Roll sound and camera.
Action!
Let me introduce you to my wife, Khetramoni.
We got married over 170 years ago.
It is because of her
that I left my family and took to dacoity.
People renounce their families
to become saints.
But he became a dacoit.
This codshead!
"Codshead".
An ancient word. Meaning: A giant nutsack.
Listen.
You can do whatever you want.
But my husband is no longer a dacoit.
Got it?
Let's go.
Excuse me, sir.
Me?
Yes, please come here.
What happened? Come on.
This is yours now.
What's taking so long?
I was just saying goodbye.
Let's go.
-Sanjay sir. -Yes?
Looking good with the gun.
-Subhash. -Sir?
-Take a photo. -Of course.
Sir, chin down.
That's it.
F**k!
Why are you guys scared?
We have all the permissions, right?
We are not harming anyone.
Then why are you scared, Devdas?
-Sir-- -Wait.
Don't interrupt.
Tell me clearly.
Who is scared? Tell me clearly.
Raise your hands.
If you're even a little bit scared, raise your hand.
Come on.
What?
What the...
It took a lot of effort to bag this documentary.
You know the job market now.
How can we do it if you get scared?
-Sir... -What is it?
It's not the ghosts that I'm scared of.
Then what are you afraid of? Tell me clearly, Devdas!
My wife found out.
Hey, don't laugh.
What?
Those three beautiful girls... I mean, female ghosts...
They hook up with humans.
Hey, stop laughing.
Hook up?
Are you kidding me?
How could you say that?
Hook up!
Sir, I told my wife...
that I won't get involved.
But she doesn't believe me.
She suspects me.
Look Devdas, this is your personal matter.
You have to solve it yourself, right?
Hey.
Why do you need to tell your wife everything?
Huh?
Which man tells his wife every single thing?
If every husband told his wife everything
then the whole world...
The world would have...
It would have ended!
No man would live to tell the tale.
Listen, Devdas.
Don't do this, bro.
We have to keep the human civilisation alive.
F**king a**holes.
(indistinct chatter)
The problem is in your name, Devdas. Named after a jilted lover.
Your wife is bound to be suspicious.
And in this age of social media, temptations all around.
Watch those videos on social media.
You'll know what I mean.
My name is not Devdas. That's my surname.
My full name is Nabarun Devdas.
KAZIPARA KALI TEMPLE HEAD PRIEST: GOPAL GANGULY
Doesn't matter what the ruling party or the opposition is saying.
YOU ARE WATCHING "OUR VOICE" WITH GOPAL MALLICK
The public wants to hear what we have to say.
So on "Our Voice", I, Gopal Mallick will raise my voice.
COUNTRY LIQUOR STORE
(song playing)
Gopal...
KULPARA PUB LOYAL CUSTOMER: GOPAL SAHA
Gopal...
Yes?
Hello...
Excuse me.
Gopal...
Can you hear me?
Gopal...
I am calling you!
Oh, Gopal...
Gopal darling!
Gopal...
Come to me...
Gopal...
Man, you guys can't do one thing properly.
What did I tell you?
Dump the sand in Baranagar, and the rest in Batanagar.
And what did you do? The exact opposite!
When will you learn, you f**king idiots?
I'll be there in two hours. Hang up now.
Dumbf**ks.
So, what does it feel like?
It's amazing.
Does this happen every day?
Yes, almost. Quite often.
When Susmita is away...
Who's this, Razia?
He was the only human I found.
But... a man?
If you waited a little you would've found a woman.
No, no, no!
Don't come closer, man! Razia, stop!
Too much facial hair. No, no, no!
Razia, don't do this!
Stay away, man!
Hey, what the... Don't touch me!
-Nothing will happen. - What do you mean?
-Just five minutes. -Everyone is watching!
Stop! This is getting a bit too much!
-Just five minutes. -Hey! No way!
-Come to me. -I'll be done for in five minutes!
-Hey! -Out of the way!
Jayanta!
-Stop it! -It's me, Razia.
(indistinct chatter)
-Come to me! -You're getting too excited, Razia!
Careful, careful.
-What the hell! -One kiss.
-Don't do this! -One kiss...
Hey!
Someone help me!
Wow!
(title song playing)
GHOSTOLOGY
For three days, Sukumari and Kamalesh have been missing.
Where are they? What are they doing?
Have you ever kissed anyone?
Huh?
Yes.
I have never kissed anyone.
Okay.
It's not okay.
I want to kiss someone.
But we don't have bodies.
I'll tell you how to do it.
You just tell me whether you'll kiss me or not.
I...
You know...
I mean...
You don't have to feel shy.
Silly boy.
Stammy!
Dunderhead!
Churl!
Meaning?
Ask Labongo aunty.
(indistinct chatter)
My first kiss.
I never imagined this would happen.
For the first time I feel that dying was worth it.
Sukumari...
She's... She's very nice...
A lovely, lovely lady.
Oh!
I have something to say.
Go on.
I mean, I need your help.
I have friend called Kartik.
Okay.
He owes me Rs. 40,000.
If I could get him to give that money to my family...
It would really help them.
Can you help?
I'm not sure if Kartik has repaid the money.
He should, right?
(song playing)
(song playing on TV)
SUBPLOT TWO CONFRONTING KARTIK
(song continues)
YOU OWE ME 40,000 BUCKS
YOU HAVEN'T RETURNED IT!
RETURN THE MONEY
WILL YOU OR WILL YOU NOT?
Kartik!
There's still time.
Give the money to my mother.
Sir, your chilli chicken. Should I serve it?
