[bell tolls]
[brassy detective music]
♪ ♪
- Hit it. - ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪
- ♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪ - Yeah.
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
Cute and cuddly, boys.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[tense music]
That was incredible, Skipper.
I've never seen omega boom performed by a single penguin.
You were amazing!
Always remember, Young Private,
it's the leader's job
to be physically superior at all times.
- Ha! - Guys, check out my new--
I'm fine.
It's a nonbrain injury.
[gasps] Smashed atoms!
- [gasps] - [gasps]
Kowalski, explain.
Fascinating.
The ray I built was designed to transform spoiled food
to its younger, fresher state.
- And? - Clearly, you are younger.
[sniffs] And fresher.
This can't stand.
My body should be full grown
and bursting with unapologetic warrior might.
Hiya! Ha! Hoo! Ha! Oof!
[all cooing]
Halt baby babble.
I'm sorry, Skipper. You're just so cute.
Coochie, coochie, coochie, coo!
I can invert the ray's polarity
and return you to normal.
But we'll need to retrieve it from the sewer.
Sounds easy enough.
Men, operation sewer scavenge is a go.
Move out.
[grunting]
- Something wrong? - Uh, it's just...
The mission is dangerous,
and you're so small and fluffy.
Small, fluffy, and your commanding officer, Private.
Right, Skipper.
But maybe we should, you know,
get you a sitter.
Skipper?
Down here.
Oh.
Apologies, Skipper, it just feels so right.
It's oddly agreeable.
But enough malarky.
I do not need a babysitter.
I'm a trained solider.
[yawning] A lethal... fighting... machine.
Somebody needs his nappy time.
Aw, nappy.
Nonsense.
I am fully... battle-ready.
We need a sitter with a high tolerance for weird.
[gasps]
Ah, those feets!
That tiny booty!
Oh, he's the most cutest thing my eyes have ever seen...
when I'm not staring into a reflective surface.
Here.
Yes, he's our cousin.
His name is, uh--
Is it Petey?
I've always wanted to meet a Petey,
and I would like very much for today to be that day.
I can be Petey.
As it turns out, his name is Petey.
Your Majesty, what do you know about babysitting?
What? Pfft! I am an accomplished sitter.
I sit on things all the time:
my throne, my loungey chair,
- my Mort. - I'm ergonomical.
Mort, didn't he kick-- and weren't you--
forget it. I'm on break.
FYI, he likes to pretend he is Skipper
when he's conscious.
Oh, Petey, you nut.
Make sure you keep him warm.
And feed him regularly.
And he likes-- he likes to be rocked too.
Call us if you need anything!
- Ah! - What the deuce?
- Where are my men? - Good morning, Petey.
You are being babysat-on by me, the king.
Ringtail, don't you recognize me?
It's Skipper.
I'm--what are you doing?
Where did King Julien go?
Oh, no, he has disap--peekaboo.
Peekaboo! Peekaboo!
Peekaboo.
Peekaboo!
Your childish ruse is wasted, Ringtail.
I'm an elite--
where'd he go?
- Peekaboo! - [screams] What the--
[laughs]
You should have been seeing your face.
You were stupefied by my mad booing skills.
Note to self: peekaboo defense drills.
[beeping]
Homing device says the ray is...
this way.
I wonder how the babysitter's doing.
Shhhhh!
The royal airplane is--shhhh-- now coming in
for a land-shhhh-ding.
Call a mayday, 'cause you've got the wrong tarmac.
Penguins eat fish.
Silly me, I see what is the wrong here.
- Finally. - The baby penguins
only eat the food when the papa penguin
chews it up and spits it into the baby's mouth.
Yeah, it sounds gross, but, hey, who am I to judge?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Good, huh? - No!
- Now, don't be bashful. - Ugh!
There you go.
Ringtail, you're really starting to get on my ner--
[farts] That was an accident.
But I'm glad it happened.
Ooh, the baby gas.
