[bell tolls]
[brassy dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Hit it. - ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪
- ♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪ - Yeah.
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
[brassy dramatic music]
[camera shutter clicks]
Cute and cuddly, boys.
[whimsical music]
♪ ♪
[kids giggling]
Here for your tour? Fine.
Pay attention and keep up.
I talk fast and I walk faster.
This is an elephant.
This is...
an otter.
Potty break.
Moving on.
[cart whirring]
This is...
Excuse me, sir. You dropped this.
Oh, oh, why, thank you, young man.
You know, you could have totally kept that dollar.
But returning that dollar was my good deed for the day.
Good deed for the day?
Oh, yes, ma'am. [clears throat]
Let nothing keep you away
from doing a good deed each and every day.
[scoffs] Whatever peels your bananas.
Come on, we want to hit the rhino
before he digests breakfast.
Now, that's the way to do it.
Yeah, you don't want to catch Roy
with a fuming tailpipe.
Oh, you're talking about the good deed.
But Skipper, don't we already do good
- and right wrongs and such? - Frequently.
- Oh, yeah. - Yes, these uniformed
child operatives do it each and every day.
Gentlemen, we have a good deed gap.
[baby spits]
[baby cooing]
[retching] [bangs]
- [line zipping] - Whoops.
[groans]
[slurping] [aluminum clanging]
- [smacking sounds] - [grunts] [whimpers]
Well, that was frustrating.
Skipper, maybe one of our fellow zoo animals
would appreciate a good deed.
[humming]
Marlene, we need you!
Whoa! Oh! Oh!
[groans]
You guys really need to learn to knock.
No time for niceties, sister.
This is an urgent matter.
We need to do our good deed for the day.
Oh, well, sure, no, that is urgent.
You're telling me.
We need to do it sometime in the next eight hours.
[grunts unintelligibly]
Well, you could clean up this mess
that you kind of made.
Well, don't think twice about it, Marlene.
We are good deed to go.
[leaves squishing]
[retches]
Oh!
[retches]
Leaf cleaning accomplished, ma'am.
Okay. Not bad, guys.
Team do-gooders, we have achieved
good-deed-doing for the day.
And with seven hours, six minutes left.
Whoo! Whoo!
Ow!
[grunting]
Who the devil whacked me with a bucket of wet leaves?
Oops.
It appears to be a back injury?
I know it's a back injury, Phil!
Fear not, Mason.
Allow me to introduce my crank-a-tronic
spinal straightener.
That looks suspiciously like a medieval torture device.
Sometimes we have to look backwards
to move forward.
Ah, so it is a medieval torture device.
Pretty much.
[groaning]
Oh, yeah.
No, I am not getting into that, ever.
But if you don't, this bad deed
will cancel out our good deed for the day,
and then our good deed record will be permanently soiled.
Well, I fail to see how that is my problem.
Men, the situation is dire.
We've got to fix that simian's sorry spine.
You ever hear the words coming out of your own mouth
and think, "What's that guy talking about?"
Oh, yes! Mm!
Yeah, that is the stuff!
- [grunting] - Okay, good.
Turn to the shoulder blade.
Yeah, good.
Get up in there.
Oh, yeah, it's working.
Bingo.
Yeah, sure, I can help Mason.
Mm, no.
You want my right hand man's right and left hands,
then I'll need something in return.
Well, we're doing a good deed.
Maybe you could do one as well.
[laughs hysterically]
Did you hear?
Did you hear what he just said?
Oh, you're serious.
Well, yeah.
[laughs]
I mean, you think?
It's so...
[laughing]
Okay, I'm through now.
[laughs]
No, I'm not.
[laughing]
[wheezing]
Knock it off and name a price, Ringtail.
Okay.
Hm.
[giggling]
Good deed.
Ringtail.
I should like a pink feather
from the flamingo's booty.
Yes, a pinky booty feather
will add that touch of elegance.
Nuh-uh, baby.
Nobody's plucking my tail feathers.
What if we give you something in return?
Ooh, mm, well, I could go for some peanuts.
[chomping]
Oh, yeah.
I got lots of peanuts.
You can have some if you score me some extra hay.
Hay, eh? Hmm.
Yeah, I got some.
But if you want it, you got to do me favor.
We prefer the term "good deed."
So what do you need, odd-toed ungulate?
[splat]
[groans]
Guess.
