1 00:00:03,331 --> 00:00:05,206 [bell tolls] 2 00:00:05,289 --> 00:00:08,164 [brassy detective music] 3 00:00:23,998 --> 00:00:25,914 Hit it. 4 00:00:25,998 --> 00:00:27,039 ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪ 5 00:00:27,123 --> 00:00:28,331 Yeah. 6 00:00:28,414 --> 00:00:29,456 ♪ Hey-oh ♪ 7 00:00:29,539 --> 00:00:31,373 ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪ 8 00:00:36,581 --> 00:00:38,123 [camera shutter clicks] 9 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,998 Cute and cuddly, boys. 10 00:00:56,206 --> 00:00:59,789 Okay, boys, I got a fresh scarlet snapper here, 11 00:00:59,873 --> 00:01:01,373 and it's yours for the taking. 12 00:01:01,456 --> 00:01:04,623 All you got to do is come and get it. 13 00:01:04,706 --> 00:01:07,164 But, Skipper, the floor is covered in mouse traps. 14 00:01:07,248 --> 00:01:09,998 Razor-sharp observation there, young private. 15 00:01:10,081 --> 00:01:12,664 This would complicate fish acquisition. 16 00:01:12,748 --> 00:01:16,623 This magnificent catch goes to the man who has the wit, 17 00:01:16,706 --> 00:01:18,498 ingenuity, and cunning... 18 00:01:18,581 --> 00:01:21,039 [mousetraps snapping] 19 00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:23,498 Or Rico. 20 00:01:23,581 --> 00:01:24,706 It goes to Rico. 21 00:01:24,789 --> 00:01:26,164 [screaming] 22 00:01:26,248 --> 00:01:29,331 Shh, do you hear the cry of an innocent child? 23 00:01:29,414 --> 00:01:31,623 Move out, men. 24 00:01:31,706 --> 00:01:33,539 [gulping] 25 00:01:33,623 --> 00:01:34,956 [whimpers] 26 00:01:35,039 --> 00:01:36,498 [groans] 27 00:01:36,581 --> 00:01:38,914 [whimpering] 28 00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,456 - [mousetrap snaps] - [grunts] 29 00:01:40,539 --> 00:01:42,248 - [mousetraps snapping] - [both screaming] 30 00:01:42,331 --> 00:01:45,498 I wasn't doing nothing, just petting the sheep, 31 00:01:45,581 --> 00:01:47,748 and then he bit me! 32 00:01:47,831 --> 00:01:49,998 [crying] 33 00:01:50,081 --> 00:01:52,206 On behalf of the Central Park Zoo, 34 00:01:52,289 --> 00:01:55,706 I'm legally required to tell you I'm sorry. 35 00:01:55,789 --> 00:01:57,039 Okay? 36 00:01:57,123 --> 00:01:58,706 A biter in the petting zoo? 37 00:01:58,789 --> 00:02:00,206 Just when you think you've seen 38 00:02:00,289 --> 00:02:02,373 all the sick the world can throw at you. 39 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,039 - Come on, you. - [bleating] 40 00:02:05,123 --> 00:02:07,956 Someone's got to take that fluffy punk down. 41 00:02:08,956 --> 00:02:10,539 You think so, Skipper? 42 00:02:10,623 --> 00:02:12,706 I mean, it looks like Alice is taking charge. 43 00:02:12,789 --> 00:02:15,456 With this zoo's revolving-door justice system? 44 00:02:15,539 --> 00:02:17,873 He'll be back to chewing on children in no time. 45 00:02:17,956 --> 00:02:20,039 And now that he's tasted human blood, 46 00:02:20,123 --> 00:02:23,373 there'll be no satisfying his depraved thirst. 47 00:02:23,456 --> 00:02:26,206 [sighs] 48 00:02:26,289 --> 00:02:28,998 So it's up to patriots like us 49 00:02:29,081 --> 00:02:30,623 to take the law into our own hands. 50 00:02:35,414 --> 00:02:36,748 [grunting] 51 00:02:36,831 --> 00:02:38,998 Oh, dear. [grunting] 52 00:02:39,081 --> 00:02:40,414 [crashing sounds] 53 00:02:40,498 --> 00:02:42,248 Huh? Wha? Somebody there? 54 00:02:42,331 --> 00:02:44,831 Yeah, someone's here... 55 00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,914 your worst nightmare. 56 00:02:46,998 --> 00:02:49,081 A flying coyote with laser beam eyes? 57 00:02:49,164 --> 00:02:51,539 Um... no, 58 00:02:51,623 --> 00:02:54,248 four angry penguins. 59 00:02:54,331 --> 00:02:56,164 Oh, whew, 'cause when coyotes 60 00:02:56,248 --> 00:02:58,081 develop flight and laser technology, 61 00:02:58,164 --> 00:02:59,289 it's game over, you know? 62 00:02:59,373 --> 00:03:01,206 Can the lip flap, sicko. 63 00:03:01,289 --> 00:03:03,331 This ain't our first time at the rodeo. 64 00:03:03,414 --> 00:03:05,123 We know what you did to that kid. 65 00:03:05,206 --> 00:03:07,373 Kowalski, options? 66 00:03:07,456 --> 00:03:08,831 Let's see. 67 00:03:08,914 --> 00:03:10,831 We could go with the Norwegian noogie 68 00:03:10,914 --> 00:03:12,414 or the West Indies wedgie. 69 00:03:12,498 --> 00:03:14,289 Why don't we just pin a corsage on him 70 00:03:14,373 --> 00:03:16,623 and take him to the prom? Come on, man. 71 00:03:16,706 --> 00:03:19,623 In that case, I feel there's only one choice, 72 00:03:19,706 --> 00:03:22,414 the Conquistador's sunburn. 