[bell tolls]
[brassy detective music]
♪ ♪
- Hit it. - ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪
- ♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪ - Yeah.
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
Cute and cuddly, boys.
[jaunty theatrical music]
♪ ♪
To get to rain cloud city,
I'll need my magic hairbrush.
Search the robot.
I don't trust those blinky eyes.
That's right.
It's in the enchanted wardrobe.
Forget the hairbrush.
Don't turn your back on blinky.
[chiming music]
You call this Educational TV?
It's the Lunacorns.
They teach all about the wonders of imagination,
good citizenship, and proper grooming.
[horse neighs]
Oh, well, all in favor
of never letting Private pick the channel again?
- Aye. - Nay.
Another big win for democracy.
Zap!
announcer: Shirtless Ninja Action Theater!
Ooh, now, that's more like it.
Yes!
announcer: We'll be right back after these messages.
- What? - Oh.
Miss Perky,
you're my best friend.
Wow!
Hey, hey, look!
Hey, look at me!
I love you too.
[giggles]
[gasps]
Miss Perky, you can talk.
announcer: That's right, kids.
Thanks to advanced voice chip technology,
New Chatty Miss Perky can really talk.
A voice chip?
But that takes all the magic out of playing pretend.
Who'd even want a chatty--
[babbling]
All conversation simulated.
Doll does not really love you.
[babbling]
Hey, hey!
You! Yeah, you!
[babbling]
Kowalski, lovesick psycho option.
I believe I could convert your doll
to the talking design.
Of course, I'd need a voice chip
from one of the new chatty models,
but any toy store should--
Hey!
[screams] Whoa!
[screams]
[groans]
Come on, come on, come on, come on! We're ready!
I have a visual on the voice chips.
And not a human around.
Roll out.
[babbling]
Okay, guys, that's 9:00.
Unbolt the doors and stand back.
[crowd shouting]
Oof!
[screams]
[passes gas] Ooh!
Talking penguin?
What is this, 2005?
[screams]
[sign squeaking]
Maybe at a different toy store?
[car horns honking]
[all screaming]
[howls]
Perhaps direct from the factory?
[buzzer blaring]
[crowd yelling]
Egad!
Chatty Miss Perky must be the hottest toy on the market.
Maybe it's for the best, Rico.
No voice chip could ever compare
with the magic of your own imagination.
[groans]
Stow your groan, soldier.
Looks like those sharks missed some molded plastic chum.
Oh, oh.
[babbles]
Blah!
Ha?
False alarm.
Just a bunch of those TV Moon Horses.
[squeals]
The Lunacorns!
[gasps]
Princess Self-Respectra.
Prince Shares-A-Lot.
They're all here.
Why, I'm surprised
everyone's not swarming over these toys instead.
Yes. That's a real puzzler.
- Hmm. - Duck!
The feeding frenzy's begun!
Ah, jeez.
Another load of those froofy horsey things came back unsold.
Oh, well.
Melty, melty.
[flames whoosh]
[whimpers]
[snoring]
[groans]
I just can't stand to see
the poor maniac down like this.
Not even the awesome might of science
can make his doll speak without a voice chip.
Ah, well, that's nighty time for me, then.
- [giggles] - Private's right.
Better to tackle this after a good night's shut-eye.
Uh, Private?
What?
I had to save one Lunacorn, just one.
[sighs]
I didn't know she glowed in the dark.
Hugs for everyone.
I didn't know she could do that either.
Hmm.
Obviously equipped with some sort of voice... chip.
A horsey-to-dolly voice chip transplant?
Are you mad?
Well, with great risk comes great reward.
All I ask
is that you be as gentle
as the Lunacorns themselves.
Oh, then you may want to sleep through this one.
[drill whirring]
[whimpering]
[groaning]
[screams]
Ah, I was wondering where that rolled off to.
[whimpers]
[groans]
What's going on?
Rise and shine, Rico.
It's time to meet your new and improved dolly.
- Ta-da. - Go on.
Give her a little squeeze.
