(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
Speak fucking English!
-What's on his face? -Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
He got into my coke.
(DOOR BUZZING)
-Gallagher. -How is he?
-He's alive, could have brain damage. -Please tell him that I love him.
-And I'm so, so sorry. -It wasn't Fiona's fault.
Nobody saw Liam. You know that, right?
(SOBBING) Liam's in the hospital. He almost died. -LIP: Where were you last night?
-DEBS: Matt's. -V: Who's Matt?
Oh, you're Matt? The Matt? How fucking old are you?
Gotta find Frank or they're gonna put Liam in foster care.
Shit.
-Frank. -We almost lost you.
Nope. Not ready to punch my ticket yet.
Gallagher. You made bail.
We're just looking for our brother, Ian Gallagher.
He's at work. The White Swallow in Boystown.
Some Army MPs came by looking for you. They want to arrest you for going AWOL.
That's hilarious.
(ALL COOING)
-Look at you. -Hey, buddy.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
(LIAM LAUGHING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Can you do this?
-Fiona coming down for breakfast? -She's not up yet.
(PLAYFUL GASP) Here's your Tang, Liam. Here you go, baby.
Here. Make sure he drinks the whole thing.
-He needs his electrolytes. -Okay.
That's right. Nothing goes in your mouth unless we give it to you, buddy.
-Okay. -What's that smell?
Guess. Frank, stop smoking weed!
Carl, get Liam away from the stairs.
I'll take Liam to school today, grab some dinner while I'm there.
What about Coq au Vin? Sheila made it.
I hope you remember it. It's probably the last time you're gonna have it.
We could order a pizza. Fiona let us do that.
It's too expensive. We're back to generics from Food 4 Less and dumpster diving.
I could buy a few groceries.
Yeah, that'd be nice since we have two extra mouths to feed.
Why don't you tell Frank to lay off the weed?
-He's very sick. Worse than ever. -Well, we're very out on our asses...
...if the social worker makes a visit and the place smells like Snoop Dogg.
The only reason we're letting you stay is to take care of Frank.
-I don't think you guys understand. -Oh, understand?
We've lived with that asshole our whole lives.
-Now you're trying to play big sis? -You're lucky we don't bounce you.
-Yeah. -So if we say no more weed....
-We mean no more weed. -Okay. Fine.
Good. Now listen, everybody remember when the social worker does show up...
-This includes you too, so listen up. -...you text me immediately.
-Okay? I'll hop on the L. -What about Fiona?
Got her covered. I need you to stall the social worker till I get back.
-Are we understood? -Yeah.
-Yes? -Yes.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
That's my ride. Gotta stop by Sheila's to water her plants.
-Debs. -And I won't be home for dinner.
-Why? Where you going? -Friend's.
Hey, Sammi. Listen.
We've been dumped into foster care way too many times...
...because of that prick upstairs.
There's no way I'm letting it happen again.
Here you go.
-Hi. -Morning.
-Hey, can I get a ride?
Your ride's over there.
There you go.
-Stop, Kevin. -Oh, come on, V.
-No. Too bloated and constipated. -I'll fuck it loose for you.
Ew!
I don't mean in the butt.
-Morning sex keeps you regular. -I'm not in the mood.
You're never in the mood.
That's because Huey, Dewey and Louie are taking up all the room down there.
Are we ever gonna have sex again before they come out?
Probably not. I don't know how women say they get horny when they're pregnant.
-All right, well, jack me off, then. -Jack yourself off.
Fine, but give me something to look at. Peek at a titty?
Mm-mm.
Everything is hairy and gross.
Since when? You're never hairy.
Leave me alone. From hormones.
I've got hair growing everywhere and mucus coming out of me for days.
Fine, I'm gonna go jack myself off in the bathroom...
...but I don't think it's gonna work thinking about all your mucus.
-I need to borrow your truck today. -KEVIN: What for?
I gotta take Fiona to the courthouse for her prelim...
...and then I have a Dr. Ma appointment.
KEVIN: Oh, shit, no. Dr. Ma?
I gotta go with you. I can't miss an ultrasound.
I love watching those dudes grow, but I got to work today.
Yeah, well, you'll go next week.
All right. Bring me those pictures, okay?
-You finish already? -Mm.