73 00:03:22,498 --> 00:03:24,039 [gags] 74 00:03:24,123 --> 00:03:25,331 [screaming] 75 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:27,206 Oh, great. Great. Fantastic. 76 00:03:27,289 --> 00:03:28,873 Well, I don't suppose anyone 77 00:03:28,956 --> 00:03:30,498 wants to hear my side of the story? 78 00:03:30,581 --> 00:03:31,623 I would actually. 79 00:03:33,456 --> 00:03:35,456 I just think we should hear both sides of the story. 80 00:03:35,539 --> 00:03:36,956 Is that so wrong? 81 00:03:37,039 --> 00:03:39,706 I'm going to put that in my naive question file, private. 82 00:03:39,789 --> 00:03:41,123 Kowalski? 83 00:03:43,706 --> 00:03:45,873 Please, Skipper? 84 00:03:45,956 --> 00:03:47,789 Ah, fine. 85 00:03:47,873 --> 00:03:49,498 Go ahead, cotton ball. 86 00:03:49,581 --> 00:03:51,664 Explain to us what possible reason you could have 87 00:03:51,748 --> 00:03:53,623 for attacking an innocent child. 88 00:03:53,706 --> 00:03:54,831 Innocent? 89 00:03:54,914 --> 00:03:56,623 Okay, let's start there. 90 00:03:56,706 --> 00:03:59,206 That kid was no innocent. 91 00:03:59,289 --> 00:04:01,331 His type is the scourge of the children's zoo. 92 00:04:01,414 --> 00:04:03,289 [screaming] Is this loud? 93 00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:06,789 All hopped up on churros and juice boxes. 94 00:04:06,873 --> 00:04:09,748 Well, after all that, I can understand why you snapped. 95 00:04:09,831 --> 00:04:11,039 That? [laughs] 96 00:04:11,123 --> 00:04:12,706 No, that was nothing. 97 00:04:12,789 --> 00:04:14,331 You know what we call that in the petting zoo? 98 00:04:14,414 --> 00:04:16,248 Tuesday. 99 00:04:16,331 --> 00:04:19,748 It's what the little jerk did next that crossed the line. 100 00:04:19,831 --> 00:04:20,748 - [wool tearing] - [screams] 101 00:04:20,831 --> 00:04:22,706 For the love of-- 102 00:04:22,789 --> 00:04:26,498 he ruined my beautiful, beautiful fleece and left me... 103 00:04:26,581 --> 00:04:27,623 exposed. 104 00:04:27,706 --> 00:04:29,831 [pulse thumping] 105 00:04:29,914 --> 00:04:31,873 So, yeah, it was self-defense. 106 00:04:31,956 --> 00:04:33,248 Oh, come on. 107 00:04:33,331 --> 00:04:34,831 It's the petting zoo. 108 00:04:34,914 --> 00:04:37,164 It's thunderdome. 109 00:04:37,248 --> 00:04:40,373 It's a nonstop parade of grubby, grimy, grabby hands. 110 00:04:40,456 --> 00:04:41,539 I mean, do you know what it takes 111 00:04:41,623 --> 00:04:43,039 to get candy apple out of this coat? 112 00:04:43,123 --> 00:04:45,123 - Do you? - Uh, club soda? 113 00:04:45,206 --> 00:04:46,748 Oh, hey, that might work. 114 00:04:46,831 --> 00:04:48,373 But still, it's the principle. 115 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,706 - Look men, we pegged-- - Randy. 116 00:04:50,789 --> 00:04:52,248 Randy here all wrong. 117 00:04:52,331 --> 00:04:54,039 Um, I didn't, actually. 118 00:04:54,123 --> 00:04:55,331 Sure you did. 119 00:04:55,414 --> 00:04:57,456 You were acting like judge and jury. 120 00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:01,539 Well, anyway, that's the past. He needs our help. 121 00:05:01,623 --> 00:05:03,748 Skipper, I've been working on a compound 122 00:05:03,831 --> 00:05:05,206 to protect us during combat. 123 00:05:05,289 --> 00:05:08,081 It may be just what the doctor ordered. 124 00:05:08,164 --> 00:05:10,956 [aerosol can hissing] 125 00:05:11,039 --> 00:05:12,623 Ah, there. 126 00:05:12,706 --> 00:05:14,039 I've coated Randy's wool 127 00:05:14,123 --> 00:05:15,748 with a kinetic-energy-repelling polymer 128 00:05:15,831 --> 00:05:17,081 that will protect him 129 00:05:17,164 --> 00:05:19,539 from the sticky hands of churroed-up children. 130 00:05:19,623 --> 00:05:21,081 Outstanding. 131 00:05:21,164 --> 00:05:23,039 You are home free, amigo. 132 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:26,081 [screaming] 133 00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:31,039 - Kowalski? - What, Skipper? 134 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:34,081 - The bouncing? - Yes, he is. 135 00:05:34,164 --> 00:05:35,914 [crashing sounds] 136 00:05:35,998 --> 00:05:37,914 Men, I need options, 137 00:05:37,998 --> 00:05:39,581 and not our normal options, 138 00:05:39,664 --> 00:05:41,914 the options we bust out for special guests. 139 00:05:41,998 --> 00:05:44,123 [gagging] 140 00:05:44,206 --> 00:05:47,164 Ah, Rico, I admire your cocky swagger, 141 00:05:47,248 --> 00:05:48,623 but we should save the party 142 00:05:48,706 --> 00:05:50,373 until after we've achieved victory. 