I was here last week. Where the fuck were you?
FRANK: I recently experienced a tragedy.
I lost the love of my life.
She's dead, Frank.
She was my soul mate.
No, I guess I'm gonna have to find and train a new assistant manager.
-Do we need one? -You should do it.
You'd be great at it.
Can I come over tonight?
I'm busy.
-What, you fuck her? -What?
Did you fuck her?
Shit! Stop!
Stay away from her, you stay the fuck away from her.
From who? My mom?
That's my sleep-over.
This is Nick.
Holy shit.
He's been in juvie since he was nine.
How old is he?
Eighteen, had to let him out 'cause of his birthday.
He's my brother from another mother, you feel. We're tight.
You need to pick up the pace a bit.
Nobody's waiting. It's not a big deal.
I've seen trees grow faster than he's bussing that table.
Oh, shit.
-You're not pregnant? -I'm not.
We're Derek's parents. We'd like to talk to you about the baby.
-What baby? -Derek and Debbie's baby.
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
(VEHICLE REVERSING ALARM BEEPING)
It's too early for thinking.
Debbie's gotta get an abortion.
You've been hashing over this all night.
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
You need a break.
How could I have let this happen to her?
You didn't.
Whenever a girl gets pregnant,
the first thing people think is bad parenting.
You're an excellent sister-parent.
I should've made her go on the pill.
Do you wanna maybe
do your taxes, while we're at it?
Sorry, I'm not really in the mood.
Hmm.
Seems like you are to me.
If she has this baby, she's gonna be like every other sad-ass girl
-in this fucking neighborhood. -Okay.
You know, you gotta shut up for a few minutes.
You need a stress reliever.
And I only have 12 minutes before my meeting.
So, this is what's gonna happen. You're gonna shut off your brain,
and you're gonna breathe into your body.
(MUFFLED) I can't breathe. Your hand is on my--
Yeah, I said "shut up."
Breathe through your nose.
-(MOANS) -You feel me inside of you?
Yeah, relax, close your eyes. Yeah.
Let me do all the work.
(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)
Just let go and give yourself over to me. That's it.
-Do it. Good girl. -(MOANING)
(GASPING AND MOANING)
Nice job.
(BOTH GROANING)
Now I gotta blue-ball it over to my meeting before work.
I'm gonna rally this family to make Debbie do it.
Take it easy on her. You know how it is.
You tell a teenager what to do, they always do the opposite.
Okay.
Hey, there's a nurse coming over to the diner today
to give you your drug test.
Why?
Insurance.
You have a felony drug conviction and you're handling money now.
See you at the grind, Sparky.
Ooh. Hello, Charise.
You, too, Tamika.
Lovely to make your acquaintance, Kymberly, with two Y's.
(CELLPHONE RINGING)
Hey, buddy, time to get up.
-We gotta do our rounds before school. -Huh?
Not you. Go back to sleep.
You don't need to sleep with that hammer no more.
No one's gonna try to ass-rape you in my crib.
I've got your back. Okay?
KEV: (OVER RECORDING) You're the best tennis players on the planet.
Gemma, you have the number-one back-hand smash in the world.
Amy, you can serve and volley like no one's business.
VERONICA: Kev...
I'm thinking this subliminal message thing is really working.
VERONICA: Well, at least it put 'em to sleep.
What, you saying my voice is boring?
No, I'm saying we got 30 minutes to get down to business
while Venus and Serena finally take a nap.
-Yes. Let's do this. -(VERONICA CHUCKLING)
(KEVIN MOANING SOFTLY)
(VERONICA CHUCKLING)
Babe, as much as I love hearing your subliminal message voice,
can we take this upstairs?
Really? 'Cause it's kind of turning me on.
VERONICA: Mmm-hmm. (CHUCKLING)
Ooh!
YANIS: Get away from my babies before I blow your heads off!
LISA: You should have put muzzles on them!
-(BABIES CRYING) -Damn it, Yanis! Woke up the girls again!
All right, I'll go deal with it!
Goddamn it, Yanis!
Come on. It's all right, it's okay.
Come on, you can't take them! Hey, those are my babies!
