1
00:00:03,331 --> 00:00:04,748
[bell tolls]

2
00:00:04,831 --> 00:00:07,748
[brassy detective music]

3
00:00:07,831 --> 00:00:15,039
♪ ♪

4
00:00:22,748 --> 00:00:25,081
- Hit it.
- ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪

5
00:00:25,164 --> 00:00:27,289
- ♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪
- Yeah.

6
00:00:27,373 --> 00:00:29,706
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪
- ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪

7
00:00:36,539 --> 00:00:37,789
[camera shutter clicks]

8
00:00:37,873 --> 00:00:40,081
Cute and cuddly, boys.

9
00:00:43,831 --> 00:00:46,623
[dramatic instrumental music]

10
00:00:46,706 --> 00:00:53,039
♪ ♪

11
00:00:53,123 --> 00:00:56,206
[birds chirping]

12
00:00:56,289 --> 00:01:00,289
Ah, nothing like
an old-fashioned Sunday drive.

13
00:01:00,373 --> 00:01:01,331
Eh, Private?

14
00:01:01,414 --> 00:01:02,789
Blow darts.
Hard left.

15
00:01:02,873 --> 00:01:04,206
Daah!

16
00:01:05,748 --> 00:01:07,581
Aw, man.

17
00:01:07,664 --> 00:01:08,581
[screams]

18
00:01:08,664 --> 00:01:09,998
[whimpering]

19
00:01:10,914 --> 00:01:12,581
Oh, no.

20
00:01:12,664 --> 00:01:15,414
[muttering]

21
00:01:16,956 --> 00:01:18,373
Yeow!

22
00:01:18,456 --> 00:01:20,414
Excellent reaction time, Private.

23
00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:23,581
You're really getting the hang
of this combat driving course.

24
00:01:23,664 --> 00:01:25,373
Mind the chain saw.

25
00:01:25,456 --> 00:01:26,873
[screams]

26
00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,498
[tires screech]

27
00:01:28,581 --> 00:01:29,914
[tires squeal]

28
00:01:31,914 --> 00:01:32,873
My baby.

29
00:01:32,956 --> 00:01:34,164
Aah!

30
00:01:34,248 --> 00:01:35,748
Someone please save my baby.

31
00:01:35,831 --> 00:01:37,248
Wha?

32
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,664
Think fast, Private.
That ain't no baby.

33
00:01:39,748 --> 00:01:40,664
[beeping]

34
00:01:40,748 --> 00:01:41,914
Aah!

35
00:01:41,998 --> 00:01:43,748
Oh, baby.

36
00:01:43,831 --> 00:01:45,581
Just feel the road.

37
00:01:45,664 --> 00:01:48,664
There you guys are.

38
00:01:48,748 --> 00:01:50,039
Evasive.

39
00:01:50,123 --> 00:01:51,248
[tires screech]

40
00:01:51,331 --> 00:01:53,581
[crash]

41
00:01:53,664 --> 00:01:55,331
Not bad, Private.

42
00:01:55,414 --> 00:01:57,498
But had that been
a decoy elephant foot

43
00:01:57,581 --> 00:01:59,039
loaded with TNT,

44
00:01:59,123 --> 00:02:01,539
you and I wouldn't be having
this conversation.

45
00:02:01,623 --> 00:02:04,289
Is--is that likely
to happen often, Skipper?

46
00:02:04,373 --> 00:02:06,706
Well, why don't we ask
Manfredi and Johnson?

47
00:02:06,789 --> 00:02:08,331
Oh, we can't...

48
00:02:08,414 --> 00:02:11,206
'cause they fell for the old
exploding elephant foot.

49
00:02:11,289 --> 00:02:14,039
So what's the trouble,
long trunks?

50
00:02:14,123 --> 00:02:15,706
You guys got to help me.

51
00:02:15,789 --> 00:02:19,539
I got to get out of the zoo
and across town today.

52
00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:21,039
Ooh, a breakout.

53
00:02:21,123 --> 00:02:23,081
Mm, complicated
by cross-town transport

54
00:02:23,164 --> 00:02:24,914
of the largest living
land mammal.

55
00:02:24,998 --> 00:02:27,123
That's a tall order
on short notice,

56
00:02:27,206 --> 00:02:28,581
my ginormous friend.

57
00:02:28,664 --> 00:02:30,039
Why the urgency?

58
00:02:30,123 --> 00:02:34,373
Let's just say
an elephant never forgets.

59
00:02:34,456 --> 00:02:36,998
Uh...
[muttering]

60
00:02:37,081 --> 00:02:39,498
Ooh, dark
and sinister sounding

61
00:02:39,581 --> 00:02:42,081
with a classic
pachyderm cliché.

62
00:02:42,164 --> 00:02:45,081
Big man, you play me
like a fiddle.

63
00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:47,498
Our first obstacle is Alice.

64
00:02:47,581 --> 00:02:50,748
We'll have to keep her too busy
to notice jumbo's exodus.

65
00:02:50,831 --> 00:02:54,081
Perhaps some sort
of large mess to clean.

66
00:02:54,164 --> 00:02:55,914
But what would be
the ideal location

67
00:02:55,998 --> 00:02:57,664
for maximum filthy-osity?

68
00:02:59,164 --> 00:03:00,831
The public restrooms.
Of course.

69
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:03,581
All we need is one
strategically placed stink bomb.

70
00:03:03,664 --> 00:03:05,331
Organic or chemical?

71
00:03:05,414 --> 00:03:07,289
Well, let's go green
on this one.

72
00:03:07,373 --> 00:03:09,123
Big gray, what did you eat
for breakfast?