143 00:05:50,456 --> 00:05:52,998 Skipper, I believe Rico is proposing to rub the balloon 144 00:05:53,081 --> 00:05:56,456 against Randy's woolly coat, thus creating a static charge 145 00:05:56,539 --> 00:05:58,581 that should prove most shocking. 146 00:05:58,664 --> 00:06:00,873 - Yep-a-doodle. - Oh, sure. 147 00:06:00,956 --> 00:06:02,956 That ought to keep him out of the kiddies' clutches. 148 00:06:03,039 --> 00:06:04,956 Go to it, Rico. 149 00:06:05,039 --> 00:06:07,748 [balloon squeaking] 150 00:06:15,414 --> 00:06:17,998 And three hours. 151 00:06:18,748 --> 00:06:21,289 All right, Randy, you are all charged up. 152 00:06:21,373 --> 00:06:22,914 You really think this'll work? 153 00:06:22,998 --> 00:06:24,581 Oh, yeah. 154 00:06:24,664 --> 00:06:27,873 [static humming] 155 00:06:27,956 --> 00:06:29,623 Uh-oh. 156 00:06:31,373 --> 00:06:34,206 - [static crackling] - [both screaming] 157 00:06:36,539 --> 00:06:38,789 Okay, Randy, we're changing tactics. 158 00:06:38,873 --> 00:06:40,831 We can't keep the kids' paws off you. 159 00:06:40,914 --> 00:06:44,081 But maybe we can make it so you don't mind. 160 00:06:44,164 --> 00:06:46,831 Hypnosis. 161 00:06:46,914 --> 00:06:48,831 Should I be freaked by this? 162 00:06:48,914 --> 00:06:50,331 No, no, no, Randy, 163 00:06:50,414 --> 00:06:53,164 I assure you, I am a hypnosis expert. 164 00:06:53,248 --> 00:06:54,873 I saw it on the telly. 165 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,831 [sighs] Whatever. Just give it a whirl. 166 00:06:56,914 --> 00:06:58,081 Okay, then. 167 00:06:58,164 --> 00:07:03,956 Stare at the watch and relax... 168 00:07:04,039 --> 00:07:07,123 [watch ticking] 169 00:07:07,206 --> 00:07:09,164 [all clucking] 170 00:07:09,248 --> 00:07:11,164 It didn't go like this on the telly. 171 00:07:11,248 --> 00:07:14,623 [all clucking] 172 00:07:14,706 --> 00:07:16,248 Ow. 173 00:07:16,331 --> 00:07:18,539 Might as well just accept it, 174 00:07:18,623 --> 00:07:20,414 my future is nothing but chocolate, 175 00:07:20,498 --> 00:07:22,164 cotton candy, and lollipops. 176 00:07:22,248 --> 00:07:23,831 both: Yum. 177 00:07:23,914 --> 00:07:26,123 Stuck on my woolly butt! 178 00:07:26,206 --> 00:07:27,581 Oh. Yuck. 179 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,706 Uh... yum. 180 00:07:29,789 --> 00:07:32,373 Some new facts have come to light. 181 00:07:32,456 --> 00:07:34,206 Like, did you know a petting zoo 182 00:07:34,289 --> 00:07:36,623 is not a sheep's natural habitat? 183 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,373 I had no idea. 184 00:07:38,456 --> 00:07:40,498 I've lived my whole life in petting zoos. 185 00:07:40,581 --> 00:07:43,539 We found this in the zoovenier shop. 186 00:07:43,623 --> 00:07:47,039 Apparently it's called a "farm." 187 00:07:47,123 --> 00:07:49,206 Kowalski, voice analysis. 188 00:07:49,289 --> 00:07:51,331 - Home to horsies... - [horse whinnying] 189 00:07:51,414 --> 00:07:52,706 - Piggies... - [pig snorting] 190 00:07:52,789 --> 00:07:54,456 - And sheep. - [sheep bleating] 191 00:07:54,539 --> 00:07:57,539 - I don't sound like that, do I? - Yup. 192 00:07:57,623 --> 00:08:02,289 The point is, won't this be a smashing place to live, Randy? 193 00:08:02,373 --> 00:08:03,914 To live? Really? 194 00:08:05,539 --> 00:08:08,789 Well, it's a little snug, but-- 195 00:08:08,873 --> 00:08:11,914 ah, it's good to be home. 196 00:08:11,998 --> 00:08:14,248 Yeah, uh, Randy, you know, that's just a toy. 197 00:08:14,331 --> 00:08:16,831 Actual farms are much larger. 198 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,456 Ha. Yeah. Huh. 199 00:08:19,539 --> 00:08:20,914 Do I look like an idiot? 200 00:08:20,998 --> 00:08:23,748 - Yup. - Ooh, one thing, 201 00:08:23,831 --> 00:08:27,248 if we take Randy to a farm, won't Alice notice he's missing? 202 00:08:27,331 --> 00:08:28,998 Not a problem. 203 00:08:29,081 --> 00:08:32,331 Wait, wait, wait, let me be standing under this. 204 00:08:32,414 --> 00:08:36,123 You want to borrow Mort so you can help some guy 205 00:08:36,206 --> 00:08:39,914 I care nothing about get to a "fa-arm"? 206 00:08:39,998 --> 00:08:41,164 That is the plan. 207 00:08:41,248 --> 00:08:45,081 - Eh... no. - Yay, King Julien loves me. 208 00:08:45,164 --> 00:08:46,748 You cannot borrow Mort, 209 00:08:46,831 --> 00:08:50,123 because "borrow" says that you will bring him back. 210 00:08:50,206 --> 00:08:52,289 Bye-bye, Mort. 211 00:08:52,373 --> 00:08:54,914 See? That's a love shove. 212 00:08:56,914 --> 00:08:58,331 I'm a sheep. 213 00:08:58,414 --> 00:09:01,164 Cock-a-doodle-doo! 214 00:09:01,248 --> 00:09:02,789 Do you think Alice will buy it? 215 00:09:02,873 --> 00:09:04,123 Are you kidding? 