Know thyself.
Hey, what the--? Can I take a shit in private, please?
-Go find your boyfriend. -Close the door.
I looked for him yesterday and he's not answering my texts.
-What the fuck you talking about? -Don't play dumb with me. Ian.
You know you're the reason that he left.
So go find him. I got to go to work.
-Not my fucking problem. -You know what?
Nothing's ever your problem.
For once, you know, make something your problem.
The fuck does a squirrel have to do with waffles anyway?
(DOOR SLAMS CLOSED)
Fuck. Mandy!
(SIGHS)
-(GURGLES) -(GROANS)
LIP: Okay, buddy, we're gonna leave the house, so we need your hat and diapers.
Hey.
Hi, peanut. Hey.
It's okay. Come here. Come here, come here, come here.
How are you? How you feeling?
Are you okay?
Yeah?
I am so sorry.
I would never do anything to hurt you.
I would never do anything to hurt this face. This face.
Hey, Liam, come on, we're gonna be late. Come on, bud.
-Where you going? -School.
-With Liam? -Yeah.
Well, I was gonna go meet with my lawyer, but I was gonna take Liam with me.
No, thanks. Come on.
-Lip, it was an accident. -Here you are.
I'm gonna put your coat on downstairs. Is that okay?
Yeah? Yeah?
Sort your shit out.
That Gallagher kid's sister gave his baby brother cocaine.
Dude, I bet he's retarded now from it, huh?
Totally.
-♪ Cocaine baby brother ♪ -♪ Cocaine baby brother ♪
-♪ Retarded little Gallagher ♪ -♪ Retarded little Gallagher ♪
-♪ Cocaine baby brother ♪ -♪ Cocaine baby brother ♪
BOTH: Cocaine baby brother.
Oh, come on. Are you fucking kidding me?
When's this thing gonna be done?
Yeah, sure. It's not your business you're camped out in front of.
Unbelievable someone pays you for hole standing.
How do I get a job like that?
Seriously? This is what you're doing? You're just staring at that one guy working?
Hey, buddy, when you're done with work, come on in for a beer.
But just you. Not them. Enjoy your coffee.
Fucking hole standers.
-MAN: Where's the keg? -A little early to be drinking, isn't it?
-Shit. -Where's the keg?
What kind of keg you looking for? We've got Old Style, Schlitz, Michelob.
Not a keg of beer, asshole. The keg with money.
No idea what you're talking about.
(GUNFIRE)
That's my fucking keg! That's my money, bitches!
That's my money! Bitches, that's my fucking money!
Even now you're just gonna stand there and do nothing?
Those fucking kids robbed me!
Could you at least help me get the duct tape off?
Ahh! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Dorm.
Yeah, and what's in a dorm?
-Hipsters. -Hipsters, very good.
Very good. All right, come on. Going up. Whoo-hoo-hoo! There you go.
-Jesus. -Shit, sorry. Sorry.
You know, it's not like it's my room or anything.
-Okay, fine. I'm dressed. -All right.
Come here, buddy.
-Who's this? -Liam, he's my kid brother.
-Hi, Liam. -You know, I'm just grabbing a book.
We're gonna get out of here. I'm sure you have some kind of a sorority...
...cheerleader, Mensa, vagina meeting or something.
Hey, Liam, do you like clementines?
-No. -It's okay, buddy. Go ahead.
(AMANDA LAUGHS)
It's not a ball. It's food. Here.
It's good.
You?
No, but if you're cracking open that Toblerone.
-Thanks. -My parents...
...send me this care-package crap once a week.
Yeah, my parents, they send me a care package too.
Seriously, take anything you want.
-Or if you have a request...? -What?
Yeah, Kuzner was getting backne, so I told my dad that I needed Accutane.
Sent me a six-month 'script. Never knew it wasn't for me.
-Wow, he a doctor or something? -No. Just connected. Miami.
-Is that where you're from? -After all these months, huh?
-Sorry. -Hey...
...I could watch Liam for you, if you wanted.
-Like, while you're in class. -No, that's okay.
I don't have anything till 5:00.
Yeah, no, we just went through some pretty serious shit at home.
So I'm being kind of protective of him right now.
I'll send you a text picture every 30 minutes.
Yeah, well, call me if there's a problem.
