[bell tolls]
[brassy detective music]
- Hit it. - ♪ Hey-oh, yah, hah ♪
- ♪ Oh, hey-oh ♪ - Yeah.
- ♪ Hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Yeah, oh-hey-oh ♪
[brassy detective music]
[camera shutter clicks]
Cute and cuddly, boys.
[suspenseful music]
[chattering]
- Ooh. - I think Rico's got something.
Nice and easy, Rico.
Remember, the condiments are more scared of you
than you are of them.
Uh... ah!
I got it. Yes!
Chopped onions!
[gobbling]
Onions, Skipper?
No, thanks.
I'm after the big catch:
the elusive Polish Sauerkraut.
[all gasp]
Hello, Sauerkraut.
Whoa, big fella.
- Ah! - Skipper!
Ugh! Eek!
Ah!
[thuds]
You win this round, Sauerkraut.
- Are you hurt? - Sweet, naive Private.
I wouldn't be where I am today
if I didn't know how to take a fall.
Well, that was a lucky break--
broken, broken, broken!
- Oh! - Ugh!
What, this?
It's just a sprain.
Skipper, I don't think that's just a sp--sprain.
You--you need to see the doctor.
Doctor?
That needle-sticking demon?
No, thank you.
But, Skipper, look at it.
Wings don't bend that way.
Maybe I'm double jointed.
[metal creaking]
- Oh, that makes sense. - Great!
Then we won't have to miss our volleyball game.
Coming your way, Skipper.
[grunting]
All right, then, Skipper?
- Double jointed. - Great!
Then we won't have to miss the arm-wrestling tournament.
[screams]
Hooray for me!
Oh, for the love of--
that wasn't even an arm.
Skipper, is your double-jointed wing
turning a little swolleny?
- It's nothing. - Great!
Then we won't have to miss high-five practice.
Teh-heh!
Oh, yes!
[screams] [wheezing]
I guess that's why we need practice.
Oh, look at that wing.
- How long have you-- - [screams]
Ach! That's got to be infected.
Infected?
[ominous music]
Well, it's definitely broken.
Hi-ya! [cries]
[laughs]
Now, don't worry, little fellow.
I know you don't like the big, scary needles.
This time, we'll use a topical cream instead.
Oh, yeah? You try anything,
and I'll cream your topical--
[mumbling]
I've applied a powerful muscle relaxant for the pain,
and this sterile wrap should keep him
from doing any more damage.
So we're good?
'Cause it's kind of grossing me out.
I'd like to keep him under observation
for a few days, but he'll be fine.
Okay, big guy?
[mumbling]
Ya ha!
Oh, doctor.
[groans]
Did we operate in time?
Why, doctor, you know there's always time... for love.
[grunts in disgust]
[grunts happily]
All right, Private.
Now describe to us exactly what you see.
Um... wall.
Possibly brick.
Ugh, we're one penguin short.
How are we supposed to get intel on Skipper's condition
- if we can't-- - Wait, listen.
But, doctor, we can't just give up on him.
I'm afraid the infection is just too far along.
It's reached the brain, where it's done things--
horrible things.
[coughs]
There's simply nothing we can do.
The infection.
Still, it's nice they brought in an orchestra
to help break the news.
I'm so sorry.
It's over.
[wheezing]
[coughing]
[gasps]
[coughs]
[crash]
Skipper's gone?
It--it--it can't be.
What'll we do?
We'll honor him the way he would have wanted:
by soldiering on like men.
[all sobbing]
Why? Why? Why?
[grunting]
Uh!
[dramatic music]
[thunder rumbling]
[slurred speech]
No, you've got to put more emotion in it,
like you're disappointed but you also care.
Yes, that's it!
Just like Skipper used to do it.
Oh, dear.
[Skipper mumbling]
[gasps]
It's Skipper!
Skipper?
That's not Skipper, at least not anymore.
You heard the doctor.
That infection did things to his brain,
horrible things.
What kind of horrible things?
[mumbling]
From the looks of it, I'd say horrible zombie things.
Is he... dangerous?
Oh, you bet your succulent cerebral cortex he is.
Just try to avoid eye contact,
wear something to protect the brain area,
and move slowly toward--
- Bley! - Ah!
It's trying to devour us all!
Run!
Rai!
Ah, flagava.
[screams]
[laughs sheepishly]
[screams]
[all panting]
I think we lost him.
Let me just slowly poke my head
around this blind corner to make sure.
- Hey, geba! - [all scream]
Hey, gebaga!
Uh!
[screaming]
Okay, based on what I know about zombies,
the safest place to hide is in a small, dark room
- with creepy lighting. - [all scream]
Everything I've learned is a lie!