216 00:09:04,206 --> 00:09:05,789 The resemblance is uncanny. 217 00:09:05,873 --> 00:09:09,289 Hey, fluffy stuff, how's it going? 218 00:09:09,373 --> 00:09:10,956 All right, men. Commence phase two 219 00:09:11,039 --> 00:09:13,373 of operation steal wool. 220 00:09:14,789 --> 00:09:16,664 S-T-E-A-L. 221 00:09:16,748 --> 00:09:18,956 You got to read it to get it. 222 00:09:19,039 --> 00:09:20,623 Private's idea. 223 00:09:20,706 --> 00:09:23,623 Hey, I thought you were taking the truck upstate to that farm. 224 00:09:23,706 --> 00:09:25,373 Ah, the new guy said he'd do it. 225 00:09:25,456 --> 00:09:27,289 - New guy? - [horn honking] 226 00:09:27,373 --> 00:09:29,289 [computer voice] Adios, amigos. 227 00:09:31,414 --> 00:09:33,081 - Is it safe? - All clear. 228 00:09:36,081 --> 00:09:38,414 Let's see. Estimated travel time 229 00:09:38,498 --> 00:09:41,164 at approximately three inches per hour... 230 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,123 one hour and 45 minutes. 231 00:09:43,206 --> 00:09:45,831 Are you sure this is the right map, Kowalski? 232 00:09:45,914 --> 00:09:47,831 Pretty sure. 233 00:09:47,914 --> 00:09:50,539 Ooh, we don't have Oklahoma yet. 234 00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,289 - Ow. - Punch buggy! 235 00:09:52,373 --> 00:09:53,706 Giant lemonade on your left, Skipper. 236 00:09:53,789 --> 00:09:55,373 Are you sure about his map? 237 00:09:55,456 --> 00:09:57,456 [all grunting] 238 00:09:57,539 --> 00:10:00,039 Why didn't you go at the last rest stop? 239 00:10:00,123 --> 00:10:01,498 We didn't have to then. 240 00:10:01,581 --> 00:10:02,998 It is a map of New York? 241 00:10:03,081 --> 00:10:04,414 Um, it is a map. 242 00:10:08,081 --> 00:10:09,248 [tires squealing] 243 00:10:09,331 --> 00:10:10,956 I can't see a blasted thing. 244 00:10:11,039 --> 00:10:13,539 The combination of grease, mud, and dead bugs 245 00:10:13,623 --> 00:10:15,081 have completely obscured the road. 246 00:10:15,164 --> 00:10:17,414 If only we had some sort of absorbent cloth 247 00:10:17,498 --> 00:10:19,623 or chamois with which to clean the windshield. 248 00:10:24,039 --> 00:10:26,414 Just hurry up, okay? 249 00:10:26,498 --> 00:10:28,581 If my calculations are correct, 250 00:10:28,664 --> 00:10:30,373 and they usually are, 251 00:10:30,456 --> 00:10:32,331 we should be able to see the farm any-- 252 00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:33,789 [tires squealing] 253 00:10:33,873 --> 00:10:35,123 There it is. 254 00:10:35,206 --> 00:10:36,539 I saw it first. I did. 255 00:10:36,623 --> 00:10:38,206 Ooh, rustic. 256 00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:40,664 And much bigger than the toy. 257 00:10:40,748 --> 00:10:44,789 Here, at the farm, you will find your bliss. 258 00:10:46,289 --> 00:10:48,664 [screaming] 259 00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:51,831 Ah, and so begins my beautiful farm life. 260 00:10:53,081 --> 00:10:55,539 Hey, know where I can find the sheep? 261 00:10:55,623 --> 00:10:58,498 Take off your coat. Stay awhile. 262 00:10:58,581 --> 00:11:00,623 Wait, you're sheep? 263 00:11:00,706 --> 00:11:02,748 - No, but you're-- - Sheared? 264 00:11:02,831 --> 00:11:03,789 Yes. 265 00:11:03,873 --> 00:11:06,289 You will love the shears. 266 00:11:06,373 --> 00:11:07,623 The shears? 267 00:11:07,706 --> 00:11:10,206 Be a brand new ewe. 268 00:11:10,289 --> 00:11:11,664 all: [chanting] Shears. 269 00:11:11,748 --> 00:11:16,206 Shears. Shears. Shears. 270 00:11:16,289 --> 00:11:18,039 Help! 271 00:11:18,123 --> 00:11:20,539 Wait! 272 00:11:20,623 --> 00:11:23,289 Ah, so Randy's right back where he started. 273 00:11:23,373 --> 00:11:25,539 - Poor guy. - Actually, private, 274 00:11:25,623 --> 00:11:27,206 I don't think you need to worry. 275 00:11:27,289 --> 00:11:28,414 Oh, yeah. 276 00:11:28,498 --> 00:11:29,831 I'm gonna get me a sheep. 277 00:11:29,914 --> 00:11:32,581 - [bleating] - [screaming] 278 00:11:32,664 --> 00:11:35,373 Rico and I showed him a few moves. 279 00:11:35,456 --> 00:11:36,956 - [grunting] - [bleating] 280 00:11:37,039 --> 00:11:39,456 [yelling] 281 00:11:39,539 --> 00:11:42,081 Eh, you can't join 'em, beat 'em. 282 00:11:57,789 --> 00:11:59,497 All right, we do this smart, and we do this-- 283 00:11:59,581 --> 00:12:01,206 - [buzzer sounding] - Right now! Oh, golly! 284 00:12:01,289 --> 00:12:04,081 [all grunting] 285 00:12:05,997 --> 00:12:08,289 [wheels squeaking] 286 00:12:08,372 --> 00:12:10,414 [grunting] 287 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,206 Exercise complete. 288 00:12:12,289 --> 00:12:15,914 As I suspected, a stuffed bunny. 