[distant screaming]
[upbeat jazzy music playing]
[distant screaming]
Whoo. That was a fuckton of lumberjacks.
[screams]
I'm still so jazzed up. [cackles]
Well, you better stay jazzed-- hat-cha--
babe, because guess where I'm taking you tonight?
Don't you dare finish a filthy pun in my presence, Moxxie.
'Sides, drinks are on me tonight.
Let's hit up the new dive down the street.
Actually, sir, it's our one year marriage anniversary,
so I'm taking Millie to Ozzie's
-in the Lust Ring. -[gasps]
Ozzie's? No way.
That place is always booked.
Yeah, well, I've been planning it for quite a while.
Moxxie!
Ugh, can you two not?
I'm sorry, sir, maybe another time.
No, it's fine. I can come with the two of you.
Help you celebrate your boring as fuck monogamy.
Uh, no. The reservation is for us.
-Uh-huh. -Just us.
-Mm-hmm. -Without you there.
Explicitly without you there.
I'll wear something nice. It's a big deal, after all.
See you lovebugs later.
[whistling]
[growls]
Relax, sweetie. Don't let him get to you today.
Let's just go home
and clean this blood off.
[purrs]
[chuckles]
[growls]
[bell chimes over P.A.]
Elevator 666 departing for Lust...
[spoken sexily] ...in five minutes.
[mysterious music playing]
[numbers dialing]
[faint screaming]
[Loona on recording] Yeah, it's Loona.
-Whoever you are, go for it. -[voicemail beeps]
Hey, Loony, just wanna let you know
I'm not gonna be back home until real late.
I got something important tonight.
[phone moans]
[upbeat jazz music playing]
Whoa, there, buddy. You got a reservation?
Oh, yeah, I'm with those two.
This club is for couples only.
It's what?
No date, no reservation,
no entry.
Y-you know, you have really nice eyes…
Daddy?
You fucking prude!
[quiet music playing]
[sighs]
[soap opera music playing]
[sighs]
Ay, why won't you love me, Alejandro?
That's a mood, Gabriella.
[phone ringing]
[chokes]
Hello? Hello, Blitzy.
Stolas, hey, you, uh...
[whispering] Shit.
...you busy tonight?
Um… why do you ask?
I was wondering if you...
want to come with me to a club tonight?
Are you asking me on a date, Blitzy?
I-- Yes, I suppose that is what's happening.
How fast can you get down to Lust?
I can be ready in 20.
All right, fantastic, see you soon.
I'll see you, Blitzy.
Come on, come on, come on.
[Stolas] Oh, Blitzy.
I'm here.
Wow.
That's a bit overkill, don't you think?
[chuckles]
Well-well, I just wanted to look a little nicer for you.
This is our first real date, after all.
Oh, yeah. I guess this is, huh?
You again?
-Beat it, shithead. -[Stolas] Ahem.
Do we have a problem?
Oh. Uh, shit.
Uh, uh... my apologies, Your Highness.
Uh, please, go right in.
-[jazzy music playing] -[people cheering distantly]
[gasps] Oh, my.
Oh, no. No but yes.
Oh, Blitzo.
How romantic is this?
What made you choose such a place to bring me?
Oh, it just sounded like,
I just thought we'd have a blast here, you know?
Gotcha.
Oh, Blitzo, what are you looking at?
I'm looking at nothing, how 'bout that?
Can I get you two off?
I mean, start you two off with some drinks?
Yes, um, perhaps some wine to share.
Do you prefer red wine or white, Blitzo?
-Or perhaps some champagne? -Yeah, whatever.
[laughs] Perhaps all three.
Why not?
So, Blitzo, how was your day?
Huh? Oh, uh, good, I guess.
We killed a bunch of beardos.
That sounds fun.
How… did you kill them?
How?
I-I mean, there was a lot of 'em,
so I don't-- Bullets?
Right.
Right. So...
...what made you decide to ask me out after all this time?
Uh...
[Fizzarolli] Ladies and gentlemen,
I see some sexy faces around here tonight.
Welcome, welcome to Ozzie's,
Lust Ring's number one place
for all kinds of sick, twisted fantasies,
put on display for all you sleaze and sleazettes.
The gem joint of Asmodeus himself.
Come on, give him some love.
[cheering and applause]
Did he just say "Asmodeus"?
Oh, no fucking way.
Not him.
I am the one and only Fizzarolli.
Some of you might recognize this dashing clown face
from my numerous toy-botic replicas across the rings of Hell,
gloriously designed by the big man himself
and, uh, ribbed for your pleasure tonight.
We have a great lineup
for you tonight:
Verosika Mayday, Wet Dream
-and The Squirterz. -[crowd applauds]
But as everyone's warming up, I got a funny one for y'all.
Did any of you hear about the bat shittery
that happened at Loo Loo Land?
[crowd laughs]
[Fizzarolli laughs] Oh, yeah.
Wow. Now, I tell you what,
I'd sure love to shake the hand of the crazy son of a bitch
who decided to burn down that off-brand shithole,
and then slap a fat subpoena in it, 'cause I'm very much looking to sue.
That robo me made us more money entertaining those kids
than the ones we sell to get you freaks off,
if you know what I mean. [laughs]
Oh, I know what you mean.
I have four of 'em! [laughs]
Mm, okay. Keep that guy far away from me.
So, without wasting any more time,
our little opening act is a fresh one.
Coming at us from a little imp from the Wrath Ring,
give it up for Moxxie,
with no creative stage name whatsoever.
[crowd applauds]
-Hello, everyone. -[feedback squeals]
Oh. [clears throat] Hi.
Thank you for letting me be here.
It's an honor to play.
[Wally] Uh, hurry up, uh, and sing, boy,
I say, I say.
