And now DreamWorks'
"The Penguins of Madagascar."
[bell tolls]
[brassy detective music]
- Hit it. - ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪
- ♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪ - Yeah.
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
[brassy detective music]
[camera shutter clicks]
Cute and cuddly, boys.
[orchestral fanfare music]
Lay some sweet morning surveillance on me, boys.
Get along, you doggie. Yee-haw!
I don't know what's going on at the lemur habitat,
but I do know we want no part of it.
[hums]
Oh. Two-second rule. Still good.
Mm-mm-mm.
Marlene, a-okay.
- Mm-hmm. - Something strange
at the chimp habitat, Skipper.
Hmm, looks like they're--
needle! Code red! He's got a needle!
Verg-a-loo! [whimpers]
Is this the start of a needle free-for-all?
First the chimps, then who?
Roger? Marlene? Mark these words.
It ain't gonna be me. Mark 'em! Not me!
You needn't worry, Skipper.
Judging by this national space program insignia
and this attached picture of Phil,
I deduce he has been drafted for space exploration,
specifically lunar.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
The rocket nerds picked the poo-flinger?
Well, why not a penguin?
Men, for too long, chimps have been the go-to species
for space exploration.
No more. This time, a penguin is going to the moon.
[cheers]
I'll disguise myself as Phil,
take his place, and then, once on the moon,
reveal my penguin identity. Boom-bam!
Little human minds blown everywhere.
- Brilliant, Skipper. - Instantaneous respect
for our dignified and proud species.
Yeah. [belches]
Just one small flaw, a tiny, teeny error.
[clears throat] I should be the one to go.
- You? - Why you?
Because traversing the inky black void of space
is complicated business, requiring a disciplined,
- scientific intellect. - They were gonna send a chimp.
A chimp who eats his toenails.
- [munching] - The only skill involved
will be smiling and waving for the cameras of the world.
Right. Which is why I should go.
- [both grunting] - I am the most photogenic.
- Sorry. - I want to go.
[scoffs] You, Rico?
Well, I hardly think that-- [shouts]
- Get off of me. - [thudding]
Fine. We're gonna compete for the glory.
Now does that appeal to your child-like sense
of fairness, Private?
Space is way, way, way treacherous.
Exiting the Earth's atmosphere will subject
the astronaut to intense G-forces.
- Hit it, Roy. - Consider it hit.
[galloping]
all: [screaming]
[whimpering]
[screaming]
Losing conscious-- ah!
[thud and grunt]
Stupid G-forces.
[zapping]
Weightlessness could induce space queasiness,
which is a lot like regular queasiness,
but in space.
Oh, no. [stomach gurgling]
[retching]
[grunts] Good golly, man.
You're vomiting everything but the kitchen sink.
- [retch] - [screams]
[thuds]
Stupid-- [hiccup] Oh.
Factoid, there is no oxygen on the moon.
Holding one's breath could mean the difference
between life or death.
[water bubbling]
[hums]
[screaming]
[continues humming]
- [thuds] - [gasps]
Oh, now you're just showing off.
Stupid lungs.
[laughs] I'm going to the moon. Yay!
I say, chaps, whatever are the gas masks for?
Silly question. The knockout gas.
- Oh, well, that makes-- - [explodes]
This is it, Private. You're off.
[grunts]
Ook, ook, I fancy a banana.
Ook, ook. Ook, ook-ook.
Hmm. Looked better in the picture.
And so the mission begins.
One brave little monkey is on that rocket.
Destination, the moon.
Correction. Brave, little penguin.
Destination, the history books.
Hoo-ha!
[fire whooshing]
- Private, report. - I'm approaching the moon.
It's, it's magnificent.
Chuck Charles coming to you live
from mission control.
We are moments away from monkey touchdown.
Initiating subset thrusters.
Contact on lunar surface in three, two, one.
- Oh, yeah. - Yeah!
- I nailed it. - High five!
The chimp has landed.
Ook, ook, look at me. I'm on the moon.
Where are the bananers? I'm in.
You guys, the moon is fantastic.
I could eat peanut butter winkies
and ice lollies all day,
and I'd still float like a feather.
Focus on the mission, Private.
Time to knock those pencil-necks
on their corduroyed keisters.
Unmask, Private. Unmask!