We asked you to make them stop barking.
They're dogs. They bark! That's what they fucking do!
Yanis! Shut up!
My babies haven't napped in over a week because of your loud mouth!
Now, what is going on?
These two rug-chomping dyke-bats called Animal Services on my babies!
All right, all right! Would you just calm down
and tell me the story without the gay-bashing?
Look, man, I've had Michael, Tito, LaToya, Marlon and Janet
since they were eight weeks old.
They're not licensed.
-I don't know what that even-- -Lisa and Lisa, what is going on?
There's feces everywhere, Kevin.
-So? -One of them is foaming at the mouth.
They could bite our kids, give them rabies.
Kids? I didn't know you guys had kids.
Not yet.
But soon.
Hey, Tito! Daddy's gonna get you out of there!
I need you to back away from the van, sir.
What are you gonna do with the dogs?
I'm gonna bring them down to the shelter.
Owner has seven days to get permits and provide a clean living area,
and pay for microchips and vaccinations.
'Cause otherwise, they become candidates for adoption or euthanasia.
You can't kill my dogs, motherfucker!
Hey, get the fuck off me! Don't make me fucking tase you!
All right, all right, all right, okay,
Yanis, you're gonna get your ass thrown in jail.
You heard the guy. You can get your dogs back.
Go start by cleaning up the mounds of shit in the front yard. Go.
(SHOUTING IN GREEK)
Can you just go do it quietly?
Thank you, Kevin.
Just remember, Lisa and other Lisa,
we were doing fine in this neighborhood before you two moved in.
Get out of my shit. I'm taking them.
I need your help convincing Debbie to get an abortion.
Sleeping.
-Can we talk about it later? -Fine.
See you at work.
Can't wait.
Go sleep in your room, Frank.
I can't. I just can't.
It's the last place in the United States I spent with Bianca.
I'm sick of hearing about your dead girlfriend.
My...
What? What's the matter with you?
How could you say something like... What's the matter...
How dare you blaspheme the name of Bianca?
How dare you?
Good God, Fiona! Jesus.
Good morning.
"Good morning to you, too, Fiona."
-Friend Nick is still here, huh? -Yep.
How long you plan on staying, Nick?
A while.
You don't have a place to go?
No family.
Does he talk?
I've got him covered.
So, uh, hey, Debbie?
Yeah?
-I just called the clinic. -So?
I made an appointment for you for Friday for an abortion.
They want us there this afternoon for your prescreening.
-I'll pick you up after school. -(SCOFFS)
Not part of my plan.
But now that Derek's gone, it's--
He's coming back. His parents are assholes.
Did you talk to him?
We love each other.
Debs, come on. You're 15.
Yeah? Please, you're always bragging
about how you had to raise us when you were 16.
Bragging? It was forced on me.
I didn't have a choice. You have a choice.
Yeah, and I choose to have a baby.
You have your whole life ahead of you.
And I don't have my whole life ahead of me if I have a baby?
You can have a baby when you're older
and finished high school, college and gotten a job.
Right, so I should just stop being pregnant, then?
-Yes. -I'm not killing my baby.
It's not a baby! It's a few cells!
Does this look like a few cells?
The website says my baby's the size of an orange right now.
It totally looks like you just fucked a tadpole.
Debbie, be realistic.
How are you gonna go to school and have a baby?
You want me to be realistic? Okay, I'll be realistic.
Knives are in the drawer if you wanna do a home abortion.
Carl!
We're leaving.
Here's a couple hundies for her abortion and Nick's room and board.
Where'd you get this?
Earned it.
How?
Let's go, Nick.
I'm taking this bag of flour with me.
Why?
To prove to you that I can go to school and take care of a baby at the same time.
A bag of flour?
(MOANING SOFTLY)
Yeah, are we cool with everything that happened?
You're asking me that right now?
(THEO SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
Yeah. I mean, are we?
I'm having sex with you, aren't I?
Talk dirty to me.
Okay. I'm gonna slap you with my big dick and come all over your face.
Jesus, maybe not that dirty.
Never mind, never mind. I'm gonna come anyway.
(BOTH MOANING LOUDLY)
Fuck.