Yeah, don't worry. Everything will be fine.
Hey, Amanda's gonna watch you for a few hours.
-Is that okay, buddy? -Okay.
-Okay.
Hi, Pops. Poppy?
Daddy? Still trying to figure out what to call you.
Working on that blog again, huh?
Five chapters. Oh, my God, what's that smell?
-Burger King. I got you a Whopper-- -Get it out.
-Oh, my goodness, I'm sorry.
(VOMITING)
SAMMI: Ohh...
-Oh, God. -The smell did it, huh?
You need more proof than this?
Let's get you off these stinky sheets. Time to change them anyway.
-Be careful. My papers. -Okay, okay.
(GROANING)
I'm cold. Give me my pipe.
Pops, Debbie and Lip asked me not to let you light up in the house anymore.
Had a little run-in with them this morning. Don't think they like me very much.
Well, screw them.
I'll light up any time I want.
I'll blow smoke in their eyes until they cry if I feel like it.
Lip said the social worker's gonna show up unannounced.
Yeah, well the social worker can bite my ball bag.
I'm not the one who let Liam get into a pile of coke.
-You know that was an accident. -Oh, come on, what are you doing?
-We have to be on our best behavior. -I'm in pain.
They could end up in foster care. Don't you want to keep this family together?
They're poisoning you. That's what's going on.
You'll turn against me. You mark my words.
How can you say that? Take it back.
Fuck you.
I would never, ever turn against you.
Yeah? Well, then prove it. Give me my pipe.
How about I give you your next Oxy instead, huh?
(PILLS RATTLING)
That's a good idea.
Now you're thinking.
-You'll be fine. It's just a formality. -Bathroom line took forever.
There's a guy out there who's here because he threw bleach on his baby's mama.
CLERK: On Your Honor's preliminary hearing calendar, calling case S6-974356.
State of Illinois v. Fiona Gallagher.
Craig Jeffreys on behalf of the state.
Maria Vidal on behalf of Fiona Gallagher who's on my left.
Good morning. Miss Gallagher, at your arraignment...
...you entered a plea of not guilty. Is that your plea?
Absolutely, Your Honor.
-Where does the government stand? -We have enough evidence to proceed...
-...with possession and child endangerment. -Child endangerment?
Mr. Jeffreys, what evidence have you submitted?
The police report from the arresting officer which includes an admission of guilt.
The cocaine removed from the face of victim...
...and a toxicology report indicating the levels of the drug in the child's system.
We'll be asking for a minimum of five years in state prison.
What?
It is our hope, Your Honor...
...that the court will take into consideration this is my client's first offense...
...and that the state granted her guardianship of her five siblings last year.
Ms. Vidal, I'd urge you and the ADA to discuss this matter outside of my court room.
Work something out. Come back with a plea bargain.
-Yes, Your Honor. -ATTORNEY: Yes, Your Honor.
-You're dismissed. -What's going on?
Good news. Come.
Where's Mickey?
No, please don't answer. God forbid you do something meaningful.
You should work for the city.
-You have qualities they're looking for. -Hey. What are you doing here?
I need a gun.
Who you gonna kill?
-You wearing cologne? -No, it's Kenyatta's perfumed soap shit.
-You use another dude's soap? -So what?
-It's got pubes on it. -No, it doesn't.
-What guy doesn't have pubes on his soap? -My soap doesn't.
-You're not washing your pubes. -You came to talk about my pubes?
Just give me a gun.
You own a bar on the South Side. How do you not have a gun?
-Not everyone's a thug. -What you need it for anyway?
Alibi got robbed. They stole the keg that I keep the money in.
-Wait, the rub and tug money? -It's the only money I'm pulling in, yeah.
-You keep that in a keg? -I don't trust the banks.
-Kev, that's my money. -No, it's my money...
...with 30 percent going to you.
30 per-- Who came up with that? We're fifty-fifty.
-Bullshit fifty-fifty. It's my bar. -My whores.
Well, get your ass down there. You're supposed to be providing security.
-Not for 30 percent I'm not. -What's going on?
Steven Seagal here let somebody steal cash.
It's because your pube-loving husband wasn't doing his job.
-SVETLANA: Hey, where are you going? -I gotta take care of something important.
