OFFICER: Keep moving. -Where were you guys last week?
-Getting a foster kid. -Lots of work.
-Three-eighty-four a month. -Foster kids are messed up.
They need a positive influence.
-Unh, that's for screwing my husband. -Unh.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Kiss me and I'll cut your fucking tongue out.
I'm taking the PSATs for some Polish kid over on Ridgedale.
I'm an investigator for the Educational Evaluation Service.
-The punishment? -I'm at the university. Come to my office.
[HORN BLARING]
[CHUCKLES]
[GROANS]
I'm going to the store today.
Toilet paper. I'm starting to chafe from the streamers.
[GRUNTS]
Toothpaste.
Why are Steve's clothes down here?
Well, somebody couldn't wait to get upstairs last night.
-We out of diapers? -Yeah, but I put a plug up his butt.
Didn't I, buddy? Oh, it's okay.
-That towel's gonna leak. -Yeah, I'm on it.
Ugh, so my SAT gig's a bust...
...but, uh, I could scrape up some money another way if you need help.
It's cool. I got 35 bucks.
-Plus I'm picking up that temp check later. -Okay.
[MIMICKING TASER]
Is that a taser? Where'd you get that?
I let him borrow it. Hey, help me out, okay?
Carl got invited some place by normal kids.
Robbie Rebello's having a paint ball party. Towel.
Yeah, but he's not going, so I gave him the taser to play with.
Don't worry, it doesn't work.
Who's Candace?
I have no idea. You aren't going, Carl?
No. It costs $27.
-Here. -Awesome.
Thanks.
-What? -Well, he really wanted to go.
Knows we're strapped.
This should hold him for a few hours.
You're gonna need new diapers.
Steve got a text from Candace. "Sweetie, call me. It's important."
Hey, you don't read other people's messages.
Is he dating someone else?
Go. You're gonna be late for school.
LIAM: Late for school. School.
KEVIN: Mommy?
Mommy? I'm hungry, Mommy.
I want some food, Mommy. Wake up.
Mommy.
We're only taking in a kid for a week to get the money...
...to pay for my stupid parking tickets. That's it. We're like a hotel.
Yeah, I know, but I'm secretly hoping you like it...
...so we get to keep the kid longer because I wanna do dad things.
Not a secret anymore.
And it's gonna change our lives too much.
No it won't.
Come on, we walk around the house naked half the time...
...shoot tequila for breakfast, and swear up a storm.
-We're gonna do that with a kid? -Who cares?
You know what? I lived with some crazy-ass foster parents...
...but it's better than being in a group home.
Well, just don't get too excited.
We're gonna get our money and kick the little brat to the curb.
All right, fine. Now come here...
-...and let me suckle your tit, Mommy. -Mm-mm.
-Come on, let me suckle your tit. -Mm-mm.
I need some milk. I need some breakfast.
[VERONICA CHUCKLES]
Which do you like better?
One...
[STEVE MOANS]
...or two?
Mm, one.
What about one...
...or two?
Mm, definitely two.
Okay, one....
Oh, God, one. One. One. One.
I'm not finished yet.
-One... -Ugh.
[STEVE MOANING]
-...or two? -Oh, God. One.
-Who the fuck is Candace? -Who?
-How do you know? -So there's something to know?
-We-- She-- We work together. -Uh-huh.
Why is she texting you, "Sweetie. It's important. Call me"?
Uh, she's a little high maintenance.
That happens when you fuck someone.
[GRUNTS]
Believe me, I didn't fuck Candace.
We work together. That's all.
I don't care if you screw someone else, just don't lie about it. Ever.
[PANTING]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
I'll turn it off.
-Shit. -What?
-I gotta leave. -Heh.
-Are you kidding me? -It's a work thing. Um....
I'll make it up to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay?
I'll make it up to you. Tonight.
[SIGHS]
I don't think he's gonna wake up.
Mr. Gallagher? Mr. Gallagher?
[FRANK GRUNTS]
-What the bejesus? DOCTOR: Sorry.
We tried smelling salts, caffeine injections, ice baths.
-Where am I? -In the hospital.
You've been unconscious for two days with alcohol poisoning.
Ah, that's nothing. Back in '95, I was out for eight days.
Wait, wait. Hold on a second. I'm Dr. Seery.
