This is what you missed last week on Shameless.
You got a light? Anybody?
Gonna need an assistant manager.
I can't work nights.
DEBBIE: Thought we weren't supposed to touch the squirrel fund.
-We're not. -You gotta get a job...
...so we can make it through the winter. Need to put $1000 into the squirrel fund.
It says in order to have a hospice, you have to have a nursing degree.
[PEGGY GROANS]
If I get my hospice license, you could send some of St. Peter's flock my way.
-Good morning, sweetheart. -Mom.
Your father came for me, he needed me.
-Told me you needed me too. -We don't.
You look good. Back on your meds?
I am not bipolar.
I can get you back in my sister's lap if you let me stay.
FIONA: Throw him out. -What?
-He needs to be in school. -Monica's back. Enjoy it.
You married a drug lord's daughter to hang on to your ear?
Wasn't so sure he was gonna stop at the ear.
I'm not in love with her, but I shit myself every time I think...
...about what her dad would do if I dumped her.
She doesn't love you either. She's got this other guy, Marco somebody.
-What are you doing? -Soon as Karen's hormones calm down...
-...I'll be back in the house. -No, you won't, weirdo!
You deserve better. You're a good man, Jody.
[SHEILA MOANS]
[MANDY & LIP MOANING]
Shh. I don't want Ian to hear us.
TERRY: Gallagher!
IAN: Shit!
TERRY: My Mandy's pregnant and this little shit's gonna pay!
[MUFFLED GRUNT]
[WHISPERING] Be quiet.
-What the hell? -Shh.
Get up. Get up.
-It's 1 a.m. -Hop to it.
-Carl's awake. -[WHISPERING] I'll get Debbie.
[LAUGHS]
MONICA [IN NORMAL VOICE]: Come on. FRANK: Look at that.
-Is that our Halloween candy? -[IN NORMAL VOICE] Who wants candy corn?
-Me. -Movie night.
-We have school in the morning. -Paranormal Activity 3.
-Right? -My buddy Edgar shot this at the AMC.
MONICA: Ooh.... -Why is the camera so shaky?
-Ah, Edgar's got palsy. -It's rated R.
-For "really fucking scary." -So sit there and learn.
-I'm gonna get Fiona. -She wouldn't like this movie.
This is gonna be our little secret.
[MONICA CHUCKLES]
MONICA: Mm. Mm. CARL: Die.
Ooh. Don't go there.
[ALL SCREAM]
[ALL LAUGH]
I'd trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep.
-You're gonna be late for school. -Hey, I hope you're hungry.
Most important meal of the day.
-Carl, sit. CARL: Unh.
-House could use a spring clean. -It's November.
It's like Dawn of the Dead. What's with you?
MONICA: Debbie, can you get your father up?
He's out in the alley by the Chopiaks' garbage cans. Help him to bed. Unh.
Ian left for work early. Did you hear? I kicked Terry Milkovich's ass.
Not the first time someone's come in here fists first.
Why don't you go for a run? When's the last time you did that?
FIONA: I've got too much to do. MONICA: Like?
Uh, make lunches, get Liam dressed, take him for his check-up.
Made lunches already. I'm here, it doesn't all have to fall on you.
I'm doing better, I promise.
Carl. Carl Gallagher.
Okay, if you're not gonna eat, I want your teeth brushed in two minutes.
-Come on. Wear this. -You Febreze it first?
Washed it last night.
Why don't you go for a run?
I remember when you used to run six miles before school every morning.
[PHONE PLAYS RINGTONE]
She did.
-Steve? Is Lip okay? STEVE: I got great news, can I come over?
-No. -I'm right outside the house.
Of course you are.
My wife is in love with another guy.
-Congratulations. -Marco.
I'm importing him, gonna surprise her.
-What's her dad say about it? -Nothing can stand in the way of love.
-He finds out, you're gonna be Hoffa'd. -He'll remain blissfully in the dark.
Can I come in?
-We got nothing else to work out? -Like?
Like you being married and harboring my brother?
STEVE: He's a truant, not a terrorist. -Come on, Dad.
STEVE: Morning, Debs. -Bring any coffee?
