𝄇 Downloaded From BollyFlix 𝄇
[laughing]
- We don't have time \h\h\h\h\h\hfor this.
You're hurt. \h\hI get it.
Now, there's a way \h\h\hout of this.
Okay?
[laughing]
[clicking]
This never happened \h\h\hto me before.
Really. \hMan.
Oh, man.
Damn it.
You never get a second chance \hto make a first impression.
\h\h\h\hYou know? [engine starting]
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHey! Oh, no, no, no, no! No!
This time it's loaded.
\h\h\h\h\h\hSix bullets, each with your name on it
if you don't get out of my car right now!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hThat said, I'm willing to negotiate.
[engine sputtering]
\h\h\h\hOh, I guess Evelyn doesn't like you very much.
I'll make you a deal.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYou scooch over, I'll get you out of this alive.
But you better \h\hthink fast,
\h'cause that ain't no birthday clown.
Okay, go!
[horn honks]
Oh, shit.
Okay, L1, R1, up, down, left, \h\h\hright, right, down, up.
[engine revving]
All right, Evelyn, \hwe have nine days
\h\h\hto get away from this clown,
ditch this psychopathic \h\h\h\h\h\hhitchhiker,
\h\hand make it to New Chicago.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHey, look! You forgot your seatbelt.
[brakes squealing] \h\h\h\h\h\h\hAgh!
- Here for the show?
- I'm definitely here \h\h\h\hfor the show!
[gunfire]
Oh, shit!
[laughing]
\h\h\h- You're not coming to my show?
Well, then the show \his coming to you!
[laughing]
\h\h\h♪ Oh baby I like it raw ♪
\h\h♪ Yeah baby I like it raw ♪
\h\h\h♪ Oh baby I like it raw ♪
- Suppertime!
\h\h\h\h- Stu, I love you, but this is all your fault.
\h\h\h- How was I supposed to know
\h\hthe woods would be crawling with butchers.
- They're talking about \h\hgetting us exiled.
You had to get caught \h\hsleeping on duty!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Hey! You were sleeping, too!
- I wasn't the one snoring \h\h\hlike a goat in heat!
- It's called sleep apnea.
\h\h\h\hIt's a real medical condition.
\h\h\hAnd it would be a lot more manageable
\h\hif you hadn't traded in my CPAP machine for porno.
- Well, excuse me for trying \h\hto get you something dope
for your birthday!
- You know what's dope?
A full eight hours \h\h\h\h\hof sleep.
Dreaming is dope!
- [Butcher] Francis! \h\h- [Francis] What?
- Why did you season \h\h\hboth meat baths
in teriyaki sauce?
Francis, we talked about \h\hdiversifying flavors.
- Fine! Um...
Oh, I'll cover the thick one \h\h\h\h\h\hin lemon pepper.
\h\h- No, no! [sputtering]
\h\h\h\h\h\hOh, god, it's so tangy, dude!
\h\h\h- I call dibs on the man titties.
[gunshots]
- Holy cow!
- Clear!
[whimpering]
- We don't usually find \h\h\h\hthe pigs alive
\h\h\hbefore the luau. You can cut 'em loose.
Butchers!
\h\hThey'd rather eat the flesh of their own kind than starve.
You guys are guards?
- We, uh, we used to be.
Uh, Mike and I were... - On a scouting mission
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hfrom Seattle looking for trading routes.
\h\h\h\hOur car broke down and the next thing you know
we're getting grabbed \hby these assholes.
- We're always on the lookout \h\hfor upstanding citizens.
I'll give you guys \h\h\h\h\ha choice.
\hYou can try and make your way back up north
where it can be \hpretty dicey,
\hor if you can take the grit,
join us in bringing \h\h\hlaw and order
back to the Divided States \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hof America.
What do you say?
- Come on.
\h\h- Sweet. - All right.
Welcome to the law, huh?
[cheers and applause] \h\h\h- [agent] Yeah!
\h\h\h- [Agent Stone] You guys. - [agent] Don't go dying on us.
- [John Doe] I can't believe
I already got a flat tire.
Way to go, John. \h\h\hWay to go.
\h\h\h\h\hHey, silent but not very deadly,
you gonna come over here \hand help me with this?
Don't shush me!
\h\h\h\hYou come over here and help me with the tire.
