1 00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:11,011 He is the king of underground comedy, 2 00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:17,851 Dr. Katt Williams! 3 00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,646 KATT WILLIAMS 4 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,817 THE LAST REPORT 5 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,257 First of all, let me say thank you so much for this. 6 00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:54,012 I appreciate this, my whole motherfucking journey… 7 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,182 My whole journey started 8 00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,726 South Florida, 9 00:00:59,809 --> 00:01:01,644 1995. 10 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:05,356 So the fact that this is where we are… 11 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,859 Full circle, I appreciate this. 12 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,945 This how I know 13 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,573 I'm the greatest comic living. 14 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:18,161 'Cause I got the best audience everywhere. 15 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:22,457 Some people have a couple of stars come. 16 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:27,921 We have all the stars come out. And tonight is no exception. 17 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,255 It's dark in here. 18 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:32,675 Y'all can't even see who in here. 19 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,720 You gonna be shocked. 20 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:39,724 Where's all the white people? Make some noise, white people. 21 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:41,935 What? 22 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,979 In this administration, 23 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:47,273 still hanging with niggas. 24 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,651 We appreciate that, white friends. 25 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:54,030 You knew it was gonna be diverse and equal and inclusive, 26 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,865 you came anyway. 27 00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,078 Some of y'all are going to go to heaven just for that. 28 00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:02,413 When you get up there, it's gonna be on the checklist. 29 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,791 "Did you hang with niggas?" Yup. 30 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:10,755 Where's all the Hispanics in the building? Where is mi familia? 31 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,675 Buenas noches! 32 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,929 I want y'all to know y'all are safe… 33 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,433 in this building tonight. 34 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:26,771 There will be no ice in this building of any kind. 35 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:30,191 Just the ice I'm wearing. That is it. 36 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,987 I told them, "Don't even put ice in the drinks." 37 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,240 I want everybody to feel comfortable. 38 00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:41,995 Last but not least, the core of my very existence, 39 00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:46,291 where's all the Black people in the building? Make some noise. 40 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,926 Battery in the back. 41 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:03,391 And the most important creation in all the known universe. 42 00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:07,353 Where's the ladies in the building? Make some noise. 43 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:13,276 Yeah. 44 00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:16,988 Y'all are the reason Florida is Florida. 45 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:21,868 Florida is known for orange juice and great pussy. 46 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,538 And orange juice gave up a long time ago 47 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,583 'cause the pussy's that good. 48 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,503 Yeah. My new shit, 49 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,297 giving credit, 50 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,341 not making people wait. 51 00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:39,969 If you doing a great job going into 2026, 52 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,472 we gonna announce you doing a great job 53 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:46,392 so that you know it, and you can keep up the good work. 54 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:50,146 'Cause some of y'all doing great, you don't even know you doing great. 55 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,314 You don't even know. 56 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:55,193 Ladies have been kicking ass 57 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:57,737 all across the motherfucking globe, 58 00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,948 and people ain't saying shit. 59 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,409 Women have flipped the script. 60 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:15,171 That's the good pussy dance. 61 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,092 Women have been doing a great job all across the globe. 62 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:22,428 Not some women, all women. 63 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,305 They handle certain shit. 64 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,474 There's no such thing as a woman saying, 65 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:29,560 "I don't have no eyelashes." 66 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:35,108 I don't give a fuck if she's starving to death, she got lashes. 67 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,861 They might not even be the right species. 68 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,990 She got a mountain alpaca and a desert llama together. 69 00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,866 They don't even go together in nature. 70 00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:48,121 Women did that shit. 71 00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:52,875 No group chats, no emails, just one woman helping another woman. 72 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:56,254 Did you know that stinky pussy 73 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,382 is a thing of the past? 74 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,311 You can waft it when it smells nice. 75 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:16,024 Twenty-five years ago, stanky pussy was everywhere. 76 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:20,695 You couldn't walk down the street without smelling tuna fish. 77 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:23,740 Not today. 78 00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,951 Women are fresh. 79 00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,204 No more stanky pussy. 80 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,751 There's a man in here right now 81 00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:38,421 sitting with the last stanky pussy in Florida. 82 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:42,467 He trying to get my attention. I won't look at him. 83 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:56,481 No, I'm just saying, 84 00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,983 a lot of people doing a great job, they don't even know it. 85 00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:02,236 Watch this. 86 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:06,991 Where's everybody 35 and over? Make some noise, 35 and over. 87 00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:13,748 Y'all don't know how special y'all are. 88 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:18,044 100 years from now, they're gonna be writing books about you motherfuckers. 89 00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:21,964 How the fuck did y'all do this shit? 90 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:25,927 Did you know if you're 35 and over, did you know that 91 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:30,348 you look better than anybody who has ever been your age 92 00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:33,226 in the history of humankind? 93 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:34,936 The fuck? 94 00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,064 Y'all look good. 95 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,692 You know you look good. 96 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:44,779 Some of y'all grandmothers at 29, bitch. 97 00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:47,240 You know the fuck you look good. 98 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,951 "Your grandmama still got her baby hair?" 99 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,999 You 35 and over, you have done it. 100 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:59,419 You have already lived one life. 101 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,213 If it was a good life, put it in the books. 