[Iron Man narrating] An alien named the Beyonder took pieces of worlds,
then mashed them together to build Battleworld.
[Captain America narrating] The people from those places, including the Avengers,
were brought to this world.
The Beyonder calls this his experiment.
We call it twisted and dangerous.
Now with Loki on our side, we're rebuilding a new Bifrost
so we can undo Battleworld and the Beyonder's experiment and send everyone home.
What we need next is Vibranium,
an element even rarer here than back on Earth.
And we're gonna need a lot of it.
Thieves have been rumored to be selling Vibranium in the west.
So to catch a thief, we're sending our former thief,
the best man for the job. [snoring]
I know it's super important that we get back home to Earth,
but can we please take a moment to acknowledge
just how awesome Battleworld is? [snoring continues]
Huh? Huh? Well, yeah, if by awesome, you mean, I'm awesomely terrified
that the Avengers are counting on me not to screw up, then yes.
You know, I'm not even sure if Battleworld has ants.
Mm. Now I'm all bummed out. [monitor beeping]
Ant-Man, we got something. Over there!
O.M.G.! It's Atlantis! Or Monster Island.
I know you've been before, but I'm just dying to--
Whoa, Ms. Marvel. Hold up.
Is that--
A pirate ship? [grunts] [loud blast]
[both yell] [alarm blaring]
[Ant-Man] We're going down!
[yelling]
[Ant-Man] Don't worry! I got this!
[both grunt]
Huh?
My, my. What have we here?
A couple of stowaways.
[Ms. Marvel] Typhoid Mary.
[Ant-Man] Ugh! Typhoid Mary? [screeches]
[chittering] Hey! That's mine!
We're not stowaways. You shot us out of the sky!
Mm, no, I didn't.
Yes, you did!
I think I'd remember doing that. Oh, goody! This'll be fun.
You know what we do with stowaways, don't you?
You make them walk the plank?
Actually, no.
I was planning on dropping you off at the nearest port, even Stephens.
But walk the plank?! Now, that's a great idea, sweetheart!
Why didn't I think of that?
Nice one. [awkward chuckle]
Gather round, you land-lubbin', scurvy-ridden swine!
See what happens to those who oppose Captain Bloody Typhoid Mary.
Um, I don't see a crew.
Aye. We were 20 strong
when we set sail from Port Hydra,
seeking a treasure so grand,
the very sight of it has driven many men mad.
Four days into crossing the Sea of Bitter Tears,
the men were seasick, suffering from dysentery.
The trip couldn't get any better. When, suddenly, there was a--
Oh, shoot. What's the word? Oh, yeah.
A mutiny. So the crew had to go.
Wha-- "Go"? Go, go, like, they swam somewhere?
A nice little island, maybe?
Swim? [giggles] You're cute.
They couldn't swim. But all their splashing sure got the sharks' attention.
So your old crew is gone, and you've got no crew steering the ship?
I've got it under control.
Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. The plank!
It's just water.
But oh, while you're down there, could you do something about all those sharks?
They keep following me around. It's so annoying.
Can't you, like, call some crustaceans to come rescue us?
What do I look like? Shrimp-Boy?
[gasps]
[growls]
Oh, drat! Dread-Skull is here.
"Dread-Skull"? You mean "Red Skull"?
Aye. [grunts]
The Skull rules these here waters.
That's why they call it the Red Skull Sea.
Who's "they"?
[Ms. Marvel] Red Skull and Crossbones.
Okay, guys, I know we both said some things we regret.
So, how about we call a truce, let bygones be bygones,
then you two help me fight Red Skull?
Seriously? You think we're gonna help you
after you were about to walk us off a plank?
Plank? Pfft! What plank?
I don't even think this ship comes with a plank. [laughs]
Look, sweetheart, either you sail with me or rot in Red Skull's brig.
Your choice.
[annoyed groans]
I'll need my helmet back. Koko, helmet!
[groans] Ouch.
[screeching] I hate that monkey.
To your battle stations!
Don't worry. They only go after pirates.
You're a pirate! Don't worry!
I've got a plan for that.
We are in over our heads.
We gotta get away from this ship and back to our mission.
Yeah, okay, this is ridiculous, but we can handle the situation.
We're Avengers. [metallic squeaking]
The whole reason I got out of the thief-for-hire business
was to avoid the unbalanced and unpredictably evil.
[whispering] Psst! Guys! Guys!
I think the flag is working! [grunts]
Yep, definitely working! [yelling]
You were saying? [grunts]
Scuttle the ship, destroy the Avengers,
but I want Typhoid Mary alive!
Fire!
[cannons continue firing]
I'm afraid to ask,
but why is Red Skull trying to blow us out of the water?
Mm, someone might have stolen his treasure map.
