we bet on it? - MARE: You guys, 127 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,200 I know what we're thinking. We don't actually know. 128 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,440 And honestly, we really shouldn't be victim shaming, 129 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,920 even if the victim is- 130 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,880 A self-hating woman who has way too many serpent bells. 131 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,400 - A really mean lady. - Alright. We got it out of our system. 132 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:17,680 That is a strong six parts and a possible making of. 133 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,200 I'm going to go talk to her. 134 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:20,600 (AWKWARD MUTTERING) 135 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,640 I just want to say for the record, guys, 136 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,120 catfish are beautiful creatures 137 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,200 and they don't deserve to be slandered like this. 138 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,360 Who the (BLEEP) took my whiteboard? 139 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:36,520 (KNOCKING) 140 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,040 - Hey, buddy. - Hi. 141 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,320 Couldn't help noticing you reacted pretty strongly 142 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,360 to that catfishing story back there. 143 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,240 I react strongly to everything. 144 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,400 Life is strong, and I'm a strong woman. 145 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,400 I don't mean to pry, but... (SIGHS) 146 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,280 ..have you been corresponding with a serviceman 147 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:54,520 stationed in Germany by any chance? 148 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:57,240 I'm sorry, I think I didn't hear you. 149 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,440 Actually, I think I'm feeling a bit dizzy. 150 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,080 Oh, OK. (MOANS) 151 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,680 Can you please blow on the part of my hair? 152 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,320 Sure, sure, sure. 153 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,080 I was an elite toilet paper salesman, 154 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:15,600 and that takes patience. 155 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,520 People don't always need toilet paper 156 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,400 when you're trying to sell it to them. 157 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,080 But eventually, they will need it. 158 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,440 And who will be there when they need to use the bathroom? 159 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,400 What's his name? 160 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,680 Jarson. 161 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,320 - His name is Jarson? - Yes. 162 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,240 It's a common American name. 163 00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:37,480 It's- It's Jason and Jared combined. 164 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,360 Ah! OK. 165 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,320 You know, I'd love to ask you and Jarson a few questions 166 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,800 about your relationship. How did you meet? 167 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,120 (APP CHIMES) 168 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,360 Ah! (LAUGHS) Oh, my God, he just replied! 169 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,840 Oh, he messaged you back right now? 170 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,840 He must have awoken in the middle of the German night 171 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,520 to urinate, you know? 172 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,840 Thinking about me. 173 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,200 (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) 174 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,000 So he's not scamming me! 175 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,920 - Sounds- Sounds real. - That's what he's saying! 176 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:08,480 He's saying that he feels very bad about borrowing money from me, 177 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:13,240 and he can't wait to pay it back. He's very excited about it. 178 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:17,000 So perhaps it's going to happen on our first anniversary. 179 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,960 (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) No story there. 180 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,240 - No. - I feel so relieved. 181 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,080 That is exciting. Can I speak to Jarson? 182 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,680 - No. - No? - No. 183 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,960 - Can- Can I see those messages? - No, no, no. 184 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:28,040 - OK. - No. 185 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,160 Please, Esmeralda, so I just- I think it's really important, OK? 186 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,320 - Yes. - Um, that you understand 187 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,280 that you could help a lot of people by participating in this story, 188 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:37,760 but first... - Yes. 189 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,200 ..you need to admit the truth to yourself. 190 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,480 Here's my truth. 191 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,440 I need you to go away because I need to take some nudes 192 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,920 to send to Jarson. 193 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,120 - OK. - Thank you. 194 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,480 - Sure. - Ciao. 195 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:49,520 Mm-hmm. 196 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,360 She shouldn't be taking nudes. 197 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,880 ADELOLA: Yeah, no, I'll stick with that. 198 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,600 OK, so that is 2500 for Adelola. 