-(BOTH PANTING) - (THEO CONTINUES SINGING)
Sorry, it was... It was weird with Theo in the shower.
(CHUCKLING)
Then you should kill him.
With a gun or a pipe?
Dealer's choice.
He have a good life insurance policy?
Cool mil.
Wow.
Make it look like an accident, though, okay?
You are joking, right?
Am I?
Maybe. Maybe not.
It's all yours, doll-face. You, too, Helene.
I gotta get ready for work.
Will you start a pot of coffee, please, lover?
Yeah.
(THEO CONTINUES SINGING)
Hey, yo, you stay out front
while I go in and offer Mr. Wu a little neighborhood protection policy.
I'll give you the signal if I need you, all right?
See you next Thursday, Mr. Wu.
Like taking candy from an Asian dry-cleaner.
Used appliance store next, before school?
You're gonna carry a bag of flour around all day?
If that's what it takes to prove it to Fiona
that I'm my own person? Yes.
Well, good luck with that. She's a total control freak lately.
Tell me about it.
Acting like she's our mom.
It's my body, I can do what I want.
Yeah.
I'm getting it from all sides.
Here, she's jamming meds down my throat, and at work,
she's ripping me a new one over some bullshit.
Found them.
Baby clothes?
Gotta dress Desiree, don't I?
(CELLPHONE BEEPING)
Look what she's sending me.
Delete that shit.
-Mmm. Look at Ms. Thang in real clothes. -(SCOFFS)
Yeah, if you call Goodwill real clothes.
At least you're not shlepping burgers in a Tron uniform.
Gonna miss the tips.
You can have the $1.50 I got from Mr. Asswater.
I mean "Atwater."
-Hey, Olga. -Yeah?
Did you ever try to talk your daughter into having an abortion?
Didn't get a chance.
She hid her pregnancy from me for six months.
Yeah, my kid sister was trying to do that to me.
-Debbie's pregnant? -Yes.
That sucks.
Adam, fry up this tissue with table 37's order of hash browns.
-Guy's running my ass ragged. -Sure.
You guys, we shouldn't be frying up tissues anymore, okay?
What about a shoelace?
Let's not fry anything.
Not even the chicken strips?
Of course the... You know what I mean.
I don't think we do.
Maybe you should explain it to those of us not smart enough
to become the assistant manager.
I don't need your shit today, Melinda.
Let me know when you do need it.
You used to ask Adam to fry up tissues, Fiona.
Yeah, and now I'm trying to be responsible.
So cut me some slack!
Not gonna happen. You're management now.
Hey, how'd it go with Debbie?
Bad. She thinks Derek's coming back.
-Is he? -Hell, no.
How was your meeting?
Me and my blue balls had a good time.
Sorry.
It's all right. I jacked off behind the podium while I was sharing.
Am I a horrible person
'cause I secretly hope Debbie has a miscarriage?
Well, it's not a secret anymore, but it's understandable.
Mr. Sean, can I have Sunday off for my daughter's baptism?
Ask Fiona, she does the schedule now.
In fact, that goes for everyone.
Fiona's setting the schedule around here from now on.
Yes, Melinda. That is exactly what it looks like when I'm doing it.
(LAUGHING)
Yo.
Listen, I'm sorry about the, uh--
What, broken knuckle 'cause you thought I was fucking my mother?
Yeah, no, I didn't exactly think you--
Good morning.
I'm fucking my father, actually. Bye, Daddy.
See you, son.
Want some eggs?
Uh, no, no.
Just coffee, thanks.
(SNIFFLES)
Actually, I should probably go, too.
You had me worried there, the other day.
(CHUCKLING) You thought Helene was sleeping with Dylan?
(SCOFFS) Yeah, about that, I'm sorry.
You do understand that the only reason you're having sex with my wife
is because I allow it, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I got that. Um...
I'm gonna go now.
Have a good day.
I wish I could invent a machine
that would just erase her memory from my brain.
You know, some people say that this Sativa
is a memory-erasing machine, Frankie.
(LAUGHS)
I know that it's funny, Gar. I'm just not in a laughing mood right now.