[dramatic musical flourish]
Is he gone?
I don't see him any--
[screams]
What was that for?
Well, I just assumed he was going to pop up
from out of nowh-- look behind you!
Ah--
And, once again, I appear to be mistaken.
Huh.
Well, I guess you can never tell--
He's eating Rico's brain.
[outraged] Rico's?
I mean, did you even see
this juicy, jumbo, genius tenderloin, huh?
That's grade "A" science brain, baby.
- [grunts] - [screams]
Every brain for himself!
Rah!
Baba gahee!
Isn't there any way we could help him?
Aggo baga!
Are you mad, man?
There's no known cure for chronic zombiism.
Unless...
if we captured zombie Skipper, we could find a cure.
- What? - How would we do that?
Through a grueling series of increasingly painful tests
- to every part of Skipper's body. - Gahega?
But won't all that pain be... painful?
Ah, not to a zombie.
Nova voova?
Ah.
Adaga figure heggy.
Come here.
Guh-oh. Ga!
Quick, he's getting away.
[groaning]
Oh, right.
Pile on, everyone!
Remember, he can't feel a thing.
[fuse hissing]
Hey.
Aha!
Gah.
Gobo gah!
No mercy this time, boys.
Rico, see if you can shut off your conscience
and sense of decency.
[saw whirring]
[laughs maniacally]
Stoogel.
Bavegaga!
Jabooga.
St--st--st--
stop, stop!
The zombie can speak.
I'm not...
a zombie.
But the infection.
We heard the doctor say--
Who are you going to believe,
some two-bit medicine man or your own commanding officer?
Could it really be true?
How can we know for sure?
[saw whirring]
Oh, Rico, chain saw's your answer to everything.
- Oh! - Men, amigos,
my brothers in black and white.
Look at me.
All I've got is a broken wing.
And I'm pretty sure that's not contagious.
Then why were you chasing us?
Well, because it itches like sandpaper underpants.
Rico, scratch maneuver, double time.
No, Rico!
Nice try, zombie.
[all yelling]
- [thuds] - [siren wailing]
Okay, I stand corrected
on the contagiousness of broken wings.
But I did tell you I wasn't a zombie.
- [dramatic music] - [all moaning]
[upbeat music]
I don't like it.
What do you make of it, Kowalski?
I'm not sure, Skipper. It could be anything.
Oh, really? Could it be Alaska?
No, it's probably not a--
Are you saying Alaska might be stuck upside down
to the clock tower of my zoo?
I guess--
Because I think people would notice
if the entire State of Alaska just packed up
and moved to the zoo.
All right, maybe it couldn't be anything.
Ruh!
I'm sorry, boys.
I sometimes resort to sarcasm when facing the unknown.
No duh.
No one knows anything about it, Skipper.
It just showed up mysteriously in the night.
All right, people.
We have an unauthorized gray lump.
I need answers.
This looks like a job for science!
Come on, science. Don't let me down.
[with Russian accent] Who poke stick?
You like poke? Vee poke, okay?
I sting your face.
Skipper, it's a hornet's nest.
Hey, look who vin prize?
You know vat's dee prize?
I sting your face.
Easy, now, stingtail.
We don't want any trouble.
We're just questioning your choice of nest location.
Oh, and I have question for you.
- Knock, knock. - Who's there?
I sting your face. Sting, sting, sting.
Knock it off. Knock it off!
There is a whole park out there.
We could find you a secluded glade, perhaps.
This is a children's zoo... with children.
Is okay. Vee sting the childrens enough,
they don't come back.
Whoa, stingtail.
Nobody threatens the kiddies in my zoo.
Consider your pointy keister out of here.
[whistles]
With all the other pointy keisters.
Less talk, more sting.
[penguins screaming]
- Ow! - Ooh!
Ow! Ow! Ow, ow, ow!
[hornets buzzing]
Okay, they surprised us the first time,
took away our greatest weapons: stealth, superior tactics.
Well, that ain't gonna happen twice.
It happened twice. It happened twice!
This does not wash.
We're penguins. They're insects.
We've got the size advantage.
But, Skipper, they've got the owie advantage.
- Owie! - We can't take out their nest
without entering a world of pain.
Hmm.
Kowalski, where are we on eliminating pain?
Way ahead of you, Skipper.
I've just been perfecting a pain elimination helmet.
As you'll see...
the neuron-inhibiting matrix provides 100% protection
from all forms of--ah!
It's not perfected!
Oh, it hurts! It hurts so bad!
[sighs] It's a fool's dream.
To live without pain,
you'd have to be uniquely freakish.
