𝄇 Downloaded From BollyFlix 𝄇
[tires squealing] - [Quiet] Jesus!
If you're tired, \hjust pull over.
- Look, I'm on a schedule.
Besides, it'd be \h\ha lot easier
if I didn't have to sit here \h\h\h\hin complete silence.
Knock-knock.
- What are you doing? - I'm telling a joke.
\hI say, "Knock-knock." You say, "Who's there?"
\h- So, I should already know the joke before you tell it?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hThat's idiotic. - It's a classic joke structure
with a little audience \h\h\h\hparticipation.
\hI say, "Knock-knock." You say, "Who's there?"
I say somethin' like, "Orange." \h\h\h\hYou say, "Orange who?"
\h\h\hThen I hit you with the punch line.
\h- Why the fuck am I talking to an orange?
\h\h\h\h- Why are you making this so hard?
\h\h\hJust say, "Who's there?"
Ready?
Knock-knock. \h[rumbling]
\h\h\h- Do you hear that? - Yes, it's me knocking.
\h\h\h\h\h[rumbling] Wait. I hear it, too.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHold on. Activating stealth mode.
[rumbling]
[horns honking]
Oh, shit! They have stealth mode, too!
\h\h\h- [Quiet] What the hell?
Just turn around.
- [John Doe] I can't. \hThey're everywhere.
- [Quiet] Oh, my god.
\h- [John Doe] Move! - [Quiet] Oh, my god!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hFuck! Fuck! - [John Doe] Move! Move!
\h\h\h\h\h- Shoot them. - [John Doe] With what?
\h\h\h\hThe law stripped Evelyn back down to factory settings.
\h\h\h\h\hOh, I guess they missed that one.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[cocking gun] Hey, don't waste my shells.
I only have four \h\h\h\hof those.
[gunshot and ricochet]
Shooting a steel door, smart. \h\h\hNow, I only have three.
[horns honking]
[tires squealing] \h\h\h[screaming]
- Go faster! Go faster! \h\h\h\h\h- Okay! Okay!
- [Quiet] Oh, no, no, no! \h\hGo slower! Go slower!
- Make up your mind!
[screaming]
Whoa!
[tires squeal]
[gate slams]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHey! You'll get it back
when you act mature enough \h\h\h\h\h\h\hto handle it.
\h\h- Okay, dad. [blows raspberry]
- [Watts] Come on out, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hmilkman!
\h\h\hWe ain't gonna hurt you.
\h- Yeah, right. Huh. Fell for that before.
- You have?
- [Miranda] You know, \h\hif we wanted to,
you'd be dead already.
Look, I swear,
\h\h\h\h\h\hI swear on granny's steering wheel
no harm is gonna \h\hcome to you.
\h\h\h\h\hWe just-- we wanna flap lips.
- I don't even know \hwhat that means.
\h\h\h\hBut fine. We're comin' out.
\h\h- I'm sorry that we-we snatched ya up
the way that we did,
but I saw that placard \h\h\h\h\hon your rump,
and I was like, we gotta talk.
\h\h\hI'm Watts. I run these rigs.
- John. This is Quiet. \h\h\h\hShe don't talk.
- Motherfucker, eat shit. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Much.
Hello. Hey.
- My blood missiles?
Honey, those are outside \h\h\hyour weight class.
Oh, she's a beaut.
Hmm.
Did you install this limited \hslip differential yourself?
- Sure did. Got it off of a-- \h\h\h\h\h\h- It's backwards.
[chuckles]
- Wow, did you invite me here \h\hto insult me or to talk?
- Yeah, it's not really me \h\h\h\h\hwho wants a word.
Lock it up.
\h\h\h\h\h- Whoa. - Whoa! [yelping]
- Come on.
♪
Welcome to convoy.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Wow! Okay, I'm impressed.
- [Watts] Our founders \h\h\hdrove these semis
when the walls \h\h\hwent up.
Figure we'd better keep movin' \h\h\h\hthan be sittin' ducks.
No offense, Bella.
- That's a chicken. \h\h- No, it's not.
\hAnd now, our little family is around about 30 rigs all told.
- And you never stop.
\hHow the hell do you fuel up?
- Oh, nothing goes to waste, \h\h\h\h\h\h\heven our waste.
\h\h\h\h\hYou see, we take our doodies
and turn 'em into fuel. \h\h- Yeah, we get it.
- Somethin' tells me
\hI don't wanna taste your lemonade either.