199 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,640 So I guess 2501. 200 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,520 Don't you box me in, you son of a bitch. 201 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,400 Esmeralda's not ready to talk yet. We cannot get to a six-parter 202 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,360 without somebody's point of view. What do we do? 203 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,240 Why don't we just make Latch profiles? 204 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:12,240 Yes! 205 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,720 So we can catfish Esmeralda into doing the story? 206 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,600 No. Well, maybe. 207 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,840 I think Mare is saying so we can try to get a nibble 208 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,080 from the real catfish. 209 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,040 Does anybody already have a Latch profile? 210 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,520 - Mm-hmm. - (CLICKS TONGUE) I do. 211 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,760 So, last week, Nicole and I, um... 212 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,080 ..we finally hung out. 213 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,200 Then a couple nights later, we hung out again. 214 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,480 I deleted my app immediately after the first hangout 215 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,840 when she was in the bathroom. 216 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,520 But I think we're gonna take things slow. 217 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,520 So, um, I won't mention it. 218 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:44,600 - You're not on Latch? - I deactivated my Latch account. 219 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,960 Well, you didn't have to do that. 220 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,200 Yeah, yeah. I- I know. I just needed more storage on my phone. 221 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,240 OK, well, you should reactivate it. 222 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,640 Right. For the story. 223 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,280 And to meet girls. 224 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,560 Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. For sex, right? 225 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,000 We're having a lot of fun with each other, 226 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,720 but he's still Detrick Work in my phone contacts. 227 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:12,640 Alright, everybody else create your Latch profiles, 228 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,120 and I will try to coax a yes out of Esmeralda. 229 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:18,640 Oh, guys, this is wrong. 230 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:19,880 Come on. 231 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,960 She's down at least 4,000. 232 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,520 - NICOLE: Yeah. - ADELOLA: Mm... 233 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,240 Ooh, the nudes, 4200. 234 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:27,440 Mm-hmm. 235 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,160 Hey. Tea delivery. 236 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,400 Thank you. 237 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,600 Such a nice idea for someone that drinks only coffee. 238 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,320 You know, I've had this experience happen to me, actually. 239 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,480 When I was in eighth grade, I gave my padlock combo to a girl 240 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,640 who told me she was gonna decorate my locker. 241 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,200 She stole my backpack. 242 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,080 (LAUGHING) Oh... I'm sorry. 243 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:54,600 (CONTINUES LAUGHING) 244 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,520 Ah... I'm sorry. 245 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,440 If you don't do this interview, 246 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,520 you let other people tell your story. 247 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,480 (LAUGHS) ...delusional. (CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY) 248 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:11,560 So what? 249 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,760 What's all the talk about? 250 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,440 What are the chattering chickens clacking about? 251 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,840 My boyfriend? 252 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:22,040 Here he is. 253 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:27,560 (SIGHS) That's a picture of him holding a picture of me. 254 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,600 Look at his hands, like, the way he holds my picture. 255 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,360 That looks like Josh Holloway. 256 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,760 No, that's my Jerson. 257 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:36,920 - That guy? - Yes. 258 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:38,400 - From Lost? - Yeah, he was. 259 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,280 Until he found me. 260 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,800 Whoa, that's- That's Sawyer from Lost. 261 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,680 Josh Holloway. Rourke from Yellowstone. 262 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,160 - That's great. - He lives in Hawaii. 263 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,320 - Or so I've heard. - Yeah, Esmeralda, that's- 264 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,480 That's just a famous actor the catfisher is using 265 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,760 to seem attractive. I mean, Jarson could be anybody. 266 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,040 - He might be 11 years old. - Ooh! 267 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,480 Yes, of course. (LAUGHS) 268 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,600 When there is a group of single women 269 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:06,400 and one woman finds happiness in love, 270 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:12,160 the other single women try to take that happy woman down. 271 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:17,120 You know, like, um, in a bowling pot of lobsters, 272 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:18,560 you know, lobsters? 