Did I drop a mango down here--
[all gasp]
There you are, mango.
No pain.
It's like it never happened.
[mumbling]
You want me to talk to the bees?
Hornets, and talk ain't gonna cut it.
This mission requires harsh, decisive action.
Kisses and huggies?
We need you... to go up there...
and remove... the hornets' nest.
Can I play in the beehive?
Penguins: Hornets!
Vat? You want more sting?
- He wants the sting. - I sting you so hard,
your great-grandchildren say, "ouch."
Retreat!
[penguins screaming]
Hmm.
[hornets buzzing]
Sting, sting, sting, sting, sting, sting!
[laughs]
It makes me polka-dotty.
It's hopeless, Skipper.
Mort simply doesn't understand the job.
Is this a waffle maker?
No, that's a fusion incinerato--
[electricity buzzing]
Oh, I bet this one makes bubbles, right?
Doesn't understand...
Of course!
Mm, of course. What?
If I'm correct--
[laughs] Wait. "If."
These brain energy-reading goggles should prove--
- [laughs] - Yes.
It seems Mort is being protected by a field of ignorance.
He doesn't know he's in danger, and therefore he feels nothing.
Shouldn't someone stop that?
I smell burning cookies.
Fascinating theory, Kowalski.
But how does that eighty-six the hornet's nest?
Don't you see, Skipper?
If we simply erase every single painful thought
from our minds, we can be as painlessly ignorant as Mort.
Outstanding.
Where can we find an instrument
that could wipe out all brain functions?
Okay, now, this is definitely a job for science.
[laughs]
[electricity buzzing]
Gentlemen, I give you the degausser.
One electromagno zap,
and the mind goes as blank as Mort's.
Instant halo-of-ignorance protection.
- Is it dangerous? - Just a little incredibly so.
But don't worry; all your brain power
will be stored inside this cardboard box
until the hornet job is complete.
Private, give that man a brain.
Guh!
Okay, let's get stupid.
[warbling]
[ding]
Private, are you all right?
How do you feel?
Rico, my medical supplies.
Ooh, is that a cotton candy machine?
I like cotton candy.
- [electricity crackling] - Ooh, tickly!
Eureka!
Stupid mission accomplished.
Now all we have to do
is point him at the hornet's nest, and--
Oh, pretty shiny light machine.
No, no, not the degausser!
I'm a disco penguin.
Be careful!
[all yelling]
[machine whirs to a stop]
Hello?
together: I like degaussing.
[laughs]
all: Yay!
[laughter]
Hello.
all: Hello!
Hurry, I see school bus coming.
Ah, school bus.
Is like gift box of children for stinging.
[laughter]
Did you make friends with the bees yet?
all: Bee, yay!
[children laughing]
Here they come.
Is going to be busy children-stinging day today.
all: Bees!
Why you come back now for?
Hey, maybe they like the sting.
Then vee give the sting.
both: sting!
[laughter]
Bees!
Yay!
I ate soap.
The sting, it does nothing.
How the sting does nothing?
You sting wrong.
Why you criticize?
You always have puny sting.
I have feelings.
We cannot stop them.
What is all this loud talk about stinging
all day long, until the royal nap is ruined?
Ruined!
Huh?
all: The feet!
What?
all: Aw!
[laughter]
The royal feet.
What the-- okay, back to children stinging.
The royal feet are mine.
And I will have...
vengeance!
[giggles]
Okay, be right back.
What if I hug something special of yours, huh?
How about that?
How about I hug your brainy box?
[ding]
Thoughts returning.
Picked up some of Rico's--
[gags] saw horrible--
Eh.
Skipper, the children!
[hornets buzzing]
- [hornets laugh evilly] - Hot fudge,
they're going to dive-bomb those schoolkids.
Skipper, what do we do?
Without our halo of ignorance, we're powerless to stop them.
We have bees?
- Actually, they're-- - Bees make honey.
Why do I not have delicious bee honey in my belly right now?
- I will get the honey. - Mort, no!
- They're hornets, not-- - Bees!
[laughs]
My favorite part is the screaming.
And we go.
The nest! The nest!
What?
It's a monster.
Hello, bees.
Where are you hiding the honey?
I need it for King Julien to love me.
The nest, it is kaputted.
Flee! Flee for your lives!
Yeah!
All right!
- [children cheering] - We did it.
Sad Eyes actually did the job.
Truly, his powers are too mighty
for such mere mortals as we.
Oh, come back, bees!
[slurps]
[spits]
Mort, this is the worst honey I have ever licked.
Can I have some?
Of course not, you greedy.
It is for the king.
Mmm, so terrible.
I sting your face.
[brassy detective music]