By any chance, was that someone you?
Hmm? I'm not sure how that's relevant to our current situation.
Anyhoo, the map leads to the richest cache
of Vibranium on Battleworld. [grunts]
Vibranium? Um, yeah.
Why do you think they call it the Vibranium Coast?
Try and keep up, darlings. [wind howling]
She's got ya there.
We're not gonna outrun them, but maybe we can outgun them.
Ms. Marvel, help me load this thing.
[Ms. Marvel] Grow disc locked and loaded. [beeping]
[Ant-Man] Fire!
Incoming! [grunts]
[all yelling]
[water splashing]
Nice embiggening!
[chuckles] Red Skull looks miserable.
Betcha they've had enough and are gonna retreat.
Bring her about! Port cannons on my command! Fire!
You may take me, but you'll never take my crew alive, Skull!
As if that mattered at all.
Skullbots, brace for impact!
[Crossbones] Yaargh!
[both yell]
[Ant-Man] Prepare to repel boarders!
Too late. We're in trouble.
Uh-oh.
[grunting]
[grunts]
Oh. They're made out of metal.
You'll never take my ship alive, you ugly, rusty buckets!
[grunts]
Did she just sink her own ship? Because it sure looks like she sunk her own ship.
"By order of His Excellency, Admiral Skull,
"we hereby seize this vessel,
her goods, and passengers."
I cannot believe you sunk my ship!
What kind of sick monster sinks another person's ship for absolutely no reason?
You do realize you sunk your own ship, and you shot our ship out of the sky?
Hmm? I don't remember that.
What do you mean you don't remember that?
Okay, I think you may have
mixed me up with someone else, Shrimp-Boy.
That is your name, right? Wait. Don't tell me. I don't care.
Ugh! Why does she get a chair?
Enough stalling! Tell me what you've done with the stolen map.
[grunting] Oh.
Is this the map you're looking for?
Ugh! Don't ya hate it when that happens?
Without that chart, there's no way to find the treasure.
Ugh! I know that, you fool.
But I know Typhoid Mary wouldn't have destroyed the map,
not unless she committed the route to memory.
Isn't that right, Mary?
If I lead you to the treasure, I get to keep it. Fairsies?
This is not a negotiation.
No, it's a sword, silly.
Tie her to the ship's mast.
Perhaps being pecked at by gulls will loosen her tongue.
Ooh, don't get my hopes up.
Take her away!
What about these reject Avengers?
Lock them in the brig.
They may be of use, should their friends arrive.
Skullbot?
Wonder what he did. If there was more tech around,
maybe I could jury-rig some way to disable these power dampeners,
or get us outta here. Look, we got into this mess.
Well, technically, Typhoid Mary got us into this mess.
But we can get ourselves out of it.
We're Avengers, right? So, that's what we'll do.
This would be easier to do with my powers.
[grunts]
[grunting]
[yells] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [gasps]
Hoo. Got it. [clears throat]
Sorry. Mm.
Well, I don't even know if this thing'll do any good.
Oh, hey, never mind. I got it.
Master thief, remember?
Gotta dust off those skills once in a while.
[gulls screeching] [grunting, laughing]
Ow! [laughs] Hey, that tickles!
Hey, where are you going? We're just getting started.
Was it something I said?
[grunts] [metallic clinking on ground]
You get your helmet. I'll get Typhoid Mary
and then figure out how to get far away from here.
Be careful. Why start now?
Mm-hmm.
[chittering] [grunts]
The prisoners are loose! Blast 'em!
♪♪ [humming]
[door closes] Huh?
Uhh...
You!
Me. That!
[growls]
[yells] [grunts]
[both grunting]
[chuckles] [knuckles crack]
You wouldn't break out of the brig alone.
Now tell me where your friends are. Ha!
You'll never find them. By now, they've escaped and are miles away.
Oh. Didn't expect to see you again so soon.
Slight change in plans.
[screeching] [grunts]
Boss, they were trying to escape.
I'm aware of the situation.
No point in resisting.
There is no escape from the Dread-Skull.
[chitters]
I love a good challenge. Koko, helmet!
[chitters, screeches]
[chittering] [grunts]
[groans] [grunts]
Fool! Your parlor tricks won't work.
There's no means of escape for you.
[grunts] [Ant-Man] I found a way out, and it is gonna be so cool!
Ms. Marvel, a little hand here.
Anytime.
[grunts]
Shoot them!
No.
[gunfire continues]
[Ant-Man] All aboard!
[screeches, chitters] [screams]
[water splashes] Bon voyage, Red Skull!
Avast ye, Avengers!
Bu-- I thought--
Can't believe you all fell for a little sleight of hand.
Now, let's see where we're going.
