[bell tolls]
[brassy detective music]
[music continues]
Hit it. ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪
- ♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪ - Yeah.
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
[brassy detective music]
[camera shutter clicks]
Cute and cuddly, boys.
Easy, Kowalski, easy.
You don't want this stuff going kaput.
Ahh! A shoe.
I need a shoe.
A shoe, shoe. Give me a shoe.
Private, we go barefoot.
- You know that. - A shoe!
Okay, hold on.
Uh-uh.
No, those won't do at all.
No, no time.
Fire in the hole.
- [loud explosion] - Private,
before you unleash another fireball of destruction,
tell me, just what are you shooting at?
Him!
Bro, that was bro-tacular.
See, a filthy cockroach has infiltrated our lair.
Eww, it gives me the willies.
Oh, it's not just one.
'Sup up, bro-tunda?
Ahh!
Not roaches, dude, broaches.
Ahh!
They're everywhere,
spreading disease and pestilence...
[together] Yay! Whoo! Rico!
They're playing with Rico?
Rico's our bro, bro.
- Hi. - Rico.
You know these tiny pests?
Um, uh-huh.
Check it, we were just bro-ing out behind our dumpster.
But then there was this major bro-motion.
We were all, "Scatter, it's the bro-lice."
But it was the Rico bro-rito.
And bro jam's been partying every night since.
Partying till dawn with bro pants on.
A-whoo.
[upbeat funky music]
Partying till dawn, eh?
Eh, heh, heh-heh... ohh.
It does explain the chronic sleepiness.
[screaming]
[snoring]
Rico, this dereliction of duty calls for severe punishment.
I'm moving you to red.
Ohh.
All right, yellow.
But I've got my eye on you, mister.
No more late-night escapades, hmm?
Right, we don't need you bad influences here.
Away you go, purveyors of pestilence.
Now, hold on, Private.
We can't hold these tiny men accountable for Rico's behavior.
We can't? Eeee!
Heck, no.
Anyone who can survive a nuclear apocalypse
is A-okay in my book.
You... like cockroaches?
Who doesn't?
A cockroach can live without a head
for up to seven days,
but I think we can beat those numbers.
Who's up for some experimenting, huh?
Scatter!
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
I'm all alone in a world gone mad.
Where's our manners? Kowalski,
pop open a can of trash for our guests.
Thanks, broza, but we didn't come for eats.
I did.
Okay, he did.
The rest of us came for bro-ssistance.
Yeah, this exterminator is trying to give us
the old heave-bro.
I've always wanted to grapple with an exterminator.
Exterminator...
ooh, it just sounds dangerous.
All right, you little creeps, we're in.
[burps]
Bro-hemian.
Oh, you want to make this a bro-down?
[burps]
Would you fellows mind playing another less pungent game?
[inhaling]
[burps]
Doh!
Man overboard, Kowalski.
I'm on it.
[tires screeching]
Dohh!
Man under car, Kowalski.
- Testing! - Ah-oom-augh-ah-ahh!
Microphone is on line.
Also, my eardrums are bleeding.
Well, there's no way the exterminator
is gonna get the jump on us
with our technological superiority.
So, bro-fessor, what now?
What we have here is a good old-fashioned stakeout:
hours of mind-numbing boredom
followed by a few precious moments of soul-rending terror.
We wait.
[clock ticking]
So...20 questions?
Shoot.
- Person, place, or thing? - Thing.
Is it bigger than a bread box?
Yes... and no.
Deal 'em, bro-meo.
[all groaning]
Oops.
[clock ticking]
Is it battery-powered?
Yes... and no.
Oh, wait!
Dude, quit shaking the bro-cuzzi.
Ooh... glah.
[clock ticking]
Has it ever been on the moon?
Yes... and no.
Oh, come on!
You've got to give me something!
Yes, I do... and no, I don't.
[tires screeching]
Action stations.
It's showtime.
[door squeaks open]
Pizza deliv... wha?
Ah, for the love of...
Oof!
Who ordered the pizza?
Um... heh-heh.
All-nighters make us bro-daciously hungry, so...
Fine, get rid of the evidence, and let's eat.
By the way, Kowalski, it was the spirit of adventure.
Oh, I almost guessed that.
Ewwww.
[clock ticking]
We had a date with destiny.
Destiny broke our hearts.
Well, boys, looks like this exterminator is a no-show.
You mean bro-show.
Out of linguistic curiosity,
what do you call your actual brother?
Steve. Why?
Never mind.
Oh, gee, I can't believe we have to say good-bye
to this vermin-infested filth trap.
You can visit our bro hall at any time you want, bro.
Oh, uh, thanks... bro.
Wait a minute, Skipper.
I think I hear a--
Evasive action.
Scatter!
There's something strangely familiar about that man.
Napoleon's buttons.
- Wuh-oh. - It's Officer X.
Now known as... Exterminator X.
The grapple dream lives. [laughs sinisterly]
You don't suppose he's forgotten about us, do you?
