[eerie music playing]
[whimsical music playing]
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
Well, if it isn't the deadbeat.
Well, if it isn't Nurse Pussy Face.
You ain't getting in here.
How many times do I have to sodomize you with a Taser
before you take a hint?
As many as it takes to get me off.
Now, enough with this foreplay. Where's Barb?
She checked out months ago.
-But that ain't none of your business. -Wait, what?
Wait, how? This is-- Where-where-where the fuck did she go?
-[crackling] -Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you, ass clown.
You know I kill people for a living, right, bitch?
Oh, I'm so fucking scared.
[sighs]
Fine.
Blitzo,
she's got a job now, a life.
Don't fuck it up by finding her.
Oh, that's nice. Why don't you take that advice
and shove it right between your pussy lips...!
-[crash] -[yowl]
[whimsical music playing]
Sir, there's a client here who wants to...
I'm sorry. You were saying?
Well, it's just that I'm sure
one of the other camp counselors killed me.
I'm just not sure which one.
How could you not know?
I was out on the lake when my boat started to sink.
Someone had drilled holes in it.
The counselors are the only ones with keys to the boathouse
and they're the only ones who knew I couldn't swim.
It had to be them.
Hmm. We don't typically do investigations.
I'll have to check with the boss.
Uh, pardon moi, sir.
Not now, Mox.
Sir, there's a client who needs us to investigate his death,
and we don't usually--
No time!
But, sir, we really need the cash flow.
And I was thinking
-maybe-- -What part
of "no fucking time"
do you not understand?
Just handle it yourself.
You want me to lead?
On a hit?
I swear on all that is evil, Mox,
if you aren't out of my office in negative-three seconds--
You got it, sir!
We'll take the case.
And I'll be handling this investigation personally.
Honey, are you sure?
What about Blitzo?
Honey, honey, please.
Blitzo put me in charge this time.
He did?
Oh!
I mean, he-he did!
Right. And this is going to be the cleanest,
most well prepped, most surgical hit we've ever had.
Don't worry, sir.
We'll find your killer
and give him what's coming to him.
And/or her.
Or they.
[Blitzo] Why the fuck wouldn't she tell you where she was going?!
-I mean, did you even ask?! Wait, hold on, I'm getting another call. -[buzzing]
-[singsongy] Hello! -[speaking indistinctly]
Oh, good, did you find--
Really? Where?
Thanks. And I promise, if we ever get a contract on your children,
we'll make it quick and painless. Bye!
[urgent music playing]
Mox.
Are you sure this isn't a little... much?
It's my first lead, Mills. It has to be...
perfect.
Now, in front of you, you'll find
a comprehensive guide to your cover persona.
Memorize it.
We've got a lot of work to do.
[upbeat music playing]
Okay, Millie, one last time for safety.
[ditzy voice] I'm Moxxine,
the hottest, most popular girl at my school.
And you are?
Your brother Millerd.
I like sports and fucking bitches.
[normal voice] Hmm. You know, these kids are a bit younger than I was expecting.
Maybe lose that last part.
-Check. -All right.
[ditzy voice] I think we're ready.
Hey, Mox!
Check out that shady-looking fella over there.
I think that's our guy.
[scoffs] Millie.
I hardly think pointing out the first guy you see is the proper way
-to conduct an-- -No, that's definitely him.
That bag's full of money and drugs
and what looks like a drill one would use to poke holes in a boat.
[normal voice] But-- but that's all circumstantial at best.
[ditzy voice] We need to methodically eliminate all suspects
until we can be sure.
Now he's looking around and heading into that locked boathouse we heard about.
That would be the perfect place to...
Fine, Mox.
We'll do it your way.
[normal voice] With my sleuthing skills and... your killer eye,
we should have this wrapped up in no time.
Now... [ditzy voice] we just have to find the kids
with the most influence.
Oh. Target acquired.
[upbeat music playing]
[lifeguard dude] Hey!
Hey!
So, he snorted a whole line of ground-up mints
and tried to convince us he was high.
Can you even believe him?
[laughing]
Oh, that Derek.
What a riot. Right?
Um, who the fuck are you?
I'm Moxxine. I'm the prettiest girl at my school.
And all the boys want me.
My favorite color is hot pink.
Because normal pink is so...
basic.
I like horses, puppies, fast cars, jewelry.
And I got my first period last year,
and it was so heavy.
I guess I'm just more mature than your typical preteen.
So, you want to be friends?
The fuck is wrong with your legs?
What? Um, oh, I, um, uh...