STEVE: Mm. Sorry. DEBBIE: Step up.
[DOOR OPENS]
Wife's boyfriend ain't here yet.
So when he gets in, so do I?
Deal. Don't make plans tonight, I'm picking him up right now.
I never said deal.
All right, Mandy, third try. I'm really bad at taking hints...
...so I'll hit double digits if you don't call me back.
Look, I need you to get your dad to back off.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Coming!
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
-Package. Signed for it. -Oh. Oh...
...you don't have to get my mail.
It's the body pillow. I ordered it for Karen.
-Butane? -Crème brûlée.
Father Pete's bringing a guest over.
Hospice?
Poor guy's been living in the church basement.
You, uh, need a hand bringing the bed down?
-No, no, no. I can do it. -I can help.
No, no, no.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
Oh....
Fuck. Hey. Those skinheads again?
Mandy's dad. Heard the news.
-You and Mickey? -Mandy. Pregnant.
Wow.
Well, congratulations. I didn't know you switched teams.
Or was it a late night, stuck it in the wrong Milkovich?
He told Linda he's gonna put my feet in that meat slicer, work his way up.
-Linda call the cops? -Think she wants the place firebombed?
Mandy say whose it is?
-Won't call me back. -Mm.
Try checking the school.
Linda assured me if I leave the place how it is, I'm gonna be out of a job.
She's not gonna be there. She goes into hiding till her dad cools off.
-Spider hole in Tikrit? -Relatives on South Justine.
I went by, but her aunt wouldn't let me in.
-How's the homeless shelter? -On the 14th floor of the Ritz, so not bad.
I'm staying with Steve. Great view.
-Skyline? -That too.
Ah. Right, Steve's wife.
Surprised you can still lift that arm.
-It's gonna come out of my pay. -Relax.
I gotta go meet Steve.
Try not to knock up any more chicks while I'm gone, all right?
Jesus.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
Steve's flying in the wife's boyfriend?
Can't say he hasn't been working his elfin ass off trying to win you back.
Holy shit, bury the lead. Something you wanna tell me?
My morning ritual. Get mounted by Kev, pee on a stick.
He won't leave for work without it. Weeks now.
Jesus, these things are expensive.
I thought anything involving his dick and my honey pot...
-...would be the easy part. -You worried?
Thought Kev had defective balls, but he got it checked out.
Little swimmers could qualify for the Junior Olympics.
-When's the last time you spread them? -For a doctor? Been forever.
Couldn't be me. I've had so many abortions the next one's free.
Isn't there a neglected child that needs you?
-Thinking about taking the day off. -Who's running the asylum?
Monica. Seems like she's doing better.
-Taking her meds? -She says so.
It's not gonna last, but maybe I can get a few good months before she crashes.
-You should go see Meg. -Down at the club?
Didn't she say she had something for you? A regular job?
Yeah.
That lady doctor still at the clinic? Sausage Fingers?
[MONICA GRUNTS]
You did such a great job with your shot.
And what did I promise?
Brave boys get a sucker. Look.
Frank, I'm back. You up?
How about pancakes? Hungry?
"Squirrel fund."
Oh!
Hello.
[MONICA CHUCKLING]
Frank.
I don't give a shit what you make for breakfast.
Yow. Ow. What the fuck, Monica?
What?
Where the hell did you get all that?
I found it. Thinking we could pay a visit to Raoul.
-Snort or swallow? -Both!
RICKY: Oh-nine-four-three-eight-nine. LIP: When was Marco supposed to arrive?
STEVE: Should be here by now. -Oh-nine-four-three-eight-four.
-Four-one-- -Gotta be an easier way to smuggle him.
Ah, a billion Chinese can't be wrong.
-How long is this gonna take? -Somewhere you need to be?
LIP: Yeah, Ian's in some trouble. -I thought you wanted this.
-Quickest grand you ever made. -For the phone hacking?
Buyer was thrilled, said you should moonlight for the NSA.
Use it as a down payment on your own place.
Why do that when I could have a rich father-in-law to leech off of, like you?
Seriously, you wanna be on your own, you gotta start saving.
Ricky, there's no more containers in this aisle.
Ten thousand of these get lost at sea every year.
