1
00:00:03,498 --> 00:00:04,623
[fuse crackling]

2
00:00:04,706 --> 00:00:07,581
[grand big band music]

3
00:00:07,664 --> 00:00:10,039
♪ ♪

4
00:00:10,123 --> 00:00:11,873
[explosion]

5
00:00:11,956 --> 00:00:15,039
[thrilling horn music]

6
00:00:15,123 --> 00:00:19,539
♪ ♪

7
00:00:22,373 --> 00:00:24,581
It looked a lot more exciting
on the box.

8
00:00:24,664 --> 00:00:26,706
It always does, Kowalski.

9
00:00:26,789 --> 00:00:30,123
All right, now,
summer vacation status report.

10
00:00:30,206 --> 00:00:31,414
Cargo loaded, Skipper.

11
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,289
We're set
for a full week's fishing

12
00:00:33,373 --> 00:00:34,748
off the Massachusetts coast.

13
00:00:34,831 --> 00:00:36,206
Outstanding.

14
00:00:36,289 --> 00:00:39,956
I'm dying to tango
with their mysterious cape cod.

15
00:00:40,039 --> 00:00:41,039
Hah!

16
00:00:41,123 --> 00:00:42,664
[slurping]

17
00:00:42,748 --> 00:00:43,789
Rock and roll!

18
00:00:43,873 --> 00:00:45,289
Let's float this bucket.

19
00:00:45,373 --> 00:00:47,581
Kowalski, how's our cover?

20
00:00:47,664 --> 00:00:50,164
[projection whirring]

21
00:00:50,248 --> 00:00:55,456
Classic smiling and waving
with a holographic twist.

22
00:00:55,539 --> 00:00:57,748
Hi!

23
00:00:57,831 --> 00:01:00,581
[hologram crackling
and humming]

24
00:01:00,664 --> 00:01:02,081
Hi!

25
00:01:02,164 --> 00:01:03,248
Hello!

26
00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:06,623
Yes, it is still me
waving to you.

27
00:01:06,706 --> 00:01:09,873
My arm is getting heavy.

28
00:01:12,414 --> 00:01:15,331
[seagulls screeching]

29
00:01:19,081 --> 00:01:23,248
Three hours of smooth sailing
to Nantucket Sound, Skipper.

30
00:01:23,331 --> 00:01:25,248
[inhales deeply]
Take it in, boys.

31
00:01:25,331 --> 00:01:27,914
That's the salty air
of sweet freedom.

32
00:01:27,998 --> 00:01:30,414
There are no rules
on the open water.

33
00:01:30,498 --> 00:01:32,081
Oh, yeah?

34
00:01:32,164 --> 00:01:34,331
[thwacking]

35
00:01:34,414 --> 00:01:36,331
[fire cannon hissing]

36
00:01:36,414 --> 00:01:37,331
Checkmate.

37
00:01:37,414 --> 00:01:38,373
Skipper?

38
00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:39,914
Open water, Private.

39
00:01:39,998 --> 00:01:41,914
You know, legally,
he could sell you to pirates

40
00:01:41,998 --> 00:01:45,164
for whale oil
and a barrel of nutmeg.

41
00:01:45,248 --> 00:01:47,289
No. I mean, Skipper...

42
00:01:47,373 --> 00:01:48,914
Egad!

43
00:01:48,998 --> 00:01:50,206
The weather
started getting rough.

44
00:01:50,289 --> 00:01:51,206
[lightning cracking]

45
00:01:51,289 --> 00:01:53,748
Our tiny ship will be tossed!

46
00:01:53,831 --> 00:01:55,123
Hold fast!

47
00:01:55,206 --> 00:01:57,414
It's barely
a three-hour tour from here.

48
00:01:57,498 --> 00:01:59,748
A three-hour tour!

49
00:01:59,831 --> 00:02:00,706
[lightning cracking]

50
00:02:00,789 --> 00:02:02,248
Ahh!

51
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,831
Hoist the mainsail.

52
00:02:04,914 --> 00:02:07,789
[whimpering]

53
00:02:07,873 --> 00:02:10,039
Or is it cut the mainsail?
Let's see...

54
00:02:10,123 --> 00:02:12,873
"when the weather's turning
moist, always cut, never hoist."

55
00:02:12,956 --> 00:02:14,539
- Uh...
- [ship groans]

56
00:02:14,623 --> 00:02:15,539
[penguins screaming]

57
00:02:15,623 --> 00:02:17,039
[lightning cracking]

58
00:02:17,123 --> 00:02:19,456
Ahh!

59
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:20,539
Bah!

60
00:02:20,623 --> 00:02:21,581
[wretches]

61
00:02:21,664 --> 00:02:22,623
Ah!

62
00:02:22,706 --> 00:02:23,998
Aw, come on.

63
00:02:26,289 --> 00:02:27,706
There, you see?

64
00:02:27,789 --> 00:02:29,706
The sun always comes out to--

65
00:02:29,789 --> 00:02:32,873
[screaming]

66
00:02:34,789 --> 00:02:36,664
- Ow!
- Uh...

67
00:02:36,748 --> 00:02:38,206
Holy cow. You see that?

68
00:02:38,289 --> 00:02:40,581
Penguins falling out of the sky
over here.

69
00:02:40,664 --> 00:02:42,748
Oh, well, boys,

70
00:02:42,831 --> 00:02:46,414
looks like we're starting this
vacation back from square one.

71
00:02:46,498 --> 00:02:48,164
Oh, they look pretty rough.

72
00:02:48,248 --> 00:02:50,373
Somebody ought to get them
back to the zoo.

73
00:02:50,456 --> 00:02:51,664
What, are you crazy?

74
00:02:51,748 --> 00:02:53,748
I ain't driving all the way
to Manhattan.

75
00:02:53,831 --> 00:02:55,331
Who said anything
about Manhattan?

76
00:02:55,414 --> 00:02:57,831
We got a zoo
right here in Hoboken.