I was in an accident.
The same accident that fucked up your skin?
You look like you spent three years in a tanning bed.
It's, uh...
-natural. -[chuckles]
Yeah, you wish.
That botch job looks like it cost five bucks in an alley behind Walmart.
Get lost, you fucking freak!
But I, uh...
[girl] Oh, my God! Who is that?
Look how beautifully tan he is.
What?!
[deep voice] I got it!
[grunting]
[triumphant music playing]
[awkward music playing]
[sizzling]
That was...
the best spike I've ever seen.
[cheering]
[weakly] Please.
I need medical attention.
First aid is for winners!
Oh, my God, he is so fucking hot.
Oh! You know, he's my brother.
Fuck off, troll!
Hi. I'm looking for one of your employees.
Her name is Barbie. Does she work here?
Wait, what? Who are you?
[yelling]
Someone who's gonna get real creative if you don't tell him what he wants!
Where is she, fuck nut?
I know you know.
-It only gets worse from here, asshole. -[groaning]
Okay, okay! She's out on a pickup!
Where?
[energetic music playing]
[cheering]
Mox! Did you see?
I broke the record on the course!
Mm-hmm. I saw.
Can you believe this?
Everyone loves me!
They're cheering!
They even posted videos of me online.
Look!
[shutter clicks]
[cheering]
[squeals] Moxxie, that was so fun!
No wonder you sing all the time.
Not exactly low-profile.
I know.
But it's kinda nice having people cheer for me for once, you know?
-Instead of screaming in pain and horror. -[screaming]
Don't forget what we're here to do, Millie.
I haven't.
I'm just waiting until you're ready.
Have you been able to eliminate any suspects?
No, of course not.
I can't get anything from anyone because they're too busy swooning over you.
If you want, we can go off the guy right now.
I think he's alone in the cabin.
No!
I have to do this right.
I tell you what,
why don't you try winning them over
with something you're good at, like I did?
How about your music?
I can even help you, since they already love me.
Yeah.
Yeah!
[ditzy voice] That just might work.
[Millie with deep voice] Y'all want
to hear a song?!
[cheering]
All right!
I know you all like me, but Moxxine is the real deal, y'all.
Let him-- her tell y'all all about it.
-Mox! -Thank you.
[cheering, applause]
-Moxxie? -[Moxxie crying]
You okay?
[crying continues]
Go away!
Moxxie, what's going on?
Nothing! It's... [sobs, sniffles]
It's just my time of the month.
Honey, no.
I just want to go home.
Hey, big guy.
I know you can do this.
You're the best assassin-slash-musician
slash-preteen girl I know.
[crying]
A-And-and investigator?
And investigator.
Look,
I know it's been tough.
Just keep... playing to your strengths.
You have all week to get it right.
Okay.
Thank you.
[energetic music playing]
[thud]
[growls]
[squawking]
Mox! Mox!
You'll never believe it!
They want me to perform onstage tonight for the local news!
Those videos have made me some kind of...
human celebrity.
All week, it's been "Oh, look at Millerd.
Isn't he great?"
"Oh, look how talented Millerd is!"
We have a job to do,
and you're off dancing for views.
Why does it matter so much
how these yokels feel about you?
It doesn't.
It matters how I feel about myself.
And for once, I feel like...
like I'm important!
Like I'm somebody to be proud of.
And I had hoped that my husband
would be there to support me half as much as I've supported him this week.
Millie, I didn't mean--
Save it, Mox!
You could have finished that job anytime if you had just listened to me.
But you wanted to do things your way.
So, fine, finish the job.
Go home if you want to.
But I'm gonna have my moment with or without you!
Oh, crumbs.
It-It's here, man, I swear!
Open it.
[dramatic music playing]
Thanks, chump.
[grunting]
[birds chirping]
[cheering in distance]
You ready to go on, champ?
[deep voice] I guess.
Great.
Now get out there
and put Camp Ivannakummore on the map!
[cheering]
[Moxxie with ditzy voice] Ladies and gentlemen!
Boys and girls!
Are you ready for a show?
Get the fuck off the stage!
Kill yourself, nerd!
I am very proud to introduce to you
someone with abilities never before seen on this earth.
Someone with the raw...
[normal voice] athletic skill of an Olympian.
The voice of an angel.
The acrobatic technique
of an indentured 12-year-old Russian ballerina,
and a body that just doesn't quit.
[clearing throat]
The best and most supportive person
I've ever known
and the love of my life.
My wife--
[ditzy voice] brother Millerd.