Is it possible the container could have got put in a different lane?
Let me see that.
Yo, Steve, you sure these are fours? They look like nines.
Yo, Marco, bit of a problem. Uh, you wanna call me back when you get this?
MAN: Stick it in the warehouse!
[STEVE SIGHS]
-Marco! -Marco!
LIP: Yo, Marco! STEVE: Marco!
LIP: Marco! STEVE: Marco!
Fucking Raoul. Twelve hundred dollars for an ounce of coke.
For his shitty coke? It's like Drano going up your nose.
-And he offered it for 1150 if I blew him. -What else did you get?
Oh. Wheels.
It took six security guards to kick us out of there.
Took three just to climb over the rail and get you away from that zebra.
I thought it was a unicorn. I swear I saw a hor-- What were we on?
-Hit me. -Oxy or benny?
-Benny. -Benny? There you go.
Why anyone would go to the zoo sober....
Hey, you having fun back there?
-Where's the Special K? -I skipped it.
Skip-- Why?
If I wanted to feel dead I would take meds.
It's the one thing I asked for! You selfish bitch!
-Oh! Stop the car! -You're fucking driving!
MONICA: Get out! FRANK: No!
MONICA: Well, then I'm fucking getting out! -This is just like you!
-Excuse me for fucking sharing! -Always your conditions!
-I had to deal with Raoul! -There it is!
-Trying to cut my nuts off! -Don't you talk about cutting!
Not my fault your parents did a number on you.
MONICA: Like the bitch who raised you...
-...was Mother of the Year! -May that bitch rest in peace!
-Fuck you! -Yeah? Well, fuck you.
Wait, where are you going?
Monica.
Monica! Fuck! Christ!
[SIGHS]
WOMAN: Get the fuck back, Terry, I've got a shotgun.
Not Terry.
Fuck you want?
-Hi, I'm Lip, Mandy's friend. -Mandy ain't here.
Yeah, I need to talk to her.
No visitors.
-Could you tell her it's me? -Could you step back...
...before I spray your organs all over my goddamn yard?
[GUN COCKS]
Now fuck off.
[SIGHS]
Mandy! Look, you gotta call your dad off, all right? Get him to leave Ian alone!
Just tell him the truth, you know, even if it's mine.
If your dad needs to kill someone, tell him he can come after me!
-Thought you had kids to take care of. -Situation changed.
MEG: I wish it had changed before I hired someone else.
Gotta give them the spiel. No nips, no lips, no handies. This isn't a strip club.
-You still opening that new place? -Belle Epoque.
-More Gucci, less Axe Body Spray. -Anything for me there?
-I wish. -I can do more than waitress.
-I've bartended. -We're staffed up.
-Completely? -Need someone to run the upper bar.
-I can do that. -Someone who can promote a night.
Well, I'm getting my GED.
No one's gonna pay a thousand bucks for a $20 bottle of vodka...
...unless the service is impeccable. Ever manage, oversee inventory, budgeting?
I got too much on my plate to babysit.
-Sorry. -Worth a shot. Thanks.
[OVER SPEAKERS] Turn the music up All night like this
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
MONICA: Deb! Debbie!
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Hi! How was school today?
[MONICA LAUGHS]
-Who'd you steal it from? -[IN NORMAL VOICE] We bought it.
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Come on, get in. Now.
Come on! Ha-ha-ha.
Where's Frank?
Wanna go shopping? Oh. Pretty girls' day out.
-Sure. -Ha-ha-ha.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Come on, let's go. Whoa!
I got it. Ha-ha-ha.
[MEN SHOUTING IN SPANISH]
[MEN LAUGHING]
Fucking NAFTA.
[SPEAKS IN PORTUGUESE]
Uh.... No.
[SPEAKS IN PORTUGUESE]
No. No.
[SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]
No.
[ESTEFANIA SPEAKS IN PORTUGUESE]
[ESTEFANIA GIGGLES]
[PHONE PLAYING DOG BARKING AS RINGTONE]
-[WHISPERING] Marco? MARCO: Where the fuck am I?
I've been trying to reach you.
Take small breaths.
Any idea where you are? Can you hear anything?