[sniffing]
I smell something,
something I haven't smelled since...
penguins!
[gulps] Guess not.
Make for the exits. Go! Go! Go!
[clang]
You birds cost me my job at animal control,
so oh, yeah, it's payback time.
Let's go with the "harder they fall" maneuver...
on three.
The "three" will be silent, so heads up.
One, two... uh?
Argh!
Ergh! Oh!
Hoo-ah!
Grapple accomplished.
Up high, men.
[grunting]
what the deuce?
Skipper!
Run for it, Private.
Save yourself, kid.
Gah, gah, what do I do?
What do I do?
Augggh!
[all shuddering]
I've been carrying this around, waiting,
because I knew...
ohh, I knew I'd see you penguins again.
Everyone thought I was crazy blaming penguins.
"Oh, penguins are cute and cuddly."
"Oh, no, they're not."
"Oh, yes, they are."
"No, you don't know 'em the way I know 'em.
They've got devious brains."
Think, Private, think.
Dude, you bro-kay?
Gaah!
Bro, seriously, shut it.
That dude is gonna go bro-magnon on us.
All right, all right, all right.
Shh, let's think bro-actively.
Bro-actively?
I'm not even sure what that means.
What can one little penguin and three little broaches do
against a batty exterminator?
There aren't just three of us, bro-master.
[whistles]
Ohh...
Oh, goo... goodness.
All right, I've got an idea,
a really, really horrible idea.
No, Private, this is no time for the willies.
Sometimes at night, I just lay awake
thinking about... penguins.
[rattling]
Nowhere to run now, punk.
Auuugh!
Ahh, penguins!
Hmm, amateur.
[sniffing]
[mumbles]
[roaches chirping]
[shudders]
Almost there. Swing.
[grunts]
We'll get it on the next one.
Ready... swing.
[grunting]
Oh, come on.
[grunting]
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay... who's got a new plan...
one that does not involve wall smacking?
Must have hit harder than I thought.
Wow.
Poached salmon, what is that?
Ugh, okay, boys, that should do it.
[shudders]
Excellent cover, Private, but given your squeamish nature,
how did you stand having all those creepy, crawly roaches
all over you with their hairy, disease-riddled legs,
and their mucus-laden mandibles
and their steely, cold exoskeletons
crawling all over you?
All part of the job, Skipper.
I knew you'd come back.
Rico, dart gun, please.
Now, boys, as we discussed.
[cockroaches chirping]
What... What is that?
Where'd they go?
Where are the penguins?
You got me, bro-berry.
'Sup, bro-mosapien?
They're in my company-issued slacks.
Welcome to the bro-deo.
[screams] Icky, ick, ick, ick!
Ohh, get 'em off.
Get 'em off me.
Well done, Private.
Thank you, Skipper, and now, if you'll excuse me,
it's time for the willies.
Ahh! Augh! Ohh-ohh!
[upbeat jazzy music]
Hey, where are the penguins?
Go, go.
Ugh!
Ohh.
Well done, men.
Prepare to enjoy warm,
twisted deliciousness.
No way.
[all whistling]
That is going in my zoo report.
He's on to us, boys.
He saw everything,
and he's documenting it all in that dossier.
We've got us a spy.
Skipper, this could be an excellent opportunity
to fire up my new brainwashing machine.
Uh-uh.
Yoink.
Too soon.
In the game of espionage,
mind manipulation and wedgies are a last resort.
Ohh.
Why don't we just go fetch the notebook?
Private, don't you think I could have extracted it
while you were saying that sentence?
I suppose.
I could have done it while you were saying that sentence,
and it was only two words.
And one of them was "I."
He's a small fry, Private.
We want the big fish.
Fish.
Exactamundo, Rico.
Where there's a spy, there's a spymaster,
and this little operative is gonna lead us there.
Gentlemen, commence operation.
Hey, where'd he go?
Copy that.
What? No, that wasn't the name of--
Skipper, he dropped this.
Junior has intel on Madagascar.
How long has he been following us?
Madagascar.
Did somebody mention my home, sweet homeland?
Hey, that's my royal booty scratcher.
Oh, how I've missed you.
I have an itch that won't quit,
which is itching even more now that I have been reminded
of its nonquitting itchiness.
Wait, my brain has an idea.
You penguins could go on one of your secretly missions
to get back my royal booty scratcher.
No dice, ringtail.
We're in the middle of a real mission
with a little more at stake than your royal rump.
Oh, la-di-da.
"I'm a penguin on a mission.
I'm better than you."
well, my brain now thinks we lemurs
also too can have a mission:
operation booty-scooty-rooty-looty.
Oh, it's rhymey.
Yes, I was going for that.
Come, Maurice, we are going beneath cover.
You mean, undercover?
[sighs]
We shall make like those that are beneath us.
Wormies.
Penguins.
Yay!
What? Why are you yaying?
You were wrong.
You were right. Yay.
Uh... okay.
Maurice, on our penguiny team,
you will be the maniac one.