These are my residents. We have a proposition for you.
You're hot, but it's been awhile since I've been with a dude.
Never mind two.
You've misunderstood.
Uh, we'd like you to participate in our medical study.
-Your what? -In my career, I've never seen such...
-...a spectacular display of alcoholism. -Thank you.
Would you abstain from alcohol for two weeks?
-No. -We could offer you $3000.
Yes.
I was like, girl, you are not using my eyeliner if you have pink eye.
And she was like, well, then, you're not my friend anymore.
Hmm?
You're not listening, are you?
No. Sorry.
What's wrong with you?
I slept with someone. Not Kash.
-What? -Yeah.
Well, detes, please? Who?
I can't tell you.
He's on the down low, you know.
Wow.
Yeah.
KEVIN: What are you doing?
Hiding our silver in case they send us a thief.
We have three settings. None of them match.
They were my Aunt Elva's.
Found my old football one of my foster dads left me.
-What if it's a girl? -She's gonna learn some kick-ass moves.
-Kev, ball, face left, spins right. -Ha-ha-ha.
He's at the 30, the 20, the 10. Touchdown.
Hello. I'm sorry.
I'm Mrs. Martini from the DCFS.
Oh, I'm Veronica. This is my husband, Kevin.
Hey, heh. Hi. Nice to meet you.
Thank you for being available on such short notice. Um, this is Ethel.
Wow. Okay. Hi.
Ethel and 70 other children were removed from a religious sect.
Religious sect? You mean like a cult?
Say hello to your new foster family, Ethel.
Hello.
And come back every three days for a drug screening and brain scan.
In addition, you'll be wearing my RAM.
Remote alcohol monitor. Designed it myself.
This fine piece of jewelry will alert us to any alcohol use.
-Make it two weeks, you get the cash. -Can I get an advance?
This green light is connected to your bracelet.
Drink one sip of booze, light turns red.
Take the bracelet off, light turns red.
Spill rubbing alcohol on it, light turns red.
Red light equals no cash.
Get ready to say goodbye to three grand.
I'm a sober man.
-Usual, Frank? -Didn't you hear me, Jess?
I'm sober now.
-Here you go. JB and an Old Style. -Whoa! Whoa!
I'm sober as a 7-year-old. Haven't had a drink in two days.
Granted, I've been unconscious.
But I figure if I can abstain from alcohol when I'm out...
...how hard can it be to do when I'm awake?
-What are you talking about? -Medical study.
For the next two weeks, my body is a temple.
No alcohol for this fella. And I got this guy to keep me honest.
Lindsay Lohan, how much are they paying you?
-Well, who says I'm getting paid? -No, seriously, how much?
Never you mind what I'm making.
You should spend some time taking a personal inventory...
...of what you're doing for the betterment of society.
Why are you in a bar, Frank, if you're not drinking?
Came in for some support.
The way I see it, I've done a lot for the folks here...
...over the past couple of years.
And I could use a little help from you all now.
I might hit some rough patches the next few weeks.
So I'd like you all to commit to not drinking too, in solidarity.
Like school children, when they shave their head for the cancer kid.
So what say you all? Who's ready...
...to put down the booze with me for the next two weeks?
[ALL LAUGHING]
Fine.
Hope you all get AIDS.
WOMAN: Thanks.
Hey, girl. Here for your check?
-Yeah. Thanks, Gisella. -Hey, Liam.
Fiona. No. I can't find it. What job did you do?
Auto show last week.
-Aw, shit. -What?
Jackasses at McCormick Place handed in the time cards late.
Checks won't be in till next Friday.
-Are you serious? -Yeah. Sorry about that.
Can I go pick it up?
-Payroll doesn't release funds early. -I won't make it to next week.
Sticks and Skates Sports Bar may need someone for this weekend.
-Still make you wear those uniforms? -Yeah.
Might as well put a stage and a stripper pole in that place.
I'm teaching a free PowerPoint class for the next four Saturdays.
Get you an office job once you're certified.
Starting pay is $20 an hour.
Hey, Sheila. Karen already leave for school?
-No. Have you seen Frank? -What, he hasn't been here?
Not in a few days. I'm rather worried about him.
Oh. Sure he's just on a bender. He'll surface.
-Yeah. KAREN: What are you doing here?