102 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:09,011 If it was fucked up, put it behind you and start all over again at 63, bitch. 103 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,973 You can do it. 104 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:14,225 Here's the future. 105 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:18,438 Where's 35 and under? Make some noise, 35 and under. 106 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,898 Yes, we love y'all. 107 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,986 We are counting on y'all. 108 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:29,615 All y'all gotta do is don't fuck up like we just fucked up in front of you. 109 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:30,867 That's it. 110 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,079 Certain simple shit, you don't even have to try. 111 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:40,877 Like, if you under 35, you can't afford to do no drugs at all. 112 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:45,465 Just smoke weed. It's the only thing you can trust. 113 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:50,928 You don't believe me? Easter and 4/20 was on the same day this year. 114 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:54,807 That's Jesus inviting me personally. 115 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,605 Weed is the only thing you can trust. 116 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:03,608 Back in the day, they used to say drugs was fun and dangerous. 117 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:09,030 Now they done took the fun the fuck out. It's just "and dangerous." 118 00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:10,823 Can't do meth or molly. 119 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,284 It make your gums long and your teeth short. 120 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,745 What the fuck you gonna do with that? 121 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,581 You can't even take selfies, bitch. 122 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,418 Can't do the fentanyl, you'll die. 123 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,545 Can't drink the lean. 124 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,340 It eat up your liver and your spleen 125 00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:29,342 and your esophagus. 126 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:33,179 Look at my white friends. "That is not your esophagus, Katt." 127 00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:34,972 "You were doing so good." 128 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,727 Just saying they know these drugs is too strong. 129 00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,604 They just too strong. 130 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:47,109 They got a rapper that's 1000 pounds. He addicted to lean. 131 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,370 He can't put down the cup, or the plate. 132 00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,664 Or the spoon, or the fork. 133 00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:01,958 They too strong. 134 00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,626 Speaking of too strong, 135 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:06,212 look at that stool. 136 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:10,967 The stool is like, "You got to be shitting me." 137 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,720 "You gonna do the whole song on me, nigga?" 138 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:19,141 Take it down before he make me pay for his weight-loss treatments. 139 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:23,938 Just making a point. 140 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,819 This next question I'm gonna ask y'all 141 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:34,156 is the most important question in the whole universe. 142 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:39,287 I've been broke and I've been rich. This is the only thing that matters. 143 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:42,957 Make some noise if you are relatively healthy right now. 144 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,251 If you got your health, 145 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,462 if you got a God, you should thank him. 146 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,881 That's all that matters, 147 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,050 is your motherfucking health. 148 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,094 I don't give a fuck you got a billion dollars. 149 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:58,514 If you are throwing up and shitting at the same time, 150 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,600 you are broke, bitch. 151 00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:03,644 Yeah. 152 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,689 Your health is what motherfucking matters. 153 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:10,776 And it don't take nothing for that motherfucker to leave. 154 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,029 I thought I was stronger than a motherfucker. 155 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:17,033 I found out I'm not even a little bit strong. 156 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,328 I got hit by two 157 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:22,455 kidney stones. 158 00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,167 You know about a kidney stone? 159 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:28,711 That motherfucker is a crippler. 160 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,505 I didn't know what the fuck happened to me. 161 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,176 I was asleep and woke up to two kidney stones. 162 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,678 Both my legs shut off. 163 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:41,682 I was just at the end of the bed, shaped like a pretzel, 164 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:44,894 saying, "Not in my pajamas, Jesus!" 165 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:51,108 I didn't know what to tell the doctor. I think I peed two firecrackers. 166 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,863 Take care of your motherfucking health. 167 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,615 Speaking of health, 168 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:01,702 whoever been naming these new medications, 169 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,372 you are kicking ass. 170 00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:09,251 Keep up the good work. It's good for white people and niggas. 171 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:13,214 All of these new medications sound like some shit you want to take. 172 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,927 My commercial, I heard Rinvokin. 173 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,763 I don't even know what that cures, bitch, 174 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:22,973 but I don't mind ordering that at Walgreens. 175 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,184 "Where's my Rinvokin?" 176 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:30,189 Sound like something you named your penis. "You ready for the Rinvokin?" 177 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,067 Hit it with the "Horyuken." 178 00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:39,281 All the names is cool. The next one was Skyrizi. 179 00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:42,201 Bitch, that's fly as shit. 180 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:46,080 That was my nickname in middle school, "Sky Rizzy." 181 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,917 'Cause I would do a skyhook and look at girls. 182 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,839 The best one is Tremfya. 183 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:59,802 That was my nickname for hot pussy. I love trim fire. 184 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,179 She got that trim fire! 185 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,809 But even they drugs is too strong. 186 00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:13,607 I told y'all three years ago, Ozempic had Hollywood in a choke hold. 187 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:17,278 I ain't lie. 188 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:22,116 Y'all seen Oprah? She got the body of a 12-year-old boy. 189 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:26,287 She ain't never even been a 12-year-old boy. 190 00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:28,748 That shit is strong. 191 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,668 Gayle look like she ain't had a bowel movement 192 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,463 since she came back from space. 193 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:38,257 Her and the wig look confused. 