73
00:03:09,206 --> 00:03:10,748
Big broccoli
and cabbage burrito.

74
00:03:10,831 --> 00:03:11,914
Why?

75
00:03:11,998 --> 00:03:13,706
Perfecto.

76
00:03:13,789 --> 00:03:15,914
♪ La-da, da, da-da ♪

77
00:03:15,998 --> 00:03:19,123
[groaning]

78
00:03:19,206 --> 00:03:21,539
What in the world?

79
00:03:23,456 --> 00:03:25,956
[screams]

80
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,123
Excellent craftsmanship.

81
00:03:28,206 --> 00:03:31,414
Ah, the burrito
did most of the work.

82
00:03:35,164 --> 00:03:36,373
I don't know.

83
00:03:36,456 --> 00:03:38,831
It doesn't really look
like me.

84
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,748
Wait for it.

85
00:03:42,706 --> 00:03:44,123
Wow!

86
00:03:44,206 --> 00:03:45,873
It's like looking in a mirror.

87
00:03:45,956 --> 00:03:49,498
Private, where are we
on the elefante camouflage?

88
00:03:49,581 --> 00:03:51,831
Ready for Burt's fittings, Skipper.

89
00:03:51,914 --> 00:03:55,414
Now remember, if anyone asks,
your name is

90
00:03:55,498 --> 00:03:58,498
Frosty fun times ice cream truck
number 26.

91
00:03:58,581 --> 00:04:00,498
You were trained
as a laundry service vehicle,

92
00:04:00,581 --> 00:04:02,498
but on your 18th birthday,
you decided

93
00:04:02,581 --> 00:04:05,123
to follow your dream
and never look back.

94
00:04:05,206 --> 00:04:07,331
Why would anyone
ask a truck about--

95
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,248
Don't confuse the man
with questions, Private.

96
00:04:10,331 --> 00:04:12,331
It's a very complicated alias.

97
00:04:12,414 --> 00:04:14,581
Frosty fun times.
Got it.

98
00:04:14,664 --> 00:04:15,664
Ready to go.

99
00:04:15,748 --> 00:04:18,123
Right.
Now, slow and steady.

100
00:04:18,206 --> 00:04:19,789
We don't want anyone getting...

101
00:04:19,873 --> 00:04:21,039
suspicious.

102
00:04:21,123 --> 00:04:22,289
Steady.

103
00:04:22,373 --> 00:04:23,581
You're doing great, Burt.

104
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,206
I mean, Frosty.

105
00:04:26,289 --> 00:04:28,081
[sniffing]
Skipper.

106
00:04:28,164 --> 00:04:30,998
I am detecting a growing scent
of pine and lemony freshness.

107
00:04:31,081 --> 00:04:32,373
[sniffing]

108
00:04:32,456 --> 00:04:34,581
Sweet Santa's sweat glands.

109
00:04:34,664 --> 00:04:36,456
That restroom's
nearly shipshape.

110
00:04:36,539 --> 00:04:37,831
We got to move out.
Right now!

111
00:04:37,914 --> 00:04:40,081
- Ice cream!
- Ice cream man!

112
00:04:42,039 --> 00:04:43,081
Okay.

113
00:04:43,164 --> 00:04:44,539
Um...

114
00:04:44,623 --> 00:04:45,539
okay, okay.

115
00:04:45,623 --> 00:04:47,498
I want three fudgie budgies

116
00:04:47,581 --> 00:04:49,664
and one of those bars
shaped like a president.

117
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:50,998
Uh...

118
00:04:51,081 --> 00:04:52,123
Melon Fillmore.

119
00:04:52,206 --> 00:04:53,414
No, no, wait.

120
00:04:53,498 --> 00:04:55,581
Make it
a Rutherford B. Hazelnut.

121
00:04:55,664 --> 00:04:57,539
- I want ice cream.
- Give me, give me, give me.

122
00:04:57,623 --> 00:05:01,081
Ringtail, we're engaged
in covert operations here.

123
00:05:01,164 --> 00:05:02,914
And I am engaged in somebody

124
00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:06,498
who's clearly not understanding
customer service.

125
00:05:06,581 --> 00:05:09,998
Mort, teach Mr. Icy Creamy
some manners.

126
00:05:10,081 --> 00:05:10,998
Aah!

127
00:05:11,081 --> 00:05:12,414
Ooh.

128
00:05:12,498 --> 00:05:14,248
Nyaah!

129
00:05:14,331 --> 00:05:15,748
[whimpers]

130
00:05:16,873 --> 00:05:19,039
Ah, finally.

131
00:05:19,123 --> 00:05:20,081
The final flush.

132
00:05:20,164 --> 00:05:21,248
She's done.

133
00:05:21,331 --> 00:05:22,414
Cover is blown.

134
00:05:22,498 --> 00:05:23,748
Abort, men. Abort.

135
00:05:23,831 --> 00:05:27,331
No.
We don't abort for nothing.

136
00:05:28,248 --> 00:05:29,748
Whoa!

137
00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:31,164
Let's ride.

138
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,206
Hyow.

139
00:05:35,956 --> 00:05:37,331
All clear.

140
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:40,956
Gee, thanks, guys.

141
00:05:41,039 --> 00:05:44,373
We're always happy to help out
a suspiciously vague cause.

142
00:05:44,456 --> 00:05:48,081
Huh, and remember,
I owe you one now,

143
00:05:48,164 --> 00:05:50,706
and an elephant never forgets!

144
00:05:54,248 --> 00:05:55,331
Hmm.

145
00:05:55,414 --> 00:05:56,873
I think I'd like to throw

146
00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,706
a few more hay bales
on that elephant decoy.