Stop throwing our banana peels
over the wall over there?
Hey, this we can do.
Yeah, for a price.
- How did I know? - All I'm saying is,
we could do with a nice pizza pie.
Extra pepperoni.
Capish?
Yes, and we also understand.
Hey, you got it. One pizza, extra pepperoni.
Be there 30 minutes or your pizza's free.
Gra-zie.
Suit up, boys.
Maybe finally we could put this good deed to bed.
Thank you.
Thanks. Got to run.
If these pizzas are late,
the boss will have my--hey.
Ever heard of a tip?
Penguins?
He's seen too much.
Hi-ya!
- Smack! - Ow.
Here's your tip delivery, human.
Know when to walk away, know when to run.
[grunting]
By receiving this pizza,
you agree to the previously negotiated terms,
namely that you will stop throwing banana peels
into Roy's habitat.
Of course. What do you take us for?
A couple of mooks? [chuckles]
Banana-peel-free and loving it.
[chuckles]
Pleasure doing business with you.
[smack]
Mm-mm.
I do love me some peanuts.
[grunting]
Whoa!
Mm.
Yes. I like it.
[knuckles cracking]
[groaning] [punching sounds]
By Jove, man, you did it.
Your hands are miraculous.
Ha-ha-ha! I'm a new chimp.
Heh-heh, glad I could help.
All right, now we can put
our good-deed-doing to bed.
Uh-huh.
Boys, it's time to crack open
a cool, frosty high five.
[smacking sounds]
- Ooh! - Whoa!
Sorry about that.
What gives, Private?
Called for high-fiving.
Get your head out of the clouds.
Sorry, Skipper.
I just keep thinking about the pizza delivery boy.
Oh, no worries there, Private.
By the time he comes to, he won't remember what hit him.
No, no, Skipper.
He's got a truck full of pizzas waiting to be delivered.
Wow.
All those metro area families going hungry,
and it's our fault.
Those numerous bad deeds
will far outweigh today's one good deed.
[phone ringing]
Hey, bobby, you making those deliveries or what?
- Uh... - I told you you got 30 minutes
or it's your job, and that was 22 minutes ago.
Uh, okay.
All right, boys, hang onto your pepperonis.
We've got a pizza run to make.
[tires squealing]
[clang]
Look, I don't need to continue my sessions, doc.
'Cause I realize there's no way
an elephant and a bunch of penguins ever came
to my apartment to return a kazoo I lost as a kid.
I mean, that's-- that's crazy talk.
Finally, my pizza.
Keep the change.
Gratuity. Nice.
Actually, doc, forget what I said.
I'll--I'll see you Thursday.
[doorbell buzzes]
[doorbell rings]
[bells buzzing and dinging]
Thanks.
Last delivery.
What was the last address again?
410 52nd street.
I see a 408 and a 416 but no 410.
Wait, was that East 52nd or West?
I'm not sure.
I suppose that little squiggle might be a "W."
Cross-town.
Rico, take the wheel.
All right.
[tires squeal and horn honks]
[giggling]
Good deed.
[laughing hysterically]
[tires squealing rhythmically]
Rico, look out!
You're not supposed to--
[whimpers]
[wheels clattering]
[thumping]
[people shouting]
[bang]
[tires squealing]
[crashing]
[engine revving]
[all shouting]
[grunting maniacally]
[garbage cans clanging]
[tires squeal]
Ah!
[grunting]
[tires squealing and crashing]
[engine revving]
[dog barking]
[clang]
[whistles]
Hey, learn how to drive, buddy.
Thanks to Rico's complete disregard
for the rules of the road, we got here in record time.
Still, we only have 20 seconds
to get this pizza delivered to the seventh floor.
We'll never make it.
"Never" is not in my vocabulary,
neither is "cutlets."
For different reasons.
Rico.
[retches]
A little lower.
A scosche.
And fire.
A few more seconds
and our pizza is free.
- Five... - Four...
three, two...
[splat]
[tires squealing]
There you are.
My bestest driver.
- Huh? What? - You're the only driver
who got all the pizzas delivered in time.
Today you are no longer a delivery boy.
You are a delivery man.
Mwah. Mwah.
Really? Oh, that--sweet.
Well, how about that?
A good deed, pure and clean.
[sirens blaring]
[metal creaking]
[crash]
[giggling]
Hey, Maurice, wake up.
You know what I was just thinking?
In my brain?