Mort will be the bossy one.
Yay!
I mean, do this. Do that.
[laughs]
Don't tell me what to do, Mort.
I am your king, who naturally will be the cute one.
Look at me.
Hmm, now, where are we going to find
the brainy one?
Say something... sciencey.
Sciencey?
Is that even a word?
Is that... ooh, you stumped me.
We found our genius.
I've got a visual, Skipper.
Subject approaching sector salty.
And he returns to the scene,
just as I expected.
Hold position.
You really don't have any pretzels?
That's because the penguins stole them all, Mrs. Trevor.
Skipper, I can grab the notebook.
Not yet, Private.
This is just getting interesting.
Ohh.
I'm not making this one up.
Look, see?
One of the penguins just flew by.
Penguins don't fly, Ronald.
Now, take your notebook and go write down
some real observations for your field trip report.
Sending him out on more recon, eh?
Well, five can play at that game.
Ahh, my itching isn't quitting just standing here.
Give us orders, bossy one.
That would be you.
What should I order?
Pizza or Chinese.
I'm easy.
Get the smart one to tell us where the heck is this building.
Yeah, what he said.
Uh, isn't the smart one
supposed to whip out a map or something?
I think we can cover all the spy's movements
if we place cameras here, here, here, here, and here.
That's pretty ambitious, Kowalski,
considering he's right here.
Skipper, the notebook.
At the moment, Private,
I'm more interested in the elephant.
Uh... part two.
This conspiracy is even bigger than I imagined
in my wildest paranoid dreams.
Yep, he's told me some of them.
They're pretty wild.
[laughs] Okay, here--
Oh!
Huh?
- what have you told him? - Who?
The spook, the sneak, the spy.
The who?
Coy, are you, now?
Rico, why don't you hustle up some elephant-sized underpants?
Prepare to go atomic.
[cackles]
Oh, so now you're ready to talk.
Ah!
Dude.
Wedgie.
Ahh.
Okay, maybe now it's time to get that notebook.
Hmm, does look familiar.
That's because--
Bossy one, tell maniac one
he should only speak in stupid grunts, not words.
what he said... again.
[blabbering]
I think your dog wants something.
What is it, boy?
Yep, definitely seen that somewhere before.
They're after me.
They're after me!
Come on, now, it's time to go to our next stop.
[sighs]
[together] yay! Whoo-hoo!
Ah, lost 'em.
That's my report.
Oh, this is a-plus material.
Now, for our next challenge, how do we get inside?
How about that thing that looks like a door?
It might be a door.
Stupendous braininess, smart one.
[all grunting]
[all blabbering]
Ahh! Ooh! Augh! Ohh!
Ohh, very clever, smart one.
Doing the penguin slippery slide, eh?
Whee! I'm speeding!
Geh!
[gasps] They're here.
[gasps]
[squeaking noise]
[gasps]
Eh!
Ow.
We need to retrieve that dossier, boys.
This spy is wild,
but we've got something he doesn't.
High-tension wire, a good old harness,
and a grabby claw?
I was gonna say teamwork,
but bring those other things too.
I am questioning your leadershipiness now.
Oh, I can't take the pressure.
Maniac one, vomit something useful.
You want me to do what?
I-I mean...
[blabbering]
You know, hawk, spew, blow chunkies,
laugh at the carpet, rainbow yawn,
yell at your shoes.
I don't care what you do,
but give me something useful from your gut.
Mm... bleh!
[footsteps tapping]
Abort! Abort!
Huh?
There you are, Ronald.
You can't just wander off from the group.
[sighs]
What did we talk about, Ronald?
That is for observations,
not your wild make-believe stories.
But Mrs. Trevor, these are observations.
It's those penguins from the zoo.
First it was the pretzels. Now they're after me.
They're up in that vent watching us right now.
I think they want to give me a wedgie.
Ronald, do you know how stressful
a field trip is on a teacher?
Very.
Hey.
Want it. I want it.
I've got to have it.
What are you doing, man?
If they see you,
it will compromise our entire mission.
Oh, your mission.
Let me tell you something, mister.
My mission is much more important
than your mission.
This itch is epically nonquitting, and...
[blabbering]
Pipe down.
We'll get your butt scratcher.
They're good.
[all gasping]
Mm?
Mrs. Trevor. Mrs. Trevor, look.
The penguins are right there pretending to be a totem...
[footsteps tapping]
Pole.
Honestly, Ronald, stop.
Just stop.
There never have been nor will there ever be
any penguins in Madagascar.
But the wedgies.
Here, stick to what you're good at.
I would slay you with a cutting remark, sir,
if I didn't have more important matters.
What are you doing?
I am the leader.
I will scratch the king's booty.
- But-- - No buts...
except your itchy one.
Um, yeah, regarding our mission...
Our mark has left the building.
Skipper, look.
Oh, yes, get it.
Oh, you're the best.
Oh, bossing's so nice.
Penguin commandos...
[laughs] How ridiculous.
You didn't see anything.
Heh?