[boing]
And now, DreamWorks' The Penguins of Madagascar.
[brassy detective music]
♪ There's a sea mammal on a roll ♪
♪ Evil swims in his soul ♪
♪ You will fear his flipper's clutch ♪
♪ Surprisingly smooth to the touch ♪
♪ Look out below ♪
♪ For your fluke-tailed foe ♪
♪ He's Dr. Blowhole ♪
[chittering laugh]
Anti-gravity socks field test.
Activating now.
Oh, sweet!
Yeah, oh--whoa! Gah!
[grunting]
[exclaiming in pain]
- Okay, nobody saw-- - Hey.
[screams]
- You Kowalski? - Yes.
[clears throat] Yes, yes, I am.
- Come with me. - Excuse me, sir,
but I don't just wander off with strange platypuses.
Or is it platypi? Platypuseses?
You'll come if I say the right word.
And what word would that be?
[shrieks]
[high-pitched gibberish, objects clatter]
I don't know when I'll be back, maybe never.
Nice knowing you!
- Uh... bye? - What was that about?
Well, let's find out.
We'll check the surveillance tapes.
[buzzer]
- [rapid whirring] - Aah!
You watch everything Kowalski does?
Well, yeah! But, uh, just Kowalski.
'Cause, you know, he's kind of a nut job.
I mean, you're cool.
I'd never do that to, uh, you guys.
I'm Skipper. Give me options
- for being a fuddy-duddy-- - Uh, uh...
[sniffing]
Ugh. [gags]
[chugging]
[laughs]
You'll come if I say the right word.
And what word would that be?
Doris.
[all gasp]
That is 10 pounds of trouble
in a 3-pound bag.
[gasps] You do watch everything we do!
- She needs me? - Her very words.
Said you're the smartest guy she's ever met.
Ah, always knew Doris would come to her senses someday.
It's the casual confidence I exude,
my effortless aplomb, a sense of suave--
Kowalski!
[heavenly music]
Hey, you.
[babbling]
Doris!
Kowalski...
You--you--you still got the p-pretty parts.
[giggles] You haven't changed a bit.
Oh, Kowalski, it's really nice to see you.
[stammering, shaking]
Now take a deep breath, then respond.
Okay!
[inhaling deeply]
Nice to see you, too!
Didn't I tell you he's great, baby?
"Baby"?
Oh, yeah, guy's got it going on,
just like you said, sweetie.
"Sweetie"?
[gasping, stammering] Why did he call her "sweetie"?
[tires squealing]
[police siren wailing]
I hope we're not too late to talk
and/or pound some sense into Kowalski's oblong head.
- Duck! - [truck horn blaring]
Really, Skipper, Doris can't be that bad, can she?
Private, the first time Doris rejected Kowalski,
he refused to leave his bunk...
for six months.
- Duck! - Whoa!
Six months?
Yep, didn't even move once.
Believe you me, clean-up duty was not pleasant.
[shudders, yelps]
Duck!
Oh, it'll never work, Doris.
Is he bird? Is he mammal?
If he can't commit to a species,
how can he commit to you?
Listen, I've heard this all before,
except then it was about Doug the porpoise
or Harry the octopus or Pete the manatee.
He was ugly on the inside, too.
Listen, Kowalski, I like you.
I do, I really like you. I like you.
But I'm never gonna like you like you.
Can you understand that?
[whimpers]
[garbled shouting]
Get Kowalski away from her, men.
Excessive force is approved and encouraged.
Oh, boy! [gagging]
[screaming] No, no, no, no, no!
[grunts]
Force, excessive or otherwise,
won't be necessary, Skipper.
Oh, really?
'cause Rico hocked up a lead pipe,
and I'm kinda hankering to use this thing.
[mechanical buzzing and whining]
Sorry. I just want to go home
and be forever alone in my bunk.
[both shudder]
Hold on, pal.
Doris didn't bring you here
just to rip your heart out.
Oh, there's more?
What, is she going to compost it
for a victory garden she's planting
that consists entirely of broccoli,
which, by the way, I despise?
Have you tried it with cheese?
- No, I haven't! - Quite good with cheese.
No, I need your help, Kowalski.
It's my brother, Francis.
He's a prisoner...
a prisoner of... Seaville.
[gasps]
Seaville Aqua Fun Park.
Security is beyond state of the art.
It's the Fort Knox of aqua fun parks.
That's why we need you, ace.
