Big bro!
I've uploaded a new video.
- Like-share-comment on it? - Where is Deepali?
Been a while she hasn't come online.
No one knows.
You've ruined her career.
She hasn't posted anything new either.
- Poor thing got trolled... - You fucker pranked me?
- Kevin? - You fucking bastard!
Hello? Yo Vinny?
- You think I'm like that numbnut Rishi? - Vinny!
Vinny! Vinny!
Vinny!
- Kevin! Vinny! Yo Vinny! - You pea brain prick!
Vinny! Vinny!
Vinny!
Why?
I like it.
Okay baby, you go get a banana, I'll go get milk.
Bottle?
Yes, I do have it.
It's small.
Glass?
It's big.
You seeing that, fucker?
Scissors?
Oh fuck, baby...
- You enjoying it, eh? - Hey! Why did you pause it?
I think he was about to lose his knickers.
He did. I did.
I lose both, my knickers and my reputation.
That too 170,683 times.
- You think this is funny? - I didn't do it.
Check out the point of view.
It is clearly your butterfly!
Neena?
Hmm.
The "special" girl.
Fuck!
Blocked?
Move, you fucker!
What the fuck!
Slow down.
Careful.
Fuck, she unfriended me.
Bro, aren't these your techniques?
Doctor gave you a taste of your own medicine.
Now this bitch is calling to add insult to injury.
Let me do it.
What the fuck is it, Pooja?
- You? Pooja-- - Neena.
It seems like you're in love with this Pooja chick.
You take Pooja's name whenever I call you.
Hi, Kevin.
Hi, Neena.
Who is this Pooja chick?
Is she pretty?
Is she very pretty?
Pooja, are you very pretty?
Ta-da!
Now it will be a tad difficult to forget me, no?
Oh hi, Kevin.
Hi!
Prateek, the first time I saw your profile,
you know how I felt?
- I wanted to fuck... - Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Bro, these girls are very clever.
Don't worry, we'll...
No-no-no, not the chokeslam, not the chokeslam!
Fuck!
It is time I benefit from the shitty shenanigans that you fucker keep doing.
Use your filthy mind to its maximum capacity and create the filthiest shit you can.
I have her videos.
Cut-copy-paste, do whatever you can do with them.
Make sure that her video is so embarrassing that she...
Wait-wait-wait...
- More embarrassing than your video? - Yes.
That will be difficult, bro.
But I will try, I will try.
We'll fuck over this motherfucking bitch!
No, I don't want okra.
Psst!
Hmm?
Turn it off.
'Hey, it didn't do me any harm.'
Hey!
Hey, she asked me out.
Hey master, I'm just making your bed.
Who are you?
Wild Butterfly, master.
No, Wild Butterfly is someone else.
Oh.
Well, I'm her now, master.
All for you.
Would you...would you like some Tea?
I'm right here master. Come on, don't you see me?
We're going to have some fun.
Don't I look sexier than the rest, Pokerboy?
Hmm?
Stop irritating me, where is Wild Butterfly?
Master, trust me, I can be even wilder, you know.
What's this thing you guys do?
Don't you all get to eat?
It's funny, not sexy at all.
It's okay master, your anger turns me on, master.
But you don't.
Asketh and thou shall receiveth.
Seeketh and thou shall findeth.
If thou knocketh, the doors shall be opened.
The world is bestowed upon the courageous and faithful.
For the...
For the Lord shall not forsake the men who embraceth Him.
Love, the character's name is the rapping nun.
Rap?
That's not very nun like.
Babe, God is not even Godlike anymore.
He's updated himself.
You know he's not this white old man in the clouds somewhere.
He's probably something new now.
Like a pill, or a supplement, or working in a call-centre somewhere.
So the way we reach out to him has to change too.
Maybe a DM or a Snap or...
Rap.
Exactly.
Okay.
Brothers?
But it's not even Friday.
No, it's not.
Listen, listen, I have...
I've said this to you many times now and I'm going to say it again.
The problem with a few people is not that they say something wrong...
It's the fact that they didn't say enough,
or they didn't say anything at all.
You hear me, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Nabeel? Hi.
Brother, the call is connected.
Nabeel?
You should talk to her calmly.
Assalamu Alaikum [Greetings], brother.
- Valekum Salaam [Greetings]. - How's your job?
It's good.
I get a lot of calls.
- Hmm. - Good.
You can attend to calls from here also.
You should come back.
Come back.
What's wrong?