According to the chart, we stick to this heading,
sail the narrow channel between all these islands,
then skirt past a sea monster, and boom--
No Treasure Here Island.
[wind howling]
She has no idea what she's doing.
We'll figure it out. We've gotten this far, right?
[thunderous thud] No, no, no, no!
Come about!
[Ms. Marvel] Too late! Find something that floats and hold on!
[Typhoid Mary] Land ho! [groaning]
[annoyed groan]
I told ya we'd find it. [chitters]
Never said we'd be in one piece when I did.
[chitters] Oh, drat.
Aw, nuts. They followed us.
Yep, that seems about right.
Those suckers are taking the scenic route.
Come on. I know a shortcut.
Hold up, T.M. You've been here before?
Who's got two thumbs and buried the treasure here in the first place?
[muffled squeal]
We'd better get to it before they do. [chitters]
Hmm. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
Are you sure this is the way?
One thousand and two percent. [screeches]
[chittering] What's got her so spooked?
You know, guys, sometimes the path less traveled
is, uh, less traveled for a reason.
Oh, relax. The cannibals are on the complete other side of the island.
And I'm pretty sure they're vegan. [brush rustling]
Koko! Come out here this instant.
We don't have time for shenanigans.
[roaring]
[apes roaring]
Aah! You're not Koko. Wrong way!
[howling]
Do we even want to know
what you did to make the apes so angry? [grunts]
It could have something to do with Koko being betrothed to the troop's alpha,
and her running off with me. Oh, great.
Angry, jilted monkey wants revenge.
[yells] [howling continues]
Typhoid Mary, we need to talk about the meaning of "shortcut."
[laughs] It worked! What worked?
Am I missing something?
Yeah! They're digging in the wrong place!
[crackling] Mm.
Careful! [both grunt]
I can't believe I almost got squashed by a primitive security system.
Hey, buddy, watch who you're calling primitive. [crackling]
[all scream]
Eh, my bad. Forgot about that one.
"O" marks the spot?
[all grunting] [shovels thudding]
Could really use some ants right now.
[clank]
[grunts]
"I owe you one treasure. Signed, Typhoid Mary."
What? Don't you guys trust me?
Not even a little. Nope!
Hmm.
[Ant-Man, Ms. Marvel] Ohh.
[Ms. Marvel gasps] The Vibranium!
Well, that was easy.
Got it. Now we need to call the Avengers.
[Dread-Skull] Guten Tag!
No more tricks, Mary. Where's the Vibranium?
Um, what Vibranium?
The Vibranium we just dug up.
Weren't you paying attention? There's a ton of it!
Yeesh, you guys don't remember anything.
[annoyed groan]
Captured twice in one day.
I think that's a new record for me.
Three, actually, if you count--
Any last words, pirate scum?
Yes!
[ululating yell]
[yell echoing]
Hmm? [mumbling shrug]
[shrieking]
[chitters]
Hmm?
[screeching]
[all howling]
Thanks, mate!
[grunts] [grunts]
[clicks] Nowhere to run this time!
[grunts]
[yells, grunts] [grunts]
[groans] [howling continues]
You ready to embrace the crazy? [grunts]
Not really, but we're gonna do it anyway.
Yarr, matey!
[chitters] Get 'em, girls!
[apes howling]
[yells]
[grunts]
[roars]
I only took Koko on a little bachelorette weekend before the big day.
You can't stay mad forever.
[growls]
So, truce? [chitters]
[agreeable grunt]
Good thing my parents let me take fencing.
Fine. If you insist, I'll take the treasure myself.
[yells] [yells]
[both grunting]
Huh?
[grunts] Ms. Marvel, I've got a primitive idea.
Do it! I got this! [grunts]
[yells]
[grunts, growls]
Looks like your friend cut and ran.
Ready to give up now?
Never! Come on, you muckrakes!
Have at you!
[all grunting]
Now I've got you.
[Ant-Man] So long, barnacle breath!
[grunts]
You think a net can stop me?
[both groaning]
Arr, matey.
[Iron Man] I found the Avenjet wreckage,
but no sign of Ant-Man or Ms. Marvel.
They've gotta be out here somewhere. [beeps]
Heavey-ho, you salty sea apes!
Put your back into it!
[cackling]
[Iron Man] Let me get this straight. You two just let Typhoid Mary go?
We kinda had to. We couldn't have completed our mission without her help.
Well, then, I respect that choice.
We're not in trouble?
Looks to me like you both made the right call.
With the odds stacked against you,
you made a leadership decision, and it paid off.
Of course, having such an excellent role model doesn't hurt.
This is more than enough Vibranium to rebuild the Bifrost.
Great work, you guys. Now what say we get back to the base?
[both] Aye, Captain.