You got the tech skills we need to free Doris's brother.
All this time, I never even knew she had a brother.
Francis: likes seaweed and swimming.
Dislikes nets.
Any other pointless facts you need to know?
Um, no.
Then here's what I need to know.
You in?
Just give me a moment
to discuss with my compatriots.
Upside: if I can rescue Doris' brother,
I could shove that right in Parker's smug duck face.
Downside: the only fortress harder to penetrate
than Seaville is Doris's own heart.
And my side: we do this,
you're not befouling your own bunk.
We're in.
They're in.
Yes!
Wh--what? They got one of those?
No, no, forget it, Maurice.
Turn off the dancing waters.
The penguins totally upstaged us with their trained fish.
Stupid-y penguins.
Skipper's log: "We run silent.
We run deep, right up to Seaville's back door."
Covert assault team launch.
Do I have to be on a team with him?
Here we go.
Kowalski, Rico's hypnotized by the ping machine.
Ping, ping, ping.
I promised Private I'd let him steer.
Look at me!
I'm doing a bang-up job,
aren't I, Skipper?
[crash]
Yes, Private, bang-up job.
[chuckles] So Parker's your man.
Now covert assault team launch, pronto.
[grunts]
[electronic beeps]
Security control is this way.
Follow me, if you can.
[laughs] I ge--
[crash, yelp]
- [shudders] - How about you follow me?
Okay.
They're using A.E.S. Encryption?
Pfft! Amateurs.
So you can crack it?
Is ununquadium a noble gas?
[snorting laugh] It totally is!
You were like, "What? Ununqua--" [laughs]
And you wonder why Doris doesn't like you like you.
Yeah, I w-- [squeaks]
Nice work, Kowalski.
[clears throat]
Don't you mean
"exceptional work," Skipper?
I mean, really, who else could have done this?
Answer: nobody but this guy right here,
me, the brainy guy.
Jeez, yeah, okay!
Don't dislocate a flipper patting yourself on the back.
[clears throat] Oris-day.
Huh?
Oh. I mean, yeah, Kowalski, way to go.
Gold star for you, buddy.
- [both gasp] - What the hey?
We got a situation.
- Oh, heck. - Get 'em.
No. Hold your ground.
[both grunting]
Did you guys see that? How'd you do that, man?
Toxic spurs.
Really? Like, standard equipment?
Yep, I'm evolution's grab bag.
[laughing] Nice!
Kowalski, why don't you have toxic spurs?
I mean, not like you need 'em.
I mean, you did a good job.
I do recall a gold star, or--
[metal rattling]
Francis! Francis, are you in there?
- [squeals] - Francis?
Aw, man, I can't see squat through this inky black murk.
Rico, shed some light on the subject.
Got ya!
[gagging]
- all: Yay-- - [all gasp]
Whoa.
[gasps] It can't be.
The mind boggles.
It's...
Dr. Blowhole.
Hey, penguins, you guys new to the park?
You should get back to your tanks.
They are crazy strict here.
I don't know what your game is, Blowhole,
but I will see you burn! You hear me?
Burn in the pits of Hades!
"Blowhole"?
N-no, sorry, I'm Flippy,
Seaville's second-most popular performer.
Three shows a day, four on weekends.
Kowalski, analyze this freak show.
Did you say, "free show"?
Uh, okay, fine, a few hoop jumps,
but that's it.
Skipper, the last we saw of Blowhole,
he was a victim of his own mindjacker.
He may actually still believe he is Flippy.
Here comes the triple backflip!
Woo-hoo!
He's not Flippy.
And he's not-- what did you call him?
Dr. Blowhole?
No, he's my brother, Francis.
Sorry, Doris, that's not Francis.
That is the sick svengali of the seven seas,
my arch-nemesis, Dr. Blowhole.
Let me straighten this out. You're all right.
He's both Doris's brother Francis and Dr. Blowhole.
Aw, come on. I'm shaking it down here.
The least you could do is pay attention.
And, yeah, he's Flippy too.
How would you know?
Because I work for him.
[garbled wincing]
[grunts]
Skipper!
[both grunt]
I mean, the evil him. Dr. Blowhole.
[gasps]
Aah!
Doris?
Kowalski, I want to thank you.
I couldn't have done this without you.
Parker.
- [grunts] - [groans]
Heck of a job there, Parker,
bringing back Dr. Blowhole and whatnot.
Even if he is a little, uh, different.
Wow, look at the size of this place!