Do tell.
[laughs]
That time the penguins wanted me to do a good deed.
What were they thinking?
[laughs maniacally]
It's so funny.
Join with me.
It's funny, Maur-- come on, it's a little funny.
[sighs]
[whimsical music]
♪ ♪
I! [clank]
Want! [clank]
Cheezy bits! Ah!
[whimpering wildly]
[machine clanging]
Mort, what are you doing?
I want... [groaning]
Cheezy bits.
That's not how you get snacks out.
First, we need to find some money.
You'd be surprised how much loose change
ends up under these things.
Hey, this ought to do the trick.
Yay!
Yah!
Ah!
[groaning]
I got cheezy bits.
Yay.
[grunting]
I can't get the door open.
Okay, not getting out that way.
Still, there must be some way out of this stuffy box.
One, two, three.
Ooh!
Oh.
[munching]
[spits]
I do not like cheezy bits.
Marvelous, Mort.
- [clang] - Who put a pretty pink
floral arrangement in there?
Private, I'm looking at you.
Or I would be if you were here.
Where's young Private?
Hmm, 0800 hours,
he should be watching the Lunacorns.
[whimsical music]
Weird.
Men, something smells fishy here.
- [sniffs] - I mean, beyond
the ever-present fishy smell of our home.
[screaming]
This mango is rotten.
Oh, I'm so angry.
I need to be kicking something.
Mort, assume the position.
Hey, where is he?
Not where he usually is.
The lemurs are missing key personnel too?
Hmm. [mumbles unintelligibly]
We'll canvass the zoo in a counter clockwise
concentric circle pattern.
Now, the advantages of this search--
Boring.
Let's move out.
Ringtail, I said move out.
Shh. Look.
Prince shares-a-lot forgot
Princess self-respectra's birthday?
And she is devastated. Look at her.
You want devastation, Ringtail?
I'll give you devastation.
Uh, Skipper, maybe it's best we leave him watching the tube.
I mean, the king's helping usually isn't that helpful.
Know what I mean?
[squeaking]
[grunting]
There.
Yay, you did it.
Ha-ha. What did you do?
Because of the narrow and woefully confining space,
I can't get enough force to knock the glass out.
But this tightly coiled spring just might.
So when I untie the licorice vines, it'll...
[creaking]
Ooh! Ow!
Oopsie.
I eated the vine.
So I noticed.
[crashing]
[whimpers]
Rico, a fellow soldier is MIA,
and you want to stop for munchies?
Um, nuh-uh?
Right, now, stay frosty, men.
Private and Sad Eyes could be anywhere.
My birthday wish is,
I wish I'd never had a birthday.
[gasps] No.
The Lunacorns will return after these important messages.
Oh, man--oh.
These messages are important?
Then I will pay extra attention.
Hey, hey, kids.
Professor Quimby Q. Qutiepie here.
I'm coming to your area to reveal
my brand new collection of Qutiepie cuties.
Oh! That is Mort and the silly penguin.
They are petrified with fear.
Better hurry because these limited edition animals
won't last long.
- No. - Yes.
Soon they'll be locked away in the professor's vault
- forever. - [squeaks]
Meet the Professor this afternoon
at 8686 Battery Place.
8686 Battery Place.
Private, oh, Private.
We've got winkies.
Forget it.
This Private bait just isn't cutting the mustard.
Uh, so can I toss these away then?
They're kind of creeping me out.
[munching]
8686 Battery Place.
I know where they are.
They've been taken by an evil professor.
And he said they won't last long.
[whimpers]
He's gonna lock them in the vault forever.
And you know all this how?
You were watching the Lunacorns when we left.
8686 Battery--yes.
And it was very good too.
But then they interrupted the show
with a very important message.
- Breaking news? - Yes, very broken.
Fortunately, the TV box said where to find this ring,
and it is...
8686 Battery Place!
That sicko's got a whole place for battering?
And he calls himself an academic.
- [clunking] - I've got to get out of here.
[smack] Get a grip, Private.
Going crackers won't solve anything.
[breathing heavily]
Okay, think.
What would Skipper do in this situation?
He'd ask for options.
So what would Kowalski say?
Probably something I wouldn't understand anyway.
[laughs] Of course Rico would just want to blow it up.
[gasps] Yes, that's it!
Oh!
It starts with these winter fresh mints.
You see, they spark when you chew them.