289 00:12:15,997 --> 00:12:17,747 Fine, but why didn't you hit it with the stick? 290 00:12:17,831 --> 00:12:19,622 - What? But-- - We thought this was a test 291 00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,622 of when to apply force, Skipper. 292 00:12:21,706 --> 00:12:23,456 Oh, it was. 293 00:12:23,539 --> 00:12:24,831 [all scream] 294 00:12:24,914 --> 00:12:26,789 Uh, how did you get the crossbow inside the-- 295 00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:28,872 I know a guy in Havana. 296 00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:31,497 He doesn't ask questions, and neither do I. 297 00:12:31,581 --> 00:12:33,372 [yelling] 298 00:12:33,456 --> 00:12:35,414 Perimeter breach. Rico, man the bunny-bow. 299 00:12:37,164 --> 00:12:38,331 Sirs. 300 00:12:38,414 --> 00:12:41,581 Private Eggy reporting for duty, sirs. 301 00:12:41,664 --> 00:12:43,331 all: Ah. 302 00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:45,706 [mumbling] 303 00:12:45,789 --> 00:12:47,789 - Of course not. - [all grunting] 304 00:12:47,872 --> 00:12:50,414 It's Eggy. You remember little Eggy. 305 00:12:50,497 --> 00:12:52,747 He's the adorable duckling we took care of 306 00:12:52,831 --> 00:12:54,456 when he was just an egg. 307 00:12:54,539 --> 00:12:57,081 I got a bit nervous when you all trained him so hard, 308 00:12:57,164 --> 00:12:59,539 but in the end, he hatched, and everything was just-- 309 00:12:59,622 --> 00:13:01,872 No unauthorized flashbacks. 310 00:13:01,956 --> 00:13:03,997 He's cute. We have a history. End of story. 311 00:13:04,081 --> 00:13:07,247 Oh, and what brings you back to our lair, 312 00:13:07,331 --> 00:13:10,164 you kitchy-koochy-- oh, I just want to eat you up. 313 00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:12,081 Sweetie? Are you down there? 314 00:13:12,164 --> 00:13:15,456 Too late. Blend and confuse, boys. 315 00:13:16,247 --> 00:13:19,331 Excuse me, did my son-- there you are. 316 00:13:19,414 --> 00:13:23,081 Gah, my cover's blown, but they'll never break me. 317 00:13:23,164 --> 00:13:25,789 - [maniacal laughter] - So, how've you been? 318 00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:28,622 - You see this? - Burmese cobra escape. 319 00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:30,497 Enemies sighted, Skipper. 320 00:13:30,581 --> 00:13:32,039 [grunting] 321 00:13:32,122 --> 00:13:33,789 This is what he's been like 322 00:13:33,872 --> 00:13:35,706 ever since your egg-sitting adventure. 323 00:13:35,789 --> 00:13:38,331 [yelling] 324 00:13:38,414 --> 00:13:41,872 There does seem to be a slight uptick in zesty exuberance. 325 00:13:41,956 --> 00:13:43,706 "zesty exuberance"? 326 00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:45,497 My son is going to get hurt. 327 00:13:45,581 --> 00:13:47,081 Your mama's right, Eggy. 328 00:13:47,164 --> 00:13:49,289 We've had years of training for what we do. 329 00:13:49,372 --> 00:13:52,081 A boy your age isn't ready for field work. 330 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:56,206 I told him that, but he says my intel is compromised. 331 00:13:56,289 --> 00:13:59,456 Who's pulling your strings, mother? 332 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,039 Give us till sundown. 333 00:14:01,122 --> 00:14:03,831 We'll get little danger britches set straight. 334 00:14:03,914 --> 00:14:05,831 Thank you so much. 335 00:14:05,914 --> 00:14:08,206 Now listen to the penguins, kiddo. 336 00:14:08,289 --> 00:14:11,289 All right, Eggy, school's in session. 337 00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:14,081 [all grunting] 338 00:14:22,622 --> 00:14:24,122 And that was just to adjust 339 00:14:24,206 --> 00:14:25,914 our drinking fountain temperature. 340 00:14:25,997 --> 00:14:27,414 Yeah, the private has a sensitive beak. 341 00:14:27,497 --> 00:14:30,372 Oh, I can't believe you told him that. 342 00:14:30,456 --> 00:14:32,831 And a sensitive everything else. 343 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:36,122 Wow. That was amazing, sirs. 344 00:14:36,206 --> 00:14:38,956 Yes, the kind of amazing you only get 345 00:14:39,039 --> 00:14:41,747 with discipline, practice, being a penguin. 346 00:14:41,831 --> 00:14:45,914 Now I hope you've learned a valuable something-or-other. 347 00:14:45,997 --> 00:14:48,039 One question, wouldn't a direct assault 348 00:14:48,122 --> 00:14:50,247 take the enemy down faster? 349 00:14:50,331 --> 00:14:51,664 - Oh. - Eggy, no. 350 00:14:51,747 --> 00:14:54,456 [grunting] 351 00:14:56,331 --> 00:14:59,872 Sirs, mission accomplished again... 