I'll be at the bar to protect your 7-foot ass as soon as I can.
No, we cannot work. It is dangerous.
It's not dangerous. It's not gonna get robbed twice in a day.
If it does, can you please shoot them in the fucking face this time?
Hey.
You know how to use this thing?
Of course I know how to use it.
Oh, my God.
(MUTTERING IN RUSSIAN)
-Thanks very much. Appreciate it. -Thank you.
What did he say?
At this point, all our conversations need to be privileged.
-What? -I need to talk to Fiona alone.
I have a doctor's appointment anyway. You gonna be okay?
-I'll talk to you later. -Okay.
Walk with me. I've got to be at Cook County in 20 minutes.
I asked Mr. Jeffreys if he'd agree to three years' probation.
-That'd be great. -No promises, but it is possible.
You'd have to plead guilty. It means you'll have a criminal record.
-But no jail time? -Very little, if any.
-How very little? -Sixty days? Ninety tops.
Wait. So I get probation, but I still have to go to jail for three months?
It's only for a fraction of the time they're asking for.
I can't go back to jail.
Why don't we just wait and see what he proposes?
-Can we go to trial? -Fiona, I do this every day.
I'm telling you, we have a great argument for probation.
You're a first-time offender and you called the paramedics.
DA doesn't want you clogging up the jail, or in this case, gumming up the system...
...taking them away from real criminal cases.
But what happened with Liam was horrific. A jury's gonna hate you.
I can negotiate the hell out of this.
I don't want to go to jail at all.
Well, we don't get everything we want.
And a good negotiation is when both sides feel like they got screwed.
PROFESSOR: The third law of thermodynamics, simply stated, is:
"The entropy of a perfect crystal at absolute zero...
-...is exactly equal to zero." -(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
Now, from our earlier discussions, we know that entropy is a measure of what?
-ALL: Disorder. -And the crystal is a solid...
...whose atoms or molecules or ions are arranged...
-...in what kind of pattern? -ALL: Ordered.
Very good. We'll pick this up tomorrow.
Don't forget. Assignments e-mailed to me by 5 p.m. this evening.
Hey, Professor Sacco.
I'm sorry. I don't think I'm gonna be able to get my assignment in tonight.
-I had a bit of a family crisis. -Well, when do you think you'll have it?
Tomorrow.
Every day it's late, I'm docking you half a grade, comprende?
Yes, comprende. Thank you.
What's chicken cordon bleu?
Nothing you can make in Matty's kitchen.
-What should I make him for dinner? -When did you get back together?
-He helped when Fiona got arrested. -Good thing I didn't hit on him.
I was totally gonna.
This algebra crap is ridic.
Who gives a shit about math? When am I gonna use it?
-Probably all the time. -Let me just copy yours.
-How about spaghetti and meatballs? -Anything with balls is good.
-Okay. -Hey.
-Hi. -Where the hell have you been?
Gary broke up with me because his parents don't want a baby...
...so I cut myself.
-What? -Then my mother found out.
-That you cut yourself? -No, that Gary broke up with me.
So she dragged me to his house this morning, but he was still asleep...
...so my mom and his mom got into this huge fight.
Then the cops came and that's how come I'm late for school.
-But why'd you cut yourself? -Yeah, that was stupid.
The one time a guy dumped me, I just made myself puke.
-Think Gary will get back together with you? -Said he'd think about it.
Have a family emergency. That'll make him come back. Worked with Matty.
Okay, like what?
-Tell him your dog got sick. -Or that you got molested.
That's a good one.
Good afternoon, sorry about the wait.
Had to throw a stitch into a patient's cervix before her critter slipped out too early.
-Yikes. -But we're all good.
And it's time to look at your little critters.
-Okay. What, no Kev? -Work.
Mm. And how have you been feeling lately?
Bloated and fat.
-Something wrong? -Well, I have the two...
...but I can't seem to find the other.
Let's see. Sometimes they hide.
Yeah, well, check behind my bladder because I've been peeing 50 times a day.
Where are you?
Well, I think we might have a fetal resorption.
-What the hell is that? -It happens in multiples.
When the fetus isn't strong enough to survive, the others sometimes absorb it.
Absorb it? As in eat it?
Not exactly, but yes.
One of my babies is gone?
But the other two look very healthy.