-[cheering] -Thank you.
[normal voice] Knock 'em dead, baby.
Speaking of...
-You sure? -Go get 'em, baby.
[mysterious music playing]
What in the-- Sir?
Moxxie? What the fuck are you doing here?!
Trying to finish the job you gave me.
Christ on a stick, you're still working on that?
It's been, like, a fucking week.
This is why I don't trust you with dick, Mox.
And what exactly are you doing here, sir?
Apparently helping finish your botched job.
But, mostly, I'm looking for my sister.
Barbie!
Blitzo?!
-You know her? -Do I know her?
That's my sister, fuck face!
[birds singing in distance]
[cheering]
What the fuck are you doing here, shithead?
I should be asking you the same thing!
You check yourself out of rehab-- no call, no note--
and I have to track you down to this shithole with--
Fuck is this?
No one. He works for me.
And who's the little twink here?
Uh, no one.
-He works for me. -Sir,
that guy's the target.
Oh, shit, Barb.
Sounds like your little boy toy got himself into some trouble.
The fuck are you talking about?
He killed our client and now our client wants to kill him back.
You fucking what?!
He found out about your drugs.
I don't want to fucking hear it, kid.
Look, you're not killing my supplier.
Oh, fuck. Supplier of what?
You're not back on that H-8, are you?
Fuck no!
It's just heroin.
Oh, thank Satan.
-[whimsical music playing] -[cheering]
[buzzing]
[screaming]
So now you're peddling heroin?
What's the point? That shit barely gets rid of a headache.
It's honest work, okay?
And I thought it would be sure to keep me as far away from you as possible.
And you teamed up with genius here because?
Do you have any idea
how easy teenage humans are to manipulate?
Hey! No, I'm not.
Oh, Jimmy-wimmy, can you "pwease" keep loading up these "dwuggie-wuggies" for me?
[chuckles] Sure, Barb.
Whatever you say.
Sir?
I've spent a week on this.
I'm finishing it,
one way or another.
Don't you dare.
[cheering]
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ You got the power ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ You got the power ♪
-♪ Whoa... -Come on, Blitzo.
Haven't you fucked my life up enough already?
♪ Yeah ♪
[grunts]
-♪ A tale as old as rock and roll ♪ -[yowl]
♪ When you win ♪
♪ you're the best ♪
♪ You work until you reach the goal ♪
♪ from within ♪
♪ That's the test ♪
♪ You fight until you reach the top ♪
♪ to rub it in their face ♪
-♪ Whoa ♪ -♪ You love so hard ♪
♪ your flesh explodes ♪
♪ and you win the fucking race ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ You got the power ♪
-♪ Whoa ♪ -[screaming]
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ You got the power ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ A heat so hot ♪
♪ it burns your hole like a fire ♪
♪ when you pee ♪
♪ The inner flame inside your soul ♪
♪ makes you cry ♪
♪ victory ♪
♪ You flex your cheeks until it hurts ♪
♪ and bust out of your jeans ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
-♪ You blow your load on all your foes ♪ -[yowl]
♪ and drown out all their screams ♪
[yowling]
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ You got the power ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ You got the power ♪
♪ Whoa ♪♪
Satan fucking damn it!
Thanks a lot, Blitzo!
I'm out of a job! Fuck!
Barb, wait.
I want to help you.
Let me help you. Please?
You're clean now. Uh, let's... grab dinner.
-We'll catch up and we'll talk about-- -[cackles]
You don't fucking get it.
Just 'cause I'm out of rehab doesn't mean I want to see you.
I never want to see you! Ever!
Next time you want to find me, Blitzo,
don't!
[cheering]
[gentle music playing]
-Looks like you did it. -No.
You did it.
I'm so proud of you, Millie.
And I'm sorry I let you down.
Just don't do it again, dummy.
[moaning]
[cheering stops]
[moaning continues]
-[Moxxie moaning] -[Millie panting]
-Oh! Oh, yes, Moxxie! -[moaning] Oh, yeah, Millie.
-Moxxie! Take it, Moxxie! -Yeah, get it. Yes!
Internet sensation and local celebrity Millerd Realboy
caught incesting tonight,
showcasing a sickening display onlookers deemed
too disturbing to look away
and we won't.
Gonna be honest, Moxxie--
not too bad for your first solo mission.
[gasps]
Really, sir?
No, no, not really.
You're a fucking disgrace.
[snoring softly]
[whimsical music playing]
["Everybody Look at Me!" playing]
[neighing]
[whip cracks] ok at Me!" playing]