Roger, Skipper. Unmasking now.
Tell us, hardworking scientist,
what happens next?
Well, Chuck, we'll check on the chimp
in another 25 years or so,
but right now we bring the rocket home.
- Hey. - [beeps]
That's right, world. I am no chimp.
I'm a penguin.
And now we are a go for lunch.
- Yeah! [laughter] - All right! Lunch!
Uh, check my science, Kowalski.
Private needs that rocket to come home, right?
- Uh-huh. - [laughs]
A penguin. That's right!
Ooh, I wish I could see the looks
on your silly human faces.
This is the greatest moment in my life.
The greatest moment in any penguin's life.
[laughing]
Eh, Private, great work.
Really great stuff.
But we've had a slight snafu here on the ground.
Um... okay.
But, still, good job.
Really, really good job.
Ooh, another call. Gotta go.
Twenty-five years! Private's stuck up there for...
Twenty-five years.
Golly, how I've missed the Earth.
I can't wait to catch up on the Lunacorns.
There must be hundreds of episodes waiting.
- Oh, boy. - Private, the Lunacorns
- were canceled. - Canceled?
- Like two days after you left. - No!
I won't allow it. I can't allow it.
I will not let him grow a beard!
This, boys, has just turned into a rescue mission.
But, Skipper, each of us failed space training.
We can't--ay! Not try?
"Not try" was totally how I was going
- to end that sentence. - That's right.
Private, sit tight, buddy. We're coming for you.
Um, Skipper, the rocket ship seems to be going somewhere.
- Is that a problem? - No. No.
Um, no. Why should you be worried? [chuckles]
Kowalski, odds of Private surviving this?
One in twelve, and, Skipper,
your flipper is still on the button.
[exclaims]
- [beeping] - Let's see--
rooftops, upper atmosphere,
- moon. - [beeping]
Here come the G-forces.
all: [whimpering]
Keep it together, Kowalski.
Don't faint. [blathers]
Awake. Stay awake.
[blathers]
Oh! Thanks, Skipper.
I needed that.
[rocket rumbling]
[gasps] I didn't faint. I did it.
I am spa--oh!
Sorry, it kind of look like you were about faint again.
- No, it didn't. - Kind of did. To the moon!
Totally didn't.
[rumbling]
- Oxygen is flowing. - Hey, Rico,
how's the astro affecting the gastro, buddy?
- [moans] - That's it.
Pay no mind to the unbearable, unrelenting nausea.
That feeling you've crammed 30 pounds of spew
into a 3-pound bag.
- [screams] - [buzzing]
Now it's just a little hunch, Kowalski,
but maybe you should shut your fish hole, please.
[giggles] So fun.
- Rude. - [knock at door]
- Skipper! - Suit up, soldier.
- Your ride is here. - Yay!
- How was the trip? - Oh, it was fine.
Made good time. Kowalski managed not to faint,
and Rico only horked once.
- Um, Skipper... - [buzzing]
Rico didn't happen to hork up a chainsaw, did he?
Yeah. Pretty gross.
[exclaims]
Tell me about it.
[gasping]
Yeah, yeah, I get it. I was there, remember?
Ah! Your oxygen! Oh, man!
But you can hold your breath, right?
You nailed that competition. Remember?
You can hold your breath all day long.
- [squawks] - And me not so much,
but, on the other hand, you didn't expect this.
And, well, isn't this a moment drenched in irony?
[inhales deeply]
[air hissing]
[gasps] Oh, Skipper, you saved me.
I just want to take this opportunity to say--
[screams]
Uh, sorry.
[door opens]
[gasps] Mission accomplished.
- [beeping] - [engine whirring]
- Kowalski, take us home. - Course already plotted,
and away we go!
[rocket roaring]
I don't remember home being so red.
- Yeah. - Kowalski?
Okay, so I may have plotted that course wrong.
But, hey, positive note, we beat the chimps
and humans to Mars.
Up high! Yeah?
Flagoobagooba! all: [screaming]
[dramatic music]
It's a battle in the bayou
as the New York Behemoths collide
with the Miami Mayhem.
Ready to get your game on, Skipper?
Oh, yeah. Got my pre-game hype,
my super fan gear, my tasty array of greasy,
artery-clogging snacks.