77
00:02:57,914 --> 00:02:59,248
[all gasp]

78
00:02:59,331 --> 00:03:00,289
[sirens wailing]

79
00:03:00,373 --> 00:03:01,414
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

80
00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:03,039
[explosion]

81
00:03:03,123 --> 00:03:04,914
all: No!

82
00:03:07,373 --> 00:03:08,289
Hola.

83
00:03:08,373 --> 00:03:09,664
Aloha.

84
00:03:09,748 --> 00:03:12,248
Konnichiwa.

85
00:03:12,331 --> 00:03:13,664
Oh, too lazy?

86
00:03:13,748 --> 00:03:16,873
How dare you bow down
at something that is not me?

87
00:03:16,956 --> 00:03:20,123
[weakly] The penguins...

88
00:03:20,206 --> 00:03:22,581
[sarcastically]
Oh, the penguins?

89
00:03:22,664 --> 00:03:25,414
Well, floppity, floppity,
fa-fa-fa!

90
00:03:25,498 --> 00:03:27,414
What is so special about--

91
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:28,831
Oh, hello!

92
00:03:28,914 --> 00:03:31,414
[chuckles] Howdy!

93
00:03:31,498 --> 00:03:35,623
Uh, yes, it is still me
waving to you...

94
00:03:35,706 --> 00:03:37,331
with both hands.

95
00:03:37,414 --> 00:03:40,123
Uh, your majesty?

96
00:03:40,206 --> 00:03:41,914
[gasps]
Something unspeakable

97
00:03:41,998 --> 00:03:44,414
must have become
of the penguins.

98
00:03:44,498 --> 00:03:47,414
Ooh... squatter party!

99
00:03:47,498 --> 00:03:48,623
[festive music]

100
00:03:48,706 --> 00:03:50,623
Yee-haw!

101
00:03:50,706 --> 00:03:52,581
I'm a bazooka cowboy!

102
00:03:52,664 --> 00:03:54,248
[explosion]

103
00:03:54,331 --> 00:03:58,539
Hey, I'm just saying,
you don't have to be lonely.

104
00:03:58,623 --> 00:03:59,539
[retches]

105
00:03:59,623 --> 00:04:01,289
[shudders]

106
00:04:01,373 --> 00:04:05,373
Hoboken... the New Jersey
nightmare comes true at last.

107
00:04:05,456 --> 00:04:07,998
Remember, boys,
penguins go down fighting,

108
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,998
even if we lose one of our own.

109
00:04:10,081 --> 00:04:11,289
I'm betting Private.

110
00:04:11,373 --> 00:04:12,289
Me too.

111
00:04:12,373 --> 00:04:14,039
Ah!

112
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,498
I'm scared, Skipper.

113
00:04:15,581 --> 00:04:16,498
Use that fear, Private.

114
00:04:16,581 --> 00:04:17,664
Choke it down.

115
00:04:17,748 --> 00:04:19,998
Make it a tiny hate ball
in your gut.

116
00:04:20,081 --> 00:04:21,373
Now show me your war face!

117
00:04:21,456 --> 00:04:23,164
[penguins shouting]

118
00:04:23,248 --> 00:04:26,331
Hoboken!

119
00:04:26,414 --> 00:04:27,831
[penguins shouting]

120
00:04:27,914 --> 00:04:29,539
- Huh?
- Eh?

121
00:04:29,623 --> 00:04:32,498
[dreamy trill]

122
00:04:35,581 --> 00:04:36,498
What was that?

123
00:04:36,581 --> 00:04:38,456
[babbling]

124
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:39,456
Whoa!

125
00:04:39,539 --> 00:04:40,831
Ahh.

126
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:41,873
Lulu?

127
00:04:41,956 --> 00:04:43,706
Phil's old simian flame?

128
00:04:43,789 --> 00:04:45,498
[puffs]
It's all right, everyone.

129
00:04:45,581 --> 00:04:47,873
You can come out now.

130
00:04:47,956 --> 00:04:50,331
Hans?

131
00:04:50,414 --> 00:04:52,664
Savio?

132
00:04:52,748 --> 00:04:54,414
Clemson and Rhonda too?

133
00:04:54,498 --> 00:04:57,123
What in the name
of returning guest characters?

134
00:04:57,206 --> 00:04:58,706
It's villain-mageddon.

135
00:04:58,789 --> 00:05:00,914
Not even close, my former foe.

136
00:05:00,998 --> 00:05:03,414
It's time for a taste...

137
00:05:03,498 --> 00:05:06,664
of Hoboken hospitality.

138
00:05:06,748 --> 00:05:09,289
[zippy music]

139
00:05:09,373 --> 00:05:11,623
♪ It's a happy little land
of Hoboken ♪

140
00:05:11,706 --> 00:05:13,956
♪ Where an unkind word
is never spoken ♪

141
00:05:14,039 --> 00:05:15,414
♪ You can bet
your left flipper ♪

142
00:05:15,498 --> 00:05:19,164
♪ That we'll get you
feeling chipper today ♪

143
00:05:19,248 --> 00:05:21,748
♪ For the price
of a lousy subway token ♪

144
00:05:21,831 --> 00:05:24,331
♪ You can catch the next train
to Hoboken ♪

145
00:05:24,414 --> 00:05:25,581
♪ Let our wares
lose the cares ♪

146
00:05:25,664 --> 00:05:26,789
♪ From your droopy
derrieres ♪

147
00:05:26,873 --> 00:05:29,414
all: ♪ Okay ♪

148
00:05:29,498 --> 00:05:32,581
♪ We were once quite rotten ♪

149
00:05:32,664 --> 00:05:34,164
Tragic, yet true.

150
00:05:34,248 --> 00:05:37,873
♪ Naughty ninnies
one and all were we ♪

151
00:05:37,956 --> 00:05:39,456
Not me.