194 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:48,726 Lil Rel say he didn't even take Ozempic, he just heard about it. 195 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,646 He went down to his baby weight. 196 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:56,400 He's what? Nine pounds, six ounces? 197 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,446 Nigga's built like a cricket now. 198 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:04,784 How did you lose weight in your head, knees… 199 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,870 shoulders, and toes? 200 00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,663 Shoulders and toes. 201 00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:16,086 Five years ago, we talked about the side effect 202 00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:19,215 being worse than the shit they were curing. 203 00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,635 This month, I heard this. 204 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,679 The medication for eczema 205 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:28,098 said the side effect 206 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:31,811 is severe skin reactions. 207 00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:37,817 "Bitch, that's what the fuck I came to you for!" 208 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:41,362 "You took away my eczema and gave me shingles?" 209 00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,906 "Bitch, I am still itching!" 210 00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,872 It's gonna get worse. 211 00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:56,794 I'm gonna say everything I'm not supposed to say tonight. 212 00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:59,630 Just so you know. 213 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,842 The world has changed. 214 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:07,221 The world has motherfucking changed. Used to be… 215 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:11,267 Used to be you told a story, people would be like, "Is that true?" 216 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,519 Now they don't give a fuck if it's true. 217 00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:17,398 If it's, "Is it derogatory?" 218 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:21,819 Yes, bitch, it probably is derogatory. 219 00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:23,529 But it's true, though. 220 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:27,157 I just had to tell my people what the fuck is really going on. 221 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:31,829 And we are living in a special time. I mean a special fucking time. 222 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:35,249 Like, you can really do anything right about now. 223 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:38,460 I don't give a fuck what's wrong with you. You can fucking make it. 224 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:41,297 Like, even if you cross-eyed, 225 00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:43,382 you can make it. 226 00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:47,094 Did you understand that even if you cross-eyed? 227 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,308 Take that down before I get a knock on my door. 228 00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,357 That man is the director 229 00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:02,818 of the FBI. 230 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,655 He can do that, you can do anything. 231 00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:12,411 Cross-eyed and the director of the FBI? 232 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,664 You can't even be an eyewitness. 233 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,926 He working on everybody's case? 234 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,471 He can work on my case. I'll be in front of the judge. 235 00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:33,140 "Your Honor, he looks distracted." 236 00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:39,730 I was talking about health. 237 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,067 The most important health 238 00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:45,402 is your motherfucking mental health. 239 00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:50,157 How the fuck is you doing up here? Make some noise if you doing good up here. 240 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,117 That's what the fuck matters. 241 00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:55,829 You got to protect your motherfucking mental health. 242 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,541 That shit is fragile. 243 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,543 Once it go, it's gone. 244 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,213 And they don't give a fuck who you are. 245 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,674 Once it go, it's gone. 246 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,969 You need your fucking mental health, 247 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:13,263 and I found out some shit they did not tell us. 248 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:18,060 And I can't wait to tell y'all, so y'all can treat yourself better. 249 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:22,856 Some of y'all be way too mean to yourself in the fucking brain. 250 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:27,403 You say some really fucked-up things to yourself. 251 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,863 This is what they found out. 252 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:34,451 They found out your brain don't know when you bullshitting. 253 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,204 Let me say it again. 254 00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:41,375 Your brain don't know when you bullshitting. 255 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:44,670 So if you tell your brain, "I'm sick," 256 00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:47,506 your brain don't do no research at all. 257 00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:50,342 It just say, "I guess we sick." 258 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:56,098 You got to be nicer to your motherfucking self. 259 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:58,559 'Cause this shit go like that. 260 00:16:58,642 --> 00:17:00,853 And I found out when it come to mental health, 261 00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:04,690 I can't speak on nobody's mental health but my own. 262 00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:07,901 'Cause every time I done spoke on somebody else's mental health, 263 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:11,613 I've been wrong, wrong, wrong. 264 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:15,743 I was the first person in the streets screaming, 265 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:20,497 "Free Britney Spears! Free Britney Spears!" 266 00:17:21,081 --> 00:17:23,208 "Free Britney Spears!" 267 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:27,588 Then they freed Britney and scared all of us. 268 00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:33,093 That baby need a conservatorship. Is she okay? 269 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,138 It could happen to anybody. 270 00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:39,975 I fucked around and said Wendy Williams was Bigfoot. 271 00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:44,938 And they believed me and left that bitch in the woods for real. 272 00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:47,316 Go get her! 273 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,443 She out there, "How you doing?" 274 00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:52,237 She is talking to a squirrel. 275 00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,325 Mental health. 276 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,410 Don't play with it. 277 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:01,246 It even got Lil Nas X. 278 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:04,583 He went down the wrong old town road. 279 00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:09,630 And he had all the distress signals for a Black man. 280 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,466 He had on a cowboy hat, 281 00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:14,468 cowboy boots, 282 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,553 white underwear. 283 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,349 Look at my white friends. "So what?" 284 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:24,436 I'll tell you a Negro secret. 285 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:30,109 A nigga ain't wore tighty-whities since slavery, bitch. 286 00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:32,986 That is a cry for help! 287 00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,864 We don't even know where you buy those. 288 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,536 He got them pulled all high showing his whole vagina. 