[munching]
- Rico! - What? I got hungry.
Oh, great.
Now we got to execute another snack mission.
Come on, boys.
Actually, Skipper, Private and I
are going to pass on the game.
Pass? What? I mean, well, Private, I get.
He thinks soccer is football.
Makes more sense than throwing
a misshapen ball with your flippers.
So what's your excuse, Kowalski?
Fall is the perfect time to observe
the annual end
of photosynthetic glucose production.
Plus the leaves are so pretty.
Yes. Pretty leaves.
Anyway, since the forecast calls for a change in weather,
this might be our last chance.
All right, boys, report back on those leaves.
You know I don't trust anything that turns red.
Well, compadre, looks like it's just me and you.
- Ah, pre-game! - Hey, I can't carry
all those family fun-pack-sized snacks myself.
- It'll take at least two of us. - Got two hands right here,
my friends, with digits even.
Plus, I don't go all snarl-growl-crazy
- outside the zoo anymore. - I don't know, Marlene.
You on snack retrieval? I'm not sure
- you're mission-ready. - Come on.
If we hurry, we can get back before kickoff.
- Oh, look at that. - [shutter snaps]
It's like a Ruddy Scarlett.
- Hey, guys. - [exclaims]
- What ya doing? - Hi, Fred.
We're watching the leaves change.
- Oh. - [shutter snaps]
W-w-wait, change into what, though?
I will not engage. I will not engage.
- I will not engage. - [wind whistling]
[spy music]
Coast is clear.
Welcome to nosh heaven, Marlene.
If it comes in a wrapper, carton, or screw-top,
- they have it here. - Ooh, slushuccinos.
Okay, let's see, lemon, cherry, pineapple,
and whatever this blue color's supposed to be.
- I don't-- - Try 'em all.
Live dangerously.
Hmm, let's start with the sticky food group.
It's freakish, and it's here.
- Ooh. - The storm of the century.
If you're outside, get inside.
And, if you're inside, stay there,
because this is Snowmageddon.
Oh, that guy's always wrong.
Hey, Marlene, what channel is the game on?
- [door opens and shuts] - Uh-oh.
[heavy footsteps]
[gasps]
X. Why did it have to be X?
[camera focusing]
Um, Fred, do you mind?
- Mind what? - It's starting to snow.
No, I don't mind that it's starting to snow.
Oh, precipitous precipitation.
Perhaps we should head back before--
[gasps] Private, give me the camera.
- [gurgles] - [camera whirring]
Oh, it's X!
As in former animal control, exterminator,
temporary zookeeper, fishmonger, Officer X?
- That's him. - He's in there with Skipper?
We've got to--wah!
[wind blowing heavily]
- both: [grunting] - [wind whistling]
[footsteps]
[sniffing] Otter and...
[sniffing] penguin.
Run, Marlene. Run.
- Oh, look, Snowmageddon. - Gotcha.
[grunts]
Oh, my head hurts in five-- no, six different--ohh!
Seven--no time for that now.
- Skipper needs us. - [crash]
- Ow! - Oh, dear.
This seems to be some very hard-packed snow.
Yes. Very.
It'll take a while to dig out, but on a brighter note,
Rico's bound to have noticed the weather.
He's probably already on his way to rescue us.
Douglas drops back in the pocket,
fires, and touchdown, Behemoths!
Ooh, yeah! All right!
[cheers] Yeah!
We're not getting out of here anytime soon, are we?
No. But, listen, Private.
There's something I'm even more concerned about.
We need to keep a close eye on Fred.
[gasp] Really? Why?
Limited space combined with limited intellect
makes Fred a prime candidate for the winter madness
- known as cabin fever. - W-w-wait!
We're in a tree. What do you mean cabin?
Gosh, I would think if anyone would get cabin fever,
it'd be a smarty-pants. You know,
someone who actually understands our dire straits.
Huh. Never thought if it that way, uh, before.
[sniffing] Hmm.
This hiding space is not so sweet.
Sweet? Really? That's the joke you--
I mean, aagh!
This spot is fizzed out.
Better, but--aagh!
And that one was just garbage.
It's too much. Too much.
Now where is your penguin pal?
Hey, punster X.
I'm not a fan of you.
- Oof! - Ha!
[grumbles]
I know you're here somewhere, penguin.