Bet you guys have some parties in here, am I right?
Just pay me and I'll be on my way.
Uh, yeah, so here's the thing,
we would love to pay you your money.
But we can't.
Start making sense now or I go thermidor on your tails.
It's not our fault.
Only Dr. Blowhole can sign off
on expenditures over $50.
But just as soon as his mind is de-jacked,
getting you paid, priority one.
Uh, actually, priority number one
will be "Project: Bad Tidings."
that energy cannon is a rental.
What about my vacation request form?
Don't forget the snacks for the break room.
The cheezy-bitz are wicked stale.
Point is, getting you paid is in the top five priorities,
just as soon as we get Dr. Blowhole back.
Whoo! Hey, guys, did you check out my dive?
Back 1 1/2 somersault tuck, awesome rip entry, no splash.
Like a knife! Oh, yeah!
Hey! Whoa, hey!
Warn a guy when you're gonna do that.
Restoring Dr. Blowhole is as simple as pushing a button.
[deep computer voice] Plunger!
[chuckles] Wrong button.
McGuffium--library card-- confetti cannon--chrome claw.
Ooh! Go back to the confetti cannon.
I could use that in my routine.
This, er, uh, might take a while.
Ah, Doris. [chuckles]
Glad you're here.
There's a small matter
I've been meaning to take up with you
regarding your boyfriend, Parker.
[clears throat]
Told ya!
Oh, please. You've been suspicious
of every boyfriend I've ever had.
How was I to know that this was the one time
that you were actually right?
Seaville Amusement Park is pleased to present
Dottie the dolphin and her four
- foppish fish fanatics! - [cheering]
"Foppish?" us?
I know. Fiddle-de-dee to that.
Sure you can do this? We only get one shot.
I can. Just hold on to the rope.
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for...
the ring of fire!
all: Ooh!
This is it, men!
[cheering]
Yeah!
[winces]
[feebly] Yeah.
[playing harmonica]
[yelling]
Hey, Manfredi?
Yeah, what's that, Johnson?
Was that Skipper?
And the-- and the guys?
- Skipper! - Skipper! Guys!
- It's us! - It's us! Come back!
Whew!
That cesspool made Hoboken
look like the French Riviera.
Let's never go there again.
Look at me!
Here you are showing off your idea for chrome claw.
You remember that?
No, but nice slide.
I like the composition.
Oh, and planning Project: Bad Tidings,
remember that? By the by,
that's totally ready to go whenever you give the word.
Here we are on that three-day weekend in Cancun.
Good times. Any bells?
Fellas, I appreciate you're thinking
I'm this "Doc Blowhole" guy,
but I'm not an evil aquatic overlord.
- [groans] - I'm Flippy,
Seaville's second-most popular performer.
- [impact] - [groans]
Enough already!
I want what's coming to me, and I want it now.
Happy to oblige, Parker.
You take Blowhole. The platypus is mine.
Hi-ya! [grunting]
- Ha! - Oh!
[groans]
- Hee! Ha! - [grunts]
[grunting]
That's my eye.
Hey! You could hurt a guy like that.
Give it up, Blowhole.
Why does everyone call me that?
I'm Flippy! "F-L-I, double-P, Y."
Wait, your mind's not de-jacked yet?
What's the holdup?
- Yeah. - [grunts]
Please don't fight me.
My health care coverage hasn't kicked in yet.
- Fight him. - Wha--
- Ya! - Hoo!
Well, this hardly seems fair.
[grunting]
Told you it wasn't fair.
[grunting] How could you do it?
You had the devotion of that aquatic goddess
and you betrayed her!
I didn't want her. Never did.
You know, kinda like how she doesn't want you.
[winces] Your words hurt far more
than any punch possibly could.
[groans] Oh!
Punch definitely hurts more.
Stupid land-based fighting.
Hey, what's this?
Ha ha! I'm in the game!
Whoa!
- Oh! Ah! - Doris?
[grunts]
Ah! Ah!
Oh! Oh, sorry!
Okay, how do you drive this thing?
My fault!
That was totally me.
Ah!
Stop! Stop! Why won't you stop?
[deep computer voice] Mindjacker!
What?
- Eh, huh? - Uh, who am I?
[grunting and fighting in the background]
Ah! Whoops! Oh! Oh, sorry!
Oh, ho! The mindjacker was in the back-up scooter.
[chuckles] I am totally blushing right now.
Yeah, it's hard to tell.