352 00:14:59,956 --> 00:15:01,914 - and faster. - How did you-- 353 00:15:01,997 --> 00:15:05,289 I learned everything from you, sirs. 354 00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:06,956 all: Oh. 355 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:08,914 No, not "oh." 356 00:15:08,997 --> 00:15:10,956 This is dangerous business, Eggy. 357 00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:13,122 I know. Isn't it great? 358 00:15:13,206 --> 00:15:14,706 Can I have some dynamite? 359 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:17,122 - Okay. [gagging] - Rico, no. 360 00:15:17,206 --> 00:15:19,247 [maniacal laughter] 361 00:15:19,331 --> 00:15:20,622 - Hey. - [explosion] 362 00:15:20,706 --> 00:15:22,956 I meant this is dangerous penguin business, 363 00:15:23,039 --> 00:15:25,247 and you are not ready, period... 364 00:15:25,331 --> 00:15:27,289 or possibly exclamation point. 365 00:15:27,372 --> 00:15:29,122 Kowalski, punctuation options. 366 00:15:29,206 --> 00:15:31,831 I suggest the Spanish inverted. 367 00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:33,289 Muy fuerte. 368 00:15:33,372 --> 00:15:36,289 But you saw my commando skills. 369 00:15:36,372 --> 00:15:38,831 How can you say I'm not ready, sir? 370 00:15:38,914 --> 00:15:42,206 Well, because... 371 00:15:42,289 --> 00:15:44,747 because you don't have this. 372 00:15:44,831 --> 00:15:46,622 A subway fare card? [grunts] 373 00:15:46,706 --> 00:15:48,206 A license. 374 00:15:48,289 --> 00:15:50,664 An official penguin commando license. 375 00:15:50,747 --> 00:15:52,831 No, no, I'm quite sure that's a metro card. 376 00:15:52,914 --> 00:15:54,331 I can see the logo right-- oh! 377 00:15:54,414 --> 00:15:56,831 I didn't know I needed a license. 378 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,872 Of course. We've all got ours. 379 00:15:58,956 --> 00:16:00,539 - Oh, absolutely. - [gagging] 380 00:16:00,622 --> 00:16:01,831 Really? 381 00:16:01,914 --> 00:16:03,497 I don't have a-- [grunts] 382 00:16:03,581 --> 00:16:05,581 Oh, yes. 383 00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:07,497 Penguin commando license. 384 00:16:07,581 --> 00:16:08,914 Very important. 385 00:16:08,997 --> 00:16:11,039 And I'm winking to indicate that. 386 00:16:11,122 --> 00:16:13,164 And they don't come easy either. 387 00:16:13,247 --> 00:16:14,831 You've got to prove you can tackle everything 388 00:16:14,914 --> 00:16:16,164 this zoo throws at you. 389 00:16:16,247 --> 00:16:17,164 Have you proven that, Eggy? 390 00:16:17,247 --> 00:16:19,122 [gasps] Uh-uh. 391 00:16:19,206 --> 00:16:21,664 Then I really don't think you're ready for this. 392 00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,081 But-- [sighs] 393 00:16:23,164 --> 00:16:24,831 You're right, sir. 394 00:16:24,914 --> 00:16:26,914 Private Eggy requesting permission 395 00:16:26,997 --> 00:16:29,206 to reapply when I'm ready. 396 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:32,414 Permission granted, you precocious ragamuffin. 397 00:16:34,164 --> 00:16:37,122 Well, I'd call that mission accomplished. 398 00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,122 So what do we do with the rest of our day? 399 00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:40,914 Ooh, we could get temporary tattoos 400 00:16:40,997 --> 00:16:43,206 with motorcycle club nicknames. 401 00:16:43,289 --> 00:16:45,039 [mimicking revving engine] 402 00:16:45,122 --> 00:16:47,206 I'll be "Bobby Thunderskull." 403 00:16:47,289 --> 00:16:48,872 All in favor of private's 404 00:16:48,956 --> 00:16:50,872 tattoos and nicknames plan, say-- 405 00:16:50,956 --> 00:16:51,914 [screaming] 406 00:16:51,997 --> 00:16:54,622 [screaming] 407 00:16:54,706 --> 00:16:58,872 Oh, we should probably do something about that. 408 00:16:58,956 --> 00:17:00,539 Fallen lemur, what happened? 409 00:17:00,622 --> 00:17:01,872 I don't know. 410 00:17:01,956 --> 00:17:04,039 Something came flying out of nowhere, and wham. 411 00:17:04,122 --> 00:17:05,622 I'm flat on my butt. 412 00:17:05,706 --> 00:17:08,664 And I am left to apply my own eye vegetables, 413 00:17:08,747 --> 00:17:10,622 which is the real tragedy. 414 00:17:10,706 --> 00:17:12,331 Mort, weep for me. 415 00:17:12,414 --> 00:17:15,081 My eyes are exhausted from all the cucumbering. 416 00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:18,789 [grunting] 417 00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:21,831 My eye vegetables are burny. 418 00:17:21,914 --> 00:17:24,372 Can you give us any details on your attacker? 