[bell tolls]
[brassy detective music]
♪ ♪
- Hit it. - ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪
- ♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪ - Yeah.
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
♪ ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
Cute and cuddly, boys.
[whimsical music]
♪ ♪
Coast is clear.
Stealthiness, Maurice.
Follow me.
- Ooh! - [laughs]
Mort, how many times am I telling you,
off the royal feet?
But I'm cushioned for comfort.
Wa-how!
Ahh, always satisfying.
Come, Maurice.
Now we will find what is lost
in the lost and found.
Ha-ha-ha!
Whee!
Heh, heh.
[laughter]
Eh, paper junk,
metal junk,
annoying junk,
plastic junk.
Ugh!
Oku in the forest of wonder.
Join Oku for an adventurous time.
Um, okay.
Shush, Mort.
Trying to find the goody-goodies.
Uh, hello.
What is this?
That's a yo-yo.
You do tricks with it.
See?
Yes.
I will have this wondrous, magical bauble.
Wha--
Maurice, my yo-yo-yo is broken.
Yo-yo. Two yos.
Well, mine has three yos, maybe more.
But it is broken, so no yos.
[upbeat ragtime music]
Whoop.
Nope, it's fine. You just need to practice.
Practicing is for those who aren't perfect.
Aahhh! Ooh!
Yaahh.
[video game beeping] Huh?
My royal feet have fallen next to Mort,
who will touch them
and annoy me to kick him harshly.
[electronic music and beeping]
Hello?
Mort.
Hooray!
Join me on the next level.
Okay, Oku.
I do whatever you say,
because you are my bestest friend.
Eh... foot freak say what?
Everyone, I am ready to unveil my latest invention,
the Psychotron.
Psychotron?
Sorry, Rico, seems like you've been replaced by a robot.
Oh, well, it'll happen to all of us sooner or later.
Anywho, clear out your locker.
Okay.
Oh, hold on.
The Psychotron is not a robotic mayhem machine.
Yay! Whew.
The Psychotron will allow us to hear private thoughts.
Observe.
Hooray for rainbows and unicorns.
Private's always thinking about rainbows and unicorns.
Not just Private's private thoughts;
anyone's thoughts.
Let's see what the Psychotron says when--
[whirring]
Sweet malted milk balls!
[belches]
[whooshes]
Kowalski, are you trying to read my mind or melt it?
Sorry, Skipper. It's this cheap circuit board.
Eat the magic star, Oku.
Yay! You eated it.
Mort really loves that game.
Yes, and he is no longer annoying me
by stupidly clinging to my royal feet,
so I love it too.
[electronic beeping]
I do not love it!
I thought you hated the foot-touching.
I do, but I love savagely rejecting Mort.
Makes me feel kingly.
But how am I to feel kingly now?
Um, the crown, the throne,
the big fits of the crazies?
Yeah, sure, those help.
But the rejecting Mort--ah, that's the sweet stuff, man.
[giggles]
Pat the monkey, Oku.
[rattling]
Here are my freshly pedicured royal feet.
Oh, I hope no one touches them.
[toy beeping]
No, bounce on the fluffy clouds, Oku.
Hey, kids!
Here's the new game that is all slammin' and rad:
cuddle them feet.
[beeping]
Maurice, place Mort upon my royal feet
so I may kick him off with the furiousness.
Yes.
Now is the moment I have--
[giggling] Oh, Oku, you're so fun.
This is an injury to insults!
If I cannot brutally reject Mort,
then who can I...
uh...
say, Maurice,
have you ever noticed my southern extremities?
[clears throat]
[grunting]
Come on. Give me your digital delights.
Oh, 64-bit garbage!
You couldn't even run
a particle destabilizer with this.
Ah, where am I going to find a powerful enough processor?
No! Leave me alone!
Come, Maurice. Touch my royal feet.
Caress them. Embrace them!
Keep your creepy feet away from me!
Maurice, get your cuddle on with these ten lonely toes.
- Nuh-uh. - Whoa!
Eh, guess you're wondering what all this is about.