289 00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:45,207 Stop it. Don't do that. 290 00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:47,292 Don't encourage me. 291 00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,339 I'm just saying don't forget to love your motherfucking self. 292 00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:57,928 Don't forget that. Be nicer to your motherfucking self. 293 00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:01,974 That's why I'm always so confident in all situations. 294 00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:05,561 'Cause if I see a mirror, I lie to the mirror. 295 00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:08,730 Every time I see me I go, 296 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:12,067 "Nigga, did you get a growth spurt today?" 297 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:20,117 "You looking 5'11" today." 298 00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,456 It's important what go on in your brain. 299 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,459 And I just hope for 19 of you… 300 00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,339 that you are just one change away 301 00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:37,801 from your shit shifting motherfucking gears. 302 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,469 And that's how quick it can happen. 303 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:43,932 Just one last change, bam, you shift gears. 304 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:47,769 Yeah. And I don't give a fuck what the change is. Just do it. 305 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,855 You might have to change your name. 306 00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:55,736 You've been Shaquita for 33 years, bitch. Shit is not working for you. 307 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,531 Go back to the drawing board. Start at the A's. 308 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:02,117 You could be Amber, Amy, Abigail. 309 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:08,081 Sometimes it's just a name. I'm gonna give you an example. 310 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:14,171 We got people from all different races, colors, and creeds in the building. 311 00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:17,424 Make some noise if you know all the seasonings. 312 00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:20,135 That means you know all the herbs and spices 313 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:25,098 from oregano and thyme, all the way to rosemary and saffron. 314 00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:28,268 Make some noise if you know all the… 315 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:33,440 Look at my white friends. "We know them." 316 00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:36,902 Okay. 317 00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:39,279 Since we got everybody in here. 318 00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:43,951 Has anybody ever seen paprika growing in the wild? 319 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:47,454 You ever seen wild paprika? 320 00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,083 Nobody? 321 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,794 'Cause there ain't no paprika. 322 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:57,214 Look at the Black people. "What?" 323 00:20:57,297 --> 00:21:01,843 "Well, what the fuck we been putting on deviled eggs then, nigga?" 324 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,221 "You can't just say this shit." 325 00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,058 There is no paprika. 326 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:13,146 Ain't no paprika plant, no paprika bush, no paprika tree. 327 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:19,361 Paprika is dried-up, ground-up bell peppers. 328 00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:25,158 Look at the white people. "I don't even like bell peppers." 329 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:26,660 Yes, you do. 330 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,204 They just had to change the name. 331 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:33,583 Walked in bell peppers, walked out Paprika Jenkins. 332 00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:38,380 Couldn't keep it on the shelf. 333 00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:40,424 She sounds exotic. 334 00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:44,177 Now some of y'all may know 335 00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:46,972 I do not travel the globe 336 00:21:47,055 --> 00:21:49,891 talking about no motherfucking seasonings. 337 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,977 In my spare time, 338 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:55,856 I infiltrate the Illuminati, 339 00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:59,234 find out what the fuck they got going on, 340 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:01,028 get the information, 341 00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:03,280 run back to y'all, 342 00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,782 tell y'all everything I know. 343 00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:08,452 That's my motherfucking job. 344 00:22:09,911 --> 00:22:11,204 And… 345 00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:13,749 y'all treat me wonderfully. 346 00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,543 But I don't know 347 00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:20,630 how many more times I'm going to be able to… 348 00:22:22,924 --> 00:22:24,760 sneak in there. 349 00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:30,098 Thanks to Shannon Sharpe and 90 million views, 350 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:33,769 I can't sneak very often. 351 00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:39,066 So while I was in there this last time, 352 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:45,489 knowing that my last report might be my last report, 353 00:22:46,948 --> 00:22:50,869 I went in there and I got information for everybody. 354 00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:53,997 Information, I got 355 00:22:54,581 --> 00:22:55,999 for everybody. 356 00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:57,959 Look at my white friends. 357 00:22:58,835 --> 00:23:00,295 "Us too?" 358 00:23:01,296 --> 00:23:03,673 That's right, white secrets. 359 00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:09,137 Okay, so because of the climate and the temperature of… 360 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,808 Goddamn it, shoelaces. 361 00:23:14,142 --> 00:23:16,144 That's the only thing about being short. 362 00:23:18,355 --> 00:23:21,316 They made these shoelaces for a seven-foot nigga. 363 00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:25,987 All right. 364 00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:29,032 Back to my Illuminati information. 365 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:33,912 All right, I'm gonna do it quick and I'm gonna be moving around 366 00:23:34,454 --> 00:23:35,956 for my own safety. 367 00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:40,585 White friends, here come y'alls first. 368 00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:43,672 For 50 years, y'all been wondering 369 00:23:44,172 --> 00:23:46,633 what the fuck happened to JFK. 370 00:23:47,467 --> 00:23:51,388 I went in there and watched the VCR tape myself. 371 00:23:52,514 --> 00:23:55,517 I can't tell you what I saw, white friends, 372 00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:58,603 but I'll show you the part you missed. 373 00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:12,659 Moving right along. 374 00:24:13,577 --> 00:24:14,953 Okay. 375 00:24:17,330 --> 00:24:19,916 Every time I go in there, I be thinking 376 00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:23,378 they hate some of us more than others. 377 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:27,424 But when I find out the information, I find out they hate all of us. 378 00:24:27,507 --> 00:24:29,342 They just lie to all of us. 379 00:24:29,926 --> 00:24:33,763 They don't see no difference. Just lie to all of us. 380 00:24:33,847 --> 00:24:36,266 Here's a perfect example. 381 00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:40,187 Did you know that for 35 years 382 00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:42,564 they've been telling us we are at war 383 00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:44,441 with cholesterol? 384 00:24:44,941 --> 00:24:48,487 That cholesterol is the silent killer? 385 00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:52,699 All our doctors told us our cholesterol was too motherfucking high, 386 00:24:52,782 --> 00:24:55,243 and we needed to get it down low. 387 00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:58,788 Guess what they found out and didn't tell us? 388 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:00,540 Did you know… 389 00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:10,008 Did you know your brain is 100% cholesterol? 390 00:25:11,259 --> 00:25:14,971 Your whole brain is cholesterol, bitch. 391 00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:17,933 So congratulations. 392 00:25:18,975 --> 00:25:22,062 Some of y'all cholesterol lower than a bitch. 