[yawns]
[gasps] My birthday! My birthday!
It's my birthday.
Yay! Birthday, birthday. [whoops]
Birthday time!
Calm yourself, young prince.
You know excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia.
Oh, right.
[deep breath]
But Father told me today is the day
I am old enough to know my purpose and responsibility.
Of course. I'm sure it will be wonderful.
[sinister music playing]
[growling]
Ah, there is my little... uh...
Which son is this one?
There are so fucking many.
Stolas, Your Highness.
Stolas, yes.
Heh, right, right. [chuckles]
That's the one, the owl boy.
Well, my little one, it is finally your day of becoming
a true part of the Goetia family.
How good for you.
Are you ready to know what you'll be meant to do to serve Hell?
Yes, Father.
You will be entrusted with the study
of the Earth skies, the stars,
the prophecies they hold, all that stuff. Isn't that fun?
You will begin the studies of your grimoire,
which will grant you access to the mortal realm
to study and observe, and you will grow to be
a mighty Prince of Hell
with your own legions to lead and pass on your knowledge to.
I will do my best, Father.
Wonderful. Also, son, you are destined to sire
a precautionary addition to the Goetia family.
So you are now engaged.
Congratulations. Isn't she charming?
[crying]
Oh.
That's an ugly noise, son.
Here, how about you cease this bitch crying?
[crying louder]
Huh, that usually works.
Would you like it if I took you to the circus in town?
Children enjoy the circus, right?
Would that distract you enough from your non-negotiable future marriage?
[circus music playing]
Is there a spot that is close to the front?
But also far enough that I don't have to...
[inhales]
[groans] ...smell the poor?
-[crowd cheering] -[clamoring]
[cheering]
[ringleader] Now, everyone's favorite thing about circus shit:
the motherfucking clowns.
[screaming]
[Fizzarolli] Ready, Blitz-o?
[Blitzo] Born ready.
[exciting music playing]
Ta... da.
[Blitzo giggles]
Heya, folks.
Want to see me make a horse?
Crap.
-[Blitzo vocalizing] -[balloons popping]
[Blitzo chuckles]
Uh... [chuckles]
Horse.
[onlooker coughs]
Well... heh...
it was a horse.
But then it ate too much sugar and its legs stopped working,
so they had to amputate.
Now it's a gross worm horse.
-[laughing] -See, he gets it.
'Cause horses, they make no sense.
Okay, Blitz-o.
That's enough horsin' around.
Hey, everybody, look at this.
It's Banana Pudding, the clown horsey.
Neigh.
[crowd cheers]
I liked his broken horse joke.
It was funny.
Their legs do stop working when they eat too much sugar.
It's called laminitis.
[cooing]
[Paimon] What a show.
[chuckles] That was real great.
So... [clears throat] ...that little clown you have,
my son really enjoyed that one.
-I was wondering if I could buy him? -Buy him?
Purchase him, yes.
Accurate.
[atmospheric music playing]
My son doesn't have any friends, you see.
And he liked the little clown boy.
It's his birthday.
He's so sad and I don't want to deal with him.
Can I write a check?
Well, Fizzarolli is a big draw.
He has a few more shows to be in today.
So it would be pretty expensive.
No, no, the other one.
-Blitz-o? -Correct.
How much?
Uh, uh, well, he's my son, so, uh, mm...
Uh, how much you got in your pocket?
A, uh, wadded-up five and a slim-fit condom.
Ah, that's plenty.
Done.
Splendid.
Fetch him for me, and we will be on our way.
[dramatic music playing]
[Fizzarolli] I'm Banana Pudding and I like to dance.
[Blitzo] I am Worm Horse and I, I am sad.
Why are you sad, Worm Horse?
Because I have no legs.
Oh. Well, that's okay.
I lost my legs in the war..
[gasps] The war?
Yes, the great pirate war.
No. No pirates.
The great pirate war.
If you keep talking about pirates, I will punch you.
I fought bravely, but I could not run fast enough.
They took my legs.
There was blood everywhere.
[laughs]
Oh, no. Ew.
No blood.
Blood is disgusting.
No, it's cool.
[laughs]
Well, Banana Pudding is here to save the day.
With his magical feet he dances around with.
He will dance all over Worm Horse and make him feel better.
And then...
there will be more blood!
-[laughing] -Blitz-o, that's so gross!
Stop. [laughing]
Never!
Boy, I've got a job for you.
You are gonna spend the day with one of the Goetia princes.
Ew, why?
Because money.
Now, listen carefully.
You are being bought out to be his playmate.
But I want you to steal as much
from those rich fuckers as you possibly can.
Steal? But... what if I get caught?