147
00:05:59,789 --> 00:06:01,914
I feel like I underpadded
the buttocks.

148
00:06:02,039 --> 00:06:03,581
Good call.

149
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:06,914
I've lost too many good men
to buttock inaccuracies.

150
00:06:06,998 --> 00:06:08,414
Let's move.

151
00:06:09,289 --> 00:06:11,956
Skipper.
I found something.

152
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,248
Ugh.

153
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,623
Huh?
Uh?

154
00:06:16,956 --> 00:06:20,914
Well, this is, uh, disturbing...

155
00:06:20,998 --> 00:06:21,956
to me.

156
00:06:22,039 --> 00:06:23,289
Anyone?

157
00:06:23,373 --> 00:06:24,998
I'm disturbed as well, Skipper.

158
00:06:25,081 --> 00:06:26,789
That boy with the kazoo.

159
00:06:26,873 --> 00:06:28,289
Could it be...

160
00:06:28,373 --> 00:06:30,373
the legendary Kid Kazoo?

161
00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:31,414
Kid Kazoo?

162
00:06:31,498 --> 00:06:33,664
You know, Kid Kazoo.

163
00:06:33,748 --> 00:06:36,164
The scourge
of the Central Park Zoo.

164
00:06:36,248 --> 00:06:38,414
Surely you must have heard
the tales.

165
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:41,539
He was a Sunday regular,
a real piece of work

166
00:06:41,623 --> 00:06:43,456
with a smile like a bear trap,

167
00:06:43,539 --> 00:06:45,998
a laugh like
a deranged birthday clown.

168
00:06:46,081 --> 00:06:48,581
[cackling]

169
00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:53,456
But the sickest thing
was that kazoo,

170
00:06:53,539 --> 00:06:56,998
yowling like
a kindergarten orchestra.

171
00:06:57,081 --> 00:06:58,164
Yu-how!

172
00:06:58,248 --> 00:07:00,039
- [Kazoo shrieks]
- Ow.

173
00:07:00,123 --> 00:07:01,914
Aah!

174
00:07:01,998 --> 00:07:03,164
That sounds horrible.

175
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:04,664
Kazoos always do, Private.

176
00:07:04,748 --> 00:07:08,039
But nobody had it worse
than poor Burt.

177
00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:10,998
With his jumbo-sized ears,
that incessant buzzing

178
00:07:11,081 --> 00:07:12,123
was sheer torture.

179
00:07:12,206 --> 00:07:14,248
[Kazoo shrieks]

180
00:07:14,331 --> 00:07:16,789
He hated that boy.

181
00:07:16,873 --> 00:07:19,039
[laughs]

182
00:07:19,123 --> 00:07:21,831
I wondered what ever happened
to the little maniac.

183
00:07:21,914 --> 00:07:23,664
Wait a minute.

184
00:07:23,748 --> 00:07:25,706
Look at those shifty eyes,

185
00:07:25,789 --> 00:07:29,873
that devious half smile,
those kazoo-kissed lips.

186
00:07:29,956 --> 00:07:32,123
By Newton's apple,
you're right.

187
00:07:32,206 --> 00:07:34,331
It's Kid Kazoo all grown up.

188
00:07:34,414 --> 00:07:36,373
- Wow.
- Burt really holds a grudge.

189
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,789
For years, apparently.

190
00:07:37,873 --> 00:07:40,498
I knew it sounded dark
and sinister,

191
00:07:40,581 --> 00:07:42,706
but this is darker,
sinster-er.

192
00:07:42,789 --> 00:07:45,456
Elephant payback.
[shudders]

193
00:07:45,539 --> 00:07:47,998
The trunk crusher,
the peanut pelter,

194
00:07:48,081 --> 00:07:51,039
maybe even the dreaded
two-cheek squab and squish.

195
00:07:51,123 --> 00:07:52,039
Oh, dear.

196
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:53,873
Uh, whatever it is,

197
00:07:53,956 --> 00:07:55,581
we helped him start
this mission of vengeance,

198
00:07:55,664 --> 00:07:58,248
and we're gonna stop it.

199
00:07:58,331 --> 00:07:59,706
Lenny, listen to me.

200
00:07:59,789 --> 00:08:01,956
I don't care
what the margins are, okay.

201
00:08:02,039 --> 00:08:03,414
Sell it.

202
00:08:03,498 --> 00:08:04,748
Spit it out like you found
a bug in it.

203
00:08:04,831 --> 00:08:05,789
And then...

204
00:08:05,873 --> 00:08:08,164
Ha...

205
00:08:08,248 --> 00:08:10,539
Yeah, Lenny, I'm gonna have
to call you back.

206
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:11,748
Cool?
Okay.

207
00:08:11,831 --> 00:08:13,789
Love to the family.
Buh-bye.

208
00:08:15,331 --> 00:08:16,873
Aaaaah!

209
00:08:16,956 --> 00:08:19,456
The hair is clearly
pachydermic in origin

210
00:08:19,539 --> 00:08:21,081
and fresh.

211
00:08:21,164 --> 00:08:23,539
A quick read of wind speed
and direction tells me

212
00:08:23,623 --> 00:08:26,373
Burt went that way.

213
00:08:27,331 --> 00:08:29,581
[screaming]

214
00:08:32,998 --> 00:08:35,081
[growling]

215
00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:36,873
Come on.
Come on.

216
00:08:36,956 --> 00:08:38,748
Yes?
Hello.

217
00:08:38,831 --> 00:08:41,748
You have reached the Animal
Control emergency hotline.

218
00:08:41,831 --> 00:08:44,414
If you know the type of animal
trying to gore you,

219
00:08:44,498 --> 00:08:45,956
please say it now.