393 00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:24,981 You did it. 394 00:25:25,732 --> 00:25:28,318 They don't be giving a fuck. They just be making money. 395 00:25:29,236 --> 00:25:32,113 They put motherfucking fluoride in our water. 396 00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:34,324 And then I found out… 397 00:25:34,407 --> 00:25:36,743 You know it was never not one study 398 00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:41,623 that ever said that fluoride was good for our teeth and our motherfucking bones 399 00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:44,334 because it's a toxic fucking chemical 400 00:25:44,417 --> 00:25:48,672 and could never be good for teeth or fucking bones? 401 00:25:49,631 --> 00:25:50,840 Bitch! 402 00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:55,554 But the truth is, 403 00:25:56,513 --> 00:25:59,099 'cause of the shit I'm likely to say, 404 00:26:00,642 --> 00:26:03,103 I done really stepped in it this time. 405 00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:07,148 I can tell 'cause everybody turned against me. 406 00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:10,610 Them streets is dangerous for me. 407 00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:14,739 So many motherfuckers came at me, I had to check myself 408 00:26:14,823 --> 00:26:17,784 and see what the fuck I had done. 409 00:26:17,867 --> 00:26:19,869 I went back and watched shit for myself. 410 00:26:19,953 --> 00:26:22,539 I went and saw the Shannon Sharpe interview. 411 00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:25,166 I was flabbergasted. 412 00:26:27,168 --> 00:26:29,337 "This nigga's vicious." 413 00:26:30,088 --> 00:26:32,507 "He didn't have to say all that." 414 00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:36,595 All they want me to do is shut the fuck up. 415 00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:38,471 That's it. 416 00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:41,182 But I was just mistaken. 417 00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:44,811 I thought they was just gonna laugh it off. 418 00:26:44,894 --> 00:26:46,313 They did not… 419 00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:50,025 laugh it off. 420 00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:52,277 I can't even go to SeaWorld 421 00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,863 'cause I said one guy looked like a walrus. 422 00:26:56,031 --> 00:26:58,325 Now they won't even let me in there. 423 00:26:59,242 --> 00:27:02,495 I said another guy couldn't read. I didn't have to say that. 424 00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:05,290 I could have said he don't read well. 425 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,461 I had on a "fuck you" shirt. He didn't acknowledge it. 426 00:27:09,544 --> 00:27:11,504 I assumed he couldn't read. 427 00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:15,967 I was only talking about a couple people. 428 00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,385 But I should have shut the fuck up 429 00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:20,555 'cause I didn't know how many people it applied to. 430 00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:23,350 I was talking about a couple men in dresses. 431 00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:28,521 Now every man that ever wore a dress can't stand my guts. 432 00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:29,814 Soon as they see me coming, 433 00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:32,859 they just grab their purse and walk the other… 434 00:27:38,615 --> 00:27:40,492 This shit cost me. 435 00:27:41,326 --> 00:27:43,370 Everybody turned against me. 436 00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:45,955 Even 50 Cent turned against me. 437 00:27:46,706 --> 00:27:48,708 You don't want him as an enemy. 438 00:27:49,876 --> 00:27:51,920 But I couldn't be shook 439 00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:56,883 'cause I remembered I never done nothing to him in my life. 440 00:27:56,966 --> 00:27:59,803 Then I got offended. 441 00:27:59,886 --> 00:28:02,347 Wait a minute, motherfucker. 442 00:28:03,473 --> 00:28:05,433 You got a head like a square. 443 00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:07,727 You would cross me? 444 00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:13,775 Only two square-headed men have made it in Hollywood. You and Herman Munster. 445 00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:16,778 Nigga, I will not be bullied. 446 00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:25,704 But they came after your boy. 447 00:28:27,956 --> 00:28:30,208 I thought they misunderstood my job. 448 00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:34,754 My job is see something, say something. That's my motherfucking job. 449 00:28:36,256 --> 00:28:39,092 They always taking my shit out of context. 450 00:28:39,175 --> 00:28:41,386 A lot of the times I'd be concerned. 451 00:28:42,262 --> 00:28:46,182 They act like I was talking shit about a comedy legend of ours. 452 00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:49,811 I wasn't talking shit. I was fucking concerned. 453 00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:53,064 The man said he did not have a stroke. 454 00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:55,358 And then that should have been the end of it. 455 00:28:55,942 --> 00:28:59,154 And instead, they made this nigga do 32 interviews. 456 00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:04,576 In every interview, he is showing every symptom of a stroke. 457 00:29:05,535 --> 00:29:07,829 Ain't nobody saying shit. 458 00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:09,831 They just, "Come on out!" 459 00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:25,722 And I'm at the house, like, "This is wrong!" 460 00:29:25,805 --> 00:29:29,642 The fuck is we talking about, "Did he have a stroke?" "Did he"? 461 00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:35,231 Look like he had several strokes. Upstroke, downstroke, backstroke. 462 00:29:35,315 --> 00:29:37,942 Everything but a stroke of luck. 463 00:29:40,945 --> 00:29:42,781 I was concerned. 464 00:29:43,281 --> 00:29:46,910 I'm not allowed to say shit even if I see shit. 465 00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:50,497 'Cause Hollywood is too motherfucking strong. 466 00:29:51,372 --> 00:29:53,374 They want you to make it, you gonna make it. 467 00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:55,877 They don't give a fuck. 468 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:58,129 Even if you was allegedly 469 00:29:58,213 --> 00:30:00,215 riddled with herpes, 470 00:30:01,049 --> 00:30:04,552 they'll still have you in Vegas feeding bitches fruit and shit, just… 471 00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:17,315 I done said too much. I did. 472 00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:21,194 Ain't nobody finna say shit? 473 00:30:21,277 --> 00:30:25,156 All our women coming back from Vegas with two bumps on their lip, 474 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:26,407 don't wanna fuck. 475 00:30:28,076 --> 00:30:29,410 Fuck it! 476 00:30:33,957 --> 00:30:36,543 Fellas, your woman does not love fruit like that. 477 00:30:37,877 --> 00:30:39,754 You don't believe me, when y'all get back home 478 00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:42,131 just pop up from behind the couch, just… 479 00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:49,973 "Stop playing with the fruit, Gerald. That's the kids' lunch fruit." 480 00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:55,019 But I just gotta shut the fuck up. 481 00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:57,897 'Cause Hollywood is too strong. 482 00:30:58,731 --> 00:31:00,984 They play by their own rules. 483 00:31:01,901 --> 00:31:04,028 They don't play by my rules. 484 00:31:05,154 --> 00:31:08,032 P. Diddy just got four years 485 00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:11,119 for taking 37 asses. 486 00:31:12,829 --> 00:31:14,664 Let me do the math. 487 00:31:16,082 --> 00:31:18,167 Took 37 asses! 488 00:31:19,252 --> 00:31:20,503 Four years. 489 00:31:21,504 --> 00:31:25,049 Meanwhile, they tried to give me the same four years for two blunts 490 00:31:25,133 --> 00:31:29,637 I had no intention of smoking in the first place. 491 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:32,098 They were purely ornamental. 492 00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:35,101 Same four years. 493 00:31:35,935 --> 00:31:38,229 'Cause they play by different rules. 494 00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:43,484 That man was facing ass-trafficking charges. 495 00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:47,989 For trafficking ass. 496 00:31:49,949 --> 00:31:52,201 Why they only gave him four years? 497 00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:55,747 Because liking dick 498 00:31:55,830 --> 00:31:59,626 and being a devil worshiper ain't against the law. 499 00:32:00,543 --> 00:32:03,171 They heard prostitution 500 00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:06,466 and thought there was some vaginas 501 00:32:06,966 --> 00:32:09,010 that needed to be saved. 502 00:32:10,637 --> 00:32:15,391 The judge said, "Bring out the nine prostitutes." 