The SAT guy that popped me, dragging my ass out to the University of Chicago.
You're planning on going to college?
Fuck, no. I thought we'd check it out though, you know.
Maybe steal some sweatshirts from the bookstore.
Okay.
Hey, Ethel. Veronica's setting up for you in the living room.
In the meantime, pick your poison.
Parcheesi? Monopoly? Clue? No? Yes? Maybe?
Wanna go to the park? Throw the old pig skin around?
I haven't done my chores today.
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
My chores. Don't you have any for me to do?
[IN ENGLISH] No. Like what?
Scrubbing floors, washing dishes.
Hemming, pickling, canning, laundry?
Let's go grab a burger.
There's a new kids' place where the waiters dress like famous gangsters.
Although I have no idea what that has to do with kids. Or burgers.
What?
The Bible says that chores keep the soul pure.
It does?
All right. Let's go find you some chores to do.
I'm sorry we can't fool around.
That's cool. I get it.
A woman's fertile for five days. Linda looked it up online.
Oh, yeah?
Is everything okay with you?
Totally.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
It's her.
She's ripe.
I gotta go.
I guess I'll see you later?
Yeah.
Okay.
[DOOR CLOSES THEN SHEILA GASPS]
Mother....
Frank.
Oh. Frank. Frank.
I worried about you.
Where have you been? Are you alright?
-I'm not alright. -No?
I gotta stay sober two weeks. I'm not gonna make it.
Do we have cigarettes? I really need a cigarette.
Oh, Frank, I'm so proud of you.
Don't be proud. It's been an hour. You gotta help me.
Keep me busy. Entertain me.
All right, Frankie. Okay.
[SHEILA HUMMING]
That's good, Sheils. That's really good.
Just keep doing that for the next two weeks, okay?
I hear it.
LIP: So when you're not busting SAT cheaters, you're a teacher?
-Professor. -Oh.
SAT's a side gig. Pays for my boat.
-Which gets you laid, I'm guessing? -Ha, ha, no.
The beard gets me laid. Chicks dig a beard.
I'll keep that in mind.
You planning on going to college?
You know, Professor Hurst thinks Lip's a genius.
I think he is, too, heh.
That's cute.
I'd like you to attend the university next semester.
I still have a year and a half of high school.
Well, test out. You know you're capable.
Pay for it with what? Beard get me money, too?
There's grants you can apply for.
There's loans. It'll pay for the school, the dorm, your meal card.
And then, I end up owing like a half million bucks, right?
Well, you're a clever kid. You'll figure a way to stiff Uncle Sam.
I don't know. Sounds like a lot of trouble to me.
-Well, it's better than the alternative. -And what's that?
-Well, that girl that you're with? -Uh-huh.
You'll knock her up, or someone like her. And she'll say it happened accidentally...
...but you'll always wonder if it happened accidentally on purpose.
You'll get a job at Best Buy.
And with luck, you'll make assistant manager by the time you're 30.
Unless of course, the anger that you suppressed finally bubbles over...
...and you mouth off to the wrong person and you get fired.
And you won't be able to hold a job because you'll know the truth.
And what's that?
That you never lived up to your potential.
And the only way to numb the pain of underachieving is with booze...
...and with meth.
The old "philosophical professor who's gonna set the troubled teen...
...on the right track." It's a little trite, don't you think?
Oh.
I mean, how many of us has that actually worked on?
Not enough. There's no shortage of brilliant kids just like yourself...
...who are too stupid to get out of the 'hood.
-And how do we usually respond? -You tell me to fuck off.
I guess you saved me the trouble.
Actually, no. Fuck off.
Listen, I got a class.
Why don't you take a peek inside here before you go?
This is the robotics lab. It is the best in the country.
Just, uh, poke around. Come by any time.
Wear a condom, Phillip.
[GUM SNAPPING]
Got any eights?
Go fish.
How about fours? Got any fours?
Oh, shit, it's only been 90 minutes.
-You want some more coffee? -Oh, no. I'm crawling out of my skin.
Well, I know another thing that might kill some time.
No, no. Have mercy on me.
I can't handle anything up my ass without alcohol.
Listen, we'll make it all be about you, okay?
Come on.
Come on, sweetie.
Got any Slim Jims in this shit hole?