220
00:08:46,039 --> 00:08:47,748
Elephant.

221
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:49,789
El-e-phant.

222
00:08:49,873 --> 00:08:51,206
Elephant!

223
00:08:51,289 --> 00:08:54,123
You said
everglades pygmy sunfish.

224
00:08:54,206 --> 00:08:57,206
First, step out of the bayou
onto dry land.

225
00:08:57,289 --> 00:08:58,289
What are talking--

226
00:08:58,373 --> 00:08:59,456
I just pressed a button.

227
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,373
For fish, press one.

228
00:09:05,039 --> 00:09:08,081
You don't know how long
I've waited for this,

229
00:09:08,164 --> 00:09:09,581
Kid Kazoo.

230
00:09:09,664 --> 00:09:12,664
Back away from that broker,
you psycho.

231
00:09:14,956 --> 00:09:16,081
P-p-penguins.

232
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,498
Now there's penguins?

233
00:09:17,581 --> 00:09:20,789
You said Puebloan milk snake.

234
00:09:21,873 --> 00:09:22,956
Yaah!

235
00:09:24,039 --> 00:09:25,206
No.

236
00:09:25,289 --> 00:09:26,998
You guys don't understand.

237
00:09:27,081 --> 00:09:28,789
I have to do this.

238
00:09:28,873 --> 00:09:30,664
Then I'm afraid
we'll have to do this.

239
00:09:30,748 --> 00:09:31,539
Ha!

240
00:09:31,623 --> 00:09:33,873
[all groaning]

241
00:09:33,956 --> 00:09:35,498
Quit it.

242
00:09:35,581 --> 00:09:37,123
Hey, cut it out.

243
00:09:39,081 --> 00:09:40,748
Aw, come on.

244
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:42,831
[yelling]

245
00:09:42,914 --> 00:09:44,039
Oomph.

246
00:09:44,123 --> 00:09:45,414
Outstanding, Private.

247
00:09:45,498 --> 00:09:47,498
Now show me that combat driving.

248
00:09:47,581 --> 00:09:50,039
But, Skipper, how do you
steer an elephant?

249
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,789
Ah, the eternal riddle.

250
00:09:51,873 --> 00:09:53,498
Does one truly steer
the elephant,

251
00:09:53,581 --> 00:09:54,998
or does the elephant--

252
00:09:55,081 --> 00:09:56,123
Ugh.

253
00:09:58,873 --> 00:10:00,206
Blat.

254
00:10:00,289 --> 00:10:03,456
[belching]

255
00:10:03,539 --> 00:10:04,831
Ooh, peanuts.

256
00:10:04,914 --> 00:10:05,998
Yaah!

257
00:10:06,081 --> 00:10:08,081
Oh!

258
00:10:09,956 --> 00:10:11,581
[all yell]

259
00:10:19,331 --> 00:10:20,998
No.
No!

260
00:10:21,081 --> 00:10:22,373
[gasps]

261
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:23,914
Good golly.
It's the two-cheeker.

262
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,706
[groans]

263
00:10:26,789 --> 00:10:28,081
What are you doing?

264
00:10:28,164 --> 00:10:29,331
What's going on?

265
00:10:29,414 --> 00:10:30,956
Did the psychoderm miss?

266
00:10:37,623 --> 00:10:39,539
My old kazoo.

267
00:10:39,623 --> 00:10:42,998
But I lost this thing
years ago at--

268
00:10:43,081 --> 00:10:45,998
at the Central Park Zoo.

269
00:10:46,081 --> 00:10:47,456
Wait.

270
00:10:47,539 --> 00:10:48,748
You're that elephant?

271
00:10:48,831 --> 00:10:51,539
He didn't lose it;
I took it.

272
00:10:51,623 --> 00:10:53,248
I snorted right out
of his pocket

273
00:10:53,331 --> 00:10:55,248
when he wasn't looking.

274
00:10:55,331 --> 00:10:56,748
I felt so guilty,

275
00:10:56,831 --> 00:10:59,248
I've been trying to give it back
ever since.

276
00:10:59,331 --> 00:11:02,081
And you couldn't have told us
that in the first place?

277
00:11:02,164 --> 00:11:03,539
Great.

278
00:11:03,623 --> 00:11:07,664
Ah, I just get so embarrassed.

279
00:11:07,748 --> 00:11:09,414
You know, it's mushy stuff.

280
00:11:09,498 --> 00:11:10,539
[hums kazoo]

281
00:11:10,623 --> 00:11:12,164
[laughs]
It still works.

282
00:11:12,248 --> 00:11:13,748
Cool.

283
00:11:13,831 --> 00:11:17,373
But I thought you hated
that kid and his kazoo.

284
00:11:17,456 --> 00:11:19,289
An elephant never forgets.

285
00:11:19,373 --> 00:11:22,331
But he always forgives.

286
00:11:22,414 --> 00:11:23,581
Right.

287
00:11:23,664 --> 00:11:26,081
A little sappy for my taste.

288
00:11:26,164 --> 00:11:28,539
Gentlemen, let's go home.

289
00:11:29,998 --> 00:11:32,081
But, Skipper, how are we
supposed to sneak Burt

290
00:11:32,164 --> 00:11:33,414
back to the zoo?

291
00:11:33,498 --> 00:11:34,998
Hmm.

292
00:11:35,081 --> 00:11:37,039
Now, remember, if anyone asks,

293
00:11:37,123 --> 00:11:39,289
your name is
the Museum of Modern Art.

294
00:11:39,373 --> 00:11:42,164
You can call me MoMa.