152
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:44,414
♪ Yes, fine,
I was speaking generally ♪

153
00:05:44,498 --> 00:05:47,581
♪ But here,
our past is forgotten ♪

154
00:05:47,664 --> 00:05:49,248
So we're good? I'm good.

155
00:05:49,331 --> 00:05:52,081
all: ♪ It's the end of summer
anti-bummer ♪

156
00:05:52,164 --> 00:05:56,998
♪ Lap of zoo luxury ♪

157
00:05:59,789 --> 00:06:02,081
all: ♪ In the perky,
peppy land of Hoboken, ♪

158
00:06:02,164 --> 00:06:04,581
♪ Where your anger
never gets provoken... ♪

159
00:06:04,664 --> 00:06:05,956
♪ No more holding
bitter grudges ♪

160
00:06:06,039 --> 00:06:07,081
♪ Every Tuesday,
we make fudges ♪

161
00:06:07,164 --> 00:06:08,789
♪ No way ♪

162
00:06:08,873 --> 00:06:09,873
What?

163
00:06:09,956 --> 00:06:12,289
♪ It's paradise ♪

164
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:14,914
♪ They serve
the freshest mice ♪

165
00:06:14,998 --> 00:06:17,123
♪ It turns the bad to nice ♪

166
00:06:17,206 --> 00:06:20,539
all: ♪ In the happy,
little land of Ho-- ♪

167
00:06:20,623 --> 00:06:22,789
Hi-ya! Huh! Ha!

168
00:06:22,873 --> 00:06:23,789
Skipper, no!

169
00:06:23,873 --> 00:06:25,373
Whoa!

170
00:06:25,456 --> 00:06:28,123
Don't tell me you're buying
this sing-song claptrap.

171
00:06:28,206 --> 00:06:32,123
It's Hoboken,
where hopes goes to croak.

172
00:06:32,206 --> 00:06:33,998
Okay, technically,
you're right.

173
00:06:35,456 --> 00:06:37,248
Don't look so smug.
I said you're right.

174
00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:38,873
But Hoboken has changed.

175
00:06:38,956 --> 00:06:42,248
We got this new lady in charge,
zookeeper Frances--

176
00:06:42,331 --> 00:06:44,664
sister knows her swank.

177
00:06:44,748 --> 00:06:48,498
Frances gives us activities,
fine cuisine,

178
00:06:48,581 --> 00:06:50,498
even massage chairs.

179
00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:53,498
And who does not love
a good massage chair?

180
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:57,123
[stuttering]
Oh-h-h, y-y-y-yes.

181
00:06:57,206 --> 00:06:59,498
In such a paradise,
who could remain evil?

182
00:06:59,581 --> 00:07:00,539
Not me.

183
00:07:00,623 --> 00:07:02,498
I second that.
Or is it third?

184
00:07:02,581 --> 00:07:04,498
I lost track,
I'm so happy over here.

185
00:07:04,581 --> 00:07:08,081
[stuttering]
S-s-so h-h-h-happy...

186
00:07:08,164 --> 00:07:09,331
Actually, Skipper,

187
00:07:09,414 --> 00:07:10,914
the new Hoboken Zoo does look

188
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:12,789
like a smashing vacation spot.

189
00:07:12,873 --> 00:07:15,789
Rico, knock the pixie dust
out of Private's eyes.

190
00:07:15,873 --> 00:07:16,789
- Okay.
- Oof!

191
00:07:16,873 --> 00:07:18,414
I am not vacationing

192
00:07:18,498 --> 00:07:21,539
in New Jersey's
own ninth portal of Hades.

193
00:07:21,623 --> 00:07:23,539
I assure you,
this zoo is perfectly--

194
00:07:23,623 --> 00:07:26,289
Are those my new arrivals
I hear?

195
00:07:26,373 --> 00:07:27,664
Zookeeper incoming.

196
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:28,789
Bug out, men.

197
00:07:28,873 --> 00:07:30,123
[suspenseful music]

198
00:07:30,206 --> 00:07:32,539
[grunting]

199
00:07:32,623 --> 00:07:35,206
Honestly, I don't see
what's so wrong here.

200
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,539
Open your nose, Private.

201
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:39,706
This zoo reeks
of dark master plans.

202
00:07:39,789 --> 00:07:43,498
Question is,
who's the dark mastermind?

203
00:07:43,581 --> 00:07:45,289
[penguins gasp]

204
00:07:45,373 --> 00:07:47,623
♪ In the shiny, tiny land
of Hoboken ♪

205
00:07:47,706 --> 00:07:50,123
♪ Where nothing's ever dirty
or broken ♪

206
00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:51,539
♪ Here's a tip: stay awhile ♪

207
00:07:51,623 --> 00:07:55,289
♪ Take a trip
to the smile buffet ♪

208
00:07:55,373 --> 00:08:00,539
♪ In the happy, little land
of Hoboken ♪

209
00:08:00,623 --> 00:08:06,331
♪ U.S.A. ♪

210
00:08:07,123 --> 00:08:08,414
Hooray!

211
00:08:08,498 --> 00:08:09,748
- Dark mastermind.
- Totally.

212
00:08:09,831 --> 00:08:12,914
Welcome, welcome,
spanking new Hobokeners.

213
00:08:12,998 --> 00:08:16,664
Oh, I am gonna take such
good care of you. [giggles]

214
00:08:16,748 --> 00:08:17,914
Why does there always
have to be

215
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,914
an evil mastermind with you?

216
00:08:19,998 --> 00:08:22,289
I think someone just
can't let themselves unwind

217
00:08:22,373 --> 00:08:24,123
and enjoy a proper holiday.

218
00:08:24,206 --> 00:08:27,039
[gurgling]

219
00:08:27,123 --> 00:08:28,456
Behold:

220
00:08:28,539 --> 00:08:30,998
the Hoboken emergency
hollow tooth.

221
00:08:31,081 --> 00:08:33,373
But we don't have teeth.

222
00:08:33,456 --> 00:08:34,748
You think I don't know that?

223
00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:36,581
Hoboken emergency activate.