Yep, in the back room.
Sure we can't help, Ethel?
-Don't kick me because you don't clean. -The carpet is fine. I swiffered last week.
I just feel icky about this. We're supposed to be taking care of her.
It makes her happy when she cleans.
-She's not our slave, V. -Do you see her picking cotton?
All finished. Can I help you with your chores now, Veronica?
KEVIN: Ha-ha-ha.
At my house, all the wives split the chores.
"All the wives"?
-You're one of five wives? -Married to a dude named Clyde?
-Who's 65 years old? -And how old are you?
Thirteen.
Oh, my....
I'm gonna bust your ass.
-What's the total right now? -Um....
Seven dollars and 56 cents.
-Okay. -Okay keep going or you wanna pay?
Keep going.
[BABY CRYING]
Excuse me, where's the bathroom?
Uh, door to the left of the butcher.
Thanks. Okay, baby. We're going.
Okay, your total is $18.72.
WOMAN: It's all right. Mama is gonna change your diaper.
How much without the diapers?
Hang in there, Liam.
[LIAM CRYING]
Oh, damn. Did I forget your diapers?
I do that all the time.
-Here you go. -Thanks.
We got them.
So I guess this was like a booty call, huh?
Whatever. See you.
Maybe you're not attracted to me anymore.
Give it a minute.
My hand. I'm cramping up.
-Use your mouth. -Okay.
He doesn't even know I'm here.
Sheils, you're not putting an IV in it.
Come out, come out, wherever you are, heh.
Looks like a gummy worm.
I'm going for a jog.
That's a nice idea too.
FRANK: You're doing great, Frank. You're doing great.
Everything's fine. You're gonna make it.
[FRANK PANTING]
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been, uh...
[CHUCKLES]
...37 years since my last confession.
America, America, God shed his grace on thee.
Mars, Venus, Earth, Mercury, Jupiter-- Many very early Martians jumpstart--
Pluto. Pluto. Pluto? It's not even a goddamn planet anymore.
It got demoted. Just like St. Christopher. Oh, God.
DEBBIE: Daddy?
Debbie, what are you doing here?
This is where I play after school.
-It is? -You okay, Daddy?
Gave up the booze. Not feeling too good.
Want some Hawaiian Punch?
Mm. Mm.
So good. Why is it so good?
It's all sugar.
Can we get more of this?
[FRANK & DEBBIE CHUCKLE]
This is nice, isn't it, Deb?
The two of us hanging out, getting to know each other.
Yeah.
Why don't we do this more often?
Well, we should do this more often.
Wanna snort the next batch?
No.
[KAREN MOANS]
What are we doing here?
Seriously, from, uh, my vantage point, looks like we're on the verge of fucking.
No, I mean, you and me. What are we?
-We've always been friends. -Just friends?
Yeah. You know.
Friends who like to do this.
-Right? -Right. I knew that.
I was just checking.
Oh, fuck.
You have a bedroom, Lip.
Yeah, says the girl who had sex on the stairs last night.
-Hallway. -I stand corrected.
Kev and V are on their way over with meat sauce.
-Is that an euphemism? -I bought pasta.
They're bringing their foster kid over.
Paint ball rocks. I had the best day of my life.
-Did you wear a face guard? -Nope.
Hey, hey, I want you guys to meet our new daughter.
-Foster daughter. -Why you gotta do that?
FIONA: Let me help you with that.
-You weren't kidding about her. -I know.
Hi, I'm Karen. Nice to meet you.
Oh, right. Because it's 18th-century England.
Frankie's home.
Oh, my God, I am so wired.
-Debs, what's going on? -We got high on sugar...
...because Daddy quit drinking.
-Whose daddy? -Me Daddy. Me, me, me. Mm.
[DEBBIE CHUCKLES]
-Oh, shit. -What?
He's done this once before.
We gotta help Daddy stay busy and keep off of drinking...
...so he can make $3000.
Hey, everybody, come here. Gather around.
I got something I wanna say. Um....
I know I haven't been the most exemplary father...
...for the past three or 15 years.
But I'm gonna need your help to get through this.
From this point forward, we're going to be a family again.
What the hell is that?
KEVIN: Ready, set, go.
Go, go, go.
Aah!
Oh, my God.
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
Hey, the piano.