295
00:11:43,914 --> 00:11:46,706
[Spanish guitar music]

296
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:54,039
♪ ♪

297
00:11:55,956 --> 00:11:57,789
I'm so excited, Marlene.

298
00:11:57,873 --> 00:11:59,456
This'll solve all your problems.

299
00:11:59,539 --> 00:12:03,539
Um, not sure what problems
I'm having, but okay.

300
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:07,289
Meet the Love-u-lator 3000.

301
00:12:07,373 --> 00:12:08,664
Uh-huh.

302
00:12:08,748 --> 00:12:10,164
Using scientifically proven methods,

303
00:12:10,248 --> 00:12:12,706
it will scientifically locate
your ideal match

304
00:12:12,789 --> 00:12:14,956
according to science.

305
00:12:15,039 --> 00:12:16,331
Yeah, good.

306
00:12:16,414 --> 00:12:18,831
Real quick, one thing--
what?

307
00:12:18,914 --> 00:12:20,081
I mentioned science, right?

308
00:12:20,164 --> 00:12:21,331
Uh-huh.

309
00:12:21,414 --> 00:12:22,664
It'll find your dream date, Marlene.

310
00:12:22,748 --> 00:12:23,956
You'll be lonely no more.

311
00:12:24,039 --> 00:12:25,498
Who said I was lonely?

312
00:12:25,581 --> 00:12:26,498
You didn't have to.

313
00:12:26,581 --> 00:12:27,914
We're sensitive.

314
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,873
- [belches]
- Mostly.

315
00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:33,123
We just figured a single otter
in the big city...

316
00:12:33,206 --> 00:12:34,914
- Is...
- Lonely.

317
00:12:34,998 --> 00:12:38,331
The crushing solitude
is eating you alive.

318
00:12:38,414 --> 00:12:39,831
Um, no.

319
00:12:39,914 --> 00:12:41,331
No, I'm--I'm good.

320
00:12:41,414 --> 00:12:42,998
And why are you guys
suddenly interested

321
00:12:43,081 --> 00:12:45,498
in my social life anyway?

322
00:12:46,998 --> 00:12:48,998
All right,
we needed a guinea pig,

323
00:12:49,081 --> 00:12:50,873
and you were
the closest species.

324
00:12:50,956 --> 00:12:52,664
Genetically speaking.

325
00:12:52,748 --> 00:12:54,248
Kowalski's invention works.

326
00:12:54,331 --> 00:12:56,831
Think of all
the defense applications.

327
00:12:56,914 --> 00:13:00,289
Defense applications
of the Love-u-lator?

328
00:13:00,373 --> 00:13:01,164
Limitless.

329
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,206
Rico, spit-fishing time.

330
00:13:03,289 --> 00:13:04,831
Wait, wait, wait.
Spit w--

331
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,456
Aah.

332
00:13:06,539 --> 00:13:07,789
Blah.

333
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:12,206
[beeping]

334
00:13:12,289 --> 00:13:14,081
Now that we have
a saliva sample,

335
00:13:14,164 --> 00:13:17,289
DNA cross-referencing
will do its thing.

336
00:13:17,373 --> 00:13:18,706
Aha.

337
00:13:18,789 --> 00:13:20,414
Your new beau is...

338
00:13:20,498 --> 00:13:21,623
is...

339
00:13:21,706 --> 00:13:22,706
is not in the zoo.

340
00:13:22,789 --> 00:13:23,998
Adjust sensitivity.

341
00:13:24,081 --> 00:13:25,498
Expand search perimeter.

342
00:13:25,581 --> 00:13:27,414
And, uh, try that knob.

343
00:13:27,498 --> 00:13:30,123
[beeping]

344
00:13:31,206 --> 00:13:32,873
There he is.
In the park.

345
00:13:32,956 --> 00:13:34,498
Ooh la la.

346
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:37,331
The lady walks on the wild side.

347
00:13:37,414 --> 00:13:38,373
Heh-heh.

348
00:13:38,456 --> 00:13:40,498
Okay, let's roll, men.

349
00:13:41,873 --> 00:13:43,706
Guys, I am not looking
for a date.

350
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:45,123
Marlene,

351
00:13:45,206 --> 00:13:48,164
this is a scientifically
engineered hookup.

352
00:13:49,206 --> 00:13:51,956
Respect the science.

353
00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:56,039
Move out, men.
Double time.

354
00:13:56,123 --> 00:13:58,789
I can't wait to meet
Marlene's new boyfriend.

355
00:13:58,873 --> 00:14:00,581
[gasps]
Maurice.

356
00:14:00,664 --> 00:14:04,206
Those penguins are going to meet
Marlene's new boyfriend.

357
00:14:04,289 --> 00:14:05,914
Huh.
Good for her.

358
00:14:05,998 --> 00:14:07,248
No, not good for her.

359
00:14:07,331 --> 00:14:09,289
She already has a boyfriend.

360
00:14:09,373 --> 00:14:10,248
She does?

361
00:14:10,331 --> 00:14:12,414
Uh, yes, silly.
It's me!

362
00:14:12,498 --> 00:14:13,456
You?

363
00:14:13,539 --> 00:14:15,081
Let me guess.

364
00:14:15,164 --> 00:14:17,373
Marlene doesn't know
you're her boyfriend, right?

365
00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:19,914
Well, I have been meaning
to mention it to her.

366
00:14:19,998 --> 00:14:23,206
But I can see now,
I must step up my wooing.

367
00:14:23,289 --> 00:14:25,039
[sighs]
All right.

368
00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:27,456
We'll need flowers, candy,
and, uh...

369
00:14:27,539 --> 00:14:28,998
No, no, no, Maurice.