Don't you want your family to be able to buy a bigger tent?
Better food?
Don't you want to be able to help me and your mama out?
Of course I want to help Mama.
Then you got to do this.
Everything those rich fucks have will be worth a fortune.
-[hiccups] -But if I'm caught...
I'm scared, Dad.
There are scarier things.
Aren't there, son?
But...
Yes, Papa.
[dramatic music playing]
Here is your new friend, my son.
Happy birthday.
A friend?
I guess.
Hi. Uh, I'm Blitz-o.
I'm Stolas. It's nice-- Ouch!
Don't bow to that one.
He bows to us, idiot.
Oh, right. Sorry, Father.
I'm so good at daddy-ing.
[Stolas] This is my book on the difference between frogs and toads.
There's a lot of differences.
And this is my book on plants and herbs.
Did you know plants can hear you?
Plants are boring.
This is all boring stuff.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I've never had a friend to share my books with.
You know what would be fun?
A game.
Let's play Treasure Hunt.
-What's that? -It's where
we pretend we are pirates.
And we go around the house
collecting all the nicest things.
And then we throw them out the window.
We...
-throw them out the window? -Yes.
Since when did pirates throw things out windows?
Since, like, the dawn of time.
Come on, pirates are always throwing stuff out windows.
I don't think they had windows.
What? Did your book say that?
Yes, actually, several.
Well, in this game, we're throwing them out the window
because it's fun.
Well, that's an odd game.
[gasps] Is this an imp game?
Sure, why not?
Well, if it's what you want to play...
Let's do it.
-[mysterious music playing] -[Blitzo giggling]
Come on, come on, come on!
[panting]
[giggling]
[laughter]
[whooping]
-Yeah! -[laughing]
-Ooh! -Whoa!
Ha ha.
[gentle music playing]
[tinkling]
Ooh, yes.
Yay!
-[laughs] -Yeah!
[laughter]
[both sighing]
[laughing]
[suspenseful music playing]
[grunting]
Blitz-o, over here.
[gentle music playing]
[Blitzo grunting]
So, what is that?
-Your diary? -No.
This is my new grimoire.
It's a spell book.
I have to learn it so that I can access the living world.
The living world?
Like the one with humans and stuff?
-Where the sinners come from? -Mm-hmm.
That's cool.
Yes. I'm supposed to learn to use it
-to study the sky. -Why?
My dad says I can find prophecies, but
I don't really know.
But I'm supposed to.
That's what my job will be when I grow up.
To join the rest of the Goetia family.
Well, you know what I'm gonna do when I grow up?
I'm gonna run my own circus.
And I'm gonna be the most famous imp ever.
And I'll be able to do what I want to do.
All day.
I'm gonna make so much money
and buy myself a big building with a big office.
A big office?
For a circus?
Yeah, a big office.
Circus business with clowns and horses.
And the horses will all have good names.
Like Stapler and Biscuit Queen.
[chuckles] I'm sure you will.
That sounds like a good business.
Yeah, and if you apply, I'll hire you.
Maybe.
[laughs]
You'll hire me?
Yeah, if I feel like it.
Well, I hope I qualify. [chuckles]
You'd be a good boss.
You say that with sarcasm.
But I totes would.
[laughter]
[suspenseful music playing]
[groaning]
[Stella shouting indistinctly]
I know still being married isn't a big enough occasion.
But to be fair, it's no picnic being married to a boring stiff like Stolas.
Stella, what in Hell is this?
[groans] Stolas, you know I like throwing parties.
Plus, it's true, so you can come if you want.
[majestic music playing]
[Stella laughing]
No. Stolas is terrible in bed!
I swear to fuck, he just lays there
staring at the wall, and I have to do everything.
It's embarrassing.
I'm glad one egg fell out of me so I could stop pretending
to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass.
[laughter]
What a pathetic fucking man. [laughs]
[snarling]
Do you have anything stronger than this?
We have absinthe, Your Highness.
Bring me all of it.
[Stella] Poor people! I'm so glad that they're not allowed in here.
They can't come anywhere near me! [laughs]
Can you imagine if you didn't have money? [laughing]
[security] Stolas, sir!
[coughing]
-[Stolas] I'm fine. -We caught this nasty imp
trying to sneak into your chambers.
What should we do with him?
Into my chambers, really?
Oh, well, that is concerning.
[clears throat] Leave him to me.
I will handle him accordingly.
[dramatic music playing]
Follow me, imp.
[suspenseful music playing]
Look, I-I didn't mean to interrupt your whatever-- the party.
I-I was just trying to--
[Stolas] Don't bother with excuses.
I know why you are here.