And I will catch you, no matter where you hide.
[laughing] Oh, yes.
I will.
[straining]
- Acorn? - What?
Oh, no, thank you, Fred. I'm not hungry.
What? No, I was just asking
if you think this is an acorn.
Yeah, it kind of looks like a pecan to me,
but you're probably right. It's probably an acorn.
Yeah, it's definitely an acorn.
Do you have to talk so much?
Don't you understand?
Each inane word, each banal syllable
consumes more and more of our precious oxygen.
- [hyperventilates] - Kowalski?
Cabin fever!
But--but-- but I can fight it
with my intellect!
Yes, all I need do is devise a mental puzzle
to keep me-- ow!--sharp.
But what puzzle? Godel's paradox?
Mm, no, no, too easy.
How would a pair of ducks help?
Paradox!
I'm sure it makes sense to Kowalski.
[babbles]
Boo.
[grumbles]
[shivering] Skipper, do you have a plan here?
Do I? We hang tight
until this cow juice expires.
Then we use the putrid scent of curdled milk
to stun and overcome X.
[stuttering] Um, not sure about--
No, you're right. We'd totally miss the game.
Okay, now try this on.
That window. It's a little high
and getting there will be a little--
It's good. Let's go. I'm freezing.
Skipper, it totally worked. We can--
- [gasps] - A bird in the hand
is infinitely better than an otter in a rush.
But why not have both?
- [yells] - [spitting]
I believe the sign says, "All employees must wash"--
[exclaims]
Otter's gone, but it don't matter.
You, penguin,
are the triple power lotto grand jackpot prize.
The otter was just a $2 scratcher.
I'm not even sure I get that analogy,
but, gosh, I think I should be insulted.
[muttering] Carry the eight...
yes, yes, yes, this is making sense.
Yes! Yes, I think I've got--
- Acorn? - Oh!
I know what you're thinking.
It's gonna taste like corn.
But, weird thing, it doesn't.
You--you interrupted me for that?
I wa--I wa--I wa-- I was this close
to solving an ancient mystery that has haunted science
since the dawn of time.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
I almost cracked it. Almost.
But then you had to offer me an acorn!
[crash]
It tastes nutty. You know what?
I think they should call it an "a-nut."
That's it! No more--no more fighting!
- I've got... - [bell dings]
Cabin fever!
[babbling]
- What's with him? - Well, he'd very much like
to leave this tree.
As would I.
Oh.
So why don't you just go out through the basement?
Fred, what makes you think a tree has a basement?
'Cause it's my house.
This is your house?
You couldn't have mentioned that earlier?
[flushing]
- Thanks, Fred. - No problem.
Oh, and, Kowalski,
a woodchuck would chuck about 3 logs' worth,
given a standard diameter of 14 inches
and the typical hardness of an oak.
You know, if they could chuck wood.
Oh.
We're coming, Skipper!
Animal control?
Let me speak to the top dog.
No, I don't want to talk to an actual dog.
I want to talk to the boss lady.
Why, yes, it is indeed former animal control officer X.
Who is this? Dave?
Well, I don't know why you need to know that, Dave.
All you need to know is I need to talk
to Supervisor Eubanks.
Well, yes, it does have to do with a penguin.
What of it? I--hello?
Dave?
I never liked Dave. But that's okay.
I'd trudge through 100 blizzards
to deliver you to justice.
If you're gonna do that,
be sure to hydrate.
[howls]
Really? You couldn't have done that sooner?
I really hate the taste of licorice.
So what do you think?
- Pretty good, huh? - "Remember to hydrate"?
A little weak, but the action,
that was pure penguin gold, Marlene.
Well, thank you.
Actually, I was kind of--
Thought no one was minding the store, hmm?
Wrong. X is always on the job.
[laughs]
Oh!
[moans]
Ha-he-hoo! Skipper, we're here!
And ready for acti-- oh... kay, never mind.
Skipper, we were so worried about you.
Ah, you nervous nellies,
X was nothing Marlene and I couldn't handle.
- We bad. - Now let's get back home
so I can at least see the end of the game.
A real nail-biter.
Never have I seen a more exciting finish.
Whoo! Wow.
But in the end the Behemoths take it,
27-26.
Hey, where you been?
[groans]