\h\h\h[Sweet Tooth] ♪ Toyland Toyland ♪
\h♪ Little girl and boy land ♪
- I'm gonna handle this shit. \h\h\h\h\h\h\hWatch my back.
Ahh!
Ah, shit. Ahh!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h[Sweet Tooth] ♪ When you dwell within it ♪
♪ You are ever \hhappy then ♪
You can hide,
but I have ways \hto find you.
Marco! Marco!
- I'll be right back, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hEvelyn.
I'll get us outta here.
- [Sweet Tooth] Marco!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hDamn! That usually works.
[electrical humming]
[clangs]
Huh?
- Shh.
[glass breaking] \h\h\h\hOh, shit.
[jackpot ringing]
- Marco.
- Polo?
- [Sweet Tooth] Well, hi there!
[laughing]
Oh, that tickled.
You know, my dad always \hwanted to play catch,
but he could never \h\h\hcatch a ball.
He could catch \h\h\ha bullet.
[gunshot]
Why are you scurrying away, \h\h\h\h\hlittle squirrel?
Looking for a nut?
This is gonna be fun! \h\h\h\h\h\hMachete!
\h\h\h\h\hHuh, swung a little wide there.
\h\h\h\hWell, aren't we a tall glass of water!
\hMe, I'm more of a Hawaiian punch!
[groans]
\h\h\h\hI'm guessing you don't fight much
outside of your car now, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hdo you?
\h- Look, clown, I don't need four wheels to kick your ass.
[laughing]
[growling]
Any chance we could get this \h\h\h\h\h\hback in the cars?
[laughing]
- How about a little \h\h\h\h\hkill music?
♪ Livin' la vida loca ♪
♪ She had dumps like a truck truck truck ♪
\h\h♪ Thighs like what what what ♪
♪ Baby move your butt butt butt ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ I think I'll sing it again ♪
♪ She had dumps like a truck truck truck ♪
\h\h♪ Thighs like what what what ♪
♪ All night long ♪
♪ Let me see that thong ♪
♪ Likin' where \hthe beat go ♪
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
♪ Baby let your bootie go ♪
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
♪ Girl you wanna show ♪
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ That thong thong thong thong thong ♪
\h\h\h\h\h- Do you love the silver-haired god?
And don't lie to me.
- Yeah, man.
\hLook, I listened to "Unleash the Dragon"
\hso many times the disc broke.
I'm not a liar.
- Well, you said you were \h\h\h\hcoming to my show
and then you \hshot at me!
\h\h\h\h\h- It was a misunderstanding.
\h\hI been getting shot at ever since I can remember.
It's force of habit, \h\h\h\h\h\hI guess.
\h\h\h\h\h- Sounds like you have trust issues.
\h\h\h\h\h- Yeah, you're not wrong.
Nice pipes, dude, \hI have to say.
That high note, whoo! \h\h\hIt was perfect.
\h\h\h- Oh, word? - Yeah, can I go?
I got somewhere to be.
\h\h\h\h- I thought you said you were coming to the show!
- Of course, I am.
Just can I leave \hafter the show?
\h\h- Well, in that case, tonight is opening night!
[laughing]
- How were your showers?
- Aw, I don't know \h\h\hthe last time
\h\h\h\hI felt hot water that wasn't my own piss.
Uh, sir.
\h- Consider it your recompense
\hfor upholding law and order.
Warm showers, warm blankets, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwarm meals.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Oh. - Aw, fuck, mashed potatoes?
\h- [Mike] And goddamn, look at all that gravy!
\hI wonder how we can get one of those punch cards.
- Now, let's proceed \hto your initiation.
Right this way, \h\hgentlemen.
What you see down there \his our supply truck.
\h\h\h\hIt brings us important provisions.
\hAs you can see, it's broken down.
\h\h\hThat's why it's not moving.
What I need for you to do is to protect that truck.
- From what?
- Seagulls.
\h- [Sweet Tooth] Skittles? - [John Doe] No, I'm good.
\h\h\h\h[chomping] - Pre-show jitters.
Listen, I really appreciate you coming along willingly.
Normally I have to drag people \h\h\h\h\h\h\hinto the theater
kicking and screaming.
But word of advice,
\h\h\h\h\hyou won't like what happens if you run.
What? Oh, him?
Nah, he was here \h\h\h\h\hbefore.
Hey, Donald.
\h\hDon't worry, he can't hear us.