Hey, free beer to anyone who helps us bring the rest of this stuff in.
Why the hell should we work for free beer
when these hipster jack-wipes are buying it for us
just for treating them like shit?
Another beer for my pal, Tommy.
Thanks, ass-wipe.
Hey, what is going on with the smoke, Svet?
The place is like a hotbox. They can't light up in here.
They pay $12 for espresso, they can smoke my balls if they want.
Twelve bucks? Toke it up, folks!
You don't really have balls, do you?
Let me give you a little advice my shaman gave me when my grandpa died.
You have any of Bianca's things?
You kidding? I got a whole shrine.
A hair brush, underwear, bra, bikini, lab coat, shells, photographs.
-A little jewelry box that-- -Burn it all.
What?
Bring it to the hospital, where you first met her.
Light it on fire.
Guaranteed to help you find closure.
-Seriously? -Trust me.
You are too fine a man to hurt like this.
Be free, little Frankie. Be free.
Holy fuck.
You're right. I'm gonna do it right now.
Hey, take my lighter, amigo.
You're a good egg, Gar. (KISSING)
Burn, baby, burn.
Where'd we get an espresso machine?
Carl and big, scary, colored man, they steal from fancy coffee place.
Svet, you do remember that my wife is black, right?
So?
(STEAM WHOOSHING)
Ah!
Shit!
What?
You mind giving up your seat for me and my baby?
It's a bag of flour.
Dude, get up. She's obviously retarded.
-Her or the baby? -Just get up.
Thank you.
(CELLPHONE BEEPS)
DEREK: Hey, this is Derek. Leave a message after the beep. Thanks.
Hey, it's me again.
Call me back when your stupid parents aren't around.
Miss you. Bye.
(MOTOR CYCLE ENGINE REVVING)
Yo, there's Charleston. Come on.
Yo, Mr. Charleston. Hey, Charleston, wait up!
-Yeah? -Yo.
Think you can you take my backpack into school for me?
Why? What's in it?
Here's the thing.
I could either tell you or not tell you.
Not tell me.
Meet me at your janitor's closet in 10 minutes.
You better make it 15. I'm gonna stop at the cafeteria
and pick me up a couple Milky Ways with this Benjamin.
It's the leg.
Yeah, all right. Go ahead.
All right, we're in. Let's go.
Yeah.
This is it. You're home, honey.
(SIGHS)
-Excuse me? -Oh, gee.
This won't take but one minute.
DOCTOR: What are you doing?
I just need to light all this stuff on fire.
Are you nuts?
I need security at bed 4, ASAP. Man with a bomb.
This isn't a bomb.
It's Bianca's stuff. Unless Bianca had a bomb in her stuff.
-Bianca? Bianca Samson? -Mmm-hmm.
-Are you Frank? -Mmm-hmm.
Put the lighter down now, jackass.
I'm not trying to hurt anybody.
I'm just... I'm just trying to erase her memory.
It's okay, Lenny. I got this.
Are you sure, Dr. Joung?
Yes, this is Bianca's friend, Frank.
You know about me?
Where are you, Ian? This is your sister and your boss.
It's after 11:00 and you're supposed to be at work.
-Get your ass in here. -(BELL CHIMES)
Hey, don't be sticking that in my chicken.
It's part of my job now.
That's a work of art.
And this work of art is undercooked. It needs more fire.
Or it needs to be served to my customer 'cause it's already 10 minutes late.
Who ordered the salmonella?
Hey, I'm off to a meeting.
Another one? We're in the middle of a lunch rush.
You've got this.
You're late, dude.
-Hey. -He's gonna fire your ass
if you keep showing up late.
I was helping out Debbie.
Well, good. Did you tell her that she can't have a baby?
-No. -Why not?
It's none of my business.
Of course, it is. We can't afford another kid.
More water on 23 and a couple of forks to 15, Ian.
You got it.
-She's gonna ruin her life. -You don't know that.
We need to be a united family front, Ian.
You can't tell somebody what to do with their body, Fiona.
Hey.
Just met with my buddy, Kirk Freund, over at Chapman Energy Systems.
Yeah?