224
00:08:36,664 --> 00:08:38,206
[robotic voice]
Save us from Hoboken.

225
00:08:38,289 --> 00:08:40,289
We are in Hoboken.

226
00:08:40,373 --> 00:08:42,248
Seriously. Hoboken.

227
00:08:42,331 --> 00:08:45,039
It's in New Jersey, Exit 14C.

228
00:08:45,123 --> 00:08:46,956
Shouldn't we do something
about that?

229
00:08:47,039 --> 00:08:48,706
Ptoo!

230
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:51,789
[garbled voice dwindles]

231
00:08:51,873 --> 00:08:53,831
You know that doesn't
really fix the problem.

232
00:08:53,914 --> 00:08:57,456
But it fixed my problem of
not hearing the television box.

233
00:08:57,539 --> 00:09:00,581
Now swivel the royal melon.

234
00:09:00,664 --> 00:09:04,164
You're watching the Nonstop
Dance Boogie Network.

235
00:09:04,248 --> 00:09:05,456
[excitedly] Oh, ooh-ooh.

236
00:09:05,539 --> 00:09:08,998
Uh, Mr. Mort,
set the booty to stunning.

237
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:10,039
Ptoo!

238
00:09:10,123 --> 00:09:11,456
[whispering] Boogie down.

239
00:09:11,539 --> 00:09:13,123
Engage.

240
00:09:13,206 --> 00:09:16,456
Now let's get back
to Bavarian Polka Week.

241
00:09:16,539 --> 00:09:18,873
[gasps]
German folk music?

242
00:09:18,956 --> 00:09:21,206
My booty's only weakness.

243
00:09:21,289 --> 00:09:22,998
Ahh, change it! Change it!

244
00:09:23,081 --> 00:09:24,623
[polka music]

245
00:09:24,706 --> 00:09:26,706
This is
the most disgusting thing

246
00:09:26,789 --> 00:09:29,539
I ever have been made
to witness.

247
00:09:29,623 --> 00:09:32,164
Although maybe
after the shock wears off...

248
00:09:32,248 --> 00:09:34,289
No! No!

249
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:36,414
It is even worse
the second time.

250
00:09:36,498 --> 00:09:39,331
Maurice, why are you
not making it go away?

251
00:09:39,414 --> 00:09:41,331
We can't find the remote,
your majesty.

252
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,248
What?
This is the most outrageous...

253
00:09:44,331 --> 00:09:48,123
Ahh! I got so outraged
I forgot the not looking!

254
00:09:48,206 --> 00:09:49,248
[cries]

255
00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:51,748
This lack
of remote control-iness

256
00:09:51,831 --> 00:09:56,664
is unacceptable hospitality,
and somebody must pay.

257
00:09:56,748 --> 00:09:57,956
Is it the penguins?

258
00:09:58,039 --> 00:10:00,456
Uh, yeah, sure.
They'll do.

259
00:10:00,539 --> 00:10:04,081
If only I knew
where to find and yell at them.

260
00:10:04,164 --> 00:10:05,706
I'd try Hoboken.

261
00:10:05,789 --> 00:10:10,289
But I am having
a much better idea.

262
00:10:10,373 --> 00:10:13,289
[giggles] So, obviously,
we weren't expecting you,

263
00:10:13,373 --> 00:10:15,164
but I'm sure you can
get along with a puffin

264
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,456
until we fix up
a proper habitat.

265
00:10:16,539 --> 00:10:18,623
[gasps] The puffin.

266
00:10:20,123 --> 00:10:21,789
[sing-songy] Have fun!

267
00:10:21,873 --> 00:10:25,998
Oh, yeah, we are going to be
the best of chummy fun pals.

268
00:10:26,081 --> 00:10:27,289
No, Jaw.

269
00:10:27,373 --> 00:10:30,164
I'm not your fun pal,
you demented dame.

270
00:10:30,248 --> 00:10:32,539
I need evil zookeeper
intel asap.

271
00:10:32,623 --> 00:10:34,498
So are you gonna
spill your gizzard,

272
00:10:34,581 --> 00:10:36,206
or do I spill it for you?

273
00:10:36,289 --> 00:10:39,206
[dramatic music]

274
00:10:39,289 --> 00:10:40,831
Tickle fight!

275
00:10:40,914 --> 00:10:42,373
[laughing hysterically]

276
00:10:42,456 --> 00:10:45,039
Ooh, oh-ho-ho,
somebody has a tickle spot.

277
00:10:45,123 --> 00:10:47,206
Massage chair party.
Who's in?

278
00:10:47,289 --> 00:10:53,206
I am in!

279
00:10:53,289 --> 00:10:55,123
Kowalski, analysis.

280
00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:58,914
It appears zookeeper Frances
has them too terrified to talk.

281
00:10:58,998 --> 00:11:00,706
Instead, they mask their fear

282
00:11:00,789 --> 00:11:03,998
with hollow smiles
and tickle games.

283
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,914
[laughing hysterically]

284
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,081
Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it!

285
00:11:07,164 --> 00:11:08,706
Aw...

286
00:11:08,789 --> 00:11:11,789
What has that perky fiend
done to them?

287
00:11:11,873 --> 00:11:14,498
[groaning happily]

288
00:11:21,164 --> 00:11:22,539
[garbled voice]
Massage chair.

289
00:11:22,623 --> 00:11:23,748
[dwindling]
Massage chair...

290
00:11:25,289 --> 00:11:27,373
And now it's the mini vac.

291
00:11:27,456 --> 00:11:29,289
That's six straight hours
of cleaning.

292
00:11:29,373 --> 00:11:31,748
Somebody needs a hobby.

293
00:11:31,831 --> 00:11:33,831
Evil is her hobby.

294
00:11:33,914 --> 00:11:37,039
And no mini vac can suck up
its malignant stench.

295
00:11:37,123 --> 00:11:39,289
Whoo!

296
00:11:39,373 --> 00:11:41,581
This is the greatest vacation
ever!