I pass no judgment on you lemurs
and your sick, depraved pastimes.
Okay, okay. I'll tell you.
Since Mort found his stupid electronical game,
he is no longer touching my feet.
Elec--elec-- electronical?
[laughing]
Oku, eat the ham sandwich.
Ohhhh.
Check out the processing power on that baby!
I think I can help.
You're going to touch my feet and let me kick you?
Hmm, no.
[beeping]
Hello, Mort.
I bet all that button pushing has made you parched.
Yes, how fortunate
we have this cool, refreshifying lemonade.
Video gaming is thirsty work.
Have another.
- Hydrate. - And also drink.
[gasping]
[moaning]
Uh-huh, it's starting:
the traditional first steps of the potty dance.
Yeah, I never learned that dance
because, you know, I just go wherever I am.
What?
I am the king. It's cool.
[gurgling]
Mmm!
I gotta go!
Aha!
Finally, my Psychotron will be complete.
Mwah.
Ah, hello, Mort.
Oh, Oku.
I almost exploded. [laughs]
Oku, where are you?
Are you hiding?
Oku!
Uh, your little friend in the box is gone, Mort.
He said he was leaving because you are too stinky?
I don't know.
He's... gone?
Yeah, but my feet are here.
Maybe you would like to be hugging them up
so I can kick you off and yell, "No touching the royal feet"?
[sobbing]
[soft dramatic music]
♪ ♪
[light music]
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Looks like someone found their circuit board.
Yes, indeedy, state-of-the-art processor.
Holla!
That's wonderful, Kowalski.
So where'd you find it?
Oh, I, um...
I found it in... [mumbles]
Hmm? How's that?
Uh, I-I took it from... [mumbling]
You took it from what now?
I took it from Mort, okay?
I stole little innocent Mort's favorite plaything
to fuel my own scientific ambition!
[inhales]
[clears throat]
But it was totally worth it.
Watch.
Oh, Kowalski, have you no shame?
The sight of you makes me throw up in my beak!
Fish!
They're right.
I'm a monster,
a selfish, toy-stealing monster.
I would look so good in pantaloons.
Yes, I agree with the voice that sounds like me.
Pantaloons would accentuate my regality.
Uh, but that is not why I'm here.
I am here because Mort is still crying himself stupidly
and not noticing I combeded my feet fur.
Look at it.
Ew, feet fur.
[sobbing]
Oh, Kowalski,
you've got to make this right.
Yes, there's only one thing to do.
Right, then left, then left again,
then--er, just surprise me.
No.
I'm going to return the processor to Mort.
Attaboy, Kowalski.
My faith is restored.
Fish!
I'll just power down the--
oh, crud.
[thrilling detective music]
♪ ♪
Oof!
Totally stickeded the landing.
Kowalski, Rico.
Search the video game aisle.
Private and I will be on lookout duty.
And, ringtail...
Yes?
Dial down the shenanigans, huh?
[grunting]
Oh, yo-yos.
Hmm, this one is deficient.
♪ ♪
What do you see, Private?
The majestic Grand Canyon.
I got my eye on some kid and his beagle
in a pumpkin patch.
What a blockhead.
Eh, I'm getting it.
Look at me.
I am a yo-yo master-master.
Oh, lookit: walk the gecko.
Ah!
Aha! Found it.
All right, men, let's check out.
[gags]
We go out the way we came in.
Attack stack on my...
ringtail!
The yo-yo manufacturing business is in a sorry state,
let me tell you.
Oh, Mort.
Successful shopping trip.
Where is extremely sad eyes?
Oh, he's down there.
But, uh, look,
I got tired of Mort crying,
so I got him something new.
- [phone rings] - You have five messages.
Morgan? April.
You are not gonna believe what Jeremy did.
He asked Tessa out. No lie. Call me.
Ooh. Naughty Jeremy.
[beep]
Morgan? Jeremy. What up?
[whimsical orchestral music]
♪ ♪
[humming]
Huh?
Heh, new bush? Since when?
Don't mind me, Marlene.
I'm just a happy little shrub.
[hums]
Private, what are you doing?