You're very special to me.
Whoo!
Friends don't judge friends.
Your heart is beautiful.
[cheering]
Everybody's welcome in Imagi-Nation.
Hey! Pretty lady, whoa.
Why don't you drop that thing
and get with the King?
Say what? [growls]
No, no, I was talking to the pretty lady.
You hear me talking with those pretty ears,
pretty lady?
[growls]
You sure you want to be doing that?
Oh, no, it's okay,
because she is attractive,
and I am wooing her.
Check this out. Check it out.
Hey-ey, baby!
Was your mama a fighter pilot?
Because when she had you,
she dropped a bomb. [chuckles]
And check it. It got another one, Maurice.
Watch this. Hey, baby!
Does your face hurt?
'Cause it's killing me.
[screams]
When you hurt others, you only hurt yourself.
- Huh? - Yes, yes.
Listen to the plastic lady.
Be nice to everyone,
and everyone will be nice to you.
What you talking about?
Wait. Hold on a second, buddy.
Have you never had a talking lady friend before?
Mm, not really.
Then listen up to King Julien.
The lady friends,
they like to tell you all kinds of crazy things, right?
But there's a simple way to deal with all of this.
Do everything she says and shut up about it, okay?
Uh...
okay.
Negative.
We do not take dollies on undercover missions.
Fun gets bigger when you share it.
[sighs] All right.
Just this once.
[squeaks]
But tell her to keep her profile low
and her voice chip shut.
All right!
[tires squealing]
Uh, coming up,
make a left.
You'll never be lost if you follow your heart.
Okay!
I said left. Left!
[screaming]
[trains whooshing]
[train horn blaring]
Once again, it should be the first left, then--
Hooray for puppies!
Hey, there's a puppy.
No, Rico! Those aren't puppies!
[dogs barking]
[penguins screaming]
[tires screech]
I call rainbows "upside-down color smiles."
Huh.
Comman-do, not comman-dolly.
Think about that, and let me know
when you get your head on straight.
[echoing] Always listen to the lady friend!
[feedback squeals]
In addition to echoey flashback voices,
I also do impressions.
Check it out.
This is Mort.
I love feet
because I'm a dum-dum head.
Yay!
That was dead-on, right?
I love flowers, moonbeams, and nonviolent protests.
[car whirring]
What in the name of incense and peppermints?
No. No.
No!
- What is it, Skipper? - [gasps]
He's gone hippie.
Peace, man.
What have you done, soldier?
No, Skipper. We did this.
That Lunacorn chip never belonged in a Miss Perky doll.
It violates all laws of nature
and injection-molded plastic.
I do like his shirt. Ooh.
Tell me there's an antidote
for this lovey-dovey brain poisoning.
I suggest 20ccs of senseless destruction, stat.
Come on, Rico. Come on.
Let's go blow something up.
Uh-uh.
Back off, baby.
Yeah, what are you gonna do, moonbeam?
- Uh! - It's good to be good.
I thought hippies were nonviolent.
Ah, what are you gonna do?
"Please" and "thank you" are magic words.
Stop that hippie!
Rainbows.
Sunshine.
Flowers. Moonbeams.
- Smiles. - Ooh.
Ha!
Puppies!
Let's go to Rain Cloud City.
- Okay! - Stop!
You've twisted everything that Lunacorns stand for.
But there's one thing you can't defeat.
[warbling tones]
[joyful music]
All you need is star kisses, moon hugs,
and a pixie ticket
to the peaceful land of Imagi-Nation.
Lunacorn!
[imitating laser shots]
[both groaning]
[screams]
Rico, compadre,
I know that doll's words sound sweet,
but they're built on a unicorn-fueled lie.
Are you prepared to throw away
our entire brotherhood over that?
- Yep. - Let's be special friends.
Say what?
Friends? Oh, no.
That's girl code for, "I never want to see you again."
Rico, I-I think she's breaking up with you.
Let's be friends. Friends.
Friends. Special friends.