273 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:21,200 Do you know that the male lobsters 274 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,680 all lazily accept their fate, 275 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:28,040 while the female lobsters try to get out, 276 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:32,320 but, you know, clawing down each other during the process? 277 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,680 They will not claw down this lobster. 278 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,920 Hey, I thought you weren't creating a Latch profile 279 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,520 because you were scared of Summer. - My wife is not the boss of me. 280 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,320 My boss is the boss of me. 281 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,920 And my boss told me to create a bangin' profile, so- 282 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:58,120 That is a lot of right swipes for a guy with four kids. 283 00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,640 Wait, I know this girl. 284 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:03,120 Alyssa. I went to junior high with her. I liked her. 285 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,680 Summer told me she died. 286 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,920 I sent, like, an Edible Arrangements and everything. 287 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,360 Hey, Mare? 288 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,600 - Yes? - Yeah, what's a fun military slang? 289 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,600 What is this? You're doing a Sporcle quiz? 290 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,200 No, I'm updating my Latch profile. 291 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,600 I figure a good victim would be a fan of the military. 292 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,880 You just wanted me to pop out a fun term for you? 293 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,960 Sounds like a lot of stolen valour, Ned. 294 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,440 Oh, no, no, no. I didn't mean to do that. 295 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,640 I'm screwing with you. 296 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:32,120 Say that you're into, um... Squids. That means Navy. 297 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,120 "I like squid." Great. 298 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,680 OK, now I get to see the rest of your profile. 299 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,000 - Mm... - What? 300 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,600 To be clear, as your boss, 301 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,880 I am not asking you to look at my dating profile, 302 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,800 nor, frankly, I'm not sure why you would even want to do that. 303 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,440 OK, it's for work, so it's fine. 304 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,040 - OK. - Thank you. (CLEARS THROAT) 305 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:54,280 "I may be 6'3", but I still like being the little spoon." 306 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,920 OK, this isn't work. Razzing me, not a part of work. 307 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,400 (LAUGHS) 308 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,160 (SIGHS) 309 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,560 This is potentially a huge opportunity for me. 310 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:10,600 They say that if you nurse a wounded tiger back to good health, 311 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,960 he won't attack you. 312 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:14,440 Eh... 313 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,600 - Get out. - And off I go. 314 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,480 (KEYBOARD CLACKING) 315 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,920 - So, I re-downloaded Latch. - Uh-huh. 316 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,440 It's funny because I randomly had so many messages in my inbox. 317 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,240 Look, it's the 5 AM weather girl from WNWO. 318 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,520 - Uh-huh. - She's practically famous. 319 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,360 What are you doing? 320 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:46,280 I am letting Esmeralda's professional colleagues know 321 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:50,680 that she's going through a difficult time so they can reach out. 322 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:53,200 You think that's something she wants you to do? 323 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,200 I don't think she's in the right frame of mind 324 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,600 to know what she needs. 325 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,720 - OK. - Don't delete my Frisbee shot. 326 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,240 That's my best picture. 327 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,640 - The angle makes my arms look thick. - What is it with you and headwear? 328 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:07,840 I mean, who do you think you are, Diane Keaton? 329 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,040 Ooh! You look rich in this photo. 330 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,400 That is good Jarson bait. 331 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,400 Actually, you look rich in a lot of these photos. 332 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,720 - No, I don't. - I'm sorry. 333 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,640 Does your family own their own pickleball court? 334 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,040 That's not pickleball. It's platform tennis. 335 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:25,920 My uncle had one installed two summers ago, 336 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:28,480 and he is strictly middle class. - Mm-hmm. 337 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,480 That was a huge part of his mayoral platform. 338 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,240 Sweetie, she was a good friend of mine. 339 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,600 Or is a good friend of mine. I just haven't seen her in years 340 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,240 because you told me she was dead. 341 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,520 Well, I- I care because it's not true. 342 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:40,680 You didn't just get it wrong. 