370
00:14:29,081 --> 00:14:30,956
The only way to win
this competition

371
00:14:31,039 --> 00:14:33,789
is to eliminate
the other competition.

372
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,248
[sighs]
All right.

373
00:14:35,331 --> 00:14:37,664
We'll need a sack,
clubs, and rope.

374
00:14:37,748 --> 00:14:39,039
Yes, Maurice.

375
00:14:39,123 --> 00:14:41,581
Now you are thinking romantically.

376
00:14:41,664 --> 00:14:42,748
[beeping]

377
00:14:42,831 --> 00:14:44,623
He's near.
Very near.

378
00:14:44,706 --> 00:14:46,248
In fact, he's here.

379
00:14:46,331 --> 00:14:49,873
Gentlemen,
Marlene's perfect match...

380
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,623
Hello.

381
00:14:51,706 --> 00:14:54,539
Oh, no.
Not that guy.

382
00:14:54,623 --> 00:14:55,998
What guy?

383
00:14:56,081 --> 00:14:57,706
It's what
the love-u-lator says.

384
00:14:57,789 --> 00:14:59,706
Well, maybe Fred is the one.

385
00:14:59,789 --> 00:15:01,039
Private, come on.

386
00:15:01,123 --> 00:15:02,498
Marlene is smart.

387
00:15:02,581 --> 00:15:03,706
Fred is...

388
00:15:03,789 --> 00:15:06,498
Ba-duh-diff.

389
00:15:06,581 --> 00:15:08,039
Yes, but, um...

390
00:15:08,123 --> 00:15:09,498
opposites attract.

391
00:15:09,581 --> 00:15:10,581
Hmm.

392
00:15:11,831 --> 00:15:12,831
Folksy wisdom.

393
00:15:12,914 --> 00:15:14,414
It must be true.

394
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:16,831
Penguins are ridiculous.

395
00:15:16,914 --> 00:15:18,748
Like I need them to set me up.

396
00:15:18,831 --> 00:15:20,039
Come on.

397
00:15:20,123 --> 00:15:22,039
Hello, Marlene.

398
00:15:22,123 --> 00:15:23,289
You guys.
Hello?

399
00:15:23,373 --> 00:15:24,664
I told you, I don't want--

400
00:15:24,748 --> 00:15:25,998
Marlene,

401
00:15:26,081 --> 00:15:27,831
I am begging you
in a hushed whisper,

402
00:15:27,914 --> 00:15:29,664
please, do this for me.

403
00:15:29,748 --> 00:15:33,581
I am losing faith in science,
and if I don't have science,

404
00:15:33,664 --> 00:15:34,664
I don't have...

405
00:15:34,748 --> 00:15:35,998
[sobbing]
I'm sorry.

406
00:15:36,081 --> 00:15:39,039
Okay, Kowalski. Relax.

407
00:15:39,123 --> 00:15:41,498
I will do this for you,
but you owe me.

408
00:15:41,581 --> 00:15:43,414
Marlene, this is Fred.

409
00:15:43,498 --> 00:15:44,998
He's a squirrel.

410
00:15:45,081 --> 00:15:47,373
Yeah, yeah.
The tail's a giveaway.

411
00:15:47,456 --> 00:15:49,081
Hey, Fred.
What's up?

412
00:15:49,164 --> 00:15:51,873
Um... sky.

413
00:15:51,956 --> 00:15:53,706
A few clouds.

414
00:15:53,789 --> 00:15:55,873
Oh, I get it.
Up. Yeah.

415
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,539
Well, he's got a sense of humor.

416
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,623
All righty, Fred.
Let's get to know you.

417
00:16:00,706 --> 00:16:01,706
What makes Fred tick?

418
00:16:01,789 --> 00:16:02,831
What does Fred like?

419
00:16:02,914 --> 00:16:04,664
What does he dislike?

420
00:16:04,748 --> 00:16:08,373
Oh, I like a lot of things,
except the things I don't like.

421
00:16:08,456 --> 00:16:10,581
Stupid things I don't like.

422
00:16:10,664 --> 00:16:14,539
You are really funny.

423
00:16:14,623 --> 00:16:16,039
And...

424
00:16:16,123 --> 00:16:18,206
kind of, sort of cute.

425
00:16:18,289 --> 00:16:20,373
Is this actually working?

426
00:16:20,456 --> 00:16:24,373
Oh, science, I never
should have doubted you.

427
00:16:24,456 --> 00:16:27,081
Well, let's give
these lovebirds some alone time.

428
00:16:27,164 --> 00:16:28,539
Roll out.

429
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,581
Oh, Fred.

430
00:16:33,664 --> 00:16:37,331
I so didn't expect this,
but I feel like we're--

431
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:39,914
I don't know,
I feel like we're clicking.

432
00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:41,498
Okay.

433
00:16:41,581 --> 00:16:44,914
Hey, when I look in your eyes,
you know what I see?

434
00:16:44,998 --> 00:16:46,414
- What?
- Me.

435
00:16:46,498 --> 00:16:47,748
Oh.

436
00:16:47,831 --> 00:16:50,081
That is the sweetest thing
anyone has ever--

437
00:16:50,164 --> 00:16:52,289
Um, could you hold still?

438
00:16:52,373 --> 00:16:54,623
I got some lettuce
in my teeth.

439
00:16:54,706 --> 00:16:56,081
Stop, you joker.

440
00:16:56,164 --> 00:16:57,623
I'm being serious.

441
00:16:57,706 --> 00:16:59,206
Okay.

442
00:16:59,289 --> 00:17:01,331
Okay, big question:

443
00:17:01,414 --> 00:17:05,039
how do you feel
about Spanish guitar?