I'm trying my best, Marco. Ration your food, like those Chilean miners.
They only needed a couple of bites of tuna a day.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Hey. Don't pass that one up right there.
[IN PORTUGUESE]
ESTEFANIA [OVER PHONE]:
[IN ENGLISH] Hello? Hello, Marco?
[IN PORTUGUESE]
-Aah! -Surprise.
[ESTEFANIA SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]
-Sheila, Ruben. -Oh....
-Got shot by his pimp, infection in his spine. -Ooh. Oh.
-Hi. Oh. -He can't hear you. Deaf since birth.
That's why he started sucking a crack pipe.
I'm proud to say young Ruben's come to see the Lord...
...does not accept excuses in exchange for first-class transportation upstairs. Heh.
Been clean a year now.
-Father, just a moment please? -Of course.
He came to us three years ago during one of our...
-...winter nights for the homeless. -Yeah.
Hung on a lot longer than any of us expected.
-Saints be praised. -No, that wasn't--
We just can't afford to keep him.
State cutbacks. You'll receive $50 a day for food and whatever else he needs...
...but let's just say I'm not going to be making any surprise visits. Heh, heh.
[WHISPERING] Father, I've....
I've done a terrible thing.
I don't recognize myself anymore.
When I look in the mirror, it's like another person is staring back at me...
...and I'm just-- I'm lost.
Your purpose in life was to build a happy family, and you achieved that.
And now, your husband's passed and your daughter's ready to fly the nest.
But you're still needed.
This is your purpose now.
[SHOUTING] Hi, Ruben! I'm Sheila!
[GRUNTING]
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Okay. Great. Yeah, this will be great.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
MONICA: Hey, sweetheart, is everything okay?
Mandy's dad came looking for me at school.
-Are you all right? -Managed to duck out before he saw me.
-What's with the dolls? -Took Debbie shopping.
I missed her birthday. We couldn't decide which to get so we got them all.
DEBBIE: I'll get the other load. -There's more?
[WHISPERING] I didn't have the heart to tell her I don't play with dolls.
She practically filled the car.
Car?
-You bought a car? -How was your trigonometry midterm?
C-minus.
-You passed! -I can kiss West Point goodbye.
-West Point? -I was hoping to get in.
Not that I'll live long enough now to go.
Well, if you know you wanna be in the Army...
...why are you wasting your time with school? Join up.
What are we waiting for?
Happy birthday. Come on, let's go.
[DOOR CLOSES]
STEVE: Okay, the ship's called the Bonita. It's based out of Mexico. Lip?
-Yup. STEVE: Focus.
I am focusing. On the woman getting a spray tan in your bedroom.
She's trying to lose her tan lines before Marco gets here.
A noble endeavor I endorse.
A waste of time if we do not track down Marco's ship and find out where he is.
He is calling me in four hours, I need to give him good news.
[WHISPERS] What, you didn't tell her I lost him?
No.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] It'd be a shame if he didn't make it.
But, you know, naturally, I'd step up, be there to comfort her.
All right, cut the shit, Lip. I lose Marco, I lose Fiona.
Okay, okay, okay. Um....
All right, so the ship should be stopping to pick up extra cargo.
Where is it?
-Uh, be in Cleveland tonight. -Cleveland?
So take him to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
But now, do me a favor, get the fuck out of my way?
Thank you.
[GUNFIRE ON TV]
[MAN SCREAMS ON TV]
MAN: Ran out of ammo.
RECRUITER: Ever been outside Chicago? Army's sent me all over the world.
I ate a croissant outside the Eiffel Tower and pizza in Rome.
-The other branches are here too, huh? -Yes, ma'am.
We'll train you too, so when you finish your service...
...you can secure a good-paying job back home.
So, what are they playing? That looks fun.
"America's Army 3."
We could use more bright young men like you.
-How soon can I ship out? -Okay.
So U.S. citizen, right?
-Ever been convicted of a crime? -Uh, no, sir.
What year'd you graduate?
I'm a junior.
In high school?
Gonna have to see me when you got your diploma.
-What? -You're turning him down?
-He needs to be a high school graduate. -Why?