\h\h\h\h\hI love names. I'm kind of a name guy.
You know, the right one \h\hcan send a shudder
down your spine.
\hWanna know what I go by?
- There's not a person \h\h\hon the West Coast
that hasn't heard \hof Sweet Tooth.
- See what I mean?
\h\h\hI mean, you really feel that in your bones!
What's your name, \h\h\h\h\hfriend?
- John Doe.
- Nah, I'll give it \h\h\h\h\ha seven.
- Hey, I didn't \h\h\hpick it.
I don't know what name \h\h\h\hI was born with
or who I am really.
\h\h- Oh, amnesia. What's your brand?
\h\h\h\h\hPost-traumatic, transient, dissociative?
\h\h\h- All I know is my first memory
is me waking up \h\h\hin my car
with blood coming \hout of my head.
\h\h\h- Wait, that's my first memory too!
\h\h\h\h\hMy head covered in blood.
\h\h\h\hOf course, it was being pushed
\h\h\h\hout of my mom's whisker biscuit, but...
\h\h\h\h\h\h- Whoa! You remember that?
\h\h\h\h\h\h- Oh, yeah. I remember everything.
You should consider \h\hyourself lucky.
\hThere are some things I wish I could forget.
\hLike the time I shit my pants
\hin my elementary school production of "Oklahoma".
\h\h\hI can still see the audience's faces
laughing, mocking.
Did you know Sisqo's \hreal name was Mark?
[grunting]
- [Stu] Oh, a rock.
- Man, what is wrong with you?
You holding in a fart \h\h\h\hor something?
- If the truck is so important, \hwhy don't they just move it?
Something doesn't smell right, man.
- Smells good to me.
\h\h\h\h\h\hBack in Seattle, they treated us like morons.
\h\h\h\h\h\hNow look at us; we holding .30-cals, dude!
\h\h\h\h\h\hCome on, baby, get your head in the game.
Come on. Come on.
There you go. \h- Fuck you!
- Eyes up, boys.
Those seagulls lay a fingernail \h\h\h\h\h\h\hon our supplies,
it's open season.
- What the hell?
\h\hHey, why do you call 'em seagulls?
\h\h\h\hThese look like normal survivors to me.
\h\h\h- What else would you call a bunch of fucking trash eaters?
\h- Dude, are we really gonna kill these guys?
[suppressed gunshot]
- There's one left, Stu.
He's all yours.
Clean it up!
[suppressed gunshot]
[laughter] Melon down.
- I saved your ass.
- [Agent Stone] Seagulls, \h\h\h\hbutchers, exiles.
They see the world in shades of gray.
\h\h\h\hWhat I need from you two lawmen
is to just show them
that there's only two colors \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hin the world,
black and blue.
\h\hNow, you missed, Stu. It can happen to anyone.
Rookie mistake.
Hey, don't let it \h\hhappen again.
Okay.
You guys want some burgers?
- Bubby-baby, \hbubby-baby.
Tip of the teat, tip of the teat.
Tip of the teat.
\h\hMy marvelous mutterer makes me mingy on Monday.
- You sleep here?
What, the penthouse \h\hwas booked up?
- Nah, way too much \h\hspace up there.
Nice bidet, though.
Like taking a shotgun \h\h\h\h\hup the ass.
\h\hNo, I sleep here because it reminds me
of where I was \hbefore Vegas.
\h\h\hBack then, I lived with a real solid group of dudes.
But then the world took a shit \h\h\h\hand I came to Sin City.
Now that was a party.
- You've been here alone \h\hfor over two decades?
- Oh, shit, has it been \h\h\h\h\h\hthat long?
Look at this guy.
Hasn't aged a day. \h\hWhat a beauty.
Nah, I'm not alone.
\h\hI got Harold, which, have you--
you haven't met \h\hHarold yet.
I'm gonna introduce you.
This is Harold.
Been my best friend since I was a kid.
\h\hYou know, my entire life people have been lying to me.
Even my fucking parents!
But, uh, never Harold.
No, he can't lie to me. He can't lie to anyone.
- I can see that.
[sighing]
- I don't know what I'd do \h\h\h\h\h\h\hwithout him.
Look at that smile.
So, you got a Harold?
\h\h\h\h\h\h- No. I got an Evelyn.
- Oh, that's cute.
\h\h\h\h- Before I met her, being alone was all I knew.