419 00:17:24,456 --> 00:17:26,622 I didn't see him, but it sounded kind of like... 420 00:17:26,706 --> 00:17:28,039 a kid. 421 00:17:28,122 --> 00:17:30,539 - [yelling] - [all grunting] 422 00:17:30,622 --> 00:17:31,706 Ouchies. 423 00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:33,122 Victory from above. 424 00:17:33,206 --> 00:17:34,247 - Whoa there. - Got ya. 425 00:17:34,331 --> 00:17:36,081 Eggy, what are you doing? 426 00:17:36,164 --> 00:17:37,247 Huh, Eggy? 427 00:17:37,331 --> 00:17:39,914 You mean this is my J.J., 428 00:17:39,997 --> 00:17:42,081 who I raised as a little lemur egg 429 00:17:42,164 --> 00:17:44,081 to be a mighty lemur prince? 430 00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:45,414 ♪ Me and my J.J. ♪ 431 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:46,997 ♪ With me he will stay ♪ 432 00:17:47,081 --> 00:17:48,247 ♪ And then we ♪ 433 00:17:48,331 --> 00:17:50,497 Great, now that's in my head all day. 434 00:17:50,581 --> 00:17:52,956 Sirs, you said I had to prove 435 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:55,456 I could tackle everything in the zoo. 436 00:17:55,539 --> 00:17:59,622 By my count, that's two animals tackled already. 437 00:17:59,706 --> 00:18:01,997 I could get my license by sundown. 438 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,539 Yeah, looks like-- what? 439 00:18:05,289 --> 00:18:08,081 We live by a code of honor, sir. 440 00:18:08,164 --> 00:18:11,289 And you promised. 441 00:18:11,372 --> 00:18:13,372 - Hooah. - Don't, Eggy. 442 00:18:13,456 --> 00:18:15,039 This won't prove anything. 443 00:18:15,122 --> 00:18:16,872 Of course it will. 444 00:18:16,956 --> 00:18:18,872 Go, J.J. Do it. 445 00:18:18,956 --> 00:18:20,872 [grunting] 446 00:18:20,956 --> 00:18:23,122 Hold on. This may be perfect. 447 00:18:23,206 --> 00:18:24,789 But that's the elephant habitat. 448 00:18:24,872 --> 00:18:26,247 Exactamente. 449 00:18:26,331 --> 00:18:28,622 One-on-one with the world's largest land mammal. 450 00:18:28,706 --> 00:18:31,622 Why I'd have trouble taking big grey down myself. 451 00:18:31,706 --> 00:18:34,331 Probably have to pull out my signature moves. 452 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,122 Start with the tangiers trunk swing, 453 00:18:36,206 --> 00:18:38,164 then a kyoto tail whip 454 00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:41,414 into a pair of marrakesh kneecappers. 455 00:18:41,497 --> 00:18:43,289 Ha-sha. 456 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,789 Wait a minute, why are you all staring behind me 457 00:18:45,872 --> 00:18:50,497 as if fixated on something I'm heretofore oblivious to? 458 00:18:50,581 --> 00:18:51,622 [grunting] 459 00:18:54,747 --> 00:18:57,956 But those were my signature moves. 460 00:18:58,039 --> 00:19:00,831 - My signature. - Oh, dear golly. 461 00:19:00,914 --> 00:19:03,331 Eggy said he learned everything from us. 462 00:19:03,414 --> 00:19:05,831 That may be more true than we realized. 463 00:19:05,914 --> 00:19:09,289 The egg state is a time of intense knowledge absorption. 464 00:19:09,372 --> 00:19:11,664 If each of us gave him our best training, 465 00:19:11,747 --> 00:19:16,039 then Eggy must possess all of our strengths combined. 466 00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,372 Uh, what? 467 00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:20,289 He's an unstoppable commando machine. 468 00:19:20,372 --> 00:19:22,872 See? Now, that's a helpful flashback. 469 00:19:22,956 --> 00:19:24,372 Follow that duckling. 470 00:19:27,914 --> 00:19:30,039 All right. Banana. 471 00:19:30,122 --> 00:19:32,497 Yo, I'm totally gonna grab that. 472 00:19:37,122 --> 00:19:39,289 [both grunting] 473 00:19:39,372 --> 00:19:41,747 He's got my knowledge of physics. 474 00:19:41,831 --> 00:19:43,497 Ah, a bad boy, eh? 475 00:19:43,581 --> 00:19:46,164 Maybe joey needs to give you a proper spanking. 476 00:19:47,289 --> 00:19:49,497 [both grunting] 477 00:19:49,581 --> 00:19:51,581 He's got Rico's psychotic instinct. 478 00:19:54,706 --> 00:19:56,456 [adopts British accent] Beg your pardon, miss. 479 00:19:56,539 --> 00:19:58,831 Might I trouble you to lean down a spot? 480 00:19:58,914 --> 00:20:00,789 Of course, you adorable-- 481 00:20:00,872 --> 00:20:01,831 [both grunting] 482 00:20:01,914 --> 00:20:03,289 Cheerio. 483 00:20:03,372 --> 00:20:05,914 He's putting on an adorably phony British accent. 484 00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:07,622 Just like the private. 485 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:08,581 Phony? 