This song is for my beautiful wife,
a surprise for our first anniversary.
I love you, Millie.
♪ I love you ♪
♪ more than the brimstone loves the fire ♪
♪ More than Beelze loves her bub ♪
♪ More than a maggot loves gangrenous stubs ♪
♪ You make my spirit sing ♪
♪ Yeah, you make me glad I live in Hell ♪
♪ Our love is a story sweet to tell ♪
♪ Yeah, you cast a special satanic spell ♪
♪ over my heart ♪
♪ Love is a journey we decided to start ♪
♪ Yeah, I hope we'll never, ever be apart ♪
♪ I love you, I love you, I love you ♪
♪ I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you ♪
-♪ I love you, I love you ♪ -[Fizzarolli mockingly] ♪ I love you ♪
-♪ I love you, I love you, I love you ♪ -♪ I love you, I love you, I love you ♪
♪ I love you ♪♪ I love you.
-I love-- I love you. -[Fizzarolli and Asmodeus laugh]
- [♪ "House of Asmodeus"] -♪ You singing love songs ♪
♪ in my lustful lounge? ♪
♪ Ozzie's ain't the place for sentimental sounds ♪
[Asmodeus] ♪ What'd you expect from a proprietor like us ♪
♪ your demon host, Asmodeus, the embodiment of lust? ♪
♪ Give me a thrust ♪
[Fizzarolli imitating trumpet]
♪ Yeah, show me some lust ♪
[Fizzarolli imitating trumpet]
♪ From the groin to the bust, in desire we trust ♪
♪ in the house of Asmodeus ♪
[Fizzarolli imitating trumpet] Trumpet! Aah!
♪ Little imp, you came here to sing your serenade ♪
♪ Perform your feelings on a velvety stage ♪
♪ Well, we got a saying that's popular in these parts ♪
♪ Only little bitches strum the strings of their hearts ♪
♪ You want to hang around this lustful town? ♪
♪ Ditch the lovey dovey before we knock you around ♪
♪ Here we sing about wanton desire ♪
♪ depravity, savagery, loins hotter than fire ♪
♪ So give me a thrust ♪
♪ Show me some lust ♪
♪ From the groin to the bust ♪
♪ little imp, you just must ♪
♪ in the house of Asmodeus ♪
♪ Come on, sing us a song ♪
♪ Make sure the subject is getting it on ♪
♪ Make it graphic and tantrically loud ♪
Be sure to rhyme "song" and "schlong."
♪ Go ahead, your mic's on ♪
[feedback squeals]
♪ I want to... ♪
Yeah, what do you want? Butt stuff, piss play, bondage?
♪ Make gentle love to you...
[groans] ♪ What a limp-dick imp ♪
♪ You're really killing the vibe ♪
♪ Get a load of this dweeb with his unsatisfied bride ♪
Hey, now, I've watched those two pork many times.
What? Blitzo!
And honestly? They make missionary look relatively exciting.
♪ Is that Blitz-o? So you're showing your face? ♪
♪ Hey, everybody, this guy's a total disgrace ♪
♪ Some nerve you've got, to comment on a relationship ♪
♪ Last I checked, your love life is a pile of shit ♪
Oh, Blitz-o?
♪ I used to date him ♪
Oh, Verosika, you're here.
♪ I'd stroke him, I'd fellate him ♪
-♪ Yeah, but when it was my turn ♪ -♪ My turn, my turn ♪
-♪ He did no reciprocating ♪ -♪ What a dickhead ♪
♪ A seflish imp in the sheets ♪
♪ And just as bad in the streets ♪
♪ A reckless heartbreaking freak ♪
♪ Who's that at your table? Is your date a demon prince? ♪
♪ Stolas, is that you? ♪
Are you sleeping with an imp?
♪ Whoo, my dark lord ♪
♪ How the mighty do fall ♪
♪ You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all ♪
♪ I hope you didn't give it up so you and him could get it up ♪
♪ You sold your life for a thrust ♪
♪ Now, that's the spirit of lust ♪
♪ From your groin to your bust ♪
♪ You better get your hair mussed ♪
♪ Pretend you don't see that crust ♪
♪ Hump till your junk turns to dust ♪
♪ In the house of Asmode-- ♪♪
-[Fizzarolli screams] -Hey.
I think you were trying to sing something for me, Mox.
Yeah, I was.
♪ I love us ♪
♪ I love us just the way we are ♪
♪ Don't have to pretend to like to do things we don't ♪
♪ I've always got you around to laugh at my stupid jokes ♪
♪ I'll never take you for granted ♪
♪ I'll always give you my best ♪
♪ And if you can offer the same ♪
♪ fate will handle the rest ♪
♪ 'Cause I love you ♪
♪ 'Cause I love you ♪♪
[cheering and applause]
You know what? This was a mistake.
All right? Let's just... let's just leave.
Oh, right. Of course.
[kissing, moaning]
Aw, ain't that just such a happy display?
It sickens me.
[monstrous voice] Get the fuck out!
[car approaching]
[grunting]
Thank you for...
inviting me out tonight.
Despite everything's that happened, I...
I enjoyed spending time with you.
Yeah.
You know, I have some more wine in the house.
Octavia's with her mother
this weekend, so we could--
I'm not fucking you tonight, okay?
I'm really just...
I'm really not in the mood, Stolas.
We could talk.
Or watch a movie, or...
maybe cuddle?
Stolas, don't act like what we have
is anything but you wanting me to fuck you, okay?
You make that really clear all the time.
But I just, I-I can't do it tonight. Okay?
I'm sorry.
Okay.
-Good night, Blitzo. -Night.
[emotional music playing]
[groans]
[moans]
[sighs]
[faint scream]
[quiet, emotional music playing]
[crying]
♪ ♪