-The rules, ma'am. I'm sorry. -Fuck the rules, sign him up.
-Ma'am, I'm sorry, but it's really not-- -He wants to serve his country.
Finish school, stay in touch.
You have to know trigonometry to get killed for your country?
You send him out to do multiplication or kill towelheads?
IAN: All right, let's just-- -No wonder you can't win a fucking war.
IAN: Thanks for your time. -Because of shitheads like you...
...we're gonna be eating egg rolls and speaking slant-eye.
Army too chickenshit? Fuck you, we're going to the Navy.
KEVIN: Veronica. I got 20 minutes left on my break.
That should give us enough time to go three times, easy.
-Just ate. -That's okay, I'll do all the work.
-Maybe later. -Come on.
The best part about making a baby is you get to have sex while we're doing it.
-Not likely. -What are you talking about?
Making a baby.
I told you, the ball doctor said we're good to go.
I'm talking about me.
Went to the clinic today. Said me having kids "not likely."
PID.
-Is that bad? -Bad enough.
-It's gonna be okay. -Never really wanted them anyway.
-What? What do you mean? -I like things the way they are.
-Why change? -It's what we wanted.
-Not what I wanted. -We talked about it.
I was telling you what you wanted to hear.
-So you were lying? -You calling me a liar?
Maybe. If you lied about it.
You were thinking about what you wanted.
Now you're calling me selfish?
Congratulations, you just got everything you wanted all along.
Fuck, that hurt.
MAN: All right, GED practice test next week.
And remember, knives count as weapons...
...so please leave them at home.
-Looking at you, Miguel and Shontasia. -Me?
FIONA: Hi. Fiona Gallagher. -Mm-hm.
I'm just wondering if there's anything more I should be doing.
Only the second class.
Anything I could be studying at home?
-Why'd you drop out of high school? -I didn't have time.
Mm-hm.
-Family thing. -What are you gonna do with your GED?
I was tossing around the idea of club-restaurant management.
But I found out I'm underqualified.
I'm afraid the GED only takes you so far nowadays.
Didn't mention that in your opening remarks.
They encourage us not to.
Guess I need to aim a little lower. Massage therapist?
You're here because there's a gap in your education, not your intelligence.
-You live near Daley College? -The JC?
They offer a range of business courses. Have scholarships, financial aid.
You can take classes while holding down a job. You have the time now?
I might, yeah.
Don't have to aim low.
You're only my second patient.
My first one died, so one for one.
[COUGHING]
Aw. Do you...? Um....
Do you want me...
...to end your suffering?
Do you want me to...?
[GRUNTS]
Like...?
You just say the word and I'll:
[MUFFLED GRUNTING]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Yes? Was that a yes?
It was just hard to hear.
Maybe if you plug the hole with your finger?
Okay, bit of a whistle. Maybe try the thumb.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Hungry? Oh!
Yes, I have something special.
Yes, you just wait right there. Um....
Hey, look what I have. Crème brûlée.
Would you like some? Okay.
Let's see, if I put this in your mouth...
...is it just gonna spill out that hole?
-Monica! MONICA: I'm in here.
I'm replacing the shelf paper. It's gonna look great in here.
-What? -You wanna apologize?
For what?
For leaving me in fucking Indiana somewhere.
-I should've hit you with the car. -Walked 10, 15 miles.
You must be tired.
Froze my ass off.
How about a bath?
I'll run you a bath, and then after...
...we can do what we do best.
-We don't have an eightball. -Not that.
-Sex? -A kid.
Oh, Frank, let's do it.
Who are we to deny the world another shining Gallagher star?
We had one kid on coke. Debbie.
-That was Carl. -No, Carl was E.
-Thought Liam was E. -Liam was acid.
-Don't you remember? -Yeah.
Christmas Eve, I got it from that bail-bond guy. We had our own rave.
Till the kids came downstairs asking for fucking gifts.
But we've never made a little rug rat on GHB.
Aw....
Yeah. Yeah, let's do this.
Not in my room.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Need to get shitfaced. Don't wanna do it alone.
-I'll pour, you talk. -I'll get the cups.
[PHONE PLAYS RINGTONE]
-What do you want? -I have to cancel our date.
