Mr. Darshan.
Well, we gents can have a conversation now. Okay?
So consider it a yes from me.
Happy to do business with you, sir.
You haven't told me your name.
Shikha!
I think it worked because he thinks I'm a man.
Weird.
Mak, you're hungover.
Shakes, I heard what I heard.
I will show you if you don't believe me.
Since Darshan has already bought into it.
Let's try Imtiaz.
Madam, I already told you. It's not possible.
-We spoke yesterday… -Hello.
Sir?
Yes, sir. Tell me.
Sir, tell me. This is Imtiaz, the bottler speaking.
Tell me, sir.
-Imtiaz. -Yes, sir.
Why are you troubling my girls?
Do you want our business or not?
Tell me directly.
Who talks like this?
-You'll make him angry. -Sir…
Sorry, sir.
There's been a misunderstanding.
You see, my speech is like that, sir.
Please apologize to the girls on my behalf.
Fine.
Now tell me. Do you want our business or not?
If you don't, then I'll go and speak to
-somebody else in the market… -No, sir.
I want it, sir. Who would deny a business opportunity, sir?
-Yes or no? -Yes. Yes, sir.
Work is worship, sir. Yes. I am interested, sir.
Sir, what is your good name?
David.
And what's your surname, sir?
Okay…
Jones.
David Jones.
Oh, wow, sir! Very international!
Thank you, Mr. David Jones.
Pleasure to do business with you, sir.
Pleasure is all mine, Mr. Imtiaz.
My companion
My eternal partner, all day long
I find myself telling stories That begin with you
My eternal partner, all day long
Life is nothing but the moments I spend with you
My eternal partner, all day long
I find myself telling stories That begin with you
My eternal partner, all day long
Life is nothing but the moments I spend with you
We'll get caught, Shakes.
If we get caught, so be it.
Scared is what we are feeling.
But brave… Brave is what we are doing.
I love your dad and I love his philosophy.
But, no.
This is too much.
This is not about my dad anymore. It's about you.
Mak, because of you, someone has finally taken us seriously.
We had gotten used to rejections.
But who would've known that all we had to do was…
All we had to do was… be a man.
In order to do business here, we'll have to find one.
What?
A man.
I haven't heard a more pathetic idea in my entire life.
Is this a joke?
We don't waste jokes on you, Bobby.
This is serious, Bobby.
There is nothing serious about this plan.
It's completely foolish.
Both of you have gone mad.
What name did you say?
-David Jones. -David Jones.
First, tell me. How did you come up with this name?
You should have thought of something Indian.
Dhurandhar Johar.
Dharmendra Chopra.
-Or else… -Bobby. Bobby.
Focus.
Tell me. Will you be our David Jones?
All I know is how to brew beer.
This drama is not for me.
Give it a try.
I don't need to take any risks.
-But you do. -Why?
I have two words for you.
Shikha, I will not have you curse at me.
Hallertau hops.
Do you want it or not?
Are you serious?
Hops are like oxygen that beer survives on.
Hops give the beer its flavor.
It adds aroma.
Exactly.
But these hops are not available in India.
We went out on a limb to import them from Germany on your demand.
Are they here?
But your poor hops are stuck in customs.
If you become David Jones
and impress Mrs. Murthy, the customs officer,
-then problem solved. -Simple.
-The hops are yours. -Simple.
-But why do you need this David guy? -Means?
Do you think we enjoy pretending to be a man?
-Are we enjoying it? -Seriously?
-Are we enjoying it? -Are you not?
The entire system is against us. You can't even imagine.
We've tried everything and we're tired of it.
And after trying everything we could, what did we end up with?
Mak, he has no interest in making beer.
Let's think of something else.
-Yeah. No, I agree. Let it be. -This idea isn't going to work.
-It's just a waste of time. -This feels like a scandal to me.
Bagga, a person should learn to be confident in themselves.
Imagine I am Mrs. Murthy, and you are David Jones.
-But I am not David. -Then pretend!
-Come on. -Okay.
I am in a fix.
-Come, sit. -I don't know about this.
Hello, Mrs. Murthy, I'm…
What is your name?
Myself, Bobby Bagga.
David Jones!
Yes. I'll go back.
Stick to the script.
Hello, Mrs. Murthy. David Jones, this side.
What do you want?
Give me my hops.
What hops?
If you're going to ask such tricky questions, I don't want to play.
This feels like a scam.
I am leaving.
I don't want to do this.
-He left… -He was such a good candidate.
Shikha.
Absolutely not.
Seems like you guys have gotten drunk
before even making any beer.
Here I'm preparing to be the hottest 30 under 30 designer in Delhi.