486 00:20:08,664 --> 00:20:10,039 This is how I really talk. 487 00:20:10,122 --> 00:20:12,247 Sure it is, gov'na. 488 00:20:13,747 --> 00:20:15,914 Chameleons. 489 00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:17,414 Rhino. 490 00:20:17,497 --> 00:20:19,372 - [screaming] - Flamingo. 491 00:20:19,456 --> 00:20:22,581 Over 92.7% of the zoo has already gone down. 492 00:20:22,664 --> 00:20:24,539 Don't give me statistics, man. 493 00:20:24,622 --> 00:20:26,206 Tell me who isn't down. 494 00:20:26,289 --> 00:20:27,831 Well, there's the four of us. 495 00:20:27,914 --> 00:20:29,164 [both grunting] 496 00:20:29,247 --> 00:20:30,581 - Three of us. - [both grunting] 497 00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,331 - Two of us. - [both grunting] 498 00:20:32,414 --> 00:20:35,247 - Okay, that leaves just-- - [both grunting] 499 00:20:35,331 --> 00:20:36,456 Right. 500 00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,539 Then the only zoo animal left is... 501 00:20:38,622 --> 00:20:40,247 oh, boy. 502 00:20:40,331 --> 00:20:42,622 Hey Maurice, check out my new shirt. 503 00:20:42,706 --> 00:20:44,372 I don't usually wear one, I know, 504 00:20:44,456 --> 00:20:46,289 but these circles are pretty sweet, eh? 505 00:20:46,372 --> 00:20:47,831 Ringtail, focus. 506 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,081 We need your help. 507 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:51,622 And why would I help you to not prove 508 00:20:51,706 --> 00:20:54,414 that my J.J. is the bestest tackler? 509 00:20:54,497 --> 00:20:56,581 If Eggy thinks he has a commando license, 510 00:20:56,664 --> 00:20:59,622 who knows what kind of danger he'll throw himself into? 511 00:20:59,706 --> 00:21:02,247 Plus, we'll have to actually make licenses. 512 00:21:02,331 --> 00:21:04,872 This isn't just about tackling. 513 00:21:04,956 --> 00:21:06,247 [all gasp] 514 00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:07,456 Excelante. 515 00:21:07,539 --> 00:21:10,622 Come on, commando license. 516 00:21:10,706 --> 00:21:13,872 I want to fight some ninjas in a chainsaw factory. 517 00:21:13,956 --> 00:21:15,122 [maniacal laughter] 518 00:21:15,206 --> 00:21:17,956 You know, that does sound slightly unsafe. 519 00:21:18,039 --> 00:21:18,956 Ringtail, run. 520 00:21:19,039 --> 00:21:21,997 [stammering] 521 00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:23,164 It's too late. 522 00:21:23,247 --> 00:21:24,664 Eggy's locked on. 523 00:21:24,747 --> 00:21:27,122 Well, at least this proves our training is effective. 524 00:21:27,206 --> 00:21:30,164 That duck is going to make one heck of a penguin. 525 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:31,497 What? 526 00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:35,039 My J.J. wants to be a penguin? 527 00:21:35,122 --> 00:21:38,914 Have you not seen what this kingly booty can do? 528 00:21:40,539 --> 00:21:42,081 Five, six, seven, eight. 529 00:21:42,164 --> 00:21:43,331 [upbeat dance music] 530 00:21:43,414 --> 00:21:45,581 [both grunting] 531 00:21:47,456 --> 00:21:49,581 How do you like that low there? 532 00:21:49,664 --> 00:21:50,997 Wow. 533 00:21:51,081 --> 00:21:52,872 Julien's actually doing it. 534 00:21:52,956 --> 00:21:55,872 Eggy can't tackle everything in this zoo after all. 535 00:21:55,956 --> 00:21:57,997 Can't... tackle... 536 00:21:58,081 --> 00:22:01,997 [panting] 537 00:22:02,081 --> 00:22:05,039 You, sir, are the greatest... 538 00:22:05,122 --> 00:22:06,956 of all animals. 539 00:22:08,206 --> 00:22:11,789 But you can be the second-greatest. 540 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:15,831 Come, let us begin your booty shaking training. 541 00:22:15,914 --> 00:22:18,331 Ooh, dancing. 542 00:22:18,414 --> 00:22:19,997 Why, that's not dangerous at all. 543 00:22:20,081 --> 00:22:21,997 You cured my baby. 544 00:22:22,081 --> 00:22:24,039 Yes, we can definitely state that your child 545 00:22:24,122 --> 00:22:26,331 no longer wants to be a penguin, 546 00:22:26,414 --> 00:22:28,831 and may the world forgive us. 547 00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,289 Okay, little dancer, time to go home. 548 00:22:31,372 --> 00:22:32,872 Say thank you to the nice penguins. 549 00:22:32,956 --> 00:22:34,831 [mimicking King Julien] Thanking you very muchly, 550 00:22:34,914 --> 00:22:36,081 silly penguins. 551 00:22:36,164 --> 00:22:37,372 [laughs] 552 00:22:37,456 --> 00:22:40,164 Yes, that is my J.J.! 553 00:22:40,247 --> 00:22:43,122 Rico, cover our shame. 554 00:22:43,206 --> 00:22:44,372 - [gagging] - [smoke hissing]