343 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,840 You told me she hit her head on a coral reef off of Komodo Island 344 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,920 and the dragons got to what was left. It was very graphic. 345 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:50,560 No, no- No, no, no. No. I told you that was for work. 346 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,360 Uh, well, you're not supporting me as a journalist. 347 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,520 This is exactly why I keep my private life private 348 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,840 and never mess with dating apps of any kind. 349 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:06,280 (APP NOTIFICATIONS CHIMING ON PHONE) 350 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,120 ESMERALDA: Hey, party people! 351 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,840 Esmeralda, hey, I was just coming to check on you. 352 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,280 I have an announcement. 353 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:18,800 Jarson just sent me proof his love for me is real. 354 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,240 Hey, darling. This is Jarson. 355 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:26,120 To let you know just how adored you really are, Esmeralda. 356 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,200 Oh, me too. I love you, amore. See? 357 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,960 Now, I hope this proves to your office friends that Jarson is real. 358 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:36,080 Jarson is not scamming you. And Jarson loves you. 359 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:42,800 So my sweetie just proved that his love for me is real. 360 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:46,800 And he just looks like that Josh Halloween person. 361 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,480 How do you explain the other victims? 362 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,920 That's a very romantic story. (LAUGHS) 363 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:54,560 Because he's actually my personal Robin Hood. 364 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,880 Yes, he scammed other women. 365 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,800 But it's just because he wanted to buy jewels for me 366 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,320 that he will bring when we meet in person. 367 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,600 - Oh, honey. - I think it's a cameo video. 368 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,400 TRAVIS: Yeah, there was a glaring edit. 369 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,640 And I'll tell you what, he should have used AI to smooth it out. 370 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,640 The catfisher paid Josh to make a video. 371 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,800 That's how come he keeps talking about Jarson in the third person. 372 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,840 You don't believe in love. 373 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,440 People talk like that all the time. 374 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,600 Esmeralda thinks you're all stupid! 375 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:25,760 See? 376 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,800 - What do you want? - I just want you to listen, OK? 377 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,720 I know this is embarrassing. 378 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,160 For you, maybe, because you're so alone. 379 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,600 And I'm so loved. 380 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,320 You are his piggy bank, OK? He's taking advantage of you. 381 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,320 I'm taking care of him. 382 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,280 That's what a woman does. 383 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,280 A woman makes her man happy. 384 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:55,480 And I bet that 50 dollars would make him very happy right now. 385 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,600 What, did you just wire him more money? 386 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,040 (LAUGHS) Oh... (COMPUTER CHIMES) 387 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,320 I did it again. 388 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,280 No, no, no. That's 150 dollars. Please stop. 389 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,600 You keep talking. I keep sending. 390 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:10,520 Allora, our hearts are connected through Cash App. 391 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:15,360 So as soon as I feel something, he feels it on his end too. 392 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,920 Stop. Stop it, please. Just on a money level. 393 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,200 I cannot allow this. It's so wasteful. Stop. 394 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,800 (CHIMING) 395 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,120 OK. Alright. 396 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,240 (LAUGHS) (CHIMING) 397 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,440 (TYPING) 398 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:30,960 Whoa. 399 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,600 Need any help? 400 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,840 Uh, I'm OK. Kinda on a roll. 401 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,320 - Cameo. - What's up? 402 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,440 Oh. (CHUCKLES) I was, uh- 403 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,080 I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after work. 404 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,960 Gloria, the weather lady, she's kinda hitting me up about tonight. 405 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,600 (SIGHS) Nope. I'm good. 406 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,160 OK. You sure? 407 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,600 - Because I don't have to hang out- - Yeah, have fun tonight. 408 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,480 Maybe we can- I don't know, 409 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,880 get together tomorrow or something, OK? 410 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,600 Yeah. Um, cool. Thanks. 411 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,640 Don't keep her out too late. She has to be at work at 4am. 412 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,320 Alright. 