\h\h\h\h\hYou know, she makes everything easier, you know?
Sometimes I wish I could \hmake her laugh. Right?
\h\h\hI have to say after all this time
that's the sound I miss the most.
\h- [Sweet Tooth] You know what sound I miss the most?
The sound of hand meat \h\hclapping together.
\hNothing like that glorious applause.
I mean, it's almost better \h\h\h\hthan, I don't know,
hearing somebody choking \h\h\hon their own blood.
\h\h\hBut look at me getting carried away.
Good thing that your Evelyn's \h\h\h\h\h\h\hgot hands, huh?
She must clap for you \h\h\h\hall the time.
- Nah, she doesn't. \h\h\hShe's my car.
- You talk to your car?
That's weird, man.
\h\h\hAh, mwah! There you are.
So, if Evelyn's not the girl, \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwho's she?
\hI caught this little pest crawling through my vents.
See, I was gonna \h\h\hstarve her.
Watching the life slowly \hdrain from their eyes.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hKind of my artistic process.
[laughing]
\hYou know, the last guy lasted almost four weeks.
Hey, Wilbur!
I think she's gonna give you \h\h\h\ha run for you money.
She won't.
Bubby-baby, bubby-baby.
- Hey, you tried to kill me \h\h\hevery chance you get.
\hWhy should I show you mercy?
Goddamn it!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHey, man, why don't you let her out?
- And why would I do that? \h\h\h- No, no, no, listen.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWhat good is an audience of one?
\h\h\h\h\hThink about all the meat slapping
\h\h\hyou'll hear with four hands.
- Ah, that's true.
I don't often get feedback
\hfrom the 18 to 35 female demographic.
\hFine! [sighs]
You fish her out and take a seat.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hDon't worry, I got a table just for you.
- And what happens \h\hafter the show?
- Well, you go on \hyour merry way.
- Really?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Well, if I'm being honest,
nobody has survived \h\hall three acts.
Gird your loins!
\h\hCurtains up in ten minutes!
\h\h\h\h\hwhite tiger prepared three ways.
There's a whole pack of those \h\h\h\hmilky white assholes
\hbreeding up on the fourth floor.
Anyway, enjoy.
Bony tit!
- Give me back those keys! \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHey, hey!
If it wasn't for me,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hyou would be a starving corpse right now.
\h\h\hListen, neither one of us made it pretty far on our own.
\hSo, instead of us trying to-- holy shit, this steak is good.
Instead of us trying to stab \h\h\heach other in the back,
we should put our heads together and figure out
\hhow in the hell we're going to make it through the show.
\h\h\h\hIs any of this getting through to you?
Blink twice for yes.
Cool, we're fucked.
[clapping]
[clears throat]
- Tonight, I will be presenting \h\h\h\ha one-man play entitled
"That's In-Room Entertainment",
\hbased on the hotel's in-room entertainment.
♪
\h\h\h\hHi, I'm Debra from guest services.
And welcome to Nevada!
Deep in the heart of Vegas \h\h\his the Monte Cristo,
a veritable oasis \h\hin the sand.
\h\hAnd don't forget about our promenade.
\h\h\h\h\hIt features all the latest brands
and is just a stone's throw \h\h\h\h\h\hfrom the salon.
Girl, might be time to take care \h\h\h\h\h\hof those split ends!
\h\h\hAnd for all you lovebirds out there,
Las Vegas is still the marriage \h\h\h\h\hcapital of the world.
Time for kisses!
And you have selected \h\hexpress checkout.
Please leave your key \h\h\hat the drop box
at the front desk.
\h\h\h\hAnd thank you for staying with us.
Well, we've come \h\h\hto the Q&A
where I ask the Q's \hor I kick your A.
\h\h\h\h\hSo, now is the moment of truth.
What do you think?
- Oh, um, I loved it.
- Liar!
\h\h\h\h\hWhat exactly did you love about it?
- Uh, your performance! \h\h\h\h\hI was moved!
\h\hWhat? It was a tour de force!
\h\h- I am gonna tour de force this machete down your throat!
If you're not gonna \h\htell the truth,
then I'm gonna make you \h\hshut up and bleed.
- It was a fucking \h\h\hsnooze-fest.
- Now you talk?
- What the hell \hdid you say?
- It sucked.
Your performance was \hdull as dick water
and frankly beneath you.
- And you?