-No, it's okay. -Okay, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Smoking is prohibited here.
Who are you?
FORGOT ME SO SOON, BUDDY?
Hey.
Return the money, and tell my mom...
that your friends will shoot a film at my house.
That's what the money is for.
To let them shoot--
Got it?
Shoot... Money...
You're talking about money?
I've wet myself in fear!
Peekaboo!
What happened? You're such a coward.
It's no fun being a ghost with a friend like you.
With a friend like you, there's no peace even after death!
Hey, bro. Got a hard on?
No, no.
Sir...
Sir, last order is at 11 p.m.
If wish to order anything else, do it now please.
No, no, no! I-I don't need anything.
I want to go home.
And don't you dare tell my mom...
that I had lent you the money.
If you mess up, I'll bury you alive!
But...
Who will make the film?
Table number three.
Sit down.
What's the film about?
Am I acting in it?
Let's do the pre-production first.
So soon?
Yes, there isn't much time.
Okay.
So...
Am I the hero?
No.
Yes.
(vocalising)
Why did you stop?
Sing.
(all vocalising)
Oh, hello, Kanishka!
It's been so long.
Come on in.
Yes, put it down.
Put it down.
Now sit down.
Sit.
Can't you see the chair there?
Idiot. Straight, straight, straight...
A little further.
Don't bump into anything.
Damn it!
Not surprised. This fool.
Turn around and sit.
Sit your butt down!
Sit.
Finally.
-(vocalising) -Want to see something?
(indistinct chatter)
Look! We are flying.
-Can you do it? -Hey! Come down.
Come down.
Stop that. Come down at once.
Come down, I say.
So naughty.
Come down!
How are you, Kanishka?
I am fine, Bhanu.
But ghosts these days don't really write letters.
Just a few official letters.
Emails have really ruined the business.
Well, times are changing.
I've seen so many things change right before my eyes.
Oh! There's a letter for you.
Hey, give it to her.
Give me.
Hey, get up.
Turn right.
Hey, where are you going?
I told you to turn right and you're going left.
This fool! Can't do a single thing right.
Hey, come back!
Just look at him.
(vocalising)
Where are you going? You idiot!
Look at this useless fellow!
Not that way, this way!
Such a fool! I've been telling you for so long!
Oh gosh!
-That hurt! -Oh no, poor thing!
-He fell! -It hurts!
Watch where you're going, Kanishka.
Get up, Kanishka, get up.
Useless!
(singing continues)
Look at this fool!
Complete idiot.
-Hey, listen to this. -Why are you dragging me?
-Sit. -Brainless fool!
Good for nothing! Can't do a single thing properly.
You moron.
Kanishka! Don't scold him.
He can't help it, can he?
It's not his fault.
The fault is in my stars, Bhanu.
I wanted to hang myself.
But the stupid rope got so tight around my neck...
It sliced my head right off.
And my body is such a pain.
He doesn't follow a word I say.
The other day, my nose was itching.
I told him to scratch it.
But he scratched my bum instead!
Look, I'm a CCTV camera!
-I can see everything. -Stop it!
Uncle, want to see something?
What?
Children these days just can't sing.
I know.
Back in my day, people could really sing.
We had the great Umarani Devi.
Oh.
What a sweet voice...
Hey, what do you want?
Nothing.
Come back inside.
-No, no! -There he goes!
-Give it to me. -Here.
-Stop misbehaving! -Catch!
-Stop throwing me around! -Kanishka uncle will get hurt.
Quiet down, everyone.
-Give me. -Here.
Don't you dare drop my head!
Hey, who's got his head?
Kanishka's head-- There it is.
-Throw! -Catch!
-Horrid kids! -Hey, come here.
Come with me.
Put the head back where it was.
Gently.
Yes.
Bluetooth connected, uncle?
-Get out of here. -Hey!
Sukumari, call him back.
I can't take it anymore. Why are you doing this?
Come here. Sit quietly now.
Come on. Be a good boy.
Becoming a ghost didn't make him any less naughty.
May I leave now?
Okay.
You're at it again?
Uncle, look! Bluetooth connected.
You rascal!
Hey! Get out of here.
Go! Go back in!
I'll teach you a lesson!
Get out of here!
We are the hosts of a new generation.
(all) We are the ghosts of a new generation.
"Host" not "ghost".
Sing along with me.
Beware of us We are all ghosts
(all) Beware of us We are all hosts
This time, it's "ghosts".
We are ghosts.
(singing continues)
That's all for today.
(cheering)
They're all so naughty--
Sukumari.
Kamalesh, please go to the next room.
Sure.
We got a letter from the Nikhil Bongiyo Odbhoot Samity.
It's about Kamalesh.
What?
"Respected Bishnupriya.
A few days ago, a ghost named Kamalesh
was sent to you for training.
And we hope he has received some training.
But we have been informed that...
Kamalesh is not actually dead.
His body is in the ICU at a Kolkata hospital.
He is currently in a coma.
His soul has been wandering all over the city...
thinking he's a ghost.
None of us realised.
We too considered him a ghost.
This has caused some uproar in the nether world.
And our organisation is at the receiving end of it.
So, please get rid of Kamalesh as soon as possible.
We will try to publish this year's ghost population census.
Regards, Jalaluddin Shaukat Ali.
Nikhil Bongiyo Odbhoot Samity."
Look, Sukumari, I can do it!
I'm flying, Sukumari!
Woah!
I've got it now! I'm flying!
I'm so happy, Bhanu!
Isn't this awesome, Sukumari?
Look at this!