297
00:11:42,831 --> 00:11:43,748
Ooh.

298
00:11:43,831 --> 00:11:45,831
All right, you soft pretzels.

299
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,998
We're cracking this dame's
happy, cacky racket.

300
00:11:49,081 --> 00:11:50,456
Kowalski, check the big book

301
00:11:50,539 --> 00:11:52,289
of mad zookeeper conspiracies.

302
00:11:52,373 --> 00:11:53,373
Let's see.

303
00:11:53,456 --> 00:11:55,331
There's entire zoo swapped out

304
00:11:55,414 --> 00:11:57,664
for look-a-like robots.

305
00:11:57,748 --> 00:11:58,623
[thwap]

306
00:11:58,706 --> 00:12:00,373
- Ah!
- Hmm. Nope.

307
00:12:00,456 --> 00:12:01,498
That's a good fleshy feel.

308
00:12:01,581 --> 00:12:03,289
What else you got?

309
00:12:03,373 --> 00:12:06,789
Paranoid scenario number two:
animals are hunted for sport

310
00:12:06,873 --> 00:12:08,873
by the world's lunatic billionaires.

311
00:12:08,956 --> 00:12:11,956
Too bad they made
one classic mistake:

312
00:12:12,039 --> 00:12:14,081
never hunt a hunter.

313
00:12:14,164 --> 00:12:15,789
Hi-ya!

314
00:12:15,873 --> 00:12:17,373
[gasps]

315
00:12:17,456 --> 00:12:19,539
That bird hit teacher J.J.

316
00:12:19,623 --> 00:12:21,164
[children shouting angrily]

317
00:12:21,248 --> 00:12:22,331
[shudders]

318
00:12:22,414 --> 00:12:23,956
Oh, ooh, ow.

319
00:12:24,039 --> 00:12:24,998
Oof!

320
00:12:25,081 --> 00:12:27,039
So many tiny hands.

321
00:12:27,123 --> 00:12:29,914
[children shouting]

322
00:12:29,998 --> 00:12:31,664
[computer keys clacking]

323
00:12:31,748 --> 00:12:33,581
Tell me what I'm looking for, Kowalski.

324
00:12:33,664 --> 00:12:35,373
Any evidence
that zookeeper Frances

325
00:12:35,456 --> 00:12:37,289
is consorting with aliens, demons,

326
00:12:37,373 --> 00:12:39,914
and/or man-eating
carnivorous plants.

327
00:12:39,998 --> 00:12:41,039
I got nothin'.

328
00:12:41,123 --> 00:12:42,123
All I've got is some kind

329
00:12:42,206 --> 00:12:43,789
of zoo animal brochure.

330
00:12:43,873 --> 00:12:46,539
Skipper, this is no brochure.

331
00:12:46,623 --> 00:12:50,331
No, no, it's a... cookbook!

332
00:12:50,414 --> 00:12:51,456
What?

333
00:12:51,539 --> 00:12:52,998
Mm. Wait a minute...

334
00:12:53,081 --> 00:12:54,123
[shrieks]

335
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:56,206
Uh, nope, heh.

336
00:12:56,289 --> 00:12:57,831
It's a brochure.

337
00:12:57,914 --> 00:13:00,873
Ooh, did you know they have
a cheese fountain here?

338
00:13:00,956 --> 00:13:01,914
What? Wow!

339
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:04,914
[blathering]

340
00:13:04,998 --> 00:13:07,331
[festive music]

341
00:13:07,414 --> 00:13:08,331
[animals laughing and talking]

342
00:13:08,414 --> 00:13:10,373
Who doesn't like free cheese?

343
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,039
[spits]

344
00:13:12,123 --> 00:13:14,498
Party!

345
00:13:15,789 --> 00:13:16,706
Who-oa.

346
00:13:16,789 --> 00:13:17,873
[grunts]

347
00:13:17,956 --> 00:13:18,998
[pins strike]

348
00:13:19,081 --> 00:13:20,373
Ah! Eee! Ooh!

349
00:13:20,456 --> 00:13:22,748
Yes! In Mort's face!

350
00:13:22,831 --> 00:13:24,539
And stomach and other parts.

351
00:13:24,623 --> 00:13:26,039
I'm confused.

352
00:13:26,123 --> 00:13:27,998
Why did you think the penguins
would be here?

353
00:13:28,081 --> 00:13:31,706
What? No, no,
I said I had a better idea.

354
00:13:31,789 --> 00:13:34,539
[chuckling]
This was way more fun.

355
00:13:34,623 --> 00:13:36,289
But now that I am bored,

356
00:13:36,373 --> 00:13:39,039
let us go find
and yell at the penguins.

357
00:13:39,123 --> 00:13:42,414
[slapping and groaning]

358
00:13:42,498 --> 00:13:45,289
Okay,
it appears we're not asleep

359
00:13:45,373 --> 00:13:47,289
in some backwards dream world.

360
00:13:47,373 --> 00:13:48,831
Really? Eh, better be sure.

361
00:13:48,914 --> 00:13:51,539
No, Skipper,
I'm afraid that's it.

362
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:53,414
In my scientific opinion,

363
00:13:53,498 --> 00:13:56,123
there is only one
plausible alternative:

364
00:13:56,206 --> 00:13:57,873
This place is...

365
00:13:57,956 --> 00:13:59,248
awesome!

366
00:13:59,331 --> 00:14:01,081
Whoo-hoo!

367
00:14:01,164 --> 00:14:03,373
[stuttering happily]

368
00:14:03,456 --> 00:14:05,248
You blind fools.

369
00:14:05,331 --> 00:14:07,373
You're living a false paradise,

370
00:14:07,456 --> 00:14:09,123
and when it comes
crashing down...

371
00:14:09,206 --> 00:14:11,456
[massage chair whirring loudly]

372
00:14:11,539 --> 00:14:12,748
What's he on about?