And both of you? You want me to end up
being Delhi's first Parsi in Tihar.
Not happening.
This is what you call a scam.
-It's not a scam. -Stop calling it a scam.
Then what is it, darling? Let me spell it out for you.
One second.
See.
S-C-A-M.
Scam.
Like I was saying…
-What are you writing? -It's not a scam.
It's a hack.
See, don't try to confuse me
with all these Hindi words.
Don't be a little bitch.
Learned it from the best!
Shut up.
My God. How am I related to that?
How?
HACK
Shakes, what if we ask Kabir?
No. Not Kabir.
We should never mix love and business.
That's why I don't want to involve him in this.
Okay.
I believe we need a person
who is business-minded
and who understands our line of work.
And where will we find this God-like creature?
Please explain.
No.
-Save us, man. -No.
-Come on. -No, Shakes.
What if my throat gets better? It's not possible.
What if we don't let it get better?
There is a hack.
-No. -Yes.
-You are horrible. -I know.
-Wicked. -And evil.
Evil!
Like, really evil.
You are cunning, hiding things
Drink extreme
You scheme, that's your theme
You're the talk of the town Block to block
You rule me like a boss
Hello. This is David Jones.
What do I say, sir?
Consider the deal done.
Done? Thank you.
David Jones here.
Why else am I called the king of Gondhoraj?
The stock is limited, but you can have it all.
Thank you.
-David Jones speaking. -Hello, sir.
What are you saying?
Credit period issue?
No issue, sir.
30 days to 60 days.
Is that fine?
Done. Done.
David Jones speaking.
Yes, sir.
Everything will be done on time, sir.
Actually, I've never heard of you before, sir.
My bottles are supplied all over Delhi.
I think you might be new to this business.
Hello? David sir? Hello…
I've followed up on inventory management with the suppliers.
-Yeah, man. Oh… -This is for my hard-working girl.
Kosha mangsho.
Come on.
Thank you, love.
Welcome.
You want me to try it now?
Yes, or else it will get cold.
I like it cold.
-I am starved. I think we should dig in. -Come on, come on.
Come on. Come on.
-Wow, Kabir, this is… -Right?
unbelievable.
Yeah?
Absolutely smashing.
-Right! -Very nice.
Okay, fine. I know.
It's not perfect, but I'll crack it next time.
I'm sending you something amazing.
Continue with your scam.
-Chef, shall I bring more? -No.
-Scam? -Let's get the other one ready.
Okay, chef.
Ever since I moved in,
this is his way of showing me his… love.
Kosha mangsho.
But that's sweet.
He is learning to cook Bengali food for you.
But he's always getting in the way of my work.
I mean, I don't show up to his kitchen
with my tasters and be like…
"Try it."
I am better off single.
Listen, even Kabir thinks we're pulling off a scam.
Do we care?
It's getting quite close now.
Imtiaz is constantly asking for a meeting.
I don't even know what to say anymore.
Bro.
What is the first rule in life, and in marketing?
Is that a trick question?
No.
That we have to believe.
That's when others will too.
Wait. Let me explain this.
What is our product?
Beer.
No. Like right now.
-David Jones. -Yes.
If we don't believe in his existence ourselves,
then how will we get others to believe that he's not a scam…
he is an entity.
Okay.
He is a living and breathing person who is very much alive.
Ask me who he is.
Who is he?
He is a legend.
On a quest to find himself,
David sir ended up in a spiritual retreat.
By air, of course.
He stays away from the world.
He delegates all work to us.
Imagine who he met there.
Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs was very hungry.
So what did David sir give him?
Apple?
Listen. Control, Uday.
A bit much?
In today's world,
where being over-exposed is like a trend,
he has no digital footprint.
No social media presence.
But now he's returned home.
Like, to promote local talent like us.
He keeps saying that the world needs support.
And he is the supporter.
Oh, wow, a discount too?
Not bad, bro.
David Jones.
You've probably heard the name.
Of course. Yes, yes.
He's a great man.
I think so.
It will open.
I am opening it after a long time. It's open.
This is my brewery.
One moment.
Please come.
I was really hoping to meet with David sir.
Mr. David doesn't meet with anybody.
But yes, he will definitely bless your bank balance.
No. I wanted to send him a friend request.
But I couldn't find his handle.
Would such a big man
sit around and make reels on social media?
-Yes. You are right. -Really, Mr. Darshan?
-Come. From here. -Shikha…
This is where the grain is germinated.
-Oh. -To produce sugar content.
Do you know how beer is made?
How?
From grains.
Just like how wine is made from fruit.