You agree with her?
\h\h\h\h\h- Yes. I agree with her.
\hCome on, man, it was boring.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI get it, you've been here forever,
but you did a play \h\habout a hotel!
\h\h- But didn't Mark Twain say you should write what you know?
- Well, Mark Twain's \h\h\h\h\ha dumbass.
\hYou gotta get out in the world, man.
\h\h\h\h- Yeah. Look, trust me,
\h\h\hyou don't want to spend the rest of your life alone.
\h\h\hYou end up talking to a car.
- Yeah, like this guy.
- You know what? \h\hYou're right.
I can't wait here for my audience.
\h\hI need to get out there and hunt my audience down.
\h\h\h\h\h\h- Oh, no, no, that's not what I meant.
- No, that's exactly \h\h\hwhat you meant.
\h\h\h\hI'm gonna get out there, and I'm gonna embrace the chaos.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWho knows, maybe I'll even fall in love!
The show is going \h\hon the road!
♪
\h\h- That was beautiful, man!
♪
- Well, a night \h\hof firsts.
\h\h\h\hMy first honest critique,
first people I ever let \h\h\hleave here alive,
but most importantly, \hmy first two fans.
You two.
I got you a headshot.
There's an inscription \h\h\h\h\h\h\hin that.
- [John Doe] "See you soon." \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- I hope not.
\h\h- Hey, thanks for being honest.
\h\h\h[engine revving and tires squealing]
♪
[gunshots]
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
\h\h\h♪ Baby That thong ♪
♪ I said I like \h\h\hthe way ♪
♪ Baby ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ Listen Said I like the way ♪
♪ I don't think you heard me ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ All right ♪
- [John Doe] You know, I have \h\h\hto admit I didn't think
we were gonna make it \hout of there alive.
I mean, it would have been \h\h\h\h\h\h\ha lot easier
\h\h\h\hif you had piped up instead of just trying to--
\h\h\h\h\h\hoh, come on! Have you learned nothing?
What is your problem \h\h\h\h\h\h\hanyway?
\h\h- I'm trying to find someone.
- Well, I'm trying \hto get somewhere,
and I lost a hell of a lot of time
\hwatching that god-awful play.
If you put the gun down, \h\h\h\hI'll drop you off
\h\h\h\h\h\has close as I can to where you're going. Deal?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Fine. But I'm keeping the gun.
- No, come on, that one's new. All right, all right, take it.
What's your name anyway?
Okay, I'll start. \h\hHi, I'm John.
You're...?
Bridget?
Yolanda? Jennifer?
Okay. So, since you \hlike to be quiet,
that's what I'm gonna \h\hcall you: Quiet.
Is that okay, Quiet? \h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Yep.
\h- So, you're really not gonna tell me your name?
- Nope.
- Fine.
\h\h\h\h\hMakes it easier when I drop your ass off
\h\h\hin the middle of nowhere, Quiet.
- [Agent Shepard] \hSack up, newbs.
Got a live one.
I'll stop the vehicle
\h\h\h\hand demand to see their open road license.
If they don't got it, \h\hthey don't pass.
What?
\h\h\h- Hey, sorry, just one question.
Where do we bring 'em?
Oh, and why are we \h\hstopping them?
\h\h\h\h\hAnd what's an open road license?
Is it common at the-- \h\h\h- Just get in.
- We learn on the job. \h\h\h\hI respect that.
- I've never seen \h\ha checkpoint
that wasn't outside \hof a settlement.
\h\hAnd these guys aren't on the map.
So, more delays.
\h\h\h\hLet me do all the talking.
I deal with these guys \h\h\h\h\hall the time.
I speak their lingo.
- Hey, ORL, please.
- Did you just ask me \h\h\h\h\h\hfor oral?
- Uh, no, sir. \h\h\h\h\hORL.
Open road license.
- That's an awful acronym.
\h\h\h\hHey, look, I'm just a milkman.
I'm just passing through, man. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCome on.
And you guys look great, \h\h\h\h\h\h\hby the way.
I love your shirts, man.
What are you, like a club \hor a team or something?
- We're officers. \h\h\hOf the law.
- Ah, angry black friend. \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOkay.
\h\h\h\hHey, where-- Get back in the car!
- [Stu] Listen to \h\hyour friend!
- Eat my ass, motherfucker!
[clicking and buzzing]
[wincing]
♪
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