Is it something that I did?
Nope, just Mother Nature's way of selecting out the weaker baby.
MAN: Looking fine.
-Fuck off. -I like them rough.
I'm Scott. You want to get out of here?
No, I don't want to-- You seen this kid?
Oh, you like them skinny. I could lose 30 pounds if you wanted.
Thirty poun-- Maybe in your ass, man. Where's the manager?
-Yo, you the manager? -Who's asking?
Since you just saw me speak, I'm gonna take a stab it was me.
-You seen this kid? His name is Ian. -Never saw him before.
Why don't you take a look again? He used to work here so I'm pretty sure you have.
I can't keep track of every twink who comes and goes in this place.
Okay, this twink went AWOL a couple days ago after your bouncer...
...kicked his brother and kid sister out, you remember that?
Look, tweaker, you think you're the first one...
...boo-hooing about some cocktail slut who jacked you off in the bathroom...
...told you it was true love and then disappeared? Trust me, you're not.
So why don't you buy a drink and fall in love with somebody else.
-You calling me gay? -Oh, please, honey...
...you make Justin Bieber look straight.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Now, I know you know where he is, dick breath.
So you're gonna tell me or I'm gonna shut this hole down...
...over possession, intent to sell and prostitution, okay?
He's at our other location, Fairy Tail, in Boystown.
Thank you.
That so difficult?
Yo, anybody coming?
No, but hurry up, man. Apurate.
-Come on. Hurry. -All right.
Frozen burger patties look good.
Gringo, how you gonna get out with all that stuff and not get caught?
I'm not going out the front. Okay, take the trash out...
...put this on top of the dumpster, and I'll grab it on my way home.
You're not as dumb as you look, you know that?
-That's good. You got that? -Got it, got it.
-All right. -See you later, gringo.
Hey.
How you doing?
Do you know how many Tumblr drinking blogs there are out there?
I could write a better one than these douche bags.
Wait, so your mother was dating two different guys...
...while your father was in prison?
That we knew of.
"Smoking a coke-laced bowl of weed is the best high ever"?
-Amateurs. -Wasn't she afraid he'd find out?
FRANK: He did. Got an early release.
Walked in on her screwing Vavoo.
Some busboy she brought home from the restaurant.
Oh, my God. What did he do?
Vavoo? He crapped himself.
(SAMANTHA LAUGHS)
-My father did what he always did. Beat on me. -Why you?
It was my fault. It was always my fault.
My mom got away scot free. I got a whooping. Said I should've been keeping her in line.
What about Uncle Clayton and Wyatt and Jerry?
They were his favorites. Why do you care so much?
Just want us to get closer since we have limited time.
Limited ti-- We do not have limited time. Jesus.
What's the matter with you?
-Jesus. -Isn't this why you were writing your memoirs?
I am not writing my memoirs.
This is my gift to humankind.
This is my trade book.
People will pay good money for my knowledge.
-You're right. You're right. -Why are you listening to the doctors?
They don't know what the fuck they're talking about. We have--
We have-- we have all-- Fuck. Fuck!
-Breathe, breathe. Okay? Breathe. -Dear God. Shit.
-Breathe, breathe. -Oh, God, it hurts.
Hey, hey. I didn't mean to upset you. We have all the time in the world, okay?
-I told you. You're just like the rest of my kids. -No, I'm not. Please.
I take it back. Okay? I take it back.
-We don't have limited time. Okay. -You're goddamn right we don't.
Okay. Come on, come on.
Come here. Here.
No.
I need a nap.
What, are you mad at me now?
Look, I promise. I'll never say it again.
SAMANTHA: I have a present for you.
I was saving it until you got really sick.
I could give it to you now.
Is that what I think it is?
Did I do good?
Help-- Help me sit up.
Oh, fuck.
-Oh, God. -Okay, okay, okay.
I'm gonna go get Chuckie. Be back lickety-split.
Take your time.
All right, listen up.
Bar got robbed this morning.
Yeah, what'd they take? The cocktail napkins?
(LAUGHTER)
Six hundred dollars, for your information.
So who stole it?
I give up. Who?
No, not "who stole it" like guess who stole it.
Who stole it like which one of you fuckers stole my money?
-Why you think we stole your money? -You knew where I hid it.