The sparks will ignite these flaming hots,
which will act like a fuse and burn
to these very combustible sugary sticks,
and hopefully they will blow with enough bang
to knock this window out while we're safely hidden
behind a packet of crisps.
Pretty smashing plan, eh, Mort?
No!
[electrical zapping]
[whimpering]
[boom]
[squeaking]
My mouth got all sparkly.
[gasps]
It smells like seafood up--ooh.
What are you looking at, buddy?
[exhaling forcefully]
[squeaking]
Hi, face.
My name is Mort.
What's yours?
[slurping sound]
That's a funny name.
[slurping]
Oh, that's not you, is it, you silly face?
[slurping]
What are you licking?
Well, Mort, I've fashioned
these hard candies into a wrench,
and now I'm going to use it to open the back of this machine
- so we can escape. - Oh, boy, can I help?
- Can I? - No, Mort, you cannot.
In fact, don't touch anything at all.
Every time you touch something, it goes all wrong
and I wind up trapped in here for another hour and--
is it me, or is the oxygen getting thin in here?
That sounded just like the bossy penguin.
Ooh, now do the throw-upy one.
[groaning]
No, that's still the bossy one.
Keep up the good work.
[engine revs]
[clunk]
[thump]
According to my calculations,
this is the evil professor's back entrance.
I believe we can enter through that ventilation grate.
We are so excited for this event.
We'll get you out in front of the kids in just a few moments.
Okay, Quimby.
It's showtime.
Okay, Rico, it's showtime.
[retches]
[flames whooshing]
[clang]
[grunts]
What was that? Oh.
Where is lemur?
Where is penguin?
[sniveling]
What is this?
[retches] Ha!
So kids, without further ado,
meet professor Quimby Q. Qutiepie
and his quties.
Thank you. Ha-ha.
I'll be along in a moment.
[kids cheering]
Bah! Bah! Bah!
Uh, Kowalski, shouldn't a mad scientist's lair
have more instruments of death and less adorable children?
One would think.
Uh, guys, what's with all the plush?
I don't know. Beats me.
Boys, I think we've been the opposite of right.
Hmm, I wonder how that could happen.
Where is my Mort?
Tell me. I shall insult you
with a withering put-down,
probably something about your sense of fashion.
I don't know. It'll come to me.
Why are we fleeing?
Okay, Mort, we have enough food to last us several days.
Surely Skipper will find us by then, right?
[sniffs] Mm.
My finger smells funny. [giggles]
You want to smell it?
No.
I'll conserve energy and sleep.
You should do the same.
Nighty night.
[loud belching]
Uh? What? What was that?
Oh, my tummy no feel so good.
Mort, what happened?
Where's the food?
Eh, I got hungry.
So you ate everything?
Well, even the cheezy bits?
They're not so bad after the fifth bag.
[screams]
Do you realize what you've done, Mort?
We needed that food.
You've doomed us both.
Doomed?
Yes, doomed, doomed, doomed
because you're dumb, dumb, dumb.
[whimpers]
Oh, don't you dare cry.
Because the only thing worse than being trapped with you
for the rest of my life
is being trapped for the rest of my life
with you crying!
The vending machine is empty again?
Ah, better restock.
Huh?
[cart beeping]
[thump]
Shh.
[panting]
Oh.
I can breathe again.
[breathes deeply]
Mort, you did it.
Eating all that food actually saved our lives.
I'm sorry I got cross with you.
And I'm sorry I eated all the food.
But, Mort, don't you see?
It was a good thing that you ate the food.
But you told me not to.
No, I know I did,
but it was good that you did anyway
because it saved us.
Don't you understand?
[farting noise]
I have to go potty.
They could be anywhere by now.
We'll never see Mort again.
Oh, Private.
[sobbing]
I will not have this unit going soft.
Private was a first class soldier,
but I don't expect to miss him anymore
than I miss Manfredi or Johnson or...
Private?
You're alive!
[sobbing maniacally]
Don't scare me like that ever again.
You hear me?
It's good to see you too, Skipper.
Mort, you are alive.
Oh, bring it in.
[laughs]
Oh, I am feeling such a happiness
that I don't even want to kick you.
Really?
Yes, but tomorrow, look out,
'cause I got a booty
with your booty's name all over it.
- You know what I'm saying? - Hooray.
King Julian's going to write my name on his foot.
- [grumbles] - Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.