[PLAYING BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY]
I didn't know Frank played the piano.
Neither did I.
FRANK [SINGING]: Just walk away, walk out the door
Just turn around now
[ALL LAUGH THEN SING]
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one Who tried to hurt me with good-bye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
I can't believe you guys are buying into all of his bullshit.
Come on. I'll walk you home.
What difference does it make? He'll be drinking by tomorrow.
No. Not when money's involved.
Damn. What's wrong with cranky pants tonight?
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
I mean, it's family night.
"Got caught up. Check in with you tomorrow."
-That from Steve? -Yeah.
He was acting weird this morning after Candace texted him.
Said he works with her. Don't know if I believe him.
Okay, any requests?
"Carry Me Home on the Cross"?
-Thanks for dinner. -You supplied the spaghetti.
Yeah, with no sauce? I'm hanging by a thread.
You're talking to someone...
-...who's renting a kid for money. -Heh.
-Gotta find something more permanent. -Like what?
Could take a PowerPoint class. Or Sticks and Skates may be hiring.
You mean, Dicks and Dates?
Maybe Frank will stay sober and get the cash.
Maybe I'll win the lottery.
Hey, you think Steve's lying?
Probably.
-If I find out he is, I'm done with him. -Done with who?
Steve. He's getting text messages from some bitch named Candace.
Candace? Uh-oh. That sounds like a woman you have an affair with.
FIONA & VERONICA: It does? -No.
Please. That fool doesn't have enough game to cheat.
-Did you ask him if he was? -He said he wasn't.
Then you have two choices, believe him or don't.
Or you could let your suspicions grow...
...until you turn into the ice queen and act like he's invisible.
Until he starts sending anonymous threatening notes...
...and you report his ass to the po-po.
Ha, ha. Who was that? Brian?
-Brian, Joey, Michael, heh. -Heh.
Every guy you've been with, you cut and run.
Maybe it's time you tried something new.
-Damn, baby, that was good. -Being a dad brings out the best in me.
You're not a dad.
We got a football game starting out. Shirts against skins.
-Sweet. FRANK: Uh....
You two are skins.
I have no idea what PowerPoint is, but you're smart.
I know you're gonna be great at it.
Hello?
Anybody here?
-I'm home. -Hey, there he is.
Little brother. Flight from Detroit okay?
-Yeah, yeah, fine. -Yeah? How's school?
Ah, piece of cake so far.
That's what you get for going to Michigan instead of Harvard.
-Oh! You set me up for that, huh? -Huh, huh? You didn't see that coming.
Sorry to drag you back to Chicago for all this.
-How's the practice? -Busy.
Thank God for fast food and stress. It's a platinum Amex for cardiologists.
WOMAN: Hey, you. -Hey.
-I missed you. -Mm, thanks.
We're all in the kitchen having tea.
-Yeah. I'll be right there. -I'll tell your mother.
I got three fucking kids at home and you're going balls deep in that.
You're fucking killing me, Jimmy.
Welcome home.
First pub crawl I did was when I was 16.
Hit 22 pubs before I hurled.
Got right back on the horse, hit 10 more, hurled again.
That's how I got the nickname Boot and Rally.
-Cool. -Ha, ha.
Anyone seen the laptop?
What's going on in here?
Daddy made us some Mickey Mouse pancakes.
FIONA: Are you serious? -Mm-hm.
What did I tell you? Still not drinking till he gets his money.
-If I ever drink again. -Right.
-Java's my vice now. -Drunk or sober, you're still an asshole.
-Lip. -It's okay, Deb.
Everyone's got a right to his opinion. That's what makes this country so great.
-Want orange juice? -Yeah.
Where'd you get this to make breakfast?
Traded some old Hustler magazines with Rusty the drunk.
He's a dishwasher at the Denny's over on West 95th Street. You want some OJ?
FIONA: No. Oh.
Found it. I'm taking this to the job center.
Come on, Debs, Carl, grab your coats. Told Kev we'd be over in five.
-That weird girl have to come with us? -Where you going?
Bowling. Lip knows a kid who can get us in for free. Wanna come?
-No, Debs. I don't think he can. -Hey, I'd love to come.
Just let me clean this place up first.
-Okay. FRANK: Excuse me.
-What? -Clear the table.