373
00:14:12,831 --> 00:14:16,914
[stuttering]
I have no idea-a-a.

374
00:14:16,998 --> 00:14:20,706
This entire festering pustule
of filth-ridden putridity--

375
00:14:20,789 --> 00:14:22,831
[giggling]
Oh, Commissioner McSlade...

376
00:14:22,914 --> 00:14:26,456
they just don't make mid-level
bureaucrats like you anymore.

377
00:14:26,539 --> 00:14:28,748
Oh, true that, Frances.

378
00:14:28,831 --> 00:14:31,289
New York Parks Commissioner
Purvis McSlade?

379
00:14:31,373 --> 00:14:33,956
What back alley intrigue
is this?

380
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:39,206
Wow, this place
used to be a dump.

381
00:14:39,289 --> 00:14:42,581
But now, wow, you could eat
off these floors.

382
00:14:42,664 --> 00:14:43,748
[twinkling]

383
00:14:43,831 --> 00:14:45,414
Chk-pew!
How did you do it?

384
00:14:45,498 --> 00:14:49,081
Uh-uh-uh! Zookeeper secret.

385
00:14:49,164 --> 00:14:50,706
Ooh, sassy.

386
00:14:50,789 --> 00:14:52,456
That's a leadership quality.

387
00:14:52,539 --> 00:14:55,873
You, madam,
are a zookeeper with a future.

388
00:14:55,956 --> 00:14:58,623
Ooh, what's behind this door?

389
00:14:58,706 --> 00:15:00,248
Nothing! Oh, it's nothing.

390
00:15:00,331 --> 00:15:02,706
[laughing nervously] It's
literally a doorway to nothing.

391
00:15:02,789 --> 00:15:04,414
Oh, nothing, huh?

392
00:15:04,498 --> 00:15:05,498
Ha!

393
00:15:05,581 --> 00:15:06,498
Wha? No, no, no!

394
00:15:06,581 --> 00:15:07,748
Hi-ya!

395
00:15:07,831 --> 00:15:08,664
Ah!

396
00:15:08,748 --> 00:15:10,498
Behold the sinister secret

397
00:15:10,581 --> 00:15:12,164
at the heart of--guh?

398
00:15:12,248 --> 00:15:14,164
[majestic music]

399
00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:15,664
I am so embarrassed.

400
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,664
Oh, it's just you've always
been a hero of mine.

401
00:15:17,748 --> 00:15:20,081
I--I call it my
"inspiration nook."

402
00:15:20,164 --> 00:15:21,498
Inspiration nook?

403
00:15:21,581 --> 00:15:23,123
I love it!

404
00:15:23,206 --> 00:15:25,164
Does this mean
I'm coming to the Big Leagues?

405
00:15:25,248 --> 00:15:26,873
The Big Apple Leagues.

406
00:15:26,956 --> 00:15:29,123
Welcome to the New York Parks Commission.

407
00:15:29,206 --> 00:15:30,331
Yes!

408
00:15:30,414 --> 00:15:31,831
[gasps]
Just give me a minute

409
00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:33,206
to take care
of this little scamp.

410
00:15:33,289 --> 00:15:35,248
Hm... oh!

411
00:15:35,331 --> 00:15:37,331
No dark underbelly?

412
00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:39,664
Is it possible I was wrong?

413
00:15:39,748 --> 00:15:43,123
Is Hoboken really some
hidden vacation paradise?

414
00:15:46,123 --> 00:15:49,164
[sing-songy]
Down you go.

415
00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:50,206
Ahh!

416
00:15:50,289 --> 00:15:51,789
Oh, no, no, no.

417
00:15:51,873 --> 00:15:55,123
This zoo
is for sanitary animals.

418
00:15:55,206 --> 00:15:59,164
All dirty birdies go down the
garbage chute where they belong.

419
00:15:59,248 --> 00:16:00,206
Bye-bye.

420
00:16:00,289 --> 00:16:03,248
[screaming]

421
00:16:03,331 --> 00:16:04,248
Ahh!

422
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,248
Uh!

423
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:06,539
[grunts]

424
00:16:06,623 --> 00:16:08,623
Hoboken!

425
00:16:08,706 --> 00:16:10,539
Knock it off, flat brow.

426
00:16:10,623 --> 00:16:12,414
Some of us prisoners
are trying to sleep.

427
00:16:12,498 --> 00:16:14,331
Prisoners? How?

428
00:16:14,414 --> 00:16:15,706
We can answer that, Skipper.

429
00:16:15,789 --> 00:16:17,748
I saw you all topside.

430
00:16:17,831 --> 00:16:20,414
If you're down here,
then who are they up there?

431
00:16:20,498 --> 00:16:22,039
The phony abalones?

432
00:16:22,123 --> 00:16:25,456
They are the fruits of zookeeper
Frances's twisted obsession.

433
00:16:25,539 --> 00:16:26,914
- Cloning?
- Cleaning.

434
00:16:27,039 --> 00:16:28,831
That lady cannot stand a mess.

435
00:16:28,914 --> 00:16:30,081
Look, can we be honest here?

436
00:16:30,164 --> 00:16:31,623
Of course we can.
We're friends.

437
00:16:31,706 --> 00:16:32,623
Well, not friends
the way I think of it.

438
00:16:32,706 --> 00:16:34,789
The point is that zoo animals

439
00:16:34,873 --> 00:16:36,914
are filthy, filthy beasts.

440
00:16:36,998 --> 00:16:38,914
There, I've said it,
and you all know it.

441
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,706
So down the chute we went,

442
00:16:40,789 --> 00:16:43,914
replaced by shiny,
clean android doubles.

443
00:16:43,998 --> 00:16:45,164
Whoa, whoa, whoa--robots?

444
00:16:45,248 --> 00:16:47,664
Those things slap
like real animals.

445
00:16:47,748 --> 00:16:48,998
Not robots, Skipper.

446
00:16:49,081 --> 00:16:53,914
Bio-mechanical androids
copied from our own DNA,

447
00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:57,748
courtesy of Frances's
body-scanning massage chairs.