-Where? -In the damn keg.
Ooh! We do now.
I said…
…who stole my money?
(GUNS COCKING)
What, everyone has a gun?
Bible says we have the right to bear arms.
-So I bear arms. -It's the Constitution.
-No shit? -Well, I'm keeping my eye on all of you.
Huh.
Where should I put the money now, Mr. Kevin, if there's no keg?
Give it to me.
I'm gonna put it where no one dares to touch.
From now on, we trust no one, Paco. No one.
-Hey, babe. -Hey, baby, how was the appointment?
Well, we're down to two babies.
No. What happened?
Huey ate Dewey.
Are you kidding me?
No, doc says it happens all the time with multiples.
If one's not strong enough, they just go away, poof.
-Are the other two okay? -Yeah.
(SIGHS) I don't know how to feel about this.
I know. Me either.
It's a bit of a relief, right?
Sort of.
I was getting used to the idea of having four babies.
-Yeah, me too. -Probably a bad time to tell her...
-...the place got robbed, huh? -What?
Tommy, shut up. V, don't worry.
No one's taking any more shit from me.
My babies. My money.
I'm batting down the hatches.
-I'm putting a force field around us now. -Babe?
Taking care of what's mine. Come here.
Get in my force field.
Hey, man. What's up?
What the hell do you want?
Heard you talking about my brother Liam on the bus.
You mean your retarded brother?
Yeah. He wants you to meet two of his friends.
-Your retarded brother has friends? -Yeah. Meet Mongo...
...and Loid.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Fuck.
I think you broke my nose.
-Sucks for you. -Your brother's still gonna be retarded.
Can't ice a damaged brain, Gallagher.
Schmuck.
-Hello? -Hey.
Hi.
What are you doing here?
Making spaghetti and meatballs. Looked it up online. It's really not that hard.
-How'd you get in? -Your super.
She unlocked my apartment for you?
Nope. Told me where you kept the spare key.
Okay. Why would she do that?
I told her it was our anniversary, and I wanted to surprise you.
-Huh? -We've been dating a month today.
It's okay if you don't remember. You can make it up to me on our two-month anniversary.
Okay, Debbie, we need to talk.
Can you fix Ellie up with someone? Her boyfriend dumped her.
-Is she the pregnant one? -Mm-hm.
I'm-- I thought we said we weren't gonna date anymore.
We did?
Yeah, that time you came over. You wanted to have sex.
I wasn't clear about what happened.
Okay.
We can't be boyfriend and girlfriend.
But you were there for me.
With Liam and Fiona.
Yeah, that's what friends do.
Friends?
Look, Deb, I really like you.
-We just can't-- -Then why are you breaking up with me?
Because you're too young.
I should've lied about my age.
I mean, we can try again when you're older, but....
How much older?
Sixteen? I don't know.
What's wrong with me?
Nothing. Deb, you're perfect.
You just-- You gotta date guys your own age.
I should probably date girls my own age.
Dinner smells good.
I wanna go home.
(MAN TALKING ON TV)
-Hey. -Hey, what's for dinner?
Take Liam upstairs. I'll get it ready, okay?
-Kids at school said he's retarded. -Fuck them. He's not retarded.
Go clean up. Clean up.
(LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
Time's up, love birds.
Get up.
That means get the fuck up. It's my turn.
I'll look for you later, Curtis.
Curtis?
-Fucking stage name? -Twenty-five bucks gets you a dance.
-Excuse me? -Don't want a dance, gotta move on.
Okay, all right.
Twenty-five bucks for your ass, huh?
Never had to pay for that shit before.
So how's your day going so far?
How's my fucking day going?
Having fun?
No, I'm not having fun. I spent the whole day looking for your coked-out ass.
Your family's worried about you.
Hello? What the fuck? I can't talk to you like this. Can we go outside?
These fudge packers got so much snow up your beak, you're tweaking like a bitch.
Twenty-five bucks only buys you one dance.
Okay. Then let's go back to my place. You can sober up a little bit.
Catch up or some shit. Tell me where you've been all this time.
That was fun.
-Find me if you want another one. -Are you fucking kidding me?
Hey, hey.
Look, you don't wanna hang out with me, that's fine.
You need to call your family.