Since when have you been doing this?
Don't look at him.
I am the one who asked you a question.
- Brother, I was going to tell you. - You told me to
send her abroad to study, I agreed.
You told me to allow her to work in a call centre, I agreed.
Now you expect me to allow her to work in a whore house?
Disgusting.
So Fawad Khan also works in a whore house, huh?
What about Ali Zafar?
And the drama serial Tanhaiyaan? That's a whore house too?
Come on, brother.
It's just a hobby, let her pursue it.
A hobby, brother?
Men make it a hobby to lust over such girls.
Imran, Tahir, Junaid, Shahid...
You know nothing about it.
I am the one who is embarrassed.
I am the one who has to go out and face my friends.
Calm down, Nabeel.
She just went there, brother.
How can she just leave everything and come back?
What can possibly happen in three years?
A wedding and two kids.
Look, my child, acting is forbidden.
That's all I have to say.
If I don't stop you now,
then because of you, the doors of heaven will be closed to all of us.
That's why you must come back.
Please, brother.
Give me some more time.
I have a few more auditions.
Please let me.
Ever heard of Qandeel Baloch?
- Nabeel! - Bilal!
- Let Nabeel talk. - Brother, you...
What are you trying to say?
Go ahead, Nabeel.
She used to do immoral things,
so her brothers killed her.
If you follow Qandeel's path then I'll have no choice
but to follow the path her brothers took.
- You scoundrel! - Bilal!
Do you have any idea about what you're saying?
- You should talk some sense into her. - Bilal!
- I'll talk you later. You-- - Brother--
Good afternoon, ma'am.
Wow, thank you so much.
This is beautiful.
Ma'am, I'd prefer it if you said that on your page.
Okay.
Phone, ma'am.
Excuse me?
Ma'am...
Okay.
People who visit my page won't visit your café,
but I'll still post.
Hello!
Thanks, ma'am.
Ma'am!
Give me my phone.
- Hello? - Excuse me ma'am, I'll be back.
- Can I have my phone back, please? - Excuse me?
- Hello? - Actually, I am expecting a guest.
Could you guide him to me, please?
Sure.
Nice place.
Give me some love
Hi.
You don't start, please.
Or we'll be featuring in another viral video.
Let me start?
Okay?
- Okay. - Okay.
Hi, Rishi. How are you?
I am good.
I've featured in a lot of memes.
#bereaved, #heartbroken, #FUBAR, #Iwillpayyou,#...
Okay-okay-okay, stop-stop-stop.
Fine, let's not talk about this, okay?
Shush... trash.
Come, let me treat you with the best dairy free, sugar free,
lactose free and gluten free ice cream.
Why don't just offer me an ice cube instead?
Ah sassy, eh!
- Ahh no no. - I'm a fitness freak.
Anyway, someone views my stories as soon as I post them.
Then the memes are right.
#loser, #stalker, #duffer...
#cute?
Shall we?
Hi. Can I have one 99 gelato, please?
Sure, ma'am.
- Thank you. - Yeah.
What about you?
Ma'am.
- Thank you. - Can I have the flavour of the month,
in a medium sized cone please?
Can you see it, sir?
No.
It means it's over, sir.
But it's mentioned over there.
Yes, it is.
But it isn't available here.
Where are your manners?
I just got viral.
I have received 84,000 views.
Would you like to see it?
Here, look, it has 20,000 more views now.
I can shut down your business with just one post.
Why do you put up such posters when you don't have the flavour of the month?
- Sir... - I don't want to talk to you.
- Call the manager. - Sir-sir-sir!
What?
- I'll go get it for you. - Yes, go and get it.
- Wait here, I'll go and get it. - Yes, go and get it.
Good.
Is that you?
Yeah.
You have changed, man.
Really.
A friend helped me change.
Well, then you should thank that friend of yours on my behalf.
Okay.
Sir.
Sorry, we don't have it.
You don't have the flavour of the month?
No, sir.
Just a second.
- Come closer, please. - Sure, sir.
So this guy, who is smiling over here, doesn't have the flavour of the month.
What's the name of your shop?
Please don't do this, sir.
People should know where they shouldn't come.
- Please don't do this, sir. - I am sure it must be mentioned here somewhere.
Please sir, ma'am...
So guys, this is the name of their shop, their ice cream parlour.
- You should not come... - Rishi, Rishi, Rishi...
- My followers... - Let it be. Let it be, okay?
It's the flavour of the month.