444
00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:06,414
Aaah!

445
00:17:06,498 --> 00:17:08,831
You've got a--
a thing on your face.

446
00:17:08,914 --> 00:17:10,664
It's a mole or...

447
00:17:10,748 --> 00:17:12,414
no, maybe a chipmunk or--

448
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:13,706
whoa-ho.

449
00:17:14,873 --> 00:17:16,123
I'm a distraction.

450
00:17:16,206 --> 00:17:17,664
[laughs]

451
00:17:17,748 --> 00:17:19,706
Fred.

452
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,248
Fred?

453
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:24,289
And now to check on
my little love experiment

454
00:17:24,373 --> 00:17:27,623
and see if the subjects
are "digging" each other.

455
00:17:27,706 --> 00:17:28,956
[chuckles]

456
00:17:29,039 --> 00:17:30,873
Lemurs stole my date!

457
00:17:30,956 --> 00:17:32,164
G-gaa-gaah!

458
00:17:32,248 --> 00:17:35,164
Whoa.
Where--where are we?

459
00:17:35,248 --> 00:17:37,456
This is the reptile house.

460
00:17:37,539 --> 00:17:40,789
I selected it for,
you know, mood.

461
00:17:40,873 --> 00:17:41,873
Mood.

462
00:17:41,956 --> 00:17:43,581
Very nice.

463
00:17:43,664 --> 00:17:44,789
No, not nice.

464
00:17:44,873 --> 00:17:46,206
Savage.

465
00:17:46,289 --> 00:17:49,789
We are here to fight
for Marlene's paw.

466
00:17:49,873 --> 00:17:51,289
Ah, she can keep her paw.

467
00:17:51,373 --> 00:17:54,206
I already have four of my own.

468
00:17:54,289 --> 00:17:56,414
Ugh.
Might as well sit down.

469
00:17:56,498 --> 00:17:59,331
This is gonna take a while.

470
00:17:59,414 --> 00:18:01,914
Huh, what is it
she sees in you?

471
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,748
It cannot be the bushy tail.

472
00:18:03,831 --> 00:18:05,998
My tail is the bushiest.

473
00:18:06,081 --> 00:18:07,831
The shiny fur?
No.

474
00:18:07,914 --> 00:18:10,373
This is have as well,
as you can see.

475
00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:11,664
What do you have that I do not?

476
00:18:11,748 --> 00:18:13,164
Big teeth.

477
00:18:13,248 --> 00:18:16,539
[gasps]
The teeth.

478
00:18:16,623 --> 00:18:18,081
Mine are puny.

479
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:20,206
They lack pearly magnificence.

480
00:18:20,289 --> 00:18:23,664
But, Maurice,
give to me your teeth.

481
00:18:23,748 --> 00:18:24,789
Okay.

482
00:18:24,873 --> 00:18:27,331
[grunting]

483
00:18:28,581 --> 00:18:29,914
Now get up
on the lemur habitat.

484
00:18:29,998 --> 00:18:31,123
No one's there.

485
00:18:31,206 --> 00:18:32,873
Okay, this--this is crazy.

486
00:18:32,998 --> 00:18:35,873
What could the lemurs
possibly want with my boyfriend?

487
00:18:35,956 --> 00:18:37,914
Boyfriend.

488
00:18:37,998 --> 00:18:40,039
Who knows what sick
and twisted things

489
00:18:40,123 --> 00:18:41,873
they're doing to him.

490
00:18:41,956 --> 00:18:43,164
Rico, tracking mode.

491
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:44,164
[slurping]

492
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,539
Hmm.

493
00:18:45,623 --> 00:18:49,039
[sniffing]

494
00:18:49,123 --> 00:18:50,914
[muttering]
Aha!

495
00:18:50,998 --> 00:18:52,081
Ooh, he's got something.

496
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:53,581
This way, men.

497
00:18:55,123 --> 00:18:56,456
Heh...

498
00:19:02,123 --> 00:19:03,789
Hee-ha-ha, ha!

499
00:19:05,289 --> 00:19:07,748
Ha, hoo, ha, hiya!

500
00:19:07,831 --> 00:19:10,748
Um, I'm supposed to do
what with this again?

501
00:19:10,831 --> 00:19:12,289
Hit me.

502
00:19:12,373 --> 00:19:14,873
But you're already doing that
to yourself.

503
00:19:14,956 --> 00:19:16,789
But...

504
00:19:16,873 --> 00:19:18,039
I told--

505
00:19:18,123 --> 00:19:19,498
listen to--

506
00:19:20,664 --> 00:19:21,748
[groans]

507
00:19:22,914 --> 00:19:25,039
Hurry.
We've got to find boo boo.

508
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:27,289
- Boo boo?
- Boo boo?

509
00:19:27,373 --> 00:19:29,414
That's my cute nickname
for Fred.

510
00:19:29,498 --> 00:19:31,956
You know, not that it's
any of your business.

511
00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:33,581
Cutesy nicknames.

512
00:19:33,664 --> 00:19:35,581
Fantastic.

513
00:19:36,664 --> 00:19:39,331
Oh, come on, you lollygagger.

514
00:19:39,414 --> 00:19:40,789
You're not even trying.

515
00:19:40,873 --> 00:19:42,956
Just put your back into it
and swing.

516
00:19:43,039 --> 00:19:43,998
Do what now?

517
00:19:44,081 --> 00:19:44,998
Oof!

518
00:19:45,081 --> 00:19:46,831
Oh, I'm sorry.

519
00:19:46,914 --> 00:19:49,289
No, that is what you are
supposed to be doing.

520
00:19:49,373 --> 00:19:50,581
Nice shot.