Similarly, beer is made from grains.
-Wow. -Wow.
-Mr. Darshan, we had no idea. -Hey!
You seem to be a champion of the intricacies of beer.
No. It's nothing like that.
Are you okay? Shall I get you some water?
I am fine.
I've just got a sore throat.
Are you…
related to David Jones?
It's just that your voices sound kind of similar.
That's why I asked.
Mr. Darshan, what do the machines outside do?
Oh, yes! You cannot make beer without that.
That's the main part. Come.
I will show you.
They are enraptured.
Look.
This is called a fermentation tank.
-This is where the magic happens. -Yes.
These machines have been imported from Germany.
Duty paid.
Imported.
Okay, so the license for this…
-Shikha. -Well, we…
I want to talk to you.
Now.
Mr. Darshan, what exactly is fermentation?
Good question.
All the machines you see here
are for fermentation.
So, Miss…
We can't brew beer in these ruins.
Ruins? He just said that everything is imported.
Yeah, probably before the country's independence.
In this…
Okay. I know this is not the ideal place.
But find a hack.
-Hack? -Yes.
Hack with beer?
You guys do one thing. Go and open a roadside stall.
If the temperature fluctuates, if it gets contaminated,
the beer will go for a toss.
-He might hear you. -We have to do it.
Forget drinking it, it won't even be good enough to throw out.
Bobby, first, control your temperature.
Keep it cool.
Bobby.
The second-best beer I've ever tasted in life
was at your home.
I can see that this place is not ideal.
But I have full faith in your skills.
The guy who can make incredible beer just from his home…
imagine what he can achieve with all of this equipment!
But look, this is your department. And…
we will do whatever you say.
Okay?
Don't stress.
If you want to see any other place…
-we'll do that-- -I will need more assistants.
Day and night supervision.
We'll have to monitor it non-stop, I'm telling you.
That's better.
Tell me. How many people do you want?
We will get them for you.
Your beer is going to set the world on fire!
Just watch.
This is our brewery!
So I was thinking, the cricket league begins in 45 days.
That's the time when people consume beer more than water.
-Firoo, the monthly analysis report is in. -We won't get a better demand-ready
launch date than that.
What do you think?
That's actually perfect.
We won't be able to pull the cash flow for more than two months anyway.
-Absolute sixer, bro. -Should we, then?
Not sixer. We've been clean-bowled.
The focus group branding report has come in.
We are ruined.
-Chaka Chak is a total flop. -Are you serious?
Sixty percent of people think that this is Sara Ali Khan's new song.
And 40 percent of people think we're selling toilet cleaner.
-Hold on. Show me. -It's not funny, Firoo.
-Chaka Chak… -Not giving at all.
What sort of a name is that?
-Chaka. -Chak?
This mail… I have sent it.
Gondogol was best, man.
A pathetic name is better than an idiotic name.
Think of something pan-Indian, Shikha.
Like what?
I absolutely hate it when he makes sense.
I always do.
See, if you want to sell beer, you have to start from scratch.
New name. New identity.
Packaging. Product samples. What about that?
Marketing will go for a toss.
The biggest disaster will be the launch date.
Seems like the Titanic of your dreams
is sinking without even hitting the iceberg.
By itself.
Like a little…
Titanic suicide.
How iconic!
Darshan's calling.
Mr. Darshan.
Ms. Anahita, how are you?
I'm great.
Ms. Anahita, if I could meet David Jones once…
-Mr. Darshan. -No. No. Please.
It won't be possible otherwise.
Do you understand my problem?
Okay, Mr. Darshan.
What happened?
He wants a face-to-face meeting with David Jones before signing the deal.
He won't budge.
Now what?
I don't know.
What do we do?
David. David. David.
He's fallen in love with the guy!
I knew everything wouldn't be so easy.
I just knew it.
We will have to think of a hack.
He's our contract brewer! We can't lose him.
What do we do?
Listen. Tell him that David Jones is ready
for a video call.
How?
AI, bitch.
Tall.
Suave.
And brooding.
Salt and pepper hair.
Clooney types.
Yeah.
Older, right? A bit dignified.
In his fifties.
Yeah.
Daddy types. Not a granddad.
-Wow. -Wow.
Shall we give him an accent?
Hello, ladies.
This is David Jones.
Hello, ladies.
This is David Jones.
In the attempt at transformation, he's become a transformer.
Let's adjust it.
More bass.
Less treble.
Hello, ladies.
This is David Jones.
Here we are.
Yeah.
Oh, this fits perfectly.
-I will turn the camera on. -Am I man enough for you?
Oh, my God. You are so hot.