-What date? -I'm sorry.
Keep tomorrow night free, okay? I gotta go.
You find the ship?
Thank you.
There's nothing on it.
MAN: I guess they unloaded it already. -Where are the containers?
How the fuck should I know?
Fuck.
[DOOR BELLS JINGLE]
Easy. Fuck.
Is that Linda's?
It already shot one Milkovich.
I got a way we can get rid of Mandy's dad.
Don't even have to fire a bullet.
-He's on parole, right? -Kidnapping and grand theft auto.
What do you think the cops would do if they found one of those in his house?
-Linda will know if we took it. -Grammy's 9 mm.
-He could get six years. -Yeah, or life.
The serial numbers aren't scratched off.
The gun's bound to have racked up a body count. All we have to do is plant it.
I got nothing to lose. I bombed the trig midterm.
How bad?
-I tried to enlist. -What?
Monica took me. Figured Mandy's dad couldn't kill me in Kabul.
-There's plenty of Muslims who could. -Well, they all turned me down.
The Army, the Navy, Marines, Air Force.
Still got the Coast Guard.
It's my fucking funeral.
Look, just lay low until tomorrow morning, okay?
Don't forget the gun.
On top of managing the bar, I could've got my own night to promote.
Why we talking about a job you didn't get?
I really wanted it.
Don't spend time thinking about things you can't have.
Doctor didn't say it was impossible.
Close to it.
Since when do you take no for an answer?
Since when do you?
JODY [SINGING]: How can I just let you walk away?
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here taking every breath
With you, ooh
Sheila, you're the only one who really knew me at all.
Wake up, baby, come on. Mommy needs your help. Where is Ian?
Come on, it's gonna be fun.
Debbie, don't forget your father.
Thanks for letting me talk your ear off last night, Fi.
I'll tell her when she gets back.
Where the hell did she go this early?
Hey. He's still in there. They leave a key anywhere?
Door's unlocked. Who would be crazy enough to break in?
Right. You bring Grammy's gun?
Remember to wipe your prints off.
There he is.
Where should we plant it?
Maybe beside all the others?
IAN: Jesus.
LIP: Like bringing a joint to a crack house.
[DOOR OPENS]
What the fuck?
LIP: Go!
Move, move, move.
[YELLS]
TERRY: Huh?
I'm gonna fucking waste your Peter Pan ass.
Put it down.
-The fuck you doing? -Let him go.
The little shit broke in.
-He's not the dad! -He knows.
-The fuck I do. -I told you whose it is.
Let him go, Dad. This is between us.
Your dad?
Another word and I'll blow your brains all over the fucking linoleum.
What are you doing here?
I didn't wanna sleep in our bed without you.
Your eyes are red.
I couldn't sleep. You?
-I'll go first. -No, me.
-I called you a liar. -Only because I am.
Said I didn't want kids. I did.
Yeah.
You know, there are lots of kids who need a home.
Fucked up foster kids like me.
Exactly. We could build up our own army, like Wesley Snipes.
Take over the neighborhood.
[KEVIN SIGHS]
You know, no one said that we have to stop trying.
-Oh.... -Ha-ha-ha. Come here.
[VERONICA LAUGHS]
I'm going to slit your throat with a motherfucking can opener!
I have no food, my fucking phone is dying, man!
I am trying to find you.
Estefania, please!
You were on your way to Georgia but got rerouted.
I don't care, man. I don't fucking care.
Listen, I just finished an hour conversation with my brother...
...and he's dead 12 years. Get me out of here!
-Why don't you give it a rest? -Hello?
Hello?
[SPEAKING IN PORTUGUESE]
-Fuck! -Aah!
You.... Dead man.
What are you doing?
What does it look like? I'm steam-cleaning the rug.
I rented it from Jewel-Osco.
When's the last time you think this has been cleaned?
How many miles did you run?
-Four. -You'll be up to six in no time.
Yeah, take a shower while there's still hot water.
Hey, Carl.
Carl?
Hey, just want a second with Mandy, okay?
You need this?
-All right, I'll see you later. -Yeah.
So....
-When'd you get home? -Last night.
He drinks and mistakes me for Mom.