It is over because that's what everyone must have tried.
Why don't you try another flavour? They have strawberry, there's mango.
There's black current, if you want.
I thought we were not going to talk about it.
Share?
Okay.
Hey, I'll...
It's okay.
Here you go.
Thank you, ma'am.
Relax, it happens even to the best of us.
I too goofed up once.
You know, mom was going to the market and I texted her that I want a pillow,
because my pillow had lost its hardness.
And I like it hard, otherwise I can't sleep well.
You know what her reply was?
She was like, "What the hell is wrong with you, Richa?"
Your order, ma'am.
Thank you.
Enjoy, ma'am.
Thanks.
Could you please give me my phone for a minute?
I need my phone for a minute.
Hello? I am talking to you.
Can you please give me my phone?
Excuse me, I am talking to you.
I need to talk to your manager.
Yes, ma'am?
Yeah please, I need my phone for a minute.
Sure, ma'am.
I'll go get it.
Go, get it.
'The number you are trying to reach is out of coverage area.'
'The number you are trying to reach is currently switched off.'
'Please try again later.'
Excuse me, ma'am?
Is everything okay?
Can I get the check please?
No ma'am, it's on the house.
I only had one request, that review?
I'll just...
Hey guys, do you feel like disconnecting from the world sometimes,
to connect with someone special?
Yeah! Woohoo!
- Where you going bro? - Coming.
Give me five minutes. I'll be there.
- Coming in five.
Woohoo!
I was so scared, you know!
I was petrified.
I won't come tomorrow onwards.
Oh... give me a second.
Hi baby, where were you?
I miss you so much.
Okay.
So, what did you do today?
Nothing much.
So are you all set?
Yes.
- You need to say something? - I need to say something.
What?
Well...
What!
My company isn't releasing me.
Remember the bond that I signed?
Just a second, Didi.
Who's that bitch?
Who?
The white bitch.
Which white bitch?
The one because of whom you don't want to come back to India,
and are using this bond as an excuse.
No Shikha, that's not true.
It's just that...
It's just... I don't want to come back.
I love it here.
You were right, Shikha.
It takes time to like something.
And now I love everything.
God knows why I love black coffee.
Keeps you energised all day long.
And cornflakes?
They have 50 different flavours and all of them are delicious.
I don't feel lazy at all.
Shikha, here if you greet someone they just greet you and move on.
They don't get personal.
I love the independence, I love the freedom.
And you know the best part about these people?
No.
Exactly.
"No."
People here know how to say "no".
Shikha, people here say yes only if they can do your work.
Otherwise, they bluntly refuse.
They don't make any false promises.
What do you want me to say?
That...
This is...
You want others to say what you can't say for yourself.
You want to come back but you want to hear it from me or your parents.
You want to ruin your presentation but you want to hear it from us.
You want to wear a red shirt but you want us to say:
"Baby wear that red shirt, you look so good in it."
You just...
You just need validation from somebody else.
What do you want?
You want to settle down there?
You want to come back after five years?
What do you want?
I don't know.
I am confused.
And where do I fit in, in this confusion of yours?
Shikha baby, I love you.
I have not even looked at one girl here.
All my friends tease me calling me "one woman man."
Can't you come here?
Like this?
I don't think so.
But baby, I love you.
I have not even looked at one girl here. All my friends tease me.
Yeah, you just told me. Then?
Can you wait for me?
Just for a few years?
What if you change?
What if you end up liking an American girl in the next five years?
I swear Shikha, I won't change.
I promise you I won't change.
You have started liking the very things you hated about America,
and you say that you won't change?
What else?
This is not how we used to talk, Vikas.
You never used to put me on hold and talk to your friends.
There are times...
God you're making me sound like those typical girlfriends but...
But...but you know what? I'm going to say it.
There are times when you sound bored
when you speak to me after you've spoken to them.
Like you were happy to talk to them but are bored to talk to me.
You are my Gogu, Shikha.
It's just that I hang out with these guys...
There are times when I want to share something with you but then I stop myself,
because I think you might not find it funny,
because you don't know the thing that makes it funny.
I feel trapped.
If you still think that I am wrong then tell me what I should do.
Even this you want me to tell you...
Don't hang in between, pick a side.
Either don't change at all or change yourself completely.
See what comes naturally to you,
to be an Indian or to be an American,
to say yes or to say no.
As far as I am concerned,
I can't do this anymore.
I am sorry.
Bye.