Ugh, it is the most smelliest thing
my nose has ever sniffed.
Mort, breathe it away.
Okay. [inhales]
I like--
uh, no, I don't.
[gasps]
Petey, what did I tell you?
Now, you cannot be running away.
According to my readings,
the ray gun should be located right--
With us.
That's our ray beam gun thingy.
No, it's our Fresherizer.
As long as we have this baby,
we'll never eat rotten sewer food again.
Good golly, it works like a charm!
I mean, give it back, dirty rats.
- Skipper's counting on us. - Yeah.
Objective secured.
Let's return to--huh?
No one steals our Freshinator.
I thought we named it "Fresherizer."
We had a meeting. You weren't there.
Um, Kowalski? Options?
Historically, Skipper's the one
who defeats the Rat King.
Therefore, run for your lives!
[screams]
Rico, rat cannon.
Fortunately, I devised an anti-rat missile
for this exact--
Bye-bye, birdies.
[cackles]
Petey!
It is being your afternoon nappy time.
You're not the boss of me.
Ah, but my regal lullaby
will give you the snoozies for sure.
Well, we'll see who outlasts who.
[clears throat] ♪ Rock-a-bye, Petey ♪
♪ In the Julien top ♪
♪ When the wind blows ♪
♪ The Julien will rock ♪
[yawning] ♪ And down will come Julien ♪
♪ Julien and... ♪
♪ Julien ♪
Well, that only took ten seconds.
At least these tiny flippers are good for something.
[grunts]
It's not right.
All those years of training and experience,
and now I'm a useless soldier!
[crying] It's not right.
It's not right!
[explosion]
Rocket fire!
No time for crybaby self-pity.
My team needs me.
[yawns]
Petey? He is missing from my sight!
And he is leaking melon!
Ah! Your king is coming, Petey!
What do you say, fellas?
Time to give 'em the toxic bird bath?
- Bird bath! - Bird bath!
Bird bath!
It appears this is our rookery's final mission.
As Skipper would say, "It's been an honor."
[sobbing]
Don't forget to scrub behind your ears.
[laughs]
You call that a victory taunt?
Skipper!
Fear not, Private;
your leader has arrived.
Skipper?
Wait, the boss penguin?
What happened, fluffy boy? You fall in the dryer?
[laughter]
Let's put baby to bed...
permanently.
Petey!
Oh, dear!
[dramatically] Go, Petey.
[shudders]
Avenge me while I lay here
and pretend to be dead so no one is hurting me again.
[groans]
[imitates horn playing "Taps"]
[shudders]
[imitates horn playing "Taps"]
[moaning]
[imitates horn playing "Taps"]
I see a light.
It's a light.
[imitates horn playing "Taps"]
I'm coming, Papa.
[imitates horn playing "Taps"]
Let's finish this, mano a baby-o.
Oh, yeah?
What are you going to do with those teeny weeny baby muscles?
Rat face, I've got something stronger than muscles:
my leadership. Rico, grappling hook!
I'll crush you all!
Quick, toss me.
Catch me.
Burp me.
[burps] Throw me!
Spin me.
Ha! Did you really think
I wouldn't catch a tiny ball like you?
I was counting on it.
- [farts] - [groans]
I call that one "the baby boom."
Now, that's a victory taunt.
And this is nap time.
[snoring]
all: Aww.
[whirring]
They grow up so fast.
[sighs] I am now having the empty nest.
Ringtail, I owe you one.
You saved my fluffy butt back there.
But I hope you now realize who I really am.
[laughs] I cannot be believing it!
I knew you'd see the light.
Petey!
You have gotten so good at your Skipper impersonating.
[tribal music]
♪ ♪
It's the breakout that led to a stakeout
because there's a snake out.
Savio, the Hoboken Zoo's vicious boa constrictor,
has escaped.
Wait, why do I feel I know that reptile?
Ah! Snake belly! So dark.