Only once in a while, not like it's a big deal.
Watch the fucking look on your face.
A Gallagher looking down on me? I don't think so.
Why'd he think it was me?
Blacks out.
Forgets.
Lip better keep his mouth shut.
He will.
I just wish the whole thing would go away.
We can make it.
-You got $600 lying around? -We can raise it.
The money, not the baby.
You'd do that?
You're my girlfriend.
Anthony Bourdain? Sanjay Gupta?
Nancy Grace. There's gotta be a missing white girl somewhere.
Aw, Ruben, I'm trying.
No? You don't want TV, you don't eat.
Do you have a wish? Before you go? Anything I can get you?
Yeah?
Oh. Oh, I don't-- I'm not sure what you mean. Oh.
-Milk. Eggs. -Aw....
-Hey, bro. -He can't hear you.
Is it getting cold out there?
-I could use a shower. -That's not a good idea.
Hey, I:
Uh.... Okay, I'll tell her.
I spent the past few months learning baby sign language.
He says he hates crème brûlée.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
-It gives him the runs. -Oh.
I noticed that. Is there anything he does like?
JODY: What do you wanna eat?
-Know how to make cake? -Strawberry shortcake.
JODY: Strawberry shortcake?
No, he says, "Fuck that."
Vanilla cake with a shitload of Grand Marnier.
Hey, you need to watch your language, bro.
Uh, there's one more thing before he kicks it.
Uh....
-Want to fuck. -Hey!
Out of line, bro. That's a lady right there.
SHEILA: What'd he say? -He's sorry.
He'll settle for something else.
Oh....
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
MEG: Everything but the Cristal in the cooler. MAN: All right.
I want the job.
-Fiona-- -You asked if I'd managed before.
Yeah, a houseful of kids. Taught me how to smack with one hand...
...while giving a pat on the back with the other.
Inventory, budgeting?
Go grocery shopping for a family of six with what's in my pocket, then let's talk.
Somebody saw that you were more than a cage dancer...
...and they took a chance on you.
I can do this.
I got a pre-opening event tonight.
-Things move fast, gotta keep up. -I will.
All right, let's give it a shot.
That's what managers wear. Pick out your size. I gotta go audition DJs.
I'm gonna kick ass, Meg.
All right, I'll see you at 9.
IAN: Okay, cool.
Yeah, thanks, man. Kev says we're all set for the Alibi.
Why do we have to do this stupid fundraiser?
-Mandy needs our help. -Got more chocolate-chip cookies.
Every buck counts, right? Who wants another batch?
Peanut butter? Toffee?
Where's the tape? Can't find anything in this kitchen.
When are we moving the furniture back?
Debbie, I love your poster.
Who'd you get your artistic talent from? Who wants to sample a cookie?
FRANK: Me. IAN: Uh, they're for the fundraiser.
Blood sugar's dipping trying to keep up with your mother.
-She's wearing me out. CARL: I'm done.
Uh, it's "fundraiser," not "fun razor."
Want them to show up, make them think someone's getting cut.
[IMITATES RAZOR CUTTING]
All right, make copies, man.
I'll take him. Come on, you and me, Carl. We can take the new car.
Can't get enough Carl-and-Mommy time.
Do you need some new clothes? We could stop at JC Penney.
-I can drive. -No-- Do you have a license?
Mom's never gonna shampoo the rug, is she?
STEVE: Will you calm down? Okay, will you sit down? Take a seat!
[ESTEFANIA SHOUTING IN PORTUGUESE]
If I knew what you were saying, I'm sure that it's great, but can you--?
I am trying my best. I am trying--
-You. Where have you been? LIP: I'm not on fucking retainer.
Okay, Marco's disappeared.
He's on a truck somewhere, no idea where.
That's not good.
-Whoa, you know Portuguese? -Yeah, it's like Italian.
She says if you don't find Marco alive, she's gonna call her father.
Hope you're not wed to your eyes or your tongue.
Or your dick.
Here, hold this?
-No, no, no. Who are you calling? -I got a teamster friend in the local 710.
Yeah, yo, Tully.
I'm looking for a container one of your drivers is hauling. Uh-huh.