[heart crunches]
[groans]
[sniffles]
Chin up, soldier.
You're a real catch.
I'm sure one day, she'll come around.
What's that, Miss Perky?
You say you've changed your mind?
[in a high voice] I love Rico just the way he is.
Oh!
Oh, man. [babbling]
Wow.
Well, score one for imagination after all.
Huzzah.
And the voice chip evidence?
Already disposing of it.
[yelps]
You're very special to me.
Oh, ho.
Right back at you, baby.
Uh...
Quiet, Maurice.
I am wooing this smoothie.
[smooches]
[fast-paced jazz music]
♪ ♪
Yeah, yeah. You can consider the shot approved, Jim.
Oh, sure. It's perfect for this year's ad campaign.
It's got an animal in it, right?
Done.
Private, watch the door.
[whip cracks]
Rico, secure a perimeter.
[growls]
Kowalski, talk to me.
Logging back on, Skipper.
But status remains unchanged.
We're stuck.
Unacceptable, soldier.
We need to find a way to break through.
Try the red ten on the Black Jack.
Keep shuffling, man.
If that ace of diamonds doesn't turn up soon--
Skipper, someone's coming.
Screen saver on.
Rico, lights out.
[doorknob rattling]
Attack!
[punching noises]
Ringtail.
Oh, why, hello, neighbor.
Funny running into you here.
Nothing funny about it.
We're here on a high-priority covert operation.
- [computer beeping] - So I see.
Red eight on the black nine, by the way.
And we are here to sneak a preview
of the photographic that will be used
to advertise this zoo's bestest selling point.
Si! That's us!
But if you look at it more closely
and cover this part of your eye like so,
you will see that it is mostly of me.
You can't just waltz into a secure area, Ringtail.
What if somebody had seen you?
But everybody should be seeing me.
Is that not the point of postering my face
all over the city?
Our entire operation depends on total secrecy.
When we operate, we're invisible, like ghosts.
Whoosh!
- Like the wind. - [yelps]
But, Skipper, I thought we were like ghosts.
We're like a ghostly wind
or a windy ghost.
It doesn't really matter.
Kowalski, explicate.
We move in. We move out.
We leave no visible traces behind.
Oh, really?
Then how is it that you are explaining this?
Visibility!
[all gasping]
- [explosion] - [yelps]
Buck up, boys.
We just need to do a little damage control.
- That's all. - Oh!
How much damage are we gonna need to control, exactly?
Well, when they blow up the shot,
we are going to be plastered across
every billboard and bus stop in Manhattan.
Oh, dear.
Our cover will be blown.
Yeah, well, it gets worse.
Skipper, you better have a look at this.
What? I don't see-- wait.
What is that stuck to my foot? Is that--
It is.
Toilet tissue.
TP foot. Insult to injury.
Comparing it to this tissue sample,
I would say it is two-- no, three-ply.
So, you know, there's that.
There must be something we can do.
If we can intercept
the transmission of that photograph
before it gets sent off to the zoo's advertising agency,
it might be possible to digitally alter the image
and remove any incriminating evidence.
Right. It's off to the photographer, boys.
We go in. We go out.
We stay invisible.
Like ghosts.
And/or the wind.
[adventurous music]
What is this?
Hmm. Huh.
If I didn't know better,
I'd almost think that lemur was shaking his booty at me.
Ah, well, off you go to the ad agency, boys.
[doorbell rings]
The doorbell at this hour?
[ringing continues]
Operation shutterbug is a go.
Alert. Alert.
Shutterbug is returning to the cocoon.
Kowalski, he's heading right for you.
Private, you need to buy Kowalski some time,
and you need to do it now.
[microwave beeping]
My burrito, already?
Kowalski, status report.
Not sure about the retinal eye scan.
Skipper, I'm compromised!
[monster snarls]
[explosion]
[siren wails]
[theatrical piano music]
[monster growling]
I'm thinking this is not normal.
Kowalski, it's now or never.
[growling]
[computer beeping]
I've managed to isolate and enlarge
the target area of the photo.