Hey, the Gallaghers invited us to go bowling.
-What are you doing? -Veronica asked me to do her chores.
-She would help me with mine next week. -No.
-What? -Put that down. Put that down.
Look, I know the Bible says you get closer to God and crap...
...if you sew the holes in my socks, but this is just wrong. It's Saturday.
In my house, the way to get closer to God on Saturday is to play.
-Is that in Ezekiel? -Yeah, the updated version.
-Change out of that Laura Ingalls dress. -Oh, yes, sir.
And don't call me sir.
We are gonna have so much fun.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Yeah. It's open.
Hey, Ethel, let's get a move on, huh?
Holy fuck.
-I am ready for you, sir. -What are you doing?
Clyde had me on Tuesdays, but if you want me on Saturday--
No, I don't want you on Saturdays.
Hey, Kev, we're all ready to--
[LAUGHS]
-I-- -No, Lip. Lip, wait.
No, you use "me" because it's the object of the preposition.
So it's, "with Max and me"?
-Yup. -It sounds weird.
-I'm telling you, it's right. -Heh, okay.
[MICKEY BELCHES]
Douche bags.
Ass face.
-Gotta go to the bathroom. -Hold the handle down when you flush.
Okay.
Hey? Do you want a pizza bagel?
Sure.
Show of hands, how many of you know Word?
All right. Microsoft Excel?
Let's get started. Gladys, can you get the lights?
Open up the PowerPoint template which can be found in your Microsoft suite.
In the dialog box, enter the title of your presentation.
Take a moment now to use the tool bar...
...and experiment with color, font and size of your text.
I must warn you, I have bowled before.
Hey, you wanna put some money on it? Just for fun.
That's what I'm talking about. Yes.
-For you. I love you. CARL: Yeah.
-Did you see that? DEBBIE: Yeah.
CARL: Go dad. -I'm hot, ho, ho.
Look out.
Guys, don't get too used to this, okay?
What?
Well, Dad's not always gonna be so nice.
Yes, he will.
No. Not when he starts drinking again, okay?
He'll go back to his ways. I don't want you getting hurt.
-Hurt? FRANK: All right, Deb. Here's a spare.
-Yeah. LIP: Yeah, um....
Remember that turtle you had last summer?
-Walter? -Yeah, yeah, Walter.
And you guys were really, really into him for like two weeks...
...and you talked to him and you fed him.
I mean, you took him everywhere with you, right?
But after a while, you know, you guys got busy with other things...
...so Walter's water never got changed and nobody fed him.
Then like two months later...
...Debs, you wanted to show off Walter to your friend Susie...
...and you guys started looking for him and when you found him...
...he was all dried up and dead.
Now, you see, you guys are that turtle, okay?
And Dad's you.
You get what I'm saying?
Dad's buying us another turtle?
No.
No, no. Forget it. Never mind.
Don't worry, Lip, I get it.
Daddy's gonna forget about us when he starts drinking again.
It's okay. I don't mind.
I'm gonna enjoy this while it lasts if that's okay.
Yeah. Sure, Debs. That's, um....
That's a good plan.
It took you long enough.
Yeah. Your dad was in there forever.
Shove over, faggots.
Watch and learn.
No worries.
COMMENTATOR [ON TV]: --in period number three.
-Okay. MAN: Okay.
-That's, uh, 36 bucks. -I got it.
Keep the change, darling.
Thanks.
[ALL CHUCKLING]
[IAN GRUNTS]
-Hey, sorry I'm late. -No biggie.
Good news.
Linda's done with me this month.
Oh, yeah?
Maybe we could, um, adjust the cameras for old times' sake?
[DOOR OPENS]
FRANK: "Then I hear it. Several pairs of feet breaking into a run.
The fire starter must have dozed off. They're on her before she can escape...."
Any chance of you getting a job...
-...now that you're sober? DEBBIE: Shh!
We're getting to the part where Katniss releases the jackers that kill Glimmer.
Dinner in the kitchen if you want.
"Then, there's laughter and congratulations from several voices.
'Twelve down, 11 to go.'"
[SIGHS]
[CRYING]
Hey, I'm going out.
What's up?
Hard day.
Why are you so upset with Dad?
Fiona, we've, uh, been through this before. Remember?
The last time Dad was sober.
Yeah. So?