Your dad's dying, and Fiona almost killed Liam.
Call them.
Is everything okay here, Curtis?
-Everything's great, Roger. -Good.
Because a guy over there looks like he may want a dance.
-I'm on it. -Thank you.
Yeah, okay. Don't choke on any gray pubes.
Relax, Shaft. I'm leaving.
Are you retarded now?
I hope you're sleeping and not in a retarded haze.
Hi.
What was jail like?
You get any tattoos?
It was claustrophobic.
It was lonely, sad.
They try to shave your head?
You can't tell this is a wig?
They treat you like cattle.
No one cares about you.
Anyone get stabbed?
Probably if I was there longer. You can't piss or shit in private.
The worst part was...
...not knowing when I'd see you guys again.
Don't end up there.
Smells good.
Yep.
Where'd you get all this stuff?
School.
Thanks.
So I....
-I had my prelim hearing. -Oh, yeah?
Yeah, my lawyer's gonna try to get me probation if I plead guilty.
Okay.
Might have to serve a little time, though.
Yeah, how long?
Ninety days.
Or less.
All right.
Suppose we'll manage.
Or I could go to trial.
Why would you wanna do that?
Why wouldn't I do that?
Because you'll get convicted.
-You don't know that. -Yes, I do.
-I made a mistake. -You're guilty.
-It was an accident. -You almost killed Liam.
I know that. You don't think I'm blaming myself enough already, so I need you to do it too?
So how long you in prison if you...? If you lose?
Five years.
So that makes me almost 25.
-Still at home. Taking care of the kids. -I know I can win.
Ghetto chick leaves her drug addict boyfriend's coke out for her 3-year-old brother to eat.
Half a gram in the system. You're right. You can win.
-I didn't do it on purpose. -Yeah, but you did it.
(EXHALES)
I turned my back for, like, two seconds.
And now my life is ruined? How is that fair?
You're his guardian.
You signed up for this.
I can't go back to jail.
-Of course this is all about you. -Yes, it's about me.
Okay? Because it's never about me, and I'm finally making it about me.
So I'm supposed to drop out while you do five years?
-I'm not guilty. -Liam almost died.
And that was you. All fucking you.
Your coke. Your boyfriend. Your fucked up life.
It's not mine.
All right?
Frank's passed out up in the bathroom.
Oh, fuck.
Shit.
Is he shooting heroin now?
Is he dead?
-No, unfortunately not. -Oh, my God.
-Carl, grab his legs. -He shit himself.
All right, use a fucking towel.
I got him. You got him?
-Where are we taking him? -Where we always do. Street.
What's going on?
It smells up here.
Good, you're home. You deal with him.
Daddy?
-What happened? -He's unconscious.
-Must've had too many Oxys. -Save it.
-All right? Just get him out of the house. -What?
I warned you. Now go. Carl, come here. Get rid of any evidence in Frank's room, all right?
-He is too sick to leave the house. -Yeah, no shit.
-You just let him shoot a bunch of H. -He was in pain.
-What if the social worker showed up? -She didn't.
These kids would've been taken away. And what do you care?
You just wanna make nicey nicey with Daddy. You--
You get the fuck out of my house.
Fiona?
You have to go, Sammi.
Pops?
Oh, God.
-You okay? -Yeah. I'm fine.
You know, we can still do stuff together.
-Yeah. Great. Cool. -You know, like, go to the movies.
-Perfect. Sounds fun. -Hang out like friends do.
Talk to you later.
-Yeah. I'll talk to you later. -Bye.
Bye.
SAMANTHA: Don't bang his leg, Chuckie. Okay, one, two, three.
-Smells. -Excuse me.
Debbie, Lip kicked us out.
(SOBS)
-FRANK: I'm sorry. -It's okay, Dad.
-I'm sorry. -Okay, let's power through. Come on.
-I'm so sorry. -One, two....
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Ow!
Holy fuck!
(MUFFLED MUSIC COMING FROM CLUB)
It's so cold.
-Aren't you cold? -No.
-Where's your car? -I took a cab.
Look, you've gotta keep me warm.
-Got any party favors at your place? -Anything you want.
Car will be here in under three minutes.
What should we do till then?
Ow!
Why don't you molest someone your own age, you Geritol fuck?