I got you an internship with him for next summer.
Yeah, I'm not really an internship guy.
Hey! Hey, did you convince Debs to go?
No. She won't listen to me and Ian is no help.
I'm freaking out.
You're gonna be on the geothermal research team.
I don't know, I don't work for free.
Hey, do you want me to try?
FIONA: Yeah, would you?
You're doing this internship.
Can you get a car and pick her up after school?
We gotta get her in for a pre-exam today.
Sure.
You pay your dues now, the contacts you make will pay off later.
I gotta get back to work.
Right. All right, bye.
When I was your age, I paid someone to work at their company.
Yeah. Hey, do you mind if I borrow your car?
What am I, Yuber?
No, it's "Uber." I'll have it back in a few hours.
That car is my baby.
No, I know. It's an emergency. I will be very careful.
We're not really friends.
I wake you up every morning.
I'd feel better lending it to a Chapman Energy Systems intern.
Fine. You know, I'll take the meeting with the Kirk energy guy.
-Now, where are your keys? -Probably left them in the car.
Right. Thank you.
-Mr. Sullivan? -Yes, Deborah?
I need to go change my baby.
-What? -She's wet.
You realize that's a bag of flour in a dress, right?
Oh, duh, I'm practicing for when I have my real baby.
Well, just because you got yourself knocked up,
doesn't mean you should have special privileges
over the other students who managed to keep it in their pants.
Fine, go.
My imaginary friend needs to drop a deuce. Can I be excused?
Sit down and shut up.
(CELLPHONE BEEPS)
V? This ladder is for shit.
I need you to get off the phone and hold the ladder, please.
I am.
Fiona's spinning out about Debbie being pregnant.
Wants me to bring her an Ativan.
Yeah, well, I'm spinning out about Debbie being pregnant, too.
Do you know, in a couple years, that could be Gemma or Amy?
Not with the chastity belts we're gonna put over their vaginas.
Hipster maggots drunk last of the IPA shit-water beer.
All right, I'll go get more when I'm done.
Coming down, V.
All right, folks, that should do it.
You want to know why so many douchebag with top-knot hair
that smell like farm animal come into our bar?
(LAUGHING) Not that we're complaining.
"Alibi voted Best Shittiest Bar on the South Side."
No shit.
It also says that we have the skankiest and meanest Russian bartender.
Wow. Best Shittiest Bar.
Yeah, I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I know. Me, either.
I've never been the best at anything.
Sorry, I forgot my wallet.
It's okay. Bianca told me all about you.
Yeah?
No money. Always making her pay for everything.
Good times.
I don't know, made her happy somehow.
She visits me sometimes in my dreams.
You, too?
I hear her talking to me sometimes.
I really miss her, Frank.
I do, too.
-What are you doing? -Bianca's talking to us.
She's saying, "Go for it, you wacky kids, you."
You're confused, Frank. It's part of the grieving process.
You looked at me the way Bianca did.
Bianca had cancer.
That's the only reason she looked at you that way.
Didn't you ever ask yourself
why someone with her success, beauty and education
would be interested in you?
All the time.
Face it, you and Bianca were together because of cancer.
Not just any cancer,
stage four, terminal cancer.
I have to get back to my rounds. It was nice to meet you, Frank.
Uh, excuse me. Can you tell me where oncology is?
Next.
You know why you're here?
Buy a gun.
For what purpose?
Purpose? Scare my fucking brother,
who's being a complete and total douche bag.
Wrong answer, son. Next!
-Yes? -Hi.
I need to buy a gun for protection.
In case there's a shooting here. I'm scared.
-Then let me soothe your nerves. -Wow.
You, my friend, look like a Glock 17 kind of guy.
And for a mere $300, all this can be yours.
Can you teach me how to use it?
Oh, we're not in the training business.
-That's what the Internet's for. -(BELL RINGING)
Okay, here.
All right. Be safe. Walk tall.
BOY 1: That's Carl, he used to be white.
BOY 2: Don't fuck with him.
BOY 3: I heard he ate a kid's toe in juvie.
Two chicken parms for the sexiest paramedics in Chicago.