He, uh, had a bet with some guy at the bar and became the perfect dad.
It was the first time he ever came to little league.
And, uh, I hit a double.
Fucking never saw him so proud.
You knew he was gonna go back to his regular shitty self.
No, that's, uh, the thing.
I didn't know.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
-Hi. -What are you doing?
I was, uh, gonna go back, check out that lab. You wanna come?
Okay.
Why didn't you just go to the front door?
This seemed more romantic.
-I didn't know if you were with someone. -Jason snuck out an hour ago.
-Jason Pierce? -Maybe.
Heh, he just showed me a website to steal music. I'll be right down.
All right.
[VERONICA GROWLS]
Not even in the mood, V.
-What's up? -You know what's up.
Is this about the kid?
-Yeah. -What now?
You made her do your chores and you promised to do hers next week?
-So? -You lied to her.
-She's not even gonna be here. -What's the big deal? She's a freak.
V, that girl needs us. You heard that messed up story of hers.
She thought I wanted to have sex with her today.
-What? -Yeah, sex.
A 13-year-old girl.
Who knows what crazy family she's gonna get if we give her back.
Kevin, we're not keeping her.
I think we should until she gets a permanent home.
We could help her live like a normal child.
-This is none of our business. -We signed on for it.
No, you signed on for it. I signed on for the money.
-Where are you going? -I'm sleeping on the couch.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SHEILA CRYING]
Mom?
What's wrong?
Frank left.
No, he didn't. He's at the Gallagher's.
Because he's lost interest in me.
Lip says he'll be back to normal as soon as he starts drinking again.
-You think so? -I do.
[CHUCKLES]
[THUDS]
-What the hell is that? -What?
-Dad, what are you doing? -You fucking kidding me?
Remodeling. Son, grab that copper wire. It's worth a lot of money these days.
-No. Dad, stop. -Why the fuck is our couch on the wall?
We need a fresh start.
-There's a gas line right there. -Oh.
All right. Fine. We'll start the demolition in the bathroom, kids.
CARL: Yeah. FRANK: Okay, heh.
Good. Good.
[LIP SIGHS]
Last time he ripped up the floor boards. Remember?
FIONA: Shit.
Said he was gonna put in Saltillo tiles. Of course, never did.
Yeah, and I had to date that flooring guy for a month to get him to finish the work.
What are we gonna do?
DEBBIE: We have to kill the turtle.
Daddy and Carl are up in the attic to cut a hole in the roof for a skylight.
-It's time to kill the turtle. LIP: Uh....
Debs, you know that you guys are the turtle in my story, right?
Oh, right.
-That's okay. I get what you're saying. DEBBIE: Thanks.
-You sure about this? -It'll hurt less...
...than if we wait two more weeks.
-Okay. -What's up with the turtle?
You wouldn't understand.
[SIGHS]
[SAW WHIRRING]
Daddy, help. I think I see a mouse.
FRANK: A mouse? Uh, hold on. I'll be right down.
[FRANK GRUNTS]
Where is the little--?
[GRUNTING]
I thought the taser didn't work.
Yeah. I just told Carl that.
I took the batteries out.
All right, open his mouth.
FRANK: No. No.
No. No. No.
[BUZZING]
What happened?
It's better this way, Carl.
VERONICA: You seen Kev? -He went to play basketball.
VERONICA: Oh.
How about some breakfast? I make a mean French toast.
Come on. Put the Brillo down.
Sit.
When I was a kid, my mother would make...
...anything we wanted for dinner on our birthday.
I always asked for French toast.
-Hey. -Hey.
We're having French toast.
Cool.
I'm gonna take a shower. Be right back.
Could I ask a favor, please?
Sure, sweetie.
If I'm gonna be staying here for a while...
...would it be all right if my son Jonah came to visit?
It is absolutely critical that as we move to get recovery back on track...
...that we commit to the American people...
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
MAN [ON TV]: ...that if we get on a path...
Just bracelet. No bone.
MAN: Now, again, we propose to do that...
I'm so sorry I've been MIA. I just had to....
I didn't even notice.
Come on, little Tim Geithner's telling us how everything's okay.
-Frank. -Fuck off.
[DOOR OPENS]
Are you drunk?
-That I am. -Heh.
[FRANK SIGHS] eh.