(GRUNTING)
Fuck.
(GROANING) You're an animal.
-I'm not the one groping under-aged boys. -We're having fun.
Shut the fuck up.
Give Curtis some money before he calls the cops on you.
Okay, here.
-Here, take-- -Good. Good. Thank you.
Now get the fuck out of here. Get out of here.
And learn how to run like a dude.
Jesus Christ, Ian.
Hey. Hey.
DRIVER: You called for an Uber?
Yeah, I called for an Uber.
Okay. Good job, fellas.
Almost there.
-(ALL GRUNTING) -Easy does it, Chuckie.
Let's get him in the chair.
Okay.
There we go.
(ALL PANTING)
Home sweet home.
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa.
God.
We gotta get you out of here.
Good boy, Chuckie.
I didn't know you had it in you, boy.
-Is Sheila gonna be mad at me? -She's out of town.
Now, Dad. Let's get you washed up, huh?
(LIAM LAUGHING)
Fuck it.
All right, last question, Liam.
"Have you ever made friends with an inanimate object, like a lamp or a chair?"
All right, I'm submitting your answers.
Let's see what your score is.
(COMPUTER LAUGHING)
-Good news. You're not retarded. -Now you.
All right. Now....
Let's see. Yes. No.
Yes. No. No. Yes.
No. Yes.
All right.
(COMPUTER LAUGHING)
Stupid fucking computer.
Ow.
(REVOLVER BARREL SPINS)
My dick is, like, three times bigger than this gun.
You took the bullets out, right?
Yes, honey. Heard you loud and clear.
Oh, shit. Look at this fetus being reabsorbed.
Would you stop looking at that? Gonna freak yourself out.
I can't help it.
If I couldn't protect my triplet in utero...
...you better be damn well sure I'm gonna protect my twins in the real world.
Damn, baby, you're starting to turn me on.
-What? -Yeah.
No constipation? Or bloating or mucus?
I still got them. But I'm starting to see...
...what all those horny pregnant women were talking about. Come here.
(MOANS)
Yes. Finally. Thank you.
Thank you.
There we go.
(WATER RUNNING)
Okay.
Feels good.
Warm.
Scrub up.
(SAMMI GASPING)
It's okay. I got you. I got you.
-I got you. I got you. -I almost fell.
-It's okay.
Hold on to the side there, okay? Okay?
Just hang on.
Hang on a second.
I'll be right there.
Now...
...make room for Sammi.
Grab on. I got you.
-No, no, no. -Hey, hey, hey.
I'm not gonna bite. Okay?
Come on. Here.
Come to me. Come on, Dad. Come over here.
There you go.
That's not so bad, is it?
Gonna get you all cleaned up. Okay.
(LAUGHTER)
Ms. Vidal, Mr. Jeffries, I understand you've come up with a deal.
-Yes, we have. -Except for one point.
-We'd like to defer to you. -What have you worked out?
In exchange for a guilty plea of child endangerment and possession...
...the state is willing to offer Miss Gallagher a three-year probation with drug testing...
...as well as 200 hours of parenting classes and Narcotics Anonymous meetings.
State would recommend Miss Gallagher serve 90 days in the penitentiary.
And I'm suggesting that since this is my client's first offense...
...and she already has time served, that she only do 30 days.
Is that everything?
-Yes, Your Honor, it is. -Yes.
Mr. Jeffreys, I will be reducing your request from 200 hours...
...of parenting and NA meetings to 100 hours.
And since I do not believe justice will be served by additional jail time for Miss Gallagher...
...I'll sign off on her completion of that part of the plea bargain.
-Yes, Your Honor. -No jail.
Miss Gallagher, I wanna make sure you understand what's happening.
With this plea agreement, you will be a felon.
As such, you will serve three years' probation...
...during which time, you cannot leave the state of Illinois.
You must meet with your probation officer once a week.
You will not be able to get a government job, hold public office, vote.
If you possess a passport, you must surrender it.
You shall refrain from excessive use of alcohol.
You shall not purchase, possess, use, distribute or administer...
...any controlled substance.
You shall not engage with any persons involved in criminal activity.
You will be under house arrest until further notice.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Yes, Your Honor.
How do you plead to possession and child endangerment?
I'm guilty. lead to possession and child endangerment?