Okay. Listen. Are you ready?
Three, two, one.
Hello, sir. Hello.
Hello. Darshan got to meet you.
My life is blessed.
Sir, there is a lot of disturbance. I cannot hear you.
Speak louder, sir.
I had said congratulations, Mr. Darshan.
You are finally meeting me.
Yes. You are right. You are right.
Sir, something feels strange.
I am in Italy.
Doesn't it look like Italy?
Sir, I haven't been to Italy.
No, but it's nice, sir. I won't take much of your time.
I know that you're used to the company of very big people, sir.
No. Sometimes I meet people like you, too.
Don't worry.
Ask for a discount.
But you are not even trying to be friends with me.
Why do you say that, sir?
Because the number you gave me isn't good.
No, sir. Don't feel bad.
Here I am, trying to be your friend.
And you're acting like my enemy?
No, it's not like that.
I will give you a discount of five…
no… ten percent, sir.
And credit of… 90 days works for you, sir?
Great. Great.
I will send-- I mean, the girls will send a new contract.
Why isn't your name mentioned
-in the contract, sir? -Yes…
Tax. Tax.
You were saying… what were you asking?
Contract!
Contract. Yes, because of tax. These tax officers are after me.
What to do?
-Sir, you are a genius. -That I am.
Give me a chance to serve you.
-Please come to my house someday. -Okay, Mr. Darshan. Ravioli!
Man, this guy is always cutting the call.
Your honest.
Let bygones be bygones
Let it go
You have found a new world Give yourself a new identity
Let it go
Go wherever the wind takes you
Nothing is more enjoyable Than living your life
Live life to the fullest
Live your life
Life
Live life to the fullest
Let yourself
Be carefree
Lose your…
Heart
-Turmeric powder? -Yes. Add it.
-Red chili powder? -Add it.
All the hues
Is this much smoke normal?
Don't shatter your desires
Girls! Are you okay?
Kabir, back off!
I am the chef today.
Relax. You relax.
-But, but… -Just relax.
-Go and relax! -It's just…
It's just that it's on fire.
All these launch venues I've been talking to are super expensive, dude.
Girls, save your money.
Do it at my restaurant.
I will do it for free.
Seriously?
Okay. If we get the venue for free,
then we can use the money for our PR budget instead!
We can do a bigger and grander launch.
Exactly.
Kabir, you are the best, man!
Oh. Sorry.
Kuks, you don't have to go out of your way for this, you know?
Don't worry.
They won't say no to me.
Sorry. I got carried away.
In my excitement, I forgot that you didn't want to involve Kabir.
He is already doing a lot for me, and it's only been eleven months.
I just don't want him to start feeling like I am using him…
for like everything!
He is not going to think that you are using him, Shakes!
He can.
Talk to him once.
I don't think it's going to be a big deal for him.
I know, but…
I can't.
Shakes, think about it.
Free! He said free!
It'll save us a lot of money.
A lot!
Thank you.
You do so much for me.
I really appreciate everything you are doing for me.
It just means the world to me.
Oh.
Appreciate and all.
Are you writing an email?
Yes?
Do you think I am doing it for you?
If your awesome beer has a grand launch in my restaurant,
it will be free publicity for my place too.
-Right? -Yes.
So chill. Don't get sentimental.
Okay?
Please. Please.
As it is, I think I am a little better at this business thing than you.
Yeah, right.
Just joking.
Listen.
Shall we celebrate properly?
Yes?
-We're on! -Yes. Yes.
Okay…
Wait. Wait. Wait.
-A selfie. A selfie. -Let's do this.
-Guys. -You're supposed to teach me that.
-When are you going to teach me that? -I will.
ANY UPDATE ON HOPS?
Wait. Hold it. Hold it.
Yes, sir.
-I will just come… -Yes…
Anahita.
Any update on customs?
We've run out of hops.
We'll need to import some for the roll-out.
What happened?
Is something there?
No. No. Nothing. Everything is under control.
What are you doing at the brewery on a Sunday?
I am playing antakshari here.
Is it necessary to get snarky about everything, Bobby?
We are also working hard.
I can see that.
We are meeting Mrs. Murthy this week.
You will get your hops. Don't worry.
Is everything else set for the launch?
Yes. It will be done.
Great. I just want to say that your samples are a big hit.
Soon the whole world is going to know…
Bobby Bagga. Go and celebrate.
With whom? Alone?
With Dobby?
There is a lot of work here. So…
Bobby, learn to take some assistance from your assistants.
You are the brewmaster.
Come on. Go now.
It's an order.
I will go.
Bye.
Boys, do it properly. I am leaving.