\h\h- Okay, I'm gonna have to ask y'all to stay here.
\h\h\hFeel free to look around.
\h\h\hI need a lift to the sleeper car.
- So, how'd you \h\hlose yours?
\hMetal shear? Angle grinder?
Oh, somethin' worse.
- It's fine. \h- Oh, hmm.
Well, uh, let me see \h\hwhat I got here.
Oh, this oughta fit. \h\h\h- I can't pay.
- Not lookin' for pay.
Just think you could shine \ha bit more, if you want.
\h\hMm-hmm. That's it.
- Thanks.
- Don't get it wet.
- Hey, she's here.
- Someone there?
\h\h\h\h- I brought you to the milkman, granny.
[groans]
\h\h\h\h- I'd get up and shake your hands,
\h\hbut my get away sticks ain't what they used to be.
- Granny,
your air tubes go to nowhere.
- Well, shit.
I thought I had ya.
[groans]
\hThis Goddamn metal bar keeps stickin' in my ass.
\h\h\h\hUh, uh, hey, be careful with that.
\h\h\hTook me ages to write, and I only got the one copy.
- You did that while driving?
[laughing]
- Sometimes you gotta throw it in reverse.
[laughing]
\h\h\hListen, milkman, I know I don't look it,
but my insides look like \h\h\ha seven car pileup.
I need you to go pick up \h\hsome medicine for me.
\h\h\h\h\h- You want me to make a run for free?
You're up to your asshole \h\h\h\h\h\h\hin drivers.
Ask one of them.
- Can't afford to lose \h\h\h\h\hany of them.
- The last milkman \hnever came back.
The roads are rough these days \h\h\h\h\h\hwith the vultures,
\hthe lawmen, the holy men.
- Don't love the sound \h\h\hof that last one.
- Look, I don't have time \h\h\hfor scenic detours.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI have a very important delivery,
and I got a long way \h\h\h\hstill to go.
- I heard your ride
is as naked as a baby \h\hon its birthday.
\hYou ain't gonna get far, you can't defend yourself.
\hWell, let me make it plain.
You do this run \h\h\h\hfor me,
\h\hI'll will saddle you up
with all the upgrades \h\h\hwe can supply.
We will weld on some guns, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hright now.
\h\h\hGet the rest when you get back.
[spits] \hDeal?
- Only if I get those red missiley things.
- Mnh-mnh. My blood missiles-- \h\h\h\h\hthey ain't for sale.
- You can have one.
- What, granny? Come on. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Three.
\h- Two. - Twenty.
- Zero. - Zero.
- Okay. [spits] \h\hOne it is.
\h\h- Done. [chuckles]
Pickup is at our \h\hpharmacist's.
I'll write ya up some directions.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You didn't tell me that he's going to see her.
- Where'd you think \h\h\hhe was goin'?
\hWatts and the pharmacist had a bit of a falling out.
- Falling out?
No, I pushed her \hout of a truck.
\h\h\h\h\h- Honey, go weld somethin'.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- I am. I'm gonna weld somethin'.
I'm gonna weld some guns \hto your fucking Subaru.
\h\hYou fuckin' son of a bitch.
- What about Topeka?
- Did you miss the fact
that a semi swallowed us up \h\h\hlike a fuckin' whale?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hNow, the only way I'm making it back to Chicago,
\h\h\h\h\his if Evelyn is armed to the teeth,
and now she's just gums.
So, chill.
I'll be back tomorrow.
- Oh, no, no, no.
I'm coming with you. - Like hell you are.
This is milkman business, and you're not a milkman.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[scoffs] - If you die out there,
\h\h\hI'm stuck here with horndog granny.
- Look, I'm not gonna die. \h\h\h\hI give you my word.
- I'm coming with you. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Fine.
\h\h\h\h\hI don't know how to get outta here.
the oak of eight branches." \h\h\h\h"TWhat are these?t
Directions to a pharmacist \hor to a hidden treasure?
Why couldn't she just say, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h"Turn left?"
So, what do you think happened
\h\h\hbetween Watts and the pharmacist?
- Don't know. \hDon't care.
- Oh, cool.
See you got a new finger to go with your robotic personality.
♪
\h\h\hI bet that was those holy men guys.
- Oh, you think?
Bad way to go.
\h\h\h\h\h[scoffs] - I've seen worse.
Deskinned by butchers.
\hCrushed to death by monster trucks.
That's plural.