448
00:16:57,831 --> 00:16:59,498
[scanners beeping]

449
00:16:59,581 --> 00:17:02,664
[machine whirring]

450
00:17:07,498 --> 00:17:09,248
[mini vac whirring]

451
00:17:09,331 --> 00:17:11,623
Well, well,
so all this started

452
00:17:11,706 --> 00:17:14,039
because some posh nancy cats

453
00:17:14,123 --> 00:17:16,123
couldn't resist a spin
in the massage-o-matic.

454
00:17:16,206 --> 00:17:17,498
[penguins groaning]

455
00:17:17,581 --> 00:17:19,706
Let that be a lesson to all--
hey!

456
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:20,831
[animals gasp]

457
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:23,748
Couldn't resist a massage,
you say?

458
00:17:23,831 --> 00:17:24,914
Nancy cat.

459
00:17:24,998 --> 00:17:27,498
Come on, it was one neck rub.

460
00:17:27,581 --> 00:17:29,998
Hi! I know Kung-fu.

461
00:17:30,081 --> 00:17:30,998
Hi-ya!

462
00:17:31,081 --> 00:17:34,456
Ahh!

463
00:17:34,539 --> 00:17:35,456
Oof!

464
00:17:35,539 --> 00:17:36,789
[groans]

465
00:17:36,873 --> 00:17:39,373
You're a dirty birdie.

466
00:17:41,289 --> 00:17:44,206
Ha!
And you're a talking toaster.

467
00:17:45,581 --> 00:17:48,331
[grunting]

468
00:17:48,414 --> 00:17:49,664
Tuesday is fudge day.

469
00:17:49,748 --> 00:17:50,623
What?

470
00:17:50,706 --> 00:17:52,998
Oof!

471
00:17:53,081 --> 00:17:54,539
[shouting and punching sounds]

472
00:17:54,623 --> 00:17:56,498
Ow. Oh.

473
00:17:56,581 --> 00:17:58,414
I'm going to have to go
with "not good" for that sound.

474
00:17:58,498 --> 00:17:59,873
No, it--wait!

475
00:17:59,956 --> 00:18:03,206
Sound? We can hear that battle.

476
00:18:03,289 --> 00:18:05,039
Which means--yes!

477
00:18:05,123 --> 00:18:07,206
Skipper's knocked open
an exit hatch.

478
00:18:07,289 --> 00:18:09,539
And how are we supposed
to get up there?

479
00:18:09,623 --> 00:18:13,248
I've got an idea,
but it isn't going to be pretty.

480
00:18:16,414 --> 00:18:18,373
Oof!

481
00:18:18,456 --> 00:18:19,831
[robot clicking]

482
00:18:19,914 --> 00:18:22,831
[dramatic music]

483
00:18:22,914 --> 00:18:26,331
♪ ♪

484
00:18:26,414 --> 00:18:27,414
Ha!

485
00:18:28,998 --> 00:18:29,748
Oh.

486
00:18:29,831 --> 00:18:32,081
[screaming]

487
00:18:32,164 --> 00:18:33,873
[grunting]

488
00:18:33,956 --> 00:18:35,539
Fire in the hole!

489
00:18:35,623 --> 00:18:37,414
Ahh!

490
00:18:37,498 --> 00:18:38,456
Oof!

491
00:18:38,539 --> 00:18:39,873
Savio?

492
00:18:39,956 --> 00:18:42,206
And to sort
the stomach contents...

493
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:45,206
[retches]

494
00:18:46,789 --> 00:18:47,873
Ew.

495
00:18:47,956 --> 00:18:49,039
Love to get a tape of that.

496
00:18:49,123 --> 00:18:49,914
Hi!

497
00:18:49,998 --> 00:18:51,873
I know Kung-fu.

498
00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:55,748
Well, well, where's your
robotic superiority now?

499
00:18:55,831 --> 00:18:57,581
[sinister music]

500
00:18:57,664 --> 00:18:59,914
all: Dirty birdie.

501
00:19:01,498 --> 00:19:02,706
Found it.

502
00:19:02,789 --> 00:19:04,581
Welcome,
Tri-state Press Corps.

503
00:19:04,664 --> 00:19:05,664
Eh?

504
00:19:05,748 --> 00:19:06,998
You all know me,

505
00:19:07,081 --> 00:19:09,373
so let's introduce
this rising star.

506
00:19:09,456 --> 00:19:12,706
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you Frances Alberta.

507
00:19:12,789 --> 00:19:15,456
[applause]

508
00:19:15,539 --> 00:19:17,164
She cleaned up Hoboken,

509
00:19:17,248 --> 00:19:20,414
and now she's gonna clean up Manhattan.

510
00:19:20,498 --> 00:19:21,414
Manhattan?

511
00:19:21,498 --> 00:19:22,789
The Central Park Zoo!

512
00:19:22,873 --> 00:19:25,789
[sinister music]

513
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:29,289
♪ ♪

514
00:19:29,373 --> 00:19:32,123
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

515
00:19:32,206 --> 00:19:33,706
Eh,
I could live with that one.

516
00:19:33,789 --> 00:19:35,206
We have to stop Frances.

517
00:19:35,289 --> 00:19:37,081
[robotic voice]
Frances in danger.

518
00:19:37,164 --> 00:19:39,206
Must destroy animals.

519
00:19:39,289 --> 00:19:41,706
Why did we start talking
like robots?

520
00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:42,706
I don't know.

521
00:19:42,789 --> 00:19:43,873
[shouting]

522
00:19:43,956 --> 00:19:45,706
Hold the line, boys.

523
00:19:45,789 --> 00:19:48,081
I got to bust up
a press conference.

524
00:19:48,164 --> 00:19:48,914
Hi-ya!

525
00:19:48,998 --> 00:19:51,748
- Hi-ya!
- Ho-ha!