503 00:32:16,017 --> 00:32:19,187 And nine big-dick niggas walked out. 504 00:32:20,563 --> 00:32:21,814 Judge said, 505 00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:25,818 "Order. He's fine. Give him four years." 506 00:32:26,653 --> 00:32:29,530 "It's not a crime. He just likes penis." 507 00:32:33,451 --> 00:32:35,828 He liked penis so much, 508 00:32:35,912 --> 00:32:39,457 they sent him to the place with the most penis. 509 00:32:43,127 --> 00:32:46,214 Right now, he is happily paying for his crime. 510 00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:54,639 I'm not gonna be scared for four years. 511 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,061 P. Diddy got his lawyers lying. 512 00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:03,439 "He's going to be a changed man when he come out." 513 00:33:03,523 --> 00:33:04,816 Is he? 514 00:33:05,566 --> 00:33:09,821 "Yes, he started Good Boy Records and everything." 515 00:33:09,904 --> 00:33:13,449 He's not saying, "Take that." He's saying, "Give back, give back." 516 00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:17,829 That's the last thing I'm gonna to say. 517 00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:22,583 I ain't talking about shit else. 518 00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:25,211 Just know sometimes 519 00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:28,089 my heart be in the motherfucking right place 520 00:33:28,673 --> 00:33:30,341 and I just get tricked. 521 00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:33,011 Sometimes, I believe shit that ain't right. 522 00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:37,265 Like I thought Mike Tyson was gonna whoop the shit 523 00:33:37,348 --> 00:33:38,766 out that young white gentleman. 524 00:33:38,850 --> 00:33:41,185 I believed that shit. 525 00:33:41,269 --> 00:33:45,690 I had a party, invited my ancestors over and everything. 526 00:33:46,524 --> 00:33:50,653 We had chips and dip and unnecessary regalia. 527 00:33:50,737 --> 00:33:54,532 I just want to see Mike Tyson, the beast, the monster, 528 00:33:54,615 --> 00:33:56,492 in the motherfucking ring again. 529 00:33:58,369 --> 00:34:00,288 I knew early in the evening 530 00:34:00,997 --> 00:34:02,582 something was wrong. 531 00:34:03,791 --> 00:34:07,128 I had to put my blunt out for only the fourth time 532 00:34:07,795 --> 00:34:10,339 without the police's presence. 533 00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:13,801 I looked up, Mike had his whole ass out. 534 00:34:15,261 --> 00:34:17,263 The fuck! 535 00:34:17,847 --> 00:34:21,059 I said pay-per-view, not OnlyFans, bitch. 536 00:34:21,684 --> 00:34:24,562 You don't have my consent to show me this. 537 00:34:29,609 --> 00:34:31,819 The fight hadn't even started. 538 00:34:32,987 --> 00:34:35,239 I had put my money on this nigga. 539 00:34:37,533 --> 00:34:40,411 I had to rationalize for him. I said some stupid shit. 540 00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:43,498 I said, "I know he ain't finna lose 541 00:34:44,248 --> 00:34:46,042 with his ass out." 542 00:34:47,376 --> 00:34:49,003 Boy, was I wrong. 543 00:34:50,004 --> 00:34:52,340 They called Mike Tyson out. 544 00:34:52,882 --> 00:34:57,929 Mike Tyson came to the ring like Joe Biden on his way to a helicopter. 545 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,651 I said, "Who the fuck is that?!" 546 00:35:11,734 --> 00:35:15,363 They was like, "It's Mike Tyson!" "No, the fuck it ain't!" 547 00:35:18,574 --> 00:35:20,743 Looked like he was fighting gravity. 548 00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:27,416 But that's the new thing about the world we live in. 549 00:35:27,917 --> 00:35:29,919 You can take the pressure off yourself. 550 00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:34,006 Just do the best job you can possibly do. 551 00:35:34,090 --> 00:35:36,759 'Cause you either gonna win spectacular, 552 00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:39,053 or you gonna lose spectacular. 553 00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:42,765 Your job is just make sure it's spectacular. 554 00:35:43,432 --> 00:35:46,144 And you can take a spectacular L. 555 00:35:46,727 --> 00:35:48,980 Kamala Harris showed us that shit. 556 00:35:50,064 --> 00:35:52,859 She took her L like a champ. 557 00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:55,444 We ain't never seen no shit like that. 558 00:35:56,529 --> 00:35:59,615 They tried to act like nobody voted for Kamala. 559 00:35:59,699 --> 00:36:03,327 They put up the map. The whole map was red. 560 00:36:03,911 --> 00:36:06,539 Even the people that voted for her was red. 561 00:36:07,415 --> 00:36:10,459 They showed her house. It was 50-50. 562 00:36:10,543 --> 00:36:13,045 It ain't but two of y'all in there. 563 00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:17,675 They tried to blame everybody. They blamed Black men. 564 00:36:17,758 --> 00:36:19,510 It was not our fault. 565 00:36:19,594 --> 00:36:21,804 Blame anybody else. 566 00:36:21,888 --> 00:36:25,266 No Indians voted for her at all. 567 00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:27,935 Even women that wanted an abortion said, 568 00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:30,563 "I guess I'll just have to figure something out." 569 00:36:32,523 --> 00:36:36,444 They said she didn't have enough electoral college votes to graduate. 570 00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:43,201 At one point in the election, Katt Williams had more votes. 571 00:36:48,372 --> 00:36:50,583 That's where we were as a country. 572 00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:52,919 Everybody asking the same question. 573 00:36:53,002 --> 00:36:54,128 "Is she Black?" 574 00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:57,340 "Is she Black?" "Is she Black?" 575 00:36:57,423 --> 00:37:01,928 At the end, she showed you exactly what she was. 576 00:37:02,511 --> 00:37:05,264 It was time for her concession speech. 577 00:37:05,848 --> 00:37:07,934 She ain't even show up. 578 00:37:09,435 --> 00:37:13,022 That's a nigga right there. We should have never doubted it. 579 00:37:13,105 --> 00:37:16,108 She just rolled by with her pinky finger in the air, just… 580 00:37:27,703 --> 00:37:30,289 But that's the best part about America. 581 00:37:30,831 --> 00:37:33,584 In America, it don't matter who you choose, 582 00:37:34,085 --> 00:37:38,464 'cause we all gonna pay the price together. 583 00:37:39,340 --> 00:37:41,592 That's what make it gambling. 584 00:37:41,676 --> 00:37:45,429 We gonna pay the price together. No matter what it is. 585 00:37:45,513 --> 00:37:48,724 You don't want this one? Fine. 586 00:37:48,808 --> 00:37:50,726 Well, who's up next? 587 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:52,895 That's right. 588 00:37:52,979 --> 00:37:55,731 Don't be complaining about who's up next. 589 00:37:55,815 --> 00:37:59,735 Just 'cause it happened to be Donald J. Darth Vader Trump. 590 00:38:04,073 --> 00:38:06,325 Yeah, I don't give a fuck what you think about him. 591 00:38:06,409 --> 00:38:09,370 That motherfucker is exciting! 592 00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:16,585 That motherfucking Trump, you do not know what he finna do tomorrow. 593 00:38:16,669 --> 00:38:18,546 No, the fuck you don't. 594 00:38:18,629 --> 00:38:21,382 All you know is he gonna do something. 595 00:38:23,259 --> 00:38:25,553 He's been president before. 596 00:38:25,636 --> 00:38:28,681 This time he was not bullshitting. 597 00:38:28,764 --> 00:38:33,477 He been in office 200 days. He done done 200 things. 598 00:38:36,856 --> 00:38:40,067 Good things, bad things. Who gives a fuck? 599 00:38:40,568 --> 00:38:42,111 Things. 600 00:38:42,695 --> 00:38:47,283 He do his shit today and figure out what the fuck he just did 601 00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:48,993 tomorrow. 602 00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:51,162 Yeah. 603 00:38:52,496 --> 00:38:55,249 He found out all you got to do is think about it, 604 00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:57,376 research it, make it happen. 605 00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:00,838 In this term, he said, "Get research the fuck out of here." 606 00:39:00,921 --> 00:39:03,841 "We will not be needing your services." 607 00:39:05,551 --> 00:39:06,927 He don't give a fuck. 608 00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:10,348 If it makes sense to him, it makes sense. 609 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:14,852 First thing he did is come in and fired all the wrong people. 610 00:39:16,228 --> 00:39:23,235 Fired a thousand people at the Nuclear Security Administration. 611 00:39:23,778 --> 00:39:26,989 The next day, he said, "Well, what did they do?" 612 00:39:28,574 --> 00:39:31,160 "They took care of the bombs, Mr. President." 613 00:39:31,243 --> 00:39:33,496 "Well, get them the fuck back in here!" 614 00:39:33,579 --> 00:39:38,542 "You know I didn't mean them. I meant TSA, the one with the shoes." 615 00:39:42,129 --> 00:39:43,839 Trump don't give a fuck. 616 00:39:43,923 --> 00:39:46,592 He do it today, figure it out tomorrow. 617 00:39:47,593 --> 00:39:50,846 He fired thousands of people at the FAA. 618 00:39:51,722 --> 00:39:56,977 And then 14 planes landed upside down in 14 days. 619 00:39:57,061 --> 00:40:00,106 Y'all didn't say shit. "Sometimes they land like that." 620 00:40:00,189 --> 00:40:01,982 "No, they don't!" 621 00:40:06,445 --> 00:40:10,199 If it makes sense to him, it makes sense. 