Camouflage training.
If I move a single muscle, the game's up,
so just pretend I'm not here, okay?
Okay.
Oh, and Private? You're selling it.
Good job.
Thanks, Marlene.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Ah! Ah, ah, ah!
Direct hit.
Boo-yah!
both: Whoa!
- [thud] - Oops.
Sweet collateral damage!
They touched down in the park.
Private, where are you?
Fall in, soldier.
Ah, there you are.
Yes, but where's Marlene?
[Rico grunting, Marlene growling]
Ah, yes.
Because she was born in captivity,
when Marlene leaves the confines of the zoo,
she goes-- and this is a technical term--
[spluttering]
Oh, right. Forgot about that.
Hey, Rico.
See if you can stumble toward the zoo.
[growling]
Cut it out!
Just a few more agonizing feet, Rico.
What's up, Rico?
Hey, did I go all feral again?
Um... just a bit.
Ah!
What are you gonna do?
No need to fret, Marlene.
You're back in the safe, civilizing environs of the zoo.
But wait. How did I get out?
That is a complete and total mystery,
one we intend to thoroughly investigate.
Mm-hmm, you guys did it, huh?
Marlene, it would be premature to speculate
at this early phase.
[screams]
Badgers!
- Heh? - Oh.
Yeah, we've known they were coming for weeks.
We've been trying to find a good time to tell you.
Guess now is it.
Request permission to go hide in my bunk... forever.
Denied.
It's high time you got over this silly fear, Private.
Yeah, badgers are nice animals.
As a matter of fact,
badgers and otters are all part of the family Mustelidae.
Exactly, and you're not afraid of me, are you?
In the zoo or out of the zoo?
Heh, you're funny. Come on.
No. No.
I don't want to meet the badgers.
There is nothing to be afraid of.
Okay, okay. You're right.
Badgers are nice and friendly,
and they probably don't even have
six-inch, flesh-rending incisors.
Now let me go!
No, no, we are gonna go through with this.
[screams]
[whines]
Uh, is it me, or is this badger habitat
surprisingly low on badgers?
[gasps]
Hey, in there.
[growling]
Becky, we have visitors!
Visitors? Sweet!
Super sweet.
Super sugary sweet.
Hey, I'm Marlene.
Marlene, I'm Becky.
And I'm Stacy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but--
You're an otter.
Hey, spoiler alert.
Sorry; got excited.
Yeah, yeah, I'm an otter.
So you're practically our cousin.
both: Family!
Yeah, fa--family. [chuckles]
And this little cutie?
Becky, I've seen them in books.
- And glossy magazines. - TV shows.
- DVDs. - And TV shows on DVD!
That is a penguin!
All right, yes, I'm a penguin!
Now get on with it!
Devour me with your flesh-rending incisors already.
Devour?
[laughing] Flesh-rending incisors?
Private is just maybe
a little bit terrified of you guys.
Well, that's a shame,
because I've got this peanut butter Winky here
and nobody to share it with.
Peanut... butter...
Winky?
Mmm, good Winky.
Belly up, bud; there's more where that came from.
Oh, my!
Oh, Winkies everywhere.
Oh, Marlene, can you guys stay for lunch?
both: Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes!
Please say yes! Please say yes!
Okay.
Yes!
[fire crackling]
[lighthearted music]
♪ ♪
[laughter]
[camera shutter clicking]
See you soon, cousin.
Right back at you, cousin.
Okay.
Was I so right and you so wrong or what?
All right, okay. I admit it.
I was a silly-willy dingdong.
Okay, not the words I would choose.
But, yeah, I embrace the spirit.
Yes, yes.
[yawns]
Aah!
Hey, cousin.
Late-night snack attack?
Caramel corn and boysenberry smoothies!
both: So yum!
[slurping]
Spontaneous slumber party! Whoo!
Ehhh...
[record scratch] [beat drops]
[yelling]
Let's go hang-gliding!
Hey, let me down. Hey, let me down.
[badgers laughing]
[crash]
[mumbling]
Who's up for a game of Simon Says?
Ooh! Ooh! I'm Simon.