\h\h\hI knew a milkman that fell asleep on an anthill,
and those little shits ate 'em \h\halive from the insides out.
Poor bastard betrayed \h\hby his butthole.
- Sounds like milkmen \h\hdon't live long.
- We don't.
You know, when I joined up \h\h\h\h\hto be a milkman,
I was skin and bones.
You could play my ribcage \h\h\h\hlike a xylophone.
I joined up to survive.
\h\h\hI make my run. I kill some vultures.
I do whatever I have to to see another sunrise.
You know what they told me
\hwhen they gave me this milkman I.D.?
- Why would I know that? \h\h\h\h\hI wasn't there.
- You're messing \h\hup the story.
\h\h\h\h\hThey told me milkmen don't die old.
But if I deliver this package \h\h\h\hto New San Francisco,
I might be the first.
[bells tolling]
- You hear those bells?
- [John Doe] Holy men.
Good thing they sound far away. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLet's haul ass.
[knocking] \h\hHello?
Anybody in there? \h\h\h[knocking]
- [Amber] Salutations. \h\h\h\h\h\h[screaming]
- [John Doe] Um, hi.
\hWe're here on, uh, behalf of the convoy.
- You're the pharmacist?
- No, I'm Amber.
Tea? It's gelsemium elegans. \h\h\hI cut it this morning.
Oh, you look \hso thirsty.
- I am.
\h\h- The sun isn't holding back today,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hare you, you big yellow bastard?
[giggles] Bastard.
Oh.
So, you have refreshments.
And I have questions.
\h\h\h\h\h\h[retching] - Quiet, what the fuck?
[retching]
- Oh, save your strength.
You won't be able to move \h\h\hfor a little while.
I'll be done before then. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[giggles]
- [John Doe] I knew this pickup \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwas a bad idea.
Quiet, get my gun. \h\h\h\h[wretches]
- [Amber] Oh.
So, why did you kill the convoy's milkman?
- No, I didn't.
- Mnh-mnh-mnh.
- [John Doe] I didn't. \h\hI'm a replacement.
\h\h\hYou can check my milkman placard?
- This is my friend, dendrocnide moriodes.
\h\hHis nickname is Mr. Gympie-Gympie.
\hThe nettle so nice they named him twice.
\h\h\h\h\hHe's not so nice when you touch him, though.
I've heard it's like licking a live wire,
\h\hor taking an acid shower, or going into cardiac arrest.
I wonder what it'll feel like for you.
- No.
[screaming]
- All I hear \his buzzing,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hbut you aren't a helpful little bee, are you?
You're a locust, \h\h\ha holy man,
\h\h\hreveling and eating and killing and fucking.
Thankfully, I am a firm believer \h\h\hin the power of recycling.
- Granny, she's sick.
- Okay.
- No, no, no, no, no. \h\h\h\h\hIt's true.
The medicine is for her. \h\hYou don't believe me,
you can look in my pocket, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hright there.
\h\h\h[grunting] - What are you--
[sighs]
Open.
Chew.
Okay, good.
\h\hSorry I thought you were holy men.
They're on pilgrimage, and they're everywhere.
I wouldn't.
Mr. conium maculatum here \h\h\hwould love a chance
\hto knock you on your tushy.
\h\h\h\h\h- Man, fuck this place.
- So, here is the medicine \h\hgranny requested but...
[sighs]
\h\hAre you sure she wanted this?
\h\h\h\h\hIt has no medicinal purpose.
- Well, it's on the list,
\h\hso maybe granny just likes flowers.
[giggles]
- I never gave these \h\h\h\h\h\h\hto her.
Here you go.
\h\h\h- Is it true somebody threw you
out of a moving truck?
\h\h\h- Only because I poisoned her first.
[giggles]
Watts and I have \hdisagreements.
\h\h\hPlants need space to spread their roots.
[sighs]
She couldn't make \h\hroom for me,
so I found a place
\h\hwhere I could have all the space I needed,
here, alone.
Give my love to Granny.
[bells ringing]
- We can take 'em.
- Nah.
[engines revving] \h\h\h\h[whooping]
[bells ringing]
\h\h\h\h\h- [Quiet] Where are we going?
- [John Doe] They've been \hbehind us for 50 miles,
and they're only \hgetting closer.
We gotta get off the road.
[engines revving] \h\h\h\h[whooping]
[grunting]
[bells ringing]
[engines fading]
- [John Doe] They're gone.