Why do all of Kabir's clothes look the same?
Try another one.
Something will work.
How long is this going to go on, Shakes?
It's not right.
We always say it's the last time.
But that last time never comes.
What do we do then?
Remove all of this and correct the upbringing of these men?
Life is all about a hack.
Listen!
Don't worry.
Let the launch take place.
Then we can kill off David Jones tragically on a remote island somewhere.
Till then, we will have to make do with this hack.
If I hear the word "hack" one more time,
my ears will start bleeding.
We wanted to do business.
Not hacks.
Yes. But business is synonymous with "hack," Senorita.
Whatever.
-My companion -Mak.
Jugaad?
Yes. I got it, Shakes.
No. No.
-Jugaad. -Oh, my God. Shut up!
Ju-gaad.
JUGAAD
Have both of you lost it? What are you staring at?
-Bro, "Jugaad." -"Jugaad."
"Jugaar…"
What?
Oh, he always turns D's into R's… nothing new.
Oh.
Read that out.
"Jugaaro."
Jugaaro.
-Jugaaro. -Jugaaro.
-Hey, guys. You don't have to mock me.
I have not been able to say my D's since like birth.
Jugaaro.
Life is nothing but the moments I spend with you
My eternal partner, all day long
-Jugaaro. -Jugaaro.
I find myself telling stories That begin with you
My eternal partner, all day long
Life is nothing but the moments I spend with you
Dear, my customers just want to get drunk.
They don't care about the taste.
They want strong beer.
They won't like craft beer.
Whatever is cold and cheap will work for them.
-Papa ji, taste it and see. -Dear, I have tried everything.
Taste it once.
Tell me something.
How did you get into the beer business?
Papa ji, this all began with my dad.
My dad started his own beer business.
Ever since I was a child,
I would see him brewing beer in the garage.
Beer was his whole life.
And the love with which the beer was made…
I always…
And that's why to fulfill Dad's unrealized dream,
we friends got into this beer business.
You've made me all emotional, dear.
Wow.
This is an amazing beer.
I wish my children had been like you.
My children are all good-for-nothing.
They just sit around.
They don't do any work.
Fifty crates for me.
Fifty!
Thank you, Papa ji. This is huge for us. Thank you.
Have you spoken with Kuku? He can help you.
Who is Kuku?
Kuku is Kuldeep Kukreja.
That… What is that?
-Liquid… -Liquid Heaven…
The owner of Liquid Heaven wine shop.
We went to his store.
But his men wouldn't even speak with us.
Is that so?
If we get that account, life is sorted, bro!
Yes, Kuku.
What's up?
Listen. You are acting very smug.
If you don't fix an appointment with my girls,
I will break your legs and feed them to you like a lollipop.
What?
Hold on.
Kuku is asking, can you meet him right now?
It's amazing.
Thank you.
I would love to stock them.
That's great.
We are so glad you liked it.
Anyway, tell your boss to get in touch with my purchase team.
David.
You know David sir?
Of course.
Who doesn't know David?
So we will start with about three to four outlets.
Wow. Thank you.
-That will be great. -Okay.
I will take your leave.
-Thank you so much. -It was lovely meeting you girls.
Thank you for your time.
-Thank you very much. -It was a pleasure.
-I will see you around. -Pleasure. Yes.
Mr. Walia.
It's so good to see you.
And?
What's happening these days?
Are you planning to stock those girls' beer?
Quite a sharp eye you keep on your competition.
And who knows this market better than you?
Craft beer is a small world.
I have given them an offer.
I'll retract it if you want.
Anyway, I'm doing someone a favor.
Keep the deal.
Like you said,
I don't face any threat from craft.
-Want to play? -Come on. Let's do it.
What the…
Are you allergic to fun?
You won't die if you have fun for one night.
You are supposed to act my age. Not Granny's.
Why are you bringing Granny into this?
I have work to do.
You know what? Sit on your crap-top.
And CC your youth in that mail while you're at it.
Anyway, my night is way more interesting than this.
So I am going to head out.
Bye. Toodles.
Drinks?
Yes.
Oh, my God, Anahita. Look at these pillars.
One is browner than the other.
That's me in high school.
The rough edges.
Just like my rough journey.
The bullying… I mean,
the societal pressure from Indian communities.
Societal pressures…
Are you okay?
Yeah. No. No. I am fine.
I just…
I forgot to book a session with my therapist this week. But…
you know what they say, right?
Art is therapy.
Yeah.
Bobby, hi.
Thanks, man. You saved me.
At least let me have one date night in peace.
Everything is over.
What?
Bobby?
Listen!
Get over here! er.