622 00:40:10,282 --> 00:40:12,827 He don't think like everybody else. 623 00:40:12,910 --> 00:40:16,747 They told him only 28% 624 00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:20,084 of our eighth graders can read. 625 00:40:21,544 --> 00:40:23,170 He said, 626 00:40:23,671 --> 00:40:26,048 "Who gave the test?" 627 00:40:32,471 --> 00:40:34,140 "The Department of Education." 628 00:40:34,223 --> 00:40:37,268 "Well, get them the fuck out of here!" 629 00:40:37,351 --> 00:40:39,395 "Take them books with them." 630 00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:43,858 How the fuck we gonna fail a test we don't take, bitch? 631 00:40:49,029 --> 00:40:51,157 Ain't nobody funnier than this guy. 632 00:40:52,366 --> 00:40:54,702 It might look like he don't know what he doing. 633 00:40:55,202 --> 00:40:57,288 He be knowing what the fuck he doing. 634 00:40:57,788 --> 00:41:02,585 He got us in five wars at one time. 635 00:41:02,668 --> 00:41:07,381 We all had five wars. One time. 636 00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:09,550 Here's the brilliant part. 637 00:41:10,134 --> 00:41:14,680 None of the nations that we are at war with, 638 00:41:14,763 --> 00:41:16,348 none of them 639 00:41:16,432 --> 00:41:17,808 got an army. 640 00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:24,023 He's just over there bullying. "Shut the fuck up." 641 00:41:24,106 --> 00:41:25,524 "Y'all ain't got no guns here." 642 00:41:25,608 --> 00:41:28,277 "Don't give a fuck about your maple syrup, Canada." 643 00:41:34,116 --> 00:41:35,868 If you're a comedian, 644 00:41:35,951 --> 00:41:38,787 you ain't never seen nobody funnier than this. 645 00:41:39,872 --> 00:41:43,501 And he don't give a fuck if he already said one thing. 646 00:41:43,584 --> 00:41:45,628 He don't mind changing it, 647 00:41:46,629 --> 00:41:48,631 when he needs to change it. 648 00:41:49,298 --> 00:41:52,051 Trump said, "I will absolutely 649 00:41:52,134 --> 00:41:54,678 show you the Epstein files." 650 00:41:55,387 --> 00:42:00,100 Then they showed him the files. He said, "Bitch, is that my name?" 651 00:42:00,684 --> 00:42:02,895 "You got me fucked up. You better…" 652 00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:14,865 Ever since… 653 00:42:14,949 --> 00:42:18,160 Ever since "Grab her by the pussy," 654 00:42:19,870 --> 00:42:23,374 I thought he could never say anything else 655 00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,335 make me put my blunt out. 656 00:42:29,213 --> 00:42:30,673 This month, 657 00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:32,675 allegedly, 658 00:42:33,842 --> 00:42:35,469 he said 659 00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:38,389 he spoke with the president 660 00:42:38,472 --> 00:42:40,474 of Puerto Rico 661 00:42:41,225 --> 00:42:44,019 and the Virgin Islands. 662 00:42:44,103 --> 00:42:46,772 My whole brain scrambled. 663 00:42:56,865 --> 00:42:59,368 "Sir, you are the president 664 00:43:00,035 --> 00:43:02,121 of Puerto Rico 665 00:43:02,871 --> 00:43:05,499 and the Virgin Islands." 666 00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:09,211 So the question is, 667 00:43:09,295 --> 00:43:12,256 who the fuck was you talking to? 668 00:43:13,382 --> 00:43:17,428 JD Vance was in a corner. "This is Puerto Rico, sir." 669 00:43:22,683 --> 00:43:24,518 Trump is just funny. 670 00:43:25,227 --> 00:43:29,273 He didn't even know who Bad Bunny was. 671 00:43:30,774 --> 00:43:33,986 He said, "I don't think a Hispanic rabbit 672 00:43:35,696 --> 00:43:37,781 should be at the Super Bowl." 673 00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:50,252 From the outside looking in, 674 00:43:51,545 --> 00:43:57,343 it would seem like this country should be at its most divided. 675 00:43:57,426 --> 00:43:59,219 But I promise you, 676 00:43:59,928 --> 00:44:03,307 the reason this is the greatest country in the world 677 00:44:03,390 --> 00:44:07,061 is because we are the United States of America, 678 00:44:07,144 --> 00:44:12,107 heavy on the "united," regardless of what we believe. 679 00:44:14,818 --> 00:44:19,114 And the whole thing is, as a family of different colors, 680 00:44:20,282 --> 00:44:22,493 we gonna need each other coming up. 681 00:44:23,077 --> 00:44:25,204 They're not telling you that shit. 682 00:44:25,704 --> 00:44:28,666 You gonna have to depend on somebody 683 00:44:28,749 --> 00:44:30,542 that don't look like you. 684 00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:32,503 Yeah. 685 00:44:32,586 --> 00:44:36,548 See, we are scheduled to starve to death, 686 00:44:37,716 --> 00:44:39,927 unless we work together. 687 00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:43,263 For the first time in 400 years, 688 00:44:43,347 --> 00:44:47,309 it's gonna be no Hispanics in the field 689 00:44:48,352 --> 00:44:53,232 to pick the fruits and the vegetables and the crops 690 00:44:53,315 --> 00:44:56,193 that we all eat and enjoy. 691 00:44:58,237 --> 00:45:01,156 So that mean the next group 692 00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:03,742 got to step up, 693 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,787 get in the fields… 694 00:45:08,789 --> 00:45:11,041 pick these crops. 695 00:45:12,793 --> 00:45:14,420 Look at Black people. 696 00:45:22,177 --> 00:45:26,140 I don't speak for all Black people, but I do speak for all niggas. 697 00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:29,226 Niggas ain't never going back to the field. 698 00:45:30,352 --> 00:45:32,980 If Jesus come back, we'll have to explain it to him. 699 00:45:33,063 --> 00:45:34,857 "Get out of there, Lord and Savior." 700 00:45:35,941 --> 00:45:38,569 We got 400 years of credit out there. 701 00:45:39,528 --> 00:45:42,072 We don't even pick Fruit Roll-Ups. 702 00:45:43,490 --> 00:45:46,076 So that mean for the first time 703 00:45:47,035 --> 00:45:48,996 in 400 years, 704 00:45:49,955 --> 00:45:52,291 there's not gonna be no Hispanics 705 00:45:53,041 --> 00:45:56,253 and no Blacks in the field 706 00:45:56,837 --> 00:45:59,298 to pick the fruits and vegetables 707 00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,592 that we all enjoy. 708 00:46:02,509 --> 00:46:04,511 That mean the next group, 709 00:46:05,637 --> 00:46:07,556 got to step up, 710 00:46:08,932 --> 00:46:10,934 get in them fields. 711 00:46:11,518 --> 00:46:13,312 Look at my white friends. 712 00:46:14,980 --> 00:46:19,193 That's right, white friends! 713 00:46:19,276 --> 00:46:21,236 It's your turn! 714 00:46:22,196 --> 00:46:25,282 We need you now! 715 00:46:25,365 --> 00:46:27,242 Come on, white friends! 716 00:46:27,993 --> 00:46:29,828 You can do this shit. 717 00:46:31,371 --> 00:46:37,461 I want you to get as much sunscreen as you can legally find. 718 00:46:40,005 --> 00:46:44,843 We gonna need you to be out there for 45 minutes to an hour at a time. 719 00:46:47,721 --> 00:46:49,431 We need you, white friends. 720 00:46:50,682 --> 00:46:54,061 And don't worry, it ain't gonna be fucked up like Black slavery. 721 00:46:56,104 --> 00:46:58,315 You ain't gonna have to do it by yourself. 722 00:46:59,233 --> 00:47:02,569 We gonna be out there supporting you, white friends. 723 00:47:02,653 --> 00:47:08,033 Giving you words of affirmation and positive messages. 724 00:47:08,116 --> 00:47:12,788 We gonna be playing white Negro spirituals. 725 00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:19,711 "Doing a great job, Rebecca." 726 00:47:20,629 --> 00:47:23,382 "Put your back into it. There you go." 727 00:47:25,884 --> 00:47:30,722 "Can I get some oranges on aisle 26, please? Goddamn!" 728 00:47:34,059 --> 00:47:36,520 Just saying we all gonna need each other. 729 00:47:38,647 --> 00:47:39,731 Yeah. 730 00:47:41,191 --> 00:47:42,943 Life is too hard 731 00:47:43,735 --> 00:47:45,279 for us to be divided. 732 00:47:46,196 --> 00:47:50,617 I found out from traveling all across this great nation. 733 00:47:50,701 --> 00:47:53,203 A lot of people do some great motherfucking work. 734 00:47:53,287 --> 00:47:55,455 They don't get no credit. 735 00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:59,293 This whole country is built on the backs of farmers. 736 00:47:59,376 --> 00:48:01,753 Farmers is our motherfucking lifeblood. 737 00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:06,258 The people that got a farm, that's who run the fucking country. 738 00:48:06,341 --> 00:48:08,051 Feeding everybody. 739 00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:10,971 That's a hard job. 740 00:48:11,471 --> 00:48:13,265 That shit is not easy. 741 00:48:13,348 --> 00:48:16,268 I don't give a fuck how much money you got. 742 00:48:16,351 --> 00:48:18,395 You ain't ready for that motherfucking farm life. 743 00:48:18,478 --> 00:48:20,355 And when I say "you," 744 00:48:20,439 --> 00:48:22,274 I mean me. 745 00:48:23,483 --> 00:48:27,446 I did not know that shit was gangster like that. 746 00:48:27,529 --> 00:48:29,156 It's hard as fuck. 747 00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:32,117 I hurry up, bought a hundred-acre farm. 748 00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:33,911 Got off the grid, 749 00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:37,164 then found out what the fuck the grid was. 750 00:48:38,081 --> 00:48:42,586 What the fuck did I get off the grid for, bitch? I need the grid. 751 00:48:43,378 --> 00:48:47,883 I found out I'm not cut out for this motherfucking farm life. 752 00:48:47,966 --> 00:48:50,928 I bought all the animals that was delicious. 753 00:48:52,054 --> 00:48:56,767 A hundred chickens, a hundred turkeys, a hundred ducks, a hundred rabbits, 754 00:48:56,850 --> 00:49:01,438 a hundred cows, a hundred sheep, a hundred pigs. 755 00:49:01,521 --> 00:49:05,067 Everything that made a crackling, I bought it. 756 00:49:06,735 --> 00:49:09,196 I done had this farm for four years. 