No!
I mean, it's late.
I-I think I'll pass.
Ehh! I didn't say "Simon Says."
- You didn't say anything. - I know.
I don't think she gets this game at all.
Seriously, guys, I'm exhausted.
Okay.
But we'll see you tomorrow, right, cousin?
We've got a full day planned.
Don't want to give away too much,
but spontaneous scavenger hunt.
Shh, you didn't hear it from us.
'Cause then it wouldn't be spontaneous.
Okay, well, we'll see, guys. Maybe.
both: Please say yes. Please say yes.
Please say yes.
Oh, my gosh!
Will you guys stop badgering me?
[dramatic musical flourish]
Badger?
Oh, I wish you hadn't said that.
Is that what you think badgers do, Marlene?
Badger?
[gasps] I so didn't mean it that way.
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean--
You said it, Marlene,
so you must have meant it!
Calm, Becky. Find your happy space.
She didn't mean to spew hateful badger stereotypes.
Do you think badgers badger, Marlene?
Huh? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?
Do ya?
No, no, I was just saying
I don't want to play any more silly games, that's all.
Silly?
Ooh.
I had them all wrong.
I mean, Stacy and Becky are regular folk,
just like you and me.
[hiccups, burps, coughs]
Well, me.
Anyway, in the end, there's nothing to fear.
Hide me! Hide me!
The badgers are gonna shred me!
They're gonna shred me to pieces!
[screams] I was right!
Never trust a badger!
And then they said when they were finished,
even my own mother wouldn't recognize what was left.
Now, now, that won't happen.
Yes, your right foot is very distinctive.
Your mother would surely recognize that.
And--and also, we're going to help you.
Nice recovery, Kowalski.
Video surveillance,
laser beam barrier,
barbed wire,
and an old-fashioned trip line
connected to a bell.
Whoo, that's a lot of stuff.
Take this garlic clove.
It wards off evil badger spirits.
Now, sleep easy, Marlene.
This security net is impenetrable.
Thanks. I feel better already.
Great, then we can knock off early.
Roll out, men.
[giggles]
Garlic.
Those guys.
What's so funny, Marlene?
Ahh!
You hear a joke?
A silly joke?
A silly badger joke?
A silly badger joke about garlic
and how it wards off evil badger spirits?
You heard that one too?
It's kind of funny, right?
No! It's just another insulting badger stereotype!
Insulting and untrue!
You sure? I don't know.
There might be something to it.
[suspenseful music]
[bell clanging loudly]
[gasps] It's the badgers.
Marlene!
Um, you three go ahead.
I've got an idea.
Sure, you do, Private.
No, really, I'm working on something.
Okay.
That doesn't sound chickeny at all.
Help!
Halt, stubby-legged mam--
Kowalski, Rico, sticky situation scenario.
[gulping]
[gun cocks, firing]
[gagging]
Uh-oh.
- Out of ammo, Skipper. - Sorry.
Blast. Give chase, men.
[exciting music]
♪ ♪
[both grunt]
Whoa!
Oof!
[grunting]
- [growls] - Ahh!
[whining]
Nowhere to run now, cousin.
Who's going to save you now?
I don't know, but, uh, I do have a question.
What's that bush doing here?
This!
[badgers yelling]
Hm? Hm?
Whoa!
[owl hooting]
Uh-oh.
I'm outside.
Wow, nothing gets past you, does it?
I'm--I'm--I'm out--
[growling] Outside!
[growling]
That is so wrong.
[roars]
Stace, I think maybe we should...
run!
Ohh!
Please don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me.
Whoa!
No! No!
Oh! Ah!
[Marlene growling]
Nice anti-badger measure, Private.
Thanks, Skipper.
I didn't quite plan for them to actually take Marlene.
Oh, well, it's working anyway.
Shouldn't we do something, Skipper?
It's a family matter, Kowalski.
There's no way I'm getting in the middle of that.
[light music]
Mmm.
Smashing good picnic.
I'm so glad we're all friends again.
Forgive and forget.
Can't imagine it any other way.
[growling]