Don't put me in the monkey suit.
[thud]
Ooh. [laughs]
Savio, the fiendish serpent
who temporarily ate Private, the lemurs, and Marlene.
Right. I hated that guy.
We go live to Bonnie Chang on the scene.
Trash fires, riots in the streets--
this snake escape really has everyone on edge, eh, Bonnie?
[laughs] No, Chuck, that's just Hoboken.
Back off, pal-io!
I'm packing a pipe wrench!
The boa was last seen entering the Hudson River,
where it appeared to be swimming toward Manhattan.
You don't think Savio's still mad
we had him shipped back to Hoboken?
As every herpetologist knows, Chuck,
this breed of boa
has an insatiable thirst for vengeance,
nursing a grudge for months
before wreaking its hideous retribution.
[all mumbling and crying]
Move out, you Nancy cats.
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You think Savio's coming after us?
But that's crazy.
Most of us were his victims.
Don't try and make sense of revenge, Marlene.
It cheapens it.
[stammering] What do we do?
Wait, I've got an idea.
A sandwich...
that you ride like a horse.
But think about it.
According to my projections,
Savio will hit this zoo in three hours.
Luckily, that vengeful maniac is forgetting one thing:
we've still got big gray on our side.
Ready for another Savio pounding, long trunks?
You bet,
just as soon as I open
this mysterious package
I got from Hoboken.
Oh, it's Ho--not Hoboken!
- Don't open that! - No, don't open it!
Um, Savio sends his regards.
A-booga-booga-booga!
[yelling]
Taking out the biggest threat first.
Well played, Savio.
Well, clearly, he is a vengeful genius,
and we are all doomed.
[all screaming]
I am panicking!
Whoa, girl! Easy, little tuna melt.
Ow!
Sorry, people,
but when no one listens to reason,
I'm forced to speak the language of flung nuts.
This one said hello to my nose hole.
We can still take Savio
but only as a united front.
Nobody cracks. No one does anything stupid.
What are you all so scaredy pantsless about this?
I say we take this Savio
and then we punch him in the face!
So as usual, ignore everything the Ringtail says--
did I hear some gung ho in that gobbledygook?
If by "gung ho," you mean
I'm gonna hold up this Savio
and smack him around like--uh.
Oh, yeah, baby. That's--yeah.
You're seriously not scared?
Are we still talking about Savio?
Yeah, big deal.
Long booty,
fancy continental accent he thinks is so classy.
Pah! Bring him on to me.
Bring him!
[rousing music]
Ain't so bad. Ain't so bad.
Ain't gonna be no rematch.
Come on.
All right, give me two-man teams.
Establish perimeter defenses.
I want this zoo wired hotter than a Brazilian Hanukkah.
Go!
Now, I'll need a cool, fearless head
as my own bunker buddy.
Ringtail, I can't believe I'm gonna say this,
but that guy is you.
[triumphant musical flourish]
- Partner hug. - Oh, no.
All right, Ringtail.
I'm thinking a three-layer defense grid.
Level one: the minefield.
[humming]
Okay, what's next?
Well, we take the clear path through the minefield
- to the others, and then... - What?
Level two: electrified fence.
- [zapping and popping] - Not my fault.
Level three: motor tubes
loaded with pure knockout spray,
the "coupe de gras."
No, no, no, no, no.
[humming]
What do you say, soldier?
I say...
Hey, Savio, who's gonna save you from that?
Ooh, taunting approved.
I don't know where this 180 of courage came from, Ringtail,
but I'm digging it.
[laughs] Yeah, yeah, I was pretty awesome just now.
[alarm beeping]
All right, men and Marlene.
Some of you, I know, are wondering
whether or not you'll chicken out under fire.
Don't worry about it.
When you put your hand into a bunch of goo
that used to be your best friend's face
but then you realize,
"Wait, that's just an ice cream sandwich
shaped like a clown--" [chuckles]
you'll know what to do!