There's three tables in Olga's section that need to be bussed.
Yeah, I can see that. I'm not blind.
Who ordered the Ativan?
What if I can't make her get an abortion, V?
Then slip her three of these Ativan and do it yourself.
I could just buy one of those RUD40s and crush it up in her soup.
-Fi! -I'm serious.
You can't go behind her back and give her an abortion.
Stop pacing. You're making me dizzy.
Why not? She snuck behind my back and got herself knocked up.
Debbie's a smart girl.
Give her some time to process everything, she'll come around.
What if she doesn't?
This Ativan is not working.
It was a little old.
-Jesus. -Sorry. Short notice.
I could just push her down the stairs.
Stop smiling. No one loves school.
It's not all coloring and glue like you remember.
(BELL RINGING)
Hey, girl. I'm Carl. What's your name?
You don't want to tell me. That's all right.
I'll just call you "my angel."
WOMAN: All right, settle down.
Settle down, people. Settle down. Turn to page 17 in your biology books.
See you in my dreams, Angel.
Who the hell are you?
He's with me.
He doesn't belong here.
-'Cause he's black? -No, because he looks 35.
He's an old soul.
Page 17. Who wants to tell me about mitosis?
-Hi. -Hello.
I'm part of the cancer counseling staff.
The what?
I travel around the ward, tending to people's needs.
Oh, I didn't know the hospital offered that.
It's a new thing. Do you mind if I ask what kind of cancer you have?
Skin.
And what stage are you?
Two.
So you'll probably beat that?
-It's what they say. -Hmm.
Well, that's a drag.
Excuse me?
Fuck me.
Breast, curable.
Colon, curable-ish.
Testicular. No dudes, no dudes.
Come on, Daddy needs a pancreatic...
DOCTOR: I'm so sorry, Hilary, um, why don't you take a seat,
and I'll have a social worker come by and talk to you about hospice.
-Hey, Yolanda. Hi, Bonnie. -Hi, Debbie.
Hi, Ramon.
How are things?
Not good. Pissed at my mom. She wouldn't babysit Ramon this weekend
so I could go to the mall.
That sucks.
Yeah, it's her stupid grandson. I don't know why she has to be so selfish.
Do you guys think it's hard to go to school
and have a baby at the same time?
Totally. I can't wait till I'm16 so I can quit.
Three more years.
My baby keeps me up all the time.
None of my Forever 21 clothes fit me anymore.
My boyfriend ignores me.
My vagina is so big now.
Gotta go. My mom's here. I have an orthodontist appointment.
Hey, Debs!
Bye, Bonnie.
Hey.
What are you doing here?
LIP: I came to pick you up from school.
Since when?
Since I borrowed my professor's car.
Is that a bag of flour?
Pretend baby. Your niece.
Okay.
So, you wanna get going? Or...
Where to?
Take you anywhere you like.
Really? You have no place in mind?
Like where?
I don't know. Maybe the clinic?
Oh.
-Fiona send you? -Yeah.
You gonna try to talk me into getting rid of my baby?
Yeah, that was the plan.
-Nice try. -Mmm-hmm.
I had a whole speech...
You know, about not wanting you to be the girl at Costco,
three kids hanging off your shopping cart,
fistful of food stamps, 50 pounds heavier.
You know, desperate just to find somebody to take care of you.
Good one.
I just want what's best for you, Debs.
Well, looks like you borrowed the car for nothing.
I could still give you a ride home.
It's okay.
-You sure? -Yeah,
I wanna call Derek. Talk to him in private.
No, I mean, you sure about not going to the clinic?
Bye, Lip.
(LINE BEEPING)
WOMAN: We're sorry, you've reached a number that has been disconnected
or is no longer in service.
What?
We're sorry, you've reached a number that has been disconnected
or is no longer in service.
Please check the number and dial again.
Okay, I think this schedule accommodates everyone's requests.
(SIGHS)
What are you guys doing?
Sorry, Ms. Fiona. Ian said it was okay.
You're just gonna sit there?
I can't take a break?
Did you pay for that pie?
Did you clock out when you were smoking with V?
I'm the assistant manager.
You keep reminding us.