Yeah, sure, I can hold.
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
MONICA: Oh, shit, Carl.
Carl, switch places. Come on. Quick, quick, quick.
Look innocent. Good.
Hi. You're supposed to be wearing your seat belt.
Think these'll match. What you looking up?
-Nothing. -It's my computer.
You don't know how to do private browsing, I'll check the history later.
Richard Daley College?
-Just seeing what's out there. -You gotta get Lip back in high school...
...before you got any shot of getting him into college.
Actually, it's for me.
If I pass my GED next month, I could enroll for January.
I could fit in two classes a day before the club.
Study marketing, I could be promoting my own night before end of semester.
Good for you, Fi. Why didn't you just say so?
I thought you was looking at Kev's dick pics.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Hey, Gallagher, you seen Fiona? I've been looking for her.
-Why, what's up? -Your mom's down at the station.
Bring bail money.
[INHALING]
Dying wish.
How we gonna feed it to him?
Oh.
[WHIMPERING]
Think he wants another hit.
He worked so hard to get clean.
Sometimes it's not worth holding out.
Life's too short. Why not just give in?
I'm not here for your stash. I need bail money, I only have a grand.
You have a grand?
Where's the squirrel fund?
The hell's a squirrel fund?
-Empty your fucking pockets. -You talk to your father that way?
Get the fucking key and get me out of here.
I want my phone call.
I'm gonna get my lawyer and Rodney King your asses.
Your brother was driving. He got a nasty bump, but he'll be fine.
I told my captain your mom was driving under the influence.
MONICA: You feel powerful locking me up?
She's not making it easy.
MONICA: I'm not invisible.
Hey, buddy, you doing okay?
Do you hear me? I'm right here.
I'm right here. I'm here.
-Thank you. KEVIN: Thattaboy, Jack.
What the fuck is this?
IAN: We're raising money.
For Mandy. Twenty-five dollars, all the well drinks you want.
You got 10 minutes to sign up for the pool tournament.
Five dollar entry fee, bragging rights at stake.
Thanks for all your help.
Too many Gallaghers in the world already.
Lip, now you? Instead of passing rubbers out at your school...
...they should be passing them out at your house.
-Hey, Debbie. Cookies. -Oh.
We have dollar a cookie, a buck fifty a brownie, 70 for the gun.
Oh.
Hey, how'd you get so many people here?
Told them proceeds go to a great cause.
It's for a church retreat.
Kids with cleft palates.
Here. The NRA.
The resistance against the Zionist occupation.
Hey, wow, you look great.
-Where's Pele? -Florida. Sunshine state.
Heading to the airport, wanted to stop by and ask for another rain check.
-Rain check? -Yeah, I mean--
[CAR HORN HONKING]
Tomorrow, I'm all yours, okay?
Who says I want you?
[ESTEFANIA SPEAKS IN PORTUGUESE]
Got it.
[GRUNTS]
-Where the fuck have you been? FIONA: You back for good or just visiting?
-Just bailed Monica out of jail. -What? Why?
Cops and their fucking quotas, why do you think?
She let Carl play bumper cars with a Buick.
-Is he okay? -"Is he okay?" What about your mother?
She birthed your ungrateful asses. I'm late for a meeting.
They said Carl's gonna be fine.
But it's hard to tell, he's concussed more than he isn't.
Don't let him fall asleep.
You're AWOL, now you're giving orders?
-I was around. -Really?
So you know Monica spent all the squirrel-fund money?
I wouldn't have even had the cash to bail her out...
...if I didn't return a bunch of dolls I found in Debbie's room.
The first rule you learn in this house, you hide the goddamn money.
-She seemed better. -Look at this place.
The sofa is in the kitchen.
For fuck's sake, she tried to get Ian to enlist.
She what?
What did you think was gonna happen, Fiona?
Thought it might be different this time.
Well, how'd that Kool-Aid taste going down?
Where is she?
You could've gotten Carl killed.
You tried to get Ian into the Army?
You promised me.
Get out of bed.
Get out of bed, Mom!
[SCREAMS AND SOBS]
[SIGHS]
MARCO: Get me out of here! Please! Help!
[BANGING]
Help! NG]