I think we're good \h\hfor the night.
Ah!
- Turtle, turtle... \h\h\h[fizzles out]
\h\h\h\h- Pfft. I can do that.
\h\hLet's go find a place to crash.
It smell like popcorn \h\hand ass in here.
[sniffing]
- Oh, my God, am I the ass?
- Huh?
Solid recliner, huh?
A lotta leg room.
We could definitely sleep here, right?
Wait here.
Good news!
They have an absolute \h\hclassic in here!
[footsteps nearing]
- Is this a silent movie?
- Hello, citizen. \h\h\h\h\hHop on.
\h\h\h\h\hI'm pretty sure I remember what happens.
It doesn't look safe, \h\h\h\h\hBlank Man,
and why are you drooling?
\h\h\h\hWell, because you're so attractive.
Hmm...
I don't normally meet citizens \h\h\hof the female persuasion.
- [Quiet] Oh, no, my shoe!
\h\hWhy was I cursed with such tiny feet?
[laughing]
It's your line. \h- Oh, right.
I have to say, I like when \h\hyou grab me like that.
- How dare you \hobjectify me?
- Oh, no, that's right. I gotta keep it PG-13.
- Yeah, you'd need a map to know \h\h\h\hwhere to put it, anyway.
[laughing]
Do this a lot?
- Only when I'm waiting \h\hfor a storm to pass
\h\hor in between runs, I'll check out a flick.
I like the action ones.
\h\h\hFeels good to watch somebody else
\h\h\h\hget shot at for once, you know?
You like the movies?
- Mmm...
We weren't allowed to \h\h\h\h\hwatch them.
[chuckles]
- What? Let me in \h\hon the joke.
- Okay.
\hOne time, my brother snuck us into a theater
when nobody was looking.
- Rebel. How was it?
\h\h- The movie? I don't remember.
\h\h\hIt was with two cowboys fighting a mechanical spider.
- Love that.
- All I remember, is how hard \h\h\h\h\hmy brother laughed.
[laughing]
He had a great laugh.
It sounded like \h\ha chainsaw.
[laughing]
- He sounds annoyin'. \h\h\h\h\h\h- He was.
He was so annoying.
It was so cold in the theater.
He let me wear his jacket.
He never let me wear it.
And now it's all I got.
\h\h\h\h\hWhat? - Oh, nothin'.
It's just the first time we've talked without a "motherfucker"
\h\hor a "fuck you" slipping in there.
- Fuck you, motherfucker. \h\h\h\h- That's better.
[chuckles]
\h\h\h\h\h- Who is this guy? - Oh, this is the best part.
\h\h\h\hSo, do you wanna play Michael "The Suit" Minnelli?
- Ahh, look how thin \h\h\hmy mustache is!
[laughing]
- [John Doe] I'm coming to \h\h\h\hget you, Minnelli,
no matter what you say.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- [Quiet] You'll never catch me!
\h\hI'm gonna sweat through this satin set of pajamas.
[laughing]
♪
[clears throat]
- Oh!
Uh, hey, they have \h\hrunning water,
\h\h\h\h\hso I figured, you know, laundry day.
[chuckles]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Stop! - What? What's wrong?
- I didn't ask you \h\h\h\hto do that.
Didn't you hear what \hI said last night?
\h\h- Yes, you said it was all you had,
\hso I tried to clean it.
I was trying to do \h\hsomethin' nice.
- You washed it!
\h\hThere's nothing left. There's none of him left!
\h\h\h\hI didn't even get to say goodbye, but I had this.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Look, I'm no bloodiologist,
\h\hbut I'm pretty sure it wasn't just your brother's blood on it!
[door slamming]
This is gonna be a fun ride back.
- O- Hey, let me guess.till \h\h\h\hAmber poisoned you.
\h\h\h\hWhat'd she use? She use pink or purple?
- The yellow.
- Oh, that-that one \h\h\hreally sucks.
- Yeah.
\h- Thanks for making the run.
- I'm sure you're \hlooking forward
to giving that to granny,
\h\hso she can live a long, horny life.
- This won't save granny.
Nothing will.
\hThis is to make granny more comfortable as she passes on.
♪
- Mmm.
Ugh!
Even with the flower in it, it still tastes like piss.
\h\h\h\h\h- I thought we were helping you.
- No. I got one gas pedal \h\h\h\h\h\hin the grave.
\h\hAin't nothin' gonna happen now.
\h\h\h- I don't understand. You're just gonna give up?