757 00:49:09,279 --> 00:49:13,241 We ain't killed a motherfucking animal yet. 758 00:49:14,117 --> 00:49:16,828 I don't know how you do this shit. 759 00:49:16,912 --> 00:49:21,583 "I'm supposed to eat these? These are my friends, bitch." 760 00:49:23,001 --> 00:49:28,215 "I done name them. I talk to them. You want me to eat Cash and Kaya, bitch?" 761 00:49:32,219 --> 00:49:37,099 Done had this farm four years. We still DoorDashing Popeyes and shit. 762 00:49:37,182 --> 00:49:40,644 The chickens cutting off the DoorDasher. 763 00:49:46,441 --> 00:49:48,694 Might as well call it Puss-Ass Farms. 764 00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:55,409 I don't care how delicious they are. They are as cute as they are delicious. 765 00:49:55,492 --> 00:49:58,954 If you can kill a baby goat, your ass is a monster. 766 00:49:59,788 --> 00:50:03,208 That motherfucker don't do nothing but be happy to be alive all day long. 767 00:50:03,291 --> 00:50:04,376 Just… 768 00:50:07,796 --> 00:50:10,716 I'm crying with mint jelly in my hands. 769 00:50:13,635 --> 00:50:14,636 Yeah. 770 00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:18,056 Be easy on yourself. 771 00:50:18,140 --> 00:50:20,017 That was my motherfucking point. 772 00:50:20,100 --> 00:50:22,602 Some shit be easier than you think. 773 00:50:22,686 --> 00:50:26,189 I'm lucky 'cause I don't have to fight by myself. 774 00:50:26,273 --> 00:50:29,109 I got a God that love me. 775 00:50:29,192 --> 00:50:31,903 Like, he take care of me. 776 00:50:32,654 --> 00:50:34,656 'Cause he know I'm slow. 777 00:50:36,533 --> 00:50:38,785 So he treat me like I'm slow. 778 00:50:39,286 --> 00:50:41,413 Yeah. That works for me. 779 00:50:41,496 --> 00:50:44,207 He just be blessing me out of nowhere. 780 00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:47,377 I don't know where it's going to come from or nothing. 781 00:50:47,461 --> 00:50:49,713 And it be real miracles. 782 00:50:50,297 --> 00:50:51,757 Like… 783 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:57,804 Like, last year I was doing this thing where I was drinking these exotic teas. 784 00:50:57,888 --> 00:51:00,015 Every day before a show and after a show, 785 00:51:00,599 --> 00:51:05,854 drinking these motherfucking hundred-dollar-a-cup cups of tea and shit, 786 00:51:05,937 --> 00:51:07,564 and put the honey in it. 787 00:51:07,647 --> 00:51:11,026 And my friend was like, "I got some special honey I'm gonna send you." 788 00:51:11,109 --> 00:51:13,820 And I was like, "Yes." And I got the special honey. 789 00:51:13,904 --> 00:51:16,198 I started putting it in the tea every day, 790 00:51:16,281 --> 00:51:19,534 and I'm feeling stronger and stronger and shit. 791 00:51:19,618 --> 00:51:21,661 I'm not knowing what the fuck is happening. 792 00:51:21,745 --> 00:51:26,291 And I found out this nigga done sent me dick-hard honey. 793 00:51:34,508 --> 00:51:38,637 I didn't know. I thought the Lord was really answering my prayers. 794 00:51:39,221 --> 00:51:42,808 "He hath rejuvenated and restoreth me." 795 00:51:47,354 --> 00:51:49,231 'Cause here's the whole thing. 796 00:51:50,065 --> 00:51:53,485 This final group of people in here, 797 00:51:53,568 --> 00:51:56,279 nobody never say nothing good about them, 798 00:51:56,363 --> 00:52:00,534 but they've been doing a great job too, and I'm part of them. 799 00:52:00,617 --> 00:52:04,996 Where's all the men in the building? Make some noise if you a man. 800 00:52:05,622 --> 00:52:07,499 Keep up the good work. 801 00:52:07,999 --> 00:52:11,253 We know how hard it is. You doing a great motherfucking job. 802 00:52:11,336 --> 00:52:15,465 Not 19 of you, but the rest of you, doing a great job. 803 00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:17,134 Keep up the good work. 804 00:52:17,217 --> 00:52:19,344 For the men in the audience, 805 00:52:19,427 --> 00:52:21,429 I'm gonna say something 806 00:52:21,513 --> 00:52:23,557 that'll uplift you. 807 00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:25,767 'Cause that rarely happens. 808 00:52:26,351 --> 00:52:28,895 They found out something medically, 809 00:52:28,979 --> 00:52:31,481 and they don't want to fucking tell y'all. 810 00:52:31,565 --> 00:52:33,358 But I'm gonna fucking tell you. 811 00:52:33,859 --> 00:52:37,946 They found out that all the evil men in the world 812 00:52:38,029 --> 00:52:40,031 throughout history 813 00:52:40,115 --> 00:52:42,701 all got one thing in common. 814 00:52:43,368 --> 00:52:46,371 They all got a micropenis. 815 00:52:47,497 --> 00:52:48,748 All of them. 816 00:52:49,666 --> 00:52:54,754 R. Kelly, P. Diddy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Hitler, all of them. 817 00:52:57,174 --> 00:52:58,925 Yep! 818 00:52:59,009 --> 00:53:02,679 And a micropenis is any penis 819 00:53:02,762 --> 00:53:04,973 three inches or less 820 00:53:05,557 --> 00:53:06,933 when it's hard. 821 00:53:08,018 --> 00:53:11,062 We wondering why these men be so evil. 822 00:53:12,063 --> 00:53:18,028 You'd be evil too if you had a dick the size of a Now and Later, bitch. 823 00:53:18,111 --> 00:53:21,072 Every time you pull your pants down, somebody laugh. 824 00:53:22,282 --> 00:53:24,201 Even when you alone. 825 00:53:27,495 --> 00:53:29,080 So, fellas, 826 00:53:29,581 --> 00:53:31,166 thank God 827 00:53:31,666 --> 00:53:33,335 you didn't have to walk that. 828 00:53:34,461 --> 00:53:35,795 Be grateful 829 00:53:35,879 --> 00:53:39,591 you ain't got no motherfucking micropenis. 830 00:53:42,219 --> 00:53:43,595 So now, 831 00:53:43,678 --> 00:53:48,183 for the fellas, I hope you are just one truth away 832 00:53:48,767 --> 00:53:50,977 from your life shifting. 833 00:53:51,061 --> 00:53:54,397 And it can happen. It happened to me. I heard one thing. 834 00:53:54,481 --> 00:53:56,691 It changed my life forever. 835 00:53:56,775 --> 00:54:00,028 I heard one truth, and it changed everything. 836 00:54:00,111 --> 00:54:02,781 And I'm going to share it with the men in here, 837 00:54:02,864 --> 00:54:05,075 so you know it don't just relate to me. 838 00:54:05,158 --> 00:54:07,035 It relate to all of us. 839 00:54:07,535 --> 00:54:09,788 Two women told me 840 00:54:10,372 --> 00:54:11,790 that my dick 841 00:54:12,290 --> 00:54:14,626 was bigger than Shaq's. 842 00:54:16,086 --> 00:54:19,047 Let me say that again for the people in the back. 843 00:54:23,468 --> 00:54:26,429 Don't look at it right now. That's embarrassing. 844 00:54:27,138 --> 00:54:29,099 Two women told me 845 00:54:29,849 --> 00:54:31,309 my dick 846 00:54:31,393 --> 00:54:33,228 was bigger than Shaq's. 847 00:54:33,311 --> 00:54:35,397 Now, it don't matter 848 00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,191 if it's true or not. 849 00:54:38,692 --> 00:54:41,569 Soon as I heard it, 850 00:54:41,653 --> 00:54:44,114 my life changed. 851 00:54:44,197 --> 00:54:46,950 Like, I mean, instantly. 852 00:54:47,033 --> 00:54:50,328 My spine got strong, my walk was different. 853 00:54:50,412 --> 00:54:53,123 I walked like I had Shaq's dick. 854 00:55:04,926 --> 00:55:07,512 'Cause now I know my dick 855 00:55:07,595 --> 00:55:09,306 is bigger than Shaq's. 856 00:55:10,181 --> 00:55:12,517 Now fellas, what does that have to do with you? 857 00:55:14,019 --> 00:55:19,274 You know your penis is allegedly, probably, maybe bigger than mine! 858 00:55:19,983 --> 00:55:22,027 So what does that mean? 859 00:55:22,652 --> 00:55:24,738 That means all our dick… 860 00:55:29,534 --> 00:55:31,077 bigger than Shaq's. 861 00:55:32,245 --> 00:55:34,622 And now you got to act like it 862 00:55:34,706 --> 00:55:36,833 'cause you heard it. 863 00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:38,585 That's right. 864 00:55:39,085 --> 00:55:42,922 Fellas, if God done bless you with a vagina in your life, 865 00:55:43,006 --> 00:55:46,051 don't you bring out no regular dick tonight. 866 00:55:46,676 --> 00:55:48,511 She gonna be looking. 867 00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:53,600 Tonight, when you come out that bathroom, you come out with Shaq's dick. 868 00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:59,356 Don't even do no foreplay, just slam dunk on the pussy. 869 00:56:06,863 --> 00:56:08,365 Lock in. 870 00:56:10,158 --> 00:56:12,077 Give me that Shaq dick. 871 00:56:13,078 --> 00:56:16,081 And ladies, we can't do nothing without y'all. 872 00:56:16,581 --> 00:56:19,417 Y'all are the center of our universe. 873 00:56:19,501 --> 00:56:24,714 We are visual, and you are our only visual. 874 00:56:25,298 --> 00:56:27,550 So tonight, ladies, 875 00:56:28,343 --> 00:56:31,304 when you see him come out that bathroom… 876 00:56:31,888 --> 00:56:33,681 You know him. 877 00:56:34,516 --> 00:56:37,060 If he come out with Shaq's dick, 878 00:56:37,811 --> 00:56:41,314 ladies, we gonna need you to be an actress tonight. 879 00:56:41,981 --> 00:56:44,025 I need you to act. 880 00:56:44,734 --> 00:56:49,197 I don't give a fuck how many times you done seen this Vienna sausage… 881 00:56:52,325 --> 00:56:55,662 when he present that glizzy tonight, 882 00:56:56,663 --> 00:56:59,791 when he show you that hot dog tonight, 883 00:57:00,417 --> 00:57:03,378 when he bring out that frankfurter… 884 00:57:05,588 --> 00:57:11,469 women, I want you to look at it like it's exactly what you asked God for. 885 00:57:12,429 --> 00:57:14,639 Lock eyes with the penis and say, 886 00:57:14,722 --> 00:57:17,934 "Mustard!" 887 00:57:18,518 --> 00:57:20,645 Thank y'all so much. My name is Katt Williams. 888 00:57:20,728 --> 00:57:22,814 I appreciate y'all. 889 00:57:22,897 --> 00:57:26,359 Since 1995, it's been an honor. Thank y'all.