What's with the attitude?
Look, you're on my ass 24/7.
At home. "Did you take your meds?" At work. "You're late. Pick up the pace."
How about some gratitude for the job I got you?
Gratitude for what?
Sloshing through fry muck all day? Having people snap their fingers at me?
Listening to my bitchy sister boss me around?
If you don't like it, leave.
-Fine. -Fine.
-I will. -Fine.
I don't need this shit.
Really?
You're just gonna leave like that? Good!
-Good! -Go!
Nice one, boss. Nothing cuntier than firing a relative.
-What? -This job sucks!
-Yeah. -Everyone's being a dick.
And they think I'm a bitch.
-Is this about Debbie? -No, it's not about...
I don't know. Maybe it is, okay?
It's everyone. It's Melinda and Adam and Olga and Ian.
I just fired Ian. Or maybe he quit. I don't know.
-Good. -What?
I'm sorry, Fiona, I know he's your brother,
but he's an awful busboy.
I don't know that I can handle all this responsibility.
You are in and out of here all day long, going to a million meetings,
leaving me alone to deal with everything.
I shot up.
What?
When I was cleaning out Otis' locker,
I found a bag of china white and his hype kit.
And, uh...
Yeah.
You're just telling me this now?
Well, you had a lot on your mind.
(SIGHS)
Shit.
I didn't think this was a thing. You're sober.
It's always a thing.
So now I gotta add this to my list of crap to worry about?
No, you don't have to worry about this at all.
-Of course, I have to worry. -No, this is my thing.
I've got it handled.
Handled? You found a bag of smack and you shot up. That's handled?
You know how many bags of smack I've found I didn't shoot up?
Then why this time?
Because I'm an addict.
So, you gonna do it again?
I don't know.
Why do you think I've been going to all those meetings all day?
My God.
I'm in love with a heroin addict.
You've always been in love with a heroin addict.
But you weren't using.
Didn't make me any less of a heroin addict.
When did this happen?
Last night.
We were together last night.
Yes.
Will you promise not to do it again?
That's not how this disease works. You know that.
You've been to enough meetings.
I went to them because the court ordered it.
I wasn't paying attention. Half the time, I was flirting with you.
I understand if you're angry and you don't wanna be with me anymore,
but I hope that's not the case.
-Hey, Fiona. -What?
Bitchy much?
There's some nurse here to do your drug test.
Fuck.
Yeah, hey, I gotta go. I can't be here, in case she wants to test me, too.
Can we talk about this later? Please?
(SINGING CHEAP TRICK'S I WANT YOU TO WANT ME)
(CROWD WHOOPING)
Svetlana, my friend Kermit over here is gonna sing Stroke Me.
Okay, I program into karaoke machine, you cock-head.
(SPEAKERS TURN OFF)
Hey, come on. The fuck...
Since when do we have a karaoke machine?
Since half hour ago.
These beardos pay $5 a song to listen to old flea-bags sing rock and roll music.
-Damn. -I acquire barber chair in morning.
Barber's chair?
These clove-cigarette-smelling dick-holes, they like the straight-razor shave.
I charge $30.
Here's to the shittiest bar in the South Side!
(ALL CHEERING)
(YELLING IN RUSSIAN)
(SINGING BILLY SQUIER'S THE STROKE)
-Where is he? -Debbie?
Where's Derek?
Mom told you he moved to Florida.
Did they make him change his cell phone number, too?
I just tried to call him.
I'll tell him you were asking about him next time me and him talk.
Well, what's his new number?
I'm at work.
-Why are you guys doing this to us? -It's for the best.
Well, you had a baby and they loved you.
Okay. Just give me a minute, okay?
Let's go back here.
Debbie, Derek's parents were protecting you from the truth.
What?
Derek was the one who wanted to move to Florida.
-You're lying. -He doesn't wanna have a baby.
Yes, he does. We were picking out names.
You scared him.
He wants to go to the Air Force Academy, Derek wants to be a pilot.
He wants to be a pilot?
Yeah. He's wanted to since he was a kid.
But you didn't know that, did you?
Because you never asked him about himself. You only cared about the baby.