413 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,080 (TYPEWRITER CLACKING, CHIMES) 414 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,200 OK, I haven't seen your bio. 415 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,480 We are definitely not done here. 416 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,360 How do you still have access to my Latch profile? 417 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,800 You forgot to log out. "Well-behaved women seldom make history."? 418 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:20,960 It aligns with my politics 419 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,320 and, you know, invites a certain degree of mischief. 420 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,360 OK, you left story from your childhood blank. 421 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:29,800 What do you got there? 422 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,720 You know, something cute, but, you know, 423 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,200 also shows you as a caretaker. 424 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,440 Potential prey for the Jarsons of the world. 425 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,440 I used to cut my grandmother's toenails. 426 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,560 Is that a thing? 427 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,680 What, she- she didn't like anyone else doing it 428 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:45,520 after her arthritis got bad. I didn't mind. She's family. 429 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,200 She'd kick me in the face if I cut them too short. 430 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,920 RIP Granny Raz. 431 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,840 You sure that's funnier than my ultimate Frisbee team story? 432 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,320 How half of them thought I was left-handed when I wasn't? 433 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,720 Both of them make me nauseous, but for different reasons. 434 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,320 Why don't you keep working on the story and just- 435 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:02,960 Yeah, I'll tinker with this. 436 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,160 - OK. - Yeah. 437 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,560 The grandma story was gross, 438 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,120 but it was also really sweet. 439 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,400 I'd swipe right on that. 440 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,280 Hey, Adam, any hits? 441 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,000 Summer changed my password, and she's sending pictures of our kids 442 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,760 to all of my matches, so. - Adelola? 443 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,120 Oh, yeah, I got plenty of matches, heh. 444 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,680 But none of them are asking me for money, so. 445 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,880 Learning about the catfishing today has been a real eye-opener. 446 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,400 It has given me the tools needed 447 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,000 to extract 1,400 dollars from six old men. 448 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,240 I just gave Adelola 300 dollars. 449 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,160 She doesn't know it was me. 450 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,320 I catfished her. (CHUCKLES) 451 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:46,040 Now, it's an expensive hobby, but I see how it can be addictive. 452 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,960 Hey, Detrick, what about you? 453 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,880 Um, no scammers, but I do have a date later 454 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,680 with the meteorologist from WNWO. - Gloria Tornado? 455 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,480 - That's the one. - Lucky. 456 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,960 Sorry, Chief. I know you wanted a first-person story. 457 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:02,840 It's fine. Detective Arnold said he'd put me in touch 458 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,960 with some of the other victims, so. 459 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,600 They're coming in to be interviewed. 460 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,960 (LAUGHS) Oh, my God. 461 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,960 Oh, wow. 462 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:17,000 They believe that my Jerson could love them? 463 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:21,000 Whatever they paid just to think about it was worth it. 464 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,440 Oh, mamma mia. 465 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,440 What did he tell you, my dear? 466 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,440 He promised. 467 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,960 He was about to bring me Prussian jewels. 468 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,200 And he never showed. 469 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,640 How about you, my good sir? 470 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,280 He was gonna come visit me, 471 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,880 and his ticket was stolen in the Stuttgart airport. 472 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,240 WOMAN: Me too. 473 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,680 Jarson was mugged at the airport on his way to see me. 474 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:53,360 - Twice. - Alright. 475 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,480 Let me ask you another question. 476 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,000 Have any of you seen the TV show Lost? 477 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,400 - Were we supposed to? - No. 478 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,000 And, you know, I'd skip it. 479 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,120 (GROANS) 480 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,240 MARE: Alright. (KNOCKS) 481 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,600 - Hey. - You owe me. 482 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:09,880 (NOTIFICATION CHIMES) 483 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,040 Well. Look who knows what they're doing. 484 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,760 - Me. - Oh, wow. I got a match. 