526
00:19:51,831 --> 00:19:55,206
Now, as commissioner, this
handshake is a legal contract.

527
00:19:55,289 --> 00:19:58,206
So let's limber up Mr. Righty
and make it official, hmm?

528
00:19:58,289 --> 00:19:59,123
[knuckles crack]

529
00:19:59,206 --> 00:20:02,373
Must stop handshake--

530
00:20:02,456 --> 00:20:03,956
Uh!

531
00:20:04,039 --> 00:20:07,164
Oh, curse your robotic
super strength

532
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,164
and ruggedly handsome looks.

533
00:20:09,248 --> 00:20:10,623
It's time to take out
the garbage.

534
00:20:10,706 --> 00:20:11,706
Uh!

535
00:20:11,789 --> 00:20:12,998
[electricity crackling]

536
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,789
Oh,
your face makes a new years.

537
00:20:14,873 --> 00:20:16,123
Ring-tail!

538
00:20:16,206 --> 00:20:17,831
I never thought I'd be glad
to see you.

539
00:20:17,914 --> 00:20:19,456
Uh-da-da.

540
00:20:19,539 --> 00:20:22,789
Do not be thinking you can
make sweet-talking excuses

541
00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:25,539
for this TV remote
fiasc-a-tastrophy.

542
00:20:25,623 --> 00:20:28,414
The remote? I keep it on
the shelf next to the radio.

543
00:20:28,498 --> 00:20:30,039
Okay. Good to know.

544
00:20:33,039 --> 00:20:34,873
[electricity crackling]

545
00:20:34,956 --> 00:20:37,123
Aw, crud. Ah!

546
00:20:37,206 --> 00:20:40,789
Handshake-a-coming.
Here we go.

547
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,623
Ahh! Oof!

548
00:20:42,706 --> 00:20:44,664
Now this is all your fault,

549
00:20:44,748 --> 00:20:47,123
Lousy massage... chairs.

550
00:20:47,206 --> 00:20:49,831
Oh, my,
would you look at this mess?

551
00:20:49,914 --> 00:20:52,998
Zookeeper Frances
won't like this one bit.

552
00:20:53,081 --> 00:20:56,414
Brother, this mess
is just getting started.

553
00:20:56,498 --> 00:20:57,456
Hi-ya!

554
00:20:57,539 --> 00:21:00,456
[triumphant music]

555
00:21:00,539 --> 00:21:04,831
♪ ♪

556
00:21:04,914 --> 00:21:06,331
[massage chair whirring]

557
00:21:06,414 --> 00:21:10,039
[stuttering]

558
00:21:10,123 --> 00:21:15,956
So-o-o-o-o relaxing.

559
00:21:16,039 --> 00:21:17,248
[nuts and bolts pinging]

560
00:21:17,331 --> 00:21:19,123
[explosion]

561
00:21:19,206 --> 00:21:22,039
Panther grab, panther grab.
And... ready.

562
00:21:22,123 --> 00:21:23,914
Anything you'd like to say,
Frances?

563
00:21:23,998 --> 00:21:26,039
Just what a thrill
it's going to be

564
00:21:26,123 --> 00:21:28,539
to take care
of all of Central Park's--

565
00:21:28,623 --> 00:21:31,248
Ahh!

566
00:21:31,331 --> 00:21:32,373
Hi!

567
00:21:32,456 --> 00:21:34,206
I know Kung-fu!

568
00:21:34,289 --> 00:21:36,789
Bio-mechanical
android duplicates?

569
00:21:36,873 --> 00:21:41,248
[animals shouting]

570
00:21:41,331 --> 00:21:42,456
Dirty...

571
00:21:42,539 --> 00:21:43,748
filthy...

572
00:21:43,831 --> 00:21:45,706
animals!

573
00:21:45,789 --> 00:21:47,414
[screaming]

574
00:21:47,498 --> 00:21:50,456
[people shrieking]

575
00:21:52,789 --> 00:21:55,206
[grunting]

576
00:21:55,289 --> 00:21:56,289
Hi-ya!

577
00:21:56,373 --> 00:21:57,498
[loud thud]

578
00:21:57,581 --> 00:21:59,748
[furious slapping]

579
00:21:59,831 --> 00:22:01,998
No more messies!

580
00:22:02,081 --> 00:22:04,039
Gah! Eee! Oh!

581
00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:06,706
[crazily]
♪ Happy, happy Hoboken ♪

582
00:22:06,789 --> 00:22:08,623
Oh, eat dirt.

583
00:22:08,706 --> 00:22:10,748
Oof!

584
00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:12,956
[coughing]

585
00:22:13,039 --> 00:22:15,831
You are so fired.

586
00:22:15,914 --> 00:22:20,581
[wailing]

587
00:22:20,664 --> 00:22:22,414
Deadly robot doppelgangers,

588
00:22:22,498 --> 00:22:26,081
a perky, evil mastermind,
and a zoo in crisis.

589
00:22:26,164 --> 00:22:28,373
Boys, now, that's a vacation.

590
00:22:28,456 --> 00:22:29,414
Up high!

591
00:22:29,498 --> 00:22:30,414
[flippers slapping]

592
00:22:30,498 --> 00:22:31,414
all: Hah!

593
00:22:32,498 --> 00:22:34,081
Rah!

594
00:22:34,164 --> 00:22:35,748
[people shrieking]

595
00:22:35,831 --> 00:22:36,706
[exhales tiredly]

596
00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:37,914
Boring!

597
00:22:37,998 --> 00:22:39,123
What else is on?

598
00:22:39,206 --> 00:22:40,373
[polka music]

599
00:22:40,456 --> 00:22:42,414
[shrieks]
The Lederhosen!

600
00:22:42,498 --> 00:22:45,289
It is like poison
for my eye stomachs.

601
00:22:45,373 --> 00:22:47,206
Ahh!

602
00:22:48,748 --> 00:22:51,664
[enigmatic music]

603
00:22:51,748 --> 00:22:58,664
♪ ♪