Er, uh, what were we talking about?
- Wha--what? - Do I know you?
No idea. What are we doing anyway?
Looks like, uh, we were dancing.
We've got to get you out of here, Flippy!
If I get blasted and you get your memory back, then--
then what? Who are you?
Flippy, Seaville's second-most popular performer.
Three shows a day, four on weekends.
Ooh, a real, live celebrity! [grunting]
Aah! Ah! Oh!
What was my brother thinking with this thing?
Mammals are meant for water.
Ah!
[woozy groaning]
[grunts]
Sorry, sweetheart.
Just business. [grunts]
Ah! Oof!
Wuh? Oh.
I am... Dr. Blowhole.
- [grunts] - Blowhole is back!
[evil laugh]
Good. Great. Now, about my fee.
Do I know you?
Kidding, Parker.
I'll pay up, you little natural disaster.
First, let's take care of these "peng-yoo-ins."
Francis?
Sis, nice to see you,
but around here it's "Dr. Blowhole."
commands a little more respect.
Mom's going to be so disappointed in you.
And "doctor"? How's that work exactly?
Internet courses through the teaching annex, thank you.
Hello, everybody. Who'd like to play a game?
all: Me! Me! I would!
Excellent. It's called "Capture the 'peng-yoo-ins'."
- Did we win? - Yes.
Aw.
[deep electronic voice] Mindjacker!
You're restoring their minds?
Of course. What's the point of dominating the world
if your archrivals don't even know you did it?
Blowhole! You fiendish, finned freak!
Missed you too, Skipper. Good news, though.
You get to watch as I enact project...
[deep electronic voice] Bad Tidings.
Let me guess.
You're using a giant tractor beam
to bring the moon closer to the earth,
thus creating massive tidal wave chaos,
which will flood the entire world.
Well, thank you, professor spoiler,
but you left out the part where I then rule the entire world!
It's an important part. It's my favorite part.
You do that, Francis, and I swear,
I will never have you over for Thanksgiving ever again.
Don't worry, Doris. Not gonna happen.
Oh, yes, it is.
Red one, power up the cannon!
I mean, you'll try, but it won't work.
Of course it'll work. Open the blast way!
What--no, no. [mumbling]
Why don't you think it'll work?
Cavitation.
I accounted for cavitation.
And centripetal force.
I accounted for centripetal force.
- Plus axis tilt. - I accounted for that too.
Then I guess it's just balance.
- Balance? - Yeah, as in you've got none!
[garbled flailing]
Super, Kowalski!
[grunts] Uh-uh.
You are not paying me enough for this.
I will. Promise!
Dolphin exchange. Let's go!
[grunts] No. No, no. No, no, no, no!
[grunting]
By the way, Project: Bad Tidings
would totally work.
Crab cakes! I knew it. Fire the cannon!
[whistling]
[gagging]
No! Shut it off! Shut it off!
Ah, that's no good.
[yelling and groaning]
Skipper, that thing's gonna blow.
Evacuate!
Oh, dear. Look!
Thanks for the ride, jerks!
[grunts]
Consider us officially broken up.
Doris, lead the way!
[chuckling] So is your name really Francis?
[explosion]
Sorry that your boyfriend turned out to be evil.
[scoffs] Not really.
I guess next time I should listen to you, Kowalski.
You know, I've never seen you in action before.
You were so brave and smart and confident.
It was kinda... hot.
Yeah? I mean... [clears throat] Yeah.
I what I'm trying to say is, I like you, Kowalski.
Like you like you.
[laughs]
I like you, like you, like you, like you too.
- [laughs] - Oh, sorry.
- Oh. [chuckles] Yeah, um... - Just, um...
- Whoops. Just--yeah, I-- - Maybe if we--
[clears throat] Whoops. [laughs]
- Tilt your head a little-- - Tilt your head...
- Just--no, ah-- - The other way.
[kissing]
- Aw. - Finally!
Skipper, do you suppose we've finally
seen the last of Dr. Blowhole?
What a delightfully naive question, Private.
Nope! Blowhole is my arch enemy,
and arch enemies always return.
It wouldn't surprise me in the least if he is,
at this very moment, rebuilding his evil empire.
I can't pay you. My checkbook got destroyed.
What can I do?
Ow! Okay, okay!
I've got some gift cards you can have.
You like the pasta barn?
They've got bottomless salad and infinite breadsticks.
[brassy detective music]
♪ ♪