I like old Julien.
Who wanted to kick you to the snake
just to give himself time to run?
Any foot touching is good foot touching.
- [explosions and rumbling] - He's hit the mines.
Forward positions.
No visual yet, but-- [gasps]
He's cleared the mine field.
I lost him, Skipper.
Fall back, Private.
Shock unit, talk to me.
Electrified fence still operative, Skipp--
He's in the walls. He's in the walls!
Fall back! Gassy-lassie, you're up.
Okay, I did not agree to that code name.
- I-- - [hissing]
[jabbering]
Is he out?
- [gasps] - [hissing]
- Hiss! - [screams]
[all screaming]
All units, doomsday position!
Move it, Ringtail!
Aye, Skip-king!
Shields up.
We drilled for this, people.
Just maintain the circle.
Remember, this Savio is nothing.
- He is-- - [hissing]
Hello.
- [all scream] - Snake!
Savio is the snake?
I thought it was that guy.
You know, big teeth, long booty.
I'm my own kind of beautiful.
Oh, shut up with the fancy continental accent already!
You aren't impressing anybody!
Aw, shields, how adorable.
I could just eat you up.
Stand fast.
As long as there are no gaps in the circle--
Gotta go not be eaten. Love you, bye!
Aw, ham steak.
[all yell]
[all groaning]
Since when does the inside of a snake belly
look like the garage?
Do not worry, succulent one.
Soon you will all be consumed...
with admiration
when I tell you of my plan for revenge.
I'm going to swallow you one by one
so the last shall see his friends go before him.
Ew.
And then I will regurgitate and swallow you again
but this time in reverse order so no one feels left out
of the "watch everybody else get eaten" thing.
Well, uh, you know, way to make it your own.
I like to take the time to chew...
on my ideas.
But we're still one lemur short of a full revenge set,
and so, until I return...
ciao.
That was also a reference to the fact
that I'm going to eat you.
We got it.
Fantastic.
[clears throat] Eh, hello.
Ringtail?
Quick, I think I can guide you to pick this lock.
Now, it's a wafer tumbler model
with at least seven variable spring-loaded--
Yeah, that sounds hard.
Uh, I'm here for more of the last request sort of thing.
So okay, I got the banjo.
And if you feel snacky,
there's some day-old poppity corn over there.
Do you know "Ave Maria?"
[scoffs] Boring!
This one is way better.
Check it out, y'all.
♪ I'm a sandwich-riding cowpoke, and-- ♪
I knew you had your flaws, Ringtail,
but even at your worst moments,
I never pegged you for a yellow-bellied, slimy coward.
Okay, wow.
Uh, that stings.
It's like you never really knew me.
Anyhoo, peace out, my peoples.
Ah, the complete buffet.
Ah! It's the snake!
[all yelling]
No, not that way.
Stand tall, Ringtail.
You've got to decide what kind of man you're gonna be.
Still the yellow-bellied slime guy.
At least he's going out the way he lived:
stupid.
Ha ha!
Artificial butter flavor.
How tasteful of you.
Okay.
Bye-bye!
Boys, butter me up.
Your leadership is impeccable
and your musk is an intoxicating blend
of danger and--ooh!
Right.
Whee-hee-hee!
Greasy, greasy.
[laughing]
Julien! You did it!
I cannot accept your thank-yous,
'cause they are cheap and useless.
Give me something shiny, people.
Men, return to base for cleanup.
We've got grease where no grease should ever go.
And so snakeout ends, as these things always do,
with the snake headed home
coated in buttery, hydrogenated soy oil.
I can't believe yellow-bellied slimy cowardice
was really the answer.
No, no, this was a team victory.
There was me, the butter, uh, me wearing the butter,
you know, probably the elephant or something.
The elephant!
This is Chuck Charles saying--
Go time!
Come on, where's that snake?
I want Savio!
- [trumpeting] - [screams]
♪ ♪