521
00:19:50,664 --> 00:19:51,581
Thanks.

522
00:19:51,664 --> 00:19:52,706
Aah!

523
00:19:53,956 --> 00:19:54,998
Oh!

524
00:19:55,081 --> 00:19:56,123
We're coming, Fred!

525
00:19:56,206 --> 00:19:57,539
We're coming!

526
00:19:57,623 --> 00:20:01,789
I've cracked the love code.
Oh, baby!

527
00:20:01,873 --> 00:20:04,164
I will take those
showy-offy teeth

528
00:20:04,248 --> 00:20:05,956
right out of your nut face.

529
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,998
Aaaah!

530
00:20:09,081 --> 00:20:10,206
Whaaah!

531
00:20:10,289 --> 00:20:11,873
Aaaah, haha!

532
00:20:11,956 --> 00:20:13,164
Aah!

533
00:20:13,248 --> 00:20:14,581
When I find Julien,

534
00:20:14,664 --> 00:20:15,998
I am gonna rip him
limb from limb,

535
00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:17,373
sew him back together,

536
00:20:17,456 --> 00:20:19,289
then rip him apart
all over again.

537
00:20:19,373 --> 00:20:20,873
[yelling]

538
00:20:20,956 --> 00:20:22,873
Sounds like someone
beat you to it.

539
00:20:25,539 --> 00:20:27,039
Einstein's mullet.

540
00:20:27,123 --> 00:20:28,623
[gasp]

541
00:20:28,706 --> 00:20:31,123
What in the name
of all that is decent and good

542
00:20:31,206 --> 00:20:32,706
have you done to him?

543
00:20:32,789 --> 00:20:35,123
Nothing.
He did it to himself.

544
00:20:35,206 --> 00:20:37,539
Sadly, this is true.

545
00:20:37,623 --> 00:20:40,414
You win, Freddy squirrel.

546
00:20:40,498 --> 00:20:43,831
You may have the paw
of the lovely Marlene.

547
00:20:43,914 --> 00:20:46,248
You--you guys
were fighting over me?

548
00:20:46,331 --> 00:20:48,498
Julien, I am not some prize.

549
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,831
Yes, now that I look you over,

550
00:20:50,914 --> 00:20:52,998
especially from
this unflattering angle,

551
00:20:53,081 --> 00:20:56,123
I have decided you are right,
you are no prize.

552
00:20:56,206 --> 00:20:57,248
Wait, wait, wait.
Wh-what?

553
00:20:57,331 --> 00:21:00,373
Maurice, cart me away.

554
00:21:02,248 --> 00:21:03,456
Oh!

555
00:21:03,539 --> 00:21:05,164
Gently, Maurice.

556
00:21:05,248 --> 00:21:06,664
Gently.

557
00:21:06,748 --> 00:21:10,498
So, Fred, how about you
show me the town?

558
00:21:10,581 --> 00:21:12,373
It's right over there.

559
00:21:12,456 --> 00:21:15,331
You kidder.

560
00:21:15,414 --> 00:21:17,623
You are kidding, right?

561
00:21:19,831 --> 00:21:21,206
[sighs]

562
00:21:21,289 --> 00:21:23,373
I wonder how the rest
of Marlene's date went.

563
00:21:23,456 --> 00:21:26,498
I'm sure it was
a many-splendored theme.

564
00:21:26,581 --> 00:21:27,873
Well, it had to be.

565
00:21:27,956 --> 00:21:31,039
It was scientifically guaranteed.

566
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,706
Hey, guys.

567
00:21:32,789 --> 00:21:35,164
So, uh, Fred... yeah.

568
00:21:35,248 --> 00:21:36,248
Not happening.

569
00:21:36,331 --> 00:21:37,873
- What?
- Yeah.

570
00:21:37,956 --> 00:21:39,664
It turns out what I thought
was him being funny

571
00:21:39,748 --> 00:21:43,123
was actually him
just being uh... uh...

572
00:21:43,206 --> 00:21:44,623
Dumb as a sack of hammers?

573
00:21:44,706 --> 00:21:47,623
Let's just say
I did not hear Spanish guitar

574
00:21:47,706 --> 00:21:48,998
when we were together.

575
00:21:49,081 --> 00:21:52,039
But science led us
right to him.

576
00:21:52,123 --> 00:21:54,414
Science said he was perfect.

577
00:21:54,498 --> 00:21:57,539
Science!
Why have you forsaken me?

578
00:21:59,706 --> 00:22:01,498
Aaaah!

579
00:22:03,748 --> 00:22:06,623
[beeping]

580
00:22:08,789 --> 00:22:11,039
Fred, amigo,
where have you been?

581
00:22:11,123 --> 00:22:12,414
Hey, Antonio.

582
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:15,081
I met this girl,
but it didn't work out.

583
00:22:15,164 --> 00:22:17,873
She kept laughing at me
for no reason.

584
00:22:17,956 --> 00:22:19,998
Oh, sorry to hear that, Fred.

585
00:22:20,081 --> 00:22:22,081
It's hard to find
that special lady.

586
00:22:22,164 --> 00:22:25,998
Just ask me, the otter bachelor
of Central Park.

587
00:22:26,081 --> 00:22:28,873
What's odder
about being a bachelor?

588
00:22:28,956 --> 00:22:32,039
Oh, ho, ho.
You and that sense of humor.

589
00:22:32,123 --> 00:22:33,414
Anyway...

590
00:22:33,498 --> 00:22:36,414
I'm going to play
my Spanish guitar now.

591
00:22:36,498 --> 00:22:39,414
[Spanish guitar music]

592
00:22:39,498 --> 00:22:42,414
♪ ♪