[gasps]
[mechanical whirring]
[yelping]
- What's going on? - [beeping]
[rumbling]
[gasps]
This is chuck--
[siren wailing]
[monster growls]
Hey!
[whirring]
Whoa, whoa! [yelps]
Is this place haunted by ghosts or something?
Or the wind, whatever works.
Preparing to delete.
[bangs]
[splats]
File sent.
Oh, boy.
I think the file was just sent out.
Kowalski, report.
Did you dispatch a doctored version of the photo?
Well, yes. Only I inadvertently
enlarged the incriminating portion of the shot
- instead of removing it. - But that's worse.
I thought they called it "doctoring"
because it's supposed to make things better.
I was able to grab
a business card for the ad agency.
Right. Let's go.
Moving on to the new central park zoo campaign.
- Oh! - Oh, my.
What are those, penguins?
Remember the rules of engagement, boys.
We only use violence if absolutely necessary...
or if I say so.
This is the approved shot
for the zoo campaign? Are you sure?
A flamethrower doesn't really seem family-friendly to me.
[laser hissing]
[slurping]
Ooh, I got the tagline for this.
"Killer commando penguins."
It sells itself.
Hey, look, this pudgy one's
got toilet paper stuck to his foot.
[laughter]
Paper pudgy penguins perform!
I love it!
Sweep and clear.
[punching noises]
[giggles]
For the record, that's all muscle.
[groans]
Skipper, the bagel!
[gasps]
- File sent. - [groans]
And so it goes to the print shop.
Only now with a caption:
"Killer commando penguins."
I'd go to that zoo.
- [thumping at door] - Security! Open up!
Damage control.
To the printer, boys.
Okay, 10,000 copies should do it.
Uh, hey, what's stuck on his foot?
[laughing]
Humiliate him.
[machinery clanks]
[screws squeaking]
Come on, laughing boy.
Take a load off.
[yelps]
All right, who's the idiot?
Apparently, you are.
[keyboard keys clacking]
[computer beeping]
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Skipper, your toe.
What?
More toilet paper?
[computer beeps]
[gears clanking]
[buzzer blares]
Well, 1 down,
999,999 to go.
Initiate operation stop the presses.
[machinery whirring]
Slow it down, Kowalski.
They're coming out too fast.
Right.
You know what?
I am not even going to pretend this will work.
[buzzer blares]
Oh, paper cut!
Medic! Medic!
Oof!
[rope whooshing]
[screaming]
[groans]
[yelps]
Thud!
- Ooh! - Ah!
- Oh! - Hey!
[dull thudding]
[screaming]
[all groaning]
[squelching]
- Oh! - Ah!
- Ooh! - Please!
Ooh!
[yelps]
[yells]
Heh, heh.
[shrieking]
[grunting]
[paint splattering]
[clangs]
[splats]
Our cover's blown.
Game over.
Rico, activate self-destruct.
[beeping]
Self-destruct sequence initiated.
Hydrogen core meltdown in five minutes.
Well, I guess this is good-bye.
We're gonna have to go our separate ways.
I have assigned each of you new identities.
Kowalski, your new name is Senorita Esmeralda Ramirez.
You rent snorkeling equipment
to the happy turistas in Puerto Vallarta.
Gracias, o capitan.
Rico, you now teach advanced linguistics
at the University of Chicago.
Do you think you can handle that?
[babbling hysterically]
[spitting]
[babbling]
As if I had to ask.
Private, you will become an ingenious TV detective
known simply as The Puzzler.
And now for the unveiling of our new campaign.
Whoo. Hoo.
[chuckles] I cannot wait to see
my own gangly beautyness on display.
[mild applause]
Uh, that's not how I remember it exactly.
Skipper, look.
It's all smeared and smattered.
- Our cover is secure. - Yeah.
So once again, we remain invisible and undetected,
our actions completely unnoticed by the--
Self-destruct in three, two, one.
[explosion]
[people screaming, car alarms blaring]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