\h\h\h\h\h\h- Kid, you and I both know
that most people \hin this world,
\h\h\h\hthey-they don't have the luxury of going quietly.
Everybody else \h\hgoes loud--
car crashes, gunfire.
\h\h\hI heard about one unlucky son of a bitch
got swallowed up \h\h\h\hby ants.
Nah.
This way, I get to go \h\hon my own terms,
and I get to do somethin' rare.
I get to say goodbye to the people I love.
\h\h\h\h\hMilkman, you gave me a gift.
You will be paid \h\h\h\hin full.
And as for you...
[groans]
I want you to have a little somethin'.
[laughing]
Check out page 22, \h\hthe drive-thru.
[laughing]
\h\h\h\h\h\h- Jesus Christ. - [Granny] You're welcome.
Now, scram.
\h\h\hI am the last of the old timers.
\h\h\h\hYou're taking the wheel now, Watts.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSo, let me give you a nickel's worth of free advice.
The only thing more-more \h\h\h\h\hprecious than--
than gas, food, \hporno, water,
is time,
time with the people \h\h\hyou care about.
[crying]
- Mnh-mnh.
\h\h\h\h- Don't let some dumb bullshit
take that time away from you.
- Granny, you know, I--
- Oh, no. No, kid. \hI know. Now, go.
You're gettin' saltwater on my leather upholstery.
♪
See ya soon, Fang.
[sighs]
♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h- We lost a good driver today.
Most of you knew her \h\h\h\has a founder,
our matriarch,
but the people who feared her \h\h\h\h\hout on those roads,
they called her \hGranny Dread.
[cheering]
Yeah.
This Beamer, this was \hher pride and joy.
I mean, this was her ride \h\hwhen the world fell.
Back then, she was \h\hCathy Stropton,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hthe top selling real estate agent in Boca Raton,
a RE/MAX diamond club member \h\h\h\h\hten years in a row.
She was a goddamn legend.
[cheering]
We wouldn't be here \h\h\hwithout her,
\h\h\h\hand we-- we will miss her.
Phew.
Let's stack them eights, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hgranny.
- [all] Stack them eights.
♪
[cheering]
- I guess that was it.
Maybe we should \h\hleave or...
[cheering]
Oh, shit!
♪
♪ Talk to me ooh ♪
- Yeah!
♪ Talk to me ♪
♪ Talk to me ooh ♪
♪ Talk to me ♪
♪ Do you think you're \hbetter off alone ♪
♪
♪ Talk to me ooh ♪
♪ Talk to me ♪
♪ Talk to me ooh ♪
♪ Talk to me ♪
[humming]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- [Watts] Twister to Flower Power.
Come in, Flower Power.
♪
[clears throat]
- This is Flower Power.
- I didn't think I'd hear your voice again, Amber.
- Didn't think you wanted to.
I'm sorry about granny.
- [Watts] I'm sorry, too,
\hbut I'm-I'm more sorry that I-I pushed you away.
- I miss you, too, hon.
- Oh, yeah?
You do?
[cheering]
♪ All the things she said all the things she said ♪
♪ Running through my head running through my head ♪
♪ Running through my head ♪
- Lucky number .17.
\h\h\h\h\hI knew you could do it!
\h\h- I brought you a whiskey and Tang.
So, about the jacket, um...
I mean, I thought...
[sighs]
I-I mean, I heard \hwhat you said.
I wasn't thinking. \h\h\h\h\hI just--
- Get to the point.
- I'm sorry.
♪ All the things she said all the things she said ♪
♪ Running through my head running through my head ♪
♪ Running through my head ♪
You ever think about staying?
I mean, the convoy is exactly \h\hwhat you and your brother
were looking for, \h\hsafe, secure.
It's a city,
just with wheels instead of walls.
- Maybe if things \hwere different.
How about you?
- They offered.
\h\h- Oh. - Mm-hmm.
\hNot gonna lie. It sounded cushy,
but I'd still be \h\h\ha milkman.
I don't want that. \hI wanna get old.
Die an uneventful death.
[scoffs]
- There's no such thing.
♪ All the things she said all the things she said ♪
♪ Running through my head running through my head ♪
♪ Running through my head ♪
♪ This is not enough ♪
- Jesus. Maybe if you'd stop blasting the heat,
you'd stop falling asleep.
- I don't like to drive cold.
♪
\hHey, Quiet. Knock-knock.
- Who's there?
♪
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