You do?
Yes, you were here to ravish me, weren't you?
Uh, ew.
Why else would you be breaking into my room?
You could have asked to visit, you know.
It's been a long time, but I have a very good memory.
Oh, yeah.
[sexy music playing]
Yeah, well, uh, you know, I figured, you know, since you're a prince and all,
it might just be easier to scale the walls and slip on in.
It certainly is easier than going through your fucking staff.
One would think you might be here for nefarious reasons,
if you are sneaking in during the cover of night.
Well, I wanted to crash the party
and it's always more fun, you know, to make an entrance.
I recall how you enjoy making an entrance.
So, over two decades since I last saw you.
Are you still a circus clown?
Oh. [laughs] No, no, not anymore.
No, I kill people now.
Oh. [chuckles weakly]
How afraid should I be?
Well, I mean...
how afraid
-do you want to be? -Oh!
Well, um, well, I, uh, you know,
I was teasing. I don't really--
You know, you seem pretty tense.
How about I help you out there?
Um... [chuckles]
You know, this is, um, getting a wee bit--
Is it hot?
I'm starting to feel it getting very hot.
Ooh!
What are you doing? I barely remember your name.
It's "Blitz."
Oh, didn't it have an "O"
at the end, like a clown name? I remember--
Ooh! Oof!
Yeah, well it's silent now, okay?
So call me "Blitz."
Okay, "Blitz."
What are you doing to me?
What do you want me to do to you?
I, uh, well...
Uh... [growls]
Ah. Oh.
Oh, my fuck!
Wow! Oh.
You are so forward, "Blitz."
Oh!
What are we doing?
No, no. Stay down, damn it.
Oh, so you like to command.
You like being in charge, hmm?
Yeah, I sure do.
Oh, so you're a kinky little imp, are you?
Do you like it when I talk to you dirty?
I want you to [bleep] me with your [bleep] [bleep]
imp [bleep], get it all the way [bleep].
Get it all the way through me, you [bleep] [bleep] [bleep].
Ugh, stop it.
Yes, if that's what Blitzy wants.
Blitzy, oh, my.
Yes!
Oh, I've never had anyone want me this way.
You have no idea how long I've craved this kind of passion.
And how much it means that the one who wants me is
my first ever friend.
Ugh... All right, fine.
[sighs] I can do this real fast.
[loud crash]
[Blitzo] Sorry. I fucked your husband.
What the fuck was that, Stolas?!
That was the sound
of a fucking divorce!
[laughing]
[Stolas moaning]
[grunts]
[sighs]
[groaning]
[pensive music playing]
♪ Owl in a cage ♪
♪ You show your age ♪
♪ Your sweetness has ♪
♪ Run fowl ♪
♪ Without a change ♪
♪ You're lost, exhausted ♪
♪ By your time ♪
♪ On stage ♪
♪ Then you walked in my room ♪
♪ And like sparks in the dark ♪
♪ Life was suddenly thrilling and new ♪
♪ What's between you and I ♪
♪ Just a comfortable lie ♪
♪ I'm the fool who believes ♪
♪ When you look in my eyes ♪
♪ Prince ♪
♪ All alone ♪
♪ Upon your throne ♪
♪ Your power ♪
♪ Is so ♪
♪ Frail ♪
♪ You raise your voice ♪
♪ You have no choice ♪
♪ Inside your gilded ♪
♪ Jail ♪♪
[Stella] The fuck are you doing?
[Stolas] Reflecting.
Well, stop.
It's annoying to hear you screeching your silly woes all the time.
Why are you still here?
You leave with Via on weekends,
but then you stay around the house despite everything.
I like tormenting you.
I want to keep reminding you of what you did.
I know what I did.
I would feel bad if I hurt you,
but we both know I didn't do that.
You and I were arranged
for one reason: to birth a precautionary heir
to the Goetia family, nothing more.
I tried, so many years, to make it comfortable for us
to have this family, but it was never enough.
The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty,
was for that girl to have a normal life.
I cannot do this anymore.
I want you out, now.
What do you mean "out"?
I mean out.
Out of this palace.
Out of my life.
We are getting the divorce!
How dare you!
What do you think the rest of the Goetia family will think?
Andrealphus--
I don't care what your arrogant brother thinks.
And the only thing the Goetia family wanted from our marriage
is already 17, so it's over, I'm done.
Fine.
I have no desire to stay in the place of a traitorous embarrassment.
You have fallen from what little grace you had.
And I know you'll pay for it.
[sighs]
[contemplative music playing]
♪ ♪
[whimsical music playing]
♪ ♪
[neighing]
[whip cracks] ic playing]