Guys wanna feel supported. Not trapped.
I didn't mean to trap him.
I'm sorry, Debbie, but I have to go back to work.
Excuse me.
What?
You're taking up two handicap seats.
Sorry.
Shit, that's my stop!
No! My baby's on that train! My flour baby! Desiree!
You did all that for her?
I did.
And you'd do those things for me?
Every single one of them, and then some, if you wanted.
Whatever's on your list. Think of me as your Cancer Concierge.
But why?
With Bianca, it was because I loved her.
Wish it was the same with you.
But who knows? Maybe, over time...
I'd like to say I was being selfless and I just want to make you feel better,
but I've never been a selfless man.
No one really is.
Truth of the matter is, I just need to get Bianca out of my system.
And by having sex on the train tracks, that'll do it?
One can only hope.
I'm embarrassed to say that I haven't been touched in over 15 years.
You let me worry about that.
Just hold that up to your pretty lips.
Inhale.
Slowly, slowly. Good.
Good.
Hold it in your lungs.
Pretty soon,
you'll feel the crack coursing through your veins
and all your troubles will just...
(LAUGHING)
What'd I tell ya?
Hilary?
Hilary, you okay?
You can exhale now.
Hilary?
Hey.
Hilary?
Oh, shit. Uh...
Hey, are you at the clinic?
LIP: Couldn't convince her.
Are you kidding me?
No, she's got her mind set.
Well, we gotta unset it.
(SIGHS) Meet me back at the house. We'll go at her together.
Okay.
You're all good.
Great, thanks.
I'll just make a note of your preexisting condition.
Preexisting condition?
The pregnancy.
My sister's pregnancy?
Your sister? No, you.
What?
You didn't know you were pregnant?
What?
Congratulations. I hope it's good news.
Take care, now.
(SIGHS)
Debbie?
Where are you?
-I have something to tell you-- -Knock first!
-What are you doing? -None of your business.
Let's go to the clinic right now, together.
They don't close for another half hour.
Oh, my God. How many times do I have to tell you?
I am not killing my baby!
Why are you doing this to me?
To you?
Why does everything always have to be about you?
Because I'm finally almost free from raising you kids,
and I don't intend to do it again.
Nobody's asking you to.
Of course you are!
There's absolutely no way in hell
that you're going to be able to raise a baby,
and I am going to get stuck doing it!
Don't worry, I would never let you near my baby.
I don't want you fucking it up like you fucked us up!
-I'm going to Florida. -Florida?
-What are you talking about? -Let go of me!
Fuck!
You don't even know where Derek is! Florida is eight million miles long!
Too bad, Fiona! I'll find him!
He wants to be a pilot and I'm going to support him.
He doesn't love you!
Yes, he does.
You are not going to Florida.
Ow!
Get off me! You're hurting me!
You are going to that clinic! Stop it!
You are going to that clinic!
My sister's trying to force me to get an abortion!
Fiona! Get off her.
No! We are going to that fucking clinic!
(ALL PANTING)
Fucking Gallaghers.
(MOTOR CYCLE ENGINE REVVING)
(BABIES CRYING)
Piece of shit, Yanis. Woke up the babies again!
Okay, come on, sweetie. It's okay.
-I'm taking care of this once and for all. -How?
I'm gonna cut his throttle cable when he goes back inside.
-I'll be right back. -Okay. All right.
(DOOR OPENING)
SEAN: Hey.
Can I come in?
Uh-huh.
I had a long meeting.
Sorry I'm so late.
It's okay.
Look, I can't promise I won't do it again, but what I can promise is that I won't--
You need to shut up now.
Here's what's gonna happen.
You're gonna shut off your brain
and breathe into your body.
-Hmm. -Close your eyes.
Relax
and let me do all the work.
(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)
-(MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING) -What the fuck?
I thought you cut the throttle cable.
I did.
I don't know how he's riding without the throttle cable.
Are you sure you cut the right cable?
Yes! There's only two cables. The throttle cable and...
(YELLING)
(CONTINUES YELLING)
The brake cable.
Uh-oh.
Be gone, spirit of Bianca. s. The throttle cable and...