485 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,640 I should have said that in a cooler way. 486 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,000 It's good that you stayed true to yourself in that moment. 487 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,040 First Lieutenant Joanne Schofield is matching with me. 488 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,440 - Is that him? Is he in Germany? - No. 489 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,760 It says she's one town over, 490 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,960 and she's asking if I want to get pizza. 491 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,160 Oh. Oh, cool. 492 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,320 No, it's good. At least you got something out of it. 493 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,840 And hopefully we get a hit from Jarson too, but it works. 494 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,560 - Mission accomplished. - Great. 495 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,120 - Ah. - No? 496 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,160 - Am I not allowed to salute you? - No, I'm not an officer. 497 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:48,560 But salute Joanne. 498 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,680 "Sorry, Joanne. I don't like pizza. 499 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,320 But thank you for your service." 500 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,240 (COMPUTER CHIMES) (whispering) Yes! 501 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,360 (in normal voice) Uh, hey, everyone, check out the news. 502 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,560 Hello, Esmeralda. 503 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:11,360 It's me, Josh Holloway, from "Lost" and "Yellowstone" 504 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:14,160 and that under-seen show, "Colony." Anyway, 505 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,280 your coworker, Nicole, bought this for you on Cameo 506 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,280 so you could hear it from me. 507 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,200 I'm not Jarson. 508 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,960 I'm Josh Holloway. I'm not your boyfriend. 509 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,840 I don't know how our wires got crossed. 510 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,920 I just say what they tell me to say on here. 511 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,640 But we're not in love. 512 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,720 I'm in love with my wife, Yessica. 513 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,480 I'm sorry. Mahalo. 514 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,920 (OSCAR SIGHS) 515 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,000 NICOLE: Hey, I- (SIGHS) 516 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,400 Well, he was in Hawaii. 517 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:46,720 ADELOLA: What? 518 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,160 (SNIFFLING) 519 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,080 Hey, has anyone seen Esmeralda? 520 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,600 I want to give her a last chance to get a quote in. 521 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,120 - You seen her? - She headed for the stairs. 522 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,360 Thanks. 523 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,520 Ay-yi-yi... 524 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,000 I wouldn't do that. 525 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,880 If I want your advice, I'll ask for it. 526 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,600 Merda! Merda! Sei uno stronzo. 527 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,560 Son of a bitch! 528 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:21,000 Sei una merda! Se una testa... (FRUSTRATED GROAN) 529 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,200 Sei pure brutto, sai? 530 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,440 What you watching? 531 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,920 Uh... Jarson's show. 532 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,160 - Hmm. - Lost. 533 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,920 I mean, Josh's. 534 00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:37,840 I'm sorry this happened to you. 535 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,920 You were the closest with 4,200 dollars. 536 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,600 If it helps, I think he's dead for the whole show. 537 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,440 We'll run the story without her. 538 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,200 She's not up to a six-part series. 539 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:01,840 The Sydney Award can wait. 540 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:03,800 It's monthly. 541 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,480 (CRYING) 542 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,440 NICOLE: Hey. Um... (CLEARS THROAT) 543 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:18,040 A couple of us are going to ladies' night at Macaroni Barn. 544 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,360 You wanna come? 545 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,320 Come on. We can use some alpha energy out on the dance floor. 546 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,720 (MOUTHING WORDS) 547 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,320 (RAP MUSIC BLARING) ALL: Yes! 548 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:36,640 NICOLE: Get it, Esmeralda! 549 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,480 Yes, Esmeralda! 550 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,240 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 551 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:50,800 This is my freedom now This is my freedom 552 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,560 Who got the keys- 553 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,640 (UPBEAT THEME MUSIC) 554 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,440 It's so good to meet you, Detrick. 555 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,760 - Nice to meet you. - What a beautiful night out. 556 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:04,080 Yeah, you called it. 557 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,240 A lot of men are intimidated by a woman 558 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,280 who talks about the weather on TV. 559 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:12,080 